Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
Speaker 2: and speaker.
Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,
Speaker 3: and courtse creator. We are two working parents who love
Speaker 3: our careers and our families.
Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.
Speaker 2: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long.
Speaker 4: Term career goals.
Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 4: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.
Speaker 2: This episode is airing in early October of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: Sarah is going to be interviewing Kate Strickler, who is
Speaker 2: the author of the brand new book I Just Wish
Speaker 2: I Had a Bigger Kitchen, which is essays about comparison
Speaker 2: being content with our own lives. Sarah, maybe you can
Speaker 2: tell us all a little bit about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was really attracted to the concept of this
Speaker 3: book when I saw the title. Kate is a kind
Speaker 3: of a social media personality and a She does a
Speaker 3: lot of cooking videos and she's known as Naptime Kitchen
Speaker 3: is her brand, and she created that while her kids
Speaker 3: were really little, and she talks about struggling with comparison
Speaker 3: and how that has gotten her down in various areas
Speaker 3: of life and how she is still working through that
Speaker 3: and as someone who absolutely can fall prey.
Speaker 5: To these same difficulties at times.
Speaker 3: I just thought it was a fantastic topic for the book,
Speaker 3: and she does a great job talking about it in
Speaker 3: various realms of life, so from like how you look
Speaker 3: to how much money you have to what you're doing.
Speaker 5: For work and all kinds of things.
Speaker 3: And yeah, it's just really interesting to read it because
Speaker 3: it was done so personally. I mean, she talks about
Speaker 3: what she's actually struggling with and what she's still struggling
Speaker 3: with and what has helped, and you feel like you
Speaker 3: really get to know her.
Speaker 2: So yeah, well that's so fascinating that she's a social
Speaker 2: media personality give and that I think social media is
Speaker 2: kind of the source of a lot of people's compare
Speaker 2: and despair. I mean, how does that work out? I mean,
Speaker 2: I know that something you've thought about in the past
Speaker 2: and actually have exited several apps because of.
Speaker 3: She does talk about that, she does not say the
Speaker 3: answer is to get off, maybe because because.
Speaker 4: That's how she makes her living.
Speaker 3: Yes, I mean that's fair, that is absolutely fair. I
Speaker 3: mean she actually does probably talk about that. I'm trying
Speaker 3: to remember if she specifically talks about like not following
Speaker 3: accounts which make you feel bad. I have found that
Speaker 3: to be a fantastic tool the unsubscribe or just to
Speaker 3: quit a platform altogether. I'm going to just also say,
Speaker 3: if you decide that like reading someone's thing or listening
Speaker 3: to them isn't serving you, you can just quietly leave.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be forever. It can be an
Speaker 3: experiment where you see if you miss that person's presence
Speaker 3: in your life, where you're like, huh, I actually feel
Speaker 3: better not seeing that. And also you don't have to
Speaker 3: tell them.
Speaker 4: Also true with the creator.
Speaker 3: I've received a couple of like people flouncing out of
Speaker 3: my website and I'm like, you could just leave, it's fine,
Speaker 3: it's fine.
Speaker 2: Well, and like the apps don't send you a notification
Speaker 2: like so and so has stopped following you. I mean
Speaker 2: that might be interesting in it of itself, but like, no,
Speaker 2: generally they don't know at all, and so yeah, you
Speaker 2: can just quietly put a pause on it, and if
Speaker 2: you find it that you've been missing somebody's wonderful photos
Speaker 2: of children and matching outfits frolicking on the beach.
Speaker 4: You can always follow them again. But if that thought never.
Speaker 2: Crosses your mind once you stop seeing them, then maybe
Speaker 2: that's something to know.
Speaker 3: Yes, for me, it's been the like running accounts. Even
Speaker 3: though I respect these creators so much and there's nothing
Speaker 3: wrong with what they're putting out there, I'm like, I
Speaker 3: don't need this for me and for you, I feel
Speaker 3: like your pain point is exactly what you just said.
Speaker 5: It's the although I think maybe.
Speaker 2: You just find it funny at this point, that's true,
Speaker 2: the white you just find it, Oh, this is my children,
Speaker 2: Like there are certain lines in the sand, and the
Speaker 2: matching outfits is one of them. Which is why I
Speaker 2: will never be like a big family influencer, since I
Speaker 2: think it is a requirement to show all your children
Speaker 2: like lined up in matching outfits in some sort of
Speaker 2: natural scene. I mean your husband would have to be
Speaker 2: in it too. It's almost you'd have to hire a
Speaker 2: photographer because he can't just take it like you have
Speaker 2: to show him too.
Speaker 3: And they have to be like white, like flat out
Speaker 3: no want linen designer outfits. We're not talking Christmas pajamas,
Speaker 3: like you got to like they humor.
Speaker 2: Me on Christmas, Like we all get matching pajamas on Christmas,
Speaker 2: and with some grumbling, everyone will wear the matching pajamas
Speaker 2: on Christmas for like one photo and then somebody's back
Speaker 2: in a hoodie or whatever, and you know you never
Speaker 2: get it again.
Speaker 3: But yeah, well, anyway, this book is really fun and
Speaker 3: she does talk about stuff like that and again how
Speaker 3: you can kind of empower yourself to live your own
Speaker 3: life and enjoy what you do have without being worried
Speaker 3: about keeping up with the Joneses.
Speaker 5: So I hope you enjoy this conversation absolutely.
Speaker 4: Well, let's hear what Kate Strickler us to say.
Speaker 3: Well, I am so excited to be here with Kate Strickler,
Speaker 3: the author of I Just Wish I had a bigger
Speaker 3: kitchen and creator behind Naptime Kitchen.
Speaker 5: Welcome Kate to the show.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much for having me. Happy
Speaker 1: to be here.
Speaker 3: So I loved reading your book, which is all about
Speaker 3: the comparison trap as Laura and I just talked about,
Speaker 3: and I am just wondering, Well, first, I guess give
Speaker 3: our listeners some of them probably know you from the
Speaker 3: various socials that you're on because you are kind of big.
Speaker 3: But just in case they don't give us a little
Speaker 3: hint of your career journey as it's looked so far
Speaker 3: and kind of where you are with everything.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 6: So. My name is Kate Strickler. I am a mom
Speaker 6: of four mary Tonate. We live in Charleston, South Carolina,
Speaker 6: and almost ten years ago, really, which sounds so wild,
Speaker 6: I started Naptime Kitchen, which was never meant to be
Speaker 6: any It was just a place to post recipes I
Speaker 6: was making, and really just a creative outlet in a
Speaker 6: season where I was really lacking in creativity. My son
Speaker 6: was napping twice a day, I was stuck at home
Speaker 6: a lot, and so I just kind of channeled my.
