1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: Hey, ba fan, Mandy here or Mandra, you can call 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: me Mandra, that's fine. I have a simple request for you, guys. 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: We get so many questions on how you can support 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 1: the show, and there's really a very very simple thing 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,319 Speaker 1: that we need you guys to do. Open up this app, 6 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: open up wherever you're listening to this podcast right now, 7 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,119 Speaker 1: and subscribe if you have the ability, especially those of 8 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: you who are on iTunes. We're really making a push 9 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 1: to get the show more visible. You've seen that we've 10 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: partnered with a fabulous new network called Westwood One. 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Subscribe, like and review the show, 23 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: and we thank you so much. 24 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 2: Hey hey, hey, we're back. 25 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 3: We're bled, We're brown. 26 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 4: Hey, Hey, hey Mandra. 27 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: Hey happy bran ambition Wednesday. 28 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,759 Speaker 3: Oh, how have you been since the last time we chatted? 29 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: You know who even knows? I think since we last 30 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: chatted it was we passed the year anniversary of COVID, 31 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: So a lot of feelings have been felt on my side, 32 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: a lot of looking back at old photos of me 33 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: and the baby one year ago kind of like where 34 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: I was, and it's like, oh, yeah, my mom was 35 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: here and I had just started on my you know, 36 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: seeing my psychiatrist and trying to get my mental health 37 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: in check. And I remember it was around this time 38 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: we finally finally got an editor. So hey, shout out 39 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: to Keli for all the help. And yeah, it was 40 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: such a It was a huge turning point for me 41 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: as a as a mom, as a career person, a 42 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: career woman, and just a human being in this world. 43 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: So yeah, I did. I did a lot of like 44 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: reflecting and trying to just be grateful for having come 45 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 1: out on the other side almost and got my vaccine appointment. 46 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: My husband's got his coming up this week, and we're 47 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: we're cautiously feeling dare I say a little tiny optimistic 48 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: about you know, the year to come? 49 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 3: That's good, that's good. Honestly, it's just been we're winding down, 50 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 3: you know, books stuff and also to so if you 51 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,799 Speaker 3: have not voted for me for NAACP Award, hello, hit 52 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 3: up my socials, especially my Instagram. 53 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 4: You'll see a picture somewhere. You can vote every day, y'all. 54 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 4: Even though you know I did it twice? You did? 55 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: I remember two times? 56 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 3: Yes? 57 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: Look at you? 58 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 3: So you know this is your reminder vote for me 59 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 3: this today. But today you know I always go down 60 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 3: like the YouTube rabbit hole. I don't know if it's 61 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 3: you if you do that, Like when I can't sleep, 62 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 3: I'm like, what's on YouTube? And lately I've been seeing 63 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 3: a lot of videos about something called hypergamy. Have you 64 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 3: heard of hypergamy before? 65 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: I have not. When you originally asked me, I was like, 66 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,239 Speaker 1: say who to what? And I'm the kind of person 67 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: who wants to feel like I know everything, But I 68 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: have to admit, never heard of it, no idea what 69 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: it is? So edgem acat me. 70 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 3: So. According to the Wikipedia, hypergamy commonly referred to as 71 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 3: quote unquote marrying up, occasionally referred to as. 72 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 4: Well, never mind't worry about that part. 73 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 3: But it's a term used in social science for the 74 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 3: act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of 75 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 3: higher cast or social status in themselves. Typically from what 76 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 3: I've seen, like when I've seen like on like, it's 77 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 3: been a lot on social media. There's a lot of 78 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 3: Instagram accounts that talk about hypergamy. Typically when marrying up, 79 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 3: it's usually like a man with money with more money 80 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 3: than them, like, you know, looking specifically for man who 81 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 3: had more money. So I was in this Clubhouse group, 82 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 3: like when Clubhouse first came out, and they were talking 83 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,840 Speaker 3: about does the person you date or does the man 84 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 3: you date have to make multiple six figures or something 85 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 3: to that effect. But I went in there, and you know, 86 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 3: there were a lot of people who were like shaming 87 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 3: women who wanted a partner that made, you know, good money, 88 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 3: And there were a lot of people who were also like, no, 89 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 3: they don't have to. But I just shared that, like, 90 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 3: you know, my husband doesn't make more than I do. 91 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 3: He doesn't make multiple six figures, and you know, we 92 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 3: are happy and stable. What do you think about that. 93 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 3: So it is a practice that that I see is 94 00:04:55,400 --> 00:05:00,159 Speaker 3: not new, but it seems like just from like reading 95 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 3: and watching these YouTube videos, that it's something that's being 96 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 3: introduced to black and brown women more than ever before. 97 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 3: And for some reason, so many women who are black 98 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 3: and brown are being shamed for saying, hey, I would 99 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 3: like a partner that makes a certain amount of money, 100 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,280 Speaker 3: and they're like, hey, how come I can't say that, 101 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 3: but our white counterparts, those women can say that. You know, 102 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 3: like we look at women when they marry up and 103 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 3: we're like, oh, that's good. But as soon as a 104 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 3: black woman is like, hey, you know, I'd like a 105 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 3: man who makes this amount of money because I want 106 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,359 Speaker 3: to be I want to be kept in a certain 107 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 3: fashion if I want to be kept at all, or 108 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 3: maybe I make this a certain amount of money and 109 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 3: I'd like for him to match me, you know. 110 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, so I'm curious. I mean to like, yes, 111 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: you and Superman have a there's a big you know, 112 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: you've talked about the disparity and your income and the 113 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: gap there, but when you originally met Superman, you certainly 114 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: weren't like the budget needs to Superstar, you know, so 115 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: at the time do you remember and you were looking, 116 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,359 Speaker 1: you know, for a partner. I don't know if you 117 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: were looking or not, of Superman just fell into a 118 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: lot because you lucky like that. 119 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 4: But no, you're right, I was you approach it. 120 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, girl, we was neck and neck, okay, because we 121 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 3: were like we were in our early twenties when I 122 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 3: first met him, and we'll know he's met me. So 123 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 3: we were like I was literally just starting my like 124 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 3: preschool teaching. I honestly, we probably were making around the 125 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,279 Speaker 3: same amount. Who knows, I was making thirty nine thousand, 126 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 3: maybe he was making a little bit less. But when 127 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 3: I also too, I wasn't looking for like a permanent partner. 128 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 3: I was just like, oh, he's cute, he's nice, and 129 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 3: so we dated a little bit, and then when I 130 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 3: was thirty when we met again, I mean, he definitely 131 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 3: was making more than me because I was making it nothing, 132 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 3: that's what I had just lost my job, but I 133 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 3: was just like, unemployment is my employer. 134 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 4: That was the only check a system was getting. 135 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 3: And then when we started to date, like the last 136 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 3: and final time, when I was like about thirty four, I. 137 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 4: Was making a little bit more than him. 138 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 3: But well, no, that's not even true because at thirty 139 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,839 Speaker 3: four my business was making more, but probably my take 140 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 3: home we were probably like to your point, around neck 141 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,919 Speaker 3: and Nick maybe slightly more. But then obviously since being 142 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 3: with him, I've grown tremendously. So to your point, I 143 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 3: don't know if I met him Tiffany now to where 144 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 3: he is now, what that would have been. But because 145 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 3: we kind of grew up together financially, and he provided 146 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 3: a safe space for me to like flourish and grow. 147 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 3: So to your point, you're right, it's probably not a 148 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 3: fair comparison to say like, well, hey, I'm everything's good 149 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 3: over here. It's like, yeah, but you guys started off 150 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 3: at the same you know. 151 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think in an ideal world, the thing is 152 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: not everybody has that is not, you know, married to 153 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: someone that they met in their early twenties, like I. 154 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: You know, I met my husband when I was twenty four, 155 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: and we were same as you and Superman, you know, financially, 156 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 1: you know, on a similar path, and he was finishing 157 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: up his masters and moving up in his you know, 158 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: his government job, and I was just a I was 159 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: a writer, and we both had career ambitions. But for me, 160 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for certain 161 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: attributes and a partner. And is hype is a hypergamy? 162 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: Is that just like heterosexual relationships? Is it only when 163 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: a woman is looking for a man. 164 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 3: No, it's just like more basically, it's quote unquote leveling up. 165 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 3: Like there's this, For example, there's a woman, this one 166 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 3: is a white woman, but her name is what is 167 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 3: her name? But she's got this this like social media 168 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 3: channel and Instagram and YouTube channel called school of Affluence. 169 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 3: Her name is Annabe. That's what it is, Annabe. And 170 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 3: she's grown tremendously. I think she was out for like 171 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 3: two years. She's already got like a million here and like, 172 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 3: but she teaches hypogamy like looking for a partner, she teaches. Yeah, 173 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 3: she literally her school, her school of Hype of Affluence, 174 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 3: is to teach you how to attract a man. 175 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 4: Of means interesting. 176 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: Well, what I was what I was gonna say is 177 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: not everyone is in a position where they are in 178 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: the early twenties and they meet their partner, they don't 179 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 1: have any Well, in your case, Superman did have a 180 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: child from a previous relationship. But I think it's very different. 