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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

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Speaker 2: and speaker.

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Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,

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Speaker 3: and courtse creator. We are two working parents who love

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Speaker 3: our careers and our families.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about

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Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.

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Speaker 2: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long.

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Speaker 4: Term career goals.

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Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.

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Speaker 2: This episode is airing in early October of twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 2: Sarah is going to be interviewing Kate Strickler, who is

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Speaker 2: the author of the brand new book I Just Wish

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Speaker 2: I Had a Bigger Kitchen, which is essays about comparison

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Speaker 2: being content with our own lives. Sarah, maybe you can

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Speaker 2: tell us all a little bit about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was really attracted to the concept of this

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Speaker 3: book when I saw the title. Kate is a kind

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Speaker 3: of a social media personality and a She does a

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Speaker 3: lot of cooking videos and she's known as Naptime Kitchen

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Speaker 3: is her brand, and she created that while her kids

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Speaker 3: were really little, and she talks about struggling with comparison

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Speaker 3: and how that has gotten her down in various areas

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Speaker 3: of life and how she is still working through that

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Speaker 3: and as someone who absolutely can fall prey.

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Speaker 5: To these same difficulties at times.

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Speaker 3: I just thought it was a fantastic topic for the book,

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Speaker 3: and she does a great job talking about it in

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Speaker 3: various realms of life, so from like how you look

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Speaker 3: to how much money you have to what you're doing.

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Speaker 5: For work and all kinds of things.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, it's just really interesting to read it because

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Speaker 3: it was done so personally. I mean, she talks about

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Speaker 3: what she's actually struggling with and what she's still struggling

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Speaker 3: with and what has helped, and you feel like you

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Speaker 3: really get to know her.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, well that's so fascinating that she's a social

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Speaker 2: media personality give and that I think social media is

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Speaker 2: kind of the source of a lot of people's compare

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Speaker 2: and despair. I mean, how does that work out? I mean,

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Speaker 2: I know that something you've thought about in the past

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Speaker 2: and actually have exited several apps because of.

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Speaker 3: She does talk about that, she does not say the

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Speaker 3: answer is to get off, maybe because because.

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Speaker 4: That's how she makes her living.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I mean that's fair, that is absolutely fair. I

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Speaker 3: mean she actually does probably talk about that. I'm trying

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Speaker 3: to remember if she specifically talks about like not following

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Speaker 3: accounts which make you feel bad. I have found that

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Speaker 3: to be a fantastic tool the unsubscribe or just to

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Speaker 3: quit a platform altogether. I'm going to just also say,

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Speaker 3: if you decide that like reading someone's thing or listening

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Speaker 3: to them isn't serving you, you can just quietly leave.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be forever. It can be an

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Speaker 3: experiment where you see if you miss that person's presence

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Speaker 3: in your life, where you're like, huh, I actually feel

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Speaker 3: better not seeing that. And also you don't have to

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Speaker 3: tell them.

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Speaker 4: Also true with the creator.

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Speaker 3: I've received a couple of like people flouncing out of

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Speaker 3: my website and I'm like, you could just leave, it's fine,

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Speaker 3: it's fine.

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Speaker 2: Well, and like the apps don't send you a notification

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Speaker 2: like so and so has stopped following you. I mean

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Speaker 2: that might be interesting in it of itself, but like, no,

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Speaker 2: generally they don't know at all, and so yeah, you

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Speaker 2: can just quietly put a pause on it, and if

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Speaker 2: you find it that you've been missing somebody's wonderful photos

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Speaker 2: of children and matching outfits frolicking on the beach.

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Speaker 4: You can always follow them again. But if that thought never.

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Speaker 2: Crosses your mind once you stop seeing them, then maybe

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Speaker 2: that's something to know.

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Speaker 3: Yes, for me, it's been the like running accounts. Even

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Speaker 3: though I respect these creators so much and there's nothing

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Speaker 3: wrong with what they're putting out there, I'm like, I

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Speaker 3: don't need this for me and for you, I feel

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Speaker 3: like your pain point is exactly what you just said.

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Speaker 5: It's the although I think maybe.

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Speaker 2: You just find it funny at this point, that's true,

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Speaker 2: the white you just find it, Oh, this is my children,

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Speaker 2: Like there are certain lines in the sand, and the

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Speaker 2: matching outfits is one of them. Which is why I

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Speaker 2: will never be like a big family influencer, since I

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Speaker 2: think it is a requirement to show all your children

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Speaker 2: like lined up in matching outfits in some sort of

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Speaker 2: natural scene. I mean your husband would have to be

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Speaker 2: in it too. It's almost you'd have to hire a

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Speaker 2: photographer because he can't just take it like you have

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Speaker 2: to show him too.

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Speaker 3: And they have to be like white, like flat out

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Speaker 3: no want linen designer outfits. We're not talking Christmas pajamas,

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Speaker 3: like you got to like they humor.

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Speaker 2: Me on Christmas, Like we all get matching pajamas on Christmas,

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Speaker 2: and with some grumbling, everyone will wear the matching pajamas

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Speaker 2: on Christmas for like one photo and then somebody's back

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Speaker 2: in a hoodie or whatever, and you know you never

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Speaker 2: get it again.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, well, anyway, this book is really fun and

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Speaker 3: she does talk about stuff like that and again how

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Speaker 3: you can kind of empower yourself to live your own

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Speaker 3: life and enjoy what you do have without being worried

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Speaker 3: about keeping up with the Joneses.

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Speaker 5: So I hope you enjoy this conversation absolutely.

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Speaker 4: Well, let's hear what Kate Strickler us to say.

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Speaker 3: Well, I am so excited to be here with Kate Strickler,

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Speaker 3: the author of I Just Wish I had a bigger

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Speaker 3: kitchen and creator behind Naptime Kitchen.

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Speaker 5: Welcome Kate to the show.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much for having me. Happy

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Speaker 1: to be here.

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Speaker 3: So I loved reading your book, which is all about

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Speaker 3: the comparison trap as Laura and I just talked about,

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Speaker 3: and I am just wondering, Well, first, I guess give

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Speaker 3: our listeners some of them probably know you from the

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Speaker 3: various socials that you're on because you are kind of big.

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Speaker 3: But just in case they don't give us a little

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Speaker 3: hint of your career journey as it's looked so far

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Speaker 3: and kind of where you are with everything.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely.

