WEBVTT - The Debate About Marrying "Up" 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:03.880 Hey, ba fan, Mandy here or Mandra, you can call 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:06.880 me Mandra, that's fine. I have a simple request for you, guys. 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:09.080 We get so many questions on how you can support 0:00:09.080 --> 0:00:11.600 the show, and there's really a very very simple thing 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:14.319 that we need you guys to do. Open up this app, 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:17.000 open up wherever you're listening to this podcast right now, 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:20.119 and subscribe if you have the ability, especially those of 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.720 you who are on iTunes. We're really making a push 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.320 to get the show more visible. You've seen that we've 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:28.280 partnered with a fabulous new network called Westwood One. But 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:30.720 we also need the support of our listeners. 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Subscribe, like and review the show, 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:08.080 and we thank you so much. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:29.160 Hey hey, hey, we're back. 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:34.600 We're bled, We're brown. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:36.440 Hey, Hey, hey Mandra. 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:39.200 Hey happy bran ambition Wednesday. 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:43.759 Oh, how have you been since the last time we chatted? 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:47.080 You know who even knows? I think since we last 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:50.400 chatted it was we passed the year anniversary of COVID, 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:54.120 So a lot of feelings have been felt on my side, 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.280 a lot of looking back at old photos of me 0:01:57.400 --> 0:01:59.720 and the baby one year ago kind of like where 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:01.920 I was, and it's like, oh, yeah, my mom was 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:04.480 here and I had just started on my you know, 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:07.920 seeing my psychiatrist and trying to get my mental health 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.160 in check. And I remember it was around this time 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:13.000 we finally finally got an editor. So hey, shout out 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:16.440 to Keli for all the help. And yeah, it was 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.440 such a It was a huge turning point for me 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:21.040 as a as a mom, as a career person, a 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:24.400 career woman, and just a human being in this world. 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.080 So yeah, I did. I did a lot of like 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:30.240 reflecting and trying to just be grateful for having come 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:33.919 out on the other side almost and got my vaccine appointment. 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.840 My husband's got his coming up this week, and we're 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:41.080 we're cautiously feeling dare I say a little tiny optimistic 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:42.920 about you know, the year to come? 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:47.240 That's good, that's good. Honestly, it's just been we're winding down, 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:53.000 you know, books stuff and also to so if you 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.799 have not voted for me for NAACP Award, hello, hit 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:57.760 up my socials, especially my Instagram. 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:00.919 You'll see a picture somewhere. You can vote every day, y'all. 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:04.840 Even though you know I did it twice? You did? 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:06.240 I remember two times? 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:06.480 Yes? 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:07.040 Look at you? 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:08.920 So you know this is your reminder vote for me 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:13.040 this today. But today you know I always go down 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:14.800 like the YouTube rabbit hole. I don't know if it's 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.520 you if you do that, Like when I can't sleep, 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:19.680 I'm like, what's on YouTube? And lately I've been seeing 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:23.800 a lot of videos about something called hypergamy. Have you 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:25.080 heard of hypergamy before? 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.240 I have not. When you originally asked me, I was like, 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:30.239 say who to what? And I'm the kind of person 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:32.520 who wants to feel like I know everything, But I 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:34.880 have to admit, never heard of it, no idea what 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:36.680 it is? So edgem acat me. 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:43.880 So. According to the Wikipedia, hypergamy commonly referred to as 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:48.680 quote unquote marrying up, occasionally referred to as. 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:50.160 Well, never mind't worry about that part. 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.560 But it's a term used in social science for the 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:56.760 act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of 0:03:56.960 --> 0:04:01.240 higher cast or social status in themselves. Typically from what 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:02.880 I've seen, like when I've seen like on like, it's 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:04.440 been a lot on social media. There's a lot of 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:09.000 Instagram accounts that talk about hypergamy. Typically when marrying up, 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.040 it's usually like a man with money with more money 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:15.200 than them, like, you know, looking specifically for man who 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.599 had more money. So I was in this Clubhouse group, 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:20.599 like when Clubhouse first came out, and they were talking 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:22.840 about does the person you date or does the man 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:26.200 you date have to make multiple six figures or something 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:29.000 to that effect. But I went in there, and you know, 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.039 there were a lot of people who were like shaming 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:33.599 women who wanted a partner that made, you know, good money, 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:37.599 And there were a lot of people who were also like, no, 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:39.800 they don't have to. But I just shared that, like, 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:41.760 you know, my husband doesn't make more than I do. 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:45.240 He doesn't make multiple six figures, and you know, we 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:49.560 are happy and stable. What do you think about that. 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:55.320 So it is a practice that that I see is 0:04:55.400 --> 0:05:00.159 not new, but it seems like just from like reading 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:02.960 and watching these YouTube videos, that it's something that's being 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:07.200 introduced to black and brown women more than ever before. 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:11.120 And for some reason, so many women who are black 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:14.599 and brown are being shamed for saying, hey, I would 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:16.599 like a partner that makes a certain amount of money, 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:19.280 and they're like, hey, how come I can't say that, 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.840 but our white counterparts, those women can say that. You know, 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:26.039 like we look at women when they marry up and 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:27.800 we're like, oh, that's good. But as soon as a 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.320 black woman is like, hey, you know, I'd like a 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:33.000 man who makes this amount of money because I want 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:35.359 to be I want to be kept in a certain 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:36.880 fashion if I want to be kept at all, or 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:38.600 maybe I make this a certain amount of money and 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.719 I'd like for him to match me, you know. 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.840 I mean, yeah, so I'm curious. I mean to like, yes, 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.880 you and Superman have a there's a big you know, 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:50.760 you've talked about the disparity and your income and the 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:54.360 gap there, but when you originally met Superman, you certainly 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.920 weren't like the budget needs to Superstar, you know, so 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.800 at the time do you remember and you were looking, 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:02.359 you know, for a partner. I don't know if you 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:04.120 were looking or not, of Superman just fell into a 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:05.320 lot because you lucky like that. 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:08.520 But no, you're right, I was you approach it. 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:10.680 Yeah, girl, we was neck and neck, okay, because we 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:12.760 were like we were in our early twenties when I 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.680 first met him, and we'll know he's met me. So 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:16.880 we were like I was literally just starting my like 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:20.360 preschool teaching. I honestly, we probably were making around the 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:22.279 same amount. Who knows, I was making thirty nine thousand, 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:24.440 maybe he was making a little bit less. But when 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:26.800 I also too, I wasn't looking for like a permanent partner. 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:28.520 I was just like, oh, he's cute, he's nice, and 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:30.760 so we dated a little bit, and then when I 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:33.000 was thirty when we met again, I mean, he definitely 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:34.960 was making more than me because I was making it nothing, 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:37.279 that's what I had just lost my job, but I 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:39.280 was just like, unemployment is my employer. 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:42.000 That was the only check a system was getting. 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.440 And then when we started to date, like the last 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.400 and final time, when I was like about thirty four, I. 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:49.920 Was making a little bit more than him. 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:53.159 But well, no, that's not even true because at thirty 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.839 four my business was making more, but probably my take 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.479 home we were probably like to your point, around neck 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:02.919 and Nick maybe slightly more. But then obviously since being 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:06.600 with him, I've grown tremendously. So to your point, I 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:10.440 don't know if I met him Tiffany now to where 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:12.400 he is now, what that would have been. But because 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.840 we kind of grew up together financially, and he provided 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.600 a safe space for me to like flourish and grow. 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:20.680 So to your point, you're right, it's probably not a 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.920 fair comparison to say like, well, hey, I'm everything's good 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:25.560 over here. It's like, yeah, but you guys started off 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:26.720 at the same you know. 