181 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: Like for example, when my mom had divorced my dad 182 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: and she had four kids, like under the age of thirteen, 183 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: and she, you know, was I remember, I have such 184 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 1: fond memories of her starting to date when I was 185 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: like twelve, and she would have these you know, she'd 186 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: go online match dot Com or whatever it was back 187 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: e Harmony and she would, yeah, she would be dating, 188 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: and in her position, I can totally understand how she 189 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna even 190 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: entertain the idea of dating someone who's not able to 191 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 1: you know, support himself at the very least, because like, 192 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,839 Speaker 1: I got all these kids. So I do think for 193 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: women in certain positions, you know, you may be it 194 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: just may be reality, like I need an additional income 195 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 1: and or I, you know, I'm making ends meet as 196 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,839 Speaker 1: a single parent, and additional income would be nice. And 197 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: you don't want to marry someone who has a bunch 198 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: of debt or you know, can't manage their their finances, 199 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 1: so I I yees. So I feel like context is everything, 200 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: And I completely see why someone would intentionally go out 201 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 1: into the dating scene knowing that they wanted someone and 202 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: you know, man or woman or whoever wanted someone in 203 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 1: a certain financial position. I think where I get uncomfortable 204 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: is the idea of or honestly, you know, to each 205 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 1: their own right. But for me, what makes me more 206 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: uncomfortable is the notion the idea of pursuing someone of 207 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: a certain income or class. I don't know, it seems 208 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: so like weird to say class, but it very much 209 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 1: exists with the idea that you just need someone to 210 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 1: take care of you, because, like, I think, what both 211 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: of our stories have shown is that the balance, like 212 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:44,839 Speaker 1: the seesaw in a relationship, financial seesaw, Like we're doing better, 213 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: you know, financially where you and I are bringing in 214 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 1: more than our partners now, But like the what if 215 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: the balance shifts over time, and that very much can happen. 216 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 1: You know, someone can lose a job or or something 217 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: happens to knock that balance out of whack, and then 218 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you know, you may need to 219 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: support the other person financially or you know, carry more 220 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 1: of that financial responsibility. And I think couples should be 221 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 1: like I don't. I feel like each person should carry 222 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: the weight and responsibility of supporting the household. And and 223 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: I worry about a person going out there expecting to 224 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,199 Speaker 1: find someone to take care of them financially without taking 225 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 1: care of their own financial house and making sure that 226 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: they have you know, employable skills and savings and have 227 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: their own like financial their own financial footing before they 228 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: go and pursue, you know, someone to just I think 229 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: you said kept earlier, and I hate that for kept woman, 230 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: like someone who's who's just gonna, yeah, gonna just bankroll 231 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 1: your life. That to me is a little bit more 232 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: challenging to to wrap my head around. 233 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 3: So I'll share kind of like what I guess from 234 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 3: like watching some of Anna's videos, it seems like and 235 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 3: there's a couple, like I said, Anna's white, but it 236 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 3: strikes me that when she shares her hypergamy thoughts, it's. 237 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 4: Yes, okay, and this is so great. And then there's 238 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 4: other people. 239 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 3: There's like a woman named Chrissy or something like that 240 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 3: that she does hypergamy. There's a couple other black women 241 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 3: online and it's like you gold digger, you whore you. 242 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. You know, So 243 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 3: that that kind of had a red because at first 244 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't get it. I'm because you know, 245 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 3: I'm fiercely independent like you, Mandy. So I didn't get it, 246 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 3: but when I saw the difference, I said, well, let 247 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 3: me put aside my you know, bias about like what 248 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 3: I want for me and to see like what's really 249 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 3: going on here. So Banana shares it's not and this 250 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 3: is her thinking that what she brings to the table 251 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 3: is beauty, youth, the ability to take care of home children, 252 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 3: to be a hostess like that. I'm not bringing maybe 253 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 3: financials to the table, but I'm taking care of you 254 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 3: in totality, so in exchange for that, you take care 255 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 3: of me. It just looks different, right, And so you know, 256 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 3: I'm not saying I agree or disagree. I'm just sharing 257 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 3: that that's like the that's the thinking and that like 258 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 3: she does a lot of like like classes or culture. 259 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 3: Even her YouTube videos of most those are all free. 260 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 3: But it's like things to where to attract a rich man, 261 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 3: were rich men? 262 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 4: Vacation? 263 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,959 Speaker 3: How to sit with class how and so you should 264 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 3: see the comments. It's just really interesting because you know, 265 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,079 Speaker 3: there's been so much misindependent, you know, like but then 266 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 3: you read all these comments and it's just like, thank 267 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,959 Speaker 3: you so much, Anna, thank you so much, Anna, Thank 268 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:25,319 Speaker 3: you so much. 269 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: Anna. 270 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh wow, there's just a lot of 271 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 3: women who connect with that message. But like I said, 272 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 3: there are black YouTube accounts that talk about hypergamy, but 273 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 3: they definitely get attacked more but more so, it seems 274 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 3: like the black YouTubers to talk about hypergamy. It's less 275 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 3: about necessarily like the man is going to take care 276 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 3: of you or whoever, but more so because we all 277 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 3: know that, you know, black women, I mean, I'm just 278 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 3: making more than men on average. More so finding someone 279 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 3: who matches or at least semi surpasses what you're doing. 280 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 3: So less about being taken care of and more about like, 281 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 3: well I make six figures, do you? And although not 282 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 3: to say that there isn't some like you know some 283 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 3: of that in the and a messaging which is like 284 00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:16,959 Speaker 3: you know, I will take care of the children, I 285 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 3: will take care of the home. 286 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 4: It's thinking about like leave it to beaver. 287 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 3: That's the thinking that like, as the woman and the wife, 288 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 3: I am here to make sure that your needs are 289 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 3: taken care of in the bedroom, in the kitchen, with 290 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 3: the kids. 291 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 4: I do all of that. 292 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 3: But in exchange for that, you make sure that we 293 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 3: don't have to worry about where we're going to sleep, 294 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 3: what we're gonna eat, and not to say necessarily going 295 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 3: to be living in the lap of luxury, but that 296 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 3: I am taking care of I don't have to worry 297 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 3: about those things. And so it's just really interesting because there's, 298 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 3: you know, there's some visceral reactions. I guess the reason 299 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 3: why it struck me, and I'd love to hear you know, Brownavisson, 300 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 3: your listeners, like your thought process. What to me, what 301 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 3: bothers me about hypergamy is not the hypergamy itself. 302 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 4: It's like, girl, sister, do whatever you want to do. 303 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 3: I don't like the double standards for black women and 304 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 3: brown women compared to like if someone else another race, 305 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 3: specifically white women, when their hypergama is it's like, oh, yes, 306 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 3: of course, Sarah went to Princeton so she can find 307 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 3: her a Princeton man who works. 308 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 4: For But like Tanisha, look at this hole. She trying 309 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 4: to come up like you. 310 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 1: Know what I mean, Like, oh, well, what do you 311 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: think it is? I mean, my I'm trying to think 312 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: for you know, why are women or was that I said? 313 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 4: Racism? Oh? 314 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: But is the is the But honestly, though, do you 315 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:37,200 Speaker 1: feel like black and brow women who are into this 316 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 1: concept of hypergamy are being attacked by other black and 317 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: brown women or is it like white women who are 318 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: attacking them, because I wouldn't be surprised if because I 319 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,600 Speaker 1: don't know this, this like it reminds me of, uh, 320 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,240 Speaker 1: it reminds me of like that old you know, trope 321 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: of an angry black woman who who doesn't want to 322 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: you know, who who is is hard for a black 323 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: man to be with, and that stereotype that black women, 324 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: you know, expect too much and all they care about 325 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 1: is money and just yeah, having someone to provide for them, 326 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 1: and like that is kind of what makes me feel 327 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: uncomfortable about it, because you know, I don't think that's 328 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: very fair. I think as a black woman, if you 329 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 1: are looking for partnership, you should you should feel shameless 330 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: about pursuing a relationship and looking for someone who is 331 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,359 Speaker 1: financially secure or at least on a path toward financial security. 332 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 1: And if you have additional responsibilities, like if you got kids, 333 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: or you you're a small business owner and you're in 334 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 1: your income is a little not secure at the time. 335 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: I don't blame you for a second for not wasting 336 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: time with a potential mate who may not be you know, 337 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 1: on their own path toward financial security or able to 338 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: back you up, you know, while you're while you're building 339 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: your thing. I think that's just a partnership. 340 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 3: So it's funny because like in the black hYP hypergammy world, 341 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 3: they call those men who are not able to take 342 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 3: care of themselves or whatever the dusties. So like, girl, 343 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:05,199 Speaker 3: do not waste her time with that dusty. I'm not 344 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 3: gonna lie get a little giggle. 345 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: Out of that. I'm glad I did not know about 346 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: this whole debate. 347 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,440 Speaker 3: I just like, I'm not gonna lie I get into 348 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,119 Speaker 3: so much, like cause I you know, sometimes i have 349 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 3: a hard time, like going to sleep, and I'm just like, oh, 350 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 3: I'll just like like I'll turn on like you know, 351 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 3: I go to YouTube and YouTube will suggest a video, 352 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 3: and I remember I was like, what's this like School 353 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,439 Speaker 3: of Affluence? And honestly, the reason why I clicked on 354 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 3: School of Affluence is because I thought she was teaching 355 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,400 Speaker 3: you like how to. 356 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 4: Like make money, you know. 357 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I'm watching it, I'm like, wait, I 358 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 3: don't get it. So a lot of it is about 359 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,679 Speaker 3: women being softer and pinker, even for black women like 360 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,920 Speaker 3: how to be softer, so let the man be a man, 361 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,880 Speaker 3: and like, you know, it doesn't resonate with me because 362 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,959 Speaker 3: I'm just like you know, I'm rock hard, but like 363 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 3: let the man be a man and you know, and 364 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 3: like I don't know, like like I said, it's foreign 365 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,880 Speaker 3: to me because well, you know, it's so crazy because 366 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 3: it's it's not really foreign to me because I'm Nigerian 367 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:07,199 Speaker 3: and I'm not gonna lie that hypergamy is something that 368 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 3: is practiced traditionally in my culture. That will one that 369 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,639 Speaker 3: women are expected to be subservient in some ways like 370 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:18,439 Speaker 3: old school ways to their husbands, but husbands are expected 371 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 3: to be financial providers, like literally when they don't do 372 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 3: this much anymore because it's like so like to me, 373 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,159 Speaker 3: it's just crazy. Like but if you if I was 374 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 3: living in the village to say, like you know, fifty 375 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 3: years ago and a man wanted to marry me, he 376 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,639 Speaker 3: would have to come to my father ask for my 377 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 3: hand and he would have to give a dowry basically 378 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 3: buying you, but. 379 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 4: You mayn't give. 380 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,360 Speaker 1: I've been to a Nigerian wedding and the part where 381 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,439 Speaker 1: they bring out no the day one I forget if 382 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 1: it was a two day thing or if they did 383 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: did the Nigerian wedding first and then the American one. 384 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,199 Speaker 1: But yeah, when they had to, I mean she was 385 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: sitting on just a throne of presents, a presus. 