Speaker 1: Energy into cooking.
Speaker 6: And it's funny because at the beginning the recipes were
Speaker 6: like way more elaborate because it was like, hey, I
Speaker 6: have this whole nap time, and I was really leaning
Speaker 6: into the nap time cooking, like you cook while this
Speaker 6: baby's asleep, because you can't cook at five PM when.
Speaker 1: The baby's screaming and attached to you.
Speaker 6: And then over time, so we now have four children
Speaker 6: and it's like overtime as each child joined the recipes.
Speaker 1: Just it was an inverse relationship.
Speaker 6: So it went from like, here's something beautiful homemade to like,
Speaker 6: let me show you what I threw at a crockpot
Speaker 6: with a jar of sauce.
Speaker 3: So and both are useful for different phases of our lives.
Speaker 5: We one hundred percent get it.
Speaker 3: I've got three kids, Laura has five, so we are
Speaker 3: right there with you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that is awesome.
Speaker 3: And so this journey kind of I mean, let's just
Speaker 3: be honest, like, You've had some awesome success in the
Speaker 3: social media space, which is really really cool, and now
Speaker 3: you've written a book. So what has it been like
Speaker 3: for this to become your career.
Speaker 6: Yes, well it really was pretty slow, and so it
Speaker 6: wasn't something that like overnight happened, but just this kind
Speaker 6: of slow realization of like, wow, okay, people are following
Speaker 6: along with this, and then like a year would go
Speaker 6: by and I'd be like, wow, like a lot more
Speaker 6: people are following along with this, and then I like,
Speaker 6: remember when I got paid to do something for the
Speaker 6: first time, and I was like, oh my gosh, because
Speaker 6: before that, like somebody would send me like a bag
Speaker 6: of almonds and I.
Speaker 1: Would be like, this is amazing. I can't believe I
Speaker 1: got a free bag.
Speaker 6: Of almonds as a veil, you know, just so funny.
Speaker 6: And so it took a long time for me to
Speaker 6: kind of come to terms with the fact that it
Speaker 6: was a career, like that this could be something that
Speaker 6: would be a job and be sustainable. And I think
Speaker 6: it helped me when I started to name it as that,
Speaker 6: because then I could start to be like, Okay, this
Speaker 6: is work, Like I need to set aside time for this,
Speaker 6: I need to give a certain amount of energy to this,
Speaker 6: all of those sorts of things. But I don't even
Speaker 6: know if I answered your question fully, but that's kind
Speaker 6: of where just slowly over time, it wasn't this like
Speaker 6: overnight decision. But then probably well when Alberta was born,
Speaker 6: so that would have been, like, you know, I was
Speaker 6: like six years in at this point. That's when it
Speaker 6: really started to be like, Okay, I think this is
Speaker 6: really something that I could build on if I was
Speaker 6: given a little more time to do.
Speaker 3: So that's so cool. And then your husband ended up
Speaker 3: joining in. I think that must have been a pivotal
Speaker 3: moment as well.
Speaker 6: That was really pivotal, and you know, it's funny because
Speaker 6: he works with me, he does his own stuff on
Speaker 6: the side, like he's still a practicing attorney, so he
Speaker 6: can still do law for people. He really has found
Speaker 6: like a niche kind of in my market of doing
Speaker 6: law for other creators, just kind of understands how the
Speaker 6: contracts were, like because able to you know, be helpful
Speaker 6: in that regard for people. But at first it was
Speaker 6: definitely he needed like a clean break, like he couldn't
Speaker 6: just go part time for his firm. It just didn't
Speaker 6: work that way. So for the first few months it
Speaker 6: was like a very clean break of like Nate no
Speaker 6: longer works at this law firm or he was doing
Speaker 6: in house at that not that it matters, but that
Speaker 6: was like a pretty big like Okay, this is like
Speaker 6: our schedule is really different, and Nate is very really
Speaker 6: pretty organized and like wants to understand how the days
Speaker 6: are going to go.
Speaker 1: So he wasn't like, hey, let's just like see.
Speaker 6: He was like, okay, I want to know like when
Speaker 6: you expect to be working, when I should expect to
Speaker 6: be working, Like let's create some sort of schedule. So
Speaker 6: he really spearheaded kind of like what our days would
Speaker 6: look like, which was good for me because I needed that.
Speaker 3: That is super interesting kind of behind the scenes stuff.
Speaker 3: And I love how both of you ended up kind
Speaker 3: of doing what we call on the show sometimes career crafting.
Speaker 3: You know, it's like it's evolved slowly, but you're like, yeah,
Speaker 3: let me lean into this because I'm really good at that,
Speaker 3: and let me develop this niche. And it worked out
Speaker 3: so well well with all the success. I guess what
Speaker 3: I was leading up to is then you write a
Speaker 3: book that's like, and yet I can't stop comparing myself
Speaker 3: to everyone else in all of these realms, and I
Speaker 3: one hundred percent get it. I am like, I one
Speaker 3: hundred percent get it. But I also want you to
Speaker 3: talk about kind of like, well, how did you realize that?
Speaker 3: And how can that be true when you're someone who
Speaker 3: objectively has just done so incredibly well in life.
Speaker 6: I know, you know, I think partly it is just
Speaker 6: like part of the human condition that we just do
Speaker 6: this to ourselves. I always think of that. I'm pretty
Speaker 6: sure it was C. S. Lewis that was like envy
Speaker 6: doesn't want the most, It just wants more than the
Speaker 6: other person, you know, or it was it pride or
Speaker 6: arrogance or whatever. It's like it just wants to be
Speaker 6: above the other people, and our hearts are so bent
Speaker 6: towards that. And online is a space that I really
Speaker 6: love and I love the connection, but unfortunately it gives
Speaker 6: you like a view into way more people's lives than
Speaker 6: you would ever have on a normal basis. So I
Speaker 6: think that there was kind of a perfect, a perfect
Speaker 6: coming together. I don't even want to call it a storm,
Speaker 6: because I feel like a storm's kind of a negative term.
