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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast

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Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue.

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Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome in, everybody to Unbreakable, a

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Speaker 1: mental health podcast with Jay Glazer. I am your host,

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Speaker 1: Jay Glazer. And you know, for those who don't know

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Speaker 1: why I'm doing a mental health podcast when you see

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Speaker 1: on Foxing about Sunday and Fallers and Mitch Martial Arts.

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Speaker 1: For years, I've gone on all those TV shows and

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Speaker 1: I've hidden the fact that I've lived in something called

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Speaker 1: the gray my entire life, which is depression anxiety UM

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Speaker 1: a d D. Throwing a little bipolar while we're at it.

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Speaker 1: And I wrote a book about it earlier this year

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Speaker 1: called Unbreakable How I turned my depression anxiety into motivation

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Speaker 1: and you can too. And my depression and anxiety UM

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Speaker 1: has been a fight for me every day in my life.

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Speaker 1: That led me then to literally go fight. And I

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Speaker 1: felt self worth of going into a cage getting beaten

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Speaker 1: up by other men. And I didn't feel lovable. I

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Speaker 1: didn't feel worthy of being loved, but I felt it

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Speaker 1: in a cage, which is well, let's put it frankly,

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Speaker 1: how funked up is that that's where I got male love.

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Speaker 1: And one of the guys who was very proud to

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Speaker 1: beat the hell out of me on a daily basis

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Speaker 1: for a long time is my guests here. That is

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Speaker 1: the UFC six time World Champ Hall of Famer, my

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Speaker 1: brother and co creator with me of M M A Athletics,

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Speaker 1: Randy Kator. My dude, how are you? How? I am

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Speaker 1: doing great? And so a lot of people don't realize

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Speaker 1: the reason why it was okay for me to start

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Speaker 1: talking openly is Randy and I would be in the

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Speaker 1: cage and we beat the ship at each other and

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Speaker 1: then after we would just sit and talk about life

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Speaker 1: and cry and just open up. And it was like, man,

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Speaker 1: no one's question our manhood. So we could start open

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Speaker 1: up about these things. And I wish we did it

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Speaker 1: long ago, Randy, really do. I wish I wish I'd

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Speaker 1: come out and you've been writing poetry about it now.

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Speaker 1: You know I hit it for all those years, man,

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Speaker 1: And I don't think I hit it from you. I

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Speaker 1: don't think I hid my pain from you, right like

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Speaker 1: you know, you know I wasn't that kind of pain.

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Speaker 1: It's that's what's the interesting about this whole thing. And man,

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you how proud I am you for

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Speaker 1: the book and how good the book is. It really

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Speaker 1: is amazing. As someone who's never struggled with the gray,

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Speaker 1: and I probably had every excuse the reason to be depressed,

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Speaker 1: or I certainly have those same feelings of I wasn't

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Speaker 1: good enough, I wasn't good enough for my own dad,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't good enough, you know, for for a lot

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Speaker 1: of people. So I certainly know that internal struggle. But

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Speaker 1: you do, you have this outgoing, gregarious, loving crazy. Is

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Speaker 1: any personality that I think, in a lot of ways

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Speaker 1: is upfront is a cover for the gray? Is? It

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Speaker 1: is a cover for you know, anybody that met you

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Speaker 1: would never think that you struggle with anxiety or depression.

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Speaker 1: That's just the way it is. And so for you

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Speaker 1: to Frank we have the balls to step up and

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Speaker 1: show that side of yourself, to show that vulnerability is

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Speaker 1: is pretty incredible. And I think there's a whole bunch

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Speaker 1: of folks out there that can relate to that. And

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Speaker 1: for me, it gave me a perspective because I have friends,

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Speaker 1: other friends who were more open about being depressed, being

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Speaker 1: you know, having anxiety and stuff like that. My sister

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Speaker 1: struggles with that. It's something that somebody who's never struggled

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Speaker 1: with it has trouble comprehending, has trouble figuring out what

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Speaker 1: that means, how that works. And that was one of

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Speaker 1: the things that was very enlightening for me, and reading

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Speaker 1: your book and how well you put it out there,

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Speaker 1: so that even someone like myself we never really struggled

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Speaker 1: with that. There there have been a couple of moments,

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Speaker 1: and you and I have talked about these moments pretty dark.

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Speaker 1: I don't talk about them with a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: certainly because it's not a comfortable thing to talk about

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Speaker 1: unless some are you really trust, and certainly I trust you,

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Speaker 1: and you and I have shared a lot of things, mistakes,

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Speaker 1: things were not happy about, things in our lives that

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Speaker 1: we struggle with, for sure. But it's one of those

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Speaker 1: things that your book gave me a new perspective on

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Speaker 1: folks and struggle with that every single day, trying to

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Speaker 1: give the words. And that's what I'm doing. Like we

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Speaker 1: talked about mental health, but who gives it words? I

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Speaker 1: want to give it words so we could have these conversations.

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Speaker 1: And like you said, listen, you don't struggle with the

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Speaker 1: gray as far as you don't have depression and anxiety.

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Speaker 1: But I want everybody to hear what he also said,

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Speaker 1: he's had dark times. That's the gray, the dark moments.

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Speaker 1: The gray isn't It's not just depression anxiety, it's whenever

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Speaker 1: you know it decides these these dark moments in our lives,

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Speaker 1: decide to pull up a chair at our dinner table

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Speaker 1: and throw our worlds upside down. And it sucks. And

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Speaker 1: how much this and your confidence to step up the

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Speaker 1: way you have this last year has come out of

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Speaker 1: the last six years working with m VP and sitting

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Speaker 1: in the huddle and not only watching some of these

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Speaker 1: soldiers and some of these other athletes bear their souls

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Speaker 1: and and let their demons out, but that's motivated you

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Speaker 1: and I in that circle to to open up and

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Speaker 1: share some of these things too with Frankly, some people

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Speaker 1: maybe we didn't know that well, but because we were

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Speaker 1: in at huddle and in that circle, we felt comfortable

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Speaker 1: enough to open up and show that vulnerability too. And

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Speaker 1: and now look at you. I mean, you're you're running

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Speaker 1: a podcast where you have a top ten best selling

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Speaker 1: book about it. I mean, it's pretty remarkable. It's fucking

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Speaker 1: really remarkable. And you know, again I I kind of

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Speaker 1: look at it in our damage. We have damage that

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Speaker 1: led us into a cage. Right, You're not fucking normal.