386 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 2: Yes. 387 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 3: I was like, that is great, that's hypergamy. That was 388 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 3: like the man saying, look at my wealth. I am 389 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,880 Speaker 3: able to take care of your daughter and any off 390 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 3: break spring that may come. 391 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 4: So you see. 392 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 3: So it's like, even though I'm saying like it's foreign 393 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 3: to me, it's really not. Because that's why I'm not 394 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 3: gonna lie. When I brought Durell home, my parents were like, 395 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 3: I don't understand what's happening. They were like, because Nigeria's 396 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 3: actually encourage you oftentimes to marry older men, not like 397 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,400 Speaker 3: way older, but like somebody more established. I'll say that. 398 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 3: You know, so you're twenty and maybe he's thirty. Like 399 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,479 Speaker 3: my father is eleven years older than my mother, so 400 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 3: he was more established. So it's not actually foreign to me. 401 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 3: It's just not. But it's so odd because as much 402 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 3: as that's part of my culture, Like, and my father 403 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 3: is actually pretty traditional Nigerian man. He really raised us 404 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,640 Speaker 3: to be fiercely independent, and he said, I want that 405 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 3: when you do marry, if you decide to marry, that 406 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,880 Speaker 3: you are there not because you need someone to financially 407 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 3: support you, but because this is the person you want 408 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 3: to be with. So it was odd and how traditional 409 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 3: he is. But then when it came to his daughters, 410 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 3: he was like a second thought, you know what, I 411 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 3: need you guys to have it together because what's not 412 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 3: gonna happen. And I suspect it's because I didn't have 413 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 3: any brothers. So traditionally, what you would do is that 414 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,159 Speaker 3: your brothers would be financially responsible for you if your 415 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,159 Speaker 3: father's not here, and then you know, then pass on 416 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 3: that responsibility to your husband. But there were no brothers, 417 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,920 Speaker 3: so my fathers was like, well, you're gonna have to 418 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 3: be the brothers for yourself. But yeah, I just thought 419 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 3: that was interesting because there's this guy named Kevin Samuels. 420 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:33,119 Speaker 3: I know you're probably like, who girl, If you're in 421 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 3: a good mood, I probably wouldn't. 422 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: Watch it the heavy sigh. 423 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 3: Because Kevin Samuels is a quote unquote relationship guru. 424 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 4: I can't even give him that. 425 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 3: Basically, he brates black women and it's terrible to watch 426 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 3: it's gotten very popular. I don't know why. It's almost 427 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 3: like hate watching. I don't know if that's what people 428 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,719 Speaker 3: are doing. So anyway, women come on to say, hey, Kevin, 429 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 3: you know, I don't know why I haven't found a 430 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 3: mate yet. 431 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 4: And it's mostly black women. 432 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 3: And he basically tells you like he'll ask him one, well, 433 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,359 Speaker 3: what number do you think you are? 434 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 4: I think I'm a seven? You think you were seven? 435 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 4: You are four? This is what he's. 436 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 3: Saying on ID Live, but literally on average twenty thirty 437 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 3: thousand people watching. And then she's like, well, I know 438 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,400 Speaker 3: I don't think i'm before you are, for you're heavy set, right, 439 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 3: That's not a question, it's a fact. And then I'm like, 440 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,200 Speaker 3: oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, it's so terrible. 441 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 4: Do you have children? 442 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 2: Well? 443 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 4: Who would want that you had a degree? Nobody cares 444 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:25,199 Speaker 4: about that. 445 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 3: It is so bad, And I just oh, I just 446 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,959 Speaker 3: want to hug the women that he talks too crazy 447 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 3: like that and ask them why are you taking this? 448 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 3: You know from him? If you're past thirty, too bad 449 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 3: for you? You have a child, Oh, well, for you, don't 450 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 3: nobody want you? Like if you were to watched this 451 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 3: man quote unquote council people. You would think that if 452 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,480 Speaker 3: you are a black woman over the age of thirty, 453 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 3: god forbid you have a child, that you'll never find 454 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,680 Speaker 3: a man. He calls it a man of high quality 455 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 3: who's going to want you. And like he said that 456 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 3: Beyonce's a seven. I'm like, this is how I knew that. 457 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 4: He just feel himself. 458 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 3: Can you imagine this raggedy old man because he's old, 459 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,360 Speaker 3: This raggedy old man talking about Beyonce's seven. 460 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 1: Pay Actually I'm looking at his instead, and I notice 461 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: the only people I know we have in common who 462 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,120 Speaker 1: follow him are black men. 463 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 4: So is that trouble? They love it? No, he's a 464 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 4: black man loves me. He's like, oh, y'all, y'all. 465 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 3: The black man in the comments will say, like, you know, oh, 466 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 3: he's telling y'all the truth. 467 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 4: Y'all see y'all. 468 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 3: Don't want to hit the truth. I'm like, first of all, 469 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 3: you're a dusty. You have nothing to bring to not 470 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 3: all obviously all black men, because I love me and 471 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,119 Speaker 3: my black man. My father's black, my husband's black. But 472 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 3: like the ones that in the comments like yeah, Tellor Taylor, 473 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 3: I'm like bright, nobody wants you, sir, Yes, and so 474 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,879 Speaker 3: like it just it's it's to me, there's this like 475 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 3: upswelling of conversation about black women and worth in partnership 476 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 3: that it's like coming to them to the forefront more 477 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,120 Speaker 3: now than ever because of like this Kevin Samuel's guy, 478 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 3: because of this hypergamy movement. And I'm just curious to 479 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,879 Speaker 3: see what our audience thinks and feels about it. Like 480 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 3: you know, I I think this that you get to 481 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 3: decide for you what it is that you want for you. 482 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 3: You're not a child. Everyone gets to this side. If 483 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 3: you want to hit a man makes three hundred thousand 484 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,879 Speaker 3: dollars a year, okay, Sis, if you want to if 485 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 3: you want a man that's a scientist or whatever, Okay. 486 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 3: I just feel like it is not for anyone to 487 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 3: decide what you want for you. And just like yeah, 488 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,159 Speaker 3: I just because I knew what I wanted and I 489 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 3: made it very clear, and that's what I married, you know, 490 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 3: like I was like I wanted. I wasn't worried so 491 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 3: much about the money park because I'm gonna lie, ever 492 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 3: since i've been little old people have been telling me 493 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 3: I'm gonna be rich my whole life. So I was like, 494 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 3: I'm good on that, But I wanted somebody I remember saying, 495 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 3: who was intrinsically kind, because I know that sometimes I 496 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 3: can get on somebody's nerves and I wanted someone who 497 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 3: wasn't gonna snap, crackle and pop when I got on 498 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 3: their nerves. And Superman his natural tendency is kindness. I 499 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 3: wanted somebody who's really considerate, which he is. And I 500 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,560 Speaker 3: really wanted something that I like to call a sureness 501 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 3: of love, like even if we're you know, you know, 502 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 3: not really feeling each other at this moment of time 503 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,959 Speaker 3: because maybe you know, maybe we had a disagreement or whatever, 504 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 3: that there's one hundred thousand percent, no matter where I 505 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,880 Speaker 3: go or where I am or what's happened, that I 506 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 3: know one hundred thousand percent that you love me. And 507 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 3: I have that with him, and so to me, everything 508 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 3: else was like cherring on top of the cake. I 509 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 3: had to get clear with myself what I needed, not 510 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 3: just wanted, but what I needed in order to feel 511 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 3: like I, you know, I was okay in marriage and partnership. 512 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 3: And I think that every woman has a right to 513 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,119 Speaker 3: decide that, well, every person really has a right to 514 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 3: decide that for themselves. 515 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 4: But yeah, girl, dig down the Road watch one of 516 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 4: those videos. 517 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 3: You're going to cringe, But I think it's important for 518 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,120 Speaker 3: you to see, like how hard it is out here 519 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,120 Speaker 3: for black and brown women, how people basically tell them 520 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 3: you ain't ish and some of them are starting to 521 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,960 Speaker 3: believe it because of men like Kevin Samuels, because people 522 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 3: tell them that they don't deserve to level up or 523 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 3: marry up. And I just think that, like, you know, 524 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,680 Speaker 3: like although it might not be for me, I don't 525 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,879 Speaker 3: know necessarily think that I'm here to judge that you 526 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 3: know that you shouldn't you shouldn't go for what you want. 527 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,879 Speaker 1: I mean, I think this is the last moment in 528 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: history when we need to be finding reasons to not 529 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 1: lift up and instances of black love when we can, 530 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: and not just black love, but couples who are who 531 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: are on the on the same path financially like and 532 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: I think that's why, you know, people like our Rich 533 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: Journey Christina and Iman, and then even even the who's 534 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:20,840 Speaker 1: the other the the couple the personal finance bloggers is 535 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 1: a Tay and Tallet. I forget their names, yes, but 536 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 1: they're amazing, and I feel like just just seeing just 537 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 1: seeing two you know, people in a relationship. And I 538 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 1: know these are both heterosexual examples, but any at any 539 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:37,040 Speaker 1: rate in this in this country is damn hard enough 540 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: to be a single black woman or a black man, 541 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 1: or a black person in general making it. And I 542 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 1: think we need to support one another. And there's something 543 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 1: really beautiful to me about coming together as partners and 544 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 1: helping each other level up financially and that you know, 545 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: I that those are the stories I like to to hear. 546 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: And I love when we get those questions from our 547 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,680 Speaker 1: listeners who are like, yeah, I mean my husband, we're 548 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 1: you know, we're working on paying off his debt or 549 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 1: my dead and we're doing it together. I think that's 550 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 1: the path to success. So yeah, I mean, you may 551 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 1: find if you're looking for someone at a certain price 552 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: point that they don't have those you know, those soft 553 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 1: skills as we say, like how it'd be nice money. Yeah, 554 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:21,400 Speaker 1: the soft skills that you can't really teach it a partner, communication, kindness, empathy, 555 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. So I think, but some 556 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: people need to go on their own journey and find 557 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: out what they what they value and why they move value. 