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:30.280 Yeah, I think in an ideal world, the thing is 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:33.440 not everybody has that is not, you know, married to 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:36.440 someone that they met in their early twenties, like I. 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:38.280 You know, I met my husband when I was twenty four, 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:41.640 and we were same as you and Superman, you know, financially, 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:44.560 you know, on a similar path, and he was finishing 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.080 up his masters and moving up in his you know, 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.280 his government job, and I was just a I was 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:53.480 a writer, and we both had career ambitions. But for me, 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:56.760 I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for certain 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:59.880 attributes and a partner. And is hype is a hypergamy? 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.080 Is that just like heterosexual relationships? Is it only when 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:04.440 a woman is looking for a man. 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:08.480 No, it's just like more basically, it's quote unquote leveling up. 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:11.280 Like there's this, For example, there's a woman, this one 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.960 is a white woman, but her name is what is 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:16.960 her name? But she's got this this like social media 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:20.880 channel and Instagram and YouTube channel called school of Affluence. 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.680 Her name is Annabe. That's what it is, Annabe. And 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:27.960 she's grown tremendously. I think she was out for like 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.400 two years. She's already got like a million here and like, 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:34.880 but she teaches hypogamy like looking for a partner, she teaches. Yeah, 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:38.320 she literally her school, her school of Hype of Affluence, 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:42.080 is to teach you how to attract a man. 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:44.280 Of means interesting. 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:46.640 Well, what I was what I was gonna say is 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:48.800 not everyone is in a position where they are in 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:50.880 the early twenties and they meet their partner, they don't 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:53.520 have any Well, in your case, Superman did have a 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:57.920 child from a previous relationship. But I think it's very different. 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:01.000 Like for example, when my mom had divorced my dad 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:03.560 and she had four kids, like under the age of thirteen, 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:06.880 and she, you know, was I remember, I have such 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:09.120 fond memories of her starting to date when I was 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.600 like twelve, and she would have these you know, she'd 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:13.920 go online match dot Com or whatever it was back 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:17.560 e Harmony and she would, yeah, she would be dating, 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:20.800 and in her position, I can totally understand how she 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:23.600 was like, yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna even 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:27.720 entertain the idea of dating someone who's not able to 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:30.600 you know, support himself at the very least, because like, 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:33.839 I got all these kids. So I do think for 0:09:34.280 --> 0:09:37.440 women in certain positions, you know, you may be it 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:41.480 just may be reality, like I need an additional income 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:44.920 and or I, you know, I'm making ends meet as 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:48.839 a single parent, and additional income would be nice. And 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:50.800 you don't want to marry someone who has a bunch 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.920 of debt or you know, can't manage their their finances, 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:57.720 so I I yees. So I feel like context is everything, 0:09:57.760 --> 0:10:03.640 And I completely see why someone would intentionally go out 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:07.760 into the dating scene knowing that they wanted someone and 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:12.040 you know, man or woman or whoever wanted someone in 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:15.920 a certain financial position. I think where I get uncomfortable 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:19.160 is the idea of or honestly, you know, to each 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.560 their own right. But for me, what makes me more 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:25.800 uncomfortable is the notion the idea of pursuing someone of 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:29.240 a certain income or class. I don't know, it seems 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:31.720 so like weird to say class, but it very much 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.760 exists with the idea that you just need someone to 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:37.320 take care of you, because, like, I think, what both 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:40.520 of our stories have shown is that the balance, like 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:44.839 the seesaw in a relationship, financial seesaw, Like we're doing better, 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.200 you know, financially where you and I are bringing in 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:50.280 more than our partners now, But like the what if 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:53.120 the balance shifts over time, and that very much can happen. 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.720 You know, someone can lose a job or or something 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:58.520 happens to knock that balance out of whack, and then 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:00.600 all of a sudden, you know, you may need to 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:04.560 support the other person financially or you know, carry more 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:08.920 of that financial responsibility. And I think couples should be 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:11.800 like I don't. I feel like each person should carry 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:15.720 the weight and responsibility of supporting the household. And and 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:19.000 I worry about a person going out there expecting to 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:22.199 find someone to take care of them financially without taking 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.040 care of their own financial house and making sure that 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:28.920 they have you know, employable skills and savings and have 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.120 their own like financial their own financial footing before they 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:34.640 go and pursue, you know, someone to just I think 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.640 you said kept earlier, and I hate that for kept woman, 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:41.120 like someone who's who's just gonna, yeah, gonna just bankroll 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:42.560 your life. That to me is a little bit more 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.880 challenging to to wrap my head around. 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:47.800 So I'll share kind of like what I guess from 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:52.400 like watching some of Anna's videos, it seems like and 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:54.920 there's a couple, like I said, Anna's white, but it 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:59.679 strikes me that when she shares her hypergamy thoughts, it's. 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.760 Yes, okay, and this is so great. And then there's 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:03.200 other people. 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.440 There's like a woman named Chrissy or something like that 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.520 that she does hypergamy. There's a couple other black women 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.200 online and it's like you gold digger, you whore you. 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:13.400 I'm like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. You know, So 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.000 that that kind of had a red because at first 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:16.520 I was like, I don't get it. I'm because you know, 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.480 I'm fiercely independent like you, Mandy. So I didn't get it, 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:21.880 but when I saw the difference, I said, well, let 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:26.040 me put aside my you know, bias about like what 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:28.640 I want for me and to see like what's really 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:33.280 going on here. So Banana shares it's not and this 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:36.640 is her thinking that what she brings to the table 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:41.920 is beauty, youth, the ability to take care of home children, 0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:45.360 to be a hostess like that. I'm not bringing maybe 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.000 financials to the table, but I'm taking care of you 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:51.400 in totality, so in exchange for that, you take care 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:55.080 of me. It just looks different, right, And so you know, 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:56.920 I'm not saying I agree or disagree. I'm just sharing 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.720 that that's like the that's the thinking and that like 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:03.640 she does a lot of like like classes or culture. 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:05.679 Even her YouTube videos of most those are all free. 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.800 But it's like things to where to attract a rich man, 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:09.679 were rich men? 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:10.280 Vacation? 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.959 How to sit with class how and so you should 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.720 see the comments. It's just really interesting because you know, 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.079 there's been so much misindependent, you know, like but then 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.280 you read all these comments and it's just like, thank 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:24.959 you so much, Anna, thank you so much, Anna, Thank 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:25.319 you so much. 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:25.520 Anna. 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:27.360 And I'm like, oh wow, there's just a lot of 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:31.080 women who connect with that message. But like I said, 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.120 there are black YouTube accounts that talk about hypergamy, but 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:38.520 they definitely get attacked more but more so, it seems 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:44.640 like the black YouTubers to talk about hypergamy. It's less 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.160 about necessarily like the man is going to take care 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:51.920 of you or whoever, but more so because we all 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.400 know that, you know, black women, I mean, I'm just 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:58.319 making more than men on average. More so finding someone 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:03.120 who matches or at least semi surpasses what you're doing. 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:07.840 So less about being taken care of and more about like, 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:11.840 well I make six figures, do you? And although not 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:13.720 to say that there isn't some like you know some 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:15.520 of that in the and a messaging which is like 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:16.959 you know, I will take care of the children, I 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:17.840 will take care of the home. 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:19.880 It's thinking about like leave it to beaver. 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.880 That's the thinking that like, as the woman and the wife, 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:26.520 I am here to make sure that your needs are 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:30.120 taken care of in the bedroom, in the kitchen, with 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:30.720 the kids. 