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Speaker 1: I'm not normal. Then we go and go, oh, let's

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Speaker 1: go step into a cage and this guy is allowed

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Speaker 1: to fucking kill me. And you know, it's at eleven

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Speaker 1: o'clock on Saturday night in front of the world to see,

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Speaker 1: and even when the world doesn't see, when we're just sparring,

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Speaker 1: you and I rite, it's just it's not fucking normal.

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Speaker 1: But I've turned that into being proud, Like I'm proud

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Speaker 1: and I'm not normal, Like, motherfucker, I'm different, and different

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Speaker 1: is good. Different leads to success. Did you when you

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Speaker 1: first started fighting, did you feel proud of it? Did

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Speaker 1: you feel like, man, I'm I'm really funked up. I

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Speaker 1: mean that first time walking out there. Obvious you have

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Speaker 1: been wrestling and wrestling at a high level for a

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Speaker 1: very long time, but this was a whole new animal

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Speaker 1: walking out of that tunnel in front of all those

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Speaker 1: crazy fans that you know, they get they get rabbit

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Speaker 1: at these events. They're literally trying to rip your clothes

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Speaker 1: off of your steal your hats. I mean, it's a

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Speaker 1: crazy scene and it's surreal that first time I was

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Speaker 1: scared to death. Literally, I'm not sure what I had

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Speaker 1: gotten myself into. But yeah, you keep marching forward, you

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Speaker 1: keep doing what you're doing, and somehow we get off

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Speaker 1: on the pain that the average person is going to

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Speaker 1: shy away from those situations, and that house somehow makes

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Speaker 1: us feel alive, makes us feel things that maybe you're

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Speaker 1: buried down there so far that it takes something that

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Speaker 1: extreme to bring some of that up. So here's here's

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Speaker 1: where you here's where you change my life. Right, I

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Speaker 1: will let you know where you change my life. When

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Speaker 1: I started finding I went into the cage feeling that

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Speaker 1: I deserve two loops. So you do all this, you know,

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Speaker 1: mental motivation, where you you've he fought to fight a

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Speaker 1: million times in your brain. I used to go in

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Speaker 1: to lose. I felt myself worth. I felt that guy

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Speaker 1: across from me it was more worthy to win than

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Speaker 1: I was. And I've tried to explain this to football coaches.

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Speaker 1: Imagine every game you go out there and you'll never

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Speaker 1: I think you're worthy of making a first down. We're

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Speaker 1: a touchdown, and if you do, it's because you got lucky.

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Speaker 1: But man, you just didn't deserve that. And yet I

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Speaker 1: still walked in there all the time with you all.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I started training with you where

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Speaker 1: you shifted it for me, and you got me to

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Speaker 1: not only see that I'm I deserve to win, but

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Speaker 1: to almost take the ego out of like your whole

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Speaker 1: mantra and the way we train people together now and

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Speaker 1: unbreakable is funk winning or losing. We're just gonna be

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Speaker 1: so relentless that we're gonna make it a bad afternoon

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Speaker 1: forever's across from us. And it just shifted everything. It

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Speaker 1: took the ego out and took this shame out of

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Speaker 1: it that I had, Randy, And if I ever told

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Speaker 1: you this, but man, you just you changed my life then.

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Speaker 1: And I just and you've seen me now wrestled what

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Speaker 1: thousands of NFL players, and you know everybody from Andrew Worth,

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Speaker 1: the Lane Johnson to Kyle Long to Ode Beckham to

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Speaker 1: play Matthews to Jared out and you name it right

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Speaker 1: after every one of them. I want to have that

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Speaker 1: confidence that I deserved to win. It wasn't for you. Well,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that, man, and it's such an interesting thing.

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Speaker 1: I obviously never knew you that you were operating before

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Speaker 1: that and in that capacity that you didn't deserve to

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Speaker 1: have the success. I saw the work, you know. The

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Speaker 1: first time we rolled together was at the set for

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Speaker 1: the Ultimately back in the day, and I saw this

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Speaker 1: guy that that was putting in work, that that was

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Speaker 1: enjoying that journey of sweating and bleeding and being on

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Speaker 1: that Matt, and I felt a kindred spirit to you

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Speaker 1: and that because that's why why I was there. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, that was cathartic for me. The rest of

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Speaker 1: the world goes away when we're engaged and we're punching

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Speaker 1: each other, we're grappling a rolling. All the worries, the bills,

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Speaker 1: the in anything, the fight with your girlfriend or your

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Speaker 1: wife or whatever, it all goes away in that moment.

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Speaker 1: That's why that's so relaxing and refreshing. And I've always

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Speaker 1: got a big smile on my face there because that's

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Speaker 1: where I love to be. It's a really interesting your

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Speaker 1: perspective and and that shift that came through that for you. Also,

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Speaker 1: I learned I learned exactly what you said because you

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Speaker 1: had you fought tim Sylvia, and we won't get into

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Speaker 1: what happened, but beforehand, you got hit with legal papers,

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Speaker 1: and you know, you go down. And people don't know

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Speaker 1: this where he gets hit with legal papers and he

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Speaker 1: goes down and he fights a guy that's a footfaller

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Speaker 1: than him and eighty pounds every year, and he is

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Speaker 1: smiling the whole way and he beats the dog Funck

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Speaker 1: and at sim Sylvia from the heavyweight championship of the

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Speaker 1: world at forty four years of age. Forty four years

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Speaker 1: of age. And I said to him, after, bro, how

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Speaker 1: did you do that? How were you able to compartmentalize

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Speaker 1: like that? Do you remember your line? Uh? Why? I

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Speaker 1: know that certainly putting things in boxes and shoving them

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Speaker 1: to the side so we can stay laser focused on

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Speaker 1: exactly what a task at handed. Your your line was

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Speaker 1: that cage is the only place my problems can't touch me, right,

