1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Terry, I'm Andrea, and I'm Emerson And this 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: is our x y Z bonus episode of desperately Devoted Congratulations. 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: You made it to the bonus. 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 3: We like to pick out something that felt like we 5 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,479 Speaker 3: should pay it a little bit more attention. A theme 6 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 3: that came up in this week's episode that we want 7 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,920 Speaker 3: to discuss a little bit more that might have been 8 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 3: a little bit juicy. 9 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 4: And in this X y Z we are talking about 10 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 4: sexual surrogacy. 11 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: And is it a thing? 12 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 2: What the hell is that? 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: Even? 14 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 3: Wait? 15 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 2: Does that mean? 16 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 3: Because I needed a sexual surrogate to explain to me 17 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:34,879 Speaker 3: what a sexual surrogate is. 18 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: But basically this, this is a real job where people 19 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: come in and teach couples that need help with their 20 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: sexuality together how to do it. And so it makes 21 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: me how to do it right? 22 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 2: How to do it right? 23 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,240 Speaker 3: How to do it well? 24 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: I feel like I've just lowered my voice for this 25 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: for this bonus sexy juicy episode. But in this episode, 26 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: it was Bri and Rex that or exploring the idea 27 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: of if they needed help to improve their sex life. So, 28 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: I mean, somebody start, how has everybody whoever needed help 29 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: with their sex life? 30 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,199 Speaker 2: In this room. 31 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 4: Gotten it well, I think, I mean, thanks mom for 32 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 4: kicking that. 33 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 2: Question over way. 34 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: Is this even legal to have this conversation with your 35 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: own child. 36 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 3: It's great. I think it's great. 37 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 2: It's great. I'm sorry, we'll find out. 38 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 3: I think it's important to have an open line of 39 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 3: dialogue with If you have that kind of relationship with 40 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 3: your mom, which you guys do. You know, you have 41 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 3: a lot of respect for each other, and you probably 42 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 3: feel like safe spaces for one another. And I always 43 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 3: appreciated my mom was very open minded with me with 44 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 3: having conversations. I think it's different. I hear my sisters, 45 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 3: my older sister's perspectives, and I think she got increasingly 46 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 3: open minded. And I was the I benefited from being. 47 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: The youngest, and my mom never said anything. I mean, 48 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 1: honestly like it. 49 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 4: You have any idea what happen when you lost your virginity? 50 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 4: How did you learn that? No? 51 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: In fact, I think I didn't know what a condom was. 52 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: In fact, I think the first time I was going 53 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: to have sex as a high school student in my parents' house, 54 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: in their waterbed. 55 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 4: I love that you went to their bedroom. Well, it's 56 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 4: a bold move. 57 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what, Emerson. 58 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 2: It was a waterbed, it was. 59 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: Yes, But I was looking for a condom because I had, 60 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: you know, I guess i'd been told from I don't know, 61 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: high school that you should have a condom, but I 62 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: didn't know what they were or what they looked like. 63 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: And so I was looking in my parents' drawers like 64 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,239 Speaker 1: to see if there was anything. And still to this day, 65 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: I've never told this story to anyone. I found this 66 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: thing that was like a white like almost like a 67 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: band aid, like a like a like but like thicker 68 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: than a band aid, but like about like I'm putting 69 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: my two fingers like. It was like maybe three or 70 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 1: four inches long, and it looked like and came in plastic, 71 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: you know, like you would unwrap it. And I had it. 72 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: I had that you. I had it in my head 73 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: that maybe you put it over the tip of the 74 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: penis like to keep the like you guys, this is 75 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: out inexperienced sex. So of course I didn't use that. 76 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: And no, I didn't get a condom, so I didn't 77 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: use one. 78 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 4: Oh my god, yeah, he didn't bring a condom. No, 79 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 4: you invited him into your parents' waterbud and he didn't 80 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 4: bring a condom. 81 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: I don't remember parable. I just know that I'm lucky 82 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: I got out alive. 83 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:29,239 Speaker 2: That's all lucky. I'm here today to talk about any 84 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 2: of it. 85 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: If we're really going to examine my sexual history, it's 86 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: just you know, yeah, it's filled with error. 87 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 4: Wow. 88 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. 89 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 3: Did you feel comfortable? Did you have conversations growing up 90 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: Emerson freely openly about sex and being curious about sex, 91 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 3: or did you feel any shame about talking about it 92 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 3: or embarrassment? 93 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 4: You know, I mean a combination of both of those things. 94 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 2: I think. 