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Speaker 6: So. My name is Kate Strickler. I am a mom

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Speaker 6: of four mary Tonate. We live in Charleston, South Carolina,

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Speaker 6: and almost ten years ago, really, which sounds so wild,

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Speaker 6: I started Naptime Kitchen, which was never meant to be

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Speaker 6: any It was just a place to post recipes I

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Speaker 6: was making, and really just a creative outlet in a

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Speaker 6: season where I was really lacking in creativity. My son

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Speaker 6: was napping twice a day, I was stuck at home

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Speaker 6: a lot, and so I just kind of channeled my.

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Speaker 1: Energy into cooking.

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Speaker 6: And it's funny because at the beginning the recipes were

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Speaker 6: like way more elaborate because it was like, hey, I

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Speaker 6: have this whole nap time, and I was really leaning

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Speaker 6: into the nap time cooking, like you cook while this

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Speaker 6: baby's asleep, because you can't cook at five PM when.

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Speaker 1: The baby's screaming and attached to you.

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Speaker 6: And then over time, so we now have four children

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Speaker 6: and it's like overtime as each child joined the recipes.

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Speaker 1: Just it was an inverse relationship.

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Speaker 6: So it went from like, here's something beautiful homemade to like,

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Speaker 6: let me show you what I threw at a crockpot

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Speaker 6: with a jar of sauce.

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Speaker 3: So and both are useful for different phases of our lives.

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Speaker 5: We one hundred percent get it.

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Speaker 3: I've got three kids, Laura has five, so we are

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Speaker 3: right there with you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that is awesome.

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Speaker 3: And so this journey kind of I mean, let's just

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Speaker 3: be honest, like, You've had some awesome success in the

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Speaker 3: social media space, which is really really cool, and now

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Speaker 3: you've written a book. So what has it been like

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Speaker 3: for this to become your career.

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Speaker 6: Yes, well it really was pretty slow, and so it

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Speaker 6: wasn't something that like overnight happened, but just this kind

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Speaker 6: of slow realization of like, wow, okay, people are following

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Speaker 6: along with this, and then like a year would go

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Speaker 6: by and I'd be like, wow, like a lot more

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Speaker 6: people are following along with this, and then I like,

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Speaker 6: remember when I got paid to do something for the

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Speaker 6: first time, and I was like, oh my gosh, because

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Speaker 6: before that, like somebody would send me like a bag

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Speaker 6: of almonds and I.

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Speaker 1: Would be like, this is amazing. I can't believe I

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Speaker 1: got a free bag.

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Speaker 6: Of almonds as a veil, you know, just so funny.

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Speaker 6: And so it took a long time for me to

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Speaker 6: kind of come to terms with the fact that it

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Speaker 6: was a career, like that this could be something that

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Speaker 6: would be a job and be sustainable. And I think

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Speaker 6: it helped me when I started to name it as that,

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Speaker 6: because then I could start to be like, Okay, this

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Speaker 6: is work, Like I need to set aside time for this,

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Speaker 6: I need to give a certain amount of energy to this,

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Speaker 6: all of those sorts of things. But I don't even

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Speaker 6: know if I answered your question fully, but that's kind

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Speaker 6: of where just slowly over time, it wasn't this like

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Speaker 6: overnight decision. But then probably well when Alberta was born,

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Speaker 6: so that would have been, like, you know, I was

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Speaker 6: like six years in at this point. That's when it

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Speaker 6: really started to be like, Okay, I think this is

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Speaker 6: really something that I could build on if I was

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Speaker 6: given a little more time to do.

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Speaker 3: So that's so cool. And then your husband ended up

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Speaker 3: joining in. I think that must have been a pivotal

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Speaker 3: moment as well.

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Speaker 6: That was really pivotal, and you know, it's funny because

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Speaker 6: he works with me, he does his own stuff on

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Speaker 6: the side, like he's still a practicing attorney, so he

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Speaker 6: can still do law for people. He really has found

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Speaker 6: like a niche kind of in my market of doing

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Speaker 6: law for other creators, just kind of understands how the

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Speaker 6: contracts were, like because able to you know, be helpful

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Speaker 6: in that regard for people. But at first it was

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Speaker 6: definitely he needed like a clean break, like he couldn't

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Speaker 6: just go part time for his firm. It just didn't

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Speaker 6: work that way. So for the first few months it

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Speaker 6: was like a very clean break of like Nate no

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Speaker 6: longer works at this law firm or he was doing

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Speaker 6: in house at that not that it matters, but that

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Speaker 6: was like a pretty big like Okay, this is like

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Speaker 6: our schedule is really different, and Nate is very really

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Speaker 6: pretty organized and like wants to understand how the days

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Speaker 6: are going to go.

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Speaker 1: So he wasn't like, hey, let's just like see.

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Speaker 6: He was like, okay, I want to know like when

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Speaker 6: you expect to be working, when I should expect to

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Speaker 6: be working, Like let's create some sort of schedule. So

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Speaker 6: he really spearheaded kind of like what our days would

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Speaker 6: look like, which was good for me because I needed that.

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Speaker 3: That is super interesting kind of behind the scenes stuff.

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Speaker 3: And I love how both of you ended up kind

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Speaker 3: of doing what we call on the show sometimes career crafting.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's like it's evolved slowly, but you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: let me lean into this because I'm really good at that,

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Speaker 3: and let me develop this niche. And it worked out

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Speaker 3: so well well with all the success. I guess what

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Speaker 3: I was leading up to is then you write a

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Speaker 3: book that's like, and yet I can't stop comparing myself

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Speaker 3: to everyone else in all of these realms, and I

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Speaker 3: one hundred percent get it. I am like, I one

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Speaker 3: hundred percent get it. But I also want you to

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Speaker 3: talk about kind of like, well, how did you realize that?

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Speaker 3: And how can that be true when you're someone who

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Speaker 3: objectively has just done so incredibly well in life.

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Speaker 6: I know, you know, I think partly it is just

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Speaker 6: like part of the human condition that we just do

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Speaker 6: this to ourselves. I always think of that. I'm pretty

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Speaker 6: sure it was C. S. Lewis that was like envy

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Speaker 6: doesn't want the most, It just wants more than the

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Speaker 6: other person, you know, or it was it pride or

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Speaker 6: arrogance or whatever. It's like it just wants to be

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Speaker 6: above the other people, and our hearts are so bent

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Speaker 6: towards that. And online is a space that I really

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Speaker 6: love and I love the connection, but unfortunately it gives

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Speaker 6: you like a view into way more people's lives than

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Speaker 6: you would ever have on a normal basis. So I

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Speaker 6: think that there was kind of a perfect, a perfect

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Speaker 6: coming together. I don't even want to call it a storm,

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Speaker 6: because I feel like a storm's kind of a negative term.