558 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: Would and you know, I would let's let's I feel 559 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 1: like we should, uh, they should do like a revisit 560 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 1: of people who went on the hypergamy track. Am I saying? 561 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 2: Right? 562 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:41,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, you let's see flow up in five years right now, 563 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,639 Speaker 1: like ninety day fiance after the ninety day. 564 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 4: Now and honestly, be a listeners. 565 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 3: If you practice hypergamy and you're super happy that you did, 566 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 3: you've been married or with the partnership, share with us. 567 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,879 Speaker 3: If you practice hypergammy and you're like, girl, why we 568 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,640 Speaker 3: would like to hear that too. Honestly, I think that 569 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 3: that would be like, you know, I message us, tweet us, 570 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:06,080 Speaker 3: you know, at the BA podcast on what's called it Twitter, 571 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,880 Speaker 3: because I'm just really curious about like what how our 572 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 3: listeners navigate and just what they think about that. 573 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 4: Yeah, so that was it. 574 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 3: I just thought that was interesting because I was like, 575 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,399 Speaker 3: oh wait, I tell man, I'm telling you Mandy, like, 576 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 3: don't do when you're in a good mood. Well, I 577 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,040 Speaker 3: don't know if he's doing a bad mood, but Kevin Samuels, 578 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 3: You're gonna be like what. I Sometimes I want to 579 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,399 Speaker 3: get a comments and be like yeah, no what, But 580 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:25,480 Speaker 3: I'm like Tiffany. 581 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: Girl, I'm disturbed by the amount of people who follow him, 582 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,200 Speaker 1: But I. 583 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 3: Mean, what should disturb you even more is that literally 584 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 3: five times the amount of people that follow him actually 585 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,919 Speaker 3: watch at a time, meaning like I don't know how 586 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 3: many followers he has, but you'll why. 587 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:43,920 Speaker 4: And you'll look and you say, wait, how many people 588 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 4: are alive? 589 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 3: Because I stumbled across him because on the top sometimes 590 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 3: they have like suggested lives, and I was like, what's this? 591 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 4: Why are so many people on here? I was like, wait, 592 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,919 Speaker 4: is this real? Wait what you know? 593 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: And I was gonna say whose name I love? 594 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 3: Yeah? So she is like a B A yeah, b 595 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:09,640 Speaker 3: A y. She is school of affluence. And Kevin Samuel's like. 596 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,639 Speaker 1: Don't follow him, but we're gonna go k. 597 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,240 Speaker 4: We're gonna yeah, go lurk, go work. And look what 598 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 4: he does. Look at this picture. You see this woman 599 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 4: how they how he has her face? You see that? 600 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,880 Speaker 3: No, like the second the second picture with a black 601 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 3: woman with the striped shirt. That's the type of shame, 602 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 3: like he you see what I mean? Like, huh he 603 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,879 Speaker 3: always but lookout he has displayed the white women below, 604 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 3: the white woman with the with the with the white hair. Yes, 605 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 3: he Someone was like if you hate black women, just 606 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 3: say so, Kevin, who hurts you? Because the way he 607 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 3: goes at black women, the way he drags them down, 608 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 3: he is he should be ashamed of himself because I 609 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 3: know your grandmother's black, I know your great great great grandmother, 610 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 3: and I know your mother black like I just like 611 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 3: why so? And the fact that people watch and listen 612 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 3: and decide and say yes, you know like I am. 613 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 3: You know I deserve to be talked to that way. 614 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's why you guys come to brown ambition. 615 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: We don't talk to you though. This is a safe space, 616 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 1: all right. Hypergamy, all right, dope, And if you guys 617 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 1: follow anyone else who has written or talked or I 618 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 1: don't know, especially I love how you say practice hypergamy 619 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,840 Speaker 1: like it's a religion or something. But then we're way. 620 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 3: We'd love to feel bad because we don't have any 621 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 3: Like I don't know any black women hypergamy accounts, but 622 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 3: I know they exist for yees, send them, like, tag 623 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 3: me in them because I would love to be able 624 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 3: to share those. 625 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 4: Accounts in case you guys are interested in learning more. 626 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 1: Okay, dope, all right, Well let's take a quick quick 627 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 1: break and then We're gonna come back and talk about 628 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 1: those stemmys. 629 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 4: Simmy. 630 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: Stimmy started hitting bank accounts this weekend. But we'll talk 631 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 1: about even more than that. Just what is in this 632 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 1: one point nine trillion dollar gift of a piece of 633 00:29:48,200 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 1: legislation that just passed last week? Be right back, all right, 634 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 1: we are back in black and brown and Stimmy's. I 635 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 1: finally started saying Stimmy's because like, I'm cool, you know 636 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 1: what I mean? Uh, Twitter was all it was hilarious. 637 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 1: So the bill only passed. What is today's March fifteenth. 638 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 1: We're recording on Monday. The bill only Biden signed this 639 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,880 Speaker 1: into legislation, like Thursday into law. Sorry, and Thursday, that's 640 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 1: only a few days ago. But already this weekend he 641 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 1: got the expedited shipping for those direct deposits. Because already 642 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 1: this weekend Twitter was a buzz and it looks like 643 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 1: a lot of people are already getting their fourteen dollars 644 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: checks if they qualified. So if you've got a wind 645 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,320 Speaker 1: if you've got a windfall in your bake account, over 646 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: the hold something, Let me hold something, now, well, what 647 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: do you actually We ran a survey at ally to 648 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,640 Speaker 1: kind of ask folks how they would be spending their 649 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 1: stimulus and would they be saving it? And this is 650 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 1: only it's really sad. This is the only third This 651 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,120 Speaker 1: is the third time we have been given or a 652 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 1: lot of people have been given stimulus checks like this, 653 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 1: and it seems in just from this little survey that 654 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,800 Speaker 1: we did, still people are holding on to the money, 655 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 1: like we're gonna save this, maybe we'll pay off debt, 656 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: but saving is probably the biggest plans that people have 657 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 1: for this extra windfall. Tiff Like, what do you what 658 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: do you say to people, because that's one of the 659 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,200 Speaker 1: questions we're gonna get to y'all's questions about the package, 660 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 1: But several people asked, you know, what would you say, 661 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,320 Speaker 1: I should do it it? Save it, invest it, use 662 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 1: it to pay down debt. How do you And it's 663 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: not one hundred million dollars, it's fourteen hundred so there's 664 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,959 Speaker 1: only limited amount of time things you can do with it. 665 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 1: So what's your take, Tiffany on that question? 666 00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,719 Speaker 3: Well, I always think first and foremost you should look 667 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,760 Speaker 3: at like the greatest need right now, right So saving 668 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 3: would be great, Investing it would be great. But if 669 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 3: there's no food in the house, you need to buy food, 670 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,720 Speaker 3: If there is a bill that you need to pay 671 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 3: that it's going to put your family in jeopardy with 672 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,840 Speaker 3: your health and their safety, you want to take care 673 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 3: of those. So I always say, first and foremost, take 674 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 3: care of your health and safety expenses. So that's like food, shelter, clothing, water, 675 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,240 Speaker 3: like you know those things. And if there's money left 676 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,320 Speaker 3: over from those things and you might be behind on something, 677 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 3: then you can take care of something that you might 678 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 3: be behind on. And then if there's still money left over, 679 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 3: if you take care of some of the things that 680 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 3: you're behind on, you know, if you want to start 681 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 3: putting some aside. I wouldn't be aggressive of paying down debt. 682 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,160 Speaker 3: I'd be more aggressive with savings because now more than ever, 683 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,360 Speaker 3: we saw that like even if you're someone who was, 684 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 3: like I had one year's worth the savings, well we're 685 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 3: a year in and if you still didn't have income, 686 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,920 Speaker 3: you could be in some real trouble right now. So 687 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 3: I would put some toward debt, but i'd be more 688 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 3: aggressive towards savings. But first and foremost, health and safety 689 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,680 Speaker 3: expenses first and foremost. And if you're someone who was 690 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,520 Speaker 3: fine across the board, maybe you're in a field in 691 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 3: an industry that didn't see you know nothing, you know, 692 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 3: the industry actually grew or whatever. You're doing fine, then yes, 693 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,800 Speaker 3: you have your your bills are paid, you're not behind 694 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 3: your you know you your debt is being properly managed, 695 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,960 Speaker 3: and certainly you can look into investing. If you're in 696 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 3: that position and you're and your your savings account is 697 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,560 Speaker 3: fully funded, then yes you can look into investing that money. 698 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 3: I know some people are like, invest right away because 699 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,520 Speaker 3: the market, but I'm like, you know, there's risk with investment, 700 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 3: with investing, and sure, like you know, things turned out 701 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 3: great for so many people, but there's just no way 702 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 3: to know for sure. So you never want to invest 703 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 3: money that you can't stand to lose. 704 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:45,240 Speaker 1: Exactly one hundred percent. So here's a question from Instagram. 705 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,760 Speaker 1: I had posted over the weekend, just some facts about 706 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: the relief package, and Instagram listener DJ said, how do 707 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 1: college students or dependents get the stimulus check? And that's 708 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: one unique thing about this particular stimulus payment is that 709 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: for the first time, you know, in the past, if 710 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 1: you were a college student or a dependent, you actually 711 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,239 Speaker 1: didn't qualify for your own check. But this most recent bill, 712 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,240 Speaker 1: if you are over age seventeen, but you're still claimed 713 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 1: as a dependent. That could be a lot of college students. 714 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: You can qualify for your own stimulus check, and as 715 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,640 Speaker 1: far as like how you get the stimulus check, filing 716 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 1: taxes is the easiest way that I can There's no 717 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 1: like sign up, you know, I think people are waiting 718 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,799 Speaker 1: to like get some alert or get a piece of 719 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,520 Speaker 1: mail that says, do you want to sign up to 720 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,239 Speaker 1: get your direct payment? The best thing you can do 721 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,799 Speaker 1: is file your taxes at least for twenty nineteen. If 722 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,160 Speaker 1: you've already done it for twenty twenty, great, so that 723 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,919 Speaker 1: the IRS knows where to find you, they know who 724 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,360 Speaker 1: your dependents are, they know how much you earn. Because 725 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 1: you know, there are income caps on who qualifies for 726 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,960 Speaker 1: the payment. Not everybody qualifies. So yeah, if you're in 727 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 1: college in DJ, if you're wondering how you can get 728 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:59,279 Speaker 1: that check or direct payment, yeah, filing your taxes is 729 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 1: probably the the easiest way to do it. 730 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I think, yeah, that's good because I know 731 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,840 Speaker 3: there was a lot of college students that were like, 732 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,400 Speaker 3: that's not fair, like how do I you know, basically, 733 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 3: I'm like, well, you before it was like you're gonna 734 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 3: have to go to your parent and ask them to 735 00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,799 Speaker 3: they've done their taxes to amend them so you could 736 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,399 Speaker 3: be independent and follow on your own, like sis, mom 737 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 3: ain't doing that. 738 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,840 Speaker 4: Mom Duke's is. She's not doing that, Like you. 739 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 3: Are dependent on her. She's going to use that money 740 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,719 Speaker 3: to continue to take care of you. But so it's 741 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,640 Speaker 3: good to know because there are some college students, although 742 00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 3: they are technically dependent on their parents, they you know, 743 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 3: they really do take care of a lot of their 744 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 3: own financial responsibilities. 