1 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody. 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:12,559 Speaker 2: We're back Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks again for 3 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 2: joining us today. Kathy and I just love coming back 4 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 2: and chatting with you guys. 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 3: So so excited to be back today. Like many other days, 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,119 Speaker 3: we're going to be answering some more of your fan questions. 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 3: Make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them. We 8 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 3: love answering them and commenting, and just go to Bachelor 9 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 3: nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away. 10 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 2: We want all your questions and your updates. 11 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 1: All of it. 12 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,319 Speaker 2: You know, you can also dm us on Instagram at 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 2: Bachelor Happy Hour. 14 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: So how's how's your week been? How's it going? 15 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 2: Okay, that doesn't sound good. 16 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: You should see the face right now. 17 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 4: Yeah. 18 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 3: Today, let me just say today like, I am as 19 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 3: far from paradise as you can get. Okay, I am 20 00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 3: taking a friend to the airport this morning. I leave 21 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 3: the garage door open and we're getting in the car. 22 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 3: I start to put out of the garage. My garage 23 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 3: doraw which weighs like six hundred pounds because it's solid 24 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 3: wood with metal backing, crashes into the hood of my 25 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 3: Mercedes Dens. It it looks like you know it looks 26 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 3: like I don't know, monkeys were jumping all over. 27 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 2: They usually like bounce off and stop and they go, no, 28 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 2: this bounced and didn't and stop. It hit it. 29 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 3: And what happened was the handle in like several places, 30 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 3: the handle like the release handle you know for an 31 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 3: automatic garage. Somehow it came loose because the string was whatever, 32 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 3: it doesn't matter, Can I just tell you. I called 33 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 3: the company that installed it, because the guy that was 34 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 3: here who installed it the first time to now fix it, said, yeah, 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 3: we made a mistake, Like we're supposed to keep those 36 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 3: ropes tied shorter so they don't catch on your car 37 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 3: because if they do, it catches the metal and it 38 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 3: releases the thing and hits your car. 39 00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: So it's their fault. 40 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, So I called up the manager and I said, well, 41 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 3: I said, your your workman said, you know, we have 42 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 3: to do better, and he goes, not we, and I said, exactly, 43 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 3: your worker needs to do better, And would you like 44 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 3: the name of my my uh, you. 45 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 4: Know, collision repair company. So my car. Really it looks 46 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 4: like someone just pounded it. That was my fun. 47 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 3: Nobody got hurt, nobody got the car. It's just but 48 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 3: you know what it's the only car I have. Did 49 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 3: you have a good day, You're having a good week. 50 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a crazy week. 51 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 2: Actually, yes, it's it's always crazy, but I'm enjoying it. 52 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 1: Okay, been crazy. 53 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what that's that's that's summer in Austin. 54 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 4: That's the way. 55 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 3: That's what it is here all the time. So you know, 56 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 3: welcome to my world. All right, you're ready to get 57 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 3: in the episode. We're going to start with the question 58 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 3: of the day. 59 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 4: Here we go. 60 00:02:55,200 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 3: How does money play a factor in adult friendships? You know, 61 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 3: what are some faux pas regarding money that you wish 62 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 3: more people were aware of? Can I just say, now 63 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 3: that you've been studying French, you know what a faux 64 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 3: pas is. 65 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: Let's just say. 66 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 2: Let me just say people are clueless sometimes about about money. 67 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 3: Well, like for my friendships, I think friendships are just enjentships. 68 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 2: Like when the girls all go out to dinner, Like 69 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 2: after work, we go out to dinner and the one 70 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 2: girl doesn't drink at all, and the other girl has 71 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 2: to have three espresso martinis afterwards, and that gets added 72 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 2: to the bill. 73 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: Like, think about it. 74 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 2: This girl doesn't work or doesn't have as much as 75 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 2: you have, like think about it. 76 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 3: So I think that's one of the faux pas that 77 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 3: people will order the most expensive thing on the menu 78 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 3: and fifteen drinks and then go, hey, Kathy, let's just 79 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 3: split the bill. And I'm looking even but I have 80 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 3: been and it cuts both ways. I think another faux 81 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 3: pas that one is to order expensive food, lots of drinks, appetizers, 82 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 3: and then Kathy rolls in, you know, orders a salad 83 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 3: and a glass of water, and my bills one hundred bucks. 