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Speaker 6: But I was in a place where I was able

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Speaker 6: to kind of share vulnerably if I was having a

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Speaker 6: hard time with something, and then because I was online,

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Speaker 6: I would receive hundreds of DMS back of people.

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Speaker 1: Being like, wow, I feel that way too, Like I can't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't.

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Speaker 6: One, I can't believe you feel that way, Kate. I

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Speaker 6: would have never imagined that you would feel that way.

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Speaker 6: And two like, man, thanks for like saying that, because

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Speaker 6: I have felt really alone in it or you know,

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Speaker 6: whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: And so I.

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Speaker 6: Started to almost have this like test case where I

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Speaker 6: was like, Okay, every time I share something like this,

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Speaker 6: there is like a huge response, and every time, like

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Speaker 6: much bigger than other things that I would share, you know,

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Speaker 6: just this kind of like desire. I think that especially

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Speaker 6: as women, we have to just know we're not alone,

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Speaker 6: that other people are feeling these things, matched with kind

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Speaker 6: of like a guilt. I was feeling of like, gosh,

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Speaker 6: I shouldn't be feeling this way, I should just be

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Speaker 6: happy and grateful all the time. But I have never

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Speaker 6: met a woman who has been that way. You know, like,

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Speaker 6: normally there's something that has to intersect in your life

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Speaker 6: to make you realize how good you have it, Like

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Speaker 6: something bad happens and you're like, gosh, I can't believe

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Speaker 6: I took that for granted. But on a daily basis,

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Speaker 6: I think that the struggle for contentment and the struggle

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Speaker 6: against comparison is just like very living an act.

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Speaker 3: I totally can see that, and it's almost like on

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Speaker 3: a smaller scale we have that struggle, even if on

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Speaker 3: a larger scale like we know, we know, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: we are so lucky. I'm sitting here in a climate

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Speaker 3: controlled environment, like wearing clothes, I don't have to worry

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Speaker 3: about where my next meal comes from, like, and yet

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Speaker 3: it doesn't stop the fact that when somebody else tells

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Speaker 3: you about their kid doing something amazing, you're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: maybe mine didn't do that, And I feel a certain way,

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Speaker 3: and there's something very human there and something so honest,

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Speaker 3: and I love I think what you're getting out with

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Speaker 3: the responses, like you hit a nerve and the fact

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Speaker 3: that you were willing to share vulnerably because this book

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Speaker 3: is pretty is pretty raw in some of these chapters,

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Speaker 3: and I love that in a lot of these different areas,

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Speaker 3: I think is just really really valuable because I don't

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Speaker 3: think there's just that many people putting themselves out there

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Speaker 3: like this.

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Speaker 1: Thanks.

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Speaker 6: It's funny because during the writing process, I think I

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Speaker 6: was just so in it that I was doing it.

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Speaker 6: Like a month before the book came out. I was like,

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Speaker 6: oh my gosh, everyone is about to read this.

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Speaker 1: What did I do? And I'm so great. It's like

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Speaker 1: you know, but I was like, oh, gosh, okay, here

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Speaker 1: it is.

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Speaker 5: We're doing this.

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Speaker 1: It's in boxes, it's going to bookstores, all right.

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Speaker 3: But seriously, I'm so glad you did. We're going to

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Speaker 3: take a quick break and then we're going to start

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Speaker 3: delving into some of those specific areas that you talk

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Speaker 3: about in your book. All right, we are back, and

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Speaker 3: we were just talking about Kate's vulnerability and how she

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Speaker 3: really delved into multiple areas where I think many of

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Speaker 3: us tend to compare and despair, and she goes into

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Speaker 3: detail about like what in this area has been hard

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Speaker 3: and then has some solutions of like what has been

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Speaker 3: helping And Kate, I love how you you're never like

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Speaker 3: and this is the answer You're like and this is

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Speaker 3: still a continued process. Yeah, because I guess you know

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Speaker 3: this is going to be human nature. It's going to

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Speaker 3: be a forever thing. But let's dive into the first place.

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Speaker 3: And I'm going to go with the title, So Home,

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Speaker 3: I wish I had a bigger kitchen. Earn my case,

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Speaker 3: I wish I had a beautifully organized, minimalist home. Go

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Speaker 3: tell me about your struggles and some of the things

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Speaker 3: you've done to counteract them.

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Speaker 6: Yes, so the home chapter really, like the bigger kitchen

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Speaker 6: title really was very honest, because so funny. I've been

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Speaker 6: on Instagram and so often cooking in like an interior kitchen,

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Speaker 6: like I have no great lighting, I don't have a

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Speaker 6: big island, I don't have ample storage, and so really

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Speaker 6: I would be like, oh.

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Speaker 1: I really just wished I had a biker kitchen.

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Speaker 6: But I think that the kitchen so much like for

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Speaker 6: so many people, just exemplifies this like level of peace

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Speaker 6: kind of for you, like you were saying a minimalist tone,

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Speaker 6: you like, look at someone who has that home and

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Speaker 6: you just think, like, man, their life is so simple,

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Speaker 6: they're probably so happy. Everything about their life is probably

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Speaker 6: better than mine. You just kind of create this whole

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Speaker 6: narrative based off of, like it's so funny to say,

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Speaker 6: but based off of like a clear kitchen island that

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Speaker 6: I could believe, like this whole narrative for somebody based

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Speaker 6: off of that. But I think our homes, I hope not.

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Speaker 6: You know, I really try in this chapter not to

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Speaker 6: do a disservice to the home, like not to say

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Speaker 6: it shouldn't matter, because I think it actually deeply, deeply matters,

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Speaker 6: Like it quite literally houses you. You know, it is

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Speaker 6: where you see spend probably more time than anywhere else.

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Speaker 6: But I think that we really have got to reframe

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Speaker 6: what we see our homes as. And so I think

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Speaker 6: about even my little girls playing with like a Barbie dollhouse.

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Speaker 6: They don't just sit the Barbie in the dollhouse, they

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Speaker 6: play with the Barbie in the dollhouse, like they move

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Speaker 6: it around, and they move the furniture around and they

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Speaker 6: make it whatever they need it to be for what

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Speaker 6: their barbies are doing. And I think sometimes we think

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Speaker 6: of our homes as like something that we're just gonna

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Speaker 6: sit in and not touch and have be beautiful all

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Speaker 6: the time. But really it's such a working mechanism in

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Speaker 6: our house. Like everything, it's like it needs to be moving.

