Speaker 1: Here we got scott Are you ready who.
Speaker 2: I'm ready to laugh. I'm ready to laugh, and I'm
Speaker 2: ready to laugh.
Speaker 1: This may be the most banana story we've done here.
Speaker 2: It is say something oh exciting.
Speaker 1: Get ready, America. Extreme ironing is here.
Speaker 2: We're ready. I'm ready. It's the only thing that can
Speaker 2: possibly bring this country back together, one wrinkle free pair
Speaker 2: of doctors at a time. Let's get into it on
Speaker 2: a very extreme episode of Bananas.
Speaker 1: From all the way around the world.
Speaker 3: If you're stepping to the baby checking the bucks, switch
Speaker 3: about the money that doesn't thank you.
Speaker 4: The baby checking the Bucks got this stretcher, the true.
Speaker 3: Driving Bananas, Baby Banaa driving Me, Banda's baby, Banana's band
Speaker 3: Banana's Baby, Bananas, Banana Bena driving Me, Bandana's baby, Bananas.
Speaker 1: Banana guys, gals, non binary pals. Welcome to Bananas. I'm
Speaker 1: Kurt Brown.
Speaker 2: Older, I am Banana Boy number two. Scottie Landis. Thank
Speaker 2: you for listening to the silliest little podcast thereever was.
Speaker 2: We're gonna try to delight you for at least fifty minutes.
Speaker 1: And just real quick before we bring our guests out.
Speaker 1: January twenty fifth, Folks, if you live in Los Angeles
Speaker 1: at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater, We're doing a live
Speaker 1: Bananas with live accompaniment by many marionettes who will be
Speaker 1: acting out sure our news stories and our personal stories.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be awesome. Tickets are going if they're not
Speaker 1: already sold out already, but go get them right now
Speaker 1: at our You can get them at our website Bananas
Speaker 1: podcast dot com. Youn get them on Instagram at the
Speaker 1: Bananas Podcast, or you can just go to Bob Baker
Speaker 1: Marionette website and buy them right there. Go to be
Speaker 1: a very special show, a once in a lifetime show.
Speaker 2: Scottie, I've never done a show with marionettes before, mean neither.
Speaker 1: Here it is our guest today is a stand up
Speaker 1: an author and a regular storyteller on the Moth. She
Speaker 1: hosted NPR's Ask Me Another for nine years and now
Speaker 1: hosts The Very Funny Parenting is a joke podcast. You
Speaker 1: can hear stand up special, plant based jokes everywhere you
Speaker 1: watch and listen to things. Please welcome, ohf Your Eisenberg
Speaker 1: back to the show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Hello, I gotta tell you have you ever done
Speaker 4: at a puppeteer Because you're mentioning marionettes. Have you ever dated?
Speaker 1: Oh have you?
Speaker 4: I mean I figured one everyone has, but I certainly have. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I certainly have. And uh yeah, there it's a sort
Speaker 4: it's a specific.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of puppeteers never dated one because
Speaker 1: I was like, they are very specific.
Speaker 4: Very specific. It is interesting when you're like, I can't
Speaker 4: tell the story, but this piece of felt can. I mean,
Speaker 4: that's just that's a kind of person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see. That is interesting that they express themselves
Speaker 2: through a miniature thing object animal person. That is a
Speaker 2: weird way to communicate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have. I have found the puppeteers are a
Speaker 1: often very kind people, true and uh filthy, like just filthy,
Speaker 1: And every single one I ever met is a filthy
Speaker 1: person who loves to make puppet to do filthy, filthy things.
Speaker 4: When they described relationship, this describes my relationship.
Speaker 2: Well, I guess did you have to go to more
Speaker 2: than one of this person's performances like that? It's it's
Speaker 2: almost like dating somebody on an improv team when they're like, hey,
Speaker 2: do you want to see the show tonight and you're like,
Speaker 2: oh god no, only.
Speaker 4: Yeah, not only that, we went to like the new
Speaker 4: Joke night of puppet Nights. What really this is? This
Speaker 4: is in Canada, So I don't think they really, I
Speaker 4: don't know. LA might be the place where you could
Speaker 4: find uh, you know, open open puppet night.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I love that there's a was
Speaker 1: this in Calgary.
Speaker 4: No, it was in Montreal, which you know again like
Speaker 4: makes way more right because the French and a little
Speaker 4: bit more comedia de larte and clowning and they have
Speaker 4: a little bit more of a tradition.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the amount that kent French Canadians it don't enjoy
Speaker 1: normal stand up, but do enjoy mimes and puppeteering is wild.
Speaker 1: It is wild.
Speaker 4: Yeah. As soon as you're like, here's something personal that
Speaker 4: happened to me that I've like, I've spun my trauma
Speaker 4: into hilarious bits, They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: this does not go.
Speaker 1: I was trapped in a glass box.
Speaker 5: They're like, he's done again, none of his last box
Speaker 5: genius in Collab in Coab.
Speaker 2: That big said, I love Montreal, what a town what.
Speaker 4: I lived there for four years and it was the
Speaker 4: gift that is the biggest gift I gave myself.
Speaker 1: You went to McGill. Sure did, Sure did, guessed it.
Speaker 1: I lived in the school what they call they what
Speaker 1: they what they strained actually called the student ghetto. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in Montreal. I lived there for like three months, no,
Speaker 1: you know, working yea, yeah, yeah, and it's a lot
Speaker 1: of it is very much. Every single person is a student.
Speaker 4: Every yeah, exactly. And the bars around there serve well,
Speaker 4: I'm sure it's it's a little bit more expensive, but
Speaker 4: it used to be literally one.
Speaker 2: Dollar drafts beautiful, one dollar beautiful, twenty dollars bill. You
Speaker 2: can just get together with the friend and make a night.
Speaker 4: You left your point. Yeah, so happy, so happy. Yeah
Speaker 4: that's good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my god. But right now, I went on your
Speaker 2: website before you came on. I always do a slight
Speaker 2: amount of due diligence. And you're you're doing stand up
Speaker 2: in Aruba. I'm so jealous.
Speaker 4: Sounds like a jet That sounds like a punchline. Oh,
Speaker 4: I usually, Well, this is my tour Turks and Caicos,
Speaker 4: the Maldives and then Aruba. Yeah yeah, so yeah. There's
Speaker 4: a guy Ray Allen who's a comic and he's been
Speaker 4: running a show in Aruba for I think he told
Speaker 4: me twenty years. I've haven't done it for twenty years,
Speaker 4: but I've done it a couple of times before.
Speaker 6: And uh yeah, I mean what's hilarious is who is
Speaker 6: at your show? The it's the people who it's the
Speaker 6: Jet Blue Direct flights. So it's Boston, it's New York,
Speaker 6: it's New Jersey.
Speaker 4: I'm basically playing the same people, but now they're in
Speaker 4: shorts and flip flops in Aruba.
Speaker 1: Oh my god? And is it so? And are you
Speaker 1: are you in a like a hotel? Are you performing
Speaker 1: in a hotel?
Speaker 2: Or where you basically?
Speaker 4: He I mean, this is a this is a it's
Speaker 4: a restaurant that is part of the hotel. But they
Speaker 4: have a back room. I don't know what they were
Speaker 4: using it for before, but it's set up like a club,
Speaker 4: set up with the stage in cabaret seating and they
Speaker 4: have people giving people drinks coming around. It's like set
Speaker 4: up Perfectly's amazing.
Speaker 1: Are you there with your family for a Thanksgiving week?
Speaker 4: Not yet, they're coming, They're coming see you later. I did.
Speaker 4: I did advance them here by about four days because
Speaker 4: uh well, actually the truth is because my husband now
Speaker 4: has a job, so he didn't have a job for
Speaker 4: a while, so it used to be whatever, But now
Speaker 4: he has a job. So I was like, you come,
Speaker 4: you get when you get your time off, you can
Speaker 4: come and bring a child and bring a child with you.