Speaker 6: But I was in a place where I was able
Speaker 6: to kind of share vulnerably if I was having a
Speaker 6: hard time with something, and then because I was online,
Speaker 6: I would receive hundreds of DMS back of people.
Speaker 1: Being like, wow, I feel that way too, Like I can't.
Speaker 1: I didn't.
Speaker 6: One, I can't believe you feel that way, Kate. I
Speaker 6: would have never imagined that you would feel that way.
Speaker 6: And two like, man, thanks for like saying that, because
Speaker 6: I have felt really alone in it or you know,
Speaker 6: whatever it is.
Speaker 1: And so I.
Speaker 6: Started to almost have this like test case where I
Speaker 6: was like, Okay, every time I share something like this,
Speaker 6: there is like a huge response, and every time, like
Speaker 6: much bigger than other things that I would share, you know,
Speaker 6: just this kind of like desire. I think that especially
Speaker 6: as women, we have to just know we're not alone,
Speaker 6: that other people are feeling these things, matched with kind
Speaker 6: of like a guilt. I was feeling of like, gosh,
Speaker 6: I shouldn't be feeling this way, I should just be
Speaker 6: happy and grateful all the time. But I have never
Speaker 6: met a woman who has been that way. You know, like,
Speaker 6: normally there's something that has to intersect in your life
Speaker 6: to make you realize how good you have it, Like
Speaker 6: something bad happens and you're like, gosh, I can't believe
Speaker 6: I took that for granted. But on a daily basis,
Speaker 6: I think that the struggle for contentment and the struggle
Speaker 6: against comparison is just like very living an act.
Speaker 3: I totally can see that, and it's almost like on
Speaker 3: a smaller scale we have that struggle, even if on
Speaker 3: a larger scale like we know, we know, oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: we are so lucky. I'm sitting here in a climate
Speaker 3: controlled environment, like wearing clothes, I don't have to worry
Speaker 3: about where my next meal comes from, like, and yet
Speaker 3: it doesn't stop the fact that when somebody else tells
Speaker 3: you about their kid doing something amazing, you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: maybe mine didn't do that, And I feel a certain way,
Speaker 3: and there's something very human there and something so honest,
Speaker 3: and I love I think what you're getting out with
Speaker 3: the responses, like you hit a nerve and the fact
Speaker 3: that you were willing to share vulnerably because this book
Speaker 3: is pretty is pretty raw in some of these chapters,
Speaker 3: and I love that in a lot of these different areas,
Speaker 3: I think is just really really valuable because I don't
Speaker 3: think there's just that many people putting themselves out there
Speaker 3: like this.
Speaker 1: Thanks.
Speaker 6: It's funny because during the writing process, I think I
Speaker 6: was just so in it that I was doing it.
Speaker 6: Like a month before the book came out. I was like,
Speaker 6: oh my gosh, everyone is about to read this.
Speaker 1: What did I do? And I'm so great. It's like
Speaker 1: you know, but I was like, oh, gosh, okay, here
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 5: We're doing this.
Speaker 1: It's in boxes, it's going to bookstores, all right.
Speaker 3: But seriously, I'm so glad you did. We're going to
Speaker 3: take a quick break and then we're going to start
Speaker 3: delving into some of those specific areas that you talk
Speaker 3: about in your book. All right, we are back, and
Speaker 3: we were just talking about Kate's vulnerability and how she
Speaker 3: really delved into multiple areas where I think many of
Speaker 3: us tend to compare and despair, and she goes into
Speaker 3: detail about like what in this area has been hard
Speaker 3: and then has some solutions of like what has been
Speaker 3: helping And Kate, I love how you you're never like
Speaker 3: and this is the answer You're like and this is
Speaker 3: still a continued process. Yeah, because I guess you know
Speaker 3: this is going to be human nature. It's going to
Speaker 3: be a forever thing. But let's dive into the first place.
Speaker 3: And I'm going to go with the title, So Home,
Speaker 3: I wish I had a bigger kitchen. Earn my case,
Speaker 3: I wish I had a beautifully organized, minimalist home. Go
Speaker 3: tell me about your struggles and some of the things
Speaker 3: you've done to counteract them.
Speaker 6: Yes, so the home chapter really, like the bigger kitchen
Speaker 6: title really was very honest, because so funny. I've been
Speaker 6: on Instagram and so often cooking in like an interior kitchen,
Speaker 6: like I have no great lighting, I don't have a
Speaker 6: big island, I don't have ample storage, and so really
Speaker 6: I would be like, oh.
Speaker 1: I really just wished I had a biker kitchen.
Speaker 6: But I think that the kitchen so much like for
Speaker 6: so many people, just exemplifies this like level of peace
Speaker 6: kind of for you, like you were saying a minimalist tone,
Speaker 6: you like, look at someone who has that home and
Speaker 6: you just think, like, man, their life is so simple,
Speaker 6: they're probably so happy. Everything about their life is probably
Speaker 6: better than mine. You just kind of create this whole
Speaker 6: narrative based off of, like it's so funny to say,
Speaker 6: but based off of like a clear kitchen island that
Speaker 6: I could believe, like this whole narrative for somebody based
Speaker 6: off of that. But I think our homes, I hope not.
Speaker 6: You know, I really try in this chapter not to
Speaker 6: do a disservice to the home, like not to say
Speaker 6: it shouldn't matter, because I think it actually deeply, deeply matters,
Speaker 6: Like it quite literally houses you. You know, it is
Speaker 6: where you see spend probably more time than anywhere else.
Speaker 6: But I think that we really have got to reframe
Speaker 6: what we see our homes as. And so I think
Speaker 6: about even my little girls playing with like a Barbie dollhouse.
Speaker 6: They don't just sit the Barbie in the dollhouse, they
Speaker 6: play with the Barbie in the dollhouse, like they move
Speaker 6: it around, and they move the furniture around and they
Speaker 6: make it whatever they need it to be for what
Speaker 6: their barbies are doing. And I think sometimes we think
Speaker 6: of our homes as like something that we're just gonna
Speaker 6: sit in and not touch and have be beautiful all
Speaker 6: the time. But really it's such a working mechanism in
Speaker 6: our house. Like everything, it's like it needs to be moving.
Speaker 6: I think furniture, there are seasons where your furniture should move,
Speaker 6: you know, like you're gonna do something with You're gonna
Speaker 6: have a playroom for a while, and then eventually you're
Speaker 6: gonna be like, you know what, our kids don't need
Speaker 6: a playroom anymore. How could we use this space differently?
