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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My wife used to have a wild past, but it

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Speaker 2: disappeared once we got married.

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Speaker 1: Used to be a fair creature, but I tamed.

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Speaker 2: My wife and I have been married for thirteen years

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Speaker 2: and together for fifteen. We have two children and a

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Speaker 2: happy marriage. However, there is something about our relationship that

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Speaker 2: has always bothered me. Uh oh, and I do not

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Speaker 2: know why I'm thinking about it now more than ever,

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Speaker 2: but I am by the way. This comes from deleted

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Speaker 2: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the rslash Okay Storytime subbered it. I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 2: I'm Riley, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy,

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Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 2: do in the comments and opisas. My wife was twenty

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Speaker 2: four and I was twenty five when we met, and

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Speaker 2: prior to dating me, my wife was a very adventurous,

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Speaker 2: spicy ly and has always been very open with me

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Speaker 2: about her past, sharing everything with me in great detail.

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Speaker 2: She has had threesomes, always with two guys, went away

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Speaker 2: on break every year she was in college, and each

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Speaker 2: time had spy said time with multiple men. She has

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Speaker 2: had spicy sleep in hotel always on beach chairs with

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Speaker 2: other people in view. She is a member of the

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Speaker 2: Mile High Club, and she even hooked up with a

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Speaker 2: hotel worker on vacation with her family at Disney World

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Speaker 2: in the family's hotel room while they were at the park.

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Speaker 2: This girl's rice purity score is off the charts.

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Speaker 1: I know, are we upset that she's not like this anymore?

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Speaker 2: I think that he's feeling insecure and had I find out,

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Speaker 2: had I like, were I to give you advice before?

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Speaker 2: You know, you can't really change anything about this?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 2: Where to give you advice before? I would have had

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Speaker 2: a conversation with her about what you need to know.

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Speaker 2: I think it's great that she's honest, and I think

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Speaker 2: that you do need to work through like insecurities because

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Speaker 2: she's not doing any of this now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you need to be a need to know basis.

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Speaker 2: I yeah, I think that there are certain things, like

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Speaker 2: you know, being in a relationship. Now we are honest

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Speaker 2: with each other, of course, but there are also certain

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Speaker 2: things I don't need to know about, and there are

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Speaker 2: certain things where am you know? Part would be like

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Speaker 2: do you want to know this? And I'm like yeah,

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Speaker 2: or no, I don't need to know that.

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Speaker 1: So think I think he just wants to book a

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Speaker 1: stay in the hotel hallway.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that there are certain things that you guys.

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Speaker 2: She should have been like, do you want to know this?

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Speaker 2: And if you said yes, that's on you.

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Speaker 3: How was this information given to you that I'm curious.

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Speaker 2: Many of those experiences were with guys she was dating,

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Speaker 2: but many were not. Then all of a sudden, she

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Speaker 2: meets me and just stops. After all those men, all

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Speaker 2: that spicy sleep, she.

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Speaker 1: Was just done.

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Speaker 2: I have been the only one she has been with

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Speaker 2: in fifteen years. I am sure of that, because since

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Speaker 2: we've been together, I can barely remember a night when

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Speaker 2: we were not together. She stopped clubbing, she stopped going

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Speaker 2: to parties without me. She just stopped at all. She

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Speaker 2: told me after our first date she knew she was done,

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Speaker 2: all right.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of weird, though, this is like, nah.

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Speaker 3: Dude, Opie's magical.

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Speaker 1: This is first date. I' just like, I know, I'm

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Speaker 1: settling down with you for the rest of my life.

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Speaker 1: First date, I'm done, it's over.

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Speaker 2: This just reminds me of like the Bible. And on

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Speaker 2: the seventh day he was like, this is good. We're

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Speaker 2: done here.

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Speaker 4: Everything's perfect, just fit it and that was all and

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Speaker 4: he said, all right, we're good now. I think that's

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Speaker 4: totally a possibility. I think she probably, you know, at

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Speaker 4: a moment where she was like, you know, I like

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Speaker 4: this guy. Do I want to continue everything I've been doing?

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Speaker 4: Or maybe is a time to switch up?

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Speaker 1: That almost feels like the opposite side of her previous

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Speaker 1: behavior of being like very spicily adventurous, but like to

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Speaker 1: an extreme almost, it sounds like, and then snapping back

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Speaker 1: to the extreme of like yeah, and I've gone on

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Speaker 1: one date with this guy and I'll never be with

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Speaker 1: another guy ever again.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I guess so when you are with a

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Speaker 2: lot of people, yeah, you have a lot of things

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Speaker 2: to base it off.

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Speaker 1: She's very a very extreme swing one way and the

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Speaker 1: other hot, okay, you're hot.

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Speaker 2: Ope my commodity. She said, I cannot pass this guy up.

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Speaker 2: Her friends didn't know what happened to her. I never

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Speaker 2: asked her to stop going out. She just did it

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Speaker 2: on her own. Now, what bothers me about her past

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Speaker 2: is not that she was spicily active. I do not

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Speaker 2: think less of her. What does bother me is how

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Speaker 2: spicy she used to be but is not with me.

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Speaker 1: I knew it.

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Speaker 2: We have good spicy sleep. She always likes it, and

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Speaker 2: most times more than one. And we still, even after

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Speaker 2: all these years, have spicy sleep three or four times

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Speaker 2: a week, but we do not do it anywhere but

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Speaker 2: in bed, and never have.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Buddy, I'm gonna be real. You got a golden goose.

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Speaker 1: Here he wants the hotel hallway genuinely.

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Speaker 2: OPI easy solution. I think you go to her and

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Speaker 2: you say, hey, Mike, you know you've told me a

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Speaker 2: lot of these experiences that you have, uh or you've

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Speaker 2: had in the past, And honestly, I really want to

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Speaker 2: be more adventurous in our spicy sleep life. And I

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Speaker 2: think all of those sounds like, all of those things

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Speaker 2: sound like really fun, and I think it would really like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, just add like a fun element to

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Speaker 2: our relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yep. And we're going to your grandma's house next weekend, we're.

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Speaker 2: Going to your grandma's house and Disneyland, so we really

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Speaker 2: gotta we gotta start incorporating these. I think this is

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Speaker 2: a pretty easy conversation to have. It is not rough,

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Speaker 2: there's no dirty talk. It's passionate, but in a loving way.

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Speaker 2: He's like, she loves me, I guess, and that is

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Speaker 2: the way she says she wants it. She tells me

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Speaker 2: she doesn't want to have spicy sleep the way she

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Speaker 2: used to. She says she didn't like the way it

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Speaker 2: made her feel about herself. I get that with the

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Speaker 2: three sums and the random lookups, but what about what

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Speaker 2: the guy she was dating. I've met a few of them,

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Speaker 2: and to be honest, I got a little intimidated when

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Speaker 2: I did. My wife called them poodles. They look pretty,

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Speaker 2: but they're just dogs.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, what a bar Okay, dang, but they were your dogs.