84 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 3: Like what, So that's a faux pop. Be mindful of 85 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 3: other people. But I think another one is and equally bad, 86 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 3: is when you go out to a restaurant and you'll say, 87 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 3: can we have separate checks? And that is a lot 88 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 3: of work for a server and women I'm going to 89 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 3: get hammered for saying this are notoriously bad tempers. That 90 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 3: has been my experience. S They're like, well, I'm not 91 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 3: going to give them twenty percent because I just ordered 92 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:45,840 Speaker 3: this or I just ordered that. So I'm just telling 93 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 3: you what people say. So I feel like if you 94 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 3: if you if you pay your own bill, grade but 95 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 3: make sure you're tipping appropriately. I think if you borrow money, 96 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 3: you know, neither a borrow nor lender. B I'm sure 97 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 3: it says that in the Bible somewhere. I think I 98 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 3: think too many people borrow money and then you know. 99 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 2: What happened Susan, Oh, I do they get amnesia? I've 100 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 2: lent money out, I borrowed money from you. I'm remember 101 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,919 Speaker 2: a good friend. It always hurts a friendship, Yeah, it 102 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 2: always does. I mean I've had this situation quite a 103 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: few times that I've lent money and I had to 104 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 2: call every your text every pay day. 105 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 1: Oh, I can't do it this week. My rent is 106 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: to excuse me. 107 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what happened to me with a very 108 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 3: good friend. I think I've told this story before. And 109 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 3: I lent the money and she said she'd paid back 110 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 3: when she was a nurse. She said she would pay 111 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 3: it back when she got paid in. 112 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: Six weeks now and still hasn't paid it or no. 113 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 3: She finally it was ugly and she said she finally 114 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 3: fessed up and said, you have more money than I do. 115 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 3: You you don't you have you can afford it? And 116 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 3: I said, oh, no, nothing I know. So so that's 117 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 3: another faux PAP thinking that when you borrow money, you 118 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 3: don't have to pay it back big No. 119 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 4: Well no, I mean like when you and I are 120 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 4: on our cruise. 121 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,919 Speaker 3: I've paid for a couple of things, You've paid for 122 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 3: a couple of things, and we'll straighten out. 123 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 4: But you and I are like. 124 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 3: That, We'll say, yeah, well it's still money and it's 125 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 3: still with a friendship. 126 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 2: But not when you're both doing it and you're going 127 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 2: away together and you're splitting. 128 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: It, you know what I mean. But I'm just saying, 129 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,039 Speaker 1: it's like it's you have borrow. 130 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 2: That's different than when we're doing something together. 131 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 4: Yeah. I think anyway. 132 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 3: I think when you go out to dinner, they'll My 133 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 3: experience again has been men are like, let's just split 134 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 3: the bill. Women are either what we said initially, like 135 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 3: you know, they'll order the most expensive thing and then 136 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 3: say let's split the bill, or they're very vocal, I 137 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 3: only want to pay for my bill, oh, or someone 138 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 3: says I forgot my wallet, you know, can you put 139 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,719 Speaker 3: it on I'll pay you back later a long time. 140 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 2: But I also some people if we're going to split, 141 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 2: and one person because you and I have been in 142 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 2: this situation, and the one person says, no, no, no, 143 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 2: I only had this, this, and this, and they want 144 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 2: to pay exactly that. 145 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: No, no gratuity, no tax tax no. I'm like, whoa, whoa, wow. 146 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 2: I don't If it's a difference of twenty bucks, I'd 147 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 2: rather not. 148 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: Great. 149 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 4: Well, I'm glad well on this criticism. Thank you so much. 150 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 4: I'll be letting you it's only. 151 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 3: Twenty twenty bucks until I don't worry about it, Susan, 152 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 3: it's on you. I do think money though it can, it. 153 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: Can cause a lot of problems. 154 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 4: It can. 155 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 3: I think it's been self aware, as many things in 156 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 3: life are. It's oh, you know what, I went to 157 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 3: the spa. SU's gave me one hundred dollars because I 158 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 3: forgot whatever. I need to go back to my room 159 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 3: and catch you the hundred bucks like it just it's 160 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 3: just being self aware. And Susan, I don't have the 161 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 3: hundred bucks to pay you back. So thanks so much. 162 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 3: I really appreciate me, Kathy, I do know on my phone. 163 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. 164 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: Alright, we're going to start our fan questions. 165 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 2: Okay, Anonymous here from Delco my area, got. 166 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: The Old Boy. 167 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 2: I can't wait to read this one. I need some advice. 168 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 2: I recently moved in with my boyfriend of two years. 