WEBVTT - Betrayal Weekly: RE-RELEASE: Donielle Pt. 1 & Pt. 2 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.480 Hi, Betrayal listeners, It's Andrea Gunning. We're off this week 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.080 for Thanksgiving, but we'll be back next week with a 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:09.360 brand new story. This week, we wanted to re release 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:13.080 a listener favorite, Donielle's story. We originally released it in 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.240 two parts, but for this re release, we're combining both parts 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.400 for you so you can hear her full story all 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:22.000 at once. One thing we love about Donnielle's story is 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:25.320 the ending where she finds love again, and as you'll 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:28.319 hear in the episode, she and her new husband got 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:31.960 married at the Thanksgiving table. They said their vows between 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:36.360 dinner and dessert, surrounded by all of their family. We 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:38.680 will be back next week with a brand new episode, 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:41.839 and in the meantime for those celebrating happy Thanksgiving. We 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:45.279 are so grateful to all of you, our listeners. Thank 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.760 you for everything. So without further ado, here's Donnielle's story. 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:55.960 One of my children saw his dad dressed all in black, 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:59.080 and he said that it seemed like his dad was 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:01.680 mad at him because he yelled at him to go 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.640 back to bed, and the night before that he had 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:09.720 actually told my oldest child to rap a sledgehammer that 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:12.600 we had that had a really bright yellow handle in 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:16.400 black electric tape and find a black raincoat for him 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:16.960 to wear. 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:33.119 And she was like, Okay, Dad, I'm Anderrea gunning. And 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:36.119 this is Betrayal, a show about the people we trust 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:42.640 the most and the deceptions that change everything. One night 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:46.560 in twenty seventeen, Danielle Oliver Chauvet was awoken by the 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:49.880 FBI in state police. They were pointing guns at her, 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:54.120 demanding to know where her husband was. That night, she 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:57.120 learned the man she had spent twenty years with was 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:01.600 hiding some very big secrets. This is don Yelle's first 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:05.280 time telling her story. She's been reluctant to share what 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:08.280 she went through because, as you'll hear in part two, 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:12.520 her husband has other victims. She wants to be respectful 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.600 of their experience and suffering. But this episode isn't about 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:20.280 her husband's crimes. It's about the twenty year marriage Danielle 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:23.720 built with him, the ways he deceived and violated her, 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:28.239 and the shocking betrayal that ended it all. It's also 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:30.880 the story of being totally in the dark about your 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:32.040 partner's double life. 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:37.240 I used to watch Lifetime shows and I used to 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:39.720 be that person saying oh, she had to know something. 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.760 So I totally understand why people say things like that. 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:49.400 But until you are actually walking in those shoes and 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:53.440 living with a person who can be completely double faced, 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:59.120 living a completely separate life, all I know is the 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:02.239 life that he had with me and our kids. That's 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:05.480 all I saw. He was able to do everything else 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:07.400 completely separate. 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:17.519 Danielle grew up in a happy, tight knit family in California. 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:20.760 Family is very important to me. We were just over 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:22.919 in my parents, all of my siblings, and we all 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:26.919 just get along really well. There's hardly ever any arguments 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:29.800 within our family, and when there is, it's results within 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:30.160 the day. 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:34.440 Growing up, Donielle's parents were her role models. They had 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:38.040 a respectful and happy marriage. It was an environment that 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:40.680 nurtured her easy going and trusting nature. 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:44.200 I had a really good childhood, and so I didn't 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:47.840 grow up with a lot of strife or bad things 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.720 happening in my childhood where that trust was broken down. 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:55.520 She was raised with a strong sense of faith. That's 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.240 still one of her core values. 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:00.320 I know some religions could be like really strict, do this, 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:04.000 you can't do this. I wouldn't even say that. Mine 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:06.680 is a religion. It's a relationship with christ. 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.600 Donielle is one of those rare people who loved high school. 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.920 She was popular and she had a long time high 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:16.679 school boyfriend named Billy. 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:20.920 When we were teenagers. Everybody thought for sure that we 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:23.480 were just going to be together forever, you know, we 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:24.200 were the thing. 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:28.120 Right before their senior year of high school, Billy proposed 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:29.920 to her and she said yes. 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:34.239 But then I actually had to move to Hawaii because 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.720 my dad was working for a military and we moved there. 