Speaker 4: Until then, I'm FaceTime momming the old FaceTime mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but actually enough you have a How old is
Speaker 1: your kid now? Seven?
Speaker 4: Eight? Nine? He just turned nine.
Speaker 1: Just traveling with a nine year old is a pleasure,
Speaker 1: a pleasure.
Speaker 4: It's it's better.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, easy, no problem conversations. Here, have a book?
Speaker 2: Yeah, book?
Speaker 4: Yeah. He just got a Nintendo Switch for his birthday,
Speaker 4: so I was.
Speaker 1: Old, that's what I okay, So is it exactly? I'm
Speaker 1: thinking nine might be our time for the Nintendo switch?
Speaker 1: Do you credit?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course. And I wanted to push way down
Speaker 4: the road, but that just it didn't seem like At
Speaker 4: a certain point, I was just like, I can't. I
Speaker 4: can't fight this fight. And I'll be honest, this sounds
Speaker 4: like an amazing mom, but don't don't take it that way,
Speaker 4: because I'm I'm just as much of a mess as
Speaker 4: anyone else. But I made him pay for it.
Speaker 1: Oh that's awesome.
Speaker 2: What at present?
Speaker 1: What a great gift we.
Speaker 4: Bought the games. We bought the games. Oh okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: yeah yeah, because that's how they get you, right, it's
Speaker 4: not just a console, and then you got to buy
Speaker 4: all the games and they're not cheap.
Speaker 1: Everybody.
Speaker 2: No, I don't have any idea. How much is a
Speaker 2: video game on a switch? Fifty bucks? One hundred picks?
Speaker 2: Ye oh really?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah. K and I are like two men who don't
Speaker 2: play video games. It's a rare thing these days. I
Speaker 2: have no clue, but they look beautiful when I'm in
Speaker 2: a store, I'm like, look, how beautiful.
Speaker 4: And trust me, you guys. The fact that you're like
Speaker 4: two men that don't play video games. Because I have
Speaker 4: bought the switch, I have said to a stand up
Speaker 4: comic mail or two at a show something something, oh yeah,
Speaker 4: I just got my kid intended switch, and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 4: what games does he have? I'm like, wow, okay, I
Speaker 4: finally found an intersection for us to talk.
Speaker 1: About my nine year old video games.
Speaker 2: I had the weird experience. I've had this about hmm
Speaker 2: maybe five times where I'll get an email from an
Speaker 2: agent and they go, hey, this video game, somebody, some
Speaker 2: studio bought this. Do you want to write the movie
Speaker 2: based on this video game and I've never played it.
Speaker 2: It's the title I've heard of. But then I have
Speaker 2: to watch the entire gameplay on YouTube, like they do
Speaker 2: silent walk throughs, or they do walk throughs with the
Speaker 2: player narrating or whatever, and so I think, like five
Speaker 2: times I've watched an entire video game get beaten by
Speaker 2: a stranger in silence.
Speaker 1: Really no, well that's crazy.
Speaker 2: A gameplay, Yeah, do a ninety minute movie. It's I
Speaker 2: watched the New God of War or Gods of War,
Speaker 2: whatever it is. First off, again, beautiful. I'm like, this
Speaker 2: doesn't need to be a movie. This is already more
Speaker 2: fiatrical and cinematic. Yeah, it's gorgeous. But then you get
Speaker 2: like two hours in and you're like, man, I hope
Speaker 2: this guy wins. I hope this guy finishes this thing
Speaker 2: because I'm so invested now on these characters and their relationships.
Speaker 2: You're pretty impressive.
Speaker 4: So you're crying, You're crying. I can't believe this happening.
Speaker 1: The fact that there's so many now of TV of
Speaker 1: TV show slash movies that were video games and I
Speaker 1: won't even know, Like I watched on the plane, I
Speaker 1: watched Borderlands and I was like, was this a book?
Speaker 1: And it's like, oh, nope, it's a video game. At
Speaker 1: the end, I was like, okay, video game.
Speaker 4: How about this. Someone I know was going to see
Speaker 4: music the other night in New York and I said,
Speaker 4: what are you seeing? And he goes, well, I don't
Speaker 4: know if this is gonna sound to you like something crazy,
Speaker 4: but it's really He goes, I'm gonna watch I'm gonna
Speaker 4: go to this jazz trio, but they just play video
Speaker 4: game songs.
Speaker 2: WHOA, Well, okay, that might be all right. I mean,
Speaker 2: like composers write those songs.
Speaker 1: Again, I know.
Speaker 4: I mean I think some of the music is incredible,
Speaker 4: So I don't know if it's themes or yeah, but
Speaker 4: there you get.
Speaker 2: I mean that would be horns.
Speaker 4: The French horn Guy's like, yes, this is the finally,
Speaker 4: finally people care about me.
Speaker 1: Speaking of this, I was doing a stand up show.
Speaker 1: This is an outdoor stand up show, oh yeah, in
Speaker 1: LA and it just so happened that night Saturday night
Speaker 1: down the block was a car show on one hand,
Speaker 1: and on the other hand it was like some other
Speaker 1: crazy event. So while we're doing stand up, the crowd
Speaker 1: is not overly packed. But these these two events on
Speaker 1: either side of the block are thousands of people and
Speaker 1: the car show guy whoever was the announcer, like, I
Speaker 1: don't even know what the hell was happening, Like there
Speaker 1: was a big competition happening, and he was you could
Speaker 1: just it's a booming voice, and then every minute to
Speaker 1: two minutes he would hit a sound effect of that
Speaker 1: Mario Coin noise.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, I've heard that, And so.
Speaker 1: While you're trying to do stand up, it's just like, no,
Speaker 1: it was the worst situation to do stand up in.
Speaker 4: That's only worst.
Speaker 1: The only worst was when I did Bonaru and Kristin
Speaker 1: and I were doing it and they're all wireless mics
Speaker 1: and Nine Inch Nails was performing next to us and
Speaker 1: their audio started coming through our monitors, like the audio
Speaker 1: got like, I don't know, got up. So we had
Speaker 1: nine inch Nails coming at us in the monitors while
Speaker 1: we're trying to do a full stand up set for
Speaker 1: twenty minutes.
Speaker 4: So I mean the amount of ways that stand up
Speaker 4: I mean, first of all, it's not like stand up
Speaker 4: has to be perfect, perfect scenario, but the amount of
Speaker 4: ways people can screw with stand ups to make the
Speaker 4: impossible because they're always like you could, you could just
Speaker 4: do it like anywhere, right, You're like, well not really,
Speaker 4: and then they're like, well, we're gonna give you every
Speaker 4: single possible challenge to make it impossible. Great, thank you.
Speaker 4: I liked the idea of doing a set to where
Speaker 4: you're just hearing the sound of coins and you're like,
Speaker 4: those are that's just showed, Like what an insult? Those
Speaker 4: are not points I'm.
Speaker 1: Making, especially especially for a show I'm not being paid for.
Speaker 2: Do you remember remember your Loser?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Some sets that I'm like well paid for where I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I don't know, like every minute I think
Speaker 1: I make like a hundred bus and nothing create us.
Speaker 1: That's like a pretty good feeling. And then this was like, nope,
Speaker 1: let's hear about extreme ironing.
Speaker 4: God, this is right up my alley. I have to
Speaker 4: tell you.
Speaker 1: This was sent in by wander Woman.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Wonder You guys can send your stories to us at
Speaker 1: The Bananas Podcast on Gmail, on Instagram, and at Gmail.
Speaker 1: Sure but d m us on the Instagram.
Speaker 2: That's happy to have you. Yeah, we checked that more.