95 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 4: I feel like I did grow up generally between both 96 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 4: my mom and dad, like in pretty sex positive, like 97 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 4: households that you know, didn't attach a lot of shame 98 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 4: to you know, even when even when you think about, 99 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 4: you know, parents who are uncomfortable, like sitting through a 100 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 4: sex scene in a movie with their kids, I feel 101 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 4: like I always felt slightly more like that wasn't something 102 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 4: that was horrible or abnormal, or like you couldn't, you know, 103 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 4: do if that came up in a movie or something. 104 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 4: And I mean when I was really little, before any 105 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 4: feelings of sexuality really start to emerge, I feel like 106 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 4: I lived in a very naked positive house. I was like, 107 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 4: definitely the kid running around naked all the time. 108 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 2: My parents actually did rend this song. 109 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think I started at it and 110 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 1: beautiful and full of inspiration. 111 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 2: Wow. 112 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: So we we lived in New York at the time, 113 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: and she was like a little toddler and and she 114 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: would run around and we would sing that. I think 115 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 1: I made that. 116 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure what a banger. 117 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, pretty sure that came from me, and I do 118 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 1: I still sing that to myself. And I have to say, 119 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: I think that level of openness just around like body 120 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: and you know, asking. 121 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 2: Questions of like what is a vagina? Like what is 122 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 2: a penie? 123 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 3: Like? 124 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 4: I feel like those things were always talked about. That said, 125 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 4: I do think when I started to explore feel like 126 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 4: more sexual feelings, you know when you're a preteen or 127 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 4: whatever and you're like having your first kiss or whatever. 128 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 2: I did feel a little. 129 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 4: Bit uncomfortable talking about that at home, not because anyone 130 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 4: said you can't talk about that, but because I think 131 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,919 Speaker 4: it's a I empathize with the tightrope it is to 132 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 4: walk as a parent of what do you normalize and 133 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 4: how do you want to protect, you know, your kid 134 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 4: from things you think that they're doing too soon. 135 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,679 Speaker 2: It's totally a balance. 136 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's totally abalance if someone's too hyped, Like if 137 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 3: someone if my mom or my dad was like too positive, 138 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 3: I would shut down for sure. I'd be like, this 139 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 3: is mortifying. I don't but it's a if they were 140 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 3: they if they were totally closed door on it, then 141 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 3: I would I would hate that, right, So I do 142 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,359 Speaker 3: think there's a balance. 143 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 1: Does do you remember I know, Okay, In our episode 144 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,839 Speaker 1: of Desperately Devoted, I talked about a memory of being 145 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: in my early twenties and having a friend at some 146 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:21,040 Speaker 1: big party out in Malibu, being on the sand at 147 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,359 Speaker 1: a table and teaching a bunch of girls how to 148 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: give a blowjob on a beer bottle. 149 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 4: And how many men were standing next to the table 150 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 4: watching this down. 151 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: No, I don't have a recollection of any men being around, 152 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 1: but maybe that I think I was just with girls. 153 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 2: Actually, we were filming it for this site called only. 154 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: Fans, which didn't exist then, so we were not anyway, 155 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: And I think that made us think about, oh, there's 156 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 1: a there's a broader conversation here, but do you recall 157 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,719 Speaker 1: how you learned how to have sex? Other than the 158 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 1: book that I bought you when you turned eighteen. 159 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 4: Yes, which I had had sex before that book arrived. 160 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 3: What's the book? 161 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 2: The book? 162 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 4: Okay, the book my mom got me when I was eighteen, 163 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,359 Speaker 4: which I think was like a year going off to college. 164 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 2: You know what. Empowered? 165 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 3: Be empowered, you're beautiful, naked and inspired or whatever. 166 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, full of inspiration. The book was called The Art of. 167 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 4: Sexual Ecstasy, and honestly it was a very like Comma 168 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 4: Sutra inspired a book. I think it's highly ambitious. I 169 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 4: did not really crack that book open in earnest until 170 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 4: I was in my twenties and like kind of out 171 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 4: of college, although I think I definitely leafed through it 172 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 4: a bit. I think it's very vulnerable to you know, 173 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 4: pull out a textbook when you're with a partner and go, 174 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 4: do you want to try page you know, sixty nine, and. 175 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 2: It's why that one spring that one? 176 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 4: You don't need it really a book for that one's 177 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 4: pretty self explanatory. They're much more complex positions in the book. 178 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 4: I think another book that I have found actually like 179 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 4: just recently in my life that is less although it 180 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 4: does get into I think more and it's very hetero. 