169 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 2: I couldn't wait to start this next chapter. Let me 170 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 2: start by saying I lived on my own very comfortably, 171 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 2: within my means. He lives in a more expensive area 172 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 2: and his rent is expensive. Now he makes more than 173 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 2: two times my salary, but he expects me to pay 174 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 2: half of everything. I give him half of his rent 175 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 2: every month, and I think he appreciates it, but he 176 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 2: will make little comments about other expenses. I really try 177 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 2: to buy growth things for the house, et cetera. When 178 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 2: we go out, he will make comments about him paying 179 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:10,439 Speaker 2: for the bill. I just feel uncomfortable. I'm struggling as 180 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 2: a lot of my money goes to him. Now, Oh boy, 181 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 2: I have zero disposable income. Sometimes I feel as if 182 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 2: it would be better going back on my own, living 183 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 2: within my means. I want to don't know what to do, 184 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,680 Speaker 2: as I do love him, but I feel as if 185 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,559 Speaker 2: I am his roommate now and not his girlfriend. 186 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: Any advice will be greatly appreciated. 187 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 2: Oh yes, delco, delco, delco, We love you, Kathy. What's 188 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 2: the first word that comes to mind with the sea curb? 189 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 2: Hit him, send him to the curb, communicate you need 190 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: to sit him down and freaking tell him exactly what 191 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:49,559 Speaker 2: you told us. 192 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 1: You make more, you live in a more expensive place. 193 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 3: Yes, I like the idea of send him to the curb. 194 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 3: This is a red flag. She's right to tell you, Delco. 195 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 3: But I think he's earning twice the money. He's looking 196 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 3: to have a nice situation where he listened in a 197 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 3: nice place and you're paying half the rent if you 198 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 3: This is why. By the way, again, listen, miss s Delco. 199 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,559 Speaker 3: I'm sure you're a lovely girl. I bet you are 200 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 3: because I know people from Delco and they are all 201 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 3: lovely people. 202 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 4: So here's the thing, though, if. 203 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 3: You moved in with him and you didn't have these 204 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 3: conversations first, and maybe they did, maybe he earned less money. 205 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 3: But the fact is, if you didn't have these conversations 206 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 3: to begin with, you know, Joe, I don't earn a 207 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 3: lot of money, and you know I'm a whatever you 208 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 3: know whatever she does, And I don't have a lot 209 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 3: of money. I don't have a lot of disposable income. 210 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 3: So how are we going to work this out? Because 211 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 3: if his life is a fair yeah, well what's fair 212 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 3: is splitting everything down the middle? 213 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 2: And is she totaling up the food bill because I 214 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 2: know grocery store are expensive. 215 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 4: No, but she's saying, I try to buy groceries. 216 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 3: The fact is, it sounds like he wants to split 217 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 3: everything down the middle. And that's fair in the legal 218 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 3: you know, most finite definition of the word. 219 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 4: It's fair. 220 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,439 Speaker 2: She moved into his place, which was way more expensive 221 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 2: than her place. 222 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 4: Well, and that's where she went. 223 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: We're going in. You're right. 224 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 2: Before going in, I would have said, Babe, my rent 225 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 2: is not like this, So how do you want to 226 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:25,840 Speaker 2: work this? 227 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,839 Speaker 1: Because I cannot afford. 228 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 3: Or susan, I got a really simple solution for Hey, buddy, 229 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 3: you tell him you want sex, money on the table, 230 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 3: charge him every time. 231 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 1: You'll be telling you money. 232 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 4: You'll be moving. You'll be moving to the penthouse here 233 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 4: pretty soon. 234 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,440 Speaker 2: I know you're thinking it'd be better to go back 235 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 2: on your own, living within your means. But before you 236 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 2: do that, if you really do love him, and if 237 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 2: he loves you, he will make the time sit down 238 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 2: and communicate and share exactly the truth always sets you free, 239 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 2: tell him exactly how you're feeling. This okay, but I 240 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 2: don't feel like I could keep up here. I moved 241 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 2: into your place and he's collecting half, so he's on 242 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 2: scott Free and makes more than two times more than you. 243 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: Then that's not fair. 244 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 2: I wouldn't present it like an ultimatum, but I would 245 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 2: definitely at the end of your conversation, because if we 246 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,199 Speaker 2: can't work something out, I'm going to have to go, 247 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 2: and that's an ultimatum. 248 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:27,079 Speaker 1: Susan, Well, if we can't work, that's still an ultimatum. 249 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,199 Speaker 4: I'm telling you. 250 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 3: I would say, Delco, you need to back up and 251 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 3: say to him, let's test. Let's test how you know 252 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 3: how much you are his roommate and how much you're 253 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 3: his girlfriend. If you say to him, hey, Joe, I 254 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,719 Speaker 3: really do love you, but this is too much for me. 255 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 3: I don't have any disposal income. I can't go out 256 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 3: with my friends. I can't buy the new pair of 257 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 3: shoes I want because you know, you earn twice what 258 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 3: I do, sweetie, and and good on you. You've got 259 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 3: lots of raises, but this is what I earn and 260 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 3: I can't do that. So if if so, I'm I 261 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 3: think the best thing for me to do is move back. 262 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 3: We'll still be boyfriend girlfriend, but you know you live here. 263 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 3: Watch him change his tone because I'm guessing. 