Speaker 1: This isn't The New York Times, Scott, have you heard
Speaker 1: of that?
Speaker 2: I heard of that once. People are very torn. Now
Speaker 2: it's this wordle. Let's be real. Everybody plays wordle and everything.
Speaker 4: Connections.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fun, I've not paid connections, great lady. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: was by pam Bellock.
Speaker 2: Best and you can really type that article.
Speaker 1: It could be b Luck, It could be Pamby Luck,
Speaker 1: but I don't know here.
Speaker 2: Pamby Luck sounds pretty good. Namby Pamby anymore, that's an
Speaker 2: old phrase. I'm bringing back namby Pamby unless I'm gonna
Speaker 2: google it before I bring it back. It could be
Speaker 2: extremely problematic, right, I.
Speaker 1: Know, as soon as you google old terms, you're just like,
Speaker 1: oh no, this.
Speaker 2: Is like namby Pampy's bath.
Speaker 1: Clawing up ice crusted razor sharp mountain peaks can get
Speaker 1: a little boring and dangling upside down from a bungee
Speaker 1: cord over jagged cliffs's face it rather ho hum. But
Speaker 1: now there's a new way to add excitement, a dash
Speaker 1: of danger, the adrenaline rush of risk. Take along an
Speaker 1: ironing board, a sturdy steam iron, and a load of
Speaker 1: wrinkled shirts. It's not for the faint of heart, to
Speaker 1: be sure, but extreme ironing the marriage of activities like
Speaker 1: cliff jumping and kayaking treacherous rapids. Well with what participants
Speaker 1: call quote the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt has
Speaker 1: been catching on.
Speaker 2: I get it. This well push shirt is nice. When
Speaker 2: you see somebody with a real wrinkly, crappy shirt, you're like,
Speaker 2: this person's like sha oh yeah, and.
Speaker 4: You're like, how did you don't look at yourself? You
Speaker 4: don't look at yourself, you don't even try. You're insulting us.
Speaker 4: You're saying we're not worthy of It's.
Speaker 2: Like you just like you're missing a tooth. It's like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to take you eighty percent serious, but you
Speaker 2: have to address what's going on here.
Speaker 4: I once chipped my front tooth that I had to
Speaker 4: do a show. And let me tell you something. Nobody
Speaker 4: thought I was smart.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The sport was born seven years ago when a
Speaker 1: young man named Phil Shaw. I like that there's an inventor,
Speaker 1: Phil Shaw, and I think that there's one person came
Speaker 1: home from his job at a knitwear factory in Leicester, England.
Speaker 1: Is Leicester?
Speaker 2: Said Leicester Lester? Sure, Lester, Yeah, he.
Speaker 1: Nailed it, look at you and found himself face to
Speaker 1: face with a mountain of creased laundry, thinking that he
Speaker 1: would rather be rock climbing, mister Shaw took his ironing
Speaker 1: board out to his garden, attached his iron to a
Speaker 1: long extension court and pressed his pants. After that, he
Speaker 1: and his roommate Paul Cartwright did a quote a spot
Speaker 1: of ironing whilst rock climbing, mister Shaw said, while skiing
Speaker 1: the French Alps, and after scrambling to the tops of
Speaker 1: tall trees in the Black Forest of Germany, now countless
Speaker 1: handkerchiefs and pillowcases. Later, and after stretching to the corners
Speaker 1: of South Africa, Japan, Croatia, and Chile, extreme ironing is
Speaker 1: coming to the United States, hoping to appeal to the
Speaker 1: spin cycle superhero, the wash and ware wonder woman and
Speaker 1: all of us. I mean, this is why for the time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a literation, the ponds, the wordplay. It's like we're
Speaker 4: doing wordle is.
Speaker 1: It's like wordle inside here.
Speaker 2: Very fun.
Speaker 1: This week, mister Shawn, two fellow quote ironists make their
Speaker 1: first state side stop in Massachusetts. They ironed while kayaking
Speaker 1: in the Atlantic Ocean, while climbing in a Rockport rock quarry,
Speaker 1: and in Boston, while hanging off the side of a
Speaker 1: world War two amphibious vehicle known as a duck. But
Speaker 1: we all know the duck bun.
Speaker 2: We know a duck boat.
Speaker 1: Duck what New York Times, Come on.
Speaker 2: Come on there, there's a tragedy every eight to twelve
Speaker 2: years on a duck boat. They're not that great or safe.
Speaker 4: I love that they have to explain that to the
Speaker 4: average New York Times for that, it's like, well, I'm
Speaker 4: only used to sailboats and yachts, so what is this
Speaker 4: duck boat?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Also, I wouldn't call it a World War two amphibious vehicle.
Speaker 1: I'd tell it but a school bus. They cut in
Speaker 1: half and made slightly waterproof on the bottom.
Speaker 2: Very true from.
Speaker 1: A British person's point of view. You've never made it
Speaker 1: unless you've made it in America, explained mister shaw Is.
Speaker 1: He practiced an urban extreme ironing atop an ironing board
Speaker 1: pyramid in front of a Boston landmark Fenwill Hall. Maybe sure.
Speaker 1: There are about fifteen hundred ironists worldwide, mister shaw and
Speaker 1: some teams have corporate sponsors.
Speaker 2: Quote.
Speaker 1: Ariim is to have the level of recognition that it
Speaker 1: becomes an Olympic sport. And if you can have synchronized
Speaker 1: swimming and curling. I think extreme ironing has as much
Speaker 1: to offer. They're really distant on synchronized swimming and curling here. Well, uh,
Speaker 1: it would be the first Olympic sport in which the
Speaker 1: athletes did not use their real names. In order to
Speaker 1: avoid the ridicule of ridicule of our peers, mister Shaw
Speaker 1: and his compadres adopt pseudonyms. He wrote in a how
Speaker 1: to book Extreme Ironing. Mister Shaw is steam. Others are
Speaker 1: cool silk, iron, Mikey, which is the chemical symbol for
Speaker 1: iron fe jeremy irons and iron lung. Now that won
Speaker 1: me over right there, and I was like, men will
Speaker 1: make anything stupid. That first. That was my first takeaway
Speaker 1: from this, And now I kind of really like it
Speaker 1: was that silk on.
Speaker 4: Cool silk, Oh, cool silk. That's right up my alley. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that's that's like, that is a villain. Okay, There's just
Speaker 4: that's one pragmatic thing I cannot follow in the story,
Speaker 4: which is, so are they plugging an iron in around?
Speaker 4: How do you do that?
Speaker 2: Okay, good question.
Speaker 1: It is the actual Okay, So there was an actual
Speaker 1: competition in Germany. We went off to get it and
Speaker 1: it says, the actual ironing does count. Iron Iss, mister
Speaker 1: Shaw wrote in his book, are sometimes so absorbed in
Speaker 1: getting themselves into some sort of awkward or dangerous situation
Speaker 1: with their ironing board that they forget the main reason
Speaker 1: they're there in the first place, to rid their clothing
Speaker 1: of crease and wrinkles. The quality of the pressing counts
Speaker 1: for sixty out of one hundred and twenty points. Style
Speaker 1: counts for forty points. In speed twenty Okay.
Speaker 2: Not that big of a priority. Speed twenty percent or
Speaker 2: twenty points. Nah, take your time wrinkles out.
Speaker 4: You would do it right. I mean, I don't know
Speaker 4: how often you've ironed, but that is not a fast job.
Speaker 4: It's it's you cannot make that fast. If you make
Speaker 4: it fast, it looks worse.
Speaker 2: Okay, here it is joy ironing. Ironing's not a chore.
Speaker 2: I like a good iron that doesn't bother me whatsoever.
Speaker 1: Sometimes the ironess lug electrical generators, oh oh my god.
Speaker 1: But other times they heat their irons on portable gas stoves.