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Speaker 6: I think furniture, there are seasons where your furniture should move,

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Speaker 6: you know, like you're gonna do something with You're gonna

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Speaker 6: have a playroom for a while, and then eventually you're

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Speaker 6: gonna be like, you know what, our kids don't need

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Speaker 6: a playroom anymore. How could we use this space differently?

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Speaker 6: Or your basement was used for something and now you're like,

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Speaker 6: you know what, the kids are older, we could really

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Speaker 6: use like a pool table down here. How do we

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Speaker 6: change this space for our season of life? And so

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Speaker 6: seeing your home that way is like, how is this

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Speaker 6: a tool that serves our family versus this like Christine

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Speaker 6: building that we just try and like maneuver our lives around.

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Speaker 5: Like a symbol or something like yes, yes, agreed as.

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Speaker 1: A human yes exactly.

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Speaker 3: I also feel like when we see examples of others' homes,

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Speaker 3: we're either seeing them curated spaces on social media, or

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Speaker 3: even when you're invited to someone's house, unless it's like

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Speaker 3: your best friend, you're probably getting the best possible version

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Speaker 3: of their house.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and that probably doesn't help.

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Speaker 4: I'm guessing no.

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Speaker 6: And it's funny because in my real life when I

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Speaker 6: walk into my friends' houses, I see the whole picture.

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Speaker 6: You see, even if they're like countertop is clean, they

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Speaker 6: have a corner.

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Speaker 1: Everybody's got a corner.

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Speaker 6: Everybody has a place they're trying to like shove the

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Speaker 6: mail and that thing they need to return, and that

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Speaker 6: tupperware they got to get to somebody, and the short

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Speaker 6: that didn't fit that they got to get back to

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Speaker 6: the store. Like everybody has that somewhere. I think you

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Speaker 6: see it so much more in real life, and so

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Speaker 6: we have to like fight online remember that those corners

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Speaker 6: exist in the same way, we just might.

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Speaker 1: Not see them.

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Speaker 3: So your advice would be to think of your home

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Speaker 3: in terms of its utility and in terms of the

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Speaker 3: living that you're doing in it and its function, and

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Speaker 3: then also pay attention to when you can get a

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Speaker 3: taste of what other people's real environments look like.

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Speaker 6: Yes, I would definitely pay attention when you go to

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Speaker 6: other people's homes.

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Speaker 1: And just see like and see the different way.

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Speaker 6: Like I would be very open minded, like how do

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Speaker 6: they deal with shoes by the door? What systems do

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Speaker 6: they have in place? But I think there is a

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Speaker 6: place for utility and like beauty to meet. But I

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Speaker 6: think very often we sacrifice utility for beauty and then

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Speaker 6: we get super frustrated at ourselves or at the people

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Speaker 6: that live in our home that are like, listen, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 6: I just got to put my shoes somewhere. And so

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Speaker 6: I know you want this beautiful table by the front

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Speaker 6: door that has like a few pictures on it, but

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Speaker 6: like we might really need some shoe bins, you know,

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Speaker 6: like whatever it is that, we've got to find a

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Speaker 6: way for those things to marry or else you'll drive

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Speaker 6: yourself crazy.

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Speaker 5: Totally, all right.

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Speaker 3: The next area we're going to talk about is the

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Speaker 3: I just Wish I was a better mom chapter. We

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Speaker 3: have definitely talked on this podcast about mom guilt and

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Speaker 3: the phenomenon how there's not a lot of dad guilt

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Speaker 3: or parenting guilt, and yet it's just so innate. Actually,

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Speaker 3: of the two hosts of the show, Laura is much

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Speaker 3: better at not succumbing to mom guilt, I think compared

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Speaker 3: to me, and even when I logically know it doesn't

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Speaker 3: belong there, like my kids' lives are awesome objectively, I

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Speaker 3: just sometimes have it anyway. Yeah, And I think you

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Speaker 3: do too, despite having like four kids and so much

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Speaker 3: time that you spend with them. So where does this

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Speaker 3: come from, do you think? And how can we best

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Speaker 3: fight it?

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Speaker 6: I think a lot of the times that it comes

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Speaker 6: from like a good place. It comes from a desire

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Speaker 6: to be there for our children. But I think that

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Speaker 6: as humans, like we just have limits and so we

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Speaker 6: cannot Like it's you can't have a home that is

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Speaker 6: perfectly clean and a meal that is made and snuggle

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Speaker 6: your child during their nap time because during nap time

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Speaker 6: was when you were either going to clean or you

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Speaker 6: were going to prep dinner.

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Speaker 1: Like you can't do it all.

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Speaker 6: And so that's where I think that we can get

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Speaker 6: really down on ourselves. But it's normally something that I've

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Speaker 6: been thinking a lot about this year. It's been coming

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Speaker 6: up a lot. Is like accepting capacity. And I think

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Speaker 6: when we can accept capacity. It really can help alleviate

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Speaker 6: some of that guilt because it's not you should be

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Speaker 6: doing it all, but it's like, you know what you can't, like,

441
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 6: where can your capacity go today? So that is something

442
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,400
Speaker 6: I've been thinking about a lot. And then specifically with

443
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 6: my kids, I've really been trying to show them that

444
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,879
Speaker 6: I enjoy my job and that I enjoy them, and

445
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 6: that in doing two things, sometimes you just have to

446
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 6: make a choice. Like sometimes you want two desserts on

447
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 6: the dessert menu and you pick one of the two.

448
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 6: And I feel very lucky that I do enjoy my

449
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 6: job like ninety nine percent of the time. But I

450
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 6: want my kids to see a mom who made sacrifices

451
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 6: to be with them but also made sacrifices for our

452
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 6: family in terms of work. That like, that was that

453
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 6: that's something I'm doing also for our family, and it's not.

454
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: Like this awful thing like that they could have a

455
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: job they.

456
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 6: Love and a family they love, and they if they do,

457
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 6: they won't be at everything always, but that's okay. That

458
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 6: that's like a very natural and kind of good consequence,

459
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 6: Like you're just you can't be in two places, and

460
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 6: that's okay.

461
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 3: I love that and even playing the thought experiment that

462
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 3: you didn't have a job just because you have four kids.

463
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 3: Remember that you can always be in two places, like

464
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 3: you might have to miss kid A's game because.

465
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 5: You're at kid Be's games.