Speaker 6: Or your basement was used for something and now you're like,
Speaker 6: you know what, the kids are older, we could really
Speaker 6: use like a pool table down here. How do we
Speaker 6: change this space for our season of life? And so
Speaker 6: seeing your home that way is like, how is this
Speaker 6: a tool that serves our family versus this like Christine
Speaker 6: building that we just try and like maneuver our lives around.
Speaker 5: Like a symbol or something like yes, yes, agreed as.
Speaker 1: A human yes exactly.
Speaker 3: I also feel like when we see examples of others' homes,
Speaker 3: we're either seeing them curated spaces on social media, or
Speaker 3: even when you're invited to someone's house, unless it's like
Speaker 3: your best friend, you're probably getting the best possible version
Speaker 3: of their house.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that probably doesn't help.
Speaker 4: I'm guessing no.
Speaker 6: And it's funny because in my real life when I
Speaker 6: walk into my friends' houses, I see the whole picture.
Speaker 6: You see, even if they're like countertop is clean, they
Speaker 6: have a corner.
Speaker 1: Everybody's got a corner.
Speaker 6: Everybody has a place they're trying to like shove the
Speaker 6: mail and that thing they need to return, and that
Speaker 6: tupperware they got to get to somebody, and the short
Speaker 6: that didn't fit that they got to get back to
Speaker 6: the store. Like everybody has that somewhere. I think you
Speaker 6: see it so much more in real life, and so
Speaker 6: we have to like fight online remember that those corners
Speaker 6: exist in the same way, we just might.
Speaker 1: Not see them.
Speaker 3: So your advice would be to think of your home
Speaker 3: in terms of its utility and in terms of the
Speaker 3: living that you're doing in it and its function, and
Speaker 3: then also pay attention to when you can get a
Speaker 3: taste of what other people's real environments look like.
Speaker 6: Yes, I would definitely pay attention when you go to
Speaker 6: other people's homes.
Speaker 1: And just see like and see the different way.
Speaker 6: Like I would be very open minded, like how do
Speaker 6: they deal with shoes by the door? What systems do
Speaker 6: they have in place? But I think there is a
Speaker 6: place for utility and like beauty to meet. But I
Speaker 6: think very often we sacrifice utility for beauty and then
Speaker 6: we get super frustrated at ourselves or at the people
Speaker 6: that live in our home that are like, listen, I'm sorry,
Speaker 6: I just got to put my shoes somewhere. And so
Speaker 6: I know you want this beautiful table by the front
Speaker 6: door that has like a few pictures on it, but
Speaker 6: like we might really need some shoe bins, you know,
Speaker 6: like whatever it is that, we've got to find a
Speaker 6: way for those things to marry or else you'll drive
Speaker 6: yourself crazy.
Speaker 5: Totally, all right.
Speaker 3: The next area we're going to talk about is the
Speaker 3: I just Wish I was a better mom chapter. We
Speaker 3: have definitely talked on this podcast about mom guilt and
Speaker 3: the phenomenon how there's not a lot of dad guilt
Speaker 3: or parenting guilt, and yet it's just so innate. Actually,
Speaker 3: of the two hosts of the show, Laura is much
Speaker 3: better at not succumbing to mom guilt, I think compared
Speaker 3: to me, and even when I logically know it doesn't
Speaker 3: belong there, like my kids' lives are awesome objectively, I
Speaker 3: just sometimes have it anyway. Yeah, And I think you
Speaker 3: do too, despite having like four kids and so much
Speaker 3: time that you spend with them. So where does this
Speaker 3: come from, do you think? And how can we best
Speaker 3: fight it?
Speaker 6: I think a lot of the times that it comes
Speaker 6: from like a good place. It comes from a desire
Speaker 6: to be there for our children. But I think that
Speaker 6: as humans, like we just have limits and so we
Speaker 6: cannot Like it's you can't have a home that is
Speaker 6: perfectly clean and a meal that is made and snuggle
Speaker 6: your child during their nap time because during nap time
Speaker 6: was when you were either going to clean or you
Speaker 6: were going to prep dinner.
Speaker 1: Like you can't do it all.
Speaker 6: And so that's where I think that we can get
Speaker 6: really down on ourselves. But it's normally something that I've
Speaker 6: been thinking a lot about this year. It's been coming
Speaker 6: up a lot. Is like accepting capacity. And I think
Speaker 6: when we can accept capacity. It really can help alleviate
Speaker 6: some of that guilt because it's not you should be
Speaker 6: doing it all, but it's like, you know what you can't, like,
Speaker 6: where can your capacity go today? So that is something
Speaker 6: I've been thinking about a lot. And then specifically with
Speaker 6: my kids, I've really been trying to show them that
Speaker 6: I enjoy my job and that I enjoy them, and
Speaker 6: that in doing two things, sometimes you just have to
Speaker 6: make a choice. Like sometimes you want two desserts on
Speaker 6: the dessert menu and you pick one of the two.
Speaker 6: And I feel very lucky that I do enjoy my
Speaker 6: job like ninety nine percent of the time. But I
Speaker 6: want my kids to see a mom who made sacrifices
Speaker 6: to be with them but also made sacrifices for our
Speaker 6: family in terms of work. That like, that was that
Speaker 6: that's something I'm doing also for our family, and it's not.
Speaker 1: Like this awful thing like that they could have a
Speaker 1: job they.
Speaker 6: Love and a family they love, and they if they do,
Speaker 6: they won't be at everything always, but that's okay. That
Speaker 6: that's like a very natural and kind of good consequence,
Speaker 6: Like you're just you can't be in two places, and
Speaker 6: that's okay.
Speaker 3: I love that and even playing the thought experiment that
Speaker 3: you didn't have a job just because you have four kids.
Speaker 3: Remember that you can always be in two places, like
Speaker 3: you might have to miss kid A's game because.
Speaker 5: You're at kid Be's games.
Speaker 3: So yeah, the capacity be question applies no matter where
Speaker 3: you are in life. Although on the show, of course,
Speaker 3: we love that you are making work in life fit
Speaker 3: together in that way and that you're really enjoying both.