264 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: Well, that's the same thing I said. 265 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 3: No, no, no, don't don't, I will give I will 266 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,359 Speaker 3: move out. I would move out, and I would say, 267 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 3: you know, if things change, we become engaged, whatever. But 268 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 3: right now, this take I guess what I'm saying to 269 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 3: her is take charge of your life, be responsible for 270 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 3: who you are, for your expenses, and you know, don't 271 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,319 Speaker 3: expect him to say, oh, that's okay, sweetie, I'll cover everything. 272 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you know, what is that how she wants 273 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: to live? 274 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 2: What he may say it's okay to move out? No, no, no, no, 275 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 2: that he'll pay more. 276 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 4: I say it. Does she want to be a kept woman? 277 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 1: I don't know. I think these are things women. She's 278 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: still going to pay her way, but just not right. 279 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 3: I think the I think the lesson here is miss Scalco, 280 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 3: lovely woman that you are, and to everyone else listening, 281 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 3: have these conversations. 282 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 4: Before you move in. 283 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 3: Don't wait until you're knee deep in it, and it's 284 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 3: going to get ugly. 285 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: I mean that that was a simple question. 286 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 2: So let's talk about what you expect from me. 287 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 3: Like if I move into your house with you, Susan, 288 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 3: I mean I can't because Frederick is probably going to 289 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 3: be there. 290 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 4: But let's just say, you know you have the master. 291 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 4: I'm being serious. 292 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 3: Let's just say we were two girlfriends, friends that we are, 293 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 3: and I decided to move to Philly. And yeah, I'm 294 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 3: making this all up obviously. 295 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 2: Would you expect me to pay half of everything because 296 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 2: you have the mask paid for? 297 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: But I expect you to pay rent? Yes, yes, but 298 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: I'm sayingbody that lives here with pay rent? Right. 299 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, But here's the thing. When you're young and they 300 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 3: all have expenses, then you have to sit and do 301 00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 3: a budget. 302 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 1: I bet they against Can I afford it? 303 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 4: Yes? 304 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 3: She so, Delco. You should have done that. You should 305 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 3: have seen if she didn't. But she is now she 306 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 3: is let us know, let us know how the conversation. 307 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 3: Susan's right, how the conversation rent? 308 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 1: Right, nast and so. 309 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, Susan listened, Delko, you know you might want to 310 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 4: move over there? 311 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: Well, let me tell you the pool you get. 312 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 4: But here's the thing. 313 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: When she's home, she'll cook for you, she'll grocery shop, 314 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 3: she'll straighten your hair for you. 315 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 1: It's really just have to be really neat. 316 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 3: Oh god, no, you have to beyond really neat. I 317 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 3: hope you don't mind. While you're eating, she's going to 318 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 3: be sweeping the floor underneath your chair. But other than that, 319 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 3: thank you so much for writing in and we good luck. 320 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 3: And you know what, I hope that the love with 321 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 3: that you have for this man, I hope it, you know, continues. 322 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 3: But work it out. Try to work it out, all right, 323 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 3: Let's move on to question number two. 324 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 4: Hi, ladies, I need some advice. 325 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 3: My friends and I are all recent college graduates, all 326 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 3: working our first full time jobs. Most of us make 327 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 3: stable money, while our friend Tilly makes well over six 328 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 3: figures as she works in finance. 329 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,479 Speaker 4: Here's the deal. Tilly is the. 330 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 3: Only person in our group that nickels and dimes us 331 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 3: for everything, and there. 332 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 1: It is always the way. 333 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:21,120 Speaker 3: For instance, everyone else pays for drinks, calls cars, et cetera, 334 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 3: and never requests money because we all know it's a 335 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 3: constant flow of us getting things for each other. 336 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: Well that's a mistake anyway. 337 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 3: However, anytime Tilly buys anything, she charges us for it immediately. 338 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 3: Some of the girls have tried to talk to her, 339 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 3: but she always just says, just request me and I'll 340 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 3: pay you back. It hit a breaking point when she 341 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 3: Venma requested us each one dollar and thirty seven cents 342 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 3: exactly for uber to go to someone's house for dinner. 343 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 3: It was an uber to our friend's birthday dinner, and 344 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 3: she also requested the money from the birthday girl. Is 345 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,360 Speaker 3: this friendship break up worthy since we've tried to talk 346 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 3: to her or are we overreacting? Money is the only 347 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 3: issue we have with Tilly and we love her otherwise, 348 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 3: thanks so much? 349 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 4: Okay, Susan, can we answer this one in unison? 