466
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 3: So yeah, the capacity be question applies no matter where

467
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 3: you are in life. Although on the show, of course,

468
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 3: we love that you are making work in life fit

469
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 3: together in that way and that you're really enjoying both.

470
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 6: So I love that, And I think when you frame

471
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 6: it as teaching your kids about capacity, it's like, you know,

472
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 6: whenever you tell your you're so much more kind to

473
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 6: somebody other than yourself. And so I think if you're

474
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 6: teaching your child like, hey, I get it, like you

475
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 6: want to do two things and you just can't, Like

476
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 6: how healthy to model that to them, versus like I

477
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 6: can do it all all the time, Like that's a

478
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 6: pretty hard standard to have and to So I think

479
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 6: it's healthy for them to see your humanity, your limits,

480
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,360
Speaker 6: like those kinds of things. So I think you're teaching

481
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 6: something really valuable when you show them that the choices.

482
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 5: Yes, I love that.

483
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 3: All right, we're going to take another quick break and

484
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 3: then we're going to get to the category of friends

485
00:22:54,680 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 3: and fomo. All right, we are back and we are

486
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 3: going through some of the vulnerable categories that Kate shared

487
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 3: about in her book I just wish I had a

488
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 3: bigger kitchen in terms of comparison, and one of the

489
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 3: chapters that I really liked was about friends or just

490
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 3: feeling like I wish I had better friends or I

491
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 3: was in a more cohesive group, and definitely appreciated some

492
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 3: of the examples you used about, like you thought you

493
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 3: were good and then you saw somebody else on their girls'

494
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,199
Speaker 3: chep and were like, oh, I wasn't invited to that,

495
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 3: And yeah, I guess would you say that this is

496
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 3: a category that's harder today with social media out there.

497
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 6: I think so much harder, And unfortunately, I don't think

498
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 6: the majority of people are trying to be hurtful in

499
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 6: any way. They're just sharing something fun. And you just

500
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 6: noticed that there was a group together, especially if you

501
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 6: don't know the backstory of.

502
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: Like maybe they just both showed up to the beat.

503
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 6: Maybe they just decided that they were both going to

504
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 6: go to the beach and then they happened to be

505
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 6: there at the same time. But you think, oh, they

506
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,159
Speaker 6: planned it, they planned it and they thought to themselves,

507
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 6: let's not invite Kate, you know, like or even I,

508
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 6: you know, especially now, like we have lots of friends

509
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 6: that are turning forty and doing fun things for forty.

510
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 6: It's and it's like you just can't have a two

511
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 6: hundred person party. And really, if you want to go

512
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 6: out to dinner, it's really hard to make a reservation

513
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 6: for more than like ten people. And so there are

514
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 6: there are like limiting circumstances that are going to leave

515
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 6: people out that I just don't think are ill intentioned.

516
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 1: It's just kind of like unfortunate. That's just how life is.

517
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: But a lot of the times, if you see.

518
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 6: It on social media, you don't have any of the

519
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 6: backstory there, and then you just you might not have

520
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 6: ever known it was going to happen, but now you know.

521
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 1: It did happen, and you see who's together.

522
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 6: And so I think that this is an area that

523
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:00,919
Speaker 6: unfortunately is a real unfortunate negative of social media. And

524
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 6: I don't know, I don't know a good I don't

525
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 6: know a way around it. I don't know how to

526
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 6: make it better. But I feel very sensitive to it,

527
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 6: especially probably because of my following and because I know

528
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 6: I have lots of friends that follow me. I feel

529
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 6: so sensitive to like what if I have girls over

530
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 6: and a picture is posted and somebody else sees it

531
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 6: and they just feel like they weren't.

532
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: Included and I don't even know who they are.

533
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 6: In my head right now, I'm like, who would it

534
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 6: be that I forgot to include? But so it would

535
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 6: have never been ill intention towards that person. It would

536
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 6: have just been probably an oversight. But I get very,

537
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,360
Speaker 6: very fearful of just people feeling left.

538
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 3: Out totally, And so what would you say is the

539
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,600
Speaker 3: best way to get over this?

540
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 1: One?

541
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 3: Just more like remember to if there's someone who I

542
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 3: hang out with, like make that happen that you have

543
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 3: agency to invite that persons.

544
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 1: One. I think agency is huge.

545
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 6: I think like if you're really wanting to like have

546
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 6: a fun dinner out and you're like wallow in.

547
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 1: And I'm like, send a text, get a date on

548
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 1: the calendar.

549
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 6: With some friends, and like be the instigator in that situation,

550
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 6: and then I you know, it's funny that sounds because

551
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 6: I actually talk about this in the husband chapter, but

552
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 6: I would really fight to give people the benefit of

553
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 6: the doubt that it was probably not something deeply against you.

554
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 6: It could have so easily been a capacity thing and

555
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 6: oversight or something that wasn't even planned to begin with

556
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 6: that just happened, you know, like very spontaneously, and you

557
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 6: just happen to not be there. And then I think, like,

558
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 6: at the end of the day, it's just you.

559
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 1: You have to kind of be okay in who you are.

560
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 6: And I think that friendship especially can feel so tender

561
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 6: and so scary because you're wondering.

562
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 1: Am I not liked? Like was I not included?

563
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 6: And I would say if it's something that is like

564
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 6: a pattern or something that you're feeling hurt by, I

565
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 6: would We're at the age where I'm like, we got

566
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 6: to have these conversations, Like if there's somebody that you're

567
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 6: consistently feeling hurt by, I'm like, man, you should probably

568
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 6: have a conversation with them. Like we just got to

569
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 6: at our age either, you know, you got to push

570
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 6: through it and have the kind of conversations. And I

571
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,199
Speaker 6: think I would say that a lot of my closest

572
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 6: friends are people that I have had hard conversations with

573
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 6: over the years, And I think sometimes we believe friendship is.

574
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: Just easy all the time, but I.

575
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,479
Speaker 6: Think friendship is a lot like marriage, Like you're going

576
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 6: to say something that hurts someone, there's going to be

577
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 6: something that's miscommunicated, and so as much as you can,

578
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 6: like I think it is, if someone were to come

579
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 6: to me and want to talk to me about something,

580
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 6: I would see that as like, Wow, they really value me.

581
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 6: They didn't just decide like let's just cut her out,

582
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 6: like I'm just not even going to mess with it anymore.

583
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 6: It's like, no, I want to work through this. And

584
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 6: so I guess I would say if you're in like

585
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 6: a season of repetitive hurt feelings or fomo feelings.

586
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,360
Speaker 1: Like I would one make your own magic.