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Speaker 2: They were your dogs, and you can't return them to

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Speaker 2: the shelter. I'm realizing that we didn't do that here,

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Speaker 2: so you guys don't have any context for that.

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Speaker 1: Mine.

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Speaker 2: That was from a previous story that we read.

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Speaker 1: I just really want I can't say it though.

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Speaker 2: It's okay, So I guess that made me feel better,

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Speaker 2: But I still think of all the things she did

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Speaker 2: with them and does not do with me, And I

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Speaker 2: wonder if she misses that kind of spicy sleep.

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Speaker 1: Well, she's told you straight up that she does it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she said she doesn't feel.

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Speaker 1: Great about it. Maybe just listen to that.

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Speaker 2: So my question for everyone, and women especially it's me.

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Speaker 2: Do you have husband? I don't have husband. That is

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Speaker 2: not the best spicy sleep you've ever had or did

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Speaker 2: not bring out in your wild spicy side. How do

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Speaker 2: you feel about that? Honestly? Do you feel unfulfilled? I

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Speaker 2: love my wife more than I thought I could love anyone.

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Speaker 2: She is intimidatingly beautiful, funny, and just plain cool. I

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Speaker 2: have been just having a hard time lately thinking that

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Speaker 2: she's settled for me. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Uh,

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Speaker 2: and there is an update. But do you have any thoughts? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Well, I'd like to hear from you, Sophia as a woman,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, as a woman.

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Speaker 1: The only woman whose opinion or thoughts on that matter

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Speaker 1: is your wife or your.

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Speaker 2: Wife agreed as a woman, Ask your wife how she feels. Say, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I know that you have this history that we've talked

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Speaker 2: about I just want to make sure that I'm doing

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Speaker 2: everything that I can to fulfill you. And also, Opie,

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Speaker 2: ask yourself, maybe this isn't just about your wife, you know, uh,

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Speaker 2: and what she needs or what you think she needs.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's you thinking I I do want to spice

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Speaker 2: up you know, our spicy sleep life.

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Speaker 1: In the hallway.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can bring that up and say, hey, like,

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Speaker 2: I've actually been thinking about that. This is something I

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Speaker 2: want to try and maybe we can find a compromise

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Speaker 2: in there. But don't come to us, go to your wife.

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Speaker 1: Let's buy a bean bag chair.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that.

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Speaker 1: So it's not on the bed.

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Speaker 3: Start small starts somewhere, love seat, let's fine, kitchen counter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, why am I? I was gonna make any suggestion?

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Speaker 2: What's it called when the rollout bed? A rolluton? Is

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Speaker 2: that what it's called? Yeah, it's just a matt Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you could buy a futon.

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Speaker 3: Still there, guys, put some suggestions in the chat where

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Speaker 3: we could start.

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Speaker 2: You could buy an air mattress, which is fun because it.

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Speaker 1: Sinks, so fun.

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Speaker 2: Okay, update, thanks for all the comments. They do help.

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Speaker 2: I had been thinking lately about a friend of mine

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Speaker 2: whose wife cheated on him with a younger guy at

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Speaker 2: work because her spicy, sleet life was dull with him.

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Speaker 2: So I guess that triggered me. My wife is not

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Speaker 2: ashamed of anything she's ever done. She thinks it was

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Speaker 2: all fun. She got arrested on spring break one year

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Speaker 2: for letting a guy go down on her in a

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Speaker 2: public trolley, and she still has the mugshot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, crime, crime, public phonecation is a crime.

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Speaker 3: Wild were there?

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Speaker 1: It's a bad crime too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a bad crime.

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Speaker 1: Crime. And that's crime. Ladies and gentlemen, that's a crime.

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Speaker 2: Why are you telling us that that one's like not

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Speaker 2: even like a oh haha jokes.

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Speaker 1: That's like, it's always crime.

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Speaker 2: That's a really bad one.

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Speaker 1: Doing it in public is a crime. It's always a crime.

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Speaker 1: It's a crime.

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Speaker 3: I think it's just shown how crazy she used to

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Speaker 3: be compared to now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but he said, she's not ashamed of any I

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Speaker 2: hope you're ashamed of that one. I've seen it. She

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Speaker 2: thinks it's funny, so it's not like she was unhappy before.

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Speaker 2: She smiles when she tells me all the wild things

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Speaker 2: she used to do. She also changed literally overnight. I

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Speaker 2: met my wife at a bar her friends in mine

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Speaker 2: played pool together. My friend asked for her number, which

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Speaker 2: she gave. I did not think I had a shot

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Speaker 2: with her, so I didn't try. So her and her

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Speaker 2: friends leave the bar, go to a club where she

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Speaker 2: meets another guy and, as spicy, sleep with him later

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Speaker 2: that night. The next day, my friend calls her and

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Speaker 2: she asked him for my number. She called me, and

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Speaker 2: the rest is history. The abruptness has always confused me,

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Speaker 2: no gradual realization. She stopped cold after one date with me.

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Speaker 2: I have talked about all of this with my wife,

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Speaker 2: although I have never let on that I am insecure

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Speaker 2: about it. Let On, let on be honest, be open.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't have to.

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Speaker 2: Blame her for it. You don't have to be like,

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Speaker 2: it's your pot that I need secure. You can just

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Speaker 2: say I know that your you know loyal to me,

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Speaker 2: and you love me and everything. I am insecure for

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Speaker 2: my own reasons, and she says a lot of the

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Speaker 2: same things many of you have said. I have never

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Speaker 2: asked her if I am the best she's ever had,

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Speaker 2: because I don't care so much about being the best,

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Speaker 2: but being someone that she lusts for for lack of

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Speaker 2: a better term, because that's how I think about her.

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Speaker 2: The woman can barely dress for work without me jumping her.

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Speaker 2: She says, I am that for her too, But I

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Speaker 2: do wonder if she's just telling me that not to

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Speaker 2: hurt my feelings, which is why I'm here asking strangers

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Speaker 2: to give it to me straight. And there is a

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Speaker 2: second update. But what do you think.

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Speaker 1: Giving it to you straight? Get that bean bag chair,

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Speaker 1: Get that bean bag chair, be honest, to be honest.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, are you initiating any of this or are you

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Speaker 3: just expecting it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Because that would probably help out too. Ooh, let's go

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Speaker 3: on this weekend getaway in this fancy dancy shower. I

250
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Speaker 3: don't know, I got one of those.

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Speaker 1: The fancy dancy shower.

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Speaker 2: Osmash we do no fancy dancy in the fancy shower.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, ooh yeah, I can do that. Pull for you.

