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Speaker 1: This is John, this is og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 2: We have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 1: got a quick tune in an ad break from a

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Speaker 1: sponsors keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 2: My ex chose his friends over me. Now he wants

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Speaker 2: to come back, too little, too late. I twenty one female,

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Speaker 2: was dating James twenty three male, fake name for three

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Speaker 2: years to go. I want to start by saying I'm

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Speaker 2: shy and a super quiet person to be with. Even

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Speaker 2: with him, I always had a hard time to talk

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Speaker 2: and speak about my days or whatever was happening in

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Speaker 2: my life without getting nervous speaking about it. James, on

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Speaker 2: the other hand, is a social butterfly. He's talkative, has

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Speaker 2: a large group of friends, and can even make conversations

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Speaker 2: in seconds with people that he knows on the streets.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from empty Teer twenty five

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Speaker 2: thirty four and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime sepreddit and Opie

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Speaker 2: says long story short. He will usually drag me to

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Speaker 2: his friend's party social hangouts so I could be friends

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Speaker 2: with his friends but it never worked out. Most of

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Speaker 2: his friends will not let me speak or talk without

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Speaker 2: getting bored, so they would just move me to the side.

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Speaker 2: I had brought this up to James, but he brushed

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Speaker 2: it off as they're just not patient like that, or

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Speaker 2: they don't mean to be rude. But I personally don't

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Speaker 2: like that, so I'm not like a toxic girlfriend or anything.

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Speaker 2: I never looked at his phone to check if he's

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Speaker 2: cheating or anything, but I was so insecure. How a

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Speaker 2: lot of his girlfriends will hit on him in front

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Speaker 2: of me without any reason whatsoever. Rude, Yeah, that's that's uh.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to be an insecure, crazy girlfriend be

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Speaker 2: upset about that, But I digress. The day of our

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Speaker 2: breakup happened on a party with his friends, and again

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Speaker 2: I tried my best to socialize with his friends, but

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Speaker 2: there was no use. What happened is that I told

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Speaker 2: James that I was going to go get some more

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Speaker 2: snacks for the party, and that's when out of nowhere,

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Speaker 2: he just snapped to me, saying, see, you're just finding

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Speaker 2: an excuse to leave the party. That's what my friends

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Speaker 2: don't like you. That's not nice in front of all

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Speaker 2: the friends so nice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, girl, love, you guys just are not rh for

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Speaker 3: each other.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad that you guys broke up. That y yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was speechless. So I told him that I wasn't leaving,

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Speaker 2: I was just getting snacks, and that's when he dropped

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Speaker 2: the bomb and so that he's done with me and

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Speaker 2: to never contact him again, out and clear for the

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Speaker 2: entire room of people to hear. Okay, that's that's not okay.

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Speaker 2: And then wait, and then his friends started cheering like

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Speaker 2: they just punted out a rude friend or something.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's not okay. That's just super immature.

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Speaker 3: That's so messed up. I don't think that you guys

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Speaker 3: are right for each other, and I think it's good

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Speaker 3: that you broke up, but also that's totally not the

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Speaker 3: way to break up, and breakup should be, like, let's

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Speaker 3: do this in private, respectfully.

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Speaker 2: Right, Because then the fact that all the friends were

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Speaker 2: cheering means that they were at asolutely crap talking her

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Speaker 2: behind and the boyfriend was one hundred percent involved in

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Speaker 2: that cloud talking. So yikes, dude, I wanted to cry

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Speaker 2: so bad, so I left, and good thing I had

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Speaker 2: in my car with me because on the way back home.

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Speaker 2: I bawled my eyes out like I've never cried in

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Speaker 2: my life. I blocked him everywhere and his friends. I

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Speaker 2: felt so humiliated by the fact that he didn't even

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Speaker 2: decide to have a decent conversation alone without anyone hearing

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Speaker 2: us speak. Or I don't know, just I just felt

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Speaker 2: horrible about how his friends started cheering him for breaking

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Speaker 2: up with me like that. But fast forward to today.

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Speaker 2: This is like three years later now day. I had

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Speaker 2: already moved on and was doing great when I got

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Speaker 2: a long text message from a random number that had

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Speaker 2: the same area code from my town. It was James Thought.

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Speaker 2: He started the message with how he's been doing in

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Speaker 2: his life and YadA, YadA, YadA. Then he said that

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Speaker 2: he had been in three relationships after our breakup, okay,

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Speaker 2: and he said that he didn't feel the same when

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Speaker 2: he was with me. All the girls he dated either

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Speaker 2: cheated on him or were too toxic, and so he

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Speaker 2: reached out to see if we can start again and

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Speaker 2: give him another chance to be together.

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Speaker 3: Wild whyld, maybe you should go ask your friends?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. You guys are not right

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Speaker 2: for each other, not right for each other.

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Speaker 4: Not at all.

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Speaker 2: I was stunned. This man, after he humiliated me in

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Speaker 2: front of his so called friends, wanted a second chance

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Speaker 2: because I was the only girl who didn't complain about

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Speaker 2: his life and whatnot. I was angry. I told him

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Speaker 2: that I don't think it was a good idea to

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Speaker 2: try a relationship again because we were not even compatible

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Speaker 2: to begin with. And then I was sorry, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 2: and that I was sorry for all the relationships that

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Speaker 2: he had through the years that didn't work as expected.

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Speaker 2: But I just couldn't trust him or I don't even

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Speaker 2: think that I could fall in love with him again.

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Speaker 2: This man didn't even apologize to begin with. So after

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Speaker 2: I sent the message, I blocked the number and went

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Speaker 2: on my day. Now I'm getting angry messages from his

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Speaker 2: friends calling me the a hole and a salute for

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Speaker 2: not giving him a chance, and even to the point

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Speaker 2: to bombard my phone with calls every single day. So

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Speaker 2: reddit's am I the a hole for refusing to give

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Speaker 2: him a second chance? I just don't know what else

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Speaker 2: to do. And of course we think no, definitely.

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Speaker 3: Not oh, but definitely date people that you're more compatible

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Speaker 3: with in the future exactly.

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Speaker 2: But we do have some comments Commentary number one says,

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Speaker 2: absolutely effing not. He sounds like a bell nd think

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Speaker 2: about how the future looks. Even if you did give

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Speaker 2: him a second chance. You can't trust him. His friends

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Speaker 2: sound like a holes, and he doesn't understand you as

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Speaker 2: a person whatsoever. He didn't even have the common decency

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Speaker 2: to have a one to one conversation with you and

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Speaker 2: totally embarrassed you at the party you had nobody. He's

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Speaker 2: been left over since you broke up and realized which

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Speaker 2: side he likes his bread buttered well too late, Sunshine,

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Speaker 2: tell him to swivel. Commentary number two says, send him

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Speaker 2: screenshots of the text messages and let him know that

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Speaker 2: this is one of the reasons why you will never

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Speaker 2: get back with him. Additionally, let him know that if

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Speaker 2: his friends continue with the pestermint, you will take legal

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Speaker 2: action against them. Yeah, I mean you could do that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you can also just block them all

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Speaker 2: block them. I feel like you don't need to bother

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Speaker 2: block them, block eye though, because they don't care. If

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Speaker 2: they think that rejecting someone makes you a salute, then

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Speaker 2: they're not gonna get that. That text is why you

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Speaker 2: don't want to be together exactly so, yeah, don't bother

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Speaker 2: coverentre number three says you're not the A hole. He's

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Speaker 2: using those same friends who made you feel humiliated and

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Speaker 2: embarrassed to try to force you to give him a

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Speaker 2: second chance. Stand your ground. You're more than in the right.

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Speaker 2: You don't deserve to be treated like that. He sounds

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Speaker 2: toxic and immature using others to pressure you. You were

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Speaker 2: nice about how you didn't want to give it a

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Speaker 2: second try, and he should understand and respect that, not

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Speaker 2: use others to scare you. Yeah, he also is probably

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Speaker 2: lying about who was and who was toxic in those

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Speaker 2: other relationships. Oh so bake time. But we do have

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Speaker 2: an update. So I decided to take your advice and

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Speaker 2: screenshoted all the messages that James' friends had sent to

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Speaker 2: me throughout the week about me being the a whole,

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Speaker 2: And afterwards I unblocked James and sent all the screenshots

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Speaker 2: to him. Okay, I mean, if you want to, you

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Speaker 2: can sure you won't believe it, But this man finally

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Speaker 2: decided to believe me and apologized about his friend's behavior

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Speaker 2: and how he didn't want this to go as far

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Speaker 2: as it got. Uh, So I've told him that This

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Speaker 2: is one of the many reasons why I can't give

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Speaker 2: him another chance because of the behavior of his friends.

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Speaker 2: They were unbelievable and it just throws me off. How

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Speaker 2: I'm the youngest of the friend group who knows how

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Speaker 2: to act like an adult. I also dropped the bob

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Speaker 2: on him that I'm seeing someone just talking stage, nothing

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Speaker 2: serious just yet, but that they're making their sweet time

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Speaker 2: to know me as a person, and that's why I

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Speaker 2: won't let him have another chance, because I'm not going

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Speaker 2: for old scraps. He apologized again and even also said

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Speaker 2: that he just wanted to keep in contact with me

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Speaker 2: because he thinks that he owes it to me for

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Speaker 2: all the trouble that he caused. See. I hate that

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Speaker 2: mindset too.

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Speaker 3: I hate the idea, yeah, that you're doing your ex

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Speaker 3: a favor, Yeah, by keeping in contact with them leave

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Speaker 3: them alone exactly. It's not like I don't care if

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Speaker 3: you feel guilty about how you try to.

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Speaker 2: Leave her alone. I'm so sorry it cost you so

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Speaker 2: much trouble. Let me never leave your side and then

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Speaker 2: it'll be fixed.

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Speaker 3: It's also just so like pompous and like condescending to

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Speaker 3: be like, well, I better give her the joy of

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Speaker 3: my presence because I hurt her and she's probably still

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Speaker 3: not over it three years.

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Speaker 2: Really, it's like, just you don't just leave her alone.

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Speaker 2: Leave her alone, you know, because we know that it's

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Speaker 2: nothing about Ope. Like he was sending those text ussages

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Speaker 2: just to brag about all the women.

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Speaker 3: He stated, I've dated three women and none of them

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Speaker 3: were like you, Yeah, I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that, So I don't know what even

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Speaker 2: by that. By the time I wanted to finish the conversation,

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Speaker 2: he told me that during our time together he had

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Speaker 2: cheated with one of his girlfriends. Yep, oh wait, during

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Speaker 2: the time that we were together, he cheated. He cheated

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Speaker 2: on OPE with one of his girlfriends that were always

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Speaker 2: hitting on him. Oh he really sucked, dude. This is so.

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, uh, like after he told me that,

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, okay, bye block.

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Speaker 2: Yeah what block? So that also explains why he broke

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Speaker 2: up with me that time, because he was sneaking around

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Speaker 2: the stupid blonde sorority girl because she was better than me.

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Speaker 2: Something like that. Saw it coming, Not gonna lie, but

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Speaker 2: for some reason it did hurt. Now, even though it's

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Speaker 2: been a while, he said that he wanted some closure

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Speaker 2: and telling me this was the end of it. That's

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Speaker 2: the thing.

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Speaker 3: It's for selfish reasons, absolutely, not because he like cares

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Speaker 3: about you or anything. It's because he feels bad and

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Speaker 3: he needs needs to get it off his chest.

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Speaker 2: I don't even think that, like, well, I mean maybe,

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Speaker 2: but I honestly think that he's just trying to do

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Speaker 2: it to like brag and to kind of hurt Op

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Speaker 2: in some sort of way, like if he's feeling it

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Speaker 2: rejected and he's all like, oh my gosh, Like yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's like, well, yeah, like I just thought you should

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Speaker 2: know just because I'm doing the right thing, that you

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Speaker 2: should know that I like did this to hurt you

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Speaker 2: even more because of course, even though it's been three years,

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Speaker 2: that crap still hurts. Oh yeah, absolutely absolutely. So that's

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Speaker 2: that's so messed up with him. I blocked him again.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, and now my phone is finally back to

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Speaker 2: being silent since I stopped getting calls and messages. Even

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Speaker 2: his mom texted me saying sorry for his son's behavior.