Speaker 6: So I love that, And I think when you frame
Speaker 6: it as teaching your kids about capacity, it's like, you know,
Speaker 6: whenever you tell your you're so much more kind to
Speaker 6: somebody other than yourself. And so I think if you're
Speaker 6: teaching your child like, hey, I get it, like you
Speaker 6: want to do two things and you just can't, Like
Speaker 6: how healthy to model that to them, versus like I
Speaker 6: can do it all all the time, Like that's a
Speaker 6: pretty hard standard to have and to So I think
Speaker 6: it's healthy for them to see your humanity, your limits,
Speaker 6: like those kinds of things. So I think you're teaching
Speaker 6: something really valuable when you show them that the choices.
Speaker 5: Yes, I love that.
Speaker 3: All right, we're going to take another quick break and
Speaker 3: then we're going to get to the category of friends
Speaker 3: and fomo. All right, we are back and we are
Speaker 3: going through some of the vulnerable categories that Kate shared
Speaker 3: about in her book I just wish I had a
Speaker 3: bigger kitchen in terms of comparison, and one of the
Speaker 3: chapters that I really liked was about friends or just
Speaker 3: feeling like I wish I had better friends or I
Speaker 3: was in a more cohesive group, and definitely appreciated some
Speaker 3: of the examples you used about, like you thought you
Speaker 3: were good and then you saw somebody else on their girls'
Speaker 3: chep and were like, oh, I wasn't invited to that,
Speaker 3: And yeah, I guess would you say that this is
Speaker 3: a category that's harder today with social media out there.
Speaker 6: I think so much harder, And unfortunately, I don't think
Speaker 6: the majority of people are trying to be hurtful in
Speaker 6: any way. They're just sharing something fun. And you just
Speaker 6: noticed that there was a group together, especially if you
Speaker 6: don't know the backstory of.
Speaker 1: Like maybe they just both showed up to the beat.
Speaker 6: Maybe they just decided that they were both going to
Speaker 6: go to the beach and then they happened to be
Speaker 6: there at the same time. But you think, oh, they
Speaker 6: planned it, they planned it and they thought to themselves,
Speaker 6: let's not invite Kate, you know, like or even I,
Speaker 6: you know, especially now, like we have lots of friends
Speaker 6: that are turning forty and doing fun things for forty.
Speaker 6: It's and it's like you just can't have a two
Speaker 6: hundred person party. And really, if you want to go
Speaker 6: out to dinner, it's really hard to make a reservation
Speaker 6: for more than like ten people. And so there are
Speaker 6: there are like limiting circumstances that are going to leave
Speaker 6: people out that I just don't think are ill intentioned.
Speaker 1: It's just kind of like unfortunate. That's just how life is.
Speaker 1: But a lot of the times, if you see.
Speaker 6: It on social media, you don't have any of the
Speaker 6: backstory there, and then you just you might not have
Speaker 6: ever known it was going to happen, but now you know.
Speaker 1: It did happen, and you see who's together.
Speaker 6: And so I think that this is an area that
Speaker 6: unfortunately is a real unfortunate negative of social media. And
Speaker 6: I don't know, I don't know a good I don't
Speaker 6: know a way around it. I don't know how to
Speaker 6: make it better. But I feel very sensitive to it,
Speaker 6: especially probably because of my following and because I know
Speaker 6: I have lots of friends that follow me. I feel
Speaker 6: so sensitive to like what if I have girls over
Speaker 6: and a picture is posted and somebody else sees it
Speaker 6: and they just feel like they weren't.
Speaker 1: Included and I don't even know who they are.
Speaker 6: In my head right now, I'm like, who would it
Speaker 6: be that I forgot to include? But so it would
Speaker 6: have never been ill intention towards that person. It would
Speaker 6: have just been probably an oversight. But I get very,
Speaker 6: very fearful of just people feeling left.
Speaker 3: Out totally, And so what would you say is the
Speaker 3: best way to get over this?
Speaker 1: One?
Speaker 3: Just more like remember to if there's someone who I
Speaker 3: hang out with, like make that happen that you have
Speaker 3: agency to invite that persons.
Speaker 1: One. I think agency is huge.
Speaker 6: I think like if you're really wanting to like have
Speaker 6: a fun dinner out and you're like wallow in.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, send a text, get a date on
Speaker 1: the calendar.
Speaker 6: With some friends, and like be the instigator in that situation,
Speaker 6: and then I you know, it's funny that sounds because
Speaker 6: I actually talk about this in the husband chapter, but
Speaker 6: I would really fight to give people the benefit of
Speaker 6: the doubt that it was probably not something deeply against you.
Speaker 6: It could have so easily been a capacity thing and
Speaker 6: oversight or something that wasn't even planned to begin with
Speaker 6: that just happened, you know, like very spontaneously, and you
Speaker 6: just happen to not be there. And then I think, like,
Speaker 6: at the end of the day, it's just you.
Speaker 1: You have to kind of be okay in who you are.
Speaker 6: And I think that friendship especially can feel so tender
Speaker 6: and so scary because you're wondering.
Speaker 1: Am I not liked? Like was I not included?
Speaker 6: And I would say if it's something that is like
Speaker 6: a pattern or something that you're feeling hurt by, I
Speaker 6: would We're at the age where I'm like, we got
Speaker 6: to have these conversations, Like if there's somebody that you're
Speaker 6: consistently feeling hurt by, I'm like, man, you should probably
Speaker 6: have a conversation with them. Like we just got to
Speaker 6: at our age either, you know, you got to push
Speaker 6: through it and have the kind of conversations. And I
Speaker 6: think I would say that a lot of my closest
Speaker 6: friends are people that I have had hard conversations with
Speaker 6: over the years, And I think sometimes we believe friendship is.
Speaker 1: Just easy all the time, but I.
Speaker 6: Think friendship is a lot like marriage, Like you're going
Speaker 6: to say something that hurts someone, there's going to be
Speaker 6: something that's miscommunicated, and so as much as you can,
Speaker 6: like I think it is, if someone were to come
Speaker 6: to me and want to talk to me about something,
Speaker 6: I would see that as like, Wow, they really value me.
Speaker 6: They didn't just decide like let's just cut her out,
Speaker 6: like I'm just not even going to mess with it anymore.
Speaker 6: It's like, no, I want to work through this. And
Speaker 6: so I guess I would say if you're in like
Speaker 6: a season of repetitive hurt feelings or fomo feelings.
Speaker 1: Like I would one make your own magic.