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:31.720 I do all of that. 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:34.280 But in exchange for that, you make sure that we 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:36.400 don't have to worry about where we're going to sleep, 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:39.000 what we're gonna eat, and not to say necessarily going 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:40.640 to be living in the lap of luxury, but that 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:42.560 I am taking care of I don't have to worry 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.480 about those things. And so it's just really interesting because there's, 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:49.560 you know, there's some visceral reactions. I guess the reason 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.120 why it struck me, and I'd love to hear you know, Brownavisson, 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:56.680 your listeners, like your thought process. What to me, what 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.960 bothers me about hypergamy is not the hypergamy itself. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.480 It's like, girl, sister, do whatever you want to do. 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:05.360 I don't like the double standards for black women and 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.520 brown women compared to like if someone else another race, 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:12.080 specifically white women, when their hypergama is it's like, oh, yes, 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.840 of course, Sarah went to Princeton so she can find 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:16.800 her a Princeton man who works. 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:20.280 For But like Tanisha, look at this hole. She trying 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:21.080 to come up like you. 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.600 Know what I mean, Like, oh, well, what do you 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.120 think it is? I mean, my I'm trying to think 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:28.920 for you know, why are women or was that I said? 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:31.640 Racism? Oh? 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.120 But is the is the But honestly, though, do you 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.200 feel like black and brow women who are into this 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:41.040 concept of hypergamy are being attacked by other black and 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.960 brown women or is it like white women who are 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:47.640 attacking them, because I wouldn't be surprised if because I 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:51.600 don't know this, this like it reminds me of, uh, 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.240 it reminds me of like that old you know, trope 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:58.160 of an angry black woman who who doesn't want to 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:01.400 you know, who who is is hard for a black 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:05.120 man to be with, and that stereotype that black women, 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.000 you know, expect too much and all they care about 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:11.960 is money and just yeah, having someone to provide for them, 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:14.200 and like that is kind of what makes me feel 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:16.600 uncomfortable about it, because you know, I don't think that's 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:20.080 very fair. I think as a black woman, if you 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:23.200 are looking for partnership, you should you should feel shameless 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:26.840 about pursuing a relationship and looking for someone who is 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.359 financially secure or at least on a path toward financial security. 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.760 And if you have additional responsibilities, like if you got kids, 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:36.360 or you you're a small business owner and you're in 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:39.120 your income is a little not secure at the time. 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:41.720 I don't blame you for a second for not wasting 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:46.080 time with a potential mate who may not be you know, 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.640 on their own path toward financial security or able to 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:50.880 back you up, you know, while you're while you're building 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:52.520 your thing. I think that's just a partnership. 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.480 So it's funny because like in the black hYP hypergammy world, 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:58.280 they call those men who are not able to take 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.640 care of themselves or whatever the dusties. So like, girl, 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:05.199 do not waste her time with that dusty. I'm not 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:06.520 gonna lie get a little giggle. 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:09.040 Out of that. I'm glad I did not know about 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:09.720 this whole debate. 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:14.440 I just like, I'm not gonna lie I get into 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:17.119 so much, like cause I you know, sometimes i have 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:19.240 a hard time, like going to sleep, and I'm just like, oh, 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:21.600 I'll just like like I'll turn on like you know, 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:23.680 I go to YouTube and YouTube will suggest a video, 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:26.080 and I remember I was like, what's this like School 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:28.439 of Affluence? And honestly, the reason why I clicked on 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.560 School of Affluence is because I thought she was teaching 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:31.400 you like how to. 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:32.199 Like make money, you know. 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:34.399 Yeah, And so I'm watching it, I'm like, wait, I 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:37.119 don't get it. So a lot of it is about 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:40.679 women being softer and pinker, even for black women like 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.920 how to be softer, so let the man be a man, 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:46.880 and like, you know, it doesn't resonate with me because 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:50.959 I'm just like you know, I'm rock hard, but like 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:53.960 let the man be a man and you know, and 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.840 like I don't know, like like I said, it's foreign 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.880 to me because well, you know, it's so crazy because 0:17:59.880 --> 0:18:02.080 it's it's not really foreign to me because I'm Nigerian 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:07.199 and I'm not gonna lie that hypergamy is something that 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:11.080 is practiced traditionally in my culture. That will one that 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:13.639 women are expected to be subservient in some ways like 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:18.439 old school ways to their husbands, but husbands are expected 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:22.240 to be financial providers, like literally when they don't do 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:25.359 this much anymore because it's like so like to me, 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:28.159 it's just crazy. Like but if you if I was 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:29.840 living in the village to say, like you know, fifty 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:32.240 years ago and a man wanted to marry me, he 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.639 would have to come to my father ask for my 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:37.200 hand and he would have to give a dowry basically 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:38.320 buying you, but. 0:18:38.320 --> 0:18:38.920 You mayn't give. 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:41.360 I've been to a Nigerian wedding and the part where 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:43.439 they bring out no the day one I forget if 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:44.720 it was a two day thing or if they did 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:47.320 did the Nigerian wedding first and then the American one. 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:49.199 But yeah, when they had to, I mean she was 0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:52.600 sitting on just a throne of presents, a presus. 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:53.960 Yes. 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:57.760 I was like, that is great, that's hypergamy. That was 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:00.480 like the man saying, look at my wealth. I am 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:03.880 able to take care of your daughter and any off 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:04.960 break spring that may come. 0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:05.520 So you see. 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:07.800 So it's like, even though I'm saying like it's foreign 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:11.240 to me, it's really not. Because that's why I'm not 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.600 gonna lie. When I brought Durell home, my parents were like, 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:20.400 I don't understand what's happening. They were like, because Nigeria's 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:23.480 actually encourage you oftentimes to marry older men, not like 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:26.400 way older, but like somebody more established. I'll say that. 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:29.560 You know, so you're twenty and maybe he's thirty. Like 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.479 my father is eleven years older than my mother, so 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:35.600 he was more established. So it's not actually foreign to me. 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.400 It's just not. But it's so odd because as much 0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:41.080 as that's part of my culture, Like, and my father 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:44.840 is actually pretty traditional Nigerian man. He really raised us 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:48.640 to be fiercely independent, and he said, I want that 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.199 when you do marry, if you decide to marry, that 0:19:51.359 --> 0:19:54.880 you are there not because you need someone to financially 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:56.760 support you, but because this is the person you want 0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:59.480 to be with. So it was odd and how traditional 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:01.320 he is. But then when it came to his daughters, 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:04.080 he was like a second thought, you know what, I 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:06.280 need you guys to have it together because what's not 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:09.359 gonna happen. And I suspect it's because I didn't have 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:11.960 any brothers. So traditionally, what you would do is that 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:15.159 your brothers would be financially responsible for you if your 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:18.159 father's not here, and then you know, then pass on 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:20.560 that responsibility to your husband. But there were no brothers, 0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:22.920 so my fathers was like, well, you're gonna have to 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:26.280 be the brothers for yourself. But yeah, I just thought 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.800 that was interesting because there's this guy named Kevin Samuels. 0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:33.119 I know you're probably like, who girl, If you're in 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:34.520 a good mood, I probably wouldn't. 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:37.120 Watch it the heavy sigh. 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:40.800 Because Kevin Samuels is a quote unquote relationship guru. 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:42.520 I can't even give him that. 0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:45.520 Basically, he brates black women and it's terrible to watch 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:49.200 it's gotten very popular. I don't know why. It's almost 0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:51.240 like hate watching. I don't know if that's what people 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:54.719 are doing. So anyway, women come on to say, hey, Kevin, 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:56.800 you know, I don't know why I haven't found a 0:20:56.800 --> 0:20:57.200 mate yet. 0:20:57.200 --> 0:20:58.399 And it's mostly black women. 