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:41.120 She ended up spending her senior year in Hawaii. Then 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.520 she got accepted to college in Illinois. She was ready 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:48.120 to start a new life there without her high school boyfriend. 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.360 Giving up her first love was hard, but she wanted 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:58.000 to prioritize her independence. Danielle thrived in college. She loved 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:00.880 her major, which was art, and she also loved going 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:05.120 to Bible study on campus. That's where she met Chad. 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.560 He was raising his hand and answering the questions, like 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:10.480 right away, and he was answering the way I would 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.960 have answered those questions, right in line with the way 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:13.520 I believed. 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:18.960 So I was attracted to that immediately. She knew Chad 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:19.640 was special. 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:23.039 The first time I met him, I said to my 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:24.520 parents when I got back that I was going to 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.320 marry him. So it was pretty much love at first sight. 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:31.800 She felt comfortable around Chad. It was easy, like they'd 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:33.360 known each other for years. 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.680 We actually met at my parents' house and watched a 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.760 couple movies and I made a maasagna and he changed 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:45.360 my oil in my car. That was our first date. 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.440 From the start, Danielle was serious about Chad. 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:52.200 When i'm getting someone that I'm deciding whether or not 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:54.440 this person is the person I want to marry. So 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:57.479 I was looking for specific things that I wanted in 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.599 a husband when I was dating him. 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:02.360 And Chad checked all the boxes. 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:05.920 There was lots of things. He grew up in a 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:09.680 Christian home. He had a good relationship with his parents. 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:14.000 He was business minded, like he was able to support me. 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:18.280 Everything about him felt right. He was pursuing a degree 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:21.640 in finance, He had dreams of starting his own business, 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:25.919 and like her, he also wanted a big family. But 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.160 most of all, she just loved being around him. 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.599 I had fun with him, you know, we would laugh 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:35.760 about lots of things. I was just attracted to the 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:36.960 way I felt around him. 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:40.000 While they were dating, he went above and beyond to 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:40.520 woo her. 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:42.960 Something about Chad, you have to know he likes to 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:46.559 do everything big. It always has to be the best 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:48.160 and the grandest and the most showy. 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:52.360 It's not who she is, but Chad said she deserved 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:57.000 the best and it was flattering. After about two years 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:00.680 of dating, he made a particularly grand gesture. He bought 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:04.520 her an expensive dress, rented a limousine, and took them 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:05.680 to a dinner theater. 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:09.600 And during that intermission he excused himself. I thought he 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.400 was going to use the restroom, but he actually turns 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:16.080 out had set up beforehand with the theater that he 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:19.320 would go on stage and asked me to marry him 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:22.360 from the stage. And then he got down on his knee. 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.480 And yeah, it was quite the show. 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.200 She said. Yes, he brought her out of her comfort 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:30.679 zone and it felt like a fairy tale. 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:34.120 I was one hundred percent this is the one I 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:35.480 had to spend the rest of my life with. 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.080 Chad was involved in every step of the wedding planning, 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.240 which Donielle loved, and he also wanted to go to 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.360 pre marriage counseling to discuss their expectations. 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:49.920 We discussed who would be the breadwinner in the home. 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:52.880 You know what would be the different roles of both 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.480 husband and wife as far as who did what in 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:59.640 the household. It was thoroughly discussed how our marriage would 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:01.920 go before we got married. I mean, as far as 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:05.080 you can. We did know that I wanted to be 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.400 a stay at home mom, so that was talked about. 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:11.400 Danielle had been managing her own money in her early twenties, 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:13.800 and although she was good at it, it was a 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:17.800 relief to be marrying someone who had expertise in finance. 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:21.640 It made her feel safe, and so they agreed that 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:25.480 while she would manage the household, Chad would manage the money. 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:28.960 And I had full trust in Chad to be able 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.720 to do that too, because of his business degree. He 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.559 was really good at money, and so he went to 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:38.440 school for it. I didn't have any worries about him 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:40.360 taking over the finances for the family. 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.880 She was happy with this arrangement. She's a do it 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:47.360 yourself kind of person. It's an attitude that's well suited 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:49.559 to raising kids and running the household. 