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, if we could

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Speaker 1: teach this to other people. You find that happy place

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Speaker 1: where you give yourself a break. For people like Randy

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Speaker 1: and I, it's a cage, but everybody out there find

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Speaker 1: a place for an hour a day your problems just

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Speaker 1: can't touch you. The fact that it's for you going

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Speaker 1: against the guy like a giant like Tim Sylvia, you're

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Speaker 1: really fucked up. I want people here to here. Also

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Speaker 1: because Randy and I part of mental health. It's not

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Speaker 1: just battling the gray. It's a fight I've turned into

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Speaker 1: a fight, damn r have. But it's also kind of

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Speaker 1: mental fitness, right. It's it's lifting ourselves up. It's even

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Speaker 1: when we're in the blue, how to get that blue

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Speaker 1: even brighter. So Randy and I, like I said, we

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Speaker 1: started training guys. Oh man, I stopped fighting. Fox made

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Speaker 1: me stop fighting an O four, but I couldn't stop

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Speaker 1: like I need this team. So I learned how to

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Speaker 1: start coaching. And I learned a lot from Randy. Another

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Speaker 1: gray thing you taught me is don't tell what you

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Speaker 1: don't want, tell what you want, yes, always speaking in

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Speaker 1: the positive. I learned this a hard way coach in

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Speaker 1: an Oregon state. Your brain is a very weird thing,

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Speaker 1: and your subconscious brain, especially picking up a hundred bits

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Speaker 1: of information you know every second, way faster than your

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Speaker 1: conscious brain. Your subconscious picks up way way more and

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Speaker 1: you get gut feelings about things about people and learning

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Speaker 1: to tune into that and and read that is a

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Speaker 1: huge thing. But recognizing that we control our subconscious voice,

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Speaker 1: so many of us react to that voice, and that

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Speaker 1: voice I call in. My crazy roommate says shipped to

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Speaker 1: me that nobody in their right mind would say to

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Speaker 1: my face and not expect to get smacked in the mouth.

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Speaker 1: That's how our our internal dialogue is for a lot

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Speaker 1: of us, and we don't recognize that we control that

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Speaker 1: internal dialogue. So many of us react to that internal

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Speaker 1: dialogue instead of shutting it down and giving it affirmations

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Speaker 1: and positive things to say. When you give your conscious

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Speaker 1: voice and your subconscious voice to say the same thing,

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Speaker 1: you are worse to be reckoned with. And you have

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Speaker 1: to recognize that. I wish i'd recognized earlier in my

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Speaker 1: life that I control that voice. That voice does not

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Speaker 1: control me. I get to step behind that voice anytime

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Speaker 1: I want, let it chatter, let us say anything it wants,

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Speaker 1: and especially when the pressure gets turned up. You're going

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Speaker 1: into fight week, You've done all the work. But if

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Speaker 1: you listen to that voice, all the what ifs come in?

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Speaker 1: What if he does this? What if I get tired?

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Speaker 1: What if the rough makes a bad call? And you

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Speaker 1: can live in that what f will forever and now

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Speaker 1: you're nervous, and nervous has a negative implication to it.

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Speaker 1: I'm never nervous before a fight. I know I've done

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Speaker 1: the work. I'm sided. Everybody freaks out because I'm walking

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Speaker 1: out of that tunnel smiling that you're sleeping back down.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy, ready fall asleep and everybody else is warming up.

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Speaker 1: It's unfucking believable. But I've seen the fight a hundred

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Speaker 1: times before I ever walked out of that tunnel. I'm

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Speaker 1: confident in my plan. I know I did everything I

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Speaker 1: know how to do to prepare myself to go out

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Speaker 1: and win that fight. Is there a guarantee I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: win that fight? Hell no, But that's the nature of

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Speaker 1: our sport. So I have to be comfortable in the

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Speaker 1: work that I put in and who I am and

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Speaker 1: my plan and walk out there and smile and let

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Speaker 1: it hang out and use the gifts that God gave

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Speaker 1: me and do exactly what I worked so hard to do.

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Speaker 1: That's what it's all about. That's about being in the zone,

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Speaker 1: about machine, being in that zen place where everything slows

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Speaker 1: down and you see it coming and you execute everything

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Speaker 1: you're trained to do perfectly. That's what we're all trying

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Speaker 1: to achieve, is that flow state and man learning control

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Speaker 1: that internal dialogue is a huge piece of that puzzle.

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Speaker 1: Out happen to write that down on five three five cards,

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Speaker 1: put it in my gym back, I put it in

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Speaker 1: my locker, I put it on my mirror. What exactly

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Speaker 1: did you? What did you write exactly? At first, for me,

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Speaker 1: it was simply breathe, move your feet, breathe depressed, keep

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Speaker 1: your feet moving. As long as I was moving, if

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Speaker 1: I didn't stop and let that guy did take the dance,

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Speaker 1: then I was a good chance that I was gonna win.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna put myself in a better position a minute.

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Speaker 1: So the early affirmations were simply just to keep me

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Speaker 1: moving and breathing in that circumstance. And then as I

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Speaker 1: got better at it and I didn't need the three

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Speaker 1: by five cards anymore, those affirmations were there that little

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Speaker 1: boys start chattering, stop and I'd start reciting those affirmations.

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Speaker 1: Breathe deep, nice deep, breast, center yourself, you know, keep

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Speaker 1: your feet moving, stay focused, simple things, they're not difficult things.

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Speaker 1: And share those with whoever's in your corner. For me

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Speaker 1: it was you a lot of times, or or some

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Speaker 1: of the other guys on my team, that person that

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Speaker 1: you trust, that voice you're used to hearing. Maybe it's

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Speaker 1: your mother, maybe it's your grandmother, it doesn't really matter.