Speaker 1: A German ironist, doctor iron Q, has treated an iron
Speaker 1: with a chemical that heats up when water is applied.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is new lenks This is hilarious too, because
Speaker 4: you know, most of American culture has gone to basically
Speaker 4: existing in pajamas twenty four to seven, right, that is
Speaker 4: the fashion. And if you put an iron too a
Speaker 4: pair of sweatpants, it will literally light on fire. It
Speaker 4: will melt maybe into molten lava and then or light
Speaker 4: on fire because it's basically ninely, it's just all synthetic
Speaker 4: and nylon. Even if they're caught and you're just gonna
Speaker 4: burn it, you can't iron that stuff. But this is different.
Speaker 4: This is linen, this is this is crisp cotton. I imagine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish this is secret. That's my only I
Speaker 2: think this is awesome. I just wish I didn't know
Speaker 2: about it. Like I wish that this is a society
Speaker 2: of people who only did this for each other. I
Speaker 2: wish there's no social media about it. I just wish
Speaker 2: group of weirdos that loved ironing and doing extreme things
Speaker 2: and just did it to entertain each other. Like if
Speaker 2: you came across somebody in Joshua Tree that was slack
Speaker 2: lining and ironing a shirt and they were like, I
Speaker 2: can't tell you what I'm doing, I would be like amazing.
Speaker 4: I can't go for it. And uh, and ironing boards
Speaker 4: are kind of specific, you know that is that's like,
Speaker 4: it's not you can't just manufacture one. I think we've
Speaker 4: all tried. I mean I have I've never.
Speaker 2: Owned a good one, right, I can't. I will say
Speaker 2: that I had a great ironing board, and I've probably
Speaker 2: owned four in my adult life.
Speaker 1: If I ever built a house, I guess I don't
Speaker 1: have to build a house to do it.
Speaker 2: I don't have to.
Speaker 1: In my mind, I was like, but if there's no
Speaker 1: way I could do it in my house, I have
Speaker 1: to build a house from scratch to have a dropped
Speaker 1: out ironing board on the way track I could just
Speaker 1: install on Never that.
Speaker 4: Thing that is was like one of the major weapons
Speaker 4: and all cartoons. That was definitely gonna be used to
Speaker 4: hurt someone or kill someone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Tom and Jerry Goofy took a couple iron the
Speaker 2: head down or up.
Speaker 4: You'd slam them in it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So this is the last thing I'll say on this guys,
Speaker 1: because this is shocking to me. Shirts have been pressed
Speaker 1: from Everest to the Brazilian rainforest on bicycles and scuba dives.
Speaker 1: One of the few American ironists got an iron shaped
Speaker 1: hole in a frozen lake in Wisconsin. Oh that's black
Speaker 1: and decker, quick and easy. Four one oh ironed a
Speaker 1: shirt underwater, but his shirt upon surfacing froze.
Speaker 4: Great, wait till we find out ten percent of global
Speaker 4: warming is due to these ironists. Someone took it on
Speaker 4: Mount Everest. What they do?
Speaker 1: That's the only reason to go to Mount Everest. In
Speaker 1: my opinion, I agree.
Speaker 4: It's the iron I mean the poor people that are
Speaker 4: usually working Everest with these you know, jerk climbers that
Speaker 4: come by and you know when they hire, like a shirt,
Speaker 4: but like the person to be like, all right, carry
Speaker 4: all my stuff. And then you just see someone strolling
Speaker 4: by with an ironing board.
Speaker 1: Strapped to their back. Not light.
Speaker 4: I guess you could sled down, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: Warm your hands on the way up. Maybe that's the
Speaker 2: smartest guy going up.
Speaker 4: And then you've had this these I mean, so okay,
Speaker 4: you have this incredibly pressed stuff and then what you're
Speaker 4: not you're pressing a shirt on top of Everest and
Speaker 4: then what you are you wearing it down like you could.
Speaker 1: That's what that should be the requirement you should have
Speaker 1: to then change into the shirt post ironing it or pants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so funny. You just you come down out
Speaker 2: of a long hike with a nice iron pair.
Speaker 1: Of slacks and fucking tie on button to the top.
Speaker 4: She knows a ton of stuff collar.
Speaker 2: I went up there and hiking shorts and he came
Speaker 2: down in a nice, perfectly iron pair of.
Speaker 4: Slash Okay, you know what that I would be. I
Speaker 4: would applaud that. I would be like it. This is
Speaker 4: a new level. I love it. I love it. Some
Speaker 4: respect finally given to this.
Speaker 2: I looked up Namby Pamby you guys and were fine
Speaker 2: to say it?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 2: From a poem a British poet named Henry Carey in
Speaker 2: seventeen twenty five. The poem was called namby Pamby and
Speaker 2: it is lacking energy, strength, or courage, feeble or timid,
Speaker 2: so you can we can say safely namby.
Speaker 4: PAMs all right, bring people or timid?
Speaker 2: Heard it a long time.
Speaker 4: I think it's actually a.
Speaker 1: Good name for a movie, for a movie, nam Pamby.
Speaker 4: It's and maybe a video game movie. No, maybe it's
Speaker 4: one of these video games.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Speaker 4: What the extreme ironers.
Speaker 2: We don't have them as a sponsor, so I don't
Speaker 2: mind talking about them, but that all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: that brand untuck It became a thing.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you know what I'm.
Speaker 2: Talking about your yeah where it's just like men, you
Speaker 2: know how you want to have an untucked shirt that's
Speaker 2: not too long. And I was like, boy, I have
Speaker 2: never had this problem. Apparently they're crushing it. It's like
Speaker 2: a big company.
Speaker 1: Now, so stupid. It's so funny. It also is it
Speaker 1: reminds me of that I think you should leave sketch
Speaker 1: where they just have like a handle on the front
Speaker 1: of the shirt to pull it out from your stomach.
Speaker 4: But don't you think that is that is all? Isn't
Speaker 4: it not all based on like you, uh, maybe have
Speaker 4: a couple pounds on you that you're not proud of.
Speaker 4: Dad bought untuck it.
Speaker 1: Probably, Yeah, is that the whole bit?
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 1: Yah, it's cool, don't worry. I guess men's I guess
Speaker 1: men's formal wear is very long to like fit into pants,
Speaker 1: I have to tuck it in, I suppose.
Speaker 4: But tuck it in not anymore untucked. It's so great.
Speaker 4: Guys get untuck it, but are like you guess what's
Speaker 4: in right now? Belly shirts into it. Yeah, you can't
Speaker 4: tuck it in because it's goddamn too short, right.
Speaker 2: I know that's right. Men should have to wear belly shirts.
Speaker 2: But nobody wants that either.
Speaker 4: Nobody's asking for that. Not one person is asking for that.
Speaker 1: If I did, I wouldn't stop just like playing my
Speaker 1: belly because.
Speaker 4: I can't tapping it like a bottle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I have like kind of two sides to
Speaker 1: it at this point. I have my dadbot has two sides,
Speaker 1: and it's a nice little My kids like to slap it.
Speaker 1: We've got It's the masculine.
Speaker 2: That's the most masculine thing a man can have is
Speaker 2: his kids slapping his side belly for joy. There's nothing
Speaker 2: more masculine than that you've won. You're an outa. You
Speaker 2: finally got there, the one thing that you and I
Speaker 2: aspire so hard to be. We finally got there. Nothing
Speaker 2: more alpha than claiming you are in alpha. Okay, So
Speaker 2: Julia Peterson sent this in and I just thought you
Speaker 2: two might be the perfect people to discuss this. I
Speaker 2: know Kurt's been on parenting. It's a joke with Yufira.
Speaker 2: Here we go. This was on Reddit. We don't normally
Speaker 2: do this. But this was on the would I be
Speaker 2: the Asshole? Subreddit and it is would I be the asshole?