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Speaker 2: So that's that. I want to appreciate those who convinced

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Speaker 2: me not to give him another chance. I'm too much

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Speaker 2: of a people pleaser, and I just couldn't handle the

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Speaker 2: stress that I was in the wrong. Thank you all

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Speaker 2: of you. There are some final comments. Comment number one says,

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Speaker 2: good for you. You stood up for yourself and he

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Speaker 2: and let him know that he is basically scum. He

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Speaker 2: was right. He will never find anyone as wonderful as you.

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Speaker 2: Sucks to be him. Another commenter says he apologized again

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Speaker 2: and even also said that he just wanted to keep

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Speaker 2: in contact with me with you because he thinks he

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Speaker 2: owes it to you for all the trouble you caused.

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Speaker 2: Another commentary responds to Opie, saying he apologized again and

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Speaker 2: even also said that he just wants to keep in

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Speaker 2: contact with me because he thinks he owes it to

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Speaker 2: me for all the trouble he caused. The comment says

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Speaker 2: pretty sure that what he means is that he figures

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Speaker 2: he'll be able to get in your pants later, and

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Speaker 2: op he says, honestly, that's what I'm thinking, But as

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Speaker 2: of right now he's blocked everywhere. So now hopefully I

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Speaker 2: don't find him in the streets.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully hopefully, Yeah, I dream, I ask you, absolutely, like,

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Speaker 3: definitely that's what he meant by that.

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Speaker 2: I to seem like a good person by doing this

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Speaker 2: and that, but not He's like try, he's reaching so

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Speaker 2: hard for reasons to like be a good person. Like

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Speaker 2: he knows he's he's just a bad person, but he

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Speaker 2: also knows that he's not going to change that. So

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Speaker 2: exactly tell us the same friends, Good riddance, dude.

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Speaker 4: I resent my boyfriend because he lives the life I

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Speaker 4: dream of.

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Speaker 2: Ah, jealousy is a plague to us all.

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Speaker 4: I twenty three female, have been with my boyfriend twenty

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Speaker 4: seven male for the past year. He moved in with

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Speaker 4: me early into our relationship because he was losing the

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Speaker 4: place he was staying at. It was temporary from the beginning.

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Speaker 4: He just didn't plan anything that doesn't sound good, and

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Speaker 4: I offered him a place to stay. He moved several

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Speaker 4: states away to move in, only really giving up his

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Speaker 4: job as he wasn't close with his family. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this custom user star Oka seventy five, twenty eight and

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Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime suppered. So Opie says, I

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Speaker 4: accepted in the beginning that he wasn't going to be working.

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Speaker 4: You stayed and everything so I told him I was

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Speaker 4: fine covering bills since I earned good money, nothing significant.

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Speaker 4: I've been a blue collar worker for three years now,

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Speaker 4: so it's enough to pay the bills. I used to

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Speaker 4: earn enough to set back fun funds to spend doing

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Speaker 4: various things like tattoos, expensive food, bulk crafting stuff, fun

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Speaker 4: cons and et cetera. Ope, he sounds fun.

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Speaker 2: I've just I've just saved all this money to con people.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like you're who are you conning? But they do

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Speaker 4: fun stuff right right?

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Speaker 2: Conventions?

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Speaker 3: Yes.

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Speaker 4: I bought him a car when he moved so he

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Speaker 4: would have transportation to and from work, and told him

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Speaker 4: this car was a beater, so it wasn't a brand

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Speaker 4: new car. I got it for cheap and it wouldn't

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Speaker 4: last forever. I admit it was a crappy car, like

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't even drive it, But at the same time,

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Speaker 4: he got it for completely free and I had to

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Speaker 4: pay out of my savings. I don't mind my job.

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Speaker 4: It's not something I have dreamed about like other people

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Speaker 4: and their careers, but it is something that I had

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Speaker 4: to pick up because my dad made me feel unwelcome

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Speaker 4: in his house to the point that I just left

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Speaker 4: This kind of work helped me find an escape, a

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Speaker 4: way I could pay for my own things and living space,

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Speaker 4: so I just ran with it. I've mentioned wanting to

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Speaker 4: go back to college numerous times over the past few

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Speaker 4: years so I can get a degree in something I'll

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Speaker 4: find intriguing. It is possible for me to work part

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Speaker 4: time and still attend college. My dad has offered to

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Speaker 4: help with the rent, but without my boyfriend working, it

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Speaker 4: won't ever be a possibility, as a groceries and other

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Speaker 4: bills completely drain my paychecks I get now. Working forty

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Speaker 4: plus hours a week. Working in the industry I do

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Speaker 4: has made me realize I can use my intelligence in

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Speaker 4: an area that has more meaning to it than what

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Speaker 4: I do. At the end of the day, it's what

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Speaker 4: keeps a roof over my head and food in my

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Speaker 4: cat's belly. So I can't complain that's fair good, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: at the end of the day, sometimes we don't love

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Speaker 4: the jobs that we have, but as long as it

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Speaker 4: pays the bills and keeps you afloat. Yeah, The issue

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Speaker 4: you is with my boyfriend's employment. From what I know

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Speaker 4: from before he moved, he had a warehouse job earning

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Speaker 4: a couple less per hour than me. I didn't know

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Speaker 4: how long he had been there and assumed it had

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Speaker 4: been a little bit. I kind of expected him to

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Speaker 4: find the same kind of work here, but he didn't.

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Speaker 4: He has not been able to stay anywhere for longer

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Speaker 4: than two months, and that's being generous, not to mention

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Speaker 4: he's only worked at four different places in the past year,

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Speaker 4: all of which he either quit randomly or he got

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Speaker 4: fired at some point. Yeah, I'm sorry, Like that's red

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Speaker 4: flag after red flag.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like being in a relationship with someone,

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Speaker 2: especially when you're moving in together, finances are very important

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Speaker 2: to make sure that your other person has like a

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Speaker 2: good handle of their finances or are open to you

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Speaker 2: helping them with figuring out their finances. Like that's that's uh,

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Speaker 2: that's something.

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Speaker 4: You need a decent head on their shoulders. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: it looks like at the it's getting to the point

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Speaker 4: where you're just paying for him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he seems pretty comfortable with that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. At some point he started calling out a lot

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Speaker 4: when he did have a job, and it was like

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Speaker 4: pulling teeth to get him to go, causing him to

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Speaker 4: be late, which I'm assuming contributed to his release or

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Speaker 4: getting fired. His reasoning for quitting he didn't like the

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Speaker 4: jobs he had. Oh my gosh, at that point, I'd

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Speaker 4: be like, shut up, you had them. Either you you

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Speaker 4: keep working and you pay some at least a percentage here,

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Speaker 4: or you're you're back out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Like, I get not liking your job and wanting

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Speaker 2: to find a new one, but you have to have

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Speaker 2: something going at that some time, you know what I mean. Like,

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Speaker 2: you can't just take breaks in between jobs because you,

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Speaker 2: like I just didn't vibe with it.

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Speaker 4: This isn't a free ticket a free ride, my guy. Right,

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Speaker 4: in my personal opinion, it doesn't matter if you don't

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Speaker 4: like the job. You have bills to pay, mouse to feed,

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Speaker 4: so you earn what you can so you can get

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Speaker 4: stuff done. Then go. Like we said exactly a few

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Speaker 4: months ago, when he was in between jobs, I came

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Speaker 4: home from work one morning was a night and couldn't

348
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Speaker 4: handle the weight of everything anymore, and I broke down crying.

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Speaker 4: It was quiet, but he was already awake. He stayed

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Speaker 4: up all night and comforted me, asking what was wrong, babe?

351
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Speaker 4: What's wrong? You're working so hard? Maybe you should relax.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should like quit your job if you don't

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Speaker 2: like it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I told him that I always dreamed of being

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Speaker 4: a stay at home mom, even if that meant I

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Speaker 4: had to have a job when the children didn't need me.

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Speaker 4: I know it's unrealistic and traditional, but cooking, cleaning, childcare

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Speaker 4: sounds a lot more fulfilling than a job could ever be.

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Speaker 4: My stepdad passed away a few years ago, and I

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Speaker 4: got a taste of that when I stepped up and

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Speaker 4: took care of my younger siblings. And no, that's what

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Speaker 4: I want for my future. I told him that he

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Speaker 4: had not even attempted to take my place as the breadwinner,

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Speaker 4: and I was really upset that it felt like I

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Speaker 4: wasn't going to have a future the one that I

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Speaker 4: want for myself and my future kids. He seemed to

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Speaker 4: understand and reassured me about the different jobs he had

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Speaker 4: been applying to. For the majority of the time, my

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Speaker 4: boyfriend stays home and does nothing but play video games.

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Speaker 4: He used to stay up all night, claiming it was

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Speaker 4: to see me when I get home, but that's slowly

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Speaker 4: started to turn him into falling asleep right before I

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Speaker 4: get home. We have divided up house chores to a

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Speaker 4: small degree. He takes the trash out and washes the dishes.

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Speaker 4: I say here of the laundry, yardwork, general cleaning, and cooking.

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Speaker 4: There have been times where I had to wash dishes

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Speaker 4: just to cook dinner. And there have also been times

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Speaker 4: that I gave up on cooking because guess what, the

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Speaker 4: dishes were dirty.

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Speaker 2: He didn't do his job.

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Speaker 4: Wow, sounds like you don't have a boyfriend. Sounds like

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Speaker 4: you have a teenager.

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Speaker 2: It really does sound like it.

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Speaker 4: Mmm. I also have to choose when I want to

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Speaker 4: clean based on how full the trash can is. As

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Speaker 4: it is overflowing full ninety percent of the time, I

387
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Speaker 4: just assume he does the same thing as me and

388
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Speaker 4: stops picking up after the trash can gets full. My

389
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Speaker 4: more intense emotional turmoil has happened more recently. A week

390
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 4: or two ago, he talked about how he didn't like

391
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Speaker 4: the job he had and was applying to different places.

392
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Speaker 4: I got nervous and told him I'm glad he found options,

393
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Speaker 4: but I would rather if he kept working until he

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Speaker 4: got accepted somewhere else. A few days after he said that,

395
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Speaker 4: he called me as I was about to sleep for

396
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Speaker 4: work and said they had let him go and he

397
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,920
Speaker 4: didn't stay to reason. This honestly made me lose all

398
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Speaker 4: hope in him having a stable job. He got a

399
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Speaker 4: call back a few days ago and said he had

400
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Speaker 4: been accepted into the stay at home job where he

401
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 4: wouldn't really have to do much. I see where this

402
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 4: is going. He's earning the same amount as he was before,

403
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 4: so it's not a big money thing. But he has

404
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 4: to wait a whole month before he gets his first paycheck.

405
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Speaker 4: He told me the first thing he was going to

406
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Speaker 4: do is buy a car. No surprise. The one I

407
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 4: bought him crapped the bed two months ago and he's

408
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 4: been driving my dad's car and a gaming PC. Then

409
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 4: he would help me with reent. I would put my

410
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Speaker 4: foot down and be like, no, no, no, no, no, no,

411
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Speaker 4: no no no no. Stable first. You can buy your

412
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Speaker 4: things later.

413
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Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, when they come when he's not even paying rent, Like, yeah, definitely,

414
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Speaker 2: wait till you get your fun things, because like, that's

415
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Speaker 2: just logic.

416
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Speaker 4: Your priorities are way out of align my guy.

417
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Him saying that kind of shattered my heart because I've

419
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Speaker 4: been expressing that I want a new PC since what

420
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,200
Speaker 4: I'm using now I've had since I was thirteen. Maybe

421
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,680
Speaker 4: even younger. I've talked to him since he moved out

422
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 4: here that I wanted to save it for a PC,

423
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,959
Speaker 4: but I haven't been able to since I haven't been

424
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 4: able to put anything into savings. Since he moved in,

425
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 4: I lived in a house without internet connection and a

426
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 4: lot of other basic stuff for the first two years

427
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Speaker 4: of living by myself, making do with what I had

428
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Speaker 4: because I would rather not have internet then not have

429
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Speaker 4: a home. I didn't see a need for a better

430
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 4: PC when I couldn't even play games I had for it.