587
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 6: Out there, but two like, if it's a specific thing, gosh,

588
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 6: life is too short, like I would really I would

589
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 6: encourage you to conversation.

590
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally.

591
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

592
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 3: I mean I think we don't see those messy parts

593
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 3: of friendship on social media with the gaping, So you

594
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 3: just need to go a layer deeper, and I think

595
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 3: your friendships are probably going to benefit as a result anyway,

596
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 3: or you'll find out it's time to move on and

597
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 3: that's okay.

598
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, as you.

599
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 3: Said, life is short, all right. Next section, Kate I

600
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 3: didn't know what you look like. I'll be honest, I

601
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 3: actually don't look at any social media. So I'm reading

602
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 3: this chapter.

603
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 4: You were objectively beautiful.

604
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 3: I mean, you talk about looks and body image and

605
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 3: all that stuff, and you do admit that, like, you

606
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 3: get it that sometimes coming from certain people with certain

607
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 3: body types talking about body image can come off certain ways,

608
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 3: and I like that you were sensitive to that. But

609
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 3: I also get it, man, you have to also live

610
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 3: in a world where you are presenting yourself physically every

611
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 3: day and where a lot of people are using a

612
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 3: lot of filters and surgery and god knows what, and

613
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 3: we're expected to look their until we're seventy. So this

614
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 3: is an area that's really really tough, and I think

615
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 3: especially so when you're comparing yourself to face as you

616
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 3: see online.

617
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 5: Tell me about how you've handled that.

618
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 6: Yes, well, I give some like practicals in the book

619
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 6: of just things that I've noticed over the years that

620
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 6: are really helpful for me. And so it's funny because

621
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 6: I am like, I just try not to look at

622
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 6: mirrors all the time, which is so funny, but I

623
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 6: really do think that, like every time you look in

624
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 6: a mirror, you're just reminded of what you look like.

625
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 6: And so if I don't look in the mirror all

626
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 6: the time, I'm just like not as like super aware

627
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 6: of what I look like all the time, which for

628
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 6: me is just kind of helpful. But it's funny because

629
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 6: I being on social media, I'll go some days where

630
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 6: I like don't get on stories, but then other days

631
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 6: I'm like, oh my gosh, I looked at myself like

632
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 6: thirty times in my phone because I was on Instagram.

633
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 6: So I think that I do have like a sensitive

634
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 6: place for people that are showing their faces online a lot,

635
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 6: because I do think that you're just you're like, oh

636
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 6: my teeth look more yellow, or am I I'm there?

637
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 6: I think I should get into aligne like whatever it is,

638
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 6: or I wish I had longer eyelashes, like whatever.

639
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: The thing is.

640
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 6: But I think this is an area specifically where if

641
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 6: you can kind of like learn things that trigger you,

642
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 6: it can be really helpful. So for me, again, like

643
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 6: I just was like I don't need to like look

644
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 6: at my full body in a mirror all the time,

645
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 6: which is very very popular on social media. It's kind

646
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,719
Speaker 6: of like everybody has mirrors, like big mirrors like in

647
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 6: your We did not grow up where you had big

648
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 6: mirrors around everywhere. But I feel like it's like an

649
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 6: art statement piece.

650
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, it's thirteen year old, I must have a

651
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 3: full length mirror that I can pose in front of.

652
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 3: But you're right, I wonder, like that's not actually natural.

653
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: No.

654
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 6: I remember going to my mom's room like to look

655
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,719
Speaker 6: at like if I had something, I would go to

656
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 6: her bathroom because she had a full length mirror. But

657
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 6: it was like not this big part of Now they're

658
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 6: like beautiful, like thousand dollars or Nate mirrors that you're

659
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 6: putting in your house is like a piece.

660
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 1: Of art almost.

661
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 6: So I don't know that was a little bit of

662
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 6: a tangent, but I think learning what it is that

663
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 6: like is triggering to you, and what is the belief

664
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 6: that you're kind of struggling with is really valuable and

665
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 6: getting a little deeper kind of like in the friendship part.

666
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:14,959
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, guys, I'm telling you you have to go

667
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 6: deeper in some of these, but like kind of digging up,

668
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 6: like what am I believing about myself? What am I

669
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 6: believing is true about beauty?

670
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 2: You know?

671
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: What's the rub here?

672
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 6: And then there's this quote that I read recently nine

673
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 6: I per sent. Sure it was by Laura Whiffler, but

674
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 6: she was just saying, whenever you start to feel this way,

675
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 6: you should just go out into the world.

676
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: And it's so funny, but it is.

677
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 6: When you go out, like I'm just talking, like, go

678
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 6: to the grocery store, go to like your local park,

679
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 6: and you're just you're kind of brought back to like, Wow,

680
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 6: there are so many types of people, with so many

681
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 6: different hair colors and skin colors and body types. And

682
00:31:55,880 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 6: actually ninety percent of people are not a size too

683
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 6: blonde with flawless skin that you're believing is true, you know,

684
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 6: like you're believing that that's what everyone is and that's

685
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 6: why I am not enough. But when you go out

686
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,959
Speaker 6: into the world, it's like, actually, that is so inaccurate.

687
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 6: It's so inaccurate. So I think she in the last

688
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 6: six months has posted that. It's just something I've thought

689
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 6: was like such a rich wisdom of like it's so doable,

690
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 6: like a grocery store.

691
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 4: No, it's a render.

692
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 3: There's like not one way to look and there's so

693
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 3: many ways to look good too. It's so many different

694
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 3: ways to look good that may not be what immediately

695
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 3: comes to mind, so.

696
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 6: And I the sorry to cut you off. The final

697
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 6: thing I will say is when I think about the

698
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 6: people that I care about the most and have just

699
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 6: loved the most fondly, what they look like is not

700
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 6: in the top fifty things that I think about them.

701
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: It's so interesting. And when I think about like how.

702
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,479
Speaker 6: They make me feel things that they've done for me,

703
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 6: like nothing is ever attached to their body that makes sense.

704
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 6: That's a really good reset for me of just like

705
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 6: it is so not what is most important.