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:53.840 My dishwasher broke down several years ago, and I wasn't 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:55.960 about to pay somebody because I'm going to figure out 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:58.040 how to fix it. I laid all the flooring in 0:08:58.080 --> 0:08:59.480 the house that I'm in right now. I didn't know 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:01.600 how to do that, but I looked it up, just 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:05.960 went on YouTube and figured it out. So I'm that 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:06.640 type of person. 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.320 After they got married, the couple decided to move to 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.560 Chad's hometown in Illinois. To call it a small town 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:17.800 is an understatement. The entire population could fit in one 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:19.960 high school football stadium. 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:24.240 Well, the town we live in, Erie is only nineteen hundred. 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:28.680 It's small, small, but perfectly suited to the life that 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:33.880 they were building, a life that centered around family and community. Plus, 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.800 Chad had grown up there, so he knew nearly everyone 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:41.080 in town, and everyone seemed to adore him. In fact, 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:45.440 he'd been the high school valedictorian. Once they moved back 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:49.400 to Erie, the couple also joined Chad's church, the church 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:50.440 he grew up in. 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.560 We were really involved with that church, and his parents 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:55.680 went to that church too, and we led a Sunday 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:57.679 school together. A couple, their. 0:09:57.520 --> 0:10:00.640 Life was falling into place. A happy ma marriage, a 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:05.600 strong foundation based on shared values, a community that supported them, 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:09.480 and a church they felt welcomed by. And Chad was 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:13.280 making progress in his career. He began the certification process 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.560 to become a financial advisor. He wanted to start his 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:17.040 own firm. 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:22.520 He did it all online. I went through classes online 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:24.920 and got his certificate online and all that. 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:28.439 She was proud of him, and for the time being, 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:29.960 she kept working too. 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:33.280 I also worked for the post office for a little bit, 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:37.080 but that was not part of our marriage plan. I 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:39.360 didn't want to be a working mom. I wanted to 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:42.120 be a stay at home mom. Pretty much as soon 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:43.920 as we got married, we started trying. 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:48.040 But conceiving their first baby didn't happen as quickly as 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:52.600 Danielle hoped. The months turned into a year, and during 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:55.640 that year, Chad made a shocking confession. 0:10:56.720 --> 0:11:00.680 He came home from work and sat down and said, 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:04.960 I need to tell you something really important and just said, 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.240 I had an accounter with a guy in the bathroom, 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:09.760 and I think we need to go see somebody and 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:12.400 talk to like a counselor about it. And so I 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:18.200 was just like, what is going on? It just blindsided me, 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:19.760 Like what just happened. 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.800 She asked him point blank if he was gay. He 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:26.960 said no, he wasn't. She wanted more details about what 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:30.600 actually happened, who it was with, and what they did. 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:34.760 But he never really gave a straight answer. It was 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:37.160 just we need to go talk to somebody, like a 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:38.079 counselor about it. 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:54.680 Danielle was shaken and confused about her husband's confession to 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:58.120 a one time playing, but at the same time, Ched 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:02.560 was doing everything he could to make it right. He 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:06.040 confessed to it immediately, he wanted to get help, and 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:09.840 most importantly, he was coming to her with sincere remorse. 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:14.640 He was crying, I was crying. He was saying sorry. 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.680 Chad wanted to get help quickly, and so the next 0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:19.720 day they did. 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.600 We actually went to the pastor and asked for advice 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:26.480 about who we should see as a marriage counselor for us. 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:29.840 We were given a name of a Christian counselor. 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:34.319 They had multiple sessions with the counselor, some sessions together 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:37.920 as a couple and some separately. During a one on 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:41.600 one meeting, the counselor gave Danielle some advice. 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:48.240 He advised me, you should really think carefully about this marriage. 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.040 You know, you actually have a right to end this 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.920 marriage if he is being unfaithful to you. 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:58.079 The counselor said he'd seen a situation like this before, 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.800 and he wanted Donielle to know that divorce was an option. 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:05.920 I understood that. I knew that that's something that it's 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.960 perfectly fine for me to file for a divorce, But 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.800 I didn't want to. I wanted to make this marriage work. 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.160 I didn't even want the word divorce to come up 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.240 in our marriage. Like when I made a commitment in 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:23.600 our marriage at the wedding ceremony, my promise was a promise. 