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Speaker 1: Awesome, Ashley crazy.

255
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Speaker 2: It's crazy. Bol Also, I think there's a huge difference

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Speaker 2: between just like general public and doing it on a bus,

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Speaker 2: presumably where people like saw this to the point where

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Speaker 2: the police hat to get involved.

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Speaker 1: There's people doing it everywhere.

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Speaker 2: Stop stop it, don't do it on a bus.

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Speaker 1: The world is your oyster crazy can I vote?

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Speaker 3: I'd like to vote. What's your vote, Dakota? What have

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Speaker 3: you done it in public? Yes? Okay, Savilla, I'm not

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Speaker 3: commenting on that. That's also yes. We got two yeses over.

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Speaker 2: Here yes, no, but I'm not commenting on it.

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Speaker 3: It's a know so we got one no, one yes,

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Speaker 3: and another yes.

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Speaker 2: All right. Update. I got a lot of comments yesterday

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Speaker 2: that really helped me and actually inspired me to finally

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Speaker 2: talk to my wife last night about how I have

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Speaker 2: been feeling, and I wanted to share how it went.

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Speaker 2: We went into why she used to act the way

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Speaker 2: she did and why she chose to change. My wife

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Speaker 2: has always had a high spicy sleep drive and still

275
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Speaker 2: does so. Once she got to college, she realized that

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Speaker 2: she could basically have spicy sleep with whoever she wanted

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Speaker 2: to the power of being able to walk into a bar,

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Speaker 2: pick out the best looking guy in the place, and

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Speaker 2: know that she was gonna have him if she wanted.

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Speaker 2: Then this girl got confidence.

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Speaker 4: Day.

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Speaker 2: Many times she did not follow through on it, and

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Speaker 2: she got off and teasing them just as much. She

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Speaker 2: admitted she liked the thrill of having spicy sleep where

285
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Speaker 2: she could be seen or having it unexpectedly with someone

286
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Speaker 2: she met through her day, but found that the high

287
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Speaker 2: she got was not so much from the act itself.

288
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Speaker 2: She liked the chase and the challenge more than the

289
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Speaker 2: spicy sleep. Now with the guy, she stated it was different.

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Speaker 2: She admitted the spicy sleep was good, but she never

291
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Speaker 2: really found a connection with any of them. She got

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Speaker 2: sick of them quick and was on to the next one.

293
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Speaker 2: Then she met me. Now this part is not new

294
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Speaker 2: to me, but I will share for context. The morning

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Speaker 2: after she met me, while still laying in bed next

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Speaker 2: to the guy she slept with the night before, she

297
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Speaker 2: found herself thinking about me, a guy she had only

298
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Speaker 2: talked to for about fifteen minutes the night before. We

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Speaker 2: were both working in public accounting at the time at

300
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Speaker 2: big firms, and if you know it anything about those

301
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Speaker 2: big firms.

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Speaker 1: It's a heck.

303
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Speaker 2: So we talked about that and really didn't even flirt,

304
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Speaker 2: just talked. I kissed her on our first date, and

305
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Speaker 2: she said she knew she was done at that moment.

306
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Speaker 2: She said it was that feeling that made her want

307
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Speaker 2: to change. She said, when she would have spicy sleep

308
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Speaker 2: with a random guy, or even wild spicy sleep with

309
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Speaker 2: the guy she was dating. She really felt nothing afterwards,

310
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Speaker 2: and on many occasions kind of crappy. The high before

311
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Speaker 2: was stimulating, but it was short lived. Oh.

312
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Speaker 3: Interesting, because you can only have passion for so long

313
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Speaker 3: and then you long for compassion.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm, it's nice, she said. She felt happy after she

315
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Speaker 2: kissed me, and it lasted for days. Ah, she had

316
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Speaker 2: a crush on you. I liked you. I have actually

317
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Speaker 2: never got into that much detail with her before last night.

318
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Speaker 2: We have talked about it all before, but it was

319
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Speaker 2: in the beginning of our relationship and never as deep

320
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Speaker 2: of a conversation as last night. I had never fully

321
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Speaker 2: understood as she could change so drastically overnight. But I

322
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Speaker 2: think I understand a little better now. There is a

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Speaker 2: little bit left to this story. Do you have any

324
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Speaker 2: final thought.

325
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Speaker 3: I like that you guys had a deep conversation.

326
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Speaker 1: You find out your wife has a crush.

327
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Speaker 2: You like yours. You, well, my boyfriend told me when

328
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Speaker 2: he likes me, I love it.

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Speaker 1: It's just interesting that she was like, yeah, I was

330
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Speaker 1: just like a maniac about it. And then when I

331
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Speaker 1: realized I thought about you, I was like, I guess

332
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Speaker 1: this is it. Yeah, that's it. I'm thinking about a

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Speaker 1: man who's not the man next to me, who will

334
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,640
Speaker 1: not be the man next to me next time. Anyway,

335
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Speaker 1: I now will stay with you for the rest of

336
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Speaker 1: my life. I kind of loved it, but only in

337
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,480
Speaker 1: the bed. I don't know it. Give himself a nice

338
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Speaker 1: little hallway, Yeah, find a nice a nice empty hallway.

339
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Speaker 2: Somewhere empty empty. If you're doing it in public, make

340
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Speaker 2: sure there's no one around. Do that.

341
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Speaker 3: I don't know.

342
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Speaker 1: Just you're telling him not to just live it up.

343
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Speaker 1: Don't do the hallway. Don't do the hallway. I'm joking.

344
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Speaker 3: The hallway people walk on it.

345
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Speaker 1: Well, your hallway is an empty hallway, not the PubL

346
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Speaker 1: not the not the public hallway. Yeah, that's what I

347
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:07,760
Speaker 1: was saying.

348
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, not a hallway that everyone's walking through.

349
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Speaker 3: Yeah, biblioll check them. They'll walk around all right, going

350
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,760
Speaker 3: back to the pole or oh there's more. Yeah, but

351
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,160
Speaker 3: just up there in the hole. What's eighty three percent

352
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,680
Speaker 3: of you have done it publicly?

353
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Speaker 2: You better not have done it where people could see it.

354
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Speaker 1: Sofia, that's the whole point.

355
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Speaker 3: That's public. Someone could be there, someone could.

356
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Speaker 1: Walk in there. I don't like that.

357
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Speaker 2: I'm gonna choose to believe that you guys were were careful.

358
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Speaker 1: No, it's eighty three percent crime.

359
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,520
Speaker 2: No, no crime.

360
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Speaker 3: Oh now we're back to eighty Okay, it's a little.

361
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Speaker 2: Better because if it's like in a bathroom stall, sure, okay, fine, library, library,

362
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Speaker 2: as long as no one's walking through that.

363
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Speaker 1: No, I can't control them.