181 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 4: It's much more it was written at a time it's 182 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 4: much more focused on male and female relationships, but I 183 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 4: think it can apply to all types of relationships. Is 184 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 4: a book called Passionate Marriage, which makes a really interesting 185 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 4: argument for the idea that real intimacy and ultimately super 186 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 4: free and invigorating sex comes from emotional intimacy first. And 187 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 4: I think that is something that we don't teach. I 188 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 4: feel like we teach the mechanics maybe of this is 189 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 4: how you give a blowjob, this is how you know 190 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 4: you have penetrative. 191 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: Sex, this is what a condom looks like. 192 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 2: I remember, not a band aid. 193 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 4: I remember googling, like in like reading a Cosmo art 194 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 4: about like how I actually remember this when I was 195 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 4: dating men, googling a Cosmo article about how to give 196 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 4: a woman head because I wanted to be able to 197 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,839 Speaker 4: more clearly ask for what I wanted from a guy 198 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 4: going down on me. And then that article has been 199 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 4: immensely helpful in other ways now in my life dating women. 200 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 4: But I think it is interesting to name. I think 201 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 4: there's much more research done on naming the mechanics of 202 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 4: things that can feel good or do feel good, or 203 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 4: this is how you do it, but I think not 204 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,960 Speaker 4: a lot. And I'm enjoying this book Passionate Marriage right now, 205 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,679 Speaker 4: there's not a lot of emphasis put on sex really 206 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 4: as an outcome of merging emotional intimacy and starting with 207 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 4: even if it's like talking through your sexual fantasies, not 208 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 4: even touching each other, just being in an intimate setting 209 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 4: and being vulnerable enough to say what really turns you 210 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 4: on or what you would like and letting that conversation 211 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 4: evolve into a desire to be close to someone you 212 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 4: have a deep emotional connection with, and then that segueing 213 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 4: into sex with orgasm even like an additional outcome after that. 214 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 4: I think we're so orgasm centric, so much so, and 215 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 4: it's so you know, great, but like not at all 216 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 4: the main act. 217 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 2: I think of sex, and I feel like I'm still. 218 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: Well, I only have a relationship with a machine at 219 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:33,439 Speaker 1: this point, it is the main act and it is 220 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: all that matters. 221 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 2: Wait, let's talk. 222 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 3: About that a little bit, because I do think that, 223 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 3: you know, we're focusing a lot on partnered sex, but 224 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:44,600 Speaker 3: I think that often people's first experiences by themselves, you know, 225 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 3: they're exploring their sexual side with masturbating, with masturbating. Yeah, 226 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 3: and so when you mentioned a machine, is that, yeah, mubating. 227 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 3: It's also not a pleasant word, like can we I mean. 228 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: Do I've had I've had disturbating it's your Yeah, I've 229 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 1: had many vibrators of the many years. But I have 230 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: one that I've had for many many years, like too 231 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: many years, loyal and I'm loyal to this one. 232 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 2: They still make it. 233 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: No, it's from Sharper Image and it actually has a plug. 234 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,439 Speaker 2: Like Sharper Image. 235 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know the store with. 236 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:17,359 Speaker 2: The back stuff. Yeah, and they made like vibrators. 237 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: Well no, they made like shoulder massages that were in 238 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: the shape of something you liked. 239 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 2: Why vibrators, But I. 240 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 3: Think everyone used them for that. I don't think people 241 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 3: use them for back massaging. 242 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, No, they were. They they people pretended to buy 243 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,440 Speaker 1: them for their shoulders and then they used them on 244 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,960 Speaker 1: other parts. But the thing that's funny about it is 245 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: like most vibrators these days are all like come, they 246 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: charge in a USB and they and they you know, 247 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: they have batteries or whatever. Mine still has a plug 248 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: like I'm I'm tethered to the electric outlet by with 249 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 1: my with my uh hot so hot. 250 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 4: So this is a bad idea for us to be 251 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 4: doing this bonus episode. 252 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 1: And not only am I tethered to the electric outlet. 253 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: I you know, after I've I've enjoyed the part of 254 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: it that I need to enjoy, then the whole point 255 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: of masturbating for me anyway, is to have the release 256 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: that makes you allowed to relax, you know, like you're 257 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 1: in that sort of that that bliss that everybody blissed 258 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: out place. But I am so afraid that I might 259 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 1: like drop dead in the middle of the night that 260 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: I have to then get up and take the vibrator 261 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: across the room and hide it in a drawer, because 262 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to be found dead with an electric 263 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: plug vibrator. 264 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,559 Speaker 2: It looks like it's just a back massager. 265 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: Also, I have to say, I think that's what anybody 266 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: would think I was doing. 