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:27.760 I didn't take my vowels lightly in sickness and in 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:31.240 health a richard for poorr. I was going to walk 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:34.400 through it with him. I wanted to help him resolve 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:37.120 whatever it was that he was going through because I 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.280 loved him and I wanted our marriage to work. 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:45.080 This one infidelity, it felt small and manageable, especially compared 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:48.600 to the years they'd spend together getting to know each other, 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:53.520 studying the Bible together, and building a life. She really 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:54.600 trusted Chad. 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:59.040 I felt like I could one trust him even though 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:02.520 he had done whatever he had done. I believe him 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:03.240 one percent. 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:08.160 They got a work book on overcoming infidelity and even 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.400 did the homework together, and they decided to lean on 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:15.720 their faith to help them rebuild their relationship. Church became 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.640 an even bigger part of their lives. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:22.200 He was an elder in the church. We jointly were 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:27.080 leaders for kids Christian camps. We were very involved in 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:27.600 our faith. 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:31.920 Their marriage began looking up, especially when a year later 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:35.520 they welcomed their first baby, a baby girl. 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:41.480 She was an amazing first child, super easy baby, smiling 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:45.960 all the time, happy, alert. It was a great, great 0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:48.160 first mom experience. 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.920 Danielle was on top of the world, so filled with 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:56.080 love for her first daughter and her young family. It 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.600 confirmed to her that she really did want to be 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:01.840 a stay at home mom. She just felt whole. 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:05.720 People that we would meet walking through a mall always 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:09.120 stop and say, Oh, you have the cutest baby. She's 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.960 the cutest thing I've ever seen, and your family is 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:12.960 so cute. 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.920 The difficulties she and Chad faced in the first year 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.120 of marriage started to feel like they were in the 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:19.040 rear view mirror. 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:24.080 At that point, I felt totally in love with him 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:28.000 and close to him. I felt like I had the 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:29.600 perfect life. 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.280 That baby would be the first of six. 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:35.800 I knew that you could get pregnant even when you 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:39.720 were still nursing, and before you had your first cycle 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.280 after pregnancy. I didn't think it was going to happen 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:43.360 to me, but it did. 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:48.720 Soon Donielle's life became consumed by full time childcare. As 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:52.000 their kids got older, she started homeschooling them, and she 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:53.360 loved every minute of it. 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:55.760 I wouldn't have it any other way. And a lot 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:57.960 of people are like, wow, six kids, that's a lot, 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.640 but you know, each one of them is unique and 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:06.000 has their own personality. Each of them is just amazing. 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.560 I love it. I absolutely love it. 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:14.080 With a growing family came more financial demands, but luckily 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.040 Chad's business was taking off. They even had the ability 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:19.280 to upgrade their house. 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:22.440 He had been starting to look at this property that 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:25.680 he really wanted. It was a huge house, way bigger 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:29.200 than we needed. Enormous, huge living room, huge family, a 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:32.680 huge dining room, huge huge master bedroom, you know, basement 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.400 that looked like a bowling alley, And so he started 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:39.800 looking at it and dreaming about it and eventually decided 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:41.520 that he was going to try to purchase it. 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.160 Danielle didn't think it was the most practical choice, but 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:48.520 the house made him happy. After they moved in, he 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:51.080 tried to tell her how to run the house, but 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:55.480 she stood her ground. She trusted him to handle the finances, 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.600 so when it came to the housework, he needed to 0:16:58.640 --> 0:16:59.240 trust her. 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.200 He wanted me to do things a certain way, like 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.800 do laundry on a certain day, do the dishes on 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:08.760 a certain day, or you know, do dusting on a 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.720 certain day. And I was like, no, I will do 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:13.800 it when it needs to be done. When I see 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.119 that it needs doing, I'll do it, you know. 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.280 And there were a lot of things that needed dusting. 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:25.920 Chad was a collector. It was a quirk that Danielle accepted. 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:29.840 Precious Moments, figurines, and he was very much in a 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:35.160 Hallmark fan, so he had millions of Hallmark ornaments, tons 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:39.600 of DVDs. I mean we had two huge walls full 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:40.520 of DVDs. 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:44.720 They loved watching movies as a family, and after the 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:48.040 kids went to bed, the couple would watch their favorite TV. 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.640 Shows, Dexter and Breaking Bad. 