431
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 4: My boyfriend lived with me in that house for a

432
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Speaker 4: few months before convincing me to take a good deal

433
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Speaker 4: on rent for a small house, saying he would help

434
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:59,200
Speaker 4: keep up with bills, which has happened maybe twice since

435
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,680
Speaker 4: we moved in. I relearned my love for video games

436
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 4: on my PC, and I'm sad that a lot of

437
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 4: the stuff I used to play I can't and even

438
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 4: wren because my hardware is outdated. I don't know if

439
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 4: being upset is justified or if I'm just being a

440
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 4: jealous witch, but I cried myself to sleep last night

441
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 4: because I come home every day to a dirty house,

442
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,959
Speaker 4: spend time cleaning cooking my own food just to go

443
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 4: to sleep while he stays up all night guess what,

444
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 4: playing video games until he passes out. He's constantly in

445
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 4: a call with people, even if they're sleeping. I've seen

446
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:36,360
Speaker 4: the video chats. That's insane. Who's he talking to? Then

447
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 4: I would feel somewhat proud of him for finding a

448
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 4: stay at home job if I didn't express to him

449
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,880
Speaker 4: multiple times that I want someone who's willing to step

450
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 4: up and take care of me financially instead of me

451
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 4: being the financial cushion. So am I the ale for

452
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 4: being upset that I financially paved this road for my

453
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 4: boyfriend and he still refuses to step up or do anything.

454
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 4: I mean, he's still working, but if he continues working

455
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,400
Speaker 4: at this specific job, I think I'm going to start

456
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,439
Speaker 4: being mean. I just honestly don't know where to go

457
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 4: from here. He doesn't really have anywhere to go if

458
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 4: I tell him to leave. But I'm so sad that

459
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 4: I haven't been able to do much with my own

460
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 4: money because it's being spent on groceries. There's a little

461
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 4: bit left of the story.

462
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Cause Okay, it's one thing like if

463
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 2: you're if you start dating someone and you want to

464
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 2: be the person that like pays for everything and you

465
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 2: want to like spoil your partner whatever, and you spend

466
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 2: all your money on them. If you choose to do that,

467
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,439
Speaker 2: then that's cool, you know what I mean. That's like

468
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 2: really nice for you to do. You don't have to

469
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 2: do that, despite what some traditions say. Yeah, yeah, but

470
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 2: I feel like it's definitely cross that point in OP

471
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 2: knows that it's like, yeah, you're spending all of the

472
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 2: money on groceries, Like, yes, he's working now, but that

473
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 2: you are too, Like it doesn't mean that his financial

474
00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: contributions which aren't that much. Nope, that's like not even

475
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 2: close to like what the like to fixing the problem.

476
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 4: Listen, OPI like, at this point, you're making him happier

477
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 4: than you're making yourself happier. At this point, what's the point. Seriously,

478
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 4: You're you're not enjoying your life and you're young. You

479
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 4: are young, you should be enjoying. Like, yes, you you

480
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 4: have someone that you Oh, I care about them, but

481
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 4: it seems like they don't care about you. Yeah. It

482
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 4: seems like you've expressed, you know, multiple times that hey,

483
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,119
Speaker 4: I want I need things too. I would have a

484
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 4: conversation with him and like, hey, before you buy yourself something,

485
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 4: I think you know you need to prioritize money into

486
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 4: all these things. You need to step up and you

487
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 4: know your actions speak louder than the words.

488
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, so definitely.

489
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 4: You deserve better, OPI and you at this point, if

490
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 4: it's you shouldn't care of you know, it's his life.

491
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:55,679
Speaker 4: He's an adult. He can take care of himself.

492
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 2: Exactly.

493
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 4: He's not. He's not your child, right, the little baby boy.

494
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 4: But we do have an update. I set him down

495
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 4: and asked him to use the paycheck he's getting on

496
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 4: finding a new place to stay. He seemed a bit

497
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 4: mad when I told him, which kind of made me

498
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 4: feel better about the talk. He defended himself, saying the

499
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 4: job he has now pays more than his old one.

500
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 4: But I told him it isn't about that. It's about

501
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 4: his lack of perception and support towards my dreams and

502
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 4: goals I've already voiced, and his willingness to take my

503
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 4: support to achieve his Thank you to the angel that

504
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 4: worded that so well in the comments. The sad part is,

505
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 4: I don't even think he's going to get that check

506
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 4: almost positive. The job he took is a reshipping scam.

507
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: Oh gosh.

508
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 4: I hope he didn't lie about the rent money he

509
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 4: had set back, so he still has something to move

510
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 4: out with. But I'm not his mom and I'm done

511
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 4: acting like it good Well, also, to clear things up,

512
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 4: I'm not looking for a bankroller, someone higher class, some rich,

513
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 4: highly wanted person, anything like that. I just want stability, really,

514
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 4: which I had buy myself before he moved in. And

515
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,479
Speaker 4: I was an idiot to ever give that up. Lesson learned.

516
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 2: You had to learn it the hard way, but you did.

517
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got there.

518
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 2: I refuse to move houses despite my boyfriend's demand. You're

519
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 2: not taking me anywhere. I don't know how to start this.

520
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 2: I twenty seven female, have been with my fiance, twenty

521
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 2: eight male, for five years. We've just recently saved enough

522
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 2: for a deposit on a house, and he's found this

523
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 2: cottage in the middle of nowhere, two hours away from

524
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 2: where we currently live. The thing is, I already work

525
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,679
Speaker 2: an hour away. I am a nursery practitioner and I

526
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 2: love my workplace. I've been there since I was twenty

527
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 2: and I've worked my way up to a room lead position.

528
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a throwaway nowhere house

529
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

530
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 2: to the hour slash Okay, Storytime, Supreddit and Opie says

531
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 2: living three hours away from my job would not be ideal,

532
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 2: but my fiance won't budge on this house. He says

533
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 2: it's perfect within our budget and quirky enough to fit

534
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 2: our tastes in home style. I've tried to communicate with

535
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 2: him about the issue multiple times, bringing up the fact

536
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 2: that there's not even any nurseries in that area that

537
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 2: are looking for staff, and I don't want to find

538
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 2: another job that's a bit further out, but start from

539
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 2: the bottom again. He says, it'll all work out if

540
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 2: I just stop overthinking it. And I've been at my

541
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: current job for so long that it would be nice

542
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 2: for me to start fresh. Why are you choosing that?

543
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,439
Speaker 2: That's up to her. Yeah, I feel like I feel like,

544
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: just stop overthinking it is not that's not how you

545
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 2: play life. She's like bringing up really good points like yeah,

546
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,639
Speaker 2: She's like, where will I work? And he's like, oh,

547
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:41,679
Speaker 2: bab it'll work out. Go with the flow. Yeah, oh man.

548
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 2: Another issue is that I want children They've always been

549
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: a huge deal breaker for me, and I don't think

550
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,919
Speaker 2: it would be such a good idea to live so

551
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 2: remotely when it comes to children, as we will have

552
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 2: to get them to and from school or nursery before

553
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 2: and after work every single day. The nearest school slash

554
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 2: nursery is a thirty minute drive away from the house

555
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 2: that he once, and we both start work fairly early

556
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 2: and finish quite late. It will also be an issue

557
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 2: of their freedom as they grow up, because I think

558
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 2: it would be horrible to have to rely on your

559
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 2: parents for transportation all the time and have to skip

560
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 2: out on plans if they can't drive you. He really

561
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: thinks I'm being dramatic about this and I'll just figure

562
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,359
Speaker 2: it out. So am I the a hope for not

563
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,360
Speaker 2: wanting to move so far away from my job and

564
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 2: basically all civilization asks? Chad GPD And there are some comments,

565
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:26,919
Speaker 2: but what do you think, Sophia.

566
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 3: No, I feel like you have, you know, brought up

567
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 3: some really good points of like your job right and

568
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 3: needing to be near your job right.

569
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: I mean that stuff is like, uh, you know, very

570
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 2: important when trying to find a place to live is

571
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 2: like okay, first of all, like it doesn't even see that,

572
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 2: it doesn't even seem like Ope wants to live somewhere remote,

573
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 2: just in general. And then also obviously you know, the

574
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 2: long drive to work, and then when you have kids,

575
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 2: like building a home there just doesn't seem like the

576
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 2: right option. Yeah, so you know those are pretty big.

577
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 3: I think if your partnership on board, then we got

578
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 3: to find a new option.

579
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, you gotta be both on board, right, But

580
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 2: there are some comments coming. Number one says, not the

581
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 2: a hole, You too are not on the same page.

582
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 2: She needs sort that out before you get married. Opie says,

583
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 2: I am desperately trying to sort it out. I'm considering

584
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: telling him that I will end the engagement if he

585
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 2: continues to be unreasonable and doesn't consider my feelings on

586
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 2: the matter. Cowm At Number two says, not the a hole.

587
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 2: If you have joined the funds, immediately remove your contributions

588
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: from the account and safeguard the money. He absolutely will

589
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: use all of it to buy the cottage. His plan

590
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 2: is to isolate you and keep you away from your

591
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 2: network of people. Opie says, Luckily I control our finances

592
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 2: because I'm better with numbers, so I've already transferred my

593
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 2: half of the savings into a different account. He won't

594
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 2: even notice. He's usually very sweet and considerate, so I'm

595
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 2: not sure what's got into him about this house. He

596
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 2: loves my family and we have the same friend group

597
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 2: as we've known each other since high school, so I

598
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 2: don't think he's trying to isolate me. Comment through Number

599
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 2: three says, is the house also three hours away from

600
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,959
Speaker 2: his workplace or does he work from home? OPI says

601
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: he works in tech and he does go physically to work,

602
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 2: but has the opportunity to work from home if he

603
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 2: wants to. He says, because it's worked out for him,

604
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 2: it'll work out for me too, and I can just

605
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 2: always find another job in a nursery. But I don't

606
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: think he quite gets how difficult it is to find

607
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 2: a genuinely good job in a great nursery that doesn't

608
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 2: have a toxic environment and crazy high staff turnover. Someone

609
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 2: else responds, and that's why he doesn't care about the

610
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 2: remote location, because it does not affect him. You should

611
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 2: think about that cow much. Number four says, who exactly

612
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 2: is we? Who received the money for the deposit? Who

613
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 2: did the money come from? If it came from somebody

614
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: in his family, he's probably being very proprietary about how

615
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: the money is spent. That isn't a partnership, and this

616
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 2: kind of thinking will spill over into other areas of

617
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 2: their life. If the money came from someone in your family,

618
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 2: or if it is somehow attached to your career like

619
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 2: a bonus, then he is a dictator who will force

620
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 2: his ideas on you time and time again. Buying a

621
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 2: house is a partnership. He will expect you to pay

622
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 2: or help pay your portion of the mortgage and the upkeep,

623
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: but you don't get to say You don't get to

624
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 2: say in where the house is located. Is that what

625
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 2: you want? Not the a hole? I hope, He responds,

626
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: We've been saving for a while. Nobody gave us any money.

627
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 2: I was already saving before we got together, so was he,

628
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: and after a couple of years together, we decided to

629
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: pool our house savings for our future, which I now

630
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 2: realize was probably a really dumb idea because we aren't married.

631
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 2: I've actually put more in than him despite earning less,

632
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 2: because I'm happy to live a frugal lifestyle while he

633
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 2: likes holidays an expensive cars, et cetera. But there is

634
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 2: an update. But what do you think about those those

635
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 2: points that were brought up?

636
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 3: It seems like you guys are pretty different. Yeah, at

637
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 3: least in terms of lifestyles. Yeah, No, it's dealy a compromise.

638
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 3: I don't think it's necessarily.

639
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,719
Speaker 2: Like break up level, but sure, sure, Like I I

640
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 2: if you.

641
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 3: Can't find a compromise, that would that would be you know, yeah,

642
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 3: you wouldn't be able to move forward. But I feel like,

643
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 3: is there a compromise that can be made between these

644
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 3: two lifestyles right?