267 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 3: I think that's an iconic way to go, Like, I 268 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 3: hope that's not how you go. But I do think 269 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 3: that if one discovered someone some lady and she's there 270 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 3: with her vibrator and they're like, and now that's how 271 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 3: she died, I'd go kudos, Okay for. 272 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 2: Maybe I won't get up and put it in. 273 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 1: The drawer anymore. 274 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 3: I want to say, I want to add to. 275 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 2: This conversation because how do you get off Andrew? 276 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 3: Well, that's not where I was going to go with that, 277 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 3: but I was going to say that I don't have 278 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 3: that many interesting stories that I feel like, are that 279 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 3: scandalous about growing up as a teen in Hollywood? Because 280 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 3: I was pretty tame, right, I tried to be a 281 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,720 Speaker 3: pretty good girl. But I will say the first vibrator 282 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 3: that I ever saw owned had was given to me 283 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 3: at a gifting suite while you were doing Desperate house 284 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 3: while I was doing Desperate Housewives, was. 285 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 1: One of those platinum ones, those like kind of they. 286 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 3: Just look like they gave you the good ship. 287 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 4: This was just like me. 288 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 3: Because I do want to say this. I so these 289 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 3: these gifting suites are things that happen around award season 290 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:44,719 Speaker 3: usually where you can go to these rooms at a 291 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 3: hotel or a conference space and then they fill you 292 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 3: up with bags of free stuff and you take pictures 293 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,439 Speaker 3: with it and it helps them promote you know, their products, 294 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,559 Speaker 3: and then you get free stuff for being on a 295 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 3: show that is popular. It's kind of a weird them, 296 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 3: but anyway, I went to one of these gifting suites, 297 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 3: sometimes they gave you things in bags where you didn't 298 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 3: even see them necessarily, So this was one of those times. 299 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 3: I got home and I was unpacking the gifting suite 300 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 3: bag and there was this little item and I didn't 301 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 3: know what it was, you know, because like I said, 302 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 3: it didn't look like a penis or anything. It was 303 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 3: just like this little pink thing, and and I was 304 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 3: looking at it and I was like, huh, what is this? 305 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 3: And I touched it and it started vibrating, and then 306 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 3: I realized what it was, and I. 307 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 2: Oh, come on, you. 308 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: Too young? Too young. 309 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 3: I was so embarrassed by myself, going like what do 310 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 3: I do with this thing? And do I how do 311 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 3: I get rid of it? And and you know, I 312 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 3: kept thinking like did I poseiler? Yeah, that was your 313 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 3: that was your Season one rap gift, don't you remember, Terry. No, 314 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 3: But I didn't know what to do with it. And 315 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 3: then I was horrified that me I might like I 316 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 3: forgot that somehow I posed with it, because you know 317 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 3: how you have to like sometimes pose with the shampoo 318 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 3: that they give you or this or that that, And 319 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 3: I was like, did I pose with this weird thing? 320 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 3: But no, I don't think I ever did. It never 321 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 3: got out there, and but you know, that's kind of 322 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 3: a weird side of growing up in Hollywood. 323 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 2: Crazy. I'm so sad you didn't use it. 324 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 1: I'm sad you didn't keep it until a time where 325 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 1: you arrived at a point in your life where you 326 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: would have wanted to keep it. I think that was 327 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,600 Speaker 1: Is that like the hot bunny or what's the hot? 328 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 3: Like the little the rabbit? The rabbit? No, it didn't 329 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 3: have an interesting shape at all. There was nothing exciting 330 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 3: about it. 331 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 2: It was just crazy. 332 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: It was just crazy that they didn't realize they were 333 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 1: giving that to a miner. 334 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 2: That's insane. 335 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 3: I know, I'm you know, have the things that miners 336 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 3: were slipped at these parties. It's probably not that bad, 337 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 3: you know, in hindsight, Like people tried to serve me 338 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 3: alcohol all the time, things like that, and I would 339 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 3: have to, at my own discretion be like, yeah, no, 340 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 3: I'm not interested. 341 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: I keep telling everybody it's so amazing that she turned 342 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 1: out to be such a lovely human being. It is 343 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 1: hard to be raised as a child actor in Hollywood. 344 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 1: So okay, well I'm just going to say I loved 345 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 1: our first X y Z episode, and I find that 346 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 1: that you and I were I'm happy to go down 347 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 1: this awkward road with you. I think we're going to 348 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 1: learn a lot here we go. 349 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 4: Let's link arms and skip down the road of uncomfortable conversations. 350 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 4: You can't wait because I'm so desperately devoted to you, listeners. 351 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 2: I'm going to do this with my mother. God help 352 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 2: us all. 353 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 3: We're blushing, but we're happy. 354 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 1: We're blushing and happy and we hope that we hope 355 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: you enjoyed it. So we'll see you next week. 356 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 3: Thanks for coming to our Blowness episode, I mean bonus episode, 357 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 3: our Blowness episode.