745 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:37,719 Speaker 4: So that's good. 746 00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, well here's another question. Let me see, I can't 747 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 1: really decide what her we'll call her Drea because there's 748 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,439 Speaker 1: a lot of letters in her Instagram handle. I don't 749 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,400 Speaker 1: know what they add up to be Drea. Drea said, 750 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,960 Speaker 1: So should she ask? Should I take the fourteen hundred 751 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,680 Speaker 1: dollars and open up a UGMA account for my child? 752 00:35:56,719 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 1: She's eighteen months So UGMA account we actually don't talk 753 00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:04,400 Speaker 1: about very much, but it's the Uniform Gift to Minor 754 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:08,080 Speaker 1: account and they basically allow parents to save money and 755 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 1: invest and maintain full custodial control over the account until 756 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,840 Speaker 1: the child is an adult. So it's another way of Yeah, 757 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: the same way we talk about custodial savings accounts and 758 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,880 Speaker 1: a five two nine college plan, it's another option. 759 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,160 Speaker 3: What's the difference between like a UGMA and just a 760 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,400 Speaker 3: regular custodia account? 761 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think it's the difference is how it applies, 762 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,919 Speaker 1: like in terms of taxes or not taxes. When you 763 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,640 Speaker 1: know how you can apply for financial aid and then 764 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:40,040 Speaker 1: depending on you know, how many how much assets you 765 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,879 Speaker 1: have as a parent, like that'll impact your financial aid 766 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,360 Speaker 1: ability or capability. That could be one way. 767 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,680 Speaker 3: But let me I see that it's a type of 768 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 3: custodial account. I guess I'm trying to get like a 769 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 3: like you know, like, I'm like, well, what makes it why? 770 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 1: Well, the big difference is that you don't have to 771 00:36:56,640 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 1: use the UGMA account money for education expenses like a 772 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:02,879 Speaker 1: five to two nine plan. So with a five two 773 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,320 Speaker 1: nine you actually have to You can invest the money 774 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 1: the same as a UGMA account, but you have to 775 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 1: use it for education expenses or else you have to 776 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: face a tax penalty. So with a UGMA account, it 777 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 1: may just be like a way to save money, but 778 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 1: to do it without you know, like what if they 779 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:22,759 Speaker 1: don't go to college, then at least you know you 780 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:23,799 Speaker 1: can pass on the money too. 781 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 3: Well, that's why I like custodial accounts, because you don't. 782 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 3: I've done that for all the like the kids in 783 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,440 Speaker 3: my and like the little ones in my life, like 784 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,920 Speaker 3: my nieces and my nephew. Because I didn't want to 785 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,279 Speaker 3: get a five to two nine plan because I don't 786 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,160 Speaker 3: know what college is fit to be roman he's five, 787 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 3: who knows what it's. 788 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:38,320 Speaker 4: Going to look like. 789 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,680 Speaker 3: So I got a custodial account so that way, it's 790 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 3: not a five twenty nine plan, so it doesn't have to. 791 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:43,840 Speaker 4: Be used for education. 792 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 3: And it looks like this is I don't know if 793 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,600 Speaker 3: this is the same, but it's certainly something. I'm going 794 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 3: to reach out to Angelia and ask girl like, oh, 795 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,239 Speaker 3: we don't have a your gma girl, because apparently the 796 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,919 Speaker 3: earnings are not tax sheltered, but they're taxed at the 797 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,080 Speaker 3: miner's lower kitty tax rate up to a certain amount. 798 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:00,920 Speaker 3: So I wonder if that's the different, But certainly I 799 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 3: would love I want to reach out to be like, 800 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 3: so what because it looks like it's a type of 801 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 3: custodial But I wonder she might say, girl, you have 802 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 3: a UGMA. He probably will say that, like, ah, okay, 803 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 3: that's good because I just always call them custodial accounts, 804 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,040 Speaker 3: so that's just good to note. 805 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,640 Speaker 1: But yeah, no, I think so too, And we get 806 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,279 Speaker 1: like we've this is the not the first question we've 807 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 1: gotten recently about a UGMA account. So I feel like 808 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,319 Speaker 1: people are starting to learn more about them, and I 809 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:27,879 Speaker 1: feel like we have. We could do a whole show 810 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,279 Speaker 1: on how to save for your children in all the 811 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,920 Speaker 1: different ways, because I get I get tangled up in 812 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,799 Speaker 1: it too as a parent. You know, obviously I just 813 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,720 Speaker 1: goofed up and talked about a custodial era for my baby, 814 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:40,640 Speaker 1: which I can't do because you have to earn an income. 815 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:44,480 Speaker 1: But then there's, yeah, there's UGMA, and there's custodial savings accounts, 816 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,160 Speaker 1: and that's five two nine. We have a five two 817 00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,920 Speaker 1: nine for him. But and I forget which one, you know, 818 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: which one is gonna be less favorable to him when 819 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: it comes to financial aid later on? And you know, 820 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,160 Speaker 1: because the thing is, some of these accounts, like when 821 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:02,279 Speaker 1: you apply for financial aid, some count as parental assets 822 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,600 Speaker 1: and some count as the child's assets. And either way, 823 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,560 Speaker 1: you know that whole that a really important what is 824 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,319 Speaker 1: it family contribution? That the that the FASTPA kind of 825 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,120 Speaker 1: figures out how much your family can contribute that can 826 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: be impacted by saving an advance for your children. So 827 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to table that because I'm going to reach 828 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 1: out to Helen see if she wants to come on, 829 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,680 Speaker 1: or even Angulie and see or maybe TIF you know 830 00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 1: someone who's like an expert in saving for children. But yeah, 831 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,120 Speaker 1: thanks for that question, Drea. 832 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,919 Speaker 3: Yes, so if you should you put your money in there, 833 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 3: if everything else is straight, like you're not behind you, 834 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,200 Speaker 3: you know that you you your your savings is funded. 835 00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 4: I would consider this. 836 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,800 Speaker 3: I mean, I know it sounds like crazy sometimes to parents, 837 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 3: but I would consider have you maxed out or do 838 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 3: you normally max out your own tax advantage retirement account? 839 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,440 Speaker 3: I actually I would rather parents do that because let 840 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,040 Speaker 3: me tell you something, as a grown person with parents 841 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:01,800 Speaker 3: thankfully who are still here, the greatest one of the 842 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:06,080 Speaker 3: greatest gifts you can give to your child is you 843 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 3: not needing them financially when you get older, because typically 844 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,080 Speaker 3: by that time your child might have your own family, 845 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 3: and so children have the opportunity to you know, grow up, 846 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 3: work put aside money, all these other things, right, but 847 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,399 Speaker 3: you you know, you get to a certain age you're 848 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,359 Speaker 3: limited and how much more time you have to set 849 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:30,080 Speaker 3: aside for yourself. So I always tell parents that, like honestly, like, 850 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,799 Speaker 3: if it's between your retirement account and funding maybe one 851 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,880 Speaker 3: day a college fund, I say, put toward the retirement 852 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,719 Speaker 3: and then yes, definitely I wouldn't put nothing toward a 853 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:45,320 Speaker 3: college fund. But I feel like there's something about having 854 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:47,719 Speaker 3: like telling your kid like, no, me and you know. 855 00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:49,759 Speaker 4: Me and your mother are fine. You don't have to worry, like, 856 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,320 Speaker 4: you know, take care of you and your two welcome. 857 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,279 Speaker 1: Hmm. That's my whole stance as a parent is like, 858 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,760 Speaker 1: if I can create financial security for myself, I'm actually 859 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,160 Speaker 1: giving you the benefit of not having a word worry 860 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: about me. Go do your thing, chicken. So yeah, I 861 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,560 Speaker 1: toggle between those two sets of like I've talked about 862 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:08,920 Speaker 1: that in the show too, just kind of how as 863 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: a parent I'm I'm fully I'm okay with being selfish 864 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,759 Speaker 1: and pouring into myself and my own financial security. And 865 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,640 Speaker 1: you know, obviously I think it's great to set aside 866 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:22,959 Speaker 1: money for kids, And I mean I want to give 867 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,560 Speaker 1: rio a financial safety net and if he have siblings 868 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,400 Speaker 1: in the future financial security of they're in their own right. 869 00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,640 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm not going to jeopardize 870 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,440 Speaker 1: my happiness now if I can, like, if I can 871 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 1: afford to, you know, pour into my financial my own 872 00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:41,439 Speaker 1: financial security and my husband so that we can live 873 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:44,279 Speaker 1: a great and fruitful life and retirement and support our 874 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 1: kids in some ways, but not. Yeah, I don't want to. 875 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,880 Speaker 1: I don't want to sacrifice everything because they're you know, 876 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,200 Speaker 1: they have time. Time is the most valuable, yes, financial 877 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,440 Speaker 1: asset at the end of the day. And certainly I 878 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,160 Speaker 1: think having two parents who you know, they're great, But 879 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,359 Speaker 1: I learned from them the value of knowing that mom 880 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,200 Speaker 1: and dad are going to be okay. So they may 881 00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,080 Speaker 1: not appreciate that gift. They may really like the idea 882 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,839 Speaker 1: of having like a huge trust fund, but yeah, I'm 883 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 1: with you, tef on giving them the knowledge that their 884 00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:18,239 Speaker 1: parents are okay. Okay, all right, let's get back to 885 00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:23,360 Speaker 1: these questions, all right. So Vernell Vernell asks on Instagram 886 00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,960 Speaker 1: she wanted to know in relation to the child tax credit. 