645
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,239
Speaker 2: Right? And hopefully there is, I mean hopefully you know,

646
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 2: while they've been dating, there is there's been some sort

647
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 2: of compromise. Yeah, but you know, we can't really confirm

648
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 2: that unfortunately. But yeah, I think it's just a good

649
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 2: conversation of all of your worries need to be in order.

650
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 2: And part of that is, like, no, you just keep

651
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 2: saying that it'll work out because this is a good

652
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 2: option for you, but like how it works for my job?

653
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and just like really be clear about you, like

654
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 3: the fact that you care about your career and you

655
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 3: don't want to just like not have a career anymore.

656
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 2: Exactly, and to have a career, you have to be

657
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 2: in this place exactly. But we do have an update.

658
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 2: Fiance and I have been together five years, but I've

659
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 2: known him for twelve years, and in all of the

660
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: time i've known him, and especially since we got together,

661
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 2: he's always been sweet, taking my feelings into consideration, and

662
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 2: hasn't actively ignored my opinion like this. It's always been

663
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 2: a two yes, one no situation and decisions. Before this,

664
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: we had a good relationship Otherwise, we had date nights

665
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 2: once a fortnight, we enjoyed each other's company, had aligned

666
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 2: plans for the future, and the same ideals for a relationship.

667
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: He had watched me go through a few quite bad

668
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 2: relationships over the years before we got together, and did

669
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 2: his best to be the opposite of my exes. Though

670
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 2: he's always been quite pushy when it comes to intimacy,

671
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 2: so I guess that's an issue. But other than that,

672
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 2: it was great, and we had actually had a lot

673
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 2: of talks about what we wanted in a house. We

674
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: had agreed that we wanted a house or cottage either

675
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: the same distance away or closer to my work, a

676
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 2: bit more remote, but still with the town or city

677
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 2: easily accessible by a public transport or car. I'm not

678
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 2: sure why he suddenly switched to wanting a house so

679
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: far out from everything and everyone. We both know we

680
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 2: live in the UK and a two hour drive can

681
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 2: basically have you in a whole nother world. Anyway, onto

682
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 2: the actual update, I had annual mood.

683
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 3: That's why thirty minutes is so long for them? Yeah, exactly,

684
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 3: I was wondering.

685
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 2: I was like, thirty minutes is not like I don't right, Yeah.

686
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 2: I had annual leave from work yesterday and my now

687
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: ex fiance while having a work from home day? Whoa what?

688
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 2: Oh oh? How did I get there? Couldn't compromise? Oh

689
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 2: my gosh shang. The work from home day is something

690
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 2: he's been doing more and more frequently as of late.

691
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 2: This is another reason he is so okay with the

692
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 2: house that he wants being where it is, because he

693
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 2: can just switch to full time work from home. In

694
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 2: the morning, I sat down with him and tried to

695
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 2: bring up the house. I laid out my points for

696
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 2: my last post yet again, and told him that I'm

697
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: under no circumstances leaving my job. I love it and

698
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 2: I do not want to search for another. I brought

699
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 2: up the countless other houses that fit our criteria that

700
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 2: are in our area and closer to my work, some

701
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 2: of which we have viewed. We haven't viewed the place

702
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: that he wants yet as we haven't had time, and

703
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 2: I told him that I do not want to, as

704
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: I already know that it's not what I want. I

705
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 2: also asked him if he really thinks it would be

706
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 2: okay for me to have a six hour round commute

707
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 2: every day, especially considering my shift starts at eight am,

708
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 2: so I would have to leave by five am every

709
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 2: morning and be by around four am. That's crazy. That

710
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 2: is crazy. My shifts typically finish at five thirty PM,

711
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 2: so I wouldn't even be back home until eight thirty.

712
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 2: You'd never see him. Yeah, what would he be okay

713
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: with doing all the childcare in the future, housework, and

714
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 2: just everything that needed to be done because I would

715
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 2: not be home for any of it. He didn't seem

716
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 2: to take any of it to heart and still insisted

717
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 2: that I could find another job, maybe one not even

718
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 2: in childcare, And that's what finally pushed me over the edge.

719
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 2: Childcare has been my dream since I was a little girl,

720
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 2: and I managed to find an absolute dream of a

721
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 2: workplace that I know many childcare practitioners would pass away

722
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: to work for. How could I possibly leave that all

723
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: behind when I've worked so hard for it. He told

724
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 2: me that he's set on this house, so either I

725
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 2: accept it or I leave.

726
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 3: How Yeah, so I guess there was no compromise to

727
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 3: be made, not at all. Why is he so set

728
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 3: on the house?

729
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:59,240
Speaker 2: I don't know they're gold buried underneath the house, yeah, honestly,

730
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 2: Like did he already buy it?

731
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 3: Like I was like, so, I have bad news for

732
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 3: you right right the house is here.

733
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: Oh you have to go returns?

734
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean yeah, I mean that's what I said.

735
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 3: It was like, yeah, I guess if you guys can't compromise,

736
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 3: it's not gonna work out. And it looks like you

737
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 3: couldn't compromise.

738
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 2: Can't compromise? No, yeah, because I mean, like I have

739
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 2: to drive like an hour and a half to just

740
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 2: to get here, and like I was kind of hoping.

741
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 2: I was glad that she clarified, like what it was

742
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,919
Speaker 2: like whether there was three hours round trip or three

743
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 2: hours each way. Three hours each way way is great.

744
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 2: I mean, you never see her you getting tired of

745
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 2: the road. See her, Yeah, and then just one of

746
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 2: like depressing lifestyle that might be for her, No being

747
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 2: on the road for six hours a day after working

748
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: like what it was five thirty to eight thirty.

749
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 3: So I just can't believe that he's choosing this house

750
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 3: over like this person he was about to marry.

751
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, because then it's like, way, is he gonna actually

752
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 2: move there? Yeah, that he's like not with her like

753
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: then was, and now he doesn't get an house or

754
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 2: her Oh yeah, now he's to pay for the house yet.

755
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,839
Speaker 2: That's crazy alone, So he says, I chose to leave.

756
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 2: I gave his ring back and told him that we're

757
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 2: done and that he's not being the sweet, considerate man

758
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 2: I fell in love with. And I don't know why

759
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 2: he can't see my side of things in this. I

760
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 2: did not want to live a life with somebody that

761
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 2: doesn't consider how I feel in all of this. This

762
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 2: completely shocked him. He literally said, it's either me or

763
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 2: the house. Yeah, so sorry, It's either it's either yeah,

764
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 2: you yeah, the house or you leave? Yeah. Oh crazy.

765
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 2: So he started begging me to rethink and that we

766
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 2: can figure something out, but I refused and went to

767
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 2: pack my things. I'm staying with my brother and his

768
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 2: wife now, which is nice because they live closer to

769
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 2: my workplace at thirty minute drive instead of an hour,

770
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 2: and I get to spend time with my little nieces.

771
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: I'm hurting, but I also feel like a huge weight

772
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: has been lifted off my shoulders. I do not deserve

773
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 2: to have my opinion valued, and he certainly did not.

774
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 2: I guess it's all words and upwards, as I say,

775
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,399
Speaker 2: but I definitely won't be dating for a long time

776
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 2: after this. Yeah, take a bee. Yeah, I think that's fair.

777
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 2: I think you know agree, leaving any relationship you need

778
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,839
Speaker 2: some time. But after leaving about to like you're an engagement. Yeah,

779
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 2: that's that's something you'll need to take time from. But

780
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 2: take a minute. But I'm glad that a weight has

781
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 2: been lifted off your shoulders. I think that's very telling

782
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: of maybe how other things felt in a relationship. Yeah,

783
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 2: without you're realizing. Yeah absolutely, John.

784
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story, but

785
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: a quick three minute of break of ads from our sponsors.

786
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 2: My maid of honor is jealous of my engagement, so

787
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 2: I removed her from my life.

788
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 4: Get your own engagement.

789
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 2: I'm getting married in September, and my maid of honor

790
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,840
Speaker 2: is my best friend since preschool, twenty plus years of friendship.

791
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 2: I am the first one of her friends to get engaged,

792
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 2: so neither of us has really gone through this process

793
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 2: of planning a wedding before I got engaged last September,

794
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 2: and since then, and honestly even before, the vibes have

795
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 2: been weird. By the way, this comes from proposal spirituals

796
00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 2: six five eight, And if you want to submit your

797
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,879
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the hour slash Okay story

798
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 2: time is separated it and I'm.

799
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,399
Speaker 4: Angie and I'm Keon, and.

800
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 2: We'll try to give our best advice. But we haven't

801
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 2: experienced most of these situations ourselves, so if you have,

802
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 2: give us your take in the comments down below. So

803
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 2: oh P says this may be hard to understand without

804
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 2: knowing the dynamic of our friendship. A quick example would

805
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 2: be the time that she blocked me for months in

806
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 2: middle school because I was talking about my new hamster

807
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 2: too much. Anyways, for starters, I don't think she really

808
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 2: likes my fiance. He is a very quiet guy who

809
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 2: would rather sit in complete silence than talk, and this

810
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 2: has completely rubbed her the wrong way. We have hung

811
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 2: out together as a group multiple times and they get

812
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 2: along just fine and we've had fun times together. But

813
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 2: I think she's upset that he hasn't pursued a closer

814
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 2: relationship with her. To be fair, the only thing they

815
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 2: have in common is me illwell, we also live an

816
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 2: hour away from each other, so we don't get together

817
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,399
Speaker 2: on a regular basis. This weird vibe started when one

818
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 2: day her and I were hanging out and I knew

819
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 2: my fiance was ring shopping at the time, so I

820
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 2: told her excitedly, and instantly the atmosphere went stone cold.

821
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 2: She actually got genuinely angry with me because she wanted

822
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: my fiance to involve her in the proposal that hadn't

823
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 2: even been planned at that point. She never expressed excitement

824
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 2: for me and the fact that we were preparing for

825
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 2: that next step. She just went straight to anger about

826
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,439
Speaker 2: wanting to be involved. I explained her that I really

827
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,879
Speaker 2: didn't want anyone involved, as him and I are both

828
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 2: very private, introverted people who aren't big on PDA. I

829
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: wanted a very intimate proposal planned by him, as the

830
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 2: proposal is the one thing the man is totally responsible

831
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 2: for I wanted him to be able to have his

832
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 2: moment and fully trusted his ability to plan something I

833
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 2: would love with no help. So fast forward a few

834
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 2: months later, we were engaged. I drove the hour down

835
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 2: to my maid of honors house to tell her in person,

836
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 2: and quite honestly had terrible anxiety the entire time because

837
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 2: I was so afraid of her being upset with me

838
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 2: since he ended up not involving her. Luckily, she wasn't outright,

839
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 2: but I have to say the vibe since that day

840
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,959
Speaker 2: has been so strange. She was happy for me, sure,

841
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 2: but not in the way that you would expect a

842
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 2: best friend of twenty years would be. It was basically

843
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 2: a wow, how exciting? And then onto the next thing

844
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 2: is if nothing happened, you might be questioning if my

845
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 2: fiance is a bad fit for me at this point

846
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 2: and thinking that's why my friend is acting this way,

847
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 2: But fortunately that's not the case. I have complained about

848
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 2: him once to her a few years back because he

849
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 2: bought a sports car and it annoyed me. He later

850
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 2: sold that same sports car and bought my engagement ring

851
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,760
Speaker 2: the same day, so safe to say the problem was resolved.

