WEBVTT - Dear Banya: Paperwork Schmaperwork

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<v Speaker 1>Scrubbing in with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio

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<v Speaker 1>and two times People's Choice Award winning podcasts Hell Love everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>We are scrubbing it.

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<v Speaker 3>I like it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you can't see, but it's spear of fingers hello everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>By the way, here's a fun fact about Tanya. When

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<v Speaker 3>she records commercials for Kiss, she waves because then now

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<v Speaker 3>I start with hi everyone, it's Tanya, right, Tanya, And

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<v Speaker 3>she waves to get into the hey, the headspace of

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<v Speaker 3>actually someone actually saying hello to you.

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<v Speaker 4>I want to smile too.

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<v Speaker 1>I want the inflection and ffliction of my boys to

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<v Speaker 1>sound like I'm saying hey, I'm waving, not.

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<v Speaker 3>Acting like actually saying hi to you. So she waves,

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<v Speaker 3>No one, I will help if I'm in the studio,

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<v Speaker 3>and I will wait, wait back.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just partnership right there.

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<v Speaker 3>It makes your smile more, which makes it a better commercial.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. And

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<v Speaker 2>now the when I hear her on.

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<v Speaker 1>The radio, but I'll do it now on the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everyone, scrubbing anything, I'll wave every time.

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<v Speaker 3>Great love that you remember back in the day when

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<v Speaker 3>we were to like rehearse your commercials, Yes, yeah, that's crazy.

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<v Speaker 3>When she first started doing commercials, she had like she

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<v Speaker 3>was nervous about it. You know, we had to run

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<v Speaker 3>it a few times them like one hundred the tone right, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, like a little duck like learning how to walk.

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<v Speaker 2>They do Okay, did that sound okay?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeahould say that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Well, especially the news too. The news was like

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<v Speaker 1>a whole.

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<v Speaker 2>No new intimidate Meal Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>There's like an inflection that you have to have, like

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<v Speaker 3>ending a story going into the next story. It's like

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<v Speaker 3>if you want to keep the train going clear.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't act like there's a set period, just keep it going.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, there's a period, so I can't keep it. Guy,

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<v Speaker 1>I talk, Yeah, that's how I read your text messages.

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<v Speaker 2>That's funny. I don't think that's how you talk. Well, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I really have been.

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<v Speaker 6>It's interesting, you know, I forget that you're just y'all

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<v Speaker 6>are all on just a national radio station, and like

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<v Speaker 6>my cousins and people text me and be like it's

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<v Speaker 6>so crazy hearing you know, them talk, and then your

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<v Speaker 6>name's mentioned or like Ryan will mention your name.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like we mentioned your name.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, you come up quite a bit.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, honored truly, but it's so crazy because I'm just

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<v Speaker 6>you know, y'all are my friends.

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<v Speaker 2>Y'all are a big, big deal in this world, big

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<v Speaker 2>deal in this radio world, national, nationally.

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<v Speaker 4>That's right, that's right.

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<v Speaker 2>And don't you forget it.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, don't you forget it?

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<v Speaker 6>Speaking of coworkers, are first, dear bomb. Your question leads

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<v Speaker 6>right into.

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<v Speaker 3>It, sure does. It's from an anonymous scrubber who says,

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<v Speaker 3>dear beca Tanya Mark. Andi's the longtime listener here. I

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<v Speaker 3>never miss an episode and I look forward to it

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<v Speaker 3>twice a week. I need help. I'm falling hard for

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<v Speaker 3>a close friend I've worked with for about a year

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<v Speaker 3>and a half, and for the past year our roles

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<v Speaker 3>have merged, so we spend a lot of time together

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<v Speaker 3>at work, texting daily, hanging out outside of work. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>openly out and a few months ago she told me

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<v Speaker 3>she's by Our conversations have gotten deeper, more personal, and

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<v Speaker 3>honestly flirty. She often compliments me, saying things like you

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<v Speaker 3>look beautiful, well, you always do. Recently, ad a tough

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<v Speaker 3>week and when I saw her, she gave me the

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<v Speaker 3>warmest hug and rub my back, and I'm melted. We're

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<v Speaker 3>both in our late thirties with kids who now hang

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<v Speaker 3>out to which makes me fall even harder. The tricky part,

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like we both avoid being alone together for

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<v Speaker 3>too long, almost like we're keeping a buffer. Her divorce

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<v Speaker 3>will be final in about a month. Friends have even

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<v Speaker 3>commented on our connection. But I'm scared to make a

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<v Speaker 3>move and losing her. I've been working on myself while single,

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<v Speaker 3>and she's doing the same. Part of me thinks I

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<v Speaker 3>should wait until her divorce is final, but another part

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<v Speaker 3>of me wonders if I'm just pretending not to be

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<v Speaker 3>in love with her and hoping it fades. She's not

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<v Speaker 3>only beautiful, she is kind, loyal, honest, and has the

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<v Speaker 3>most compassionate heart. What should I do here? I'd love

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<v Speaker 3>any advice.

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<v Speaker 4>Make your move, Yeah, make the move.

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<v Speaker 2>I also.

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<v Speaker 6>I will compliment someone like I'll be like, oh, you know, Tanya, you.

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<v Speaker 2>Look so beautiful today. But if I was like you

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<v Speaker 2>always do.

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<v Speaker 4>I would definitely think you're flirting.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, there's just like it's different giving a compliment, but then.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like it's like, oh, I love your outfit, I'd

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<v Speaker 1>love to see you without it.

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<v Speaker 7>Onto That definitely is a tall tale sign of flirting. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 7>but I think y'all both are feeling it. I I

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<v Speaker 7>don't know if it's a I mean, I think you

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<v Speaker 7>could wait until her, if her divorce is finally maybe

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<v Speaker 7>she's waiting for that thing, keeping keeping y'alls alone, time limited,

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<v Speaker 7>Maybe the vanish is final.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but like these paperwork and stuff, this stuff takes

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<v Speaker 1>so much longer PaperWorks work. I say, you dig in now,

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<v Speaker 1>there's no time.

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<v Speaker 4>If not now.