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Speaker 1: Share it to somebody who's close to you. The understands

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Speaker 1: and can see when you start to go off track,

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Speaker 1: when you start to let that voice take over and

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Speaker 1: lead the dance instead of leading the dance yourself and

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Speaker 1: sit down giving those positive things to say and get

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Speaker 1: yourself right back on track and being on point. And

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Speaker 1: we're talking about this folks in the fire world, Well,

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Speaker 1: this is exactly what you could use in the real world,

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Speaker 1: right down through your five And that's why I have

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Speaker 1: like pillars. Find your team, call your team, be of service. Laugh,

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Speaker 1: don't forget to laugh. Right, If we could write down

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Speaker 1: these pillars for you that can help you in anything,

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Speaker 1: for your job, for mental health, whatever it is. I

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Speaker 1: love this idea of writing them down on little cars,

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Speaker 1: three by five cards and put them all over the place.

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Speaker 1: Beautiful dash your car. You're gonna drive that to the

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Speaker 1: gym every single day. Put him where you brush your

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Speaker 1: teeth every morning and every night. Put it on your

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Speaker 1: nightstand where you shut that light off at night. You

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Speaker 1: see that affirmation, you see that positive thing that you're

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Speaker 1: instilling in that internal dialogue. So that this that comes

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Speaker 1: out of my mouth is the same that's going on

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Speaker 1: in here. Man, You're you're tough to deal with when

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Speaker 1: you got them both saying the same thing. I want

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Speaker 1: people to understand because because you said you're not nervous

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Speaker 1: going to fight, but you're scared. Anybody says there's not

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Speaker 1: a little bit of a little bit of fear involvement,

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Speaker 1: there is a sociopath. We'll all feel that little bit

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Speaker 1: of piersil. That's what motivates you to do the work,

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Speaker 1: That's what keeps you on point. You're not gonna go

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Speaker 1: willy nilly out there. You're gonna draw that map to

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Speaker 1: get to that success from where you're at, and you're

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Speaker 1: gonna stick to that map. And that's gonna allow you

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Speaker 1: to smile, relax, and go out and do what you're

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Speaker 1: trained to do. So I want people to understand it's

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Speaker 1: okay to be scared. All of us are a lot

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Speaker 1: of us come from the the mindset we're scared little

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Speaker 1: kids in there. We just want to be be letting that

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Speaker 1: fear you lock you up. And letting that fear, that

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Speaker 1: fear of losing, that fear of failing, keep you from

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Speaker 1: going out and doing what you're prepared to do, is

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Speaker 1: a whole different thing. But you've got to take that

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Speaker 1: fear and use it as gas. That's the motivation to

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Speaker 1: put yourself on the line and to do the work.

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Speaker 1: And a real warrior is not somebody who retires under feud.

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Speaker 1: A real warriors somebody who has no problem losing. Right,

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Speaker 1: they lose, and then hey, they just get right back in.

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Speaker 1: Every single win, every single loss, they all make you

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Speaker 1: equally warrior. I say this all the time. First of all,

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Speaker 1: my fight record is nineteen and eleven. Everybody talks about

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Speaker 1: six world championships. Yeah, that means I lost it at

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Speaker 1: least five times, asshole. And the truth is I lost

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Speaker 1: it all six, not about many all the time. It's

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Speaker 1: how you deal with the adversity of losing, how you

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Speaker 1: pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and figure out

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Speaker 1: how to go back out there and do better. Not

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Speaker 1: make those same mistakes. We all made mistakes, even in

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Speaker 1: the fights I won, I made mistakes. Did I go

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Speaker 1: back and watch those No, I got the outcome I wanted,

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Speaker 1: you can bet your ass. I watched the ones I

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Speaker 1: lost over and over and over because that's where I

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Speaker 1: was going to become better, a better athlete, and a

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Speaker 1: better human by embracing that vulnerability and embracing that adversity

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Speaker 1: in those mistakes. It was a huge part of my journey.

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Speaker 1: And I'm actually more proud of some of the fights

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Speaker 1: I lost I am some of the ones I won.

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Speaker 1: The Warrior, the first three letters of War. Right, You've

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Speaker 1: been through these wars that most people just aren't willing

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Speaker 1: to do. But I love about Miss Martial Arts. For me,

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Speaker 1: I was doing something of the world or unwilling or

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Speaker 1: able to do. Like we can get lucky in our

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Speaker 1: friends could if we can invest in the company, and

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Speaker 1: they could all of a sudden come out with something

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Speaker 1: that's like the next Google, Amazon, and we could be billionaires. Right,

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Speaker 1: But man, the nuttack. We have to have to be

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Speaker 1: able to do what we did and got laughed at

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Speaker 1: early on. There's no amount of money that could buy that.

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Speaker 1: So I started I started leaning into that, and that

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Speaker 1: goes into again that made me different. My injuries, my scars.

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Speaker 1: Every time I walked in a room and I'm like, man,

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Speaker 1: I have ruptured L for L five four times twice

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Speaker 1: next to this ticket over here, L one L two

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Speaker 1: three times, right, like broke my my my ankle twice. Man,

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Speaker 1: just located my elbow my nose seven times. My scars

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Speaker 1: or what makes me? Who the funk I am? My scars?

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Speaker 1: Or what makes me powerful? Not my successes? My scars? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think we have to be proud of those scars.

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Speaker 1: I walk around with this thing on the side of

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Speaker 1: my head. But there, you know, go to ther Bag,

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Speaker 1: go to Bulgaria, and they're gonna call you to the

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Speaker 1: front of the line if they see those califlower heres.

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Speaker 1: They're a badge of honor. I earned those, I earned

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Speaker 1: the respect it comes with those. So tell him, not

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Speaker 1: bothered by him. Tell people here because so Randy and

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Speaker 1: I again. Once I started coaching guys, and the first

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Speaker 1: guy we coach was Jared Allen, who was a part

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Speaker 1: time long snapper, a full time long snapper, part time

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Speaker 1: d n All of a sudden, he got fifteen sacks

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Speaker 1: and told the world, yeah, I got this from training

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Speaker 1: M A with Jay Glazer and Brandy couttur of these

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Speaker 1: guys and the floodgates kind of open. So we've trained

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Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of pro athletes. So Randy and I

396
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Speaker 1: then started doing teams. We did the Falcons twice, we

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Speaker 1: did the Rams one year, we did the Browns, we

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Speaker 1: did the Saints. But just tell people, man, I get

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Speaker 1: so charged up when you get up there in front

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Speaker 1: of that team, right and they say, Randy, you've got

401
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Speaker 1: a few minutes, right, talk to our troops, Talk to

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Speaker 1: our team. Take everybody through that. Yeah. Well, I mean,

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Speaker 1: most of these football players mistaken late look at football's

404
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Speaker 1: combative sport, and it absolutely is a combative sport. So

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Speaker 1: even though it's a team environment, there's ten other guys

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Speaker 1: out on that field. My perspective for these guys is, man,

407
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Speaker 1: you line up every every ball, every play, you line

408
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Speaker 1: up across somebody on the other side of that line.