852
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 2: Oh well, him and I honestly have a relationship that's

853
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 2: so healthy and loving. I didn't believe it was possible

854
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 2: until I met him. Everyone else adores my fiance and

855
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 2: has commented about how much my overall happiness and well

856
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 2: being has improved since being with him, So if she

857
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 2: doesn't like him, I'm not sure what her reasoning would

858
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 2: be beyond him rubbing her the wrong way, because he's

859
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 2: very reserved. Following the engagement, the wedding planning started. This

860
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 2: included choosing the color palette for the bridesmaid's dresses. I

861
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 2: have five bridesmaids, including her, and was planning on having

862
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 2: them all choose their own solid color dress in one

863
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 2: of the colors from the palette. Right off the bat,

864
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 2: my maid of honor asked me if I wanted her

865
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 2: to be in a different color pattern, et cetera, to

866
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,439
Speaker 2: which I said no, since I only have five bridesmaids,

867
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 2: I would like them all to blend cohesively, if that

868
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 2: makes sense. Comments about wanting to be different and stand

869
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 2: out continued. She ended up choosing a jumpsuit instead of

870
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 2: a dress so that she could stand apart from the

871
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 2: other bridesmaids, and I gave up at that point saying

872
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 2: anything sort of unrelated. But at one point she was

873
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 2: sending me photos of engagement rings for herself, and multiple

874
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 2: of them were almost identical to my ring, just in

875
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 2: gold instead of silver. My fiance custom design to my ring,

876
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 2: so it's not something that I see often, which makes

877
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 2: this even weirder. My question is, does she genuinely not

878
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 2: know what my ring looks like and doesn't realize the

879
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 2: ones she said were so similar, or did she know

880
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 2: and not care it's just so weird, Like, surely I'm

881
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:07,439
Speaker 2: not crazy for thinking this is bizarre. Anyways, fast forward

882
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 2: a few months, I ended up finding my wedding dress alone,

883
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,919
Speaker 2: not on purpose, but prior to that, I did do

884
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 2: a big dress appointment with my mom, his mom, and

885
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,839
Speaker 2: my maid of honor, so it's not like we never

886
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 2: went together. She just works evenings and weekends and I

887
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 2: work morning and afternoons, so it's rather hard to get

888
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 2: together on the last minute notice. This is important because

889
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 2: I just had my dress fitting recently and she made

890
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 2: a big point how she wants to be there because

891
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 2: I've been doing everything alone. Okay, come the day of

892
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,320
Speaker 2: the dress fitting, she texted me that she was having

893
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,919
Speaker 2: a breakdown because her and her boyfriend were on the rocks. Oh,

894
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 2: for context, they are on the verge of breaking up

895
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 2: every couple of months, and that has been the pattern

896
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 2: for the past three years. Now. Don't let me say

897
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:54,280
Speaker 2: anything about the situation. So I've had to stay neutral,

898
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 2: even though I believe it's against her best interest to

899
00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 2: stay in that relationship. But she can do as she pleases, obviously.

900
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: I asked if she wanted me to stop by her

901
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 2: house before the fitting to check in. She said that

902
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 2: she was scared to tell me what's going on because

903
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 2: she feels like I'm against her boyfriend projecting maybe. Oh interesting,

904
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 2: So she doesn't want to tell ope what's going on

905
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:20,280
Speaker 2: because she knows that it's She knows that she's gonna

906
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 2: tell them to just stay broken up.

907
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, and yeah, I get it. She's like, oh, because

908
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 4: you're engaged in having a wonderful time and I'm having

909
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 4: a terrible time. So you want me to have a

910
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,359
Speaker 4: terrible time and make me look bad?

911
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,919
Speaker 2: Right, you're against my boyfriend, You're against me. I feel

912
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 2: like she's gonna try to convince her to call out

913
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 2: the wedding op.

914
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 4: How are you not like bff's with my boyfriend, like

915
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 4: you should be telling him to stay with me.

916
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyways, I sent a reply, still staying very neutral,

917
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 2: but basically implying that she knows deep down what's best

918
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 2: for her and she needs to listen to that. After that,

919
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 2: she said that she couldn't come to my fitting anymore. Luckily,

920
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: she did end up changing her mind and showed up

921
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 2: a bit before the fitting started, but the vibes were

922
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 2: still so weird, a bit out of order. But the

923
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 2: week before my dress fitting, we went camping for my

924
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 2: birthday and returned to my house on my birthday. When

925
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,280
Speaker 2: we came into the house to grab her car keys,

926
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 2: we saw that my fiance had decorated for my birthday

927
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 2: and had a present waiting for me. He was at

928
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 2: work at the time, so it was just me and

929
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 2: my maid of honor at the house. She prompted me

930
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: to open it and it turned out to be a

931
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,280
Speaker 2: wedding band. Oh wow. He had told me he didn't

932
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 2: have the money for one and we wouldn't be able

933
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 2: to get one, so this moment was very special for me.

934
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 2: In a total surprise, I started tearing up and went

935
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 2: to show her and she basically said, oh, that's nice.

936
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 2: And walked off to finish putting stuff in her car.

937
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 2: This totally took me out at the moment and kind

938
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 2: of shocked me. On the camping trip, she was saying

939
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 2: how she wants to be a part of these important moments,

940
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 2: but when she was it didn't seem like she wants

941
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: to be or something goes wrong. I know she's been

942
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 2: talking with her boyfriend about getting engaged, and she has

943
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 2: said that she doesn't feel like they are on the

944
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 2: same page about it. She brings up other people's engagements

945
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 2: to me with the question of when is it my turn.

946
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if the state of her relationship is preventing

947
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 2: her from being truly happy for me, and that is

948
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:15,399
Speaker 2: what's creating this odd vibe. I understand it isn't fun

949
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,280
Speaker 2: to be celebrating someone else's relationship when your own is struggling,

950
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: but I just don't know what to do. Also, while

951
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 2: on this camping trip, she brought up wanting to do

952
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 2: a toast at the wedding. I've been worried about this

953
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 2: topic for a while since she isn't the biggest fan

954
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 2: of my fiance. Well, apparently her plan for her toast

955
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 2: is to just be about me and then someone else

956
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 2: can do one for him. I feel like that's not

957
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 2: usually how like maid of honor.

958
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 4: Yo, I mean yes you do, because you are the

959
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:48,240
Speaker 4: maid of honor. It's mainly about you know, the foul ope.

960
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,879
Speaker 4: But you gotta like the fact that you're not gonna

961
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:56,760
Speaker 4: put anything in there about Op's future husband. Yeah, fiance

962
00:45:56,960 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 4: at the moment is wild. I've not the best man's

963
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, really it was very fun. Yeah, I

964
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 4: blacked out, like no, no, no, I like, I I wasn't.

965
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 4: I didn't drink. I was like, I like, like completely,

966
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 4: like what happened? Right right?

967
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: Right? Did it go well?

968
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 4: And everyone was like, you did really well? You made

969
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 4: people laugh. It was great. I was like, yeah, I.

970
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 2: Feel like when you when you like immensely blackout of

971
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 2: performances like that, that's that means you did amazing.

972
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 4: Completely zoned out. I definitely like muffled a little bit,

973
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 4: but like who doesn't, it's great. It was very fun.

974
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 4: And what I did was talk about my relationship with

975
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:31,919
Speaker 4: my friend who I was the best man for. Yeah,

976
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 4: and then I was like, cool, seventy percent of it

977
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 4: was about him sixty percent and then the rest of

978
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 4: it was about his wife.

979
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like that's usually how it goes. It's like, Oh,

980
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 2: this is my relationship with my bestie, and then it's like, uh,

981
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 2: this is how I've seen their relationship blossom, and it's

982
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 2: so beautiful.

983
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was. That's what it was, and everyone

984
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 4: loved it.

985
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's great. We don't need to worry about the

986
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 2: people that did it. This is a problem for me

987
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,120
Speaker 2: because the wedding is not about me. It's about him

988
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 2: and I as a pair. I want the toast to

989
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 2: be celebrating our relationship and not just me as an individual.

990
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,360
Speaker 2: I'm planning on talking with her about that, and I

991
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 2: have a feeling that it might bring up a lot

992
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 2: of buried emotion that has been causing this weird energy

993
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 2: for the past year. This wedding is in less than

994
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 2: two months, and I have no idea how that conversation

995
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 2: will play out. What should we do about this bride?

996
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 2: This made of Honor's got two months?

997
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 4: This made of honor. You got to have a conversation

998
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 4: before things. You know, she will. I don't think it

999
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 4: would be maybe it's intentionally or not intentionally, but sabotaging

1000
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 4: your wedding. Yeah, this is your day. You want to

1001
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 4: make it the best day it could be. Right, If

1002
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 4: she's going to be an obstacle or a stress factor

1003
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,479
Speaker 4: for you, you got to have a conversation. Yeah, gotta

1004
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 4: have a conversation and be like, you know what, tell

1005
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 4: her straight up. And if she is still pushing or

1006
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 4: still stressing you out, you could demote her. That is

1007
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 4: not going to be great. We already know what she's

1008
00:47:55,320 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 4: like if she doesn't get her way. But again, what

1009
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 4: I say about weddings, it's your wedding, your rules. If

1010
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 4: somebody is going to ruin it that day, ruin that

1011
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 4: day for you, definitely definitely don't.

1012
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 1: Let her in.

1013
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 4: But also I would talk to your fiance, yeah, and

1014
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 4: see what he thinks too, See.

1015
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 2: He would want Yeah, because I don't know, it's like

1016
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 2: it's very easy for me, as someone that doesn't actually

1017
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 2: know these people to just be like, I don't think

1018
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 2: you should be friends, you know, but like that's kind

1019
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 2: of how I feel. So I don't want to say

1020
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 2: that because obviously twenty plus years of friendship or whatever,

1021
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:35,359
Speaker 2: was that right?

1022
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 4: Or is this plus friend yeah? Since pretty much grade school?

1023
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, so long long time of being friends. I understand

1024
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,240
Speaker 2: that it's like difficult to just be like, oh bye

1025
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:45,879
Speaker 2: all of a sudden because you have so much pass

1026
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 2: together and everything. You probably have family, friends and stuff,

1027
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:49,359
Speaker 2: you know.

1028
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have. You don't make that up, right. Twenty

1029
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 4: years is twenty years, right, But she's causing you to

1030
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 4: do this.

1031
00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, But there is a little bit more to

1032
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:04,240
Speaker 2: this story. Believe me when I say the vibe is weird.

1033
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 2: And there have been so many little things that I

1034
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 2: haven't mentioned here that have added up over time. It's

1035
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 2: like a strange tension is always in the air and

1036
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 2: we're together. Sometimes it's easier to ignore, but when happy

1037
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 2: moments happen for me, it seems to become more prevalent.

1038
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,359
Speaker 2: So what do I do? Obviously I want my friend

1039
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 2: of twenty years to be part of my big day

1040
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 2: and all these special moments. But if the vibe is

1041
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 2: always so oft, then I just don't know any advice.

1042
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 2: Should I just talk to her and risk opening Pandora's

1043
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 2: box and burning the bridge right before the wedding. I

1044
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 2: just want to feel like my maid of honor is

1045
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,839
Speaker 2: genuinely happy for me, and I'm not sure if that's

1046
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 2: the case right now, and we actually do have an update.

1047
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 4: Oh wait, you I a little update. We already said

1048
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 4: our peace.

1049
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 2: So yeah, we have set our piece. We know what

1050
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 2: we want.

1051
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 4: You to do. What do we think is gonna happen?

1052
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 4: Do we think Opie's gonna have a full on conversation?

1053
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 4: I don't know. Maybe you guys step peace.

1054
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 2: So I feel like, okay, I feel like either she

1055
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:01,440
Speaker 2: doesn't have the conversation or okay, wait, actually restarting, I

1056
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 2: feel like she either has the conversation. Things blow up

1057
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 2: a little bit, but maybe she just kind of deals

1058
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 2: with it and just like she just lets.

1059
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 4: You okay, like not op but the friend. The friend

1060
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,320
Speaker 4: goes okay, sure.

1061
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 2: Let's find out. Let's find out. Okay, update, So long

1062
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 2: story shorts. We had a conversation. She is no longer

1063
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 2: my maid of honor and we are no longer friends.

1064
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 2: But that's all we get. It's just that one.

1065
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 4: Sentence, you know what, Angie. Sometimes that's all you need.

1066
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 4: You need the you know, the full on details, because

1067
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 4: we already knew, h we are come on, we already

1068
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 4: know that. She was like, it's about me, me, me.

1069
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:42,319
Speaker 2: We can we could, You're right, we could definitely see

1070
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,879
Speaker 2: how that played out. We can, I.

1071
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 4: Can fill in the blanks. Yeah, well good on you. Op.