364
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to tell them, don't do it in

365
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Speaker 2: front of people.

366
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Speaker 1: It is pure adults. People got to expelled at my

367
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Speaker 1: high school for that.

368
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you got your

369
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,760
Speaker 2: careful all right.

370
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:02,040
Speaker 1: Now.

371
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,840
Speaker 2: As to why she does not want to have dirty,

372
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,720
Speaker 2: spicy sleep with me like she did with all the

373
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,800
Speaker 2: other guys she has been with, is because I'm not

374
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 2: those other guys. She saw me different from the first

375
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,760
Speaker 2: conversation in that bar. She doesn't want to talk dirty

376
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,600
Speaker 2: to me because she doesn't think dirty things when she

377
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,960
Speaker 2: thinks about me. Slicy sleep is not the first thing

378
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,920
Speaker 2: that jumps into her mind when she thinks of me.

379
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,560
Speaker 1: When I think of you, why, I think of a

380
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,240
Speaker 1: I think of at with marshmallows.

381
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 2: I think of a nice book and a fireplace.

382
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 1: I think of a sea otter. I think of a

383
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 1: cute little animal man.

384
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 2: I am not just some tool to get a thrill

385
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 2: or a poodle, as she likes to call a lot

386
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 2: of the men she dated. Then she asks, do you

387
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 2: not want to be the exception? I told her I

388
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,320
Speaker 2: did and started to feel better.

389
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:45,800
Speaker 1: Oh.

390
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,360
Speaker 2: I know it may come across as shallow, but no

391
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 2: guy wants to be boring in bed, safe, dependable, nice.

392
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,480
Speaker 2: Those are dirty words for love. Men we like to

393
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 2: be desired as much as women do. We just often

394
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,320
Speaker 2: do not express it all. A woman that does not

395
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,879
Speaker 2: desire you spicy sleepally is just a friend. I never

396
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,760
Speaker 2: wanted to be that for my wife, and I have

397
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 2: always wondered if my wife found me boring, especially given

398
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,400
Speaker 2: the life she led before me. Our conversation last night

399
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 2: made me feel better. I will still wonder, but I

400
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 2: will not as much. Later on we had spicy sleep

401
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,399
Speaker 2: and I was really good. She even talked dirty a

402
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 2: little bit, not too much, but enough. All right, then

403
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,920
Speaker 2: open communication for the win.

404
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:28,879
Speaker 3: That's how we do it.

405
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 2: I also love that it wasn't an insecurity born of

406
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 2: you know, being like my wife shouldn't have had those experiences.

407
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 2: I think less of her. It was literally just him

408
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,440
Speaker 2: being like, is she being satisfied? Am I doing enough?

409
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 1: I really like, I like, do I secretly suck? Did

410
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,160
Speaker 1: she go from broncos to slow ponies? What's going on here?

411
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,359
Speaker 1: What's going on? What's going on here?

412
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,920
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story, folks.

413
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,200
Speaker 1: And gay get yourself that bean bag chair.

414
00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 2: Get yourself bean bag chair, dot it down.

415
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 1: In the middle of the public square and say, everybody

416
00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,479
Speaker 1: look away.

417
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,359
Speaker 2: Third base on a Ferris wheel? Does that count?

418
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 1: What a circus act?

419
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 3: I was thinking all the way, like, have you done

420
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,679
Speaker 3: it all the way in public?

421
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 2: I think you're all right a third base on a

422
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 2: Ferris wheel? Unless it was really obvious, then you're not.

423
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 3: Then I'm like, did you have a big o moment? Well?

424
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,720
Speaker 2: Where were were you on the top?

425
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,480
Speaker 1: Did you climbate far away.

426
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 3: The climax of the Ferris wheel? That's what I'm asking

427
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 3: the Apex.

428
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,880
Speaker 2: You at the top, the Apex wheel man.

429
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,240
Speaker 1: Of the Ferris wheel, We're like the fairest Whee'll be

430
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,119
Speaker 1: doing it on this Ferris wheel, Ferris, Ferris will be

431
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 1: taking our clothes off. Now, that was good. Ferris will

432
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 1: never be allowed back into this fair ever again.

433
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,439
Speaker 2: Oh man, But we're gonna get that next story up.

434
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,879
Speaker 1: My husband changed after he sold his dream truck for

435
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,400
Speaker 1: our incoming baby.

436
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 2: Baby can't drive baby can't drive that truck, but can't

437
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,880
Speaker 2: drive a baby in the outback.

438
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 1: My husband twenty six male, and I twenty six female,

439
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 1: have been together for four years and married for two

440
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 1: of those years. We always planned on having children, but

441
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 1: seven months ago we found out here what's happening a

442
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 1: lot sooner than we imagined. By the way, this comes

443
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 1: from user March second x and if you want to

444
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

445
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,159
Speaker 1: storytime subburned it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and

446
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 1: we are here collectively to give you a good advice googlely.

447
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 1: But we don't have all answers. We only know what

448
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 1: we do, so let us know what you would do

449
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,439
Speaker 1: in the comments. As Op says, he bought the truck

450
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 1: right before we met. He loved it. I guess you

451
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 1: could say he was even slightly obsessed with it. I

452
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 1: knew this before we started dating, and it didn't change

453
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: in the four years we have been together. He spent

454
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 1: a lot of money on it and continued to spend

455
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,399
Speaker 1: a lot of money on it. Everything he did in

456
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 1: his spare time had to do with his truck. All

457
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,200
Speaker 1: his friends are truck guys like him, and he's even

458
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,879
Speaker 1: in this cute little truck club. Yeah, what's the name

459
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 1: of your truck club? Ah, the cute little truck club.

460
00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 2: Guys, cute little truck club like guys. Oh you're my

461
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 2: baby here in the truck club.

462
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 5: Cot TCGs, TLTCG, TLC CLTCG like tough love and care,

463
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 5: no truck love and cars truck.

464
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: All his friends are truck guys like him, and is

465
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,959
Speaker 1: even in this cute little truck club. Since we've been together,

466
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: I don't think we have taken my car anywhere we

467
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: have been together. Actually, he doesn't make great money, but

468
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 1: he likes his job and still paid his portion of everything,

469
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,159
Speaker 1: so I never had a problem with him spending his

470
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 1: little bit of extra money on his truck. We found

471
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: out I was pregnant and we were both scared, shocked,

472
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 1: and excited. A few months ago, he brought up that

473
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,119
Speaker 1: he doesn't know if he'll be able to afford the

474
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 1: truck and the baby. I didn't even know if it

475
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,239
Speaker 1: would be practical with how big and loud the truck is.

476
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 1: We didn't talk about it for a while, and then

477
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,400
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago he told me that, as much

478
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: as he didn't want to, he was going to try

479
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 1: and sell the truck because the baby was getting so close.