0:20:58.600 --> 0:21:01.520 And he basically tells you like he'll ask him one, well, 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:02.359 what number do you think you are? 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:04.000 I think I'm a seven? You think you were seven? 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:06.399 You are four? This is what he's. 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:09.680 Saying on ID Live, but literally on average twenty thirty 0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:13.840 thousand people watching. And then she's like, well, I know 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:16.400 I don't think i'm before you are, for you're heavy set, right, 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:18.639 That's not a question, it's a fact. And then I'm like, 0:21:18.680 --> 0:21:21.200 oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, it's so terrible. 0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:22.119 Do you have children? 0:21:22.160 --> 0:21:22.320 Well? 0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:24.840 Who would want that you had a degree? Nobody cares 0:21:24.840 --> 0:21:25.199 about that. 0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:31.040 It is so bad, And I just oh, I just 0:21:31.080 --> 0:21:32.959 want to hug the women that he talks too crazy 0:21:33.040 --> 0:21:34.840 like that and ask them why are you taking this? 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:38.000 You know from him? If you're past thirty, too bad 0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:39.720 for you? You have a child, Oh, well, for you, don't 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:42.480 nobody want you? Like if you were to watched this 0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:46.000 man quote unquote council people. You would think that if 0:21:46.040 --> 0:21:48.480 you are a black woman over the age of thirty, 0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:50.200 god forbid you have a child, that you'll never find 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:52.680 a man. He calls it a man of high quality 0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:55.600 who's going to want you. And like he said that 0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:57.960 Beyonce's a seven. I'm like, this is how I knew that. 0:21:58.000 --> 0:21:59.080 He just feel himself. 0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:01.560 Can you imagine this raggedy old man because he's old, 0:22:01.960 --> 0:22:04.360 This raggedy old man talking about Beyonce's seven. 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:07.800 Pay Actually I'm looking at his instead, and I notice 0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:09.760 the only people I know we have in common who 0:22:09.760 --> 0:22:11.120 follow him are black men. 0:22:11.240 --> 0:22:13.119 So is that trouble? They love it? No, he's a 0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:15.720 black man loves me. He's like, oh, y'all, y'all. 0:22:15.960 --> 0:22:18.200 The black man in the comments will say, like, you know, oh, 0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:19.080 he's telling y'all the truth. 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:19.960 Y'all see y'all. 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:21.280 Don't want to hit the truth. I'm like, first of all, 0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:23.280 you're a dusty. You have nothing to bring to not 0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:25.040 all obviously all black men, because I love me and 0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:27.119 my black man. My father's black, my husband's black. But 0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:30.359 like the ones that in the comments like yeah, Tellor Taylor, 0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:34.600 I'm like bright, nobody wants you, sir, Yes, and so 0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:37.879 like it just it's it's to me, there's this like 0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:43.520 upswelling of conversation about black women and worth in partnership 0:22:43.720 --> 0:22:46.520 that it's like coming to them to the forefront more 0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:49.120 now than ever because of like this Kevin Samuel's guy, 0:22:49.320 --> 0:22:51.960 because of this hypergamy movement. And I'm just curious to 0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:53.879 see what our audience thinks and feels about it. Like 0:22:53.920 --> 0:22:57.480 you know, I I think this that you get to 0:22:57.520 --> 0:23:00.720 decide for you what it is that you want for you. 0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:02.560 You're not a child. Everyone gets to this side. If 0:23:02.560 --> 0:23:04.800 you want to hit a man makes three hundred thousand 0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:06.879 dollars a year, okay, Sis, if you want to if 0:23:06.880 --> 0:23:09.080 you want a man that's a scientist or whatever, Okay. 0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:11.760 I just feel like it is not for anyone to 0:23:11.840 --> 0:23:14.960 decide what you want for you. And just like yeah, 0:23:15.000 --> 0:23:17.159 I just because I knew what I wanted and I 0:23:17.240 --> 0:23:20.000 made it very clear, and that's what I married, you know, 0:23:20.280 --> 0:23:22.960 like I was like I wanted. I wasn't worried so 0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:24.520 much about the money park because I'm gonna lie, ever 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:26.200 since i've been little old people have been telling me 0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:27.679 I'm gonna be rich my whole life. So I was like, 0:23:27.720 --> 0:23:30.600 I'm good on that, But I wanted somebody I remember saying, 0:23:30.600 --> 0:23:35.240 who was intrinsically kind, because I know that sometimes I 0:23:35.280 --> 0:23:37.480 can get on somebody's nerves and I wanted someone who 0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:39.919 wasn't gonna snap, crackle and pop when I got on 0:23:39.960 --> 0:23:44.080 their nerves. And Superman his natural tendency is kindness. I 0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:47.080 wanted somebody who's really considerate, which he is. And I 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.560 really wanted something that I like to call a sureness 0:23:49.640 --> 0:23:52.960 of love, like even if we're you know, you know, 0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:55.160 not really feeling each other at this moment of time 0:23:55.200 --> 0:23:57.959 because maybe you know, maybe we had a disagreement or whatever, 0:23:58.160 --> 0:24:00.600 that there's one hundred thousand percent, no matter where I 0:24:00.680 --> 0:24:02.880 go or where I am or what's happened, that I 0:24:02.960 --> 0:24:05.359 know one hundred thousand percent that you love me. And 0:24:05.400 --> 0:24:07.520 I have that with him, and so to me, everything 0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:10.320 else was like cherring on top of the cake. I 0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:13.040 had to get clear with myself what I needed, not 0:24:13.119 --> 0:24:16.760 just wanted, but what I needed in order to feel 0:24:16.880 --> 0:24:20.200 like I, you know, I was okay in marriage and partnership. 0:24:20.200 --> 0:24:21.840 And I think that every woman has a right to 0:24:21.840 --> 0:24:24.119 decide that, well, every person really has a right to 0:24:24.119 --> 0:24:25.080 decide that for themselves. 0:24:25.119 --> 0:24:27.480 But yeah, girl, dig down the Road watch one of 0:24:27.520 --> 0:24:28.000 those videos. 0:24:28.040 --> 0:24:29.639 You're going to cringe, But I think it's important for 0:24:29.680 --> 0:24:32.120 you to see, like how hard it is out here 0:24:32.119 --> 0:24:35.120 for black and brown women, how people basically tell them 0:24:35.119 --> 0:24:37.800 you ain't ish and some of them are starting to 0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:40.960 believe it because of men like Kevin Samuels, because people 0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:42.760 tell them that they don't deserve to level up or 0:24:42.800 --> 0:24:45.520 marry up. And I just think that, like, you know, 0:24:45.760 --> 0:24:47.680 like although it might not be for me, I don't 0:24:47.720 --> 0:24:49.879 know necessarily think that I'm here to judge that you 0:24:49.880 --> 0:24:52.520 know that you shouldn't you shouldn't go for what you want. 0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:54.879 I mean, I think this is the last moment in 0:24:54.960 --> 0:24:57.560 history when we need to be finding reasons to not 0:24:58.520 --> 0:25:02.120 lift up and instances of black love when we can, 0:25:02.480 --> 0:25:05.480 and not just black love, but couples who are who 0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:09.840 are on the on the same path financially like and 0:25:09.880 --> 0:25:12.480 I think that's why, you know, people like our Rich 0:25:12.520 --> 0:25:16.440 Journey Christina and Iman, and then even even the who's 0:25:16.480 --> 0:25:20.840 the other the the couple the personal finance bloggers is 0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:24.040 a Tay and Tallet. I forget their names, yes, but 0:25:24.119 --> 0:25:27.840 they're amazing, and I feel like just just seeing just 0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:30.520 seeing two you know, people in a relationship. And I 0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:33.280 know these are both heterosexual examples, but any at any 0:25:33.359 --> 0:25:37.040 rate in this in this country is damn hard enough 0:25:37.080 --> 0:25:40.119 to be a single black woman or a black man, 0:25:40.200 --> 0:25:42.520 or a black person in general making it. And I 0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:45.600 think we need to support one another. And there's something 0:25:45.640 --> 0:25:49.560 really beautiful to me about coming together as partners and 0:25:49.840 --> 0:25:53.359 helping each other level up financially and that you know, 0:25:53.480 --> 0:25:56.080 I that those are the stories I like to to hear. 0:25:56.160 --> 0:25:57.760 And I love when we get those questions from our 0:25:57.760 --> 0:25:59.680 listeners who are like, yeah, I mean my husband, we're 0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:02.240 you know, we're working on paying off his debt or 0:26:02.400 --> 0:26:04.320 my dead and we're doing it together. I think that's 0:26:04.320 --> 0:26:07.200 the path to success. So yeah, I mean, you may 0:26:07.240 --> 0:26:09.040 find if you're looking for someone at a certain price 0:26:09.080 --> 0:26:11.520 point that they don't have those you know, those soft 0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:16.360 skills as we say, like how it'd be nice money. Yeah, 0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:21.400 the soft skills that you can't really teach it a partner, communication, kindness, empathy, 0:26:21.480 --> 0:26:24.080 all that kind of stuff. So I think, but some 0:26:24.119 --> 0:26:26.040 people need to go on their own journey and find 0:26:26.040 --> 0:26:28.480 out what they what they value and why they move value. 0:26:28.480 --> 0:26:31.040 Would and you know, I would let's let's I feel 0:26:31.040 --> 0:26:33.360 like we should, uh, they should do like a revisit 0:26:33.400 --> 0:26:36.560 of people who went on the hypergamy track. Am I saying? 0:26:36.760 --> 0:26:37.000 Right? 0:26:37.200 --> 0:26:41.920 Yeah, you let's see flow up in five years right now, 0:26:42.119 --> 0:26:45.639 like ninety day fiance after the ninety day. 0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:46.800 Now and honestly, be a listeners. 0:26:46.840 --> 0:26:50.080 If you practice hypergamy and you're super happy that you did, 0:26:50.119 --> 0:26:53.000 you've been married or with the partnership, share with us. 0:26:53.280 --> 0:26:56.879 If you practice hypergammy and you're like, girl, why we 0:26:56.920 --> 0:26:58.640 would like to hear that too. Honestly, I think that 0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:01.520 that would be like, you know, I message us, tweet us, 0:27:01.640 --> 0:27:06.080 you know, at the BA podcast on what's called it Twitter, 0:27:06.280 --> 0:27:09.880 because I'm just really curious about like what how our 0:27:09.880 --> 0:27:11.760 listeners navigate and just what they think about that. 0:27:12.800 --> 0:27:14.119 Yeah, so that was it. 0:27:14.160 --> 0:27:15.480 I just thought that was interesting because I was like, 0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:17.399 oh wait, I tell man, I'm telling you Mandy, like, 0:27:17.400 --> 0:27:18.639 don't do when you're in a good mood. Well, I 0:27:18.640 --> 0:27:21.040 don't know if he's doing a bad mood, but Kevin Samuels, 0:27:21.040 --> 0:27:22.760 You're gonna be like what. I Sometimes I want to 0:27:22.760 --> 0:27:24.399 get a comments and be like yeah, no what, But 0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:25.480 I'm like Tiffany. 0:27:25.320 --> 0:27:28.760 Girl, I'm disturbed by the amount of people who follow him, 0:27:28.800 --> 0:27:29.200 But I. 0:27:29.160 --> 0:27:33.760 Mean, what should disturb you even more is that literally 0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:36.800 five times the amount of people that follow him actually 0:27:36.840 --> 0:27:38.919 watch at a time, meaning like I don't know how 0:27:38.960 --> 0:27:41.800 many followers he has, but you'll why. 0:27:41.560 --> 0:27:43.920 And you'll look and you say, wait, how many people 0:27:43.960 --> 0:27:44.280 are alive? 0:27:44.280 --> 0:27:48.320 Because I stumbled across him because on the top sometimes 0:27:48.320 --> 0:27:51.080 they have like suggested lives, and I was like, what's this? 0:27:51.240 --> 0:27:53.800 Why are so many people on here? I was like, wait, 0:27:53.920 --> 0:27:56.919 is this real? Wait what you know? 0:27:57.040 --> 0:27:59.080 And I was gonna say whose name I love? 0:27:59.359 --> 0:28:03.639 Yeah? So she is like a B A yeah, b 0:28:03.760 --> 0:28:09.640 A y. She is school of affluence. And Kevin Samuel's like. 0:28:10.040 --> 0:28:11.639 Don't follow him, but we're gonna go k. 0:28:11.760 --> 0:28:14.240 We're gonna yeah, go lurk, go work. And look what 0:28:14.280 --> 0:28:16.320 he does. Look at this picture. You see this woman 0:28:16.359 --> 0:28:18.000 how they how he has her face? You see that? 0:28:18.560 --> 0:28:21.880 No, like the second the second picture with a black 0:28:21.920 --> 0:28:24.520 woman with the striped shirt. That's the type of shame, 0:28:24.680 --> 0:28:27.119 like he you see what I mean? Like, huh he 0:28:27.240 --> 0:28:29.879 always but lookout he has displayed the white women below, 0:28:30.080 --> 0:28:34.960 the white woman with the with the with the white hair. Yes, 0:28:35.000 --> 0:28:36.760 he Someone was like if you hate black women, just 0:28:36.800 --> 0:28:40.440 say so, Kevin, who hurts you? Because the way he 0:28:40.520 --> 0:28:43.440 goes at black women, the way he drags them down, 0:28:43.640 --> 0:28:46.520 he is he should be ashamed of himself because I 0:28:46.560 --> 0:28:49.200 know your grandmother's black, I know your great great great grandmother, 0:28:49.360 --> 0:28:51.560 and I know your mother black like I just like 0:28:52.000 --> 0:28:55.360 why so? And the fact that people watch and listen 0:28:55.760 --> 0:28:58.760 and decide and say yes, you know like I am. 0:28:59.800 --> 0:29:01.520 You know I deserve to be talked to that way. 0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:04.200 Yeah, well that's why you guys come to brown ambition. 