1072
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 4: You did. You did what you needed to do and

1073
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 4: you were supposed to do. And you know what, it

1074
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 4: shows your true colors. I said earlier, you're wedding your rules.

1075
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,720
Speaker 4: If this since going to ruin your day and stress

1076
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 4: you out, you don't need them there.

1077
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 2: Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1078
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 4: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I

1079
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:11,439
Speaker 4: ask my friend's girlfriend to stop joining our guys night.

1080
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,400
Speaker 4: Now I'm the villain.

1081
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 2: And now we're breaking up the band.

1082
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 4: The friend Gareth and his partner Toddy aren't talking to

1083
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 4: the group anymore. Our group of friends regularly plays games

1084
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 4: on the weekends. Because we don't live near each other,

1085
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 4: it's an easy way to get some time together without

1086
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 4: driving hours to meet up. We all met in high

1087
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 4: school and have known each other for about eight years.

1088
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user careless chapter four

1089
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,240
Speaker 4: seven five. And if you want submit your own stories,

1090
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 4: go to our slash Okay storytime Supreddit. I'm key on,

1091
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 4: I Manjie, and we'll try to give our best advice.

1092
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 4: But some of us haven't experienced most of these situations

1093
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 4: ourselves so if you have, let us know your take

1094
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 4: in the comments. Opie says we play a widespread of games,

1095
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 4: some like Lethal Company or among us include our partners

1096
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:59,479
Speaker 4: to have more people involved. We also play FPS, first

1097
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 4: person pupews games that our partners don't have any interest in,

1098
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 4: and those have been our informal guys nights up until

1099
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 4: about three months ago. About two months ago, we started

1100
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,280
Speaker 4: playing counter Strike almost exclusively. This is when Gareth's partner

1101
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:17,720
Speaker 4: Toddy started joining the Discord call and just listening.

1102
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 2: To us play.

1103
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 4: It wasn't a big deal at first, but it got

1104
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,239
Speaker 4: to the point where Totty was always in the call

1105
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 4: whenever Gareth was. Our guys Nights disappeared unless Gareth couldn't play.

1106
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 4: The vibe of the group was noticeably different when she

1107
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 4: was in the call versus when she wasn't. Even Gareth

1108
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,360
Speaker 4: changed the types of jokes and the way he talked

1109
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 4: when Toddy was there. This went on for another month

1110
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 4: before we decided we should ask if Toddy could not

1111
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 4: hang out in the call while we played FPS games,

1112
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,000
Speaker 4: so you know we could have our guys Nights back.

1113
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 4: Me and three other guys in the group spent weeks

1114
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 4: deciding whether to bring this up, because we had a

1115
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 4: feeling they would react. They wouldn't react well. Originally, we

1116
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:01,360
Speaker 4: were going to ask on discord when just Gareth was online,

1117
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,280
Speaker 4: so we could just get his thoughts and explain why

1118
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 4: we wanted this without risking offending Toddy. However, we realized

1119
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,400
Speaker 4: we couldn't get that opportunity because we hardly ever have

1120
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 4: everyone online at the same time, and Toddy was always

1121
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 4: in the call when Gareth was, so it fell to

1122
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 4: me to ask. Since I had known Gareth the longest,

1123
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 4: I decided to send a text about it. I spent

1124
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 4: at least an hour and a half crafting the message

1125
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 4: so it didn't come across as mean or make it

1126
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 4: seem like we didn't like Toddy. I sent the message

1127
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 4: to everyone in the group first and got approval that

1128
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 4: it was good. The message said the group would appreciate it.

1129
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 4: Toddy wouldn't hang out in the calls every time we

1130
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,280
Speaker 4: play games that the girls have no interest in playing.

1131
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 4: The rest of the group feels like they have to

1132
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 4: filter themselves when she sits in the calls, and we

1133
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,919
Speaker 4: want to have time to let loose and not worry

1134
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:53,320
Speaker 4: about what we say. We make Guy jokes and political

1135
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 4: jokes a lot, and Todty has shown that she doesn't

1136
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 4: like the jokes several times, even though she claims she

1137
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,840
Speaker 4: doesn't get I finished by saying, when we play games

1138
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 4: like Lethal Company or among Us, that's different because she

1139
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 4: and the other girlfriends are playing with us. The issue

1140
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 4: is it feels weird when one person sits on the

1141
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,919
Speaker 4: call and just listens but isn't evolved. I only sent

1142
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 4: the text to Gareth. I didn't tell him not to

1143
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 4: show Totty. I gave him the option of making decision

1144
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 4: for himself, talking to her oh or showing her the text.

1145
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 4: My guess is that he let her read him and

1146
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 4: she did not take it well. This went over poorly

1147
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 4: with Gareth and Tatti. They took it as we didn't

1148
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 4: want to be friends or play games with Totty at all,

1149
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 4: and that it was hurtful to both of them. I

1150
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 4: responded by saying, we didn't mean it like that, and

1151
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 4: we just wanted to be honest and about how we felt.

1152
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 4: If we had just asked her not to sit on

1153
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 4: the call without every reason, I'm sure they would have

1154
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,840
Speaker 4: asked anyway. I said, when someone's on the call, just listening,

1155
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 4: not talking or playing. It changes the vibe. Even if

1156
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,760
Speaker 4: it wasn't intended, it would be the same if someone

1157
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 4: else was sitting in the call. It's not personal the Toddy.

1158
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 4: I finished by saying, it isn't personal and we weren't

1159
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 4: trying to punt her out or anything. We just want

1160
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:08,320
Speaker 4: some time with Gareth and the rest of the boys.

1161
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,800
Speaker 4: This is where it starts to get out of hand. Okay,

1162
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 4: oh boy, take a little pause there, Angie, how do

1163
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 4: we feel?

1164
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's a very reasonable request, honestly,

1165
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 2: because it does that can change things when it's just like, oh,

1166
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 2: like you know, you're a cool person, but like sometimes

1167
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:24,319
Speaker 2: we just we used to be able to hang out

1168
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 2: without you. Yeah, and it's it's it is a really

1169
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 2: hard thing to ask because it's not it's going to

1170
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 2: come off personal, you know, but it's kind of I

1171
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 2: feel like Boys and I is a great way to

1172
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 2: ask that. But that's still not like, yeah.

1173
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 4: This is especially when she's just there to listen, it

1174
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:40,640
Speaker 4: is kind of weird.

1175
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, she's not even playing the game.

1176
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:43,719
Speaker 4: She's not playing, she's not playing the game, she's not

1177
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 4: watching them play. I think she's just there to listen

1178
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 4: and like monitor, which is very obtuse, like don't you

1179
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:52,240
Speaker 4: have other pre time or like other times?

1180
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 2: Like yeah, like are you just always with Gareth Wiges?

1181
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,080
Speaker 2: I mean they said that apparently.

1182
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,800
Speaker 4: She Apparently she is, and she she tunes in every

1183
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:01,439
Speaker 4: time they play. If it's like once in a blue

1184
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 4: moon and like makes jokes with you guys and like

1185
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 4: hangs out, I feel like that's okay. But if it's

1186
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 4: every single time that you guys try to like coordinate

1187
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 4: like a guy's game night right, I also would be

1188
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 4: like what's going on? Because I play these games too,

1189
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 4: and like personally, like we do call outs and like

1190
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,720
Speaker 4: if somebody's there, like I don't know, it's like somebody's

1191
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,719
Speaker 4: like breathing down your neck or like watching over you,

1192
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:24,799
Speaker 4: and you're like, this is kind of weird. Toddy and

1193
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 4: Gareth are in me and my partner's wedding coming up

1194
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 4: in a few months. While Gareth and I are texting

1195
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,720
Speaker 4: about the whole thing, Totty texts my partner and drops

1196
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 4: out of the wedding. I was super upset about this,

1197
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 4: more so than my partner was, but I let it

1198
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 4: slide to avoid causing more drama. Garrett then comes back

1199
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 4: pretty fired up and says I can't make statements like

1200
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 4: that when Toddy isn't playing, she can't be in the call.

1201
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 4: I never said Toddy can't. I said the group would

1202
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 4: appreciate it if she wouldn't be there all the time.

1203
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,280
Speaker 4: Gareth says that when I said it changes the vibe,

1204
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 4: it's very personal, even though I had said it would

1205
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:02,080
Speaker 4: feel weird no matter who would was not just singling

1206
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:05,239
Speaker 4: out Toddy. He said, if it's about guys night, then

1207
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 4: make more plans. Instead of saying Toddy can't join unless invited,

1208
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 4: That wasn't what we originally asked about. We never said

1209
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 4: Toddy couldn't join unless invited. All we asked was that

1210
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 4: if she is not playing that game, could she not

1211
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 4: join the call. I would also like to add that

1212
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 4: Toddy and Gareth are in the same house, one room apart,

1213
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 4: while these games are being played. Gareth continues with more

1214
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 4: about how the default is Toddy isn't invited, which again

1215
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 4: is not what we asked for at all, and he

1216
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 4: finishes by saying that he can't really defend us. This

1217
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 4: really made me feel like he doesn't value our friendship

1218
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 4: as much as I do. I tried to defend myself

1219
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 4: and the boys, debucking all of the words he tried

1220
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 4: to put in my mouth. I finished by saying, I'm

1221
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 4: not sure how we got here. This seemed like a

1222
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 4: simple request, and every friend group has a guys night.

1223
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 4: The conversation ended with Gareth saying it's getting lost over

1224
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 4: tech and we should set up a time to meet

1225
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 4: and hash it out. I agreed and told him to

1226
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 4: message the group a day and time. A week later,

1227
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 4: he didn't message any of us and was even playing

1228
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 4: FBS games with other people instead of trying to resolve

1229
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 4: the issue so we could play together. After another week,

1230
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 4: I texted the group trat to try and get people

1231
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 4: to agree on the time, and Gareth never answered. Three

1232
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 4: days after that, I messaged him again to ask if

1233
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 4: you wanted to set up a time, and he said

1234
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,240
Speaker 4: he's waiting to see when everyone else was available. He

1235
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:32,320
Speaker 4: lived three hours away and the rest of us live

1236
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,919
Speaker 4: close together, which is why we wanted to know when

1237
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 4: he wanted to meet guys. Very simple FaceTime. You guys

1238
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,960
Speaker 4: are on discord calls. Guess what you can literally FaceTime

1239
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 4: on a discord call, you guys literally, oh.

1240
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,920
Speaker 2: My gosh, speak face to face.

1241
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,920
Speaker 4: And if he literally says like, oh no, Toddy has

1242
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:51,959
Speaker 4: to be there, You like, this is what we're talking about.

1243
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 4: Why it's what we're talking about?

1244
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

1245
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 4: Finally, after two weeks, Gareth comes to town and sets

1246
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 4: up a time to meet at a bar. We meet him.

1247
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:01,160
Speaker 4: He asked for everyone's a payin on the matter, since

1248
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 4: up to this point he's only heard through the messages

1249
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 4: with me directly. Everyone gives their opinion and he seems

1250
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 4: satisfied with it. We said, we know Toddy doesn't like

1251
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:13,960
Speaker 4: our jokes and that we feel we have to filter

1252
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 4: ourselves around her because of this. None of us want

1253
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 4: to upset her or make her feel uncomfortable when we

1254
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 4: end up playing games with the larger group. He says,

1255
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 4: we assume that she didn't like the jokes, and she's

1256
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:29,320
Speaker 4: actually fine with them. However, Totty told one friend in

1257
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,440
Speaker 4: the group last summer that she specifically didn't like me

1258
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 4: and one other person in the group or the jokes

1259
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 4: we made.

1260
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 2: Ah, so we have reason behind not believing it's not

1261
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:40,920
Speaker 2: just a vibe.

1262
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, if there's fact, Toddy has also said this to

1263
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 4: my fiance, so we know that her saying it doesn't

1264
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:51,959
Speaker 4: bother me is not true. He says, Totty doesn't feel

1265
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 4: comfortable hanging out with the group right now and probably

1266
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:58,640
Speaker 4: won't for a while. He then asked us to apologize

1267
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 4: to Toddy. I'm not sure exactly what he wanted us

1268
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:05,000
Speaker 4: to apologize for, but we agreed because at this point

1269
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 4: we wanted we wanted it settled so the group could

1270
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 4: go back to playing video games. He says it'd be

1271
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 4: best to do it in person, and we say okay.