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<v Speaker 2>When?

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<v Speaker 1>If not you, who, if not her?

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<v Speaker 2>Who?

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<v Speaker 4>If it's not now, it's not if it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Not why no? Not here?

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<v Speaker 4>Not here? Where?

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<v Speaker 2>Here's my here's my thing?

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<v Speaker 1>Though?

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<v Speaker 2>When when you're going through it?

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<v Speaker 3>Because that's why?

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<v Speaker 6>Yes?

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Is it like one of those things where there might

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<v Speaker 2>be uh some legality things of making sure the divorce

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<v Speaker 2>is final in terms of child support.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's involved. I think wait for them. It's only

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<v Speaker 3>a month. Keep keep flirting, keep establishing a foundation. Divorce

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<v Speaker 3>is final, we move in.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is a month, a month away.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't think it's gonna be a month.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's gonna be more well what we have.

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<v Speaker 4>But I'm just saying she might.

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<v Speaker 3>Think, you know, what's in a month? The fourth of

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<v Speaker 3>July is a month from today.

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<v Speaker 6>That's cra Also, no one wished me Happy Pride as

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<v Speaker 6>part of the l g B t q U.

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<v Speaker 4>I mon, it's your your month only.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it's not just my month, correct, it's everyone's month.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, happy Pride month. Are you offended that we didn't

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<v Speaker 1>tell you?

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<v Speaker 7>No?

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, But he was just saying, you know what's

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<v Speaker 2>in the month fourth of July?

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<v Speaker 8>So I just skipped Rainbow flag?

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<v Speaker 7>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Why are you rushing Pride month?

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<v Speaker 1>Mark?

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<v Speaker 4>Are you going to the Pride Pride?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Haley wanted to do something for Pride,

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<v Speaker 2>but I don't know what we're gonna do. I've never

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<v Speaker 2>been to the parade. We've been to like the concert

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<v Speaker 2>that because Haley performed with Fletcher.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but it was a little late for me personally.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't have a big crowd, yeah, and I don't

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<v Speaker 6>love like a big crowd during the day and like

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<v Speaker 6>the heat.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, but we'll probably do something. Okay, I'll let

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<v Speaker 2>you know if you want to.

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<v Speaker 1>Love me not because I might be there as well.

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<v Speaker 2>You might be roaming the streets.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah on Sunday?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh really?

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>With whom wouldn't you like to know. Yeah, my husband.

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<v Speaker 4>Well yeah, so anyway, by.

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<v Speaker 3>The way, I haven't eat pride story. I thought this

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<v Speaker 3>is really cool in Utah. Utah is a very conservative state, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>and like many conservative states, they're trying to ban pride flags,

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<v Speaker 3>which is because we live in a weird, messed up world.

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<v Speaker 3>But whatever, so Utah did. They said, you can no

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<v Speaker 3>longer fly any flags on government property except the American flag,

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<v Speaker 3>the state flag of Utah, an official city flag or

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<v Speaker 3>maybe an Olympic flag or something like that. Just a

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<v Speaker 3>strict list of all these things. So Salt Lake City

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<v Speaker 3>said fine. They immediately designed a rainbow city flag with

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<v Speaker 3>the city the logo Salt Lake City in the midst

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<v Speaker 3>of a huge rainbow, and they fly it proudly oh

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<v Speaker 3>the state capitol. Because that's not legal because they made

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<v Speaker 3>it an official city flag, and I rule, how would.

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<v Speaker 4>They do that?

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<v Speaker 3>What do you mean?

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<v Speaker 2>How did they do that?

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<v Speaker 3>Which part put.

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<v Speaker 1>It on the They put it like up and they

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<v Speaker 1>just like redesigned the flag.

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<v Speaker 3>They read they made you can have multiple city flags.

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<v Speaker 1>Sol has a logo on I don't know the Salt

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<v Speaker 1>Lake City Excuse me, I don't know the UTA. That's

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<v Speaker 1>a flag let's do it like if it was a

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<v Speaker 1>United States flag. So they would just take out like

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<v Speaker 1>the blue and the white wait, yeah, the blue and

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<v Speaker 1>the white stripes, and they would make that like rainbow,

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<v Speaker 1>and then they would put the fifty stars like in

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<v Speaker 1>the thing.

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<v Speaker 3>We have red and white stripes on the American flag.

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<v Speaker 2>Another day, spread and white red and white stripes.

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<v Speaker 3>Are they put You're not to mess with the American flag.

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<v Speaker 3>That's not like they're fine flat and city flags are

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<v Speaker 3>a little bit flags. And by the way, your excuse

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<v Speaker 3>for not knowing what you to off state flag that's

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<v Speaker 3>like this is.

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<v Speaker 10>The there's a Salt Lake city flag and then the

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<v Speaker 10>new one, the cool one.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you for the visuals, because that's what I was

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<v Speaker 1>really needing.

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<v Speaker 8>Okay, this is this is the one.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh cute picturing the blue and white of the that's

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<v Speaker 6>what you were thinking.

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<v Speaker 10>Yes, yes, they have like it looks like a flower

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<v Speaker 10>or something, some kind of emblem.

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<v Speaker 8>They just put that on top of the rain.

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<v Speaker 4>But okay, okay, thank you.

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<v Speaker 3>I thought that was neat for you know.

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<v Speaker 6>What's interesting is a lot of people are like, oh, like,

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<v Speaker 6>don't shove that in our face and blah blah blah,

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<v Speaker 6>like you don't have to have it on everything. But

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<v Speaker 6>I saw there's this commercial and like, a it's a

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<v Speaker 6>different country, I think Sweden or something, and they were

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<v Speaker 6>it's they were talking about pride, and it's this gay

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<v Speaker 6>man sitting on the train and.

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<v Speaker 2>It's this other guy that like looks like would.