Speaker 2: Or wibta for spring some kid with my garden hose
Speaker 2: daily after he walks all over our lawn. Love it
Speaker 2: exactly so here it is I a thirty seven year
Speaker 2: old male, live with my wife and son and daughter
Speaker 2: who are nine and eleven, respectively. Never forget. Recently there
Speaker 2: has been a kid who comes to our house after
Speaker 2: playing soccer and either rides his bike or walks over
Speaker 2: our lawn with his cleats on the way home. It
Speaker 2: started out as me giving him stern looks whenever I
Speaker 2: saw him. Then it slowly progressed to me asking him
Speaker 2: just to walk around our ared. The last time I
Speaker 2: asked him to stop, he made a point to stop
Speaker 2: and stomp extra hard and twist his feet in the
Speaker 2: grass to piss me off. Since then, I've just been
Speaker 2: hosing him. The first time I sprayed him with the hose,
Speaker 2: he ran off, but then for some reason he just
Speaker 2: started standing there while I hose him down and he
Speaker 2: seems to enjoy it. It's now progressed into me sitting
Speaker 2: on my lawn chair pointing a hose at him, and
Speaker 2: him just staring at me while I do it. Sometimes
Speaker 2: we even make small talk. I'm not gonna lie, it's smart.
Speaker 2: It started off as a very bitter relationship, but I've
Speaker 2: actually gotten to know the kid quite well. We talked
Speaker 2: for maybe fifteen or twenty minutes every day.
Speaker 4: This is that's a beautiful tale.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, it's so good. I had to read this,
Speaker 2: and it doesn't seem he doesn't seem to be mine
Speaker 2: being hosed down after sweating hard playing soccer. He comes
Speaker 2: by daily and we just shoot the shit while I
Speaker 2: hose him, and he stands there for a bit. Wife
Speaker 2: told me I need to stop. Even after I explain
Speaker 2: to her that I'm making that, she said, I'm making
Speaker 2: us look childish and like idiots. I guess I could
Speaker 2: stop it. Honestly, it's really funny waiting for him to
Speaker 2: come by and I see no harm in it. Would
Speaker 2: I be the asshole?
Speaker 1: Oh? I mean, like, it's so funny that this man
Speaker 1: does not understand children at all to think hosing a
Speaker 1: child down would make them stop coming. That is their faith.
Speaker 1: It's all they want, and the whole world is for
Speaker 1: someone to spray them with a hose Every child.
Speaker 4: And you know how this movie goes, right, So this
Speaker 4: is the thing. Now they're pals. He becomes a sort
Speaker 4: of reluctant father figure, starts giving advice, and then one
Speaker 4: day that kid grows up and then we just see
Speaker 4: the guy with his host, just little drops coming from
Speaker 4: the nozzle because the kid has moved on.
Speaker 1: But then he has a heart attack and the boy
Speaker 1: has now become a aarametic. And then the boy saves
Speaker 1: his life and he says and looks like, I got
Speaker 1: you wet this time.
Speaker 2: Okay, sure could have gone fireman, we went the other way,
Speaker 2: could have easily put out his house at the end,
Speaker 2: but we're going that way. And it's called Namby Pamby,
Speaker 2: And that is so great.
Speaker 4: I love it. I love the I love anything that involves,
Speaker 4: first of all, just there someone with malice, someone with
Speaker 4: a mean spirit. You know, it's like it's like a
Speaker 4: Grinch story right being broken down. But I like the
Speaker 4: idea that the kid just stood there and took it
Speaker 4: and doesn't it doesn't sound like he smiled or anything
Speaker 4: for a quantity of time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that kid, this kid needs adult attention, is
Speaker 2: what I was like. I got out of it and again,
Speaker 2: you two are the parents. But to me, it felt
Speaker 2: like this kid was being a jerk to get attention,
Speaker 2: was just being like a little badass. And then when
Speaker 2: this guy called his bluff. Now he's trying to call
Speaker 2: that guy's bluff like I don't care getting sprayed, But
Speaker 2: deep all he wants is to talk to this guy.
Speaker 2: He just wants up an adult to think he's a
Speaker 2: great kid.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure that that guy wants to talk to
Speaker 4: a kid and he can't admit it. That's why he
Speaker 4: was so focused on this kid, on it and his lawn.
Speaker 1: Just let it go, dude, I am envisioning this entire
Speaker 1: movie right now. It's like, you pitch it as a
Speaker 1: combo of that Tom Hanks movie where he's like a
Speaker 1: curmudgeon and then becomes nice again. Do you know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking? A man called and that that movie based
Speaker 1: on the Raymond Carver short story with Will Ferrell where
Speaker 1: he's selling all of his everything must go, Everything must go.
Speaker 1: So it's a combo of those two. Yes, you get
Speaker 1: a Tom Hanks or you get a Will Ferrell to
Speaker 1: play him. He's having fights with his wife, his life
Speaker 1: is a little empty, he's bitter, and cold. I love it.
Speaker 1: This is a great move.
Speaker 4: All he has the lawn, right, the lawn. He works
Speaker 4: on the lawn and response right.
Speaker 1: And so his because his son died. His son died,
Speaker 1: and now all he has is the lawn. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's how you have to start it.
Speaker 2: Okay, you need to start it.
Speaker 4: Okay, now we're moving into Disney territory. I like it.
Speaker 2: I know they're so real. Oh man, I read a
Speaker 2: Man called Ove and I gotta say I always called
Speaker 2: a man called Auto was the movie, but the book
Speaker 2: was a man called Ove boy. I hated that book.
Speaker 2: It was so recommended to me, and I am the
Speaker 2: opposite of this character. Like I think people might have
Speaker 2: seen themselves in this, like things need to be a
Speaker 2: certain way. But you said it was a dollar seventy
Speaker 2: two and you only gave me six cents back, And
Speaker 2: like I was, like I would murder. My book would
Speaker 2: be called I'm going to Murder OV because I hated
Speaker 2: this guy the book. I hated it. But I did
Speaker 2: not watch the movie because I hated the book so deeply.
Speaker 2: You want me to tease this in a thumbs up?
Speaker 2: So you want a new one? Oez Oh, we did
Speaker 2: this one signing off last time, and you said you
Speaker 2: wanted to hear it again. Emily Fabian sent this in
Speaker 2: thank you, Emily Fabian. This was on brides dot com,
Speaker 2: the three of our favorite website.
Speaker 1: I have you know, I've been told by my wife
Speaker 1: that I have to stop getting brides dot com headlines tattooed. Yeah, boy,
Speaker 1: too many, I have too many?
Speaker 4: Are they all positive though? Are they all really positive?
Speaker 1: I just love brides dot Com. I actually took whatever
Speaker 1: came out that week and I'm done.
Speaker 2: He loves tattoos, and he loves brides dot com, especially
Speaker 2: when they're written by the best journalists in North America,
Speaker 2: possibly the entire universe. Sarah Schreiber. Oh yeah, she's good.
Speaker 2: She's really good at what she does. Here's the headline.
Speaker 2: Bride'smaid finds out that bride had a last minute change
Speaker 2: of groom on her wedding morning.
Speaker 1: Cannot wait too? What good is about? Okay?
Speaker 2: Thombs ups.
Speaker 4: I love that you have an alt, you have an
Speaker 4: understand ain't just ready to roll at any time. That's
Speaker 4: how weddings should be cast. You should be like, you're
Speaker 4: my maid of honor. But just in case, Stacy, you
Speaker 4: might step in a thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thumbs up. A few of these are just our listeners.
Speaker 2: The Bananumals send us people or themselves that they want
Speaker 2: to give a big shout out to. So Zach Duffy
Speaker 2: wants to thumb his partner up with the biggest thumbs
Speaker 2: he has. Emily left her job at an art gallery
Speaker 2: to pursue her own career as an artist and printmaker.