480
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,919
Speaker 1: He said he couldn't afford the payments and upkeep and

481
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 1: maintenance on the truck if we were raising a chuck.

482
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 1: He was in good spirits about it and found potential

483
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 1: buyers very quickly. Nice he sold it a couple of

484
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 1: days later for what he wanted and bought a car

485
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 1: the next day. It's been around three weeks since he

486
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 1: sold the truck and he has changed completely. Not a

487
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 1: man without his truck, like a like a cat without

488
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: its claws.

489
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, there we go, a dog without its ball.

490
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 1: Just something is innately wrong.

491
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so sad.

492
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: We are always laughing and having fun together, and I

493
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 1: don't think i've seen him smile since. I've done everything

494
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: I can think of to make him feel better and

495
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 1: to get his mind off it, and nothing is work.

496
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: He just comes home from work and watches TV until bed.

497
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 1: He's mopey and just drains the energy out of the room.

498
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 1: As mean as that sounds, I asked him why he

499
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 1: hasn't been hanging out with his friends anymore. And he

500
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,440
Speaker 1: told me because he sold his truck.

501
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,479
Speaker 3: What friends are those?

502
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 2: He only hung out with his friends because they bonded

503
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 2: over a truck.

504
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: Why didn't you just maybe sell your truck truck to

505
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 1: get a different truck that is maybe more feasible to

506
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: own while having a child.

507
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 2: Dang man, this poor guy just doesn't have any non

508
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:10,719
Speaker 2: truck friends.

509
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe give them.

510
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe you could. You could join a fishing.

511
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 3: Clothe ooh, mis kidding. Got says that sounds like a

512
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 3: horse groll life.

513
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: I guess so. Horse girls are pretty much the same thing.

514
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,959
Speaker 1: So it turns out our friends were the trucks we

515
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 1: owned along the way, and without the truck we are friendless.

516
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 2: Bummer.

517
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: He said everything they did was related two trucks somehow,

518
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,640
Speaker 1: and it wouldn't be the same. Last night, he told

519
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 1: me he feels resentment and bitterness towards.

520
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 2: Me, even though it was one hundred percent.

521
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 1: His decision to sell the truck, and he doesn't know

522
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 1: why he feels that way.

523
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an issue that he needs to fix.

524
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 1: What can I do to help him get past all this?

525
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 3: Is?

526
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 1: He depressed. I just don't know what to do. I

527
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: know it was just a truck, but it had more

528
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 1: of an impact on him than I thought it would.

529
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 1: And there are some relevant comments.

530
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:58,719
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, not your problem, like or it

531
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 2: wasn't your anything that you to cause it. The only

532
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 2: thing I would suggest is is just keep affirming that

533
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 2: it is a big deal. It is a tough thing

534
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 2: to lose. He cared about it deeply. If you can

535
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 2: afford therapy, therapy, yeah, and just say like, yeah, I

536
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 2: really understand that you sacrificed this thing that you care

537
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 2: a lot about. But remember we're doing this for our

538
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 2: baby that.

539
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 1: We're raising and having a baby.

540
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

541
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 1: And if your truck friends were only friends when you

542
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: had the truck, are they really your friends? That's a

543
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 1: good question, Like what what else you couldn't pull up

544
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,239
Speaker 1: at at an outing? Yeah, without your truck without it

545
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: just being like, well check out Bozo over here without

546
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 1: his trust having a baby. So he got rid of

547
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: his truck, Bozo status zer.

548
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 3: I wonder what kind of truck it was. I'm like, oh,

549
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 3: here we go, Okay, I found some optics. Okay, keep going.

550
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 1: There are some comments panic Bread says sounds like it

551
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,440
Speaker 1: was a huge mistake to sell that truck. People don't

552
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: have the ability to give up who they are just

553
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 1: because they have children. Maybe he wouldn't have had the

554
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: money to keep it in tiptop shape, but who cares

555
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: encourage him to take some of the money from the

556
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: sale and buy a less expensive truck. Op replies, Yeah,

557
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,399
Speaker 1: I know he regrets it, but he had an eight

558
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: hundred dollars monthly payment on it plus everything else. Like

559
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: gow a truck did he buy? That's his fansil, I

560
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 1: know what truck he bought. I won't say it, though,

561
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 1: because no free sponsors. I asked him why he didn't

562
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 1: get an older and less expensive truck, and he said

563
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 1: he would rather just have a car than downgrade from

564
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:25,679
Speaker 1: his dream truck. That's silly. You're downgrading anyway. You downgraded

565
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: to a car, just if you're a truck nut. Downgrade

566
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: to a truck. A different truck, though, doesn't have eight

567
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 1: hundred dollars silly boy monthly payment. Silly silly boy. I'm

568
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 1: hoping he has a change of heart and decides to

569
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 1: sell or trade the car in for a more affordable truck.

570
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 1: He should one thousand percent. Just do that, Just do.

571
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 2: That, and then you can go hang out with your

572
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 2: truck friends again.

573
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: Crazy Mike says, sounds like he not only gave up

574
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 1: his truck but also his social circle. Being cut off

575
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: from your friends feels incredibly lonely. Maybe reach out to

576
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: his truck buddies for some ideas on how to re

577
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,959
Speaker 1: engage him into their circle. Maybe they can find it

578
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: projects truck they can all work on together. If he's

579
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: close with them, then surely even they don't want him

580
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: to just disappear op he replies. They have reached out

581
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: to him to come hang out and such, but he

582
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 1: said he would feel weird and kind of uncomfortable doing

583
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 1: the kind of stuff they did before and not having

584
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: his own truck.

585
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 2: My god, you gotta just do it.

586
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: My sympathy is gone for this man.

587
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. What were you guys doing with those trucks that

588
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 3: you have to have your own truck to do?

589
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 2: I just feel weird if it truck.

590
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would just feel weird because when we would

591
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: kiss and stuff, like, we would always be like on

592
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: the like the side of my truck. Yeah, we would

593
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 1: kiss a hog and dance. Come on, like, Yeah, at

594
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: this point, you're he's doing it to himself. He's thrown

595
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 1: himself a little pity party he is over something he

596
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,639
Speaker 1: did to himself, but it sounds like he knows that.

597
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: He's like, I am feeling resentment towards you, and I

598
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 1: know that I did this. I hope so, but I'm

599
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 1: just grappling with that. Brother. The solution is just getting

600
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: the truck.

601
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 2: Get a truck, or hang out with your friends without

602
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: the truck.

603
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, one of those. What kind of truck did the

604
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 1: husband had? He had a Ram, thirty five hundred Cummings.

605
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: I hope he comes around and becomes okay with getting

606
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 1: a smaller, maybe inferior truck.

607
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, so so this is the one he had, Dakota.

608
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's seventy thousand dollars truck.