706
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 3: Love that We're going to do one more category because

707
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 3: we cannot leave comparison without a classic discussion of keeping

708
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 3: up with the Joneses. And you have a great chapter

709
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 3: in there about money, which I think is so interesting

710
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 3: to think about, Tangent. I'm reading Die with Zero right now,

711
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 3: So just like lots of money stuff on my mind,

712
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 3: and how people use money and how defying conventions about

713
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 3: how one might choose to use money. But the truth

714
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 3: is money is a tool and beyond enough, everything else

715
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 3: is like relative whether you think you're doing awesome or

716
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 3: whether you think you are just feeling destitute, has so

717
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 3: much more to do with like who's next to you

718
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 3: than it does with any actual reality. And yet again,

719
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 3: social media but also sometimes real life can give us

720
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 3: all kinds of signals. So I am super interested, like

721
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 3: what are I don't know, what are some of the

722
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: ways you come across this and how do you get

723
00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 3: over that? And how do you teach to your kids?

724
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 3: Because I'm going to be honest. One struggle I have

725
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 3: right now is that a couple of my kids go

726
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 3: to a school where, I mean, our family does very nicely,

727
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 3: but we are in the lower half of the income

728
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 3: spectrum at said school. So the perspective is very skewed,

729
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 3: and I would like to make sure that that does

730
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 3: not become a very faulty view of the world. That

731
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 3: it's like normal to have, you know, fifteen sports cards

732
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 3: or something like that.

733
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I think that is so true. Our kids

734
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 1: are still pretty young.

735
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 6: Like the only brand that they I think can recognize

736
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 6: at this point is Nike. Is like they notice if

737
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,800
Speaker 6: people have Nikes at school and they go to a

738
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 6: public school, And I just think that has been helpful.

739
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 6: It has like the most loose, pointless uniform. It's like

740
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 6: wear a blue or pink shirt, like it doesn't that's

741
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 6: not correct. But it's like it just doesn't even really

742
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 6: make sense. Their their uniform policy, but I think that

743
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 6: it allows for like a ton of different But even

744
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 6: at my school I was growing up, we had a uniform.

745
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 6: But I'll tell you what, you better have been wearing

746
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,479
Speaker 6: cool shoes. It's like we fit, we find a way

747
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,280
Speaker 6: to like make our give.

748
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 1: Ourselves some sort of standard that we must reach.

749
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 6: It's like we were head to toe identical, but who

750
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 6: had cool shoes? Like it's so funny that we do that.

751
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 6: And I was before social media too, so you know,

752
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 6: like even at a young age at my high school,

753
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 6: I cared that I was wearing the cool shoes. And

754
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 6: so I think that with our you know, as much

755
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:33,280
Speaker 6: as we can just help them to see what's important.

756
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 6: And I think it's I think it's a coming of

757
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 6: age thing that they're just looking for where they fit

758
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 6: in and so and money, like you said, it's a

759
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 6: tool to purchase things that help them feel like they're

760
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 6: fitting in at the end of the day. And so

761
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 6: it's probably more like an identity thing for them of

762
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 6: like helping them see like where does their worth come from?

763
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 6: How do you feel about them? And maybe even the

764
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,760
Speaker 6: exercise I was saying of like, hey, who are your friends?

765
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: Are you friends with.

766
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 6: Them because they wear Nike shoes? Or are you friends

767
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 6: with them because of how they treat you? You know,

768
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 6: like very simple concepts that I think are probably tangible for.

769
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 1: A kid, but in adults.

770
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 6: Golly, this chapter was It was pretty hard to write

771
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 6: because I really wanted to be sensitive to just there

772
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 6: are people that I think are like I mean, right now,

773
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 6: groceries are expensive. Everything feels expensive, and so I did

774
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,240
Speaker 6: not want to discount any of those things at all,

775
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 6: But I did really want to speak to the person

776
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 6: that is just constantly feeling like if I just had

777
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 6: a little more money, I would be happy if I

778
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 6: could buy that whatever that thing is, Like you were saying,

779
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 6: like keep up with the Joneses, And if I could

780
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 6: just keep up with the Joneses, then I would be happy.

781
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 6: And I think our environment is huge, like the same

782
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 6: way for your kids in school. The environment that you're

783
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 6: in can really lead you to feel whether you have

784
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 6: enough or if you're lacking, Like whether you feel like

785
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 6: you're in the upper tier of the houses in your

786
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 6: neighborhood or the lower tier of the houses in your neighborhood.

787
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 6: And how that can skew what enough is for you.

788
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 6: And so we talk a lot and I stole this

789
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 6: from Morgan Household. He talks about like the goalposts and

790
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:24,320
Speaker 6: always moving the goal posts.

791
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 1: To just have a little bit more.

792
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 6: But I think there's probably like a really honest conversation

793
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 6: that you have to have of like what is enough

794
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 6: for us? What is enough for our family? How do

795
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 6: we feel and what is it that we're just wanting

796
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 6: because we feel like we need to keep up in

797
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 6: some way or another.

798
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:41,280
Speaker 5: Totally.

799
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 3: One thing I was thinking about is like, put yourself

800
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 3: in your shoes when you were twenty and think about

801
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 3: what you have today and be like, wouldn't your twenty

802
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 3: year old self have been like wow, yeah, probably in

803
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 3: most cases, right, And then it's like, okay, well, then

804
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 3: maybe that bracelet I.

805
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,240
Speaker 5: Wanted really wouldn't be that big a deal because look.

806
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 3: At what I already have. I don't know, It's just

807
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:01,399
Speaker 3: one thing I was thinking about.

808
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 6: I remember going to Target and being like very mich budgeted,

809
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 6: like walking and being like, oh, if only I could

810
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 6: get that new like fall pillow, you know, yes, and

811
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 6: now like I could, I would if I wanted a

812
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 6: fall pillow which is so funny because now I don't

813
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 6: want the fall pillow, but if I did, like it,

814
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,879
Speaker 6: would You're right, it would be like I would be like, yeah,

815
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 6: I could get the fall pillow, like just the luxury

816
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 6: of that, when like ten years ago I would have

817
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 6: like salivated over the twenty dollars fall pillow.

818
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it is. It's funny.

819
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

820
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,720
Speaker 3: Well we got deep today, and I hope that listeners

821
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 3: are excited to get even deeper by checking out your book.

822
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 3: So tell everyone where they can find you, including the

823
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 3: name of your book.

824
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 5: And I also have to know if is.

825
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 3: There going to be a nap Time Kitchen cookbook, because

826
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm assuming there's also a cookbook and

827
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 3: there's not yet.

828
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: No, there's not yet. I don't know. I don't know.

829
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: I go back and forth a lot on a cookbook.

830
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 6: I really love writing, and not that you don't write

831
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 6: in a cookbook, but I don't know. I wish I

832
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 6: had a better answer for you right now. I'm like, oh, gosh,

833
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 6: don't even ask me about another book. Oh but I do.