Speaker 2: And she's the best. Her art is wildly popular and
Speaker 2: Zach just loves the daylights out of her. That's nice.
Speaker 2: Thumbs aw, thumbs up, you too, congratulations, Emily. Send us
Speaker 2: your prince if they're online, we'll post it in our stories.
Speaker 2: Callie Clayson, this is I'm just gonna read it how
Speaker 2: it came. Callie Clayson wants to thumb her husband fuck
Speaker 2: face up. That's his nickname for slaying his job as
Speaker 2: a concession su chef at a professional sports stadium that
Speaker 2: I will not be naming which one she has me
Speaker 2: not to, But he's turned the entire kitchen and division around,
Speaker 2: and he is an inspiration who CALLI loves Dearly another
Speaker 2: sweet one. So thumbs up, fuck face.
Speaker 4: Thumb back face love is in the air all round.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's very nice, very positive. Today Patrick Gould is
Speaker 2: thumbing himself way up for finally putting out a music
Speaker 2: video that he can be proud of. Patrick and his
Speaker 2: coworkers and work together, I know, put together to where
Speaker 2: and shoot this video. And if you want to watch
Speaker 2: this video and support musicians, you can check out Patrick's
Speaker 2: channel at Porridge Pants Jones at Pants Jones. I know
Speaker 2: these are all winners and last but not least, and
Speaker 2: this one's a feel good Jordan Reeser, thank you for
Speaker 2: sending this in. Jordan wants to thumb up the Maui
Speaker 2: Humane Society. It's always been difficult on Maori to find
Speaker 2: housing for dogs, but after the fires on August eighth,
Speaker 2: it's been even harder. So here are the two incredible
Speaker 2: things that I didn't know were real that are real.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: One, you can adopt a dog from the Maui Humane
Speaker 2: Society and get it flown to the mainland with a
Speaker 2: program called Wings of Aloha.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: So Alaskan Airlines will fly your dog to the mainland
Speaker 2: from Maui if you see one on their website or
Speaker 2: whatever that you want to adopt.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: And two more likely for me, more likely for this
Speaker 2: old dog. If you can't adopt right now, but you're
Speaker 2: visiting Maui, you can take a dog for a day
Speaker 2: in their Beach Buddy program. So you could just take
Speaker 2: a dog to the beach with you'd spend a day
Speaker 2: in Maui with a great dog.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know that this was my this was
Speaker 1: my business idea. You like it in nineteen ninety nine,
Speaker 1: Rent a dog, Rent a dog where you just you
Speaker 1: call them up, you tell them what time, and then
Speaker 1: someone rings your doorbell and you open the door and
Speaker 1: that only the dog is there. Like the dog came
Speaker 1: off okay, and that's great at the right time. You
Speaker 1: just let them out the front door and then someone
Speaker 1: like gets them. But I love is just as good.
Speaker 4: I mean, I go to the dog biting someone. But anyways,
Speaker 4: that's just how my brain goes.
Speaker 2: Well, because you're smart and you've lived life and you
Speaker 2: know that things go sideways all the time. That being
Speaker 2: said to have a jeep, to have a dog for days,
Speaker 2: that sounds like a great Aruba. I mean, you rent
Speaker 2: a dog, just grab a dog off here, walk a dog.
Speaker 4: There are wild dogs all over the place. So yeah, there's.
Speaker 1: All you need is a little handful of turkey and
Speaker 1: you got yourself a dog.
Speaker 2: I work with you. Is this an adoption service? No? No,
Speaker 2: just attacking the tire of your rental car and you
Speaker 2: put them inside. It's funny. Years ago, I worked with
Speaker 2: like a huge influencer and creator. I think she's really
Speaker 2: big on TikTok, TikTok and Instagram. Her name is Amanda Cerni.
Speaker 2: She worked on a show as an actress and she
Speaker 2: did a very good job and she's a very beautiful woman.
Speaker 2: And on the show she played a bartender. And on
Speaker 2: the first day we were in Hawaii shooting the show,
Speaker 2: and I was like, Hey, you can wear this Hawaiian shirt.
Speaker 2: You can wear this like the resort was called Turtle Bay,
Speaker 2: and I was like, you can do this Turtle Bay
Speaker 2: sort of like polo shirt. Really whatever you're comfortable with.
Speaker 2: And like the wardrobe person's with us and she's like, well,
Speaker 2: I brought like ten bikinis, so I'll just wear bikini
Speaker 2: top if that's okay. And I was like, that's great
Speaker 2: because this is on Comedy Central and it's all boys
Speaker 2: and thank god.
Speaker 4: And you're like trying to be nice. You're like, you
Speaker 4: could wear a shirt She's like, I was just gonna
Speaker 4: like show as much boob as I could. You're like,
Speaker 4: that's what we wanted to say that, but we can't.
Speaker 4: But we can't, so thank you for saying it.
Speaker 2: It's exactly how it went down. And also the stylist
Speaker 2: was a gay man named Jerry, and so he's like,
Speaker 2: I brought these looks for her so she's comfortable. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 2: we wanted to be comfortable because she's gonna be on
Speaker 2: set with mostly male comics for two weeks. And so
Speaker 2: by the end of day three of shooting, like every
Speaker 2: guy on the crew, every comic, every background actor is
Speaker 2: like they're all trying to flirt with her, right, And
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, if you ever need me to step
Speaker 2: in for and just tell the crew like chill out,
Speaker 2: leave her alone, stop talking to her between takes. She's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: that's fine. I was like, do you want me just
Speaker 2: to tell everybody like you're married or you have a boyfriend,
Speaker 2: but just so they'll leave you more alone, And she goes, well,
Speaker 2: I do have a boyfriend, and you don't. You can
Speaker 2: tell people, but I don't really care. And I go, oh,
Speaker 2: that's cool. What's he do, and she goes, well, he
Speaker 2: owns most of a Ruba. I was like, okay. I
Speaker 2: was like, that's the greatest answer you ever could have
Speaker 2: said to me, like owns hotels and casinos, and is
Speaker 2: like the I don't know the richest guy in Aruba,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, congratulations.
Speaker 4: Just you know what I would have shot back, Well,
Speaker 4: they do call it the small, happy, small island, all right, So.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what you want to do, and then go,
Speaker 2: let's roll cameras out.
Speaker 4: Use that, use that, use that, Scotty.
Speaker 2: You're not directing this show. Here we go. Emily Fabian
Speaker 2: sent this in Bride'smaid finds out that the bride had
Speaker 2: a last minute change of groom on wedding morning.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to hear about this.
Speaker 2: Something will go wrong or wry on your wedding day,
Speaker 2: but usually these mishaps are minor blips, an incredit take flavor.
Speaker 2: I know Sarahs gets right to the fucking corn. She's
Speaker 2: been around brides dot com for a lot of weddings
Speaker 2: and a lot of divorces. Blabb blah blah. No, but
Speaker 2: most things, none of your guest notices at one wedding.
Speaker 2: A few years ago, however, a crew of bridesmaids was
Speaker 2: flabbergacid when the bride, a close friend, decided to marry
Speaker 2: an entirely different man than anticipated. One of the attendants
Speaker 2: recounted the disastrous tale online a few months ago. I
Speaker 2: definitely need to tell the story, she wrote on the
Speaker 2: wedding shaming thread block wedding shaming. Okay, maybe this is
Speaker 2: on Reddit or something. The woman started her post by
Speaker 2: setting the scene and explaining that she had met the bride,
Speaker 2: who we will call Sarah and the hum and John
Speaker 2: in college. So Sarah John were high school sweetheart. Excuse me,
Speaker 2: Sarah John were high school sweethearts, and John was two
Speaker 2: years older than them. He was always friends with this
Speaker 2: girlfriend's close knit group of friends, and they were bubbah bah.