609
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then I was thinking he could get a

610
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 3: truck like this.

611
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, no ranger, a little truck, a little reasonable Tacoma whatever. Yeah,

612
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: just a downgrade something that has two doors still so

613
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 1: you can put the baby in there.

614
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 2: Get that baby in there.

615
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: And there's a last comment from op here. Thanks for

616
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: all the feedback and advice. We have a doctor's appointment

617
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: today and I'm going to try to talk to him

618
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: more about it after. And there's an update. It's really,

619
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: it just sounds so like simple that it sounds like

620
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: he just buys another truck and stops being a baby.

621
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 2: And I think he knows that, and I'm hoping that

622
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 2: he takes like a week another week to mope and

623
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 2: then kind of gets back on his feet.

624
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 1: Can't be a baby when you got one on the way.

625
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can't do babies.

626
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: Oh No, he gave up.

627
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 3: He sacrificed a lot for himself for a kid. It's tough.

628
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 2: He can do it, which is why I'm hoping that, like,

629
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 2: maybe in a week he'll be fine.

630
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 3: To Cooda has no sympathy for this man.

631
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: Get a Toyota High Looks nineteen eighty five. Toyota High

632
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: Looks will never treat you wrong.

633
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 3: Update three weeks later.

634
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to post an update because it's nice reading

635
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: positive outcomes on here. I got a lot of responses

636
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 1: and it really helped me better understand what he was

637
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: going through. We were finally able to have a good

638
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: talk about it. He told me what a lot of

639
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: you said, that the truck was his identity and.

640
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 3: Part of who he was checks out, which come.

641
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: On, man, Like, honestly, I get it to some extent,

642
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: but like if your whole identity is an object, I

643
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: don't know. That seems like flimsy.

644
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I took the sawmill away from my grandpa,

645
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 3: I feel like he'd have a hard time adjusting.

646
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,239
Speaker 1: But that's more like if you took away Like he

647
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,239
Speaker 1: was a mechanic and he sold his business. Yeah, like

648
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: that's you know, I changed, he sold all these change

649
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 1: But the thing to me that's getting me is he

650
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: could have just gotten a different truck, but he he

651
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 1: instead went all the way to car knowing that he

652
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: would have this kind of response.

653
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 2: I don't think he would have this kind of response.

654
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 2: I think he was happy and then he was like

655
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 2: my druck. It's like, this is such a niche reference.

656
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 2: I'm not that niche. But in Boy Meets World, one

657
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 2: of the characters to Penga, she's trying to teach Corey,

658
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 2: the main character, this lesson about like your appearance, your

659
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 2: outward appearances don't matter, and I don't really care about

660
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 2: my appearance. And so she was very long hair. She

661
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,199
Speaker 2: just cuts it. She's like, see, I'm fine, and then

662
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 2: a minute later she's like and I feel like that's

663
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 2: what abenam.

664
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, She's like you should have just bought an old Toyota.

665
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 2: My god, I think he'll get over it.

666
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 1: I told him I knew he didn't want that car

667
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: he bought, and he told me I was right. We

668
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 1: talked more and eventually figured out something that would work.

669
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: He sold the car he had, and we agreed he

670
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: could just use mine. Our schedule works out to where

671
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: he could take me to work and pick me up

672
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: on time. It wasn't a big hassle. And I was

673
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: going on maternity leave soon anyways.

674
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 2: Wait, so now both of you just don't have a car.

675
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 3: I mean, I think they're getting to a game plan here.

676
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: So he's I think, selling his car and gonna use

677
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: it to be to save it for a new one maybe.

678
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: And there's a little bit more of this story here.

679
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: He found a total truck for sale and the engine

680
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: was still in good condition. It was the engine he wanted.

681
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 1: He bought the truck for what was supposedly a really

682
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: good deal, and him and a couple friends ripped everything

683
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: out that he needed and got rid of the body.

684
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 2: Oh, now he has a little project to work on.

685
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: The engine is in our garage now. It took him

686
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, but he found a truck to

687
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: put the engine into and him and a friend are

688
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: gonna pick it up this weekend. Ah. He's back to

689
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: his old self again and baby's gonna be here soon

690
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: and we couldn't be more excited. Ah. And that's the

691
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: end of this story.

692
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, here's a solution. All he had to do was overhaul,

693
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: was get another truck.

694
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: It's my favorite, one of my favorite terms and words.

695
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: To get another truck.

696
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 1: You overhaul. Overhauls when you take an engine and you

697
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: and you replace the engine. Overhaul.

698
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 3: That's so cute. I love it. It's it's a Southerners

699
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 3: little dream.

700
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 2: Oh you got a little baby, You got a truck.

701
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: He's got two babies now and one is in the

702
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 1: shape of an eight cylinder V eight.

703
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. And we've got

704
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 2: another one coming right up.

705
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 1: Sam Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But

706
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: here's three of its bads from our sponsors.

707
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 2: My husband thinks I'm lazy for doing everything while he

708
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 2: does nothing.

709
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: What is this opposite day?

710
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay storytime

711
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 2: Separate It I thirty six female have been married to

712
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 2: my husband thirty nine male for around seven years. I

713
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 2: met my husband while he was in the military, and

714
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: I had, up until the last two years, made as

715
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 2: much or more money than him. I also did most

716
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 2: of the cooking, cleaning, and general home duties, as well

717
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 2: as looking after our three young kids six and under.

718
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Apprehensive Hat twenty three

719
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 2: seventy two and if you want to smit your own stories,

720
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime. Cebrit It. I'm Sophia,

721
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, and we're here to give good advice. Goofy.

722
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the air. We only know

723
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 2: what we'd do, so let us know what you would

724
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 2: do in the comments, and op says. Luckily, with the

725
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 2: money I was making, I was able to hire a

726
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 2: weekly cleaner as well as a nanny for a few

727
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 2: hours a day to take care of the kids. The

728
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 2: evening routine dinner, bath, teeth book, and bed has always

729
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 2: been my job.

730
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: Everyone knows dinner, bath teeth book, bed, dinner, bath teeth book, bed,

731
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: no matter how busy I was with work.

732
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 2: Because my husband doesn't like doing it. He has a

733
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 2: short temper with the kids, so I generally am their

734
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: default parent.

735
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: That's concerning.

736
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 2: That's a little concerning. You have a default parent because

737
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 2: he has a short temper with your children.

738
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: He needs to work on that.

739
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had some issues in our relationship a few

740
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 2: years ago because I was so burnt out and overwhelmed

741
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: with taking care of everyone. On top of a job

742
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 2: where it's common to work evenings and weekends in real estate,

743
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 2: I didn't get days off between work and the kids.