887 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 1: This was a big, huge, sort of element of this 888 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,360 Speaker 1: most recent relief package was the child tax credit, and 889 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,640 Speaker 1: she wants to know. Does this mean that we're getting 890 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: three hundred dollars a month per child if we qualify. Yeah, 891 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 1: So the child tax credit already existed, right, so if 892 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:45,280 Speaker 1: you met certain income requirements, you could get two thousand 893 00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,720 Speaker 1: dollars per child as a tax credit. With this new 894 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,040 Speaker 1: piece of legislation that Biden just signed into law a 895 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:55,560 Speaker 1: few days ago, it provides an additional boost financial boost 896 00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,120 Speaker 1: in the form of a tax credit for people who 897 00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:00,200 Speaker 1: have children. And let me get my notes up up 898 00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,160 Speaker 1: and you can also check our Instagram and put together 899 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,920 Speaker 1: a little story. But basically, you're eligible for three hundred 900 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:10,320 Speaker 1: three thousand dollars for each child under ages six to seventeen, 901 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,799 Speaker 1: so between the ages of six to seventeen, and then 902 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,880 Speaker 1: you're eligible for three hundred three thousand, six hundred dollars 903 00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,839 Speaker 1: for each child under age six. The way that they're 904 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,319 Speaker 1: doing this tax credit instead of you know, usually you 905 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,200 Speaker 1: do your taxes once a year and then if you qualify, 906 00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,640 Speaker 1: you get the money and you can pocket it at 907 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,480 Speaker 1: that time. But in order to get people relief now 908 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:34,080 Speaker 1: parents are struggling, right, they are saying we're actually gonna 909 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 1: split this into monthly payments starting in July as soon 910 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,959 Speaker 1: as July, and you can get three hundred dollars, yes, 911 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,960 Speaker 1: per child, or sorry, two hundred and fifty dollars per 912 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,000 Speaker 1: child or three hundred dollars per child depending on their ages. 913 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:50,480 Speaker 1: And yes, that's a monthly payment that will go from 914 00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:55,479 Speaker 1: July through December. And then yeah, so that should start 915 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,000 Speaker 1: in July. And at another question we've gotten several times 916 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 1: is while, well, how do I make sure that I 917 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,480 Speaker 1: get those funds? And again the answer is file your taxes, 918 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,880 Speaker 1: all your taxes, yep. Because when you fillow your taxes, 919 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:09,680 Speaker 1: you have to say how many dependents you have, and 920 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,719 Speaker 1: you have to say your income and the ages and 921 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,799 Speaker 1: all that stuff. So if you qualify, there are like 922 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:18,480 Speaker 1: there are income caps, and you definitely, you know, you 923 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,760 Speaker 1: definitely want to set yourself up to like not expect 924 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:23,560 Speaker 1: you're going to get this great check in July if 925 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:27,240 Speaker 1: maybe you don't qualify. But well, I'll post these notes 926 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,600 Speaker 1: and I used a bunch of different sources for this, 927 00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:32,560 Speaker 1: and there's a lot of great info and recaps of 928 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:36,520 Speaker 1: the tax credit online that you can find. And at 929 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,640 Speaker 1: the end of the day, though, I would say, definitely 930 00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,759 Speaker 1: consult your accountant if you have one to see what 931 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,000 Speaker 1: your particular situation entails. 932 00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:47,040 Speaker 4: No, but this is good. There's a relief, you know. 933 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,960 Speaker 3: Well, I mean I'll say this, I mean, at least 934 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,880 Speaker 3: it's something because I do also know that you know, 935 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,120 Speaker 3: they'll be giving you the additional three hundred dollars a 936 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,239 Speaker 3: week for unemployment, so that's you know, that's going to 937 00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,399 Speaker 3: be helpful for a lot of people. But still, I mean, 938 00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,799 Speaker 3: I'm it just doesn't seem like enough. 939 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,319 Speaker 4: I know people are like, well, how much more? Well 940 00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,840 Speaker 4: how about you? It's fifteen dollars an hour enough to 941 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,920 Speaker 4: feed you and your family? 942 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,719 Speaker 3: Oh okay, it's so funny, how like, you know, some 943 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:13,959 Speaker 3: of the wealthiest of the wealthy want to say, what's 944 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,680 Speaker 3: too much for people? You know, it's just very frustrating 945 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,960 Speaker 3: because you're just like, I'm sorry, I never heard of 946 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:24,239 Speaker 3: a pandemic outside of like outbreak. Remember that movie with 947 00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,440 Speaker 3: a monkey that was like made everybody sick? 948 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,840 Speaker 1: No, do you remember that contagent? There wasn't a monkey. 949 00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:31,560 Speaker 1: Wasn't that was a pig? 950 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:33,040 Speaker 4: Was that was that contagent? 951 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,200 Speaker 1: Maybe it was similar contation was a pig and it 952 00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,480 Speaker 1: was a chef in like some resort. 953 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,759 Speaker 3: But anyway, yeah, no, Outbreak I think it was like 954 00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,920 Speaker 3: this Little Monkey. I feel like Bruce Willis was in it. 955 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,640 Speaker 3: It seems like a very Bruce Willis's esque movie. But anyway, 956 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,520 Speaker 3: there was like a pandemic. But you know what I mean, 957 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,759 Speaker 3: like I think that I just don't understand sometimes why 958 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:53,960 Speaker 3: lawmakers are behaving like we're not trying to do these handouts. 959 00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:58,160 Speaker 3: It was a world wide pandemic. I mean, like, what 960 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:01,200 Speaker 3: part of that is so hard to understand? That there's 961 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,640 Speaker 3: gonna be a lot more than a few months of 962 00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,439 Speaker 3: handholding that people need serious help. 963 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,720 Speaker 4: So I'm curious to see a Listen. 964 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,120 Speaker 1: The problem is that if you are in a certain 965 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,680 Speaker 1: you know, tax bracket as a higher tax bracket, if 966 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,239 Speaker 1: you're at a certain earnings level, it's it's unlikely that 967 00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,640 Speaker 1: there's people in your immediate circle who are struggling. But 968 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:22,919 Speaker 1: listen to me now, like people are desperate out here. 969 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,839 Speaker 1: And I over the weekend, I was talking to our 970 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:31,240 Speaker 1: cousin who is a high school principal, and she shared 971 00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,799 Speaker 1: a story about one of her students, and I mean, 972 00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,759 Speaker 1: I have not stopped thinking about this this kid and 973 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:40,640 Speaker 1: his mom ever since. And you know, and for anyone 974 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:44,399 Speaker 1: who just who just feels like, oh, okay, I'm doing well. 975 00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,719 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna, like, you know, keep my head down. 976 00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,200 Speaker 1: So grateful I can't imagine people are going through. So 977 00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,120 Speaker 1: here's just this one anecdote that she told me. This. 978 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,480 Speaker 1: This boy's fourteen and his mother. They live in a 979 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,960 Speaker 1: homeless shelter they have for the past year, and he 980 00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,319 Speaker 1: has two younger siblings who need babysitting during the day. 981 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,440 Speaker 1: His mom has to commute to her job all the 982 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,319 Speaker 1: way in Queen's and they live in the Bronx or 983 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,760 Speaker 1: at this homeless shelter, and because of the homeless shelter rules, 984 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 1: they all have to get out of the shelter, and 985 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 1: because trains are not on full service because of the pandemic, 986 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,680 Speaker 1: they have to wake up at three point thirty and 987 00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,000 Speaker 1: four am in the morning, and he has to go 988 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:24,280 Speaker 1: with his with his toddler siblings to the babysitter because 989 00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,480 Speaker 1: that's the homeless shelter's rules that he can't be there 990 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,719 Speaker 1: by himself for like safety reasons. So he has to 991 00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,520 Speaker 1: drag himself out of bed at four am to go 992 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,960 Speaker 1: with his mom on the bus way out of the 993 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,680 Speaker 1: you know, his long commute to get to the babysitter 994 00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:40,520 Speaker 1: by six and then he makes his way onto school 995 00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:43,760 Speaker 1: and thank goodness, you know, he's able to go into 996 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,640 Speaker 1: school and some kids aren't and he just falls asleep 997 00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:50,799 Speaker 1: during the day because he's so tired and like that. 998 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,719 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that to try and I don't know. 999 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:59,359 Speaker 1: I just feel like, honestly, if more people knew yes, 1000 00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:04,080 Speaker 1: and could have empathy and could hear these stories, you know, 1001 00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:08,600 Speaker 1: how can you say that we as a country can't 1002 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:11,640 Speaker 1: be there to support one another. I don't know this woman, 1003 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,120 Speaker 1: but I feel like I know her and even this, 1004 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,360 Speaker 1: and I know for a fact that even this fourteen 1005 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,279 Speaker 1: hundred dollars check and the child text credit and all 1006 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,640 Speaker 1: that it may not be enough. You know, the system 1007 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:24,040 Speaker 1: does not is not set up to support people in 1008 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,400 Speaker 1: her position, and she's doing everything right, you know. So 1009 00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,799 Speaker 1: that's how I think. It's just it's I feel like, 1010 00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:32,120 Speaker 1: in this life, you should just be assigned a buddy 1011 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,240 Speaker 1: from birth, just a random person at a different economic 1012 00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,279 Speaker 1: level than yourself, and y'all should just check in with 1013 00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,040 Speaker 1: one another, and you know, to just so you're forced 1014 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:43,560 Speaker 1: to know someone who's not from the same financial situation 1015 00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:45,600 Speaker 1: that you're in. So you can have a little bit 1016 00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,640 Speaker 1: of empathy. I think that would solve so many problems. 1017 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:49,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny that you say that, because I was 1018 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,759 Speaker 3: just talking to the superintendent or the assistant superintendent of 1019 00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,640 Speaker 3: the city where I live, and she was saying, She's like, Tiffany, 1020 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:57,799 Speaker 3: there is going to be such a huge learning gap 1021 00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,200 Speaker 3: by the time we get back to school. I was like, 1022 00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:01,600 Speaker 3: what do you mean, because I'm used to Supergirl being here. 1023 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,600 Speaker 3: She has her laptop, she does her work, blah blah blah. 1024 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:07,560 Speaker 3: She was like, attendance rate for school, for digital school 1025 00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:08,720 Speaker 3: is forty percent. 1026 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,920 Speaker 4: I was like, wait, what do they not have laptops? 1027 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:13,239 Speaker 4: Isn't that? 1028 00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:15,439 Speaker 3: She was like, it's not that. It's to your point, 1029 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,160 Speaker 3: Mandy that she was like, so many of these parents 1030 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,000 Speaker 3: have the older child, but they have to go to work, 1031 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:25,239 Speaker 3: and so that child has to babysit their siblings, and 1032 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,840 Speaker 3: how do you do that and go to school? She's like, 1033 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:34,279 Speaker 3: so what happens to this crop of kids who you know, 1034 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,640 Speaker 3: are not getting the education that they quite honestly deserve 1035 00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:39,759 Speaker 3: and need. It was just like when she said that, 1036 00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:44,680 Speaker 3: I said, forty percent, what that's the attendance rate? Sixty 1037 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,320 Speaker 3: percent of kids are not going to school, and she 1038 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,120 Speaker 3: was like also to what she found because they've been 1039 00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,759 Speaker 3: trying to do, like to try to figure out, like 1040 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,480 Speaker 3: what's really happening is that a lot of these kids 1041 00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:56,399 Speaker 3: are going to work instead that they're like, you know what, 1042 00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:58,200 Speaker 3: it's one thing not to show up for school. 1043 00:49:58,239 --> 00:49:58,880 Speaker 4: There's truancy. 1044 00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:02,160 Speaker 3: People will come pick you up, but they're like, my 1045 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,160 Speaker 3: mom is not making enough, so I'm fifteen and I 1046 00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:06,120 Speaker 3: had to go get a job. 1047 00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,320 Speaker 4: So you're working during the school day, and it's. 1048 00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:12,320 Speaker 3: Just I honestly, the ripple effect of what has happened, 1049 00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:15,560 Speaker 3: we don't even huh. I don't think that we can conceive. 1050 00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:19,120 Speaker 3: I think people think that they're insulated from folks who 1051 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,759 Speaker 3: are struggling, but you never are. All you have to 1052 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,920 Speaker 3: do is go to New York and just see. You 1053 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:27,600 Speaker 3: can live in a hundred million dollar apartment and come 1054 00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:31,160 Speaker 3: downstairs and there's somebody homeless sleeping in front of your apartment. 1055 00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:34,440 Speaker 3: You know, you're never fully insulated, like if that's the thinking, 1056 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:39,319 Speaker 3: but it's just yeah, I just well, hopefully I will 1057 00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,600 Speaker 3: say this. Then when I had that interview with that 1058 00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,080 Speaker 3: mister Kimmons, Caymans whatever from the White House from the 1059 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,960 Speaker 3: Economic something or other council. 