Speaker 2: This sult boring, But Sarah and John were always there
Speaker 2: together with this girl's group. They were inseparable. They studied together,
Speaker 2: they child together, they partied together. After college, the group
Speaker 2: parted ways. They started their respective careers, but got together
Speaker 2: for Christmas to reconnect, and Sarah told us she had
Speaker 2: a new job, that she had gotten engaged, and they
Speaker 2: were looking to buy a house. She said John was
Speaker 2: very excited about it, and we need to get ready
Speaker 2: for their wedding, which is coming up in March. There
Speaker 2: you go, so you have three months to prepare. And
Speaker 2: of course we were all going to be bridesmaids, so
Speaker 2: we were also happy as they were going to be
Speaker 2: the first one of our friend group to get married.
Speaker 1: Okay, so there's they're in their twentiesenties and like say,
Speaker 1: just out of college.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, first and the.
Speaker 4: Friend ready just settle down, clearly.
Speaker 2: That's when you know who you are.
Speaker 4: You've made all your mistakes. You're ready just to like,
Speaker 4: you know, I'm done with partying. I'm done with messing around.
Speaker 2: Yeah, stay inside, get comfortable. That's when things started to
Speaker 2: get a little strange. February arrived and the bride'smaids still
Speaker 2: hadn't received a wedding invitation or big the instructions from Sarah.
Speaker 2: The poster reached out as to the maid of honor,
Speaker 2: who noted that the process had been disorganized and that
Speaker 2: the couple decided to skip paper invitations and stick to
Speaker 2: email to save money. Honestly, smart. Yeah, absolutely, just text me,
Speaker 2: tell me when and what you want me to wear.
Speaker 4: Send me a magnet at best, give.
Speaker 2: Me a magnet. I'll be there in my untucket shirt
Speaker 2: and my wrinkled pants. Switch. Then, three weeks before the
Speaker 2: wedding date, the brides maid reached out and was told
Speaker 2: I was reached out to and was told to buy
Speaker 2: a lilac colored dress. Apparently the bride decided to skip
Speaker 2: a bacherette party due to budget constraints as well, so
Speaker 2: all we had to do was show up at the
Speaker 2: communicating time at the wedding, and we all found it
Speaker 2: super weird and I felt sad. This was my first
Speaker 2: wedding as a bridesmaid and it turned out to be
Speaker 2: a very boring experience. But I thought the couple was
Speaker 2: maybe paying for the house and all the wedding expenses,
Speaker 2: so it made sense they wanted to keep it low key.
Speaker 2: When the original poster of the woman they posted this
Speaker 2: showed up ready to go thirty minutes before the church service,
Speaker 2: she got the shock of a lifetime when the maid
Speaker 2: of honor pulled her aside and asked her to help
Speaker 2: introduce the groom to Sarah's friends and family. I was
Speaker 2: confused and asked why John would need to be introduced.
Speaker 2: It's been They've been together for years. And then she
Speaker 2: told me that the groom's name was not John but Michael. Well,
Speaker 2: it gets worse. All the bridesmaids were dressed in different
Speaker 2: in a different color, and they did not well yeah,
Speaker 2: I know, and they did not want me to I don't.
Speaker 1: I think that's where it gets worse. I'll be honest
Speaker 1: with you. The bride'smaid's not being a different in the
Speaker 1: same color.
Speaker 2: I think it's.
Speaker 1: Maybe a minor er point that the groom being jettison
Speaker 1: at the last moment it was in magenta. This not
Speaker 1: a single gingham to be found.
Speaker 2: How do I make this more about me today? Wow?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 2: It turns out nobody dared to explain on the phone,
Speaker 2: and must have most of the bride'smaids learned about the
Speaker 2: change of groom at the wedding. Only Sarah's parents, siblings,
Speaker 2: and the mother the moh knew about it. Okay. The
Speaker 2: bride's maid introduced herself to the new groom, who was
Speaker 2: John's opposite in every way. She said, just ten minutes
Speaker 2: before the ceremony, which marked a very awkward wedding day,
Speaker 2: I had no idea who he was or why he
Speaker 2: was marrying my friend who less than three months ago
Speaker 2: told me she was marrying John. She said all of
Speaker 2: Michael's family was there and they were super happy, and
Speaker 2: all of Sarah's family was there and they were very
Speaker 2: serious and silent. Imagine this, Sarah.
Speaker 4: Wow, I love Sarah so much. I am team Sarah.
Speaker 1: Good for you.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 1: I am team Sarah. And I will put one hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars on the fact that they are no longer mad.
Speaker 2: That's right, that's right since March shorty twenty four.
Speaker 4: I mean nothing. I love the idea of just like, right,
Speaker 4: the little you know, breadcrumbs that were left along the way.
Speaker 4: Do I really want to put this person's name in
Speaker 4: print on an invitation? No? I do not, you know,
Speaker 4: I do not. Do I really want to? Yeah? Exactly,
Speaker 4: it's all it was all happening, and the fact that
Speaker 4: there was clearly the only thing they had was a space.
Speaker 4: It was the only thing they probably put money down, right, Yeah,
Speaker 4: and then she's not gonna stay. She's a budget, she's
Speaker 4: into her budget, doesn't have a lot of money.
Speaker 1: Budget. She's just like, look, I'm not losing money, so
Speaker 1: I would prefer to get married, make a life changing decision.
Speaker 4: I'm going to American and.
Speaker 1: Lose this five thousand dollars deposit I've put down just to.
Speaker 2: Be the first in her friend group. She wanted to
Speaker 2: be number one in the friend group by having the
Speaker 2: strangest She set the bar so low or so sideways,
Speaker 2: maybe just she said it sideways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So
Speaker 2: the poster says, sorry, if you're going ahead, No.
Speaker 4: I think I think most weddings. I'm sort of against
Speaker 4: the whole ridiculousness of a wedding. So if anyone messes
Speaker 4: with it, I'm like, yeah, good for you. Take this
Speaker 4: dumb institutional celebration down. Take it down with you.
Speaker 2: So so much money, so much money. Okay, here's how
Speaker 2: it all came out. So the poster didn't learn the
Speaker 2: full story until after the reception after a few drinks loosened.
Speaker 2: The maid of honors. Sarah had met Michael. That's the
Speaker 2: new girl.
Speaker 1: We get the details. This is oh yeah, correct, Wait,
Speaker 1: I forgot what I was listening to. This is brides
Speaker 1: dot com. You're gonna do a good job.
Speaker 2: Oh it's gonna be soup to nuts at brides dot com.
Speaker 2: Sarah had met Michael at a new office job, and
Speaker 2: they were already together by the time John had proposed
Speaker 2: to Sarah and started paying for the house. Sarah canceled
Speaker 2: their engagement at the end of January, when, wait for it,
Speaker 2: guess she was pregnant.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's right, so maybe the marquee.
Speaker 2: Sarah's parents found out about Michael a month before the wedding,
Speaker 2: and that she was pregnant a week before the wedding.
Speaker 4: Oh Sarah is screwed.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, maybe, Wait, this is what if you're twenty four, just.
Speaker 4: Wait a little bit, just wait, or use a condom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, use condoms. Honestly, get a suck to me. If
Speaker 2: you're young, who cares? Just go get it? Just save yourself.
Speaker 4: All there's enough people.
Speaker 2: There's plenty of people. Everybody already has a doppel Gang
Speaker 2: route there that you don't need to replicate Sarah's parents.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a week before, and that is why there
Speaker 2: was no bachelorette party, as she was feeling sick and
Speaker 2: tired all the time. Oh yes, Sarah did not tell
Speaker 2: anyone that she had kept the dress, the party venue,
Speaker 2: there you go if you're a and everything, as nothing
Speaker 2: was going to change. She made all the color and
Speaker 2: detailed changes to accommodate her mother in law and sister
Speaker 2: in law, who had no idea she was previously engaged,
Speaker 2: but they I know this is so it's sane. But
Speaker 2: she knew that she was pregnant, and so they needed
Speaker 2: to make it a fast wedding before it started to show.