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<v Speaker 6>Be someone who wouldn't agree with this man's lifestyle or

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<v Speaker 6>would say he wouldn't agree with it, sits down in

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<v Speaker 6>front of him and like is staring at him, and

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<v Speaker 6>he gets uncomfortable and like uncrosses his legs and tries

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<v Speaker 6>to look more like masculine, and the guy like pulls

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<v Speaker 6>up his sleeve and he has a rainbow bracelet on,

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<v Speaker 6>and so it's like, all of a sudden, he felt

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<v Speaker 6>safe to like be himself because he saw like the

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<v Speaker 6>guy wanted him to see, like he was a you know,

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<v Speaker 6>all out and I felt like, wow, it was because

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<v Speaker 6>sometimes I hear people say that, and I feel that

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<v Speaker 6>way about other types of flags where or like symbolism

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<v Speaker 6>or rats, you know, specific things where I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 6>like that's so in your face, and I know that

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<v Speaker 6>everyone has their opinion on those things, but it literally

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<v Speaker 6>makes people in the community feel safe when they see,

0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:49.720
<v Speaker 6>like a business who has that, You're like, Okay, I

0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.760
<v Speaker 6>can go in there and I'm gonna be protected. Yeah,

0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:54.480
<v Speaker 6>And so it's a little it goes so much further

0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:57.199
<v Speaker 6>than being like, I'm representing what I want to represent,

0:10:57.240 --> 0:10:59.240
<v Speaker 6>Like it's a sign of safety for those who aren't

0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:02.760
<v Speaker 6>even in the commune unity to wear and show that

0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.200
<v Speaker 6>so that people who are don't feel safe in other

0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:08.080
<v Speaker 6>spaces have that safety when they see that sign.

0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:09.920
<v Speaker 3>Right, they're not the same thing because a lot of

0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:11.520
<v Speaker 3>those hats and flags are threatening.

0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:15.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they want you to feel, yes, for sure.

0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:18.360
<v Speaker 6>So I think that I think if you have had

0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:19.959
<v Speaker 6>those feelings about the room of a flag and be

0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.240
<v Speaker 6>like you don't need we don't need to see it. Whatever,

0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:26.719
<v Speaker 6>it is important, and I think it's important that you

0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:30.520
<v Speaker 6>know that it's important. Same you know, and it's important

0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.720
<v Speaker 6>to know your flags, but.

0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:36.840
<v Speaker 4>Not I know the American flag.

0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:40.079
<v Speaker 2>You know, you knew two of the colors, you knew

0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:40.640
<v Speaker 2>there was a third.

0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I knew there was a square in the corner of

0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:47.200
<v Speaker 1>the stars.

0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:50.960
<v Speaker 3>The stripe to represent do you know how many stripes

0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:51.160
<v Speaker 3>there are?

0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.640
<v Speaker 4>Thirteen? That's right, colonies, that's it.

0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:55.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there you go.

0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:57.800
<v Speaker 8>What about the stars? How many stars are they?

0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:03.920
<v Speaker 4>This number of states right, this which is fifty one?

0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:11.640
<v Speaker 3>You got your eye on Yeah, yes, it was over real.

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:14.800
<v Speaker 2>She was thinking deck of cards.

0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:24.040
<v Speaker 9>Yeah, all right, we have a confused scrubber who's written

0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:26.439
<v Speaker 9>in but first start a year.

0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.080
<v Speaker 3>You just said we just it's fifty two. You just

0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:35.079
<v Speaker 3>said it. Yes, cards, Yes, same as the white keys

0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:35.679
<v Speaker 3>on the piano.

0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.360
<v Speaker 1>Nobody knows that, Okay, I do know.

0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:58.760
<v Speaker 6>Alright, we hate to see it, but we have a

0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:01.000
<v Speaker 6>confused scrubber who has written in.

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.160
<v Speaker 3>Hi have Becatania Easton and Mark. I got dropped on.

0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm not a day one scrubber. But my best friend

0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.560
<v Speaker 3>introduced me to the pod back in twenty twenty one,

0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.120
<v Speaker 3>and I instantly became obsessed. I went back and listened

0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.000
<v Speaker 3>to all the old episodes, and now that same friend

0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.320
<v Speaker 3>and I giggle along every week together. Thank you for

0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 3>the Joe You've brought me in so many others. Backstory

0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.120
<v Speaker 3>on me. I'm twenty nine. I've never been in a relationship.

0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:23.600
<v Speaker 3>If you had asked me why a few years ago,

0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:26.200
<v Speaker 3>I would have said, well, no one's ever been interested.

0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:29.800
<v Speaker 3>But now, after some self reflection, personal growth, I know

0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:31.680
<v Speaker 3>it's because I've put up a lot of walls and

0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.240
<v Speaker 3>guarded myself from getting hurt by never putting myself in

0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.320
<v Speaker 3>a situation where that might be the case. I'm fiercely

0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.840
<v Speaker 3>independent and I'm proud of that, but it also leads

0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.840
<v Speaker 3>me into patterns where I don't let people in very easily. Well,

0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:45.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm torn. I met a guy, and when I'm with him,

0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:46.760
<v Speaker 3>I have a great time. But then when I'm not

0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:48.440
<v Speaker 3>with him and we're just texting, I'm not sure if

0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:50.280
<v Speaker 3>I'm not into him. I don't know if I really

0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:51.920
<v Speaker 3>like this guy or if I just like the attention

0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:54.920
<v Speaker 3>that I'm getting because I've never experienced that before. If

0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.360
<v Speaker 3>I do just like the attention, is it okay? If

0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.360
<v Speaker 3>I keep going on dates with him. I try to

0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.360
<v Speaker 3>remind myself if this is a very normal thing to

0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.640
<v Speaker 3>date and to see where things go. It's and experience

0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:06.040
<v Speaker 3>people typically have in their college years and young twenties.

0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:08.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm just now experiencing it for the first time. But

0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.400
<v Speaker 3>also I'm not sure if I'm just telling myself I

0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.600
<v Speaker 3>don't like him that much because old patterns are coming

0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:16.040
<v Speaker 3>back and putting up walls to prevent me from getting hurt.