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:57.520 Every summer, Danielle, Chad and their six kids would take 0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:59.040 family road trips. 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:06.399 Stone the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore. We had all the 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:10.240 tourist places in the United States, so we had a 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:12.959 lot of really fun times as family. 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:17.520 On these trips, they'd stay in huge rental homes. Chad 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.840 always wanted the best of the best for the family, and. 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:25.480 They were very nice, very nice rented houses. Some of them. 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:29.240 I was like, okay, guys, don't touch anything, you know, 0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:34.200 like expensive paintings on the walls and glass decorations. 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.840 One summer, about fifteen years into their marriage, the family 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:40.920 was on one of their regular road trips, and on 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:45.360 this trip, their rental home was in a remote area. 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:49.919 I woke up around tween in the morning. I know, 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:52.120 it was the middle of the night. All the kids 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:55.159 were asleep, and I got up to go to the 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.639 bathroom or something and turned over and he was not 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.720 in bed with me. I looked around the house to 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:05.840 see if he was just up somewhere. He was not there. 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:10.000 I went out into the garage area. The car was gone, 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:14.840 so I started being like, where did he go? There 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:17.280 was no note as far as he left somewhere. He 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:21.360 didn't leave a message on my phone. He was just gone. 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:24.240 It was the early two thousands, so she didn't have 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.359 a smartphone to look at his location. She started to 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.200 worry that something terrible happened. 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:33.600 So I started calling around to the hospital around the 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:39.000 area and is there any child skipper admitted into this hospital. No, ma'am, 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:40.960 thank you, call the next hospital. 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:45.760 Around three am, the phone rang. It was Chat. 0:19:47.119 --> 0:19:50.560 And he said he was at Walmart. And I was like, okay, 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:53.480 why are you at Walmart? I just thought I would 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:57.160 pick up some stuff. But you know, you can kind 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:59.720 of tell when somebody's calling from the middle of a store. 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:05.040 Hear the hum of everything. There was no shopping cart sounds, 0:20:05.280 --> 0:20:08.280 no like cashier beeping and stuff. There was none of that. 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:12.880 It did not sound like he was in a shopping area. 0:20:15.880 --> 0:20:18.840 I hung up the phone and just was like, how 0:20:18.920 --> 0:20:21.840 what is happening. I don't understand. Says he's are in Walmart, 0:20:21.840 --> 0:20:25.119 that it's hours away. That doesn't make any sense. And 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:28.000 I just sat in confusion, shaking until he got home. 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:31.840 When Chad got back, he tried to explain it away, 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:33.400 and he apologized. 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:35.080 He said, I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:38.600 was going. You know, everything's fine, You're good, the kids 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:44.800 are good. I'm back, We're safe. He blew it over. 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:48.920 Whenever they got in a disagreement, this is what he'd 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:49.360 tell her. 0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:53.920 His favorite phrase was, don't make a mountain out of 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.720 a mole hill. You know, you just get really emotional 0:20:56.760 --> 0:21:02.320 about things. It's okay, you know, calm down. 0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.800 Always made me feel like I was crazy abandoning the 0:21:05.840 --> 0:21:08.119 family in a rental house in the middle of the 0:21:08.240 --> 0:21:11.880 night with no good explanation. It just didn't sit right 0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:14.080 with her, So Donielle called her mom. 0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:16.840 She was like, oh, wow, yeah, that is really weird. 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:19.080 I'm glad you're okay. You know, I'm glad it all 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:20.679 worked out, but that is really weird. 0:21:21.800 --> 0:21:25.480 Donielle was the full time caretaker for six children under fifteen. 0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:28.560 She didn't have the energy to fight with her husband. 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:32.280 I didn't confront him. That's one of my personality quirks 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:37.159 is I don't like confrontation. I would rather just not 0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:40.560 talk about it than have a huge argument about something, 0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:45.520 which is not healthy. I think it's much healthier to 0:21:45.560 --> 0:21:51.240 communicate and work it out. But at that point, I 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:53.000 just didn't want to deal with it. 0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:57.440 Plus, whenever she did question him, it always ended up 0:21:57.480 --> 0:21:58.480 coming back on her. 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:02.520 On the rare occasion when I would ask questions, I 0:22:02.520 --> 0:22:06.120 would be shut down and told I was crazy or 0:22:06.840 --> 0:22:10.600 that is totally not how it went. You have blown 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:14.040 this out of proportion and you don't remember the actual 0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:17.280 fact that actually happened. This is how it actually happened. 0:22:34.640 --> 0:22:37.280 When Donielle woke up on a family vacation to find 0:22:37.320 --> 0:22:40.000 her husband missing. He said he was picking up something 0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:42.920 for work at a Walmart in the middle of the night. 0:22:43.640 --> 0:22:47.520 She didn't quite buy the story, but she knew Chad 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:52.000 was busier than ever growing his financial advising firm. Around 0:22:52.000 --> 0:22:54.800 the same time, he decided to start making passive income 0:22:55.200 --> 0:22:58.760 by buying rental properties in town. It started with one 0:22:58.880 --> 0:23:03.560 small house, too, then an apartment building in their hometown. 0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:06.560 He was so busy that he often worked from home 0:23:06.600 --> 0:23:10.280 at nights. He renovated their basement to become his home office. 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:13.840 He even put in a king sized bed. 0:23:14.520 --> 0:23:16.280