1272
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 4: Toddy and Garrett's families throw a big Fourth of July

1273
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:18,360
Speaker 4: party that we normally get invited to, and that was

1274
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 4: the following week so we figured that's when we would

1275
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:25,040
Speaker 4: talk to Toddy. Come fourth of July, none of us

1276
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 4: get invited.

1277
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:27,720
Speaker 2: M are we surprised.

1278
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 4: Gareth's right here, and Toddy is a.

1279
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 2: Little puppeteer, all right, exactly.

1280
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 4: Gareth, come on, get We don't get invited, so we

1281
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,600
Speaker 4: don't know when we'll see Totty again to apologize. The

1282
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 4: following weekend, their group is playing Counterstrike and we invited

1283
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 4: Gareth to play. He says he's with Toddy right now

1284
01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 4: and thinks he should wait until we can all apologize.

1285
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 2: That's what we're.

1286
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:50,840
Speaker 4: Trying to do but we've been trying to do that

1287
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:54,280
Speaker 4: for like forever. You're not. You know, we're giving one

1288
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 4: hundred percent, you're giving us ten percent.

1289
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1290
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 4: I respond by asking when they will be back in

1291
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 4: town because we want this result. He doesn't answer. Toddy

1292
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:07,560
Speaker 4: then joins our call while we are playing games. Gareth

1293
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 4: did not join. Totty joins. I say, hey, what's up to?

1294
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:13,000
Speaker 3: What?

1295
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 2: She says?

1296
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:17,720
Speaker 4: Just just here to make you guys uncomfortable like I do.

1297
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 4: I can tell she's coming into the call combative and

1298
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 4: probably hoping we push back. Toddy that doesn't talk again

1299
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:27,760
Speaker 4: until we finish our game, which took about twenty more minutes.

1300
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 4: So she's there. She's probably making grunts and sounds. I'd

1301
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:31,479
Speaker 4: like to let you know that she's there.

1302
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, like coughing, yeah, your throat, yeah like yeah right,

1303
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 2: like what was that? Yeah?

1304
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 4: H She sat there silently listening to us play again.

1305
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 4: Once the game is over, one of the friends leaves

1306
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 4: and goes to bed. Me and one other group member

1307
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 4: are left with Totty. This other group member is fairly

1308
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:53,000
Speaker 4: new and isn't super involved with the conversation, so they

1309
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 4: stay silent and just listen.

1310
01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like, ope, as soon as

1311
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 2: Toddy like joined, he needs to like press record on

1312
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 2: his phone, I record this conversation.

1313
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 4: Yeah. Well yeah, both hearts on Discord and you're probably

1314
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:06,640
Speaker 4: on PC.

1315
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:09,479
Speaker 2: Well I'm just thinking, like, just just have your phone

1316
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 2: next to the computer. Yeah, because I'm just thinking that

1317
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 2: that she is going to like try to ruffle some

1318
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 2: feathers in here. You're to say something and then with

1319
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 2: that mentality yeah yeah, and then she's gonna like tell

1320
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:22,280
Speaker 2: a different story to Gareth, like how it happens.

1321
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:26,520
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, they're like all talking crap about me. Yeah exactly, Yeah, okay, exactly, gotcha.

1322
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 4: This is when Toddy goes, you guys want to talk

1323
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 4: about how you are fing a holes. Toddy is very

1324
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,360
Speaker 4: clearly looking for a fight, and I know this, so

1325
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:35,880
Speaker 4: I try to remain calm and just apologize. This is

1326
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 4: when you just stayed completely neutral, like normal, and you're

1327
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:42,720
Speaker 4: like no, no, She's like she's gotta keep I don't

1328
01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:45,440
Speaker 4: want to staggers at you to like make you break right, Like.

1329
01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:47,439
Speaker 2: She's gonna bring up things like yeah, your a holes

1330
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:50,000
Speaker 2: when you did this and that and then yeah, or

1331
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 2: I wonder what would happen if they just stayed silent, yeah,

1332
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 2: and just let her keep going.

1333
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:57,800
Speaker 4: Also, sorry, op, but when she joined the call after

1334
01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,680
Speaker 4: your game finished, whatever you because I know you can't

1335
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:02,720
Speaker 4: pause it. Yeah, you guys should have like, all right,

1336
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 4: what's up? Yeah, because you would have every member, you

1337
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:08,640
Speaker 4: would have at least three witnesses, four witnesses, to be like,

1338
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 4: get we have this story straight. Yeah, this is what's happening.

1339
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 2: Why are you here?

1340
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 4: Like, hey, Toddy, Like, we're sorry, but like we just

1341
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 4: wanted to hang out with Gareth and just Gareth alone. Yeah, yeah,

1342
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 4: is that okay. She also waited till the other group

1343
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 4: members left, and it was basically just me to talk to,

1344
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 4: which felt very targeted. I say, I thought we were

1345
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:30,640
Speaker 4: going to wait to do this in person, but we

1346
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:33,680
Speaker 4: can do this now. I then apologize for about ten

1347
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 4: minutes for the way it was worded and all that,

1348
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 4: and even tried taking most of the blame since I

1349
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:41,640
Speaker 4: did send the message. Toddy doesn't say thanks or that

1350
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:45,240
Speaker 4: she accepted my apology, but she just says okay, cool

1351
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:49,080
Speaker 4: the whole time. But we get through the apology and

1352
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,320
Speaker 4: it seems like she feels better. The situation has mostly

1353
01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:55,720
Speaker 4: been diffused. Toddy then says, Gareth needs to talk to

1354
01:03:55,760 --> 01:04:00,200
Speaker 4: me about the wedding Airbnb now. Context for this, yes,

1355
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:02,640
Speaker 4: we asked the wedding party if they would be down

1356
01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 4: to split an Airbnb for the whole wedding party to

1357
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 4: stay in the weekend of the wedding. We initially asked

1358
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 4: the group about this idea a year in advance and

1359
01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:13,280
Speaker 4: gave an ideal for total cost. Then six months prior

1360
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 4: we brought it up again and specified the costs for

1361
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:20,920
Speaker 4: each person. Both Toddy and Gareth agreed to this. We

1362
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 4: gave everyone the option for flexible payment plans if they

1363
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 4: needed it. We even said we would be willing to

1364
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:28,520
Speaker 4: help or find a solution to make things happen if

1365
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,680
Speaker 4: again they needed it. Toddy dropped out of the wedding

1366
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 4: after we booked the airbnb, so my partner and I

1367
01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 4: had to eat their portion of the airbnbfee. Totty says

1368
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 4: they are tight on money right now and Gareth would

1369
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,560
Speaker 4: need to talk to me. I figured he would ask

1370
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 4: to pay portions over a longer period or something, so

1371
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:49,120
Speaker 4: I said okay. Totty says she has been looking for

1372
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:52,560
Speaker 4: a job, you know, I respond saying I get it,

1373
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:56,560
Speaker 4: I understand, to which Totty says, to which Totty says, well,

1374
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 4: you don't get it because you're a NEPO baby. I

1375
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:02,120
Speaker 4: didn't respond to this. In fact, I sat in silence

1376
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 4: and didn't answer at all twenty seconds of silence. Later,

1377
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 4: Toddy says, I didn't mean that as an insult. By

1378
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:11,120
Speaker 4: the way, if my parents just handed me a job,

1379
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 4: i'd be happy to I just said yeah, okay, and

1380
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 4: then Toddy left the call. Clearly, the NEPO baby comment

1381
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 4: was meant to be an insult, but I'm not a

1382
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:25,280
Speaker 4: Nepo baby, to get that clear. So me and the

1383
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 4: other guy in the group just laughed about it after

1384
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:29,560
Speaker 4: Toddy left the call. I got into every university I

1385
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:33,280
Speaker 4: applied for, including UW direct admission to the engineering program,

1386
01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 4: and entered every summer after high school. My parents didn't

1387
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 4: hand me a job, I would have gotten hired there

1388
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 4: no matter what, because I worked my butt off to

1389
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 4: get where I was. The next morning, I texted Gareth

1390
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:47,560
Speaker 4: and ask about the Airbnb, figuring he would just ask

1391
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 4: for a payment, plant or something. He then responds by saying,

1392
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 4: if it isn't clear if Toddy was still welcome at

1393
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:56,760
Speaker 4: the Airbnb since she dropped out of the wedding. Mind you,

1394
01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 4: we told everyone at the startup that if their partners

1395
01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:01,640
Speaker 4: were not in the wedding party, they couldn't come because

1396
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,360
Speaker 4: we were at capacity for the airbnb and we wanted

1397
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 4: to be just for the wedding party. Garrett did not

1398
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 4: mention money at all, like Totty talked about the night before. Instead,

1399
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 4: he said if Totty couldn't come, he probably wouldn't stay

1400
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 4: at the Airbnb either. I respond by saying, no, she

1401
01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:20,320
Speaker 4: can't because she's not in the wedding party, and there

1402
01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 4: are several other people whose partners aren't in the wedding

1403
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:25,440
Speaker 4: party that aren't staying in the house either. He then

1404
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 4: responds saying that's fair, and only then that money is

1405
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:30,919
Speaker 4: kind of tight. At this point, I'm at a loss

1406
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:33,040
Speaker 4: because it seems like both Garrett and Totty thought we

1407
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:36,080
Speaker 4: would let Totty come without paying her portion.

1408
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:40,520
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Really, like, I don't get why they

1409
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:45,160
Speaker 2: would try that after under like after knowing that she

1410
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,360
Speaker 2: wouldn't be able to be there in the first place,

1411
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:50,240
Speaker 2: like she they knew that from the start, and then

1412
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:52,480
Speaker 2: she dropped out, and they're like Okay, well can she

1413
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:56,120
Speaker 2: like still come though when like, y, that's not it,

1414
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:58,680
Speaker 2: and then to come with not paying Yeah.

1415
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:02,080
Speaker 4: No, I think again. And they're trying to do anything

1416
01:07:02,120 --> 01:07:04,640
Speaker 4: and everything to be like oh Bi, you're the villain,

1417
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 4: you're you did this, Like they're trying to like be

1418
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:10,880
Speaker 4: like okay, opid opie had a fault there. Use that's

1419
01:07:10,920 --> 01:07:12,480
Speaker 4: that's where that's our scape go. Yeah.

1420
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess.

1421
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:17,200
Speaker 4: Let Toddy without paying her portion, which would help them

1422
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:19,680
Speaker 4: save money, or that we would say no and Gareth

1423
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:22,720
Speaker 4: would also not come, which again saves the money and

1424
01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:26,600
Speaker 4: we lose money. It clearly never crossed their minds that

1425
01:07:26,640 --> 01:07:29,160
Speaker 4: we would let Toddy come if she paid her portion,

1426
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:32,680
Speaker 4: which would invalidate their whole reasoning for not wanting to

1427
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:36,640
Speaker 4: come because of money. At this point, everyone else in

1428
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:38,840
Speaker 4: the party agreed to go and we would be at

1429
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:42,080
Speaker 4: the airbnb for two days before the wedding. Because of this,

1430
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,680
Speaker 4: my partner and I planned a ton of activities and

1431
01:07:44,760 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 4: games to do those two days, and the airbnb had

1432
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 4: grown from living quarters to a long weekend of bonding

1433
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:54,760
Speaker 4: with the whole group. Now, this airbnb scenario was just

1434
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:57,760
Speaker 4: between me and Gareth, so I wasn't worried about being

1435
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 4: nice at this point because no one else is involved.