0:29:04.360 --> 0:29:07.120 We don't talk to you though. This is a safe space, 0:29:07.360 --> 0:29:11.200 all right. Hypergamy, all right, dope, And if you guys 0:29:11.240 --> 0:29:14.320 follow anyone else who has written or talked or I 0:29:14.360 --> 0:29:17.200 don't know, especially I love how you say practice hypergamy 0:29:17.240 --> 0:29:20.840 like it's a religion or something. But then we're way. 0:29:20.920 --> 0:29:22.760 We'd love to feel bad because we don't have any 0:29:22.840 --> 0:29:25.480 Like I don't know any black women hypergamy accounts, but 0:29:25.480 --> 0:29:27.440 I know they exist for yees, send them, like, tag 0:29:27.520 --> 0:29:29.400 me in them because I would love to be able 0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:30.040 to share those. 0:29:29.880 --> 0:29:31.920 Accounts in case you guys are interested in learning more. 0:29:32.560 --> 0:29:35.800 Okay, dope, all right, Well let's take a quick quick 0:29:35.800 --> 0:29:37.600 break and then We're gonna come back and talk about 0:29:37.600 --> 0:29:38.360 those stemmys. 0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:39.200 Simmy. 0:29:39.960 --> 0:29:42.680 Stimmy started hitting bank accounts this weekend. But we'll talk 0:29:42.680 --> 0:29:44.800 about even more than that. Just what is in this 0:29:44.840 --> 0:29:48.080 one point nine trillion dollar gift of a piece of 0:29:48.200 --> 0:30:23.360 legislation that just passed last week? Be right back, all right, 0:30:23.520 --> 0:30:28.360 we are back in black and brown and Stimmy's. I 0:30:28.440 --> 0:30:31.440 finally started saying Stimmy's because like, I'm cool, you know 0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:34.960 what I mean? Uh, Twitter was all it was hilarious. 0:30:34.960 --> 0:30:37.600 So the bill only passed. What is today's March fifteenth. 0:30:37.600 --> 0:30:40.480 We're recording on Monday. The bill only Biden signed this 0:30:40.560 --> 0:30:43.880 into legislation, like Thursday into law. Sorry, and Thursday, that's 0:30:43.880 --> 0:30:46.880 only a few days ago. But already this weekend he 0:30:47.320 --> 0:30:50.520 got the expedited shipping for those direct deposits. Because already 0:30:50.520 --> 0:30:54.040 this weekend Twitter was a buzz and it looks like 0:30:54.080 --> 0:30:57.160 a lot of people are already getting their fourteen dollars 0:30:57.240 --> 0:31:00.640 checks if they qualified. So if you've got a wind 0:31:00.960 --> 0:31:03.320 if you've got a windfall in your bake account, over 0:31:03.320 --> 0:31:08.880 the hold something, Let me hold something, now, well, what 0:31:09.040 --> 0:31:11.320 do you actually We ran a survey at ally to 0:31:11.400 --> 0:31:13.640 kind of ask folks how they would be spending their 0:31:13.640 --> 0:31:15.680 stimulus and would they be saving it? And this is 0:31:15.760 --> 0:31:18.080 only it's really sad. This is the only third This 0:31:18.160 --> 0:31:20.120 is the third time we have been given or a 0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:22.960 lot of people have been given stimulus checks like this, 0:31:23.480 --> 0:31:25.800 and it seems in just from this little survey that 0:31:25.840 --> 0:31:28.800 we did, still people are holding on to the money, 0:31:28.880 --> 0:31:31.360 like we're gonna save this, maybe we'll pay off debt, 0:31:31.400 --> 0:31:34.480 but saving is probably the biggest plans that people have 0:31:34.600 --> 0:31:37.400 for this extra windfall. Tiff Like, what do you what 0:31:37.400 --> 0:31:38.800 do you say to people, because that's one of the 0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:41.200 questions we're gonna get to y'all's questions about the package, 0:31:41.240 --> 0:31:44.360 But several people asked, you know, what would you say, 0:31:44.560 --> 0:31:47.320 I should do it it? Save it, invest it, use 0:31:47.320 --> 0:31:49.280 it to pay down debt. How do you And it's 0:31:49.320 --> 0:31:52.640 not one hundred million dollars, it's fourteen hundred so there's 0:31:52.640 --> 0:31:54.959 only limited amount of time things you can do with it. 0:31:55.040 --> 0:31:57.360 So what's your take, Tiffany on that question? 0:31:57.840 --> 0:31:59.719 Well, I always think first and foremost you should look 0:31:59.720 --> 0:32:02.760 at like the greatest need right now, right So saving 0:32:02.800 --> 0:32:04.840 would be great, Investing it would be great. But if 0:32:04.880 --> 0:32:07.320 there's no food in the house, you need to buy food, 0:32:07.520 --> 0:32:09.720 If there is a bill that you need to pay 0:32:10.240 --> 0:32:14.120 that it's going to put your family in jeopardy with 0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:15.840 your health and their safety, you want to take care 0:32:15.880 --> 0:32:18.560 of those. So I always say, first and foremost, take 0:32:18.600 --> 0:32:22.160 care of your health and safety expenses. So that's like food, shelter, clothing, water, 0:32:22.320 --> 0:32:25.240 like you know those things. And if there's money left 0:32:25.280 --> 0:32:28.320 over from those things and you might be behind on something, 0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:29.880 then you can take care of something that you might 0:32:29.920 --> 0:32:33.360 be behind on. And then if there's still money left over, 0:32:33.480 --> 0:32:34.800 if you take care of some of the things that 0:32:34.800 --> 0:32:37.440 you're behind on, you know, if you want to start 0:32:37.480 --> 0:32:40.880 putting some aside. I wouldn't be aggressive of paying down debt. 0:32:40.920 --> 0:32:44.160 I'd be more aggressive with savings because now more than ever, 0:32:44.960 --> 0:32:47.360 we saw that like even if you're someone who was, 0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:49.320 like I had one year's worth the savings, well we're 0:32:49.320 --> 0:32:51.720 a year in and if you still didn't have income, 0:32:52.200 --> 0:32:53.920 you could be in some real trouble right now. So 0:32:54.160 --> 0:32:55.760 I would put some toward debt, but i'd be more 0:32:55.800 --> 0:32:58.800 aggressive towards savings. But first and foremost, health and safety 0:32:58.840 --> 0:33:01.680 expenses first and foremost. And if you're someone who was 0:33:01.720 --> 0:33:05.520 fine across the board, maybe you're in a field in 0:33:05.560 --> 0:33:08.400 an industry that didn't see you know nothing, you know, 0:33:08.760 --> 0:33:12.160 the industry actually grew or whatever. You're doing fine, then yes, 0:33:12.280 --> 0:33:14.800 you have your your bills are paid, you're not behind 0:33:14.920 --> 0:33:17.720 your you know you your debt is being properly managed, 0:33:17.720 --> 0:33:19.960 and certainly you can look into investing. If you're in 0:33:20.000 --> 0:33:22.720 that position and you're and your your savings account is 0:33:22.720 --> 0:33:25.560 fully funded, then yes you can look into investing that money. 0:33:25.600 --> 0:33:27.920 I know some people are like, invest right away because 0:33:27.920 --> 0:33:31.520 the market, but I'm like, you know, there's risk with investment, 0:33:31.880 --> 0:33:34.840 with investing, and sure, like you know, things turned out 0:33:34.840 --> 0:33:37.040 great for so many people, but there's just no way 0:33:37.040 --> 0:33:38.840 to know for sure. So you never want to invest 0:33:38.880 --> 0:33:41.040 money that you can't stand to lose. 0:33:41.440 --> 0:33:45.240 Exactly one hundred percent. So here's a question from Instagram. 0:33:45.320 --> 0:33:48.760 I had posted over the weekend, just some facts about 0:33:48.840 --> 0:33:53.680 the relief package, and Instagram listener DJ said, how do 0:33:54.040 --> 0:33:58.440 college students or dependents get the stimulus check? And that's 0:33:58.560 --> 0:34:02.640 one unique thing about this particular stimulus payment is that 0:34:03.000 --> 0:34:05.320 for the first time, you know, in the past, if 0:34:05.360 --> 0:34:08.000 you were a college student or a dependent, you actually 0:34:08.040 --> 0:34:11.239 didn't qualify for your own check. But this most recent bill, 0:34:11.400 --> 0:34:14.240 if you are over age seventeen, but you're still claimed 0:34:14.239 --> 0:34:16.920 as a dependent. That could be a lot of college students. 0:34:17.280 --> 0:34:20.520 You can qualify for your own stimulus check, and as 0:34:20.560 --> 0:34:23.640 far as like how you get the stimulus check, filing 0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:26.640 taxes is the easiest way that I can There's no 0:34:26.760 --> 0:34:28.520 like sign up, you know, I think people are waiting 0:34:28.560 --> 0:34:30.799 to like get some alert or get a piece of 0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:32.520 mail that says, do you want to sign up to 0:34:32.560 --> 0:34:35.239 get your direct payment? The best thing you can do 0:34:35.360 --> 0:34:37.799 is file your taxes at least for twenty nineteen. If 0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:40.160 you've already done it for twenty twenty, great, so that 0:34:40.239 --> 0:34:42.919 the IRS knows where to find you, they know who 0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:45.360 your dependents are, they know how much you earn. Because 0:34:45.840 --> 0:34:48.600 you know, there are income caps on who qualifies for 0:34:48.640 --> 0:34:51.960 the payment. Not everybody qualifies. So yeah, if you're in 0:34:52.000 --> 0:34:55.680 college in DJ, if you're wondering how you can get 0:34:55.719 --> 0:34:59.279 that check or direct payment, yeah, filing your taxes is 0:34:59.320 --> 0:35:01.400 probably the the easiest way to do it. 0:35:02.200 --> 0:35:05.000 Yeah. No, I think, yeah, that's good because I know 0:35:05.040 --> 0:35:06.840 there was a lot of college students that were like, 0:35:06.880 --> 0:35:09.400 that's not fair, like how do I you know, basically, 0:35:09.440 --> 0:35:11.520 I'm like, well, you before it was like you're gonna 0:35:11.520 --> 0:35:13.040 have to go to your parent and ask them to 0:35:14.160 --> 0:35:17.799 they've done their taxes to amend them so you could 0:35:17.800 --> 0:35:20.399 be independent and follow on your own, like sis, mom 0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:20.920 ain't doing that. 0:35:21.000 --> 0:35:24.840 Mom Duke's is. She's not doing that, Like you. 0:35:24.760 --> 0:35:26.920 Are dependent on her. She's going to use that money 0:35:26.960 --> 0:35:29.719 to continue to take care of you. But so it's 0:35:29.760 --> 0:35:31.640 good to know because there are some college students, although 0:35:31.640 --> 0:35:33.719 they are technically dependent on their parents, they you know, 0:35:33.760 --> 0:35:35.080 they really do take care of a lot of their 0:35:35.120 --> 0:35:37.120 own financial responsibilities. 0:35:37.120 --> 0:35:37.719 So that's good. 0:35:38.160 --> 0:35:41.840 Yeah, well here's another question. Let me see, I can't 0:35:41.880 --> 0:35:45.279 really decide what her we'll call her Drea because there's 0:35:45.320 --> 0:35:47.439 a lot of letters in her Instagram handle. I don't 0:35:47.480 --> 0:35:50.400 know what they add up to be Drea. Drea said, 0:35:50.440 --> 0:35:52.960 So should she ask? Should I take the fourteen hundred 0:35:52.960 --> 0:35:56.680 dollars and open up a UGMA account for my child? 0:35:56.719 --> 0:36:00.680 She's eighteen months So UGMA account we actually don't talk 0:36:00.719 --> 0:36:04.400 about very much, but it's the Uniform Gift to Minor 0:36:04.560 --> 0:36:08.080 account and they basically allow parents to save money and 0:36:08.120 --> 0:36:12.880 invest and maintain full custodial control over the account until 0:36:13.239 --> 0:36:16.840 the child is an adult. So it's another way of Yeah, 0:36:17.280 --> 0:36:20.120 the same way we talk about custodial savings accounts and 0:36:20.600 --> 0:36:22.880 a five two nine college plan, it's another option. 0:36:23.520 --> 0:36:26.160 What's the difference between like a UGMA and just a 0:36:26.200 --> 0:36:27.400 regular custodia account? 0:36:28.040 --> 0:36:31.200 Yeah, so I think it's the difference is how it applies, 0:36:31.320 --> 0:36:33.919 like in terms of taxes or not taxes. When you 0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:36.640 know how you can apply for financial aid and then 0:36:36.719 --> 0:36:40.040 depending on you know, how many how much assets you 0:36:40.080 --> 0:36:42.879 have as a parent, like that'll impact your financial aid 0:36:42.920 --> 0:36:46.360 ability or capability. That could be one way. 0:36:46.640 --> 0:36:48.680 But let me I see that it's a type of 0:36:48.719 --> 0:36:50.960 custodial account. I guess I'm trying to get like a 0:36:51.040 --> 0:36:53.799 like you know, like, I'm like, well, what makes it why? 0:36:54.520 --> 0:36:56.520 Well, the big difference is that you don't have to 0:36:56.640 --> 0:37:00.960 use the UGMA account money for education expenses like a 0:37:00.960 --> 0:37:02.879 five to two nine plan. So with a five two 0:37:02.960 --> 0:37:05.320 nine you actually have to You can invest the money 0:37:05.560 --> 0:37:07.880 the same as a UGMA account, but you have to 0:37:08.000 --> 0:37:11.160 use it for education expenses or else you have to 0:37:11.160 --> 0:37:14.680 face a tax penalty. So with a UGMA account, it 0:37:14.719 --> 0:37:18.600 may just be like a way to save money, but 0:37:18.760 --> 0:37:21.000 to do it without you know, like what if they 0:37:21.040 --> 0:37:22.759 don't go to college, then at least you know you 0:37:22.760 --> 0:37:23.799 can pass on the money too. 0:37:24.120 --> 0:37:26.440 Well, that's why I like custodial accounts, because you don't. 0:37:26.480 --> 0:37:28.200 I've done that for all the like the kids in 0:37:28.239 --> 0:37:30.440 my and like the little ones in my life, like 0:37:30.920 --> 0:37:32.920 my nieces and my nephew. Because I didn't want to 0:37:32.920 --> 0:37:34.279 get a five to two nine plan because I don't 0:37:34.280 --> 0:37:37.160 know what college is fit to be roman he's five, 0:37:37.200 --> 0:37:38.000 who knows what it's. 0:37:37.840 --> 0:37:38.320 Going to look like. 0:37:38.360 --> 0:37:40.680 So I got a custodial account so that way, it's 0:37:40.719 --> 0:37:42.680 not a five twenty nine plan, so it doesn't have to. 0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:43.840 Be used for education. 