834
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 6: I have recipes on my blog, so I am Naptime

835
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 6: Kitchen on Instagram. My blog is Naptime Kitchen dot Com.

836
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 6: And then the book is I just wish I had

837
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 6: a bigger kitchen and otherwise I think will make me happy.

838
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 3: And it's such a fun read. You guys, I really

839
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 3: enjoyed it. Thank you, thank you so much, so much

840
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 3: for coming on, Kate. This has been a pleasure.

841
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for having me.

842
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 2: Well we are back. That was a wonderful interview. Sarah

843
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 2: interviewing Kate Strickler, author of the book I just wish

844
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 2: I had a bigger kitchen about comparison than how we

845
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 2: can deal with that.

846
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 4: In our own lives.

847
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 2: So this question comes from a listener who says, I

848
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 2: just listened to the episode about trips with friends, and

849
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 2: I'm inspired. I do have a trip planned in September

850
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 2: to travel with a friend to Croatia for a wedding.

851
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 4: My husband decided it would be too much to try.

852
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,959
Speaker 2: To take our six and three year old on such

853
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 2: a long trip, not to mention the be in school

854
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,720
Speaker 2: at that point, so my husband's staying with the kids.

855
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 2: I'll be away for almost nine days. My husband and

856
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 2: my mom and his mom are all chipping in. The

857
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 2: kids are going to be fine and well cared for.

858
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:11,720
Speaker 4: Clearly.

859
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 2: She says, I'm actually more worried about myself. I've never

860
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 2: been away from my kids this long. My question is

861
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 2: should I try to FaceTime them regularly? Would it be

862
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 2: better to just send love messages through my husband? How

863
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 2: would you handle this, Sarah?

864
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 4: What do you think?

865
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 3: Oh? Well, first of all, I just have to say

866
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 3: the fact that we helped inspire this makes me so happy.

867
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 3: Or maybe you were already planning it, but now you

868
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 3: just feel better about doing it.

869
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 4: Either way, that works too.

870
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 1: I love it.

871
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,439
Speaker 4: We're happy anyway.

872
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 5: If you have a fantastic trip.

873
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 3: I think I would kind of like go in the

874
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 3: middle ground and be like, let's plan on a FaceTime

875
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 3: on this day, this day, and this day, not every

876
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 3: single day, because probably those facetimes will induce some emotions

877
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 3: and I don't know that they need to be stirred

878
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 3: up on a daily basis, but maybe if they have

879
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 3: a few days to look forward to, that would be good.

880
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 3: And I definitely think this is an occasion where like

881
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 3: bringing home trinkets, promising trinkets, talking about what you're bringing home,

882
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 3: like surprises, whatever, Like maybe you're gonna give them a

883
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,879
Speaker 3: hint at each FaceTime, like why not that will kind

884
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 3: of turn this into something that might be a little

885
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 3: bit fun for them. My own memories of my dad

886
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,399
Speaker 3: going on work trips is basically like, what what did

887
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 3: he bring me?

888
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:18,919
Speaker 4: So in that suitcase? As soon as he gets home? Right,

889
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:20,320
Speaker 4: what's and then it worked?

890
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 5: Is so why not?

891
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 4: Yeah? Exactly?

892
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: So I have a slightly different take, and this is

893
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 2: from being a parent who has been home with small

894
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 2: children while my husband has been away on international business

895
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 2: trips for significant periods of time, which is that whether

896
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 2: or not you FaceTime should be one hundred percent up.

897
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 4: To your husband.

898
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 2: Oh that makes right, okay, And because there is nothing

899
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,799
Speaker 2: worse than having an evening where you are trying to

900
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 2: run solo and get the kids to do what they're

901
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 2: trying to do at the time you want them to

902
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 2: do it, and they're happy, and then the other parent

903
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 2: is expecting to talk to them and everything is messed up, right, Like,

904
00:41:56,040 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: it just is aggravating. So I would say, if he

905
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 2: wants to FaceTime you because it works in the run

906
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,840
Speaker 2: of show that he is doing, then that is fine,

907
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 2: and you could try to make sure you take that

908
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 2: call whenever it is. Now, remember there's going to be

909
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 2: a huge time difference here, like you're five six hours

910
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 2: six hours yeah ahead in Eastern Europe, So there are.

911
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 4: Limited times where this is even going to work.

912
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 2: If the kids are in school and then they're going

913
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 2: to bad at like eight o'clock at night like this,

914
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 2: you know, because that window when they are available is

915
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 2: ten pm to three am.

916
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 4: You know it's not going to work, right.

917
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 2: But that said, so, if he does decide and you

918
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 2: want to take it, that would be fine, but you

919
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 2: should not necessarily initiate it at a time that is

920
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 2: convenient for you and expect him to pick up and

921
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 2: make it happen.

922
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 4: All right. That sounds maybe a little bit harsh, but

923
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 4: uh no, that totally makes sense.

924
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 3: I can see that I haven't experienced this personally really

925
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 3: because I guess Josh to go to Germany once for

926
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,359
Speaker 3: a work trip, but generally, like this just isn't part

927
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 3: of our day to day reality. But maybe you could

928
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 3: meld the two by sending little videos where you talk

929
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 3: about the presence you're gonna bring home that he could

930
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 3: play at his leisure.

931
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,280
Speaker 4: That's true, And if.

932
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 2: He thinks it would be helpful to have the video

933
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 2: for mommy, awesome, if he thinks in any given moment

934
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:11,839
Speaker 2: that that would be the worst thing in the world

935
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 2: to have the video.

936
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,720
Speaker 3: For not care that just not show it right totally.

937
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 2: That would be a perfect way to get a mix

938
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: between this.

939
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can send notes.

940
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 2: If your six year old can read, then obviously you know,

941
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,399
Speaker 2: if he texts those through your husband they can read.

942
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 2: He can again show them to the six year old

943
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 2: at his convenience and you can have that communication that way.

944
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 2: And yeah, bringing home presence is a great idea. Love

945
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 2: it all right, Well, this has been best of both worlds.

946
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 2: Sarah has been interviewing Kate Strickler about how I.

947
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 4: Just wish I had a bigger kitchen.

948
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 2: We will be back next week with more on making

949
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 2: work in life fit together.

950
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

951
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 3: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram.

952
00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:01,399
Speaker 2: And you can find me Laura at Laura vander com.

953
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,720
Speaker 2: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please

954
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 2: join us next time for more on making work and

955
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 2: life work together.