1436
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:03,520
Speaker 4: So I then tell Gareth that this whole thing makes

1437
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:06,600
Speaker 4: no sense, that we are already losing money because Toddy

1438
01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 4: dropped out. I told him that this was crappy on

1439
01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:11,480
Speaker 4: his part because we told them when we asked them

1440
01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 4: a year ago that the airbnb would probably happen, and

1441
01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:17,200
Speaker 4: six months ago when we started booking, we were flexible

1442
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:19,920
Speaker 4: with payment options. But instead of asking about that, Toddy

1443
01:08:19,960 --> 01:08:22,719
Speaker 4: and Gareth went with dropping out after we had already

1444
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:24,639
Speaker 4: booked it. I tell Gareth that if he's not committed

1445
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 4: to the airbnb because it had become so much more

1446
01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:30,200
Speaker 4: than just sleeping arrangements and was a much larger experience

1447
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:32,639
Speaker 4: for the wedding party, then maybe being in the wedding

1448
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:35,120
Speaker 4: wasn't the best idea since he clearly wasn't that committed

1449
01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 4: in the first place. He then doesn't answer it for

1450
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:41,639
Speaker 4: three days. Like again, he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll

1451
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:45,320
Speaker 4: handle things. I'll handle things. Doesn't plan anything does. He's like,

1452
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:48,680
Speaker 4: I'm waiting on you guys, even though he said I'm

1453
01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:50,599
Speaker 4: a oh, I sent Toddy to talk to you about stuff.

1454
01:08:51,439 --> 01:08:54,840
Speaker 2: That's so annoying. It's it sucks too. I feel like, oh,

1455
01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:59,240
Speaker 2: p could do a better job like getting ahead of

1456
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:02,720
Speaker 2: this stuff, not trying to say like, oh, you could

1457
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:04,400
Speaker 2: have done this that would have prevented any of this.

1458
01:09:04,560 --> 01:09:06,360
Speaker 2: Like I feel like this stuff would have happened anyway,

1459
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:09,439
Speaker 2: But I feel like right now, and he might ask

1460
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:10,920
Speaker 2: advice like at the end of the story, but I

1461
01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:13,280
Speaker 2: feel like right now he's he's like complaining about all

1462
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:16,519
Speaker 2: of this stuff, and then it seems like, yeah, he's

1463
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:18,719
Speaker 2: just kind of letting things go, which is very nice

1464
01:09:18,760 --> 01:09:22,040
Speaker 2: of him, but you know, I feel like these people

1465
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,679
Speaker 2: need to be spoken to directly about what they're doing,

1466
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:25,960
Speaker 2: and especially her.

1467
01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:28,840
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, you need to have Like again,

1468
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:31,599
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of the conversations should be

1469
01:09:32,080 --> 01:09:34,920
Speaker 4: there's like two different scenarios the video games with Toddy

1470
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:37,080
Speaker 4: joining the calls should have been not just with you

1471
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:39,960
Speaker 4: and Gareth Opie, it should have been with everyone and

1472
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,600
Speaker 4: again you guys had that conversation, But it seems like

1473
01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:44,960
Speaker 4: every time it's like just for the most part, it's

1474
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:48,320
Speaker 4: you and Gareth where you take a lead of the group.

1475
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,240
Speaker 4: And now the wedding and slash Airbnb portion should have

1476
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:55,240
Speaker 4: been a conversation between you and your fiance with Toddy

1477
01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:55,839
Speaker 4: and Gareth.

1478
01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:56,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1479
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:59,640
Speaker 4: Three days later he responds and says he's uncomfortable with

1480
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:02,800
Speaker 4: this issue and is out. Here's the part where I'm

1481
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:05,560
Speaker 4: definitely the a hole. For three weeks, I tried to

1482
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:08,880
Speaker 4: be as nice and accommodating as possible, taking mean comments

1483
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:11,639
Speaker 4: from Toddy and apologizing for something that I probably didn't

1484
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:14,920
Speaker 4: need to apologize for. At this point, I'm sure that

1485
01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:17,000
Speaker 4: I no longer want to be friends with Gareth, and

1486
01:10:17,080 --> 01:10:20,559
Speaker 4: I definitely don't want to see Toddy ever again. Gaming

1487
01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:23,320
Speaker 4: situation aside, my best friend of eight years just dropped

1488
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,280
Speaker 4: out of a wedding because we wouldn't let his partner

1489
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:28,320
Speaker 4: stay at the Airbnb for free and screwed me and

1490
01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 4: my partner out of hundreds of dollars because they chose

1491
01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 4: to wait until well after we booked to bring up

1492
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:38,200
Speaker 4: their financial issues. So I wrote a long response and

1493
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:41,519
Speaker 4: pretty much stated all my previous points and their flawed

1494
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:44,680
Speaker 4: money issues, reasoning it was a long message and I

1495
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:46,680
Speaker 4: knew they wouldn't read it, but I needed to get

1496
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:49,559
Speaker 4: it out of my system either way. I told the

1497
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:51,559
Speaker 4: group they can obviously still be friends with Gareth and

1498
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:53,960
Speaker 4: Toddy and I wouldn't hold it against him or anything

1499
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,160
Speaker 4: as the matter was separate from the gaming situation. They

1500
01:10:57,160 --> 01:10:59,320
Speaker 4: thanked me and said they were all still bitter about

1501
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:01,559
Speaker 4: the gaming thing, and we're pissed about the wedding stuff

1502
01:11:01,600 --> 01:11:04,320
Speaker 4: as they are all also in the wedding, so they

1503
01:11:04,320 --> 01:11:07,960
Speaker 4: were also done with Gareth and Totty. I've talked about

1504
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:10,320
Speaker 4: this with the entire group and the people outside of

1505
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:13,400
Speaker 4: the group as well as some family, and everyone seems

1506
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:16,200
Speaker 4: to be in agreement that Gareth and Totti overreacted about

1507
01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:20,400
Speaker 4: the gaming situation and the airbnb thing was super crappy.

1508
01:11:21,240 --> 01:11:24,799
Speaker 2: My goodness. Yeah, I know there's a little bit more,

1509
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:27,960
Speaker 2: but I just am waiting for them to just like

1510
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:32,120
Speaker 2: talk to them directly about all of this. Talk about

1511
01:11:32,120 --> 01:11:34,760
Speaker 2: what Tassi has been like saying to you about how

1512
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:35,880
Speaker 2: she called you a nepo baby.

1513
01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:40,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was gonna say, why didn't you bring that up? Yeah, Gareth,

1514
01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:41,920
Speaker 4: I feel like again the way you, I mean, the

1515
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:46,639
Speaker 4: way you talk to Gareth is like very relaxed, laid back,

1516
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:49,679
Speaker 4: bro code kind of thing. But like at this point,

1517
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:53,559
Speaker 4: it's like, dude, she sucks. I was like she was

1518
01:11:53,680 --> 01:11:56,360
Speaker 4: seeing she was trying to get a rise out of me. Yeah,

1519
01:11:56,520 --> 01:11:59,200
Speaker 4: we have I have witness. We have a witness.

1520
01:11:59,280 --> 01:12:02,000
Speaker 2: We got a witness. But yeah, and like we we

1521
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:04,719
Speaker 2: were bringing this up again, it wasn't anything about her,

1522
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:06,840
Speaker 2: but now that she's acting this way, now it is

1523
01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 2: about her. Now I don't want her there because of

1524
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:13,040
Speaker 2: how she's talking to us and like and how she's

1525
01:12:13,439 --> 01:12:15,479
Speaker 2: I don't know, I a opie. I want you to

1526
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,400
Speaker 2: stop apologizing. Stop apologizing for things you don't need to

1527
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,200
Speaker 2: apologize for us, mostly as this girl.

1528
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:21,320
Speaker 4: Well, he tried to be he's trying to be like

1529
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:23,720
Speaker 4: civil again. He wants like everyone to be like all right,

1530
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:26,240
Speaker 4: like I get it, Like I shouldn't have apologized for this.

1531
01:12:26,320 --> 01:12:28,800
Speaker 4: And he's like, I just wanted my best friend there

1532
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:30,920
Speaker 4: or one of my best friends there, right, I want

1533
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:35,080
Speaker 4: my best friend back. But again he's been webbed into Toddy.

1534
01:12:35,360 --> 01:12:39,280
Speaker 4: Toddy's like, mold of like that's my boyfriend. Yeah, he's mine.

1535
01:12:39,320 --> 01:12:41,719
Speaker 4: Now I have you know, I wrapped him. He's wrapped

1536
01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:44,840
Speaker 4: around my thumb kind of thing or vice versa. So,

1537
01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:48,000
Speaker 4: but let's go ahead and finish the story. They also

1538
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:50,160
Speaker 4: said we should have expected an overreaction for them, as

1539
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:53,960
Speaker 4: it has happened in the past. However, that's all friends

1540
01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:56,879
Speaker 4: and family, so I'm sure they are a little biased.

1541
01:12:57,479 --> 01:12:59,759
Speaker 4: I want some outside opinions because even though I feel

1542
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:02,040
Speaker 4: like I handle the situation to the best of my ability,

1543
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 4: I am still upset that I'm losing Gareth as a friend.

1544
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:07,919
Speaker 4: I know that was long as heck, but the situation

1545
01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:09,840
Speaker 4: is over now, and I didn't want to post it

1546
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:12,479
Speaker 4: while while it was happening, because both Garrett and Toddy

1547
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:15,800
Speaker 4: spent a lot of time on Reddit. If they found this,

1548
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,080
Speaker 4: they wouldn't know it was about them because of how

1549
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:21,200
Speaker 4: many details are in here, and before this ended that

1550
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:23,439
Speaker 4: there was a chance I could have salvaged their friendship.

1551
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:27,479
Speaker 4: Posting this would definitely hurt that chance. Now, now that

1552
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:30,280
Speaker 4: everything's said and done, I want some opinions. Let me

1553
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:33,080
Speaker 4: know if anything needs clarification, as I probably skimmed over

1554
01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:38,479
Speaker 4: some topics. Nor, your friend is no longer your friend.

1555
01:13:38,360 --> 01:13:42,240
Speaker 4: He became like some puppet to Toddy. You know, he

1556
01:13:42,560 --> 01:13:45,559
Speaker 4: did whatever she said, and the fact that they over

1557
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:49,479
Speaker 4: like they blew up at literally a simple ask and

1558
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:52,200
Speaker 4: you even told him like, hey, like we just want

1559
01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:54,400
Speaker 4: to we want Gareth back exactly.

1560
01:13:54,560 --> 01:13:58,000
Speaker 2: And yeah, now, it's like at a point where it's like, yeah,

1561
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:00,360
Speaker 2: we want you back because you've been acting weird, bro,

1562
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:04,800
Speaker 2: Like why are you actually this way, like responding this

1563
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:06,360
Speaker 2: way to things, and like I've been friends with you

1564
01:14:06,439 --> 01:14:09,439
Speaker 2: for a long time. Let's just be completely open and

1565
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:12,120
Speaker 2: honest about the weirdness of this situation, because I feel

1566
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:15,320
Speaker 2: like at first, with how the problems started, it was

1567
01:14:15,439 --> 01:14:17,280
Speaker 2: very much the kind of thing of like, Okay, well

1568
01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:19,360
Speaker 2: we have this problem, but we know it could come

1569
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:20,680
Speaker 2: off the wrong way, so we don't want to say

1570
01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:22,840
Speaker 2: it in the wrong way. We tried to say it

1571
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:24,360
Speaker 2: in a good way, but it still came up the

1572
01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:27,240
Speaker 2: wrong way. So it's that kind of situation. Is a

1573
01:14:27,240 --> 01:14:29,840
Speaker 2: lot of like tiptoeing to try to make the right move,

1574
01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:32,800
Speaker 2: it seems, but it seems like they're still trying to

1575
01:14:32,840 --> 01:14:35,120
Speaker 2: do that even with all these added problems. So we

1576
01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:38,800
Speaker 2: just need to like completely just peel all the layers back,

1577
01:14:39,120 --> 01:14:42,240
Speaker 2: look under. I do can't think of metaphors to go

1578
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:44,240
Speaker 2: along with that, but like, you know, you just gotta

1579
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:46,120
Speaker 2: look at all the dirty details and be like, yeah,

1580
01:14:46,120 --> 01:14:48,880
Speaker 2: this is how I felt when I did this, Like yeah,

1581
01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:51,200
Speaker 2: that was weird when she did that, you know, talk

1582
01:14:51,200 --> 01:14:53,200
Speaker 2: about it all, and talk about how you want each

1583
01:14:53,240 --> 01:14:53,920
Speaker 2: other back