350 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 2: Man a dollar thirty seven? I would give her pennies? 351 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:28,160 Speaker 3: Susan would so No, Susan would venmo you a Nickela day, 352 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 3: a nicola day for the next Oh jeez, let me 353 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 3: just say there is something wrong. It's ridiculous. There's something wrong. 354 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 3: First of all, yay, Tilly. 355 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 4: That was my grandmother's name. 356 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: By the way, she's making great money. 357 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, six figures right out of college. It's the name Tilly. 358 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 3: I love it tight, whatever it is, she said. Some 359 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 3: of the girls have tried to talk to her, but 360 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 3: she always says, just request me and I'll pay you back. 361 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,239 Speaker 3: Here's where the problem is. Remember I said earlier day, 362 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 3: not request, no, no, no, Remember neither a borrower nor 363 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 3: a lender. Be Remember I said that. Here's what she said. 364 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 3: She said, for instance, everyone else pays for drinks blah 365 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 3: blah blah and never requests money because we all know 366 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 3: it's a constant flow of us getting things for each other. 367 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,120 Speaker 3: There's your problem right there. 368 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:18,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. 369 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 4: That's your problem. 370 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 3: Because if you don't have a kiddy, if you're all 371 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 3: going out for dinner and you don't put the money 372 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:30,400 Speaker 3: in the kitty to pay for the ubers and the drinks, whatever, 373 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 3: you got a problem. 374 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 1: You got a problem if you if. 375 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 3: You say, oh, it all comes out in the wash, 376 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 3: well to Tilly, apparently it doesn't come out in the wash. 377 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 2: And so so what do you think, Kathy? Is it 378 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 2: something that you you know? 379 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 3: Wait, since wait, some people don't know what a kidd is. 380 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,640 Speaker 3: We got to tell what a kidd is. A kiddie 381 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,399 Speaker 3: is you put your money together, you put it in 382 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 3: a wallet, and it's where like a group of girls 383 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 3: are going out, you say, let's each put fifty Yeah, 384 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 3: let's each put fifty dollars in the kiddy. And that's 385 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 3: what everyone pays that night for. So one person's responsible 386 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,679 Speaker 3: for managing the money, and that way, nobody is quote 387 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 3: paying for things and it all comes out. 388 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 4: In the wash. 389 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 3: Everyone's paying and equal share. That's the right way to 390 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,120 Speaker 3: do it. So I would I would tell people that 391 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 3: try that would kill it. Yeah, before you break up 392 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,360 Speaker 3: and say, you know what, we're gonna do it differently. 393 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 3: Now when we all go out, we're gonna have a 394 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 3: kiddie and everyone's going to put in and decide what 395 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 3: the number is, and none of this venomoulater stuff. 396 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 4: Cash on the bare head, right, cash. 397 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 1: Pennies a dollar thirty seven. 398 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 2: It's going to be heavy, and I give her one 399 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 2: at a time because that is bullshit. 400 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,880 Speaker 1: She is being an ass. If you ask me, I mean, 401 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 1: maybe let's catch up for the birth, says. 402 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,639 Speaker 3: I'm going to play the devil's advocate here for a minute. 403 00:19:55,040 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 3: She's earning six figures. You know what, maybe chilling thirty seven? No, 404 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 3: maybe Tilly is Maybe Tilly's trying to prove a point. 405 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 4: We don't know. We're only getting one side of the story. 406 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:10,479 Speaker 3: Maybe Tilly has paid for several rounds of drinks and 407 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 3: the girls and the girls. 408 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: Alike, you think the girls would have said that. 409 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 4: Maybe maybe not. I mean, we're only that's why they 410 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 4: have courts of losses. 411 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 2: You're living, darling. You don't look good right now. You're 412 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 2: making a lot of money and you're to send it 413 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 2: a text that you want a dollar third. You're not 414 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 2: hearing what I'm saying. Maybe I'm hearing and I'm reading 415 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 2: and I'm listening. 416 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:36,919 Speaker 3: But maybe Tilly, No, maybe Tilly has paid more than 417 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,240 Speaker 3: her fair share, and maybe she's tired of it. 418 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 2: Some of the girls have tried to talk to her. 419 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:48,439 Speaker 2: Anytime Tilly buys anything, she charges them immediately. 420 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,720 Speaker 1: So no, she has not picked up the tap. 421 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 4: You don't know that. 422 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: It says it right there, and ink it. 423 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 3: Says she's the only one who nickles and dimes. But 424 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 3: she goes on to say, Susan, Darling, that we all 425 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 3: just kind of flow. The money flows because we all 426 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 3: pay for things. That's the problem right there. 427 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,120 Speaker 2: Con don't do low of us getting things for each other. 