Speaker 2: I mean whatever. This is.
Speaker 1: Also, it's so interesting that it would have been such
Speaker 1: an easy email to send to all the bridesmaids. You
Speaker 1: just feel like your friends quick heads up?
Speaker 2: Remember Sean, what a wild a like?
Speaker 4: Subject line? Plans have changed?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Nice? Something nice? And oh, plans have changed? Oh are we?
Speaker 4: Are we?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: Is part of it going to be outside? Is there
Speaker 4: not going to be a cocktail hour? Oh?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: Who you think is Sarah is not Sarah? Sarah is not. Oh.
Speaker 4: I love that the friend was not involved in any
Speaker 4: of this, didn't know if her friend was. You're not
Speaker 4: you're not friends.
Speaker 1: Let's just be enough friends. You're not frot friends.
Speaker 2: And I think, like Kurt said, you know, in your
Speaker 2: early twenties, I certainly went to a lot of weddings,
Speaker 2: and I was in a few weddings with people I
Speaker 2: have not spoken to and oh, of course years, maybe longer.
Speaker 2: And it is that thing where you're like this is
Speaker 2: a big deal, and you're like absolutely, And then when
Speaker 2: you go back to your hotel and you watch TV,
Speaker 2: you're like, I'm so happy to be back at this
Speaker 2: hotel and not not over there hanging out anymore, and
Speaker 2: that might be the last time I see that person. Yeah,
Speaker 2: turns out it is.
Speaker 4: I got I got married. I mean, I'm still with
Speaker 4: the guy, but I got married for a green card.
Speaker 4: And when we we just went to city Hall and
Speaker 4: I kept it secret. But I decided last minute that
Speaker 4: I was wanted a dress, just like a dress, and
Speaker 4: so I went to Anthropology, which at the time that
Speaker 4: seemed to me like a very like kind of an
Speaker 4: exorbitant purchase for me to get like a sun dress.
Speaker 4: From Anthropology, I found a dress and I took it
Speaker 4: to get you know, pay for it, and the woman
Speaker 4: at the cashier said, this is one of my favorite dresses,
Speaker 4: and I just couldn't help myself. I went, I'm about
Speaker 4: to get married in it in an hour. And you know,
Speaker 4: for some people, the idea of a wedding is like
Speaker 4: something they've dreamed, they really have dreamed about their whole life.
Speaker 4: It's a fairy tale. They cannot like someone being cavalier
Speaker 4: like I was about the entire event, insulted her and
Speaker 4: she just like couldn't even find words, and then finally
Speaker 4: just said, well, I hope it's not your first wedding.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so crazy.
Speaker 4: And I was I was like it is, and she goes, well,
Speaker 4: you're getting a great deal on a wedding dress, but
Speaker 4: she was not happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, what.
Speaker 2: A weird projection onto you.
Speaker 4: I always considered her my mate of honor.
Speaker 2: That's right. Didn't you dress like a boy scout for
Speaker 2: to witness a wedding at a courthouse or something? I
Speaker 2: thought you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we did, did Yeah right, yeah, yeah yeah. Me
Speaker 1: and Nick Perr, dresser for Avertina and Joe's wedding that
Speaker 1: we were all. It was just too It was just
Speaker 1: them and two boy scouts.
Speaker 4: It was great. It's great, on my honor, on my honor.
Speaker 2: So good, just and and Nick and Curtis sitting they're
Speaker 2: not smiling and boy scout costs. Oh, uniforms. It's so good.
Speaker 1: Oh you were like, don't smile. And it is a
Speaker 1: very funny photo.
Speaker 2: I'll just let you know that Mikel and Sarah still
Speaker 2: married and they have five children absolutely love each other.
Speaker 2: Bah bah, John's depressed. Obviously it's Sarah blah blah.
Speaker 1: We all think, yes, so this was like ten years ago,
Speaker 1: Yes it was.
Speaker 2: And she said that she she does see the bride occasionally,
Speaker 2: but they're no longer close friends. Well, there you go.
Speaker 2: Of course.
Speaker 1: Yep, that's amazing, that's amazing. Well, I hope Sarah is happy.
Speaker 2: I hope she is of coarse.
Speaker 4: Sarah took life by its horns. Yeah, and she said,
Speaker 4: we're going to do it my way.
Speaker 1: You know, five children, it's fifty to fifty if she's
Speaker 1: happy or not.
Speaker 2: I'm tired, tired, losted. I mean this wool.
Speaker 4: They really can't use a condom. They really the furthest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she has powerful seed. Okay, I'm so sorry that
Speaker 1: that that that woman's womb is incredible. There we go,
Speaker 1: Thanks you.
Speaker 4: She's got a tough vagina. Can I just tell you
Speaker 4: that last night someone paid me a compliment about my vagina.
Speaker 4: It was a woman, she said, because I said on stage,
Speaker 4: how I have some jokes about having a kid, and
Speaker 4: she said she came up to me and she was like, oh,
Speaker 4: good for you for having a nine year old. She
Speaker 4: goes I'm a pediatric nurse and I was like, oh, thanks,
Speaker 4: And she goes, did you have a cesarean? And I
Speaker 4: go no, and she goes, You've got a good vagina.
Speaker 1: Nice, so nice.
Speaker 4: I think coming from a pediatric nurse, it's like you
Speaker 4: can't get better.
Speaker 2: Right, That's top of the mountain.
Speaker 4: There you go, Me and Sarah, Me and Sarah. That's
Speaker 4: how I relate to this bride.
Speaker 2: I mean, what a nice way. And now you have
Speaker 2: something to say. You're thankful for a couple of days.
Speaker 2: It's good for you.
Speaker 4: Thanks, gratitude, gratitude everybody, oh fear.
Speaker 1: Where can everybody find you?
Speaker 2: Plug?
Speaker 4: You can find me. Please listen to my podcast parenting
Speaker 4: as a joke. You can hear Kurt on it. Maybe
Speaker 4: Kurt we'll come back. Maybe I'll try to convince him
Speaker 4: to stop on by, and you could find that wherever
Speaker 4: you find your podcast. You can follow me at Ophira
Speaker 4: e everywhere except for Instagram, where I am at Opira
Speaker 4: NYC for reasons that now seem problematic, but.
Speaker 2: Anyways, is a great name though. It's one of those
Speaker 2: great names that I googled Ofiara and you were the
Speaker 2: first website to pop up, like before I didn't have
Speaker 2: to search for even your full name, and I was like,
Speaker 2: that's good marketing. See, so now you're just the one
Speaker 2: a fear in all of New York City in my mind.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we just got to get people to spell it
Speaker 4: and pronounce it right and we'll be right on track.
Speaker 1: Hira in the house, it's Oprah. I get that.
Speaker 4: I get that, you get Oprah, I get Oprah, I
Speaker 4: get oh pie Hirah. That's when you just literally say
Speaker 4: every single letter in my name as if they had
Speaker 4: equal value, oh hirah. And then some people just go Ophelia.
Speaker 4: It's like, are you even looking at the letters? Yeah, no,
Speaker 4: you just went with something else. Altogether.
Speaker 2: We're not well for coming back on. It was a
Speaker 2: joy to have you, joy Aruba, I thank you.
Speaker 4: I'll say hi to uh. I'll try to find the
Speaker 4: person that owns most of it.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, he's probably staring at his phone. Banana
Speaker 2: Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 1: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 2: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 1: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2: And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Speaker 2: Georgia Hartstart
Speaker 1: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
Speaker 1: intern