0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:18.760
<v Speaker 3>He said in Our Days that he falls fast and

0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:20.520
<v Speaker 3>always feels like he puts in more than he gets

0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 3>when it comes to dating, So I don't want to

0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:23.600
<v Speaker 3>string him along if I don't see something, But I

0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.960
<v Speaker 3>don't know if I see something or not. My friends

0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.280
<v Speaker 3>tell me to keep to take the pressure off myself,

0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:30.000
<v Speaker 3>and if I look forward to seeing him again, just

0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:33.680
<v Speaker 3>keep going on dates. Help What should I do? How

0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:36.440
<v Speaker 3>do I sort out these feelings? Is this normal or

0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:38.600
<v Speaker 3>is it toxic of me? I'll take any advice you have.

0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:45.800
<v Speaker 6>I think that dipping your toe in and going on

0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:50.160
<v Speaker 6>dates and enjoying getting attention is totally fine and innocent.

0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.600
<v Speaker 6>I don't think you're doing anything wrong. However, I do

0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:54.440
<v Speaker 6>think that if it gets to a point where he

0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 6>confesses his feelings for you, and that he is confident

0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.080
<v Speaker 6>about his feeling and isn't confused, I think you need

0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.800
<v Speaker 6>to be honest with him and not string him along.

0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 6>But I also think that it is a very normal

0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:11.120
<v Speaker 6>feeling to like the attention from someone, but it's a

0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.840
<v Speaker 6>very different It's a very different experience to be in

0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:16.840
<v Speaker 6>a relationship with someone if you're not sure that you

0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:21.680
<v Speaker 6>even have interest in them, because relationships are, you know.

0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:23.640
<v Speaker 1>I think that's wrong. I feel like that's where it

0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.320
<v Speaker 1>crosses the line. I feel like, when you're dating, you

0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:28.480
<v Speaker 1>can date so many people and like that's what it is,

0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.640
<v Speaker 1>it's dating. But when you are in a relationship with

0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.800
<v Speaker 1>someone and you know that it's not going somewhere, to me,

0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:34.040
<v Speaker 1>that's unfair.

0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 2>Usually know, Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:38.120
<v Speaker 6>I wouldn't even get to that point of getting into

0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 6>a relationship because also you want to be one hundred

0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.360
<v Speaker 6>percent sure that you like the person before you get.

0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:46.400
<v Speaker 2>Into a relationship with them.

0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:49.680
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, Like there was no doubt in my mind when

0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:51.280
<v Speaker 6>I met Hayley that I wanted to be in a

0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:52.120
<v Speaker 6>relationship with her.

0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:57.080
<v Speaker 3>Same And yeah, the tingle test, Yeah, it sounds like

0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:58.000
<v Speaker 3>there's no tingles here.

0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:01.440
<v Speaker 2>It sounds like there are no teas, but the tingles

0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:03.920
<v Speaker 2>of attention feel nice, right?

0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:08.000
<v Speaker 3>And is she the Are these walls preventing the tingles?

0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:08.840
<v Speaker 2>Mmmmm?

0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:12.680
<v Speaker 3>Has she kind of numbed herself to potential tingles by

0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:14.840
<v Speaker 3>these walls she's put up over the ears.

0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.160
<v Speaker 6>I think this is a good practice, though, for you

0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.520
<v Speaker 6>to let your walls down and start going on dates

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:25.200
<v Speaker 6>and allowing yourself to open up and welcome someone into

0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:27.960
<v Speaker 6>your life. Who not only gives you attention, but that

0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.160
<v Speaker 6>you also like. Like, it doesn't have to be one

0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.280
<v Speaker 6>or the other. It doesn't mean like, oh I I'm

0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.200
<v Speaker 6>either going to be single forever or I have to

0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:39.400
<v Speaker 6>date someone who I don't really like. You can you

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.760
<v Speaker 6>can go on multiple dates and you're gonna find someone

0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:43.000
<v Speaker 6>who does both of those things.

0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I would say it's toxic. Remember Charlie Pooth wrote

0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:46.000
<v Speaker 1>a whole song about it.

0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:49.920
<v Speaker 6>You just want attention, Yeah, I mean, I think it's

0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.360
<v Speaker 6>very normal, That's what I'm saying. I think it's very

0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.480
<v Speaker 6>normal to one attention and it feels good. But if anything,

0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:57.680
<v Speaker 6>I think this is a chance for you to let

0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:01.520
<v Speaker 6>your own walls down and allow yourself to be pursued

0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:04.640
<v Speaker 6>and also allow yourself to have feelings for someone, which

0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:07.880
<v Speaker 6>can be very scary, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. So

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.080
<v Speaker 6>just have fun, enjoy it, Enjoy it, go on more

0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:12.040
<v Speaker 6>dates with other people, Enjoy, enjoy.

0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:16.879
<v Speaker 3>This is kind of a dark one, sad one from

0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:19.480
<v Speaker 3>anonymous Dear Bania. A year ago, my son, who was

0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.440
<v Speaker 3>two at the time, was diagnosed with leukemia.

0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:22.359
<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh.

0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.880
<v Speaker 3>He's doing much better now, but still receives chemo regularly

0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.320
<v Speaker 3>and will until September of twenty six. I used to

0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.359
<v Speaker 3>be a very positive person, but this has made me

0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:32.359
<v Speaker 3>so scared of everything. My thought press is my thought

0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:36.199
<v Speaker 3>process as always. If something that bad could happen, what

0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:39.040
<v Speaker 3>else is going to happen? I have been in such

0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:41.119
<v Speaker 3>a funk for a year now. How do I snap

0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:43.119
<v Speaker 3>out of it? I'm going to therapy, which helps, but

0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.760
<v Speaker 3>when I think of the big picture, the stress becomes debilitating.

0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:47.720
<v Speaker 3>Love you all, and I want to thank you for

0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:49.800
<v Speaker 3>bringing a smile to my face during the hardest year

0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:50.520
<v Speaker 3>of my life.

0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:56.960
<v Speaker 1>First of all, so sorry, so sorry, and we get it. Yeah,

0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.160
<v Speaker 1>And like, if you could send us your son's name,

0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:02.480
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to pray for him and just continue hopefully

0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.359
<v Speaker 1>that you're saying he's better now, that he continues to

0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:07.439
<v Speaker 1>just get better and better, and that this is something

0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:09.399
<v Speaker 1>in your rear view mirror.