1060 00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:50,799 Speaker 4: He did state that we. 1061 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,879 Speaker 3: Right now are in the rescue component and then the 1062 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:57,600 Speaker 3: next plan is the restore component. So I'm curious to 1063 00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,960 Speaker 3: see what does restoration look like after after you know, 1064 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,719 Speaker 3: they put all these rescue plans in place, so we'll see. 1065 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:07,520 Speaker 1: Just because people are not like I mean, but the 1066 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:11,560 Speaker 1: thing is, people are dying. There's hundreds of thousands of 1067 00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 1: people who have died, but there are there are people 1068 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 1: who are just bleeding just they are. They are dying, 1069 00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,680 Speaker 1: but they don't show it on the outside in their stories. 1070 00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:22,080 Speaker 1: You may not know them, but you have to have 1071 00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:25,319 Speaker 1: respect for them and empathy. And I'm proud that we 1072 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,040 Speaker 1: got something through. You know it wasn't. Yeah, thank goodness 1073 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,279 Speaker 1: that we got some sort of relief through. But yeah, 1074 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,400 Speaker 1: you guys keep reaching out to us. Share you know, 1075 00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:36,960 Speaker 1: you can text us now, check the show notes. You 1076 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,600 Speaker 1: can text or leave us a voicemail with your questions, 1077 00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:41,520 Speaker 1: or if you just want to vent, that's cool too, 1078 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,759 Speaker 1: and we'll share that that number again with you guys, 1079 00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,600 Speaker 1: So check the show notes, or you can hit us 1080 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,600 Speaker 1: up on Instagram with your questions. Yeah, and just know 1081 00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,520 Speaker 1: that even if you just want to vent or just 1082 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,480 Speaker 1: tell us your story. You know, I think it's really 1083 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,120 Speaker 1: important for people to feel like their stories matter and 1084 00:51:57,400 --> 00:52:00,160 Speaker 1: it's and I was just talking to my therapist about that. 1085 00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:03,080 Speaker 1: She was like, you know, it's really easy to discount 1086 00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,319 Speaker 1: your own story because you think other people have it worse, 1087 00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:09,080 Speaker 1: or your story isn't, as you know, troubling or whatever. 1088 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,880 Speaker 1: But just saying your own story out loud, it matters, 1089 00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:14,719 Speaker 1: and your experience matters, and I want to hear it. 1090 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:16,920 Speaker 1: So so reach out to us and share with us 1091 00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:20,319 Speaker 1: and and talk to each other because everyone's struggling in 1092 00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,960 Speaker 1: some regard. And that's what Tiffany said about shame. You know, 1093 00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,399 Speaker 1: once you say it out loud, it it just has 1094 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:28,719 Speaker 1: a way of eliminating that sense of shame in it. 1095 00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:31,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, voice voice, what did doctor Green say? That voice 1096 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:33,240 Speaker 3: is the antidote to shame. 1097 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,440 Speaker 1: I love it all right, Well, thank you guys for 1098 00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:40,000 Speaker 1: your questions. Shall we move on to boost and break? 1099 00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:41,080 Speaker 4: Yes? 1100 00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:47,319 Speaker 2: And now is time to the warble though break bo 1101 00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:51,439 Speaker 2: break break, I never you know, break it down? 1102 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,160 Speaker 4: Is you going to boost? Is you going to break? 1103 00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,160 Speaker 4: How much more can we take? 1104 00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,399 Speaker 3: Are you gonna be a ray of sunshine or are 1105 00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,479 Speaker 3: you gonna say, Hey, that ain't mine? 1106 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:06,520 Speaker 4: Oh that was good? Off the rip? Where's my record contract? Hello? 1107 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:10,759 Speaker 1: Tiffany, this Stallion. I like the pony, Tiffany, the. 1108 00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:17,799 Speaker 4: Pony Tiffany, my little pony. Yeah, yes, you got a boost. 1109 00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:20,520 Speaker 1: A break bandra, I'm gonna I'm gonna boost. I just 1110 00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,719 Speaker 1: need to give a quick boost for the Grammys last night, 1111 00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,799 Speaker 1: just because I did sit down and watch it, because 1112 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,840 Speaker 1: I'm an old lady now and I watch things with 1113 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:31,680 Speaker 1: commercials and all. But I thought Beyonce made history as 1114 00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,160 Speaker 1: like the Winnings woman in music, so respect I was 1115 00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:37,880 Speaker 1: shocked that she showed up. I was like, protect queen 1116 00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,719 Speaker 1: at all costs, but she's there, okay. So I thought 1117 00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:43,120 Speaker 1: that was amazing. And I thought the the Megan and 1118 00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:46,040 Speaker 1: her one for the Savage remix, and I thought that 1119 00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:49,880 Speaker 1: their acceptance speech together was like just the black female 1120 00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,680 Speaker 1: empowerment moment that I needed in my life. So shouts 1121 00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:54,680 Speaker 1: out to them. But my real boost was gonna be 1122 00:53:54,840 --> 00:54:01,479 Speaker 1: very very different. But uh, Facebook, marketplace, book Marketplace. I'm 1123 00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,279 Speaker 1: starting to educate myself more. Well. First of all, it 1124 00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,359 Speaker 1: doesn't take much education when like you got a kid 1125 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:07,920 Speaker 1: in the house and you see how quickly they go 1126 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:11,600 Speaker 1: through clothes and shoes and stuff. And I just started 1127 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,920 Speaker 1: to get really frustrated by the amount of like new, 1128 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,960 Speaker 1: brand new things that you know, it wasn't the right 1129 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,919 Speaker 1: season for them, but then by the time he could 1130 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,799 Speaker 1: wear them that he outgrew them. So starting with his 1131 00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,360 Speaker 1: winter boots, which I found on Facebook Marketplace, I made 1132 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:30,600 Speaker 1: my new mission is to buy used kid stuff for 1133 00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,920 Speaker 1: my son. And part of me feels like my tug 1134 00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,360 Speaker 1: like inside, I'm like, you know, my husband and I 1135 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,320 Speaker 1: are not quite on the same page. So maybe like 1136 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,759 Speaker 1: y'all can help me convince him, because coming from an 1137 00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:43,120 Speaker 1: immigrant family, for him, it's like I want to give 1138 00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,600 Speaker 1: my son the best, Like he spend sixty dollars on 1139 00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,480 Speaker 1: an Adidas track suit for this child, Like what is 1140 00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:51,279 Speaker 1: that sixty two dollars? I saw that charge, and I said, what, 1141 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,440 Speaker 1: So just like buying new clothes that he's going to outgrow, 1142 00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:57,840 Speaker 1: which led me down this path of learning more about 1143 00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:02,080 Speaker 1: just how horrible for like the environment the clothing industry 1144 00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,040 Speaker 1: is and fast fashion and all of that. So I'm 1145 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,000 Speaker 1: trying my best. And the reason I shout out Facebook 1146 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:10,320 Speaker 1: Marketplace is because there is a lot of people selling 1147 00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:14,200 Speaker 1: or giving away kids clothing. And I'm not looking at 1148 00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:16,640 Speaker 1: toys because I'm just i just can't there's already too many, 1149 00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:19,360 Speaker 1: but like kids clothing, so I'm all about it. And 1150 00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,919 Speaker 1: also I've had a really amazing time, really easy time 1151 00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:26,080 Speaker 1: selling things on marketplace now, so a Craigslist who is 1152 00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:28,520 Speaker 1: basically how I feel because you could actually see the 1153 00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:30,560 Speaker 1: person and it's not as weird as all the emails 1154 00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:34,000 Speaker 1: as Craigslist. So Facebook marketplace is my new jam. And 1155 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,000 Speaker 1: also I found a second hand store that does kids 1156 00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:40,000 Speaker 1: clothing in my area, so I'm going to go check 1157 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,279 Speaker 1: them out, and I'm going to I'm gonna try. Wish 1158 00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:44,960 Speaker 1: me luck. And if you guys as parents or you know, 1159 00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,640 Speaker 1: secondhand shoppers or thrifters, like, if you have any tips 1160 00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:53,200 Speaker 1: for me on my path towards sustainable fashion from my family, 1161 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,480 Speaker 1: let me know, because I'm just, you know, trying to 1162 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:56,879 Speaker 1: do things a little bit better over here. 1163 00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,120 Speaker 3: No, that's good. I mean, honestly, I'm not gonna lie. 1164 00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,600 Speaker 3: I have been buying that's much marketplace stuff. Just Facebook 1165 00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:03,520 Speaker 3: ads in general have been getting me. Have you ever 1166 00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:05,040 Speaker 3: heard of wonder. 1167 00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,360 Speaker 1: KEKs wonder who? 1168 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,680 Speaker 4: No, there are all these cookies that they just look 1169 00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:10,280 Speaker 4: so amazing. 1170 00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:12,120 Speaker 3: Every time I came out, was like, you leave me alone, 1171 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,839 Speaker 3: you leave me alone wonder kekes, and then I ordered 1172 00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,880 Speaker 3: them there. I mean like, I'm a chocolate cookie, like 1173 00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,279 Speaker 3: chocolate chip cookie kind of sewer. 1174 00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:21,759 Speaker 4: And it wasn't worth the money. I'll say that. 1175 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,560 Speaker 3: They did come quickly, you know. The packaging was like 1176 00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,239 Speaker 3: fun and funny the way they did they tell you. 1177 00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:29,040 Speaker 3: They said like, I know you see us, don't you 1178 00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:30,759 Speaker 3: dare put us in your mouth until you put us 1179 00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:32,640 Speaker 3: in the oven. So it's really cute. Like the directions 1180 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,440 Speaker 3: about how to warm them up. I would say for 1181 00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:36,759 Speaker 3: chocolate too cookies, I give it a strong six. But 1182 00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:39,120 Speaker 3: so I've been That's what I've been spending my money 1183 00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:40,480 Speaker 3: on it. It is. 1184 00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,840 Speaker 1: You have to be careful though, because like Facebook and Insta, 1185 00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:46,120 Speaker 1: they are the shopping mall of today's age, and they 1186 00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:47,520 Speaker 1: know they have. 1187 00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,120 Speaker 4: Been getting me. 1188 00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,120 Speaker 3: Bought those dag on wonder keys. Now every cookie company 1189 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:52,600 Speaker 3: is like, hey, girl, heard you bought some cookies. 1190 00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,319 Speaker 4: I'm like, leave me it out. So needless to say, 1191 00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:59,319 Speaker 4: I'm not on WW You sold your own cookies, I. 1192 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,960 Speaker 3: Know honestly, and I one of the cause they made 1193 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,080 Speaker 3: it look so delicious, like I said, if they weren't bad, 1194 00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:04,799 Speaker 3: but I was like, oh man, I could have just 1195 00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:08,640 Speaker 3: got my my my chocolate butter chalk cookies from Whole Foods. 1196 00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:12,400 Speaker 3: Those are like slamming okay, and they're not as expensive 1197 00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:16,280 Speaker 3: as Wonder Keys. So I'm gonna do a boost because 1198 00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,200 Speaker 3: this morning I woke up it was like a really poof. 1199 00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,440 Speaker 3: It was a lot this weekend. So if you guys 1200 00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:23,080 Speaker 3: don't know, I'm gonna be doing like a GEG Good 1201 00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:26,520 Speaker 3: with Money summit on April twenty fourth. I'll give you 1202 00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,480 Speaker 3: more information about that later. But what i'd done. What 1203 00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:31,600 Speaker 3: I did was and I forgot to tell Brown Ambition, 1204 00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,640 Speaker 3: but it's too late now. What I did was I 1205 00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:36,760 Speaker 3: said that if you pre ordered the book that you know, 1206 00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:39,720 Speaker 3: up until Sunday, then I would give you I would 1207 00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,040 Speaker 3: if you showed proof. There's like some form you have 1208 00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:43,720 Speaker 3: to fill out. If you showed proof, then you got 1209 00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:45,560 Speaker 3: a free ticket to the summit. Because the summit's like 1210 00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,840 Speaker 3: forty bucks, and like the books are like eighteen bucks 1211 00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:50,080 Speaker 3: or whatever. I think, like, well they're really twenty four, 1212 00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,960 Speaker 3: but they're like discounted all all over anyway, So you know, 1213 00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:55,440 Speaker 3: my book Giggod with Money doesn't come out until the 1214 00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,840 Speaker 3: thirtieth and so I didn't, you know, I mean I 1215 00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:59,720 Speaker 3: figured that people would be like, oh okay, I wanted 1216 00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:03,000 Speaker 3: summer ticket, summit tickets, no girl, And I tell you 1217 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000 Speaker 3: I woke up this morning. I was like, huh, let 1218 00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:10,000 Speaker 3: me see where my book because my penguin has been 1219 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,280 Speaker 3: saying like, hey, Tiffanyo, let's try to, like, you know, 1220 00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:14,080 Speaker 3: like pick up I mean, book sales have done well, 1221 00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:16,240 Speaker 3: we sold thousands, but like she's like, you know, let's 1222 00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:17,400 Speaker 3: is there anything else you could do. 1223 00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:18,080 Speaker 4: To pick up some sales. 