0:37:44.000 --> 0:37:45.520 And it looks like this is I don't know if 0:37:45.520 --> 0:37:47.600 this is the same, but it's certainly something. I'm going 0:37:47.680 --> 0:37:49.239 to reach out to Angelia and ask girl like, oh, 0:37:49.280 --> 0:37:52.239 we don't have a your gma girl, because apparently the 0:37:52.360 --> 0:37:55.919 earnings are not tax sheltered, but they're taxed at the 0:37:55.960 --> 0:37:59.080 miner's lower kitty tax rate up to a certain amount. 0:37:59.080 --> 0:38:00.920 So I wonder if that's the different, But certainly I 0:38:00.960 --> 0:38:02.640 would love I want to reach out to be like, 0:38:02.680 --> 0:38:05.279 so what because it looks like it's a type of 0:38:05.320 --> 0:38:07.880 custodial But I wonder she might say, girl, you have 0:38:07.920 --> 0:38:11.520 a UGMA. He probably will say that, like, ah, okay, 0:38:11.640 --> 0:38:14.560 that's good because I just always call them custodial accounts, 0:38:14.760 --> 0:38:16.040 so that's just good to note. 0:38:16.480 --> 0:38:18.640 But yeah, no, I think so too, And we get 0:38:18.840 --> 0:38:21.279 like we've this is the not the first question we've 0:38:21.280 --> 0:38:24.080 gotten recently about a UGMA account. So I feel like 0:38:24.080 --> 0:38:26.319 people are starting to learn more about them, and I 0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:27.879 feel like we have. We could do a whole show 0:38:27.920 --> 0:38:30.279 on how to save for your children in all the 0:38:30.320 --> 0:38:32.920 different ways, because I get I get tangled up in 0:38:32.960 --> 0:38:35.799 it too as a parent. You know, obviously I just 0:38:35.840 --> 0:38:38.720 goofed up and talked about a custodial era for my baby, 0:38:38.719 --> 0:38:40.640 which I can't do because you have to earn an income. 0:38:40.960 --> 0:38:44.480 But then there's, yeah, there's UGMA, and there's custodial savings accounts, 0:38:44.520 --> 0:38:47.160 and that's five two nine. We have a five two 0:38:47.239 --> 0:38:49.920 nine for him. But and I forget which one, you know, 0:38:50.160 --> 0:38:53.200 which one is gonna be less favorable to him when 0:38:53.200 --> 0:38:55.680 it comes to financial aid later on? And you know, 0:38:55.760 --> 0:38:58.160 because the thing is, some of these accounts, like when 0:38:58.200 --> 0:39:02.279 you apply for financial aid, some count as parental assets 0:39:02.280 --> 0:39:05.600 and some count as the child's assets. And either way, 0:39:05.840 --> 0:39:08.560 you know that whole that a really important what is 0:39:08.600 --> 0:39:12.319 it family contribution? That the that the FASTPA kind of 0:39:12.360 --> 0:39:15.120 figures out how much your family can contribute that can 0:39:15.160 --> 0:39:18.680 be impacted by saving an advance for your children. So 0:39:19.080 --> 0:39:21.480 I'm going to table that because I'm going to reach 0:39:21.520 --> 0:39:22.960 out to Helen see if she wants to come on, 0:39:23.360 --> 0:39:25.680 or even Angulie and see or maybe TIF you know 0:39:25.719 --> 0:39:29.200 someone who's like an expert in saving for children. But yeah, 0:39:29.200 --> 0:39:31.120 thanks for that question, Drea. 0:39:31.880 --> 0:39:33.919 Yes, so if you should you put your money in there, 0:39:34.960 --> 0:39:38.520 if everything else is straight, like you're not behind you, 0:39:38.520 --> 0:39:41.200 you know that you you your your savings is funded. 0:39:41.719 --> 0:39:42.560 I would consider this. 0:39:42.600 --> 0:39:45.800 I mean, I know it sounds like crazy sometimes to parents, 0:39:46.400 --> 0:39:50.080 but I would consider have you maxed out or do 0:39:50.120 --> 0:39:53.560 you normally max out your own tax advantage retirement account? 0:39:53.719 --> 0:39:56.440 I actually I would rather parents do that because let 0:39:56.480 --> 0:39:59.040 me tell you something, as a grown person with parents 0:39:59.080 --> 0:40:01.800 thankfully who are still here, the greatest one of the 0:40:01.800 --> 0:40:06.080 greatest gifts you can give to your child is you 0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:10.560 not needing them financially when you get older, because typically 0:40:10.560 --> 0:40:13.080 by that time your child might have your own family, 0:40:13.719 --> 0:40:18.960 and so children have the opportunity to you know, grow up, 0:40:19.280 --> 0:40:21.680 work put aside money, all these other things, right, but 0:40:22.160 --> 0:40:24.399 you you know, you get to a certain age you're 0:40:24.480 --> 0:40:26.359 limited and how much more time you have to set 0:40:26.360 --> 0:40:30.080 aside for yourself. So I always tell parents that, like honestly, like, 0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:33.799 if it's between your retirement account and funding maybe one 0:40:33.920 --> 0:40:36.880 day a college fund, I say, put toward the retirement 0:40:37.160 --> 0:40:40.719 and then yes, definitely I wouldn't put nothing toward a 0:40:40.760 --> 0:40:45.320 college fund. But I feel like there's something about having 0:40:45.719 --> 0:40:47.719 like telling your kid like, no, me and you know. 0:40:47.719 --> 0:40:49.759 Me and your mother are fine. You don't have to worry, like, 0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:51.320 you know, take care of you and your two welcome. 0:40:52.040 --> 0:40:54.279 Hmm. That's my whole stance as a parent is like, 0:40:54.760 --> 0:40:57.760 if I can create financial security for myself, I'm actually 0:40:57.800 --> 0:41:00.160 giving you the benefit of not having a word worry 0:41:00.200 --> 0:41:03.680 about me. Go do your thing, chicken. So yeah, I 0:41:04.160 --> 0:41:06.560 toggle between those two sets of like I've talked about 0:41:06.560 --> 0:41:08.920 that in the show too, just kind of how as 0:41:08.960 --> 0:41:12.040 a parent I'm I'm fully I'm okay with being selfish 0:41:12.080 --> 0:41:15.759 and pouring into myself and my own financial security. And 0:41:16.400 --> 0:41:19.640 you know, obviously I think it's great to set aside 0:41:19.640 --> 0:41:22.959 money for kids, And I mean I want to give 0:41:23.360 --> 0:41:25.560 rio a financial safety net and if he have siblings 0:41:25.600 --> 0:41:28.400 in the future financial security of they're in their own right. 0:41:28.440 --> 0:41:30.640 But at the same time, I'm not going to jeopardize 0:41:31.160 --> 0:41:34.440 my happiness now if I can, like, if I can 0:41:34.480 --> 0:41:38.680 afford to, you know, pour into my financial my own 0:41:38.719 --> 0:41:41.439 financial security and my husband so that we can live 0:41:41.480 --> 0:41:44.279 a great and fruitful life and retirement and support our 0:41:44.360 --> 0:41:47.759 kids in some ways, but not. Yeah, I don't want to. 0:41:48.040 --> 0:41:51.880 I don't want to sacrifice everything because they're you know, 0:41:52.000 --> 0:41:55.200 they have time. Time is the most valuable, yes, financial 0:41:55.280 --> 0:41:57.440 asset at the end of the day. And certainly I 0:41:57.480 --> 0:42:00.160 think having two parents who you know, they're great, But 0:42:00.719 --> 0:42:03.359 I learned from them the value of knowing that mom 0:42:03.360 --> 0:42:06.200 and dad are going to be okay. So they may 0:42:06.239 --> 0:42:09.080 not appreciate that gift. They may really like the idea 0:42:09.120 --> 0:42:11.839 of having like a huge trust fund, but yeah, I'm 0:42:11.840 --> 0:42:14.719 with you, tef on giving them the knowledge that their 0:42:14.760 --> 0:42:18.239 parents are okay. Okay, all right, let's get back to 0:42:18.280 --> 0:42:23.360 these questions, all right. So Vernell Vernell asks on Instagram 0:42:23.560 --> 0:42:25.960 she wanted to know in relation to the child tax credit. 0:42:26.000 --> 0:42:28.600 This was a big, huge, sort of element of this 0:42:28.640 --> 0:42:31.360 most recent relief package was the child tax credit, and 0:42:31.400 --> 0:42:33.640 she wants to know. Does this mean that we're getting 0:42:33.640 --> 0:42:38.040 three hundred dollars a month per child if we qualify. Yeah, 0:42:38.080 --> 0:42:41.560 So the child tax credit already existed, right, so if 0:42:41.600 --> 0:42:45.280 you met certain income requirements, you could get two thousand 0:42:45.320 --> 0:42:48.720 dollars per child as a tax credit. With this new 0:42:48.920 --> 0:42:51.040 piece of legislation that Biden just signed into law a 0:42:51.040 --> 0:42:55.560 few days ago, it provides an additional boost financial boost 0:42:55.560 --> 0:42:57.120 in the form of a tax credit for people who 0:42:57.200 --> 0:43:00.200 have children. And let me get my notes up up 0:43:00.239 --> 0:43:02.160 and you can also check our Instagram and put together 0:43:02.200 --> 0:43:05.920 a little story. But basically, you're eligible for three hundred 0:43:05.920 --> 0:43:10.320 three thousand dollars for each child under ages six to seventeen, 0:43:10.360 --> 0:43:12.799 so between the ages of six to seventeen, and then 0:43:12.840 --> 0:43:15.880 you're eligible for three hundred three thousand, six hundred dollars 0:43:15.920 --> 0:43:18.839 for each child under age six. The way that they're 0:43:18.880 --> 0:43:22.319 doing this tax credit instead of you know, usually you 0:43:22.520 --> 0:43:25.200 do your taxes once a year and then if you qualify, 0:43:25.239 --> 0:43:27.640 you get the money and you can pocket it at 0:43:27.640 --> 0:43:30.480 that time. But in order to get people relief now 0:43:30.600 --> 0:43:34.080 parents are struggling, right, they are saying we're actually gonna 0:43:34.080 --> 0:43:36.680 split this into monthly payments starting in July as soon 0:43:36.719 --> 0:43:39.959 as July, and you can get three hundred dollars, yes, 0:43:40.080 --> 0:43:43.960 per child, or sorry, two hundred and fifty dollars per 0:43:44.080 --> 0:43:47.000 child or three hundred dollars per child depending on their ages. 0:43:47.560 --> 0:43:50.480 And yes, that's a monthly payment that will go from 0:43:50.719 --> 0:43:55.479 July through December. And then yeah, so that should start 0:43:55.480 --> 0:43:59.000 in July. And at another question we've gotten several times 0:43:59.080 --> 0:44:01.600 is while, well, how do I make sure that I 0:44:01.680 --> 0:44:04.480 get those funds? And again the answer is file your taxes, 0:44:04.480 --> 0:44:06.880 all your taxes, yep. Because when you fillow your taxes, 0:44:06.920 --> 0:44:09.680 you have to say how many dependents you have, and 0:44:09.960 --> 0:44:11.719 you have to say your income and the ages and 0:44:11.760 --> 0:44:14.799 all that stuff. So if you qualify, there are like 0:44:14.880 --> 0:44:18.480 there are income caps, and you definitely, you know, you 0:44:18.520 --> 0:44:21.760 definitely want to set yourself up to like not expect 0:44:21.800 --> 0:44:23.560 you're going to get this great check in July if 0:44:23.560 --> 0:44:27.240 maybe you don't qualify. But well, I'll post these notes 0:44:27.280 --> 0:44:29.600 and I used a bunch of different sources for this, 0:44:29.719 --> 0:44:32.560 and there's a lot of great info and recaps of 0:44:32.640 --> 0:44:36.520 the tax credit online that you can find. And at 0:44:36.560 --> 0:44:38.640 the end of the day, though, I would say, definitely 0:44:38.719 --> 0:44:41.759 consult your accountant if you have one to see what 0:44:41.800 --> 0:44:44.000 your particular situation entails. 0:44:45.239 --> 0:44:47.040 No, but this is good. There's a relief, you know. 0:44:47.120 --> 0:44:49.960 Well, I mean I'll say this, I mean, at least 0:44:49.960 --> 0:44:51.880 it's something because I do also know that you know, 0:44:51.920 --> 0:44:54.120 they'll be giving you the additional three hundred dollars a 0:44:54.160 --> 0:44:57.239 week for unemployment, so that's you know, that's going to 0:44:57.280 --> 0:44:59.399 be helpful for a lot of people. But still, I mean, 0:44:59.440 --> 0:45:02.799 I'm it just doesn't seem like enough. 0:45:02.880 --> 0:45:04.319 I know people are like, well, how much more? Well 0:45:04.320 --> 0:45:07.840 how about you? It's fifteen dollars an hour enough to 0:45:07.880 --> 0:45:08.920 feed you and your family? 0:45:09.000 --> 0:45:11.719 Oh okay, it's so funny, how like, you know, some 0:45:11.760 --> 0:45:13.959 of the wealthiest of the wealthy want to say, what's 0:45:14.000 --> 0:45:17.680 too much for people? You know, it's just very frustrating 0:45:18.000 --> 0:45:20.960 because you're just like, I'm sorry, I never heard of 0:45:20.960 --> 0:45:24.239 a pandemic outside of like outbreak. Remember that movie with 0:45:24.239 --> 0:45:27.440 a monkey that was like made everybody sick? 0:45:28.000 --> 0:45:30.840 No, do you remember that contagent? There wasn't a monkey. 0:45:30.920 --> 0:45:31.560 Wasn't that was a pig? 0:45:31.960 --> 0:45:33.040 Was that was that contagent? 0:45:33.080 --> 0:45:35.200 Maybe it was similar contation was a pig and it 0:45:35.239 --> 0:45:37.480 was a chef in like some resort. 0:45:37.520 --> 0:45:39.759 But anyway, yeah, no, Outbreak I think it was like 0:45:39.760 --> 0:45:41.920 this Little Monkey. I feel like Bruce Willis was in it. 0:45:42.320 --> 0:45:44.640 It seems like a very Bruce Willis's esque movie. But anyway, 0:45:44.880 --> 0:45:46.520 there was like a pandemic. But you know what I mean, 0:45:46.600 --> 0:45:49.759 like I think that I just don't understand sometimes why 0:45:49.840 --> 0:45:53.960 lawmakers are behaving like we're not trying to do these handouts. 0:45:54.080 --> 0:45:58.160 It was a world wide pandemic. I mean, like, what 0:45:58.360 --> 0:46:01.200 part of that is so hard to understand? That there's 0:46:01.200 --> 0:46:02.640 gonna be a lot more than a few months of 0:46:02.680 --> 0:46:05.439 handholding that people need serious help. 0:46:05.520 --> 0:46:07.720 So I'm curious to see a Listen. 