0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.239
<v Speaker 2>M hm, Yes, I hope this is.

0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.000
<v Speaker 6>This is going to be something you look back on

0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:19.120
<v Speaker 6>and say, like, we made it through this. It strengthened us,

0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:24.840
<v Speaker 6>It made all of us embrace life more. And I

0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:29.320
<v Speaker 6>think that it is so normal that you feel this way.

0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:33.520
<v Speaker 6>I cannot imagine not feeling this way watching your child

0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:37.080
<v Speaker 6>go through something like this. I think you're having a

0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:40.879
<v Speaker 6>very human experience and a very mom experience, a parent

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.720
<v Speaker 6>experience of like the worst thing watching your child go

0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:48.040
<v Speaker 6>through and you're having to be strong for everyone else

0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:52.000
<v Speaker 6>while he's going through it. And I think that therapy

0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:56.040
<v Speaker 6>is a great start. And I also think that like

0:18:56.320 --> 0:19:02.040
<v Speaker 6>giving yourself maybe looking into medication that can help ease

0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:06.320
<v Speaker 6>the anxiety because it can be so debilitating. And I

0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.760
<v Speaker 6>can't even imagine what this is like. But I mean, Mark,

0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:14.440
<v Speaker 6>you're the parent in the room of like navigating you know,

0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:16.040
<v Speaker 6>things with your kids.

0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:18.720
<v Speaker 2>So I don't know if you have any I experience.

0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:20.199
<v Speaker 3>You know, we do a lot. Ryan does a lot

0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:22.119
<v Speaker 3>of work with children's hospitals, and so we've done a

0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:24.119
<v Speaker 3>lot of shows from children's hospitals, and those are always

0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:27.199
<v Speaker 3>really hard to go to because you almost just have

0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:29.960
<v Speaker 3>to put your blinders on and not look around you,

0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:32.399
<v Speaker 3>which almost I hope that doesn't come off as rude,

0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.800
<v Speaker 3>but the feeling is, if I let this in, I'm

0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:37.480
<v Speaker 3>not gonna be able to do my job. If I

0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:39.400
<v Speaker 3>focused on these parents and these kids and what they're

0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:41.720
<v Speaker 3>all going through, I'm just gonna be a mess. And

0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:44.280
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to put myself in their position, as impossible

0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:46.480
<v Speaker 3>as that may seem, and I'm just gonna be able

0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:47.639
<v Speaker 3>to do a thing. So I almost have to just

0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:49.960
<v Speaker 3>focus one hundred percent of what I'm doing. But then

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 3>when we're done or whatever, and we'll stop and we'll

0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:53.399
<v Speaker 3>talk to some kids, or we'll have some kids on

0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:55.119
<v Speaker 3>the show that are going through it, and they got

0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:58.280
<v Speaker 3>such great spirit. Anyway, I don't know how parents do this.

0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.359
<v Speaker 3>I really don't. As a parent. I think i'd be

0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:02.080
<v Speaker 3>terrible at it. And I guess you don't know until

0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:04.720
<v Speaker 3>you're put in that situation. And I think it would

0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 3>also make me into a darker person.

0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:10.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think it's so common how you're feeling the

0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:14.399
<v Speaker 1>way that you're feeling, because I feel like seeing your

0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:17.080
<v Speaker 1>kid go through something like that's probably the worst of

0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.760
<v Speaker 1>the worst things, like worst nightmare that you could ever imagine.

0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:22.600
<v Speaker 1>And I think that there are a lot of people

0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:24.800
<v Speaker 1>who it is like it's like a mindset thing. I

0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:27.119
<v Speaker 1>think there's a lot of people who also, like I

0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:29.200
<v Speaker 1>was always one of those people who always was waiting

0:20:29.200 --> 0:20:31.120
<v Speaker 1>for the shoe to drop. Yeah, like I could never

0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:33.240
<v Speaker 1>like nothing good could just be happening. Do you know

0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:34.800
<v Speaker 1>what I mean, like I'm just waiting for that shoe

0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:37.280
<v Speaker 1>to drop. And that's also like a mindset thing too,

0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:38.800
<v Speaker 1>do you know what I mean? So I think therapy

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:41.960
<v Speaker 1>would definitely help. I also think too, don't weigh out.

0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:44.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, you know, medication I think can be

0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:45.720
<v Speaker 1>very helpful in these things. But also it is like

0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:48.280
<v Speaker 1>I think therapy can help because it is like a

0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 1>mind it's like a mind shift because you're in this

0:20:52.600 --> 0:21:00.119
<v Speaker 1>dark hole and it's very like understandable why you're in it,

0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:02.840
<v Speaker 1>but now you just have to climb out of it.

0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:06.560
<v Speaker 3>And also there's the mentality can be and this may

0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:09.359
<v Speaker 3>be naive, is to focus on the positives, like the

0:21:09.400 --> 0:21:12.199
<v Speaker 3>fact that he's doing so much better now that he

0:21:12.640 --> 0:21:14.760
<v Speaker 3>laughed at whatever he laughed at today. I guess there's

0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:17.000
<v Speaker 3>got to be a way that is, focus on whatever

0:21:17.119 --> 0:21:19.640
<v Speaker 3>good there is in your life, or like, look at.

0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:21.679
<v Speaker 1>How we handled this. If we can handle this, we

0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:23.000
<v Speaker 1>can do anything right.

0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:26.400
<v Speaker 6>I also think finding moms and parents who have been

0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:30.120
<v Speaker 6>to the same things, like finding a community, because no

0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:33.280
<v Speaker 6>one who hasn't experienced something like that will ever be

0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:37.720
<v Speaker 6>able to comfort you. Because it's so easy to have

0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:39.800
<v Speaker 6>a perspective on it when you're not going through it,

0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:41.680
<v Speaker 6>and so I think finding people who are going through

0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:43.520
<v Speaker 6>it or who have been through it or on the

0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:47.560
<v Speaker 6>other side would be really comforting for you. Yeah, just

0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:49.960
<v Speaker 6>to have a community of people who have experienced the

0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:53.480
<v Speaker 6>same feelings of heaviness and grief and darkness. I think

0:21:53.960 --> 0:21:57.000
<v Speaker 6>there's something about community in that, and it's probably a

0:21:57.000 --> 0:21:58.840
<v Speaker 6>community that no one wants to be a part of,

0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:01.480
<v Speaker 6>but I think think each other would be something that

0:22:01.520 --> 0:22:05.320
<v Speaker 6>would probably make you feel seen and understood during this.