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Speaker 1: That son of a bitch on the other side of

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Speaker 1: that line that you're keying off a better have the

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Speaker 1: worst game of football in his entire life, or you're

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Speaker 1: not doing your damn job. Your should be pushing him,

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Speaker 1: making everything painful, staying in his face. By the time

414
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Speaker 1: the fourth quarter rolls around, that guy should be so

415
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Speaker 1: sick of you being on his ass that he's done.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't want to play you anymore, he doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to play against you anymore. If you don't make that

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Speaker 1: guy quit, you are not doing your job. It's that simple.

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Speaker 1: Every time I walked on that mat or up in

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Speaker 1: that cage, my job was to make that motherfucker quit.

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Speaker 1: If I didn't make him quit, and I didn't do

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Speaker 1: my job properly, it's that simple. Well, that means I

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Speaker 1: gotta work in the training environment and the practice, en.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I gotta put myself out there to be

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Speaker 1: able to go that hard, to be able to impose

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Speaker 1: my will on somebody else and make them quit. Break them.

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Speaker 1: It's it's a mental thing. It's not a physical I'm

428
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 1: not talking about breaking them physically. I'm talking about breaking

429
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 1: them mentally. Make them work harder than they ever thought

430
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: they were gonna have to work in a football game.

431
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: And if you're not willing to do that, then what

432
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: are you doing? What are you doing? Why are you here?

433
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 1: That's your goal, that's your that's your task each and

434
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 1: every time, and that starts right here in the training

435
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,639
Speaker 1: environment right now. WHOA, That's what I'm talking about, baby,

436
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 1: And that's you know again we we talk about unbreakable.

437
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 1: He just said it right, We're trying to break you.

438
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: And as Randy and I are trying to train these guys. Man,

439
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: we're talking no hands on our hips, right, we don't

440
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: take a stool in between rounds. We want to the

441
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,879
Speaker 1: other guys saying our football players don't no hands on

442
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: your heads. You want them to sit there and go

443
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 1: Funk's wrong with Lynne Johnson? Why is he not tired?

444
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: Tell's wrong with Kyle Long? Smiling at what? We're smiling? Right?

445
00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,439
Speaker 1: Why does Andrew what's smiling at us? Fuck's going on you? Right?

446
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 1: And man, you start to see it and it's like, folks,

447
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: you can control it between your ears. So like you know,

448
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: like as a little kid, you're sitting there, you're exhausted,

449
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: and you just played tag with your friends. When your

450
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 1: brother friend comes up, they twang you. Also you jump up,

451
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 1: run after you forget you're tired. You can control it

452
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: between the six inches between your ears. It's the most

453
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 1: powerful weapon on the planet, is that human mind, that

454
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: brain of ours and the right way. But you know

455
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: the other end of that, man, it's you know, we're pushing, pushing,

456
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 1: pushing to be unbreakable in this way. And and now

457
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,879
Speaker 1: I'm telling people in mental health wise, I want you

458
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: to go complete opposite. I apologize. Actually the Seahawks recently

459
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 1: when I went and the vicers, I thought, I said, hey,

460
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,120
Speaker 1: part of the reason you guys are afraid to say

461
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 1: anything is because people like me saying, don't fucking show it,

462
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: don't show your in pain, don't show it, don't put

463
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: your hands on your hips. But in mental health, I

464
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 1: want us to show it all the time. I want

465
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: us to cry to each other. I want us to

466
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: open up. I wanted to be a complete opposite of

467
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 1: how I want you in the cage or on the field. Right,

468
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: I want you to really start opening up to your

469
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 1: brothers on your right and your sisters on your left.

470
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: Just start opening up them so you know you have

471
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: your own fight team. In a way, there's a difference

472
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 1: between the mindset it takes to go out and compete,

473
00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: certainly in an individual combative sport, but in a team

474
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:26,959
Speaker 1: sport as well, and that mindset of living a full, engaged, loving,

475
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 1: happy life. Because those are two different things. Uh, And

476
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,199
Speaker 1: I think you've got to be able to be willing

477
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 1: to open up to those people that are important, that

478
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: are in your circle, and show those vulnerabilities, let those

479
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,199
Speaker 1: demons out, Let those things out so that they can

480
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: be dealt with. They don't like the light of day.

481
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 1: If you keep stuffing them down, it's only gonna fester.

482
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 1: It's only gonna get worse from you. That's what the

483
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 1: huddle is so important at m v P because it's

484
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,879
Speaker 1: a safe place where I have some trust there, I

485
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 1: can let those things out, let them out into the

486
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: light of the day. They don't. They don't survive there

487
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 1: for very long. So Randy here has a heart attack

488
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 1: and unbreakable one day, full on heart attack, full on

489
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: fucking heart attack, and Rob Gronkowski's working out there. Randy

490
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 1: has a widow maker heart attack, hadn't breakable, and I'm like, kay, dude,

491
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 1: you know if you fucking died, it would totally change

492
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: the brand. We'd have to call a breakable. It's just

493
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 1: not a good brand, right, So that's not a fucking dinasshole,

494
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 1: and um, but full on, we don't make her heart attack.

495
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 1: Then walks to the fucking hospital because he doesn't want

496
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: to deal with parking right, and and Gront goes, man,

497
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: if I could have what what's behind my rib cage

498
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,239
Speaker 1: like Randy has behind his. I'll be unbreaking bigger. Wait Ron,

499
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 1: hold that thought, because that's sucking. Heart's about to explode.