428 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 2: How getting things for each other, don't do it. However, 429 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 2: when Tilly buys anything, she charges them immediately, So well, 430 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 2: do her own tab. If you still want to be 431 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 2: your friend till you're on your own, do your own 432 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 2: thing or not. 433 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 3: I mean, I honestly, I honestly would probably cut you know, 434 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 3: make her listen to this podcast and say yes, and 435 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 3: so Tolly congrabs on your six figure job. We would 436 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,320 Speaker 3: love for you to take Susan and me out for 437 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 3: drinks and you pay, and we will each them you 438 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,919 Speaker 3: one dollar and thirty seven cents as our contribution to 439 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:47,479 Speaker 3: the evening. 440 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 2: And a lot of times we go out and you 441 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 2: buy around. I'll buy the next round, Nancy will buy 442 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 2: the next round. 443 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: It's all fair. 444 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 2: It's all even when everybody's doing the same thing. If 445 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 2: one person's having a coke and two people are having champagne, 446 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,120 Speaker 2: you know, it's different. 447 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 3: And that's why and that's why money back to the 448 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 3: question of the day, that's why money becomes an issue 449 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 3: because we don't know the you know, the elephant in 450 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,640 Speaker 3: the room here is you don't know who has money 451 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 3: and who can afford it, who's the last of the 452 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 3: big spenders, and who really is on a tight budget, 453 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,119 Speaker 3: And damn it, I cannot afford to buy Susan too, 454 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 3: martiniz tonight. 455 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 4: You know, you don't know. 456 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 1: It's funny. 457 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 2: I'm the one that's on the tight budget and I 458 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 2: end up picking up the tab for so many people 459 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 2: because they hesitate, and then I feel uncomfortable. 460 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 1: I always do it. 461 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,479 Speaker 3: Okay, wait, I have to tell you I went out 462 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 3: for drinks. This is so funny. We're having this conversation 463 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 3: today and you know the girls. I won't mention her name, 464 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 3: but what my friend's here. She I went out and 465 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,159 Speaker 3: met her for drinks. And I had been out for 466 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 3: lunch with a friend, and so I wasn't hungry, and 467 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 3: I had some chips, you know, that were on the table, 468 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 3: and I had two drinks and I said, let's split 469 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,479 Speaker 3: the bill, because I'm like you, God forbid someone call 470 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,880 Speaker 3: me cheap. She goes, no, no, no, you just had 471 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 3: two drinks. So I asked him which And by the way, 472 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,360 Speaker 3: I was sober. I just not great at math. I said, oh, well, 473 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,919 Speaker 3: now let me just pay for my drinks. And to 474 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 3: your point about tip, tip and tax, the guy said, well, 475 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,560 Speaker 3: your drinks for fourteen dollars each. I said, well, here, 476 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 3: let me give you fifty. And I got home and 477 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 3: I went, wait a minute, twenty eight dollars. 478 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 1: Twenty eight dollars. 479 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,399 Speaker 4: That guy got a hell of a tip. Or she 480 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 4: put a lot of money in her life. 481 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: Would have been good. And she took it right. 482 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 4: Oh, yes, she did, see what I mean. 483 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 3: But I'm just saying you and I are kind of 484 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,879 Speaker 3: the same cloth, like God forbid. Oh that's Susan Knowles, 485 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 3: she said. Damn, yeah, I don't ever want to be that. 486 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,400 Speaker 1: Well, we wish you lucked out. 487 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 2: Let us know, because I really really would like to 488 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 2: send her a Vemo charge for a dollar. 489 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 4: Hey, Tilly Kelly, listen up, girl. 490 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 3: I love your name. It was my grandmother's name. But 491 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,400 Speaker 3: you got to stop being so cheap either nice. Say 492 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:12,360 Speaker 3: to the girls, hey, I'm treating tonight, and then stop 493 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,679 Speaker 3: nicol and diming them. Just do one nice thing for 494 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 3: your girlfriends, because you know what, the girlfriends are worth 495 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,439 Speaker 3: so much more than the dollar thirty seven they're paying you. 496 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:23,000 Speaker 1: It's so true, all right. 497 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 3: By the way, Susan today, Wait, Susan, Yes, why haven't 498 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 3: you paid I? Venmo requested you two dollars and ten cents. 499 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:30,640 Speaker 3: You have not paid me yet. 500 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 2: I would laugh at you, Okay, I know, its just 501 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 2: literally laugh. Today we're going to be doing a Golden 502 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 2: Spotlight segment, so there's no games today, Kat. It's a 503 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 2: Golden Spotlight segment where we talk about something that impacts 504 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:53,439 Speaker 2: the golden community. Today, we're going to be talking about scams. 505 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 2: I mean, how about how they get over on so 506 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:02,159 Speaker 2: many elderly people I mean are golden okay, okay, and 507 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 2: we're very proud of it, and we preach to everyone 508 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 2: how life is not over. It's still full of possibilities, 509 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,440 Speaker 2: but you do have to be careful. 