0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:08.600
<v Speaker 2>I agree, And maybe.

0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:11.800
<v Speaker 6>They're scrubbers who have also experienced this with their kids.

0:22:11.800 --> 0:22:15.879
<v Speaker 6>Are were the kid, you know? Yeah, So I would

0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:18.320
<v Speaker 6>just seek community and know that we're thinking of you

0:22:18.600 --> 0:22:22.800
<v Speaker 6>and your family and praying for complete health.

0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:27.520
<v Speaker 2>And a win for your family.

0:22:27.720 --> 0:22:30.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and thank you for listening to our podcast.

0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:33.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Should we take a break?

0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:34.640
<v Speaker 3>I think that's good.

0:22:34.720 --> 0:23:00.000
<v Speaker 5>Okay, all right, we are back with a few.

0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:00.320
<v Speaker 2>More or.

0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:06.360
<v Speaker 3>De Yeah, a lighter note here, Hello, scrub Team. Day

0:23:06.400 --> 0:23:08.639
<v Speaker 3>one listener, first time or advice.

0:23:08.280 --> 0:23:10.520
<v Speaker 4>Asked her not the tongue twistern.

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:12.880
<v Speaker 3>It was Molly. By the way, I'm a new mom

0:23:12.920 --> 0:23:15.040
<v Speaker 3>to a baby girl. My daughter's three months old and

0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:16.720
<v Speaker 3>is as cute as can be. A few people have

0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:19.280
<v Speaker 3>asked me about the topic of getting her ears pierced.

0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:21.480
<v Speaker 3>I didn't have mine done until I was around twelve.

0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:23.640
<v Speaker 3>I was jealous of the girls who hadn't be done

0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:25.200
<v Speaker 3>when they were a little because they have no memory

0:23:25.240 --> 0:23:27.480
<v Speaker 3>of it. At the same time, it was cool that

0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:29.280
<v Speaker 3>I got to choose whether I wanted to have my

0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:31.840
<v Speaker 3>ears pierced or not, though I haven't met anyone who

0:23:31.920 --> 0:23:33.359
<v Speaker 3>had them done as an infant who was mad at

0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:35.520
<v Speaker 3>their parents for having them done, and honestly, if they were,

0:23:35.560 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 3>they could just take them out. My question to Becca

0:23:37.880 --> 0:23:40.040
<v Speaker 3>and Tanya is when did you get your ears pierced?

0:23:40.040 --> 0:23:42.480
<v Speaker 3>Should I get my daughter's pierced at six months? Should

0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:44.639
<v Speaker 3>I wait and let her decide when she's older? Mark,

0:23:44.680 --> 0:23:46.879
<v Speaker 3>when did your girls have their ears pierced? For the record,

0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:49.200
<v Speaker 3>my husband doesn't care. It's fine with whatever I choose

0:23:49.200 --> 0:23:50.359
<v Speaker 3>for my daughter. Thanks so much.

0:23:52.400 --> 0:23:56.840
<v Speaker 2>I think I was. I feel like I was around nine.

0:23:56.880 --> 0:23:59.840
<v Speaker 6>I got them piers and then they closed up because

0:23:59.880 --> 0:24:02.359
<v Speaker 6>I didn't keep the earrings in, and.

0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:04.000
<v Speaker 4>Then I went back at like twelve.

0:24:04.160 --> 0:24:07.879
<v Speaker 6>Maybe I think after the first time, my MOLM was like,

0:24:07.960 --> 0:24:10.760
<v Speaker 6>we are not doing this again until you are older.

0:24:11.800 --> 0:24:14.000
<v Speaker 6>But I loved like the sticker ear rings and the

0:24:14.040 --> 0:24:17.280
<v Speaker 6>magnet ear rings, but you can't really do those on

0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:18.560
<v Speaker 6>a child because that's dangerous.

0:24:18.600 --> 0:24:19.520
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, I.

0:24:19.480 --> 0:24:20.800
<v Speaker 2>Mean my thing.

0:24:21.119 --> 0:24:25.080
<v Speaker 6>I'm torn on this because it is like a process.

0:24:25.119 --> 0:24:27.320
<v Speaker 6>You have to keep them clean and like, you know,

0:24:27.359 --> 0:24:29.800
<v Speaker 6>it's a little more work that you add onto already

0:24:29.800 --> 0:24:32.760
<v Speaker 6>being a mom to a baby. But I do think

0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:35.760
<v Speaker 6>people who got their ear spears at a young age

0:24:35.840 --> 0:24:40.000
<v Speaker 6>don't really have any resentment about it. Yeah, but I

0:24:40.000 --> 0:24:42.280
<v Speaker 6>guess they could grow up and be like I did

0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:44.000
<v Speaker 6>not want I didn't want my ear.

0:24:43.840 --> 0:24:50.359
<v Speaker 1>Spear, So I think it's like a mutilation thing, right, mutilation. Yeah,

0:24:50.440 --> 0:24:52.320
<v Speaker 1>I think that's like the whole thing is like how.

0:24:52.240 --> 0:24:55.600
<v Speaker 4>Could you do that to like a baby? Yeah, I

0:24:55.640 --> 0:24:56.440
<v Speaker 4>think it's fun.

0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:59.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean, here's the thing. Do I remember the pain

0:24:59.560 --> 0:24:59.880
<v Speaker 2>of it?

0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:02.120
<v Speaker 6>I remember the shock of it, and then I got

0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:04.120
<v Speaker 6>them as I was older, and I remember that pain

0:25:04.200 --> 0:25:06.040
<v Speaker 6>more because it's more recent on my mind.