0:46:07.880 --> 0:46:10.120 The problem is that if you are in a certain 0:46:10.520 --> 0:46:13.680 you know, tax bracket as a higher tax bracket, if 0:46:13.680 --> 0:46:16.239 you're at a certain earnings level, it's it's unlikely that 0:46:16.239 --> 0:46:18.640 there's people in your immediate circle who are struggling. But 0:46:18.760 --> 0:46:22.919 listen to me now, like people are desperate out here. 0:46:24.120 --> 0:46:27.839 And I over the weekend, I was talking to our 0:46:27.920 --> 0:46:31.240 cousin who is a high school principal, and she shared 0:46:31.280 --> 0:46:33.799 a story about one of her students, and I mean, 0:46:33.840 --> 0:46:36.759 I have not stopped thinking about this this kid and 0:46:36.800 --> 0:46:40.640 his mom ever since. And you know, and for anyone 0:46:40.640 --> 0:46:44.399 who just who just feels like, oh, okay, I'm doing well. 0:46:44.440 --> 0:46:46.719 I'm just gonna, like, you know, keep my head down. 0:46:46.880 --> 0:46:49.200 So grateful I can't imagine people are going through. So 0:46:49.239 --> 0:46:52.120 here's just this one anecdote that she told me. This. 0:46:52.120 --> 0:46:55.480 This boy's fourteen and his mother. They live in a 0:46:55.480 --> 0:46:57.960 homeless shelter they have for the past year, and he 0:46:58.040 --> 0:47:01.319 has two younger siblings who need babysitting during the day. 0:47:01.360 --> 0:47:04.440 His mom has to commute to her job all the 0:47:04.440 --> 0:47:06.319 way in Queen's and they live in the Bronx or 0:47:06.400 --> 0:47:09.760 at this homeless shelter, and because of the homeless shelter rules, 0:47:10.200 --> 0:47:12.000 they all have to get out of the shelter, and 0:47:12.040 --> 0:47:15.600 because trains are not on full service because of the pandemic, 0:47:16.040 --> 0:47:17.680 they have to wake up at three point thirty and 0:47:17.719 --> 0:47:20.000 four am in the morning, and he has to go 0:47:20.040 --> 0:47:24.280 with his with his toddler siblings to the babysitter because 0:47:24.280 --> 0:47:26.480 that's the homeless shelter's rules that he can't be there 0:47:26.520 --> 0:47:29.719 by himself for like safety reasons. So he has to 0:47:29.800 --> 0:47:32.520 drag himself out of bed at four am to go 0:47:32.600 --> 0:47:34.960 with his mom on the bus way out of the 0:47:35.040 --> 0:47:37.680 you know, his long commute to get to the babysitter 0:47:37.719 --> 0:47:40.520 by six and then he makes his way onto school 0:47:40.719 --> 0:47:43.760 and thank goodness, you know, he's able to go into 0:47:43.760 --> 0:47:46.640 school and some kids aren't and he just falls asleep 0:47:46.719 --> 0:47:50.799 during the day because he's so tired and like that. 0:47:51.000 --> 0:47:54.719 And I'm not saying that to try and I don't know. 0:47:54.800 --> 0:47:59.359 I just feel like, honestly, if more people knew yes, 0:48:00.120 --> 0:48:04.080 and could have empathy and could hear these stories, you know, 0:48:03.440 --> 0:48:08.600 how can you say that we as a country can't 0:48:08.640 --> 0:48:11.640 be there to support one another. I don't know this woman, 0:48:11.719 --> 0:48:14.120 but I feel like I know her and even this, 0:48:14.280 --> 0:48:16.360 and I know for a fact that even this fourteen 0:48:16.400 --> 0:48:18.279 hundred dollars check and the child text credit and all 0:48:18.280 --> 0:48:20.640 that it may not be enough. You know, the system 0:48:20.680 --> 0:48:24.040 does not is not set up to support people in 0:48:24.080 --> 0:48:26.400 her position, and she's doing everything right, you know. So 0:48:26.800 --> 0:48:29.799 that's how I think. It's just it's I feel like, 0:48:29.840 --> 0:48:32.120 in this life, you should just be assigned a buddy 0:48:32.160 --> 0:48:35.240 from birth, just a random person at a different economic 0:48:35.320 --> 0:48:37.279 level than yourself, and y'all should just check in with 0:48:37.320 --> 0:48:40.040 one another, and you know, to just so you're forced 0:48:40.080 --> 0:48:43.560 to know someone who's not from the same financial situation 0:48:43.640 --> 0:48:45.600 that you're in. So you can have a little bit 0:48:45.600 --> 0:48:47.640 of empathy. I think that would solve so many problems. 0:48:48.120 --> 0:48:49.560 Yeah, it's funny that you say that, because I was 0:48:49.600 --> 0:48:52.759 just talking to the superintendent or the assistant superintendent of 0:48:52.840 --> 0:48:55.640 the city where I live, and she was saying, She's like, Tiffany, 0:48:56.080 --> 0:48:57.799 there is going to be such a huge learning gap 0:48:57.840 --> 0:48:59.200 by the time we get back to school. I was like, 0:48:59.239 --> 0:49:01.600 what do you mean, because I'm used to Supergirl being here. 0:49:01.600 --> 0:49:03.600 She has her laptop, she does her work, blah blah blah. 0:49:03.640 --> 0:49:07.560 She was like, attendance rate for school, for digital school 0:49:07.719 --> 0:49:08.720 is forty percent. 0:49:09.880 --> 0:49:12.920 I was like, wait, what do they not have laptops? 0:49:12.960 --> 0:49:13.239 Isn't that? 0:49:13.320 --> 0:49:15.439 She was like, it's not that. It's to your point, 0:49:15.480 --> 0:49:18.160 Mandy that she was like, so many of these parents 0:49:18.360 --> 0:49:21.000 have the older child, but they have to go to work, 0:49:21.040 --> 0:49:25.239 and so that child has to babysit their siblings, and 0:49:25.320 --> 0:49:28.840 how do you do that and go to school? She's like, 0:49:28.960 --> 0:49:34.279 so what happens to this crop of kids who you know, 0:49:34.680 --> 0:49:37.640 are not getting the education that they quite honestly deserve 0:49:37.719 --> 0:49:39.759 and need. It was just like when she said that, 0:49:39.760 --> 0:49:44.680 I said, forty percent, what that's the attendance rate? Sixty 0:49:44.680 --> 0:49:47.320 percent of kids are not going to school, and she 0:49:47.440 --> 0:49:49.120 was like also to what she found because they've been 0:49:49.120 --> 0:49:50.759 trying to do, like to try to figure out, like 0:49:50.800 --> 0:49:53.480 what's really happening is that a lot of these kids 0:49:53.480 --> 0:49:56.399 are going to work instead that they're like, you know what, 0:49:56.800 --> 0:49:58.200 it's one thing not to show up for school. 0:49:58.239 --> 0:49:58.880 There's truancy. 0:49:58.920 --> 0:50:02.160 People will come pick you up, but they're like, my 0:50:02.280 --> 0:50:05.160 mom is not making enough, so I'm fifteen and I 0:50:05.200 --> 0:50:06.120 had to go get a job. 0:50:06.400 --> 0:50:08.320 So you're working during the school day, and it's. 0:50:08.239 --> 0:50:12.320 Just I honestly, the ripple effect of what has happened, 0:50:12.360 --> 0:50:15.560 we don't even huh. I don't think that we can conceive. 0:50:15.600 --> 0:50:19.120 I think people think that they're insulated from folks who 0:50:19.120 --> 0:50:21.759 are struggling, but you never are. All you have to 0:50:21.800 --> 0:50:23.920 do is go to New York and just see. You 0:50:23.960 --> 0:50:27.600 can live in a hundred million dollar apartment and come 0:50:27.640 --> 0:50:31.160 downstairs and there's somebody homeless sleeping in front of your apartment. 0:50:31.640 --> 0:50:34.440 You know, you're never fully insulated, like if that's the thinking, 0:50:34.480 --> 0:50:39.319 but it's just yeah, I just well, hopefully I will 0:50:39.320 --> 0:50:41.600 say this. Then when I had that interview with that 0:50:42.280 --> 0:50:45.080 mister Kimmons, Caymans whatever from the White House from the 0:50:45.960 --> 0:50:48.960 Economic something or other council. 0:50:49.520 --> 0:50:50.799 He did state that we. 0:50:50.880 --> 0:50:53.879 Right now are in the rescue component and then the 0:50:53.920 --> 0:50:57.600 next plan is the restore component. So I'm curious to 0:50:57.640 --> 0:51:00.960 see what does restoration look like after after you know, 0:51:01.000 --> 0:51:03.719 they put all these rescue plans in place, so we'll see. 0:51:04.120 --> 0:51:07.520 Just because people are not like I mean, but the 0:51:07.560 --> 0:51:11.560 thing is, people are dying. There's hundreds of thousands of 0:51:11.560 --> 0:51:14.160 people who have died, but there are there are people 0:51:14.160 --> 0:51:17.600 who are just bleeding just they are. They are dying, 0:51:17.680 --> 0:51:20.680 but they don't show it on the outside in their stories. 0:51:20.719 --> 0:51:22.080 You may not know them, but you have to have 0:51:22.120 --> 0:51:25.319 respect for them and empathy. And I'm proud that we 0:51:25.480 --> 0:51:29.040 got something through. You know it wasn't. Yeah, thank goodness 0:51:29.920 --> 0:51:32.279 that we got some sort of relief through. But yeah, 0:51:32.360 --> 0:51:34.400 you guys keep reaching out to us. Share you know, 0:51:34.440 --> 0:51:36.960 you can text us now, check the show notes. You 0:51:36.960 --> 0:51:39.600 can text or leave us a voicemail with your questions, 0:51:39.719 --> 0:51:41.520 or if you just want to vent, that's cool too, 0:51:43.160 --> 0:51:45.759 and we'll share that that number again with you guys, 0:51:45.800 --> 0:51:47.600 So check the show notes, or you can hit us 0:51:47.680 --> 0:51:50.600 up on Instagram with your questions. Yeah, and just know 0:51:50.640 --> 0:51:52.520 that even if you just want to vent or just 0:51:52.600 --> 0:51:54.480 tell us your story. You know, I think it's really 0:51:54.520 --> 0:51:57.120 important for people to feel like their stories matter and 0:51:57.400 --> 0:52:00.160 it's and I was just talking to my therapist about that. 0:52:00.280 --> 0:52:03.080 She was like, you know, it's really easy to discount 0:52:03.080 --> 0:52:05.319 your own story because you think other people have it worse, 0:52:05.400 --> 0:52:09.080 or your story isn't, as you know, troubling or whatever. 0:52:09.120 --> 0:52:11.880 But just saying your own story out loud, it matters, 0:52:11.880 --> 0:52:14.719 and your experience matters, and I want to hear it. 0:52:14.800 --> 0:52:16.920 So so reach out to us and share with us 0:52:16.920 --> 0:52:20.319 and and talk to each other because everyone's struggling in 0:52:20.320 --> 0:52:23.960 some regard. And that's what Tiffany said about shame. You know, 0:52:24.040 --> 0:52:26.399 once you say it out loud, it it just has 0:52:26.440 --> 0:52:28.719 a way of eliminating that sense of shame in it. 0:52:29.080 --> 0:52:31.760 Yeah, voice voice, what did doctor Green say? That voice 0:52:31.880 --> 0:52:33.240 is the antidote to shame. 0:52:34.000 --> 0:52:37.440 I love it all right, Well, thank you guys for 0:52:37.520 --> 0:52:40.000 your questions. Shall we move on to boost and break? 0:52:40.239 --> 0:52:41.080 Yes? 0:52:41.280 --> 0:52:47.319 And now is time to the warble though break bo 0:52:47.719 --> 0:52:51.439 break break, I never you know, break it down? 0:52:51.960 --> 0:52:54.160 Is you going to boost? Is you going to break? 0:52:54.560 --> 0:52:56.160 How much more can we take? 0:52:56.600 --> 0:52:59.399 Are you gonna be a ray of sunshine or are 0:52:59.440 --> 0:53:01.479 you gonna say, Hey, that ain't mine? 0:53:02.400 --> 0:53:06.520 Oh that was good? Off the rip? Where's my record contract? Hello? 0:53:07.040 --> 0:53:10.759 Tiffany, this Stallion. I like the pony, Tiffany, the. 0:53:10.680 --> 0:53:17.799 Pony Tiffany, my little pony. Yeah, yes, you got a boost. 0:53:17.520 --> 0:53:20.520 A break bandra, I'm gonna I'm gonna boost. I just 0:53:20.560 --> 0:53:23.719 need to give a quick boost for the Grammys last night, 0:53:23.840 --> 0:53:25.799 just because I did sit down and watch it, because 0:53:25.800 --> 0:53:27.840 I'm an old lady now and I watch things with 0:53:28.000 --> 0:53:31.680 commercials and all. But I thought Beyonce made history as 0:53:31.760 --> 0:53:35.160 like the Winnings woman in music, so respect I was 0:53:35.239 --> 0:53:37.880 shocked that she showed up. I was like, protect queen 0:53:37.920 --> 0:53:40.719 at all costs, but she's there, okay. So I thought 0:53:40.719 --> 0:53:43.120 that was amazing. And I thought the the Megan and 0:53:43.160 --> 0:53:46.040 her one for the Savage remix, and I thought that 0:53:46.480 --> 0:53:49.880 their acceptance speech together was like just the black female 0:53:49.880 --> 0:53:52.680 empowerment moment that I needed in my life. So shouts 0:53:52.680 --> 0:53:54.680 out to them. But my real boost was gonna be 0:53:54.840 --> 0:54:01.479 very very different. But uh, Facebook, marketplace, book Marketplace. I'm 0:54:01.520 --> 0:54:04.279 starting to educate myself more. Well. First of all, it 0:54:04.320 --> 0:54:06.359 doesn't take much education when like you got a kid 0:54:06.360 --> 0:54:07.920 in the house and you see how quickly they go 0:54:08.000 --> 0:54:11.600 through clothes and shoes and stuff. And I just started 0:54:11.600 --> 0:54:14.920 to get really frustrated by the amount of like new, 0:54:15.080 --> 0:54:17.960 brand new things that you know, it wasn't the right 0:54:18.000 --> 0:54:19.919 season for them, but then by the time he could 0:54:19.960 --> 0:54:22.799 wear them that he outgrew them. So starting with his 0:54:23.440 --> 0:54:26.360 winter boots, which I found on Facebook Marketplace, I made 0:54:26.520 --> 0:54:30.600 my new mission is to buy used kid stuff for 0:54:30.760 --> 0:54:33.920 my son. And part of me feels like my tug 0:54:34.239 --> 0:54:36.360 like inside, I'm like, you know, my husband and I 0:54:36.360 --> 0:54:38.320 are not quite on the same page. So maybe like 0:54:38.400 --> 0:54:40.759 y'all can help me convince him, because coming from an 0:54:40.760 --> 0:54:43.120 immigrant family, for him, it's like I want to give 0:54:43.120 --> 0:54:45.600 my son the best, Like he spend sixty dollars on 0:54:45.600 --> 0:54:48.480 an Adidas track suit for this child, Like what is 0:54:48.520 --> 0:54:51.279 that sixty two dollars? I saw that charge, and I said, what, 0:54:52.120 --> 0:54:55.440 So just like buying new clothes that he's going to outgrow, 0:54:55.640 --> 0:54:57.840 which led me down this path of learning more about 0:54:57.880 --> 0:55:02.080 just how horrible for like the environment the clothing industry 0:55:02.160 --> 0:55:05.040 is and fast fashion and all of that. So I'm 0:55:05.080 --> 0:55:07.000 trying my best. And the reason I shout out Facebook 0:55:07.000 --> 0:55:10.320 Marketplace is because there is a lot of people selling 0:55:10.440 --> 0:55:14.200 or giving away kids clothing. And I'm not looking at 0:55:14.239 --> 0:55:16.640 toys because I'm just i just can't there's already too many, 0:55:17.120 --> 0:55:19.360 but like kids clothing, so I'm all about it. And 0:55:19.400 --> 0:55:22.919 also I've had a really amazing time, really easy time 0:55:23.040 --> 0:55:26.080 selling things on marketplace now, so a Craigslist who is 0:55:26.120 --> 0:55:28.520 basically how I feel because you could actually see the 0:55:28.520 --> 0:55:30.560 person and it's not as weird as all the emails 0:55:30.560 --> 0:55:34.000 as Craigslist. So Facebook marketplace is my new jam. And 0:55:34.080 --> 0:55:37.000 also I found a second hand store that does kids 0:55:37.040 --> 0:55:40.000 clothing in my area, so I'm going to go check 0:55:40.000 --> 0:55:42.279 them out, and I'm going to I'm gonna try. Wish 0:55:42.280 --> 0:55:44.960 me luck. And if you guys as parents or you know, 0:55:45.160 --> 0:55:48.640 secondhand shoppers or thrifters, like, if you have any tips 0:55:48.680 --> 0:55:53.200 for me on my path towards sustainable fashion from my family, 0:55:53.600 --> 0:55:55.480 let me know, because I'm just, you know, trying to 0:55:55.480 --> 0:55:56.879 do things a little bit better over here. 0:55:57.400 --> 0:55:59.120 No, that's good. I mean, honestly, I'm not gonna lie. 0:55:59.120 --> 0:56:01.600 I have been buying that's much marketplace stuff. Just Facebook 0:56:01.640 --> 0:56:03.520 ads in general have been getting me. Have you ever 0:56:03.560 --> 0:56:05.040 heard of wonder. 0:56:04.560 --> 0:56:06.360 KEKs wonder who? 0:56:06.680 --> 0:56:09.680 No, there are all these cookies that they just look 0:56:09.760 --> 0:56:10.280 so amazing. 0:56:10.360 --> 0:56:12.120 Every time I came out, was like, you leave me alone, 0:56:12.200 --> 0:56:14.839 you leave me alone wonder kekes, and then I ordered 0:56:14.840 --> 0:56:17.880 them there. I mean like, I'm a chocolate cookie, like 0:56:17.960 --> 0:56:19.279 chocolate chip cookie kind of sewer. 