Speaker 6: Out there, but two like, if it's a specific thing, gosh,
Speaker 6: life is too short, like I would really I would
Speaker 6: encourage you to conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean I think we don't see those messy parts
Speaker 3: of friendship on social media with the gaping, So you
Speaker 3: just need to go a layer deeper, and I think
Speaker 3: your friendships are probably going to benefit as a result anyway,
Speaker 3: or you'll find out it's time to move on and
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 5: Yeah, as you.
Speaker 3: Said, life is short, all right. Next section, Kate I
Speaker 3: didn't know what you look like. I'll be honest, I
Speaker 3: actually don't look at any social media. So I'm reading
Speaker 3: this chapter.
Speaker 4: You were objectively beautiful.
Speaker 3: I mean, you talk about looks and body image and
Speaker 3: all that stuff, and you do admit that, like, you
Speaker 3: get it that sometimes coming from certain people with certain
Speaker 3: body types talking about body image can come off certain ways,
Speaker 3: and I like that you were sensitive to that. But
Speaker 3: I also get it, man, you have to also live
Speaker 3: in a world where you are presenting yourself physically every
Speaker 3: day and where a lot of people are using a
Speaker 3: lot of filters and surgery and god knows what, and
Speaker 3: we're expected to look their until we're seventy. So this
Speaker 3: is an area that's really really tough, and I think
Speaker 3: especially so when you're comparing yourself to face as you
Speaker 3: see online.
Speaker 5: Tell me about how you've handled that.
Speaker 6: Yes, well, I give some like practicals in the book
Speaker 6: of just things that I've noticed over the years that
Speaker 6: are really helpful for me. And so it's funny because
Speaker 6: I am like, I just try not to look at
Speaker 6: mirrors all the time, which is so funny, but I
Speaker 6: really do think that, like every time you look in
Speaker 6: a mirror, you're just reminded of what you look like.
Speaker 6: And so if I don't look in the mirror all
Speaker 6: the time, I'm just like not as like super aware
Speaker 6: of what I look like all the time, which for
Speaker 6: me is just kind of helpful. But it's funny because
Speaker 6: I being on social media, I'll go some days where
Speaker 6: I like don't get on stories, but then other days
Speaker 6: I'm like, oh my gosh, I looked at myself like
Speaker 6: thirty times in my phone because I was on Instagram.
Speaker 6: So I think that I do have like a sensitive
Speaker 6: place for people that are showing their faces online a lot,
Speaker 6: because I do think that you're just you're like, oh
Speaker 6: my teeth look more yellow, or am I I'm there?
Speaker 6: I think I should get into aligne like whatever it is,
Speaker 6: or I wish I had longer eyelashes, like whatever.
Speaker 1: The thing is.
Speaker 6: But I think this is an area specifically where if
Speaker 6: you can kind of like learn things that trigger you,
Speaker 6: it can be really helpful. So for me, again, like
Speaker 6: I just was like I don't need to like look
Speaker 6: at my full body in a mirror all the time,
Speaker 6: which is very very popular on social media. It's kind
Speaker 6: of like everybody has mirrors, like big mirrors like in
Speaker 6: your We did not grow up where you had big
Speaker 6: mirrors around everywhere. But I feel like it's like an
Speaker 6: art statement piece.
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, it's thirteen year old, I must have a
Speaker 3: full length mirror that I can pose in front of.
Speaker 3: But you're right, I wonder, like that's not actually natural.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 6: I remember going to my mom's room like to look
Speaker 6: at like if I had something, I would go to
Speaker 6: her bathroom because she had a full length mirror. But
Speaker 6: it was like not this big part of Now they're
Speaker 6: like beautiful, like thousand dollars or Nate mirrors that you're
Speaker 6: putting in your house is like a piece.
Speaker 1: Of art almost.
Speaker 6: So I don't know that was a little bit of
Speaker 6: a tangent, but I think learning what it is that
Speaker 6: like is triggering to you, and what is the belief
Speaker 6: that you're kind of struggling with is really valuable and
Speaker 6: getting a little deeper kind of like in the friendship part.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, guys, I'm telling you you have to go
Speaker 6: deeper in some of these, but like kind of digging up,
Speaker 6: like what am I believing about myself? What am I
Speaker 6: believing is true about beauty?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: What's the rub here?
Speaker 6: And then there's this quote that I read recently nine
Speaker 6: I per sent. Sure it was by Laura Whiffler, but
Speaker 6: she was just saying, whenever you start to feel this way,
Speaker 6: you should just go out into the world.
Speaker 1: And it's so funny, but it is.
Speaker 6: When you go out, like I'm just talking, like, go
Speaker 6: to the grocery store, go to like your local park,
Speaker 6: and you're just you're kind of brought back to like, Wow,
Speaker 6: there are so many types of people, with so many
Speaker 6: different hair colors and skin colors and body types. And
Speaker 6: actually ninety percent of people are not a size too
Speaker 6: blonde with flawless skin that you're believing is true, you know,
Speaker 6: like you're believing that that's what everyone is and that's
Speaker 6: why I am not enough. But when you go out
Speaker 6: into the world, it's like, actually, that is so inaccurate.
Speaker 6: It's so inaccurate. So I think she in the last
Speaker 6: six months has posted that. It's just something I've thought
Speaker 6: was like such a rich wisdom of like it's so doable,
Speaker 6: like a grocery store.
Speaker 4: No, it's a render.
Speaker 3: There's like not one way to look and there's so
Speaker 3: many ways to look good too. It's so many different
Speaker 3: ways to look good that may not be what immediately
Speaker 3: comes to mind, so.
Speaker 6: And I the sorry to cut you off. The final
Speaker 6: thing I will say is when I think about the
Speaker 6: people that I care about the most and have just
Speaker 6: loved the most fondly, what they look like is not
Speaker 6: in the top fifty things that I think about them.
Speaker 1: It's so interesting. And when I think about like how.
Speaker 6: They make me feel things that they've done for me,
Speaker 6: like nothing is ever attached to their body that makes sense.
Speaker 6: That's a really good reset for me of just like
Speaker 6: it is so not what is most important.