0:25:06.080 --> 0:25:09.760
<v Speaker 2>But also I don't have any trauma from it.

0:25:10.080 --> 0:25:12.679
<v Speaker 1>Right, Like I got mine older, Like I think I

0:25:12.720 --> 0:25:15.440
<v Speaker 1>was like twelve or fifteen, and I was like sad

0:25:15.480 --> 0:25:17.240
<v Speaker 1>that I didn't have like my years pierced when I

0:25:17.280 --> 0:25:17.760
<v Speaker 1>was younger.

0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:19.280
<v Speaker 4>Oh really, I say go for it.

0:25:19.359 --> 0:25:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh you say do it?

0:25:20.400 --> 0:25:21.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:25:21.119 --> 0:25:27.360
<v Speaker 2>Interesting. I think I'm more on just like not doing it, like.

0:25:27.400 --> 0:25:29.440
<v Speaker 4>Not poking holes in their ears.

0:25:29.280 --> 0:25:33.320
<v Speaker 6>And a side letting them just choose if they want

0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:35.520
<v Speaker 6>to do it when they're older. I had a friend

0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:39.280
<v Speaker 6>whose daughter went and got them. She's six, and she

0:25:39.400 --> 0:25:41.480
<v Speaker 6>got one pierce and it hurts. She didn't know it

0:25:41.520 --> 0:25:43.679
<v Speaker 6>was gonna hurt as bad as it did, and she

0:25:43.720 --> 0:25:44.960
<v Speaker 6>only she left with just one.

0:25:45.480 --> 0:25:49.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they at the same time. I feel like when

0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:50.680
<v Speaker 1>I went to Claire's, they just like did it the.

0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:52.840
<v Speaker 2>Same im same and that was jarring.

0:25:53.080 --> 0:25:58.719
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, but it was done, and so I Yeah, I

0:25:58.720 --> 0:26:01.480
<v Speaker 6>don't think there's a I personally don't know if there's

0:26:01.480 --> 0:26:02.760
<v Speaker 6>a right or wrong answer.

0:26:02.480 --> 0:26:06.840
<v Speaker 1>But arms when you ears is like a baby.

0:26:07.680 --> 0:26:09.120
<v Speaker 4>Especially online and social media.

0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:11.199
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, you can't do anything right on.

0:26:11.960 --> 0:26:14.359
<v Speaker 4>Hillary Duff was like piercing her daughter's ears. It was

0:26:14.400 --> 0:26:16.760
<v Speaker 4>like the end of the world. She was like, get

0:26:16.800 --> 0:26:17.119
<v Speaker 4>over it.

0:26:17.359 --> 0:26:20.920
<v Speaker 3>Then the like the Latino community, it's extremely common. Yeah,

0:26:21.280 --> 0:26:25.600
<v Speaker 3>babies under a year old almost standard write a passage.

0:26:26.240 --> 0:26:29.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know. My thing is just but.

0:26:29.240 --> 0:26:30.439
<v Speaker 4>It's like same with your guys.

0:26:30.520 --> 0:26:32.600
<v Speaker 1>And what do you guys getting circumcision.

0:26:32.720 --> 0:26:37.960
<v Speaker 3>That's not really the same thing. It's not the same thing.

0:26:39.280 --> 0:26:42.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm not gonna let you have that one. Why why

0:26:42.840 --> 0:26:46.040
<v Speaker 3>now the mutilation argument, there's something very similar. But I

0:26:46.080 --> 0:26:48.040
<v Speaker 3>think it's just this is decorative where the other one

0:26:48.119 --> 0:26:50.640
<v Speaker 3>is more of a that's a deep one, that's a whole.

0:26:51.040 --> 0:26:52.080
<v Speaker 4>It's no, it's cosmetic.

0:26:52.680 --> 0:26:53.679
<v Speaker 3>It's not cosmetic.

0:26:54.240 --> 0:26:56.840
<v Speaker 4>You would have that flop and be fine, but.

0:26:56.880 --> 0:26:58.920
<v Speaker 3>That's not why people do it. It's not for cosmetic

0:26:58.960 --> 0:27:01.840
<v Speaker 3>r it's for religious reason or it's for sanitary reasons.

0:27:02.840 --> 0:27:04.359
<v Speaker 3>I mean, it could be a cosmetic reason too, that

0:27:04.359 --> 0:27:06.440
<v Speaker 3>could be one of the options, but it's just one

0:27:06.480 --> 0:27:11.880
<v Speaker 3>of many. But that's another thing. People have very strong

0:27:11.920 --> 0:27:15.960
<v Speaker 3>opinions about it totally. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, Honestly I was

0:27:15.960 --> 0:27:17.440
<v Speaker 3>thinking just a couple of days ago, I was like, ah,

0:27:17.480 --> 0:27:19.399
<v Speaker 3>I'm so I have girls, so I didn't have to

0:27:19.400 --> 0:27:20.120
<v Speaker 3>make that decision.

0:27:20.240 --> 0:27:22.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like it would be a hard decision.

0:27:22.080 --> 0:27:23.399
<v Speaker 3>I think it's a really hard decision.

0:27:23.440 --> 0:27:23.640
<v Speaker 7>Yeah.

0:27:23.720 --> 0:27:25.199
<v Speaker 3>And as far as earrings ago, I was able to

0:27:25.200 --> 0:27:28.840
<v Speaker 3>say that's your department, and so they and they waited

0:27:28.920 --> 0:27:31.040
<v Speaker 3>till that. I would say they were probably nine and six,

0:27:31.080 --> 0:27:33.040
<v Speaker 3>maybe ten and seven, something like that. But they got

0:27:33.080 --> 0:27:36.359
<v Speaker 3>them done together in Wisconsin with their cousin and it

0:27:36.400 --> 0:27:37.119
<v Speaker 3>was a great day.

0:27:37.359 --> 0:27:38.879
<v Speaker 8>I got my experience when I was eighteen.

0:27:39.000 --> 0:27:42.879
<v Speaker 10>Wow, but I got like plugs put in because I

0:27:42.880 --> 0:27:43.560
<v Speaker 10>was a badass.