500
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: We get down to the fucking hospital. I bust in

501
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: the Cedar side. How he is in post out? They

502
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,719
Speaker 1: just put a stent in. He had They told you

503
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 1: had what ten minutes to live? They said, if I

504
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 1: could have been anywhere else, it might have been a

505
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: different day completely. And that's crazy. I mean, things happen

506
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 1: when and where they're supposed to happen. You gotta have

507
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,640
Speaker 1: some faith that that's the truth. I mean, the month

508
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: before I was hiking up your so many falls as

509
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 1: dehydrated as I've been in quite a while. And the

510
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,640
Speaker 1: dehydration is what caused the plaque rupture in the scar

511
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: tissue in that artery. If that had happened up there,

512
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: the doctors kept telling us, you know, my condo is

513
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 1: three blocks from Cedar Side. I let's be honest, it's

514
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 1: a lot quicker to walk those three blocks than try

515
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 1: and drive over there, not with a fucking widow. Make

516
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 1: our heart attack. It's not bro Well, he got that.

517
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 1: I thought it popped at He's trying to foam roller

518
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,119
Speaker 1: out a heart attack at the gym. He's trying to

519
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 1: fam rollering. So I get to the hospital, like five

520
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 1: doctors already told me, oh, your friend was ten fifteen

521
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 1: minutes away from dying. And I finally said, hey, guys,

522
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,719
Speaker 1: enough for this. That's fun enough, all right, I get it,

523
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: he gets it. Let's stop saying this. Let's take it

524
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 1: out of the universe. He's here. So then they're like, well,

525
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: you gotta wait for him to to get I ain't

526
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: fucking waiting for him because when I almost died seven

527
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 1: years ago um at cedar side and I were both

528
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: my lungs aspirated, Randy was my emergency contact because in

529
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 1: my funck up mind, I'm gonna get my back done,

530
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: cleaned up, and I did this with him once. I'm

531
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 1: gonna come out of anesthegia, I'm gonna feel great, and

532
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 1: we're gonna train, so Randy's gonna pick me up to

533
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: good train. Instead, I wake up and his ugly mugg

534
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 1: and standing over my gurnee critical care and sy designed

535
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, I know my dead and heaven

536
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 1: because if I was his fucking ask wouldn't be here.

537
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: So if I'm dead. I'm somewhere else, but I'll think

538
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 1: up dead, but I'm gonna know what's going on. But

539
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 1: the point is my brother was there for me. He

540
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: was the first one there, standing over my my gurney

541
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 1: while my oxygen was dropping faster and faster. And you know,

542
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 1: my my book and Breakable came from a promise I

543
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: made with God. During that time, Randy, you were trying

544
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 1: to get me to turn my phone off, right, He

545
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: kept saying, Hey, bro, I think this is a real

546
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 1: thing here. And I didn't understand what was happening. And

547
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: you know, all of a sudden, that room went shoot

548
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: a minute shifted away. And that was my moment, my

549
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 1: moment that I kind of made this promise with God

550
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 1: of okay, and I literally said, like God, and my

551
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 1: oxygen dropped the sixty and I said, okay, God, I

552
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: think I'm coming to see you. And if I am,

553
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: it's okay. I love you. But I get joked up

554
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 1: talking about it. But I said, but if it's not time,

555
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: I promise I'll do more in this world and m

556
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: v P and then this book I'm Breakable, and that

557
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: this podcast, this is my way of keeping my promise

558
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: to God that I would do more than I would

559
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 1: help people. I know I got a little side tracked here,

560
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 1: but this is you know, had I had I left

561
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: this world, then there will be a lot of people

562
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: I know that also wouldn't be here because the charitable

563
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: work we've done with m v P and now helping

564
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: people give them word for mental health. So this is

565
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: my way of keeping my promise to God. And a

566
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 1: lot of times I think people make that deal and

567
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 1: they forget about it and they're like, Okay, now I'm good,

568
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: and or a lot of times we go okay when

569
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: when you're successful, you're like, I'm the reason, and when

570
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 1: things aren't going well, you'd like to blame God of

571
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 1: the universe, or you know, use the scape cooat. So

572
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 1: now let's fast forward here. Because Randy was standing over

573
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 1: my gernie. I'm like, there's no fucking way I'm waiting

574
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 1: for them to tell me when it's okay to go

575
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: see him. So I come busting through Postop, get in there.

576
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 1: He's about ten minutes out of his procedure, his surgery,

577
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: and he's just sitting there. He's like, Okay, I think

578
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, And I'm like, what do you mean

579
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,160
Speaker 1: we're good to go? He goes, yeah, I'm good. I think, uh,

580
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: I think I'm ready to leave. I'm like, bro, we're

581
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: not good to go, and you and I are very stubborn, right,

582
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: extremely stubborn. Well, we convince him to stay, and then

583
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 1: about oh uh two hours later he starts sweating, and uh,

584
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: I look at and said, hey, how you hold up, cowboy?

585
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: And he says something going on? So I go and

586
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: get the doctors. The doctor's right in again, like, oh, well,

587
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: let's go. You know your friend was ten minutes away

588
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: from down. I'm like, hey, hey, I'm not gonna tell

589
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 1: you again. We're not saying this ship anymore. They also,

590
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: you don't know this, but when I got there, they

591
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: told me those days of fighting for your friend, those

592
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: days are over. And I said, hey, hey, fucking take

593
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: his hope away. Don't you tell him that if anybody

594
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 1: needs to have that conversation with him, I'll have that

595
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: conversation when the time is right, and we're gonna lead

596
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: to that story to here to tell that. So I

597
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: don't think you know that happened Randy outside your your

598
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: room there. I fucking wore this doctor out, don't you ever,

599
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: none of you all going and tell him and take

600
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 1: his fucking hope away of what makes him feel different special.

601
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: So all of a sudden, the doctors come in there

602
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: and they said, how are you feeling He says, ah,

603
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: I'm starting to feel some pain again here in my heart.

604
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: And they said, what's your pain level at Brandy goes, oh, man,

605
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 1: I'd say it's about it to this motherfucker has a

606
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: full heart attack. He says A two and they go

607
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: and they go, what was it like at the height

608
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: of your heart attack? Do you remember the number you gave? Four?