Speaker 3: Love that We're going to do one more category because
Speaker 3: we cannot leave comparison without a classic discussion of keeping
Speaker 3: up with the Joneses. And you have a great chapter
Speaker 3: in there about money, which I think is so interesting
Speaker 3: to think about, Tangent. I'm reading Die with Zero right now,
Speaker 3: So just like lots of money stuff on my mind,
Speaker 3: and how people use money and how defying conventions about
Speaker 3: how one might choose to use money. But the truth
Speaker 3: is money is a tool and beyond enough, everything else
Speaker 3: is like relative whether you think you're doing awesome or
Speaker 3: whether you think you are just feeling destitute, has so
Speaker 3: much more to do with like who's next to you
Speaker 3: than it does with any actual reality. And yet again,
Speaker 3: social media but also sometimes real life can give us
Speaker 3: all kinds of signals. So I am super interested, like
Speaker 3: what are I don't know, what are some of the
Speaker 3: ways you come across this and how do you get
Speaker 3: over that? And how do you teach to your kids?
Speaker 3: Because I'm going to be honest. One struggle I have
Speaker 3: right now is that a couple of my kids go
Speaker 3: to a school where, I mean, our family does very nicely,
Speaker 3: but we are in the lower half of the income
Speaker 3: spectrum at said school. So the perspective is very skewed,
Speaker 3: and I would like to make sure that that does
Speaker 3: not become a very faulty view of the world. That
Speaker 3: it's like normal to have, you know, fifteen sports cards
Speaker 3: or something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I think that is so true. Our kids
Speaker 1: are still pretty young.
Speaker 6: Like the only brand that they I think can recognize
Speaker 6: at this point is Nike. Is like they notice if
Speaker 6: people have Nikes at school and they go to a
Speaker 6: public school, And I just think that has been helpful.
Speaker 6: It has like the most loose, pointless uniform. It's like
Speaker 6: wear a blue or pink shirt, like it doesn't that's
Speaker 6: not correct. But it's like it just doesn't even really
Speaker 6: make sense. Their their uniform policy, but I think that
Speaker 6: it allows for like a ton of different But even
Speaker 6: at my school I was growing up, we had a uniform.
Speaker 6: But I'll tell you what, you better have been wearing
Speaker 6: cool shoes. It's like we fit, we find a way
Speaker 6: to like make our give.
Speaker 1: Ourselves some sort of standard that we must reach.
Speaker 6: It's like we were head to toe identical, but who
Speaker 6: had cool shoes? Like it's so funny that we do that.
Speaker 6: And I was before social media too, so you know,
Speaker 6: like even at a young age at my high school,
Speaker 6: I cared that I was wearing the cool shoes. And
Speaker 6: so I think that with our you know, as much
Speaker 6: as we can just help them to see what's important.
Speaker 6: And I think it's I think it's a coming of
Speaker 6: age thing that they're just looking for where they fit
Speaker 6: in and so and money, like you said, it's a
Speaker 6: tool to purchase things that help them feel like they're
Speaker 6: fitting in at the end of the day. And so
Speaker 6: it's probably more like an identity thing for them of
Speaker 6: like helping them see like where does their worth come from?
Speaker 6: How do you feel about them? And maybe even the
Speaker 6: exercise I was saying of like, hey, who are your friends?
Speaker 1: Are you friends with.
Speaker 6: Them because they wear Nike shoes? Or are you friends
Speaker 6: with them because of how they treat you? You know,
Speaker 6: like very simple concepts that I think are probably tangible for.
Speaker 1: A kid, but in adults.
Speaker 6: Golly, this chapter was It was pretty hard to write
Speaker 6: because I really wanted to be sensitive to just there
Speaker 6: are people that I think are like I mean, right now,
Speaker 6: groceries are expensive. Everything feels expensive, and so I did
Speaker 6: not want to discount any of those things at all,
Speaker 6: But I did really want to speak to the person
Speaker 6: that is just constantly feeling like if I just had
Speaker 6: a little more money, I would be happy if I
Speaker 6: could buy that whatever that thing is, Like you were saying,
Speaker 6: like keep up with the Joneses, And if I could
Speaker 6: just keep up with the Joneses, then I would be happy.
Speaker 6: And I think our environment is huge, like the same
Speaker 6: way for your kids in school. The environment that you're
Speaker 6: in can really lead you to feel whether you have
Speaker 6: enough or if you're lacking, Like whether you feel like
Speaker 6: you're in the upper tier of the houses in your
Speaker 6: neighborhood or the lower tier of the houses in your neighborhood.
Speaker 6: And how that can skew what enough is for you.
Speaker 6: And so we talk a lot and I stole this
Speaker 6: from Morgan Household. He talks about like the goalposts and
Speaker 6: always moving the goal posts.
Speaker 1: To just have a little bit more.
Speaker 6: But I think there's probably like a really honest conversation
Speaker 6: that you have to have of like what is enough
Speaker 6: for us? What is enough for our family? How do
Speaker 6: we feel and what is it that we're just wanting
Speaker 6: because we feel like we need to keep up in
Speaker 6: some way or another.
Speaker 5: Totally.
Speaker 3: One thing I was thinking about is like, put yourself
Speaker 3: in your shoes when you were twenty and think about
Speaker 3: what you have today and be like, wouldn't your twenty
Speaker 3: year old self have been like wow, yeah, probably in
Speaker 3: most cases, right, And then it's like, okay, well, then
Speaker 3: maybe that bracelet I.
Speaker 5: Wanted really wouldn't be that big a deal because look.
Speaker 3: At what I already have. I don't know, It's just
Speaker 3: one thing I was thinking about.
Speaker 6: I remember going to Target and being like very mich budgeted,
Speaker 6: like walking and being like, oh, if only I could
Speaker 6: get that new like fall pillow, you know, yes, and
Speaker 6: now like I could, I would if I wanted a
Speaker 6: fall pillow which is so funny because now I don't
Speaker 6: want the fall pillow, but if I did, like it,
Speaker 6: would You're right, it would be like I would be like, yeah,
Speaker 6: I could get the fall pillow, like just the luxury
Speaker 6: of that, when like ten years ago I would have
Speaker 6: like salivated over the twenty dollars fall pillow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it is. It's funny.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Well we got deep today, and I hope that listeners
Speaker 3: are excited to get even deeper by checking out your book.
Speaker 3: So tell everyone where they can find you, including the
Speaker 3: name of your book.
Speaker 5: And I also have to know if is.
Speaker 3: There going to be a nap Time Kitchen cookbook, because
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm assuming there's also a cookbook and
Speaker 3: there's not yet.
Speaker 1: No, there's not yet. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I go back and forth a lot on a cookbook.
Speaker 6: I really love writing, and not that you don't write
Speaker 6: in a cookbook, but I don't know. I wish I
Speaker 6: had a better answer for you right now. I'm like, oh, gosh,
Speaker 6: don't even ask me about another book. Oh but I do.