510 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 3: So here's the thing I think golden's and and honestly, 511 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 3: I don't put myself or you in this category because 512 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 3: I think you and I are more aware of because 513 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 3: we're on social media. We you know, we keep up 514 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 3: a little bit more than some everybody, right, I will, 515 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 3: So I think that's why, because golden people don't always 516 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 3: know they can't hear's. I'll tell you a story, true story. 517 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 3: My mom, my stepmom who passed away two years ago, 518 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 3: who was really my mother. She got scammed. I'm not 519 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 3: going to say how much, but several thousand dollars. A 520 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,920 Speaker 3: guy called her. She couldn't hear, she did never hear 521 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 3: anad in and she said hello, and she and my 522 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:03,320 Speaker 3: mom said Kyle, which is my Kyle? And the guy said, yeah, Grahama, 523 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 3: And it wasn't even the name. He calls her and 524 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 3: he said he was in Mexico and in jail and 525 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 3: he needed money, and please don't tell my mother. She'll 526 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 3: be so angry. My stepmother, God lover. She went to 527 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 3: Western Union and wired the money, and then he called 528 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,320 Speaker 3: back and said, Grahama, I need more. She wired more money, 529 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 3: and and there was a happened there. 530 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 4: It did now Western Union. There was a settlement. 531 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 3: There was apparently there was some insider you know bs 532 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,520 Speaker 3: going on, and she did recoup some of the money. 533 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,600 Speaker 3: But when I said to her, you know, I sat 534 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 3: her down and I said why, She said, I don't know. 535 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 3: I just thought maybe he didn't want you to know. 536 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,920 Speaker 2: Said the first reactions to help your grandchild exactly. 537 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 4: And I said, so, so that's part of it. 538 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,199 Speaker 1: They they even on the phone they say it's the 539 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: I R S, or I do it. 540 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 2: I get it from Amazon, saying I like. 541 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 3: What I think because it. People didn't grow up, Susan 542 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 3: with Amazon. They didn't grow up with click here for 543 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 3: your delivery date. You know. 544 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 1: Oops. 545 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 3: They now have your contacts and they've you know, they've 546 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 3: they've gotten into your bank account. 547 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: I R S. The I R S will never ever 548 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 1: send you a text message. 549 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 3: Either, either does the electric company saying if you don't 550 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 3: pay five hundred dollars right now, they're turning off your power. 551 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,720 Speaker 3: And so the thing that we can do PSA is 552 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,439 Speaker 3: say these things over and over. 553 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 1: But I think it's I believe everything. 554 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 2: Check it out first before you give any money or 555 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 2: your bank account or your social Security number. 556 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 1: Right. 557 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 3: But here's the thing that I think they're victims because 558 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:49,360 Speaker 3: many Golden people are not sophisticated with technology today, and 559 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:53,360 Speaker 3: so they believe it when you know, some creep reaches 560 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,160 Speaker 3: out and says we're going to turn your electricity off 561 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 3: and it's one hundred degrees out, they believe it because 562 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 3: they can't imagine how somebody would have gotten their number, 563 00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 3: because they don't understand technology. And I think that is 564 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,400 Speaker 3: if I had to give the single biggest reason that 565 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 3: Goldens are scammed, it's that they don't understand technology. And 566 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 3: AI can I just say, AI is bringing a whole 567 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 3: new you know, because I can capture well good and bad, 568 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 3: but they can capture your voice. Now, so AI could 569 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 3: capture my voice and call you and it would sound 570 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 3: it would be it would be my voice, And that's 571 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 3: going to be a whole new level of deception. 572 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 2: But I do love AI and more Goldens should use 573 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 2: it because your questions. You don't need encyclopedias anymore. I 574 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 2: don't even think the modern day child here and there's 575 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 2: what encyclopedia is. 576 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: I use GPT constantly. 577 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,040 Speaker 3: Well, it should be Gemini. I'm a Google girl. It 578 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:01,560 Speaker 3: should be Gemini you're using I don't. I don't use 579 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,000 Speaker 3: it because I'm I'm a writer and I don't need 580 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 3: help writing. 581 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 2: But it's not about writing that answers a lot of questions. 582 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,720 Speaker 4: So Google, I mean, I just. 583 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 2: Do things like it's like Facebook, going the Instagram, you 584 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 2: know what I mean. 585 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 1: It's like here's your step up. But it's the way 586 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 1: of the future. And you you're right. 587 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 2: Goldens don't trust more modern things because they're not used 588 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 2: to it. 589 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,160 Speaker 1: Lucky, I don't. 590 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 3: I don't think it's that they don't trust. I think 591 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 3: I think they do trust, Susan, that's the problem. They 592 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:36,479 Speaker 3: trust it. They don't understand that that the goodness, the 593 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 3: good parts of AI or technology and technology to use 594 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 3: it can be abused to to scam you out of money. 