744
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 2: Fast forward to last year, my husband retired from the

745
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: military got a high paying chop. We decided I would

746
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 2: stop working and focus on our side incomes. We had

747
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 2: a couple of rental properties and recently purchased a franchise,

748
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 2: which unfortunately is yet to break ground. We agreed that

749
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 2: I could do online school to get my MBA because

750
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 2: it would benefit our new business. In addition, I would

751
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 2: be the main caretaker for our kids and the home.

752
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 2: I'm also the sole caretaker of our dog and cats,

753
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 2: and literally do everything around the house, including taking out

754
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 2: the trash, changing light bulbs, and more. My husband is

755
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 2: not handy. What can your husband do anything?

756
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: Apparently, you can go to work and get paid and

757
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,719
Speaker 1: make more kids. How's he in the military am.

758
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 2: He's not handy, so anything I can't do myself, I

759
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 2: have to hire out. I also take care of all

760
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: of our finances, pay our bills, handle our budgets, big purchases, investments,

761
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 2: and rentals.

762
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: No, it's circling back to the handiness and not being

763
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: able to do things. You know. YouTube has a lot

764
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 1: of great video on how to do stuff around the house.

765
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 2: I also manage all of the kids' sports, doctor appointments,

766
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 2: school matters, and other logistics. Literally, what does he do?

767
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 2: I wake up before my husband in the morning to

768
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 2: make him his coffee and breakfast so it's ready for him.

769
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 2: This girl also works. Yeah, you also work and you

770
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 2: do everything. I also wake up early with the kids

771
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 2: every weekend, letting him sleep in on Saturdays and Sundays.

772
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 2: The trade off for this was supposed to be that

773
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 2: I get a midday nap. I only occasionally get to

774
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: take these naps, and if I do, it's followed by

775
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: my husband immediately needing a nap or a break from

776
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 2: the kids, so he'll stay in our bedroom for the

777
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: rest of the day.

778
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god, does he hate his own Childredre does

779
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: not like his kids. He's gotta get that's a problem.

780
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 1: That's a problem.

781
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, occasionally he'll do a weekend walk with the kids

782
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 2: or some kind of outdoor activity, but it almost always

783
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 2: means I won't see him for the rest of the

784
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 2: day so he can get his break. Now, my husband

785
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 2: has just been given an amazing job opportunity which will

786
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 2: allow him to work remotely on top of a higher salary.

787
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 2: He even mentioned to me that now he would be

788
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 2: able to help a little more with some of the

789
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 2: extra tasks I've been piling on, like calling contractors for

790
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 2: things he wants built at our house and taking kids

791
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 2: to their evening sports. The problem is that since I

792
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 2: stopped working, he literally doesn't lift a finger to help

793
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 2: me with anything. He acts like because he makes so

794
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 2: much money he shouldn't have to do anything else. He

795
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,240
Speaker 2: barely plays with our kids, leaves piles of dirty clothes

796
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 2: all over the house, leaves his dirty dishes in random places,

797
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,479
Speaker 2: doesn't do laundry, doesn't do dishes, doesn't cook, doesn't meal plan,

798
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 2: get groceries, take the trash out, feed the animals, help

799
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 2: pick up after the kids, help with dinner, bath, teeth,

800
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 2: bed Is this a duchess's book?

801
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 4: Now?

802
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 2: Of all the things he can't do. All the places

803
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 2: that you're not.

804
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 1: Out and out he doesn't have with dinner, bath, teeth, bed,

805
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: Maybe he helps with.

806
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 3: Book oh, and sleep.

807
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 1: He reads a story everyone once in a while.

808
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 2: Unless I specifically tell him I'm not feeling well and

809
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 2: ask him to do one of those things. I feel

810
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 2: like I'm constantly cleaning, cooking, or hearing mommy, mummy, mummy,

811
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 2: while my husband just sits on the couch and plays

812
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 2: on his phone. If I tell him I need help

813
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 2: with the kids, he just.

814
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 1: Yells at them.

815
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 2: Nah, that's I feel like this is over.

816
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 1: Out of all of the stuff, like his inability to

817
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: just be like a father that can interact with his children,

818
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: that is very not sustainable to me. I don't know.

819
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: I can't imagine being with a partner where it's like

820
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 1: if I had my wife just like he didn't like

821
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 1: our kids, I couldn't deal with our kids. I'd be like,

822
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 1: I think I'm leaving, yeah, and then like you can

823
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: just if you can't stand the kids so bad, you

824
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 1: can use that big money job that you have to

825
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: pay alimony. Yeah, and you you know, I'll just take

826
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 1: care of the kids absolutely.

827
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,760
Speaker 2: If he's feeling extra rested, he may get a random

828
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: and play with the kids for five minutes before he

829
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: disappears to the bathroom or our bedroom for the foreseeable future.

830
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 2: Last night, we got into a huge fight because he

831
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 2: asked me to do the benefits enrollment for his new job.

832
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 3: Bro's, now he can't even do his job.

833
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: That's your new job.

834
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,319
Speaker 2: Now he can't even do that.

835
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: Come on, man, he can't do paperwork. What do you do?

836
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 2: I said that he could do that during his working

837
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 2: hour since it's part of his job. I also said

838
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 2: I didn't know how our benefits had changed in the

839
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 2: last year since he had retired from the military, and

840
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,279
Speaker 2: needed to look into that before doing the enrollment for

841
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 2: his new job. He gave me an absolutely disgusted look

842
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 2: and said he couldn't believe I didn't know what benefits

843
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 2: we had.

844
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I'm a little busy taking care of every

845
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:47,399
Speaker 1: single thing.

846
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,840
Speaker 2: I said, I have struggled with getting answers from the

847
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 2: new insurance company, and that it's difficult to do with

848
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 2: my constant to do list, which is one hundred miles long,

849
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 2: and kids being loud in the background. He gave me

850
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 2: the same discuss to look like I was a lazy

851
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 2: pos for even suggesting he find out our benefit situation.

852
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,479
Speaker 2: I told him I don't like how disrespectful he was being,

853
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 2: and then I have one hundred things on my plate

854
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:12,320
Speaker 2: and he has plenty of time to do it himself.

855
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 2: I listed all of the things above that I do daily,

856
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 2: and he made the comment that if I was actually

857
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 2: taking care of the house, it would be a lot

858
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,760
Speaker 2: more organized than it is. Oh, maybe if.

859
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: I had a little bit of help from I don't

860
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: know my husband.

861
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe if you took care of the kids ever

862
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 2: and didn't just yell at them. Yeah wow uh oh

863
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 2: p I just remembered because someone said in the chat

864
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 2: that you are one of our own. So unless he

865
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 2: has a huge change of heart after you guys have

866
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 2: a conversation about this, it is not looking good.

867
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:45,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

868
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe therapy.