Speaker 6: I have recipes on my blog, so I am Naptime
Speaker 6: Kitchen on Instagram. My blog is Naptime Kitchen dot Com.
Speaker 6: And then the book is I just wish I had
Speaker 6: a bigger kitchen and otherwise I think will make me happy.
Speaker 3: And it's such a fun read. You guys, I really
Speaker 3: enjoyed it. Thank you, thank you so much, so much
Speaker 3: for coming on, Kate. This has been a pleasure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: Well we are back. That was a wonderful interview. Sarah
Speaker 2: interviewing Kate Strickler, author of the book I just wish
Speaker 2: I had a bigger kitchen about comparison than how we
Speaker 2: can deal with that.
Speaker 4: In our own lives.
Speaker 2: So this question comes from a listener who says, I
Speaker 2: just listened to the episode about trips with friends, and
Speaker 2: I'm inspired. I do have a trip planned in September
Speaker 2: to travel with a friend to Croatia for a wedding.
Speaker 4: My husband decided it would be too much to try.
Speaker 2: To take our six and three year old on such
Speaker 2: a long trip, not to mention the be in school
Speaker 2: at that point, so my husband's staying with the kids.
Speaker 2: I'll be away for almost nine days. My husband and
Speaker 2: my mom and his mom are all chipping in. The
Speaker 2: kids are going to be fine and well cared for.
Speaker 4: Clearly.
Speaker 2: She says, I'm actually more worried about myself. I've never
Speaker 2: been away from my kids this long. My question is
Speaker 2: should I try to FaceTime them regularly? Would it be
Speaker 2: better to just send love messages through my husband? How
Speaker 2: would you handle this, Sarah?
Speaker 4: What do you think?
Speaker 3: Oh? Well, first of all, I just have to say
Speaker 3: the fact that we helped inspire this makes me so happy.
Speaker 3: Or maybe you were already planning it, but now you
Speaker 3: just feel better about doing it.
Speaker 4: Either way, that works too.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 4: We're happy anyway.
Speaker 5: If you have a fantastic trip.
Speaker 3: I think I would kind of like go in the
Speaker 3: middle ground and be like, let's plan on a FaceTime
Speaker 3: on this day, this day, and this day, not every
Speaker 3: single day, because probably those facetimes will induce some emotions
Speaker 3: and I don't know that they need to be stirred
Speaker 3: up on a daily basis, but maybe if they have
Speaker 3: a few days to look forward to, that would be good.
Speaker 3: And I definitely think this is an occasion where like
Speaker 3: bringing home trinkets, promising trinkets, talking about what you're bringing home,
Speaker 3: like surprises, whatever, Like maybe you're gonna give them a
Speaker 3: hint at each FaceTime, like why not that will kind
Speaker 3: of turn this into something that might be a little
Speaker 3: bit fun for them. My own memories of my dad
Speaker 3: going on work trips is basically like, what what did
Speaker 3: he bring me?
Speaker 4: So in that suitcase? As soon as he gets home? Right,
Speaker 4: what's and then it worked?
Speaker 5: Is so why not?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Exactly?
Speaker 2: So I have a slightly different take, and this is
Speaker 2: from being a parent who has been home with small
Speaker 2: children while my husband has been away on international business
Speaker 2: trips for significant periods of time, which is that whether
Speaker 2: or not you FaceTime should be one hundred percent up.
Speaker 4: To your husband.
Speaker 2: Oh that makes right, okay, And because there is nothing
Speaker 2: worse than having an evening where you are trying to
Speaker 2: run solo and get the kids to do what they're
Speaker 2: trying to do at the time you want them to
Speaker 2: do it, and they're happy, and then the other parent
Speaker 2: is expecting to talk to them and everything is messed up, right, Like,
Speaker 2: it just is aggravating. So I would say, if he
Speaker 2: wants to FaceTime you because it works in the run
Speaker 2: of show that he is doing, then that is fine,
Speaker 2: and you could try to make sure you take that
Speaker 2: call whenever it is. Now, remember there's going to be
Speaker 2: a huge time difference here, like you're five six hours
Speaker 2: six hours yeah ahead in Eastern Europe, So there are.
Speaker 4: Limited times where this is even going to work.
Speaker 2: If the kids are in school and then they're going
Speaker 2: to bad at like eight o'clock at night like this,
Speaker 2: you know, because that window when they are available is
Speaker 2: ten pm to three am.
Speaker 4: You know it's not going to work, right.
Speaker 2: But that said, so, if he does decide and you
Speaker 2: want to take it, that would be fine, but you
Speaker 2: should not necessarily initiate it at a time that is
Speaker 2: convenient for you and expect him to pick up and
Speaker 2: make it happen.
Speaker 4: All right. That sounds maybe a little bit harsh, but
Speaker 4: uh no, that totally makes sense.
Speaker 3: I can see that I haven't experienced this personally really
Speaker 3: because I guess Josh to go to Germany once for
Speaker 3: a work trip, but generally, like this just isn't part
Speaker 3: of our day to day reality. But maybe you could
Speaker 3: meld the two by sending little videos where you talk
Speaker 3: about the presence you're gonna bring home that he could
Speaker 3: play at his leisure.
Speaker 4: That's true, And if.
Speaker 2: He thinks it would be helpful to have the video
Speaker 2: for mommy, awesome, if he thinks in any given moment
Speaker 2: that that would be the worst thing in the world
Speaker 2: to have the video.
Speaker 3: For not care that just not show it right totally.
Speaker 2: That would be a perfect way to get a mix
Speaker 2: between this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can send notes.
Speaker 2: If your six year old can read, then obviously you know,
Speaker 2: if he texts those through your husband they can read.
Speaker 2: He can again show them to the six year old
Speaker 2: at his convenience and you can have that communication that way.
Speaker 2: And yeah, bringing home presence is a great idea. Love
Speaker 2: it all right, Well, this has been best of both worlds.
Speaker 2: Sarah has been interviewing Kate Strickler about how I.
Speaker 4: Just wish I had a bigger kitchen.
Speaker 2: We will be back next week with more on making
Speaker 2: work in life fit together.
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
Speaker 3: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram.
Speaker 2: And you can find me Laura at Laura vander com.
Speaker 2: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please
Speaker 2: join us next time for more on making work and
Speaker 2: life work together.