0:56:19.960 --> 0:56:21.759 And it wasn't worth the money. I'll say that. 0:56:21.800 --> 0:56:24.560 They did come quickly, you know. The packaging was like 0:56:24.600 --> 0:56:26.239 fun and funny the way they did they tell you. 0:56:26.239 --> 0:56:29.040 They said like, I know you see us, don't you 0:56:29.200 --> 0:56:30.759 dare put us in your mouth until you put us 0:56:30.760 --> 0:56:32.640 in the oven. So it's really cute. Like the directions 0:56:32.680 --> 0:56:34.440 about how to warm them up. I would say for 0:56:34.520 --> 0:56:36.759 chocolate too cookies, I give it a strong six. But 0:56:37.520 --> 0:56:39.120 so I've been That's what I've been spending my money 0:56:39.160 --> 0:56:40.480 on it. It is. 0:56:40.560 --> 0:56:42.840 You have to be careful though, because like Facebook and Insta, 0:56:42.920 --> 0:56:46.120 they are the shopping mall of today's age, and they 0:56:46.280 --> 0:56:47.520 know they have. 0:56:47.520 --> 0:56:48.120 Been getting me. 0:56:48.800 --> 0:56:51.120 Bought those dag on wonder keys. Now every cookie company 0:56:51.160 --> 0:56:52.600 is like, hey, girl, heard you bought some cookies. 0:56:52.640 --> 0:56:55.319 I'm like, leave me it out. So needless to say, 0:56:55.320 --> 0:56:59.319 I'm not on WW You sold your own cookies, I. 0:56:59.200 --> 0:57:00.960 Know honestly, and I one of the cause they made 0:57:01.000 --> 0:57:03.080 it look so delicious, like I said, if they weren't bad, 0:57:03.480 --> 0:57:04.799 but I was like, oh man, I could have just 0:57:04.800 --> 0:57:08.640 got my my my chocolate butter chalk cookies from Whole Foods. 0:57:08.680 --> 0:57:12.400 Those are like slamming okay, and they're not as expensive 0:57:12.400 --> 0:57:16.280 as Wonder Keys. So I'm gonna do a boost because 0:57:16.320 --> 0:57:19.200 this morning I woke up it was like a really poof. 0:57:19.320 --> 0:57:21.440 It was a lot this weekend. So if you guys 0:57:21.440 --> 0:57:23.080 don't know, I'm gonna be doing like a GEG Good 0:57:23.120 --> 0:57:26.520 with Money summit on April twenty fourth. I'll give you 0:57:26.600 --> 0:57:29.480 more information about that later. But what i'd done. What 0:57:29.520 --> 0:57:31.600 I did was and I forgot to tell Brown Ambition, 0:57:31.680 --> 0:57:33.640 but it's too late now. What I did was I 0:57:33.640 --> 0:57:36.760 said that if you pre ordered the book that you know, 0:57:36.880 --> 0:57:39.720 up until Sunday, then I would give you I would 0:57:40.120 --> 0:57:42.040 if you showed proof. There's like some form you have 0:57:42.080 --> 0:57:43.720 to fill out. If you showed proof, then you got 0:57:43.720 --> 0:57:45.560 a free ticket to the summit. Because the summit's like 0:57:45.560 --> 0:57:47.840 forty bucks, and like the books are like eighteen bucks 0:57:47.920 --> 0:57:50.080 or whatever. I think, like, well they're really twenty four, 0:57:50.120 --> 0:57:52.960 but they're like discounted all all over anyway, So you know, 0:57:53.080 --> 0:57:55.440 my book Giggod with Money doesn't come out until the 0:57:55.480 --> 0:57:57.840 thirtieth and so I didn't, you know, I mean I 0:57:57.880 --> 0:57:59.720 figured that people would be like, oh okay, I wanted 0:57:59.720 --> 0:58:03.000 summer ticket, summit tickets, no girl, And I tell you 0:58:04.000 --> 0:58:06.000 I woke up this morning. I was like, huh, let 0:58:06.080 --> 0:58:10.000 me see where my book because my penguin has been 0:58:10.000 --> 0:58:12.280 saying like, hey, Tiffanyo, let's try to, like, you know, 0:58:12.520 --> 0:58:14.080 like pick up I mean, book sales have done well, 0:58:14.320 --> 0:58:16.240 we sold thousands, but like she's like, you know, let's 0:58:16.480 --> 0:58:17.400 is there anything else you could do. 0:58:17.400 --> 0:58:18.080 To pick up some sales. 0:58:18.120 --> 0:58:19.520 I was like, you know what we're doing the summit, 0:58:19.840 --> 0:58:21.880 why don't we give away, you know, doing exchange for 0:58:21.920 --> 0:58:24.000 some books just for three days to give people an option. 0:58:24.720 --> 0:58:25.080 Child. 0:58:25.240 --> 0:58:27.440 I woke up this morning to my book that's not 0:58:27.480 --> 0:58:31.440 even out, so preface it was saying there are currently 0:58:31.520 --> 0:58:34.440 forty eight point five million books for sale on Amazon. 0:58:34.880 --> 0:58:36.320 Forty eight point five million. 0:58:36.440 --> 0:58:37.320 Are you okay? 0:58:37.440 --> 0:58:37.920 I'm ready? 0:58:38.120 --> 0:58:39.720 Tell me I haven't seen this yet. 0:58:39.720 --> 0:58:45.880 Tell me so. My book today was number twenty eight. 0:58:47.360 --> 0:58:50.240 I mean of not finance books, not money, but of 0:58:50.360 --> 0:58:53.520 all books. 0:58:52.560 --> 0:58:54.080 Out of forty eight point five. 0:58:54.080 --> 0:58:56.520 I was like, wait, I literally woke up, it was like, wait, 0:58:56.560 --> 0:58:58.520 what is this real life? 0:58:59.120 --> 0:59:03.040 Like in sale? I was like wait what, And then 0:59:03.560 --> 0:59:03.880 for it. 0:59:03.800 --> 0:59:05.520 To be pre order, like this is not like you know, 0:59:05.560 --> 0:59:07.760 normally you might see that number. I guess like if 0:59:07.760 --> 0:59:09.880 you're ding, like you know, when it's actually out and 0:59:09.880 --> 0:59:12.200 everybody's read and they're telling their friends and cousins, that 0:59:12.280 --> 0:59:15.600 means y'all trust me so much that you went out 0:59:15.760 --> 0:59:18.360 and you pre ordered Get Good with Money at get 0:59:18.400 --> 0:59:21.760 Goodmoney dot com. You know my my show, I always 0:59:21.760 --> 0:59:23.800 got to do one per show, but no, but honestly, 0:59:23.880 --> 0:59:26.280 it just honestly, I just sat on the couch and, 0:59:26.320 --> 0:59:30.160 like said, just silent prayers of gratitude, like wow, that 0:59:30.640 --> 0:59:34.640 my audience trusts me so much that they flooded to 0:59:34.720 --> 0:59:36.919 go get the book this weekend, you know, because one 0:59:36.960 --> 0:59:39.200 they wanted, like the summit, which is gonna be awesome 0:59:39.240 --> 0:59:41.600 because I pulled so inside the book, I have these 0:59:42.280 --> 0:59:44.240 what I call my budget east the boosters, like things 0:59:44.240 --> 0:59:46.480 that are not my expertise. I don't believe in pretending 0:59:46.560 --> 0:59:49.320 that I know, so I pulled experts in the more 0:59:49.320 --> 0:59:52.240 complicated financial things to walk us through step by step 0:59:52.240 --> 0:59:54.400 how to get those things done. And so I pulled 0:59:54.400 --> 0:59:56.640 some of those women to do a conference with me. 0:59:56.720 --> 1:00:00.240 It's five of my most well they're all amazing, Budge, 1:00:00.240 --> 1:00:02.760 these boosters, but I chose five of them, and that summit, 1:00:02.800 --> 1:00:05.360 like I said, it's coming up in April, but it 1:00:05.600 --> 1:00:08.920 just to just see the flood and to see number 1:00:08.960 --> 1:00:12.960 twenty seven or twenty eight, that's crazy. Like it was 1:00:13.000 --> 1:00:16.640 above Michelle Obama. I mean temporarily, it was above Barack. 1:00:16.760 --> 1:00:19.360 I mean, you know, mister President. But I'm just like 1:00:19.440 --> 1:00:22.960 it was it was above you know dr who you know, 1:00:23.000 --> 1:00:26.600 we don't really like that. It was above Robert Kiyosaki, 1:00:27.520 --> 1:00:30.760 like rich Dad before Dad, I know exactly. I mean 1:00:30.800 --> 1:00:32.520 it just was like I mean, like I said, even 1:00:32.520 --> 1:00:35.040 if it was just for a day, child, I'll take it. 1:00:35.080 --> 1:00:37.680 But it just felt really good because you know, Mandy, 1:00:37.800 --> 1:00:41.120 like I, I did not want to be on the 1:00:41.120 --> 1:00:43.680 cover of the book, because not because I didn't want 1:00:43.720 --> 1:00:45.240 to be on the cover, but honestly, I was like, 1:00:45.280 --> 1:00:47.120 no one's gonna buy a book with a black a 1:00:47.160 --> 1:00:49.720 financial book with a black woman on the cover. I mean, 1:00:49.760 --> 1:00:52.120 I knew my audience would because you know, they know me, 1:00:52.200 --> 1:00:54.720 but I wanted the book to reach wider than me, 1:00:54.840 --> 1:00:56.680 and I just told myself, like, no one's gonna buy 1:00:56.680 --> 1:00:59.160 this book. They're gonna be like because I've been in 1:00:59.280 --> 1:01:02.560 rooms before, well I stood up to the mic and 1:01:02.640 --> 1:01:04.560 like I've seen women being like, she's not the speaker 1:01:04.560 --> 1:01:06.320 and she literally mouthing it to each other and they're 1:01:06.360 --> 1:01:08.760 like no, no, she's just checking the mic, and I'm 1:01:08.840 --> 1:01:12.560 like wow. So, you know, like I just felt like, 1:01:12.720 --> 1:01:14.720 you know, people would look at the book and be like, 1:01:15.000 --> 1:01:17.200 she doesn't know. No, I'm not getting it. And so 1:01:17.240 --> 1:01:18.720 I was like, well, maybe we could just do like 1:01:18.760 --> 1:01:21.360 you know whatever on the front cover. And I'm just 1:01:21.400 --> 1:01:25.360 really grateful for like Marnie and Penguin and Heather, my agent, 1:01:26.000 --> 1:01:28.280 for pushing me and saying you need to be on 1:01:28.320 --> 1:01:31.400 this cover. These are white women, you know. They were like, no, Tiffany, 1:01:31.680 --> 1:01:34.320 you need to be on this cover. Like women and 1:01:34.560 --> 1:01:37.360 black women, brown, everyone needs to see you on this cover. 1:01:37.440 --> 1:01:39.560 There needs to be a new face in personal finance, 1:01:39.640 --> 1:01:42.680 not just your face, but to crack open the door 1:01:42.720 --> 1:01:44.480 to say like I want to look on those shelves 1:01:44.560 --> 1:01:48.040 and see women. I want to see latinas, I want 1:01:48.080 --> 1:01:50.360 to see Asian men and women. I want to you know, 1:01:50.520 --> 1:01:53.640 there has to be, you know, like it's enough of 1:01:53.760 --> 1:01:56.760 just one type of voice. And so I'm just really 1:01:56.760 --> 1:01:59.160 grateful that you know, my big old smiling face. My 1:01:59.160 --> 1:02:01.080 sisters were like, y show too much gum, that's all. 1:02:01.280 --> 1:02:03.520 Can you imagine? Sisters? I have to look, I say, 1:02:03.520 --> 1:02:05.600 am I smiling too big? They're like, you are too smiling? 1:02:05.640 --> 1:02:07.720 Too big? I said, you all hate and sisters, but 1:02:07.840 --> 1:02:08.600 that's what, sisters, of. 1:02:08.720 --> 1:02:11.640 What There is no such thing as too much smile? 1:02:11.760 --> 1:02:12.520 Get out of here. 1:02:12.880 --> 1:02:17.360 Your number. You're number fifteen on Movers and Shakers. 1:02:16.440 --> 1:02:20.080 I wonder, man, joy, is that crazy? Yes? 1:02:20.520 --> 1:02:24.160 I know it's not crazy. I'm like, my face hurts, 1:02:24.160 --> 1:02:26.320 and also I'm getting like teary eyed. You're number thirty 1:02:26.320 --> 1:02:28.920 five on bestsellers period. 1:02:29.200 --> 1:02:32.080 Oh my gosh, I just don't even know what that means. 1:02:32.280 --> 1:02:34.480 It's not easy being a bunny is number one, but like. 1:02:34.600 --> 1:02:38.360 Whatever, you know what, I'm not even mad because Easter's 1:02:38.400 --> 1:02:38.840 coming up. 1:02:38.880 --> 1:02:41.560 But you know what, First of all, the fact that 1:02:41.600 --> 1:02:43.320 it's not easy being a buddy is number one. 1:02:43.560 --> 1:02:45.720 That is a second, is this like among the books 1:02:45.720 --> 1:02:48.640 that Mandy typically buys, because these are all children's books, 1:02:48.680 --> 1:02:52.200 like in the top ten whatever whatever, Like your face 1:02:52.280 --> 1:02:53.040 is there? 1:02:53.360 --> 1:02:54.120 Can you imagine? 1:02:54.640 --> 1:02:56.440 And so like yeah, so I just wanted to just 1:02:56.480 --> 1:02:58.440 say like that was the boost that like, man, if 1:02:58.440 --> 1:03:01.040 there ever was a go for a moment, I hope 1:03:01.040 --> 1:03:04.480 that I can be an example like cis go for it. 1:03:04.920 --> 1:03:07.600 You know, you just don't know. I know right now 1:03:07.680 --> 1:03:10.000 there's a lot of tearing down because of meaning like 1:03:10.240 --> 1:03:13.160 pandemic quarantine, that there was a lot of broken Like 1:03:13.720 --> 1:03:15.600 I had a thing and it's broken. This is actually 1:03:15.640 --> 1:03:18.360 the best time to rebuild the thing you actually wanted, 1:03:19.080 --> 1:03:21.160 you know, Like that's why I remember thinking that when 1:03:21.160 --> 1:03:23.800 I lost everything during the last for session, I said, Tiffany, 1:03:23.800 --> 1:03:26.040 you can rebuild the exact same house that you lived 1:03:26.040 --> 1:03:28.920 in before, or you can actually go for the thing 1:03:28.960 --> 1:03:31.320 you actually wanted that you were too afraid to walk 1:03:31.320 --> 1:03:33.720 away from this life for. And I was like, you 1:03:33.760 --> 1:03:35.160 know what, I'm going to go for it. I'm going 1:03:35.240 --> 1:03:38.160 to build a life that actually secretly wanted. And you know, 1:03:38.320 --> 1:03:40.680 I'm I'm not fully living in now, because you know, 1:03:40.720 --> 1:03:42.840 I'd be overworking because you know, just team too much. 1:03:42.880 --> 1:03:46.560 But I am much closer than like you know, I 1:03:47.080 --> 1:03:51.800 am at least living the professional life that I never 1:03:51.880 --> 1:03:54.640 dreamed of. I'm just like realigning my personal life to 1:03:54.720 --> 1:03:57.120 like not hold myself to such not to say high expectation, 1:03:57.200 --> 1:03:59.880 but like you know, not overwork myself. But like ultimately, 1:03:59.880 --> 1:04:01.080 I just never thought stuff like. 1:04:01.080 --> 1:04:04.800 This was possible. And so yeah, just that was my boost, 1:04:04.880 --> 1:04:09.040 like causual, just a little boost. Yeah yeah, yeah. 1:04:09.120 --> 1:04:10.800 Now here's the thing you might check when y'all want, 1:04:10.800 --> 1:04:13.320 when y'all listen, this is Monday. I can't promise, well, 1:04:13.320 --> 1:04:15.760 Wednesday gonna look like when you go to see my numbers, 1:04:15.800 --> 1:04:19.320 but at least for this weekend and today, you know 1:04:19.680 --> 1:04:23.240 you put my love on top, baby, I love. 1:04:24.360 --> 1:04:25.760 I hope Oprah's watch. 1:04:26.920 --> 1:04:30.320 Hey, I want to be called Auntie. Hey miss Oprah. 1:04:30.480 --> 1:04:36.040 So you know people at Oprah's favorite things. I don't know. Well, 1:04:36.080 --> 1:04:38.840 it feels like, yes, March is the book is the 1:04:39.040 --> 1:04:40.959 is the month for new books. I feel like there's 1:04:40.960 --> 1:04:43.680 so many great I've had that pre ordered for a 1:04:43.680 --> 1:04:45.280 long time. I'm sitting here like maybe I should pre 1:04:45.360 --> 1:04:47.600 order some more copies, Like what else can I do? 1:04:48.320 --> 1:04:48.520 Yeah? 1:04:48.680 --> 1:04:51.200 So so happy for you, congrats. I can't wait. So 1:04:51.200 --> 1:04:53.720 the book is the March thirtieth, right, Yeah, March Thurday 1:04:53.800 --> 1:04:58.400 comes up? Okay, So excited for you to Thanks for 1:04:58.440 --> 1:04:59.080 sharing that. 1:04:59.040 --> 1:05:00.000 No, thank you. 1:05:00.840 --> 1:05:03.720 All right, well that is the show, another one for 1:05:03.840 --> 1:05:04.440 the books. 1:05:04.880 --> 1:05:07.080 Yes, indeed, all right. 1:05:07.320 --> 1:05:13.360 Take care okay friend, if you're vaccinated. It feels like 1:05:13.400 --> 1:05:15.560 the light is at the end of the tunnel soon. 1:05:15.800 --> 1:05:16.720 Just hang in there, y'all,