609
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: Four four? He says four, And I said, guys, hold on,

610
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: let me just show you how different this person is

611
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: you're dealing with. Randy broke his arm against Gabriel Gonzaga

612
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 1: to fight and ended up picking the dude up and

613
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: slamming on his nose, knowing that the doctors are gonna

614
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: stop the fight in between rounds. Randy, what was the

615
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: pain level like when you broke your arm? Do you

616
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: remember what you said? It didn't really hurt. I mean,

617
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: I knew there was something wrong with it. It It was clicking,

618
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: but it didn't hurt. I mean, in the moment, it

619
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: didn't hurt. Okay, okay, people, you want to talk about

620
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: mental health issues, This motherfucker just said it didn't. And

621
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,000
Speaker 1: now that he got mad at me, he said it

622
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: didn't hurt, it was just pressure. It was clicking. Okay.

623
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: I was like, well, well we'll see see, so don't

624
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: ask him what his fucking pain threshold is because he's

625
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: just different. So so fast forward. And then, by the way,

626
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 1: he checked him out self out of intensive care the

627
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: next day because he was bothered by all the beats

628
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 1: and sounds in there. I mean, nobody could sleep in

629
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: that place. How does anybody get any rest in there?

630
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: And then somebody brought their damn dog up in there,

631
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: like what the hell? So three weeks after this heart attack,

632
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 1: Randy comes back into Unbreakable to have We threw a

633
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 1: little party from like, hey, regretting glad you're not dead party,

634
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: you know, you know what we have been as as

635
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: loving as we are. And next ding, I know, this

636
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: fucking fool goes into our office and comes back out

637
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 1: and he is fully geared up to train to spark

638
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: fully and he says to me, let's go get your

639
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 1: stuff on, and I'm like, dude, what are we doing here?

640
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: He's like, let's go, Okay, your stuff on. I'm like,

641
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: rand he was cleared you you go. You said, you said,

642
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 1: I'm on blood thinners. It's not your problem, right, Yeah,

643
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: he said, it's not your problem. I said, Reddy, what

644
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: are we We're three weeks away from we don't make

645
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: our heart attack. Do you remember the line you hit

646
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: me with to guilt me into spark? No, what did

647
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: I say? You said I would do it for you?

648
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 1: What an asshole? What it? Asshole? I would do it

649
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: for you, like motherfucker. Well, I wouldn't got my gear on,

650
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: Randy not we sparred, and the way we ran in

651
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: I spar we don't. Ever I learned from him not

652
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: to move back, just to go forward forward for it.

653
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: So obviously he does it too. So we just sit

654
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: there and we go and the bell rang and there

655
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 1: was no rest, and then the bell rang again and

656
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: there was no rest, and we just kept going and

657
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 1: going and going. I think we went three five minute

658
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: rounds straight without any fucking rest, right, And then you

659
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 1: pulled your gloves off and said, hey, fuck these doctors.

660
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: And he threw his gloves and walked out of the

661
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 1: fucking cage. That is Randy Gutur for your folks, and

662
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 1: then you coached every night for another two hours, and

663
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: some of our football players for another three hours. Yeah,

664
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: the doctors weren't sure what to do with me, and

665
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: so what I mean to do, said, you know, rehab

666
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: the curl ten pound weights. I mean, it wasn't a

667
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: lifestyle issue, is a genetic issue. And didn't tell you

668
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: the spar you know, but that's what we do. It's

669
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: just when he hits me with that line, I would

670
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: do it for you, like, oh, you're right, he would,

671
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 1: no doubt, but oh my god, it was an all

672
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 1: time And then Jay Harran hit me with that line

673
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: later on. Also, I hit him up with the line

674
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,479
Speaker 1: when I wanted him to help me get back from

675
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: my shoulder. It's far four months before I was supposed

676
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 1: to sucking after piece my labor and cut out. But

677
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: that's again, that's folks. We're talking to a mental health podcast.

678
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 1: So everything you just heard here do the opposite. Yeah,

679
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: So years laugh. We started crying each other a lot

680
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: more in private the last five years. Why gosh, you know,

681
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: it's it's it's hard to again. I think a combination

682
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: of being in the huddle with m VP, and I

683
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: think that being in the huddle with a lot of

684
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: other folks that are struggling with other stuff that gives

685
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: you some perspective. Well, you certainly realized it could be

686
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: a whole lot worse than it is. But I think

687
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 1: once you find that place in your heart and in

688
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: your mind where it's okay to open up, where it's

689
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,120
Speaker 1: okay to let some of that stuff out, and some

690
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: of that might just be our age. Let's let's be honest, Jay,

691
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: we ain't getting any younger. I think I'm in an

692
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 1: age at an age now where every month or every

693
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: other month, I lose somebody that was close to me

694
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,800
Speaker 1: that was part of my journey, that that meant something

695
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: to me. And you know, I had two suicides in

696
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 1: the last couple of years in the gym as well.

697
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 1: Those are difficult things. I just feel like I know

698
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,959
Speaker 1: myself better now than I've ever known myself in my life.

699
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: And part of that knowing myself is being willing to

700
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: let some of this ship out, let some of this

701
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 1: stuff out into the light, share some of this stuff

702
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: with people you trust that you know that that they're

703
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: gonna take care of you, that are gonna prop you up.

704
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: They're gonna help you get through it and give you

705
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: some perspective to make it okay. That's what I feel

706
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 1: like it's been going on. Yeah, our conversations have gotten deeper.

707
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: They just started and we've always had deep conversations. But

708
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,320
Speaker 1: I think Randy and I have the most selfless relationship

709
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: you could have. We just give give to each other.

710
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: We never take from each other. We're always thinking how

711
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: could we give to the other without ever having to

712
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 1: ask or say anything. I'm just always thinking for him,

713
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: he's always thinking for me, which is that's what relationships

714
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: supposed to be. Folks. The art of loyalty. It's a

715
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:11,359
Speaker 1: dying art, and that's what loyalty is. And that's when

716
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: you have these relationships, you could start being a lot

717
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 1: closer and vulnerable with people in your lives because you

718
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 1: know they just fucking got your back. When they're thinking

719
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 1: about you and you're thinking about them, life is an

720
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 1: easier place to navigate what's become a very difficult and

721
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,240
Speaker 1: darker maze. Not only is it nice to have somebody

722
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:33,280
Speaker 1: to share those positive, amazing things with, like your new place.