595 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 3: And so how many times locally, Oh my god, I 596 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 3: hear it all the time on the I get them 597 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 3: all the time on my phone. You know, click here, 598 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 3: and you know what they'll do. They'll copy like it'll 599 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 3: look like Amazon. 600 00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:58,880 Speaker 1: Uh. 601 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 3: But here's here's here's what I say to people when 602 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 3: you the first way to get a scamp to cite 603 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 3: one is when you get an email and there's no 604 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:15,480 Speaker 3: picture on the on the on the thing, there's no 605 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 3: picture of a person. 606 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,479 Speaker 4: And the email is some bizarre email. 607 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 3: It's not Gmail dot com, it's you know ITBX, it's 608 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:29,000 Speaker 3: a bot and so you know, people, but again, goldens 609 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 3: don't know how to look for that stuff. You and 610 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 3: I do, because. 611 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 2: A lot of times they're doing it by phone. They're 612 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 2: calling them. 613 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 3: Well, you know what the answer to that is, Susan 614 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 3: PSA number five for the day. If you do not 615 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 3: recognize the phone number, do not answer it. Let it 616 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 3: go to voicemail. And then if you have any question, 617 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 3: you call one of your kids, call a younger person, 618 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 3: say I got this call. 619 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 2: Do you know they leave a detailed message like these 620 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 2: scammers I've had, and I'm laughing listening to it. 621 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,640 Speaker 1: A couple of times I thought twice. 622 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 3: Like you know what I've done, I've called them back 623 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 3: when they say your you know your tax bill is late. Well, 624 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,800 Speaker 3: I happen to know my tax bill is never late. 625 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 3: And so I call them back and I start whimpering, going, 626 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 3: I'm so afraid. 627 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 4: What do I do? 628 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 3: Oh, we're going to help you. Oh no, I keep 629 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 3: them on the phone. So I figured the longer I 630 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 3: keep them on the phone, the less time they have 631 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,360 Speaker 3: to screw with somebody else's life. 632 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 2: They should all be hung I'm telling you, well, you 633 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 2: know what. It's taking advantage of seniors. 634 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: It's just not right. 635 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 3: I think taking advantage of anybody is true. And and 636 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,040 Speaker 3: but get ready buckle up because scams with AI are 637 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 3: about to you know, multiplis so Golden's. If you're listening. 638 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 3: If you're not sure, don't answer the phone. If you're 639 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 3: not sure, don't open the link. Never open a link 640 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,120 Speaker 3: unless it's from your children. And you'll know what their 641 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 3: email is. Just don't when and down ever, do money. 642 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 2: Don't give them bank accounts, social Security numbers. Be sure, 643 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:00,960 Speaker 2: go check with someone else. 644 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,760 Speaker 3: How about the skim weight? Can we talk about the 645 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 3: love skim Since we are talking, we do love to 646 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 3: talk about dating. How about the. 647 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 2: People they have a friend? Many times I have a 648 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 2: friend who actually. 649 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,840 Speaker 3: Never, She never said money, but she fell in love 650 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 3: with a tall, dark and handsome guy who was not tall, 651 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 3: dark and handsome. He was in jail in Nigeria. I was, 652 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,239 Speaker 3: I mean, it was like, are you kidding me? So 653 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,080 Speaker 3: you know again, if you're if you are desperate for love, 654 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 3: not take do not take two people that email you 655 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 3: out of the clear blue and tell you they love 656 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 3: you and they want to marry you and they live 657 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 3: in Nigeria. 658 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 4: Not a good idea. 659 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 2: Well, I hope we helped you, delco and till that 660 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 2: person get it together with your dollars, tell you you're 661 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,480 Speaker 2: gonna be okay, Just open up your wall a little 662 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 2: and all. 663 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: Our goldens pay attention. 664 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 2: Don't get taken advantage of because it's so done so 665 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:57,920 Speaker 2: often it's. 666 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 1: Sad scams and let word, I know scam. And this 667 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 1: has been fun. 668 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:07,760 Speaker 3: Right, always fun with you, always fine. I love you, 669 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 3: I love you too. Listen, be sure to follow Bachelor 670 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 3: Happy Hour as we have new episodes and new scams 671 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 3: coming down. No scams here, no scams, but we have 672 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 3: new episodes coming out every week. You don't want to 673 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,080 Speaker 3: miss them. We love hearing from you, so you know 674 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:24,640 Speaker 3: what to do. 675 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 2: We absolutely do and make sure you submit your questions. 676 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 2: You can go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, 677 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 2: or just dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. 678 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:40,480 Speaker 3: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, 679 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 3: or wherever you listen to your podcasts until next time. 680 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 1: Next time, have a great week,