869
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, you can try couples counseling. And if

870
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: he's not receptor to it, It's like, dude, I can't

871
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 1: be with somebody who doesn't do anything. Is doesn't want

872
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 1: to help me, is is partner doesn't want me to

873
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: have you know where It's like a, well, this is

874
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: what you deserve because I make all of the money yeah,

875
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: so since you don't make money like I do, you

876
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: deserve to have all of this stress piled up on you.

877
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 1: But like, yeah, dude, if you can't get along with

878
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 1: the kids, I'm not having you in the house with

879
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: the kids.

880
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 2: Our house can get a bit messy. We have three

881
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 2: kids under six, but I'm constantly cleaning and picking up,

882
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 2: and it's honestly a hundred times tight year than most

883
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 2: of our friends' houses with young kids. I don't feel

884
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 2: like our house is bad at all. But he has

885
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 2: some OCD behavior about everything needing to be in its place.

886
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 2: But he won't help at all with making this an

887
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:44,720
Speaker 2: actual reality.

888
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 1: And that's not OCD.

889
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, he will literally just step over toys, clothes, dishes

890
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 2: that our kids have put in random places. He says

891
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 2: the messiness affects his mood and stresses him out. Oh,

892
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 2: then clean it.

893
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 1: I feel like if that was true.

894
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: You would clean it. His comments felt so disrespectful, but

895
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I'm just tired and overreacting. Again,

896
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 2: you're underreacting.

897
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 1: Doesn't feel like you're overreacting.

898
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,479
Speaker 2: I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel like what I'm

899
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: doing is ever enough. I could better for backwards, and

900
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 2: it's still not enough for him. Whenever I try to

901
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 2: discuss how I feel, he locks onto one thing I

902
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 2: say that I've worded incorrectly and hyper focuses on it,

903
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 2: turning it against me, rather than actually listening to how

904
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 2: I'm feeling. Tonight, it was sometimes I feel like you

905
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 2: don't lift a finger around the house, bro man.

906
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: Then he's gonna be like, oh, so I've never done

907
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,280
Speaker 1: anything ever. Ever, I've never done anything ever. You're saying

908
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: that's crazy because I've done things.

909
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 2: Well, he's saying that to Ope. Oh yeah, he's saying,

910
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 2: I feel like you don't lift a finger on that.

911
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 2: Oh wait, no, wait, no, no, you're right. Sorry, Okay,

912
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: that was Ope saying that. And then he responds, I

913
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 2: don't lift a finger, never don't lift a finger. Huh wait,

914
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 2: that is exactly what you just say.

915
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's textbook.

916
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 2: Yeah that was that was that was really obvious.

917
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 1: John here og host, We're going to get back to

918
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 1: these stories. But a quick free minute break from hows

919
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

920
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 2: And completely disregarded everything else I said. Yeah, he then

921
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 2: used it as an opportunity to insult me because I

922
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 2: put sometimes I feel like in front of it. Sometimes

923
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 2: I feel like that I should be more organized since

924
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 2: your home all day.

925
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: I don't know, but that was see how that was

926
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: a discussion we had where it's like, okay, you can

927
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: stay home and focus on the side stuff while I

928
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 1: go to work since I get paid more. Now now

929
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: you want to turn around and turn that into like

930
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 1: a well, you're actually it's a personal failing that you're

931
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 1: home all day, and so because you are personally failing,

932
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: you deserve to have to deal with all this and

933
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have to help you at all.

934
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,760
Speaker 2: He does this every single time. I try to express

935
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 2: how much I need is help and how much I

936
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 2: have on my plate between the NBA program, which is

937
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 2: an accelerated program, running our investment properties, and looking after

938
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 2: the kids and home. Our oldest is in full time school,

939
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 2: but our younger two are only in school for two

940
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 2: to three hours a day, and with drive time, that

941
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 2: leaves me very little time to get things done in peace.

942
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 2: He constantly casually brings up more stuff I should do

943
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: soon as so it don't work. We bought a chicken

944
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 2: coop and he wants me to take care of chickens.

945
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

946
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 2: He wants a livestock guardian puppy, so both of those

947
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 2: will be extra things I have to take care of.

948
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: He wants me to grow a garden, which I would

949
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 2: like as well, but he puts that solely on me,

950
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 2: not something we can do together. He wants me to

951
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 2: take a sourdough baking class when I just learned how

952
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 2: to make regular bread and was super proud of myself,

953
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 2: but he dismissed my accomplishment.

954
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: He's like, if it's not sourdough, it's not bread.

955
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 2: It's not even bread. You don't even know how to

956
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 2: make a sour dough starter. He just has all of

957
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 2: these extra things that he feels I should be doing

958
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,359
Speaker 2: on top of the expectation of a perfect house. There

959
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 2: is a little bit left to this story, But what

960
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 2: are your final thoughts?

961
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 3: Love should not be a scoreboard. Yeah, and the fact

962
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 3: that we have come to the point of we have

963
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 3: to bring up the scoreboard to settle things. He just

964
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 3: shows how far away you got are actually from like

965
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 3: a baseline of a supportive marriage.

966
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's you're in pretty dire straits here.

967
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 1: I think serious, like where do we go from here?

968
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: Type conversations need to be had if he's not going

969
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 1: to make any changes to help you, because you deserve

970
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,919
Speaker 1: no matter what kind of money you're making. You guys

971
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 1: are married and you deserve somebody who's down to help

972
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 1: you with your shared the life. Yeah together, it literally

973
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 1: says in the vows for richer or poorer. So you know,

974
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: you can't just be like, well, you don't work so

975
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:40,479
Speaker 1: I can order you around like a servant. No, no, no,

976
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,720
Speaker 1: that's not how that. Now that works.

977
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 2: But there's a little bit left. The crazy thing is

978
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 2: that he has been alone with the kids for a

979
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 2: week this past summer. He didn't do any laundry, only

980
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 2: got takeout, didn't do any cleaning, and the kids all

981
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 2: went to a full day summer camp, so he still

982
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,720
Speaker 2: had it easy. You can't even cook for his kids.

983
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 2: And yeah, it seems to think I'm not doing enough.

984
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 2: How do I communicate to him that I am not

985
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: his workhorse and that I need to be able to

986
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 2: express that I am overwhelmed without having it blow up

987
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 2: in my face as a huge fight.

988
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 3: Help please, I don't know if you can have a conversation.

989
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 1: It sounds like you've it sounds like you've been trying

990
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: to have this conversation and he just refuses to.

991
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: Shuts you down, and I think if he could, if

992
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,840
Speaker 2: you try to have a conversation and he still shuts

993
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 2: you down, then couples therapy and if that doesn't work,

994
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 2: maybe this relationship isn't you know, gonna work.

995
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly sad, very sad.

996
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story and the

997
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 2: end of this episode. So if you love us, make

998
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 2: sure to subscribe.

999
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: We love you and seeing them all