723
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 1: You know that place is unbelievable. You know so many

724
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 1: different places and things that we've gotten to go and

725
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 1: see and do that we're way more fun because I

726
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,439
Speaker 1: was standing next to you. But the same is true

727
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 1: about the darker things and the and the difficult things

728
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 1: in our life. Having that same somebody to lean on to,

729
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: to bounce those things off up to to find some

730
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 1: perspective for those things that that's just as important and

731
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: just as meaningful for sure. Yeah, and we we won't

732
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 1: say what it is, but you know you right, did

733
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 1: it come to me not too long ones that I

734
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 1: had helped him through a really dark period and I

735
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 1: didn't know, And you know, for him to be able

736
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: to open up to me like that and tell me

737
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: how much again, that's that allows me to be of

738
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 1: known that I'm being of service to my brothers. The

739
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 1: truth is we've all probably been in that headspace at

740
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,800
Speaker 1: least once in our lives. I've been in that headspace

741
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: twice in my life. I never told you about the

742
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,399
Speaker 1: other time. It was a long time before ever knew you.

743
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: But you know, I was in an absolute dark place,

744
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: embarrassed to tears and literally embarrassed tears, and and didn't

745
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: know where to go. And you called me out of

746
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: the blue and you had no idea. I mean you did,

747
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 1: but you had no idea where I was at with

748
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: what was going on. And and man, your sense of

749
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: humor and you're fucked up? This your your friendship. Man,

750
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,399
Speaker 1: it just it snapped me out of it and helped

751
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: me get through it. It wasn't good. I don't even

752
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 1: want to go into the details. This is what I mean.

753
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 1: This is like you know I put in the book

754
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:05,360
Speaker 1: after man, it's the laughter. But this brotherhood, and this

755
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 1: is me being a service, just calling a brother going hey, man,

756
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: how you doing today? Hey? Hey, what's going How are

757
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: you really doing? You know, we call someone and go

758
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: how you doing? I'm doing great? Sometimes just ask people,

759
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: no funk that how you really doing it? Yeah, we're

760
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: all pretty good at hiding my ship, and the ones

761
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 1: of us that carry around the most darkness and deal

762
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: with the deepest, darkest ship on a regular basis are

763
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: the best at hiding it. I mean, Robert Fawless, you

764
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 1: would have never in a million years knowing that that

765
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: was going on behind behind the curtain there. Same with

766
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:41,439
Speaker 1: Tim you know, you would have never known. This guy

767
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 1: is the brightest, most enthusiastic person you'd ever meet in

768
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: your laugh and you'd never know those demons were in

769
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: there messing with his head on a regular basis. And

770
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: you know, you gotta pay attention, you gotta learn and

771
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 1: to look for the signs, and you've got to be

772
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: willing to go there, to go and be vulnerable, to

773
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 1: open up and show those things and that support to

774
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: those folks of se The last question before I let

775
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: you go, I ask all my guests, give your unbreakable moment,

776
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:10,439
Speaker 1: like that moment like that changed your life, that something

777
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 1: trying to break you couldn't. Yeah, that was a journey

778
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: for me through the support of wrestling. I started rustling

779
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: and ten years old to get my dad's attention. My

780
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 1: dad was a debut, he was never around, no support,

781
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: none of that. My mom raised sturvice b ourselfs. But

782
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: I heard my whole life what a great wrestler he

783
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 1: was and what a tough guy he was. So I

784
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: donned the compulsory uniform of that era, tights and a

785
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: singlet and walked out in front of all my classmates,

786
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 1: hoping to get his attention, and he would come around.

787
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: He never saw me wrest not a single match in

788
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 1: my entire career, but I found the place that seemed

789
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,760
Speaker 1: to make me tick. Those coaches were very very important

790
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 1: to me because they filled that void. When I needed

791
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: to kick in the ass, they were the guys to

792
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: grab me and do that. When I needed an arm

793
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 1: thrown around me in a newgie, it's gonna be okay,

794
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: it's gonna be all right, they were the guys to

795
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: do that too. I don't think they knew that. I've

796
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 1: talked to my coaches, good friends with coach Ka Skier,

797
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 1: my very first coach. I don't think he knew what

798
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 1: he meant to me and that boyd and that thing

799
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: that he was providing for me that I didn't have

800
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 1: at home. But that was certainly the journey for me,

801
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 1: and the courage to don that uniform and walk out

802
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,640
Speaker 1: there in an individual combatis sport like wrestling. Forget winning

803
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 1: or losing. Hell, that was enough, just just doing that,

804
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 1: you know, and then setting a goal. Even though he

805
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 1: was it didn't work. He never came around. You never

806
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 1: saw me. I eventually, you know, it was in the

807
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 1: state finals my senior year. I was at one time

808
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 1: state champion in Washington. He wasn't there, But that journey

809
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 1: culminated with me fulfilling that dream to be that state champion,

810
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 1: and that's when I realized I can do this. I

811
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: used that I could have used as an excuse to

812
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 1: be a douche bag and make a lot of bad

813
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: decisions and do a lot of bad things. I used

814
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: it instead to motivate myself, you know, errantly trying to

815
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: get his attention, but still found my calling, found my vocation,

816
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: the place that I belonged ultimately led me down this road.

817
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: That's exactly what folks. We could use our mental health

818
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: issues to choose the wrong path and the wrong decisions,

819
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: or to motivate us. So let's make that choice to

820
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,720
Speaker 1: motivate us. Randy gatur Man, I love you, dude, my brother,

821
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 1: my training partner. So glad you didn't die that time.

822
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: You're probably not at Randy gatour Man, I appreciate you

823
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: walking this walk together. Brother, Thanks brother, love, happy to

824
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: be here with you. Man. I love you too. Man.

825
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 1: Be well.