1224 00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:19,520 Speaker 3: I was like, you know what we're doing the summit, 1225 00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:21,880 Speaker 3: why don't we give away, you know, doing exchange for 1226 00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:24,000 Speaker 3: some books just for three days to give people an option. 1227 00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:25,080 Speaker 2: Child. 1228 00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,440 Speaker 3: I woke up this morning to my book that's not 1229 00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:31,440 Speaker 3: even out, so preface it was saying there are currently 1230 00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,440 Speaker 3: forty eight point five million books for sale on Amazon. 1231 00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:36,320 Speaker 4: Forty eight point five million. 1232 00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:37,320 Speaker 1: Are you okay? 1233 00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:37,920 Speaker 4: I'm ready? 1234 00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:39,720 Speaker 1: Tell me I haven't seen this yet. 1235 00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:45,880 Speaker 4: Tell me so. My book today was number twenty eight. 1236 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:50,240 Speaker 3: I mean of not finance books, not money, but of 1237 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,520 Speaker 3: all books. 1238 00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,080 Speaker 4: Out of forty eight point five. 1239 00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,520 Speaker 3: I was like, wait, I literally woke up, it was like, wait, 1240 00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:58,520 Speaker 3: what is this real life? 1241 00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:03,040 Speaker 4: Like in sale? I was like wait what, And then 1242 00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:03,880 Speaker 4: for it. 1243 00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:05,520 Speaker 3: To be pre order, like this is not like you know, 1244 00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,760 Speaker 3: normally you might see that number. I guess like if 1245 00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,880 Speaker 3: you're ding, like you know, when it's actually out and 1246 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:12,200 Speaker 3: everybody's read and they're telling their friends and cousins, that 1247 00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:15,600 Speaker 3: means y'all trust me so much that you went out 1248 00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,360 Speaker 3: and you pre ordered Get Good with Money at get 1249 00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:21,760 Speaker 3: Goodmoney dot com. You know my my show, I always 1250 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,800 Speaker 3: got to do one per show, but no, but honestly, 1251 00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:26,280 Speaker 3: it just honestly, I just sat on the couch and, 1252 00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:30,160 Speaker 3: like said, just silent prayers of gratitude, like wow, that 1253 00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:34,640 Speaker 3: my audience trusts me so much that they flooded to 1254 00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:36,919 Speaker 3: go get the book this weekend, you know, because one 1255 00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:39,200 Speaker 3: they wanted, like the summit, which is gonna be awesome 1256 00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:41,600 Speaker 3: because I pulled so inside the book, I have these 1257 00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:44,240 Speaker 3: what I call my budget east the boosters, like things 1258 00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:46,480 Speaker 3: that are not my expertise. I don't believe in pretending 1259 00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,320 Speaker 3: that I know, so I pulled experts in the more 1260 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:52,240 Speaker 3: complicated financial things to walk us through step by step 1261 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,400 Speaker 3: how to get those things done. And so I pulled 1262 00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,640 Speaker 3: some of those women to do a conference with me. 1263 00:59:56,720 --> 01:00:00,240 Speaker 3: It's five of my most well they're all amazing, Budge, 1264 01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:02,760 Speaker 3: these boosters, but I chose five of them, and that summit, 1265 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,360 Speaker 3: like I said, it's coming up in April, but it 1266 01:00:05,600 --> 01:00:08,920 Speaker 3: just to just see the flood and to see number 1267 01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:12,960 Speaker 3: twenty seven or twenty eight, that's crazy. Like it was 1268 01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:16,640 Speaker 3: above Michelle Obama. I mean temporarily, it was above Barack. 1269 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,360 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, mister President. But I'm just like 1270 01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:22,960 Speaker 3: it was it was above you know dr who you know, 1271 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,600 Speaker 3: we don't really like that. It was above Robert Kiyosaki, 1272 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:30,760 Speaker 3: like rich Dad before Dad, I know exactly. I mean 1273 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,520 Speaker 3: it just was like I mean, like I said, even 1274 01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:35,040 Speaker 3: if it was just for a day, child, I'll take it. 1275 01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:37,680 Speaker 3: But it just felt really good because you know, Mandy, 1276 01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:41,120 Speaker 3: like I, I did not want to be on the 1277 01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,680 Speaker 3: cover of the book, because not because I didn't want 1278 01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,240 Speaker 3: to be on the cover, but honestly, I was like, 1279 01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:47,120 Speaker 3: no one's gonna buy a book with a black a 1280 01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:49,720 Speaker 3: financial book with a black woman on the cover. I mean, 1281 01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:52,120 Speaker 3: I knew my audience would because you know, they know me, 1282 01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:54,720 Speaker 3: but I wanted the book to reach wider than me, 1283 01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:56,680 Speaker 3: and I just told myself, like, no one's gonna buy 1284 01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,160 Speaker 3: this book. They're gonna be like because I've been in 1285 01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:02,560 Speaker 3: rooms before, well I stood up to the mic and 1286 01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,560 Speaker 3: like I've seen women being like, she's not the speaker 1287 01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,320 Speaker 3: and she literally mouthing it to each other and they're 1288 01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:08,760 Speaker 3: like no, no, she's just checking the mic, and I'm 1289 01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:12,560 Speaker 3: like wow. So, you know, like I just felt like, 1290 01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:14,720 Speaker 3: you know, people would look at the book and be like, 1291 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,200 Speaker 3: she doesn't know. No, I'm not getting it. And so 1292 01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:18,720 Speaker 3: I was like, well, maybe we could just do like 1293 01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,360 Speaker 3: you know whatever on the front cover. And I'm just 1294 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:25,360 Speaker 3: really grateful for like Marnie and Penguin and Heather, my agent, 1295 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,280 Speaker 3: for pushing me and saying you need to be on 1296 01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:31,400 Speaker 3: this cover. These are white women, you know. They were like, no, Tiffany, 1297 01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:34,320 Speaker 3: you need to be on this cover. Like women and 1298 01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:37,360 Speaker 3: black women, brown, everyone needs to see you on this cover. 1299 01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,560 Speaker 3: There needs to be a new face in personal finance, 1300 01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:42,680 Speaker 3: not just your face, but to crack open the door 1301 01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:44,480 Speaker 3: to say like I want to look on those shelves 1302 01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:48,040 Speaker 3: and see women. I want to see latinas, I want 1303 01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,360 Speaker 3: to see Asian men and women. I want to you know, 1304 01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:53,640 Speaker 3: there has to be, you know, like it's enough of 1305 01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:56,760 Speaker 3: just one type of voice. And so I'm just really 1306 01:01:56,760 --> 01:01:59,160 Speaker 3: grateful that you know, my big old smiling face. My 1307 01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,080 Speaker 3: sisters were like, y show too much gum, that's all. 1308 01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:03,520 Speaker 4: Can you imagine? Sisters? I have to look, I say, 1309 01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:05,600 Speaker 4: am I smiling too big? They're like, you are too smiling? 1310 01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,720 Speaker 4: Too big? I said, you all hate and sisters, but 1311 01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:08,600 Speaker 4: that's what, sisters, of. 1312 01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,640 Speaker 1: What There is no such thing as too much smile? 1313 01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:12,520 Speaker 4: Get out of here. 1314 01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:17,360 Speaker 1: Your number. You're number fifteen on Movers and Shakers. 1315 01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:20,080 Speaker 4: I wonder, man, joy, is that crazy? Yes? 1316 01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:24,160 Speaker 1: I know it's not crazy. I'm like, my face hurts, 1317 01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:26,320 Speaker 1: and also I'm getting like teary eyed. You're number thirty 1318 01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:28,920 Speaker 1: five on bestsellers period. 1319 01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,080 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I just don't even know what that means. 1320 01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:34,480 Speaker 1: It's not easy being a bunny is number one, but like. 1321 01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:38,360 Speaker 3: Whatever, you know what, I'm not even mad because Easter's 1322 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:38,840 Speaker 3: coming up. 1323 01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:41,560 Speaker 4: But you know what, First of all, the fact that 1324 01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:43,320 Speaker 4: it's not easy being a buddy is number one. 1325 01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,720 Speaker 1: That is a second, is this like among the books 1326 01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:48,640 Speaker 1: that Mandy typically buys, because these are all children's books, 1327 01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:52,200 Speaker 1: like in the top ten whatever whatever, Like your face 1328 01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:53,040 Speaker 1: is there? 1329 01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:54,120 Speaker 4: Can you imagine? 1330 01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,440 Speaker 3: And so like yeah, so I just wanted to just 1331 01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,440 Speaker 3: say like that was the boost that like, man, if 1332 01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:01,040 Speaker 3: there ever was a go for a moment, I hope 1333 01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:04,480 Speaker 3: that I can be an example like cis go for it. 1334 01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:07,600 Speaker 3: You know, you just don't know. I know right now 1335 01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,000 Speaker 3: there's a lot of tearing down because of meaning like 1336 01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:13,160 Speaker 3: pandemic quarantine, that there was a lot of broken Like 1337 01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,600 Speaker 3: I had a thing and it's broken. This is actually 1338 01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:18,360 Speaker 3: the best time to rebuild the thing you actually wanted, 1339 01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:21,160 Speaker 3: you know, Like that's why I remember thinking that when 1340 01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,800 Speaker 3: I lost everything during the last for session, I said, Tiffany, 1341 01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,040 Speaker 3: you can rebuild the exact same house that you lived 1342 01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:28,920 Speaker 3: in before, or you can actually go for the thing 1343 01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:31,320 Speaker 3: you actually wanted that you were too afraid to walk 1344 01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:33,720 Speaker 3: away from this life for. And I was like, you 1345 01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:35,160 Speaker 3: know what, I'm going to go for it. I'm going 1346 01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:38,160 Speaker 3: to build a life that actually secretly wanted. And you know, 1347 01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,680 Speaker 3: I'm I'm not fully living in now, because you know, 1348 01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,840 Speaker 3: I'd be overworking because you know, just team too much. 1349 01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:46,560 Speaker 3: But I am much closer than like you know, I 1350 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:51,800 Speaker 3: am at least living the professional life that I never 1351 01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,640 Speaker 3: dreamed of. I'm just like realigning my personal life to 1352 01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:57,120 Speaker 3: like not hold myself to such not to say high expectation, 1353 01:03:57,200 --> 01:03:59,880 Speaker 3: but like you know, not overwork myself. But like ultimately, 1354 01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:01,080 Speaker 3: I just never thought stuff like. 1355 01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:04,800 Speaker 4: This was possible. And so yeah, just that was my boost, 1356 01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:09,040 Speaker 4: like causual, just a little boost. Yeah yeah, yeah. 1357 01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:10,800 Speaker 3: Now here's the thing you might check when y'all want, 1358 01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:13,320 Speaker 3: when y'all listen, this is Monday. I can't promise, well, 1359 01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,760 Speaker 3: Wednesday gonna look like when you go to see my numbers, 1360 01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:19,320 Speaker 3: but at least for this weekend and today, you know 1361 01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:23,240 Speaker 3: you put my love on top, baby, I love. 1362 01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:25,760 Speaker 1: I hope Oprah's watch. 1363 01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:30,320 Speaker 4: Hey, I want to be called Auntie. Hey miss Oprah. 1364 01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:36,040 Speaker 1: So you know people at Oprah's favorite things. I don't know. Well, 1365 01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:38,840 Speaker 1: it feels like, yes, March is the book is the 1366 01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:40,959 Speaker 1: is the month for new books. I feel like there's 1367 01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,680 Speaker 1: so many great I've had that pre ordered for a 1368 01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:45,280 Speaker 1: long time. I'm sitting here like maybe I should pre 1369 01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:47,600 Speaker 1: order some more copies, Like what else can I do? 1370 01:04:48,320 --> 01:04:48,520 Speaker 4: Yeah? 1371 01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:51,200 Speaker 1: So so happy for you, congrats. I can't wait. So 1372 01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:53,720 Speaker 1: the book is the March thirtieth, right, Yeah, March Thurday 1373 01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:58,400 Speaker 1: comes up? Okay, So excited for you to Thanks for 1374 01:04:58,440 --> 01:04:59,080 Speaker 1: sharing that. 1375 01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:00,000 Speaker 4: No, thank you. 1376 01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:03,720 Speaker 1: All right, well that is the show, another one for 1377 01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:04,440 Speaker 1: the books. 1378 01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,080 Speaker 4: Yes, indeed, all right. 1379 01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:13,360 Speaker 1: Take care okay friend, if you're vaccinated. It feels like 1380 01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,560 Speaker 1: the light is at the end of the tunnel soon. 1381 01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:16,720 Speaker 1: Just hang in there, y'all,