0:27:43.600 --> 0:27:45.280
<v Speaker 8>And yeah, never never closed up.

0:27:46.560 --> 0:27:49.520
<v Speaker 3>So did you really get plugs? Yeah? Wide were they?

0:27:50.280 --> 0:27:52.720
<v Speaker 10>The biggest they were was a double zero, which is

0:27:52.760 --> 0:27:53.680
<v Speaker 10>like the width of a pencil.

0:27:54.480 --> 0:27:55.440
<v Speaker 8>Okay, and you see them.

0:27:55.480 --> 0:27:56.200
<v Speaker 3>That's not crazy.

0:27:56.359 --> 0:27:56.959
<v Speaker 8>Yeah.

0:27:57.359 --> 0:27:59.760
<v Speaker 10>I stretched him so slowly too, because they told me

0:28:00.440 --> 0:28:02.800
<v Speaker 10>put in a little you know, wait and then when

0:28:02.840 --> 0:28:05.560
<v Speaker 10>you're done, they'll close up all the way if you

0:28:05.600 --> 0:28:06.159
<v Speaker 10>do it slowly.

0:28:06.520 --> 0:28:07.920
<v Speaker 8>So that's what I did. And then when I took

0:28:07.960 --> 0:28:09.040
<v Speaker 8>them out, they never closed up.

0:28:09.320 --> 0:28:13.640
<v Speaker 10>They lied to me at staircase tattoo And yeah, I almost.

0:28:13.359 --> 0:28:14.440
<v Speaker 1>Got those plugs.

0:28:14.800 --> 0:28:15.480
<v Speaker 8>They look cool.

0:28:15.600 --> 0:28:21.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I wanted to make my holes bigger when I

0:28:21.720 --> 0:28:27.560
<v Speaker 1>was like in my surfer girl era era in high school,

0:28:27.720 --> 0:28:33.520
<v Speaker 1>like maybe sophomore year, sophomore junior year, you were surfing.

0:28:34.160 --> 0:28:36.400
<v Speaker 4>I wasn't surfing. I was dating surfer.

0:28:37.160 --> 0:28:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh you were cosplaying? Yes, yes, I see.

0:28:40.680 --> 0:28:46.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, rainbow sandals, you know a pair rainbows here It is.

0:28:46.000 --> 0:28:48.160
<v Speaker 3>Summer of fifteen, so about I was nine and six. Yeah,

0:28:48.200 --> 0:28:49.640
<v Speaker 3>I got that right there you go.

0:28:50.760 --> 0:28:54.320
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, there's something fun about remembering it because you can

0:28:54.360 --> 0:28:56.320
<v Speaker 6>go and you go with your friend or your sister,

0:28:56.360 --> 0:28:58.400
<v Speaker 6>whoever you're with, and it's like, oh, we got our

0:28:58.440 --> 0:29:01.880
<v Speaker 6>ears pier So there's a fun something with that, whereas

0:29:01.920 --> 0:29:04.920
<v Speaker 6>when their baby they won't remember it, Like what.

0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:09.600
<v Speaker 10>About piercing at home with the apple and the needles.

0:29:08.480 --> 0:29:09.240
<v Speaker 4>A couple of friends.

0:29:09.280 --> 0:29:15.320
<v Speaker 2>Really, Yeah, my god, you're just like you've lived.

0:29:15.600 --> 0:29:19.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was a risk taker ottle breaker.

0:29:21.360 --> 0:29:23.920
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, that's just like of all the things I've heard,

0:29:24.080 --> 0:29:27.520
<v Speaker 6>just hearing that for the first time surper Girl era.

0:29:29.160 --> 0:29:31.800
<v Speaker 6>But Molly, I think you should do what your mom

0:29:31.920 --> 0:29:35.520
<v Speaker 6>instinct feels and she will be fine either way.

0:29:37.240 --> 0:29:37.960
<v Speaker 2>That's what I think.

0:29:38.040 --> 0:29:40.240
<v Speaker 6>But it's so true, like on social media, anything you

0:29:40.320 --> 0:29:42.360
<v Speaker 6>post as a parent, it is just.

0:29:43.040 --> 0:29:46.600
<v Speaker 4>People with ears pierced to forget it.

0:29:47.840 --> 0:29:50.440
<v Speaker 6>They always have something to say, truly, people always have

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:52.520
<v Speaker 6>something to say. I would I don't think i'd ever

0:29:52.560 --> 0:29:55.960
<v Speaker 6>post my child on social media just out of being like, yeah,

0:29:56.080 --> 0:29:58.040
<v Speaker 6>fifty people are gonna have an issue with this.

0:29:58.400 --> 0:30:00.480
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people are leaning that way now.

0:30:00.880 --> 0:30:04.280
<v Speaker 6>Well yeah, mostly for just like protecting because it's scary.

0:30:04.280 --> 0:30:05.440
<v Speaker 6>It's a scary world out there.

0:30:05.520 --> 0:30:07.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, they're like taking Yeah, Yeah.

0:30:08.240 --> 0:30:11.880
<v Speaker 3>It's from Maddie. We'll leave you with this. An encouraging

0:30:11.920 --> 0:30:16.640
<v Speaker 3>note for single scrubbers. Hello, beca Tanya market easton day one,

0:30:16.720 --> 0:30:19.040
<v Speaker 3>scrubber here. Ever since I moved a few hours away

0:30:19.040 --> 0:30:21.200
<v Speaker 3>from my family about eight years ago, scrubbing in has

0:30:21.200 --> 0:30:24.240
<v Speaker 3>been my constant companion on those long drives back and forth.

0:30:24.840 --> 0:30:26.960
<v Speaker 3>So much has changed since I first moved, but one

0:30:26.960 --> 0:30:29.080
<v Speaker 3>thing that stayed the same is my struggle to find

0:30:29.080 --> 0:30:31.840
<v Speaker 3>my person. I dated here and there, but nothing ever

0:30:31.880 --> 0:30:35.120
<v Speaker 3>really felt right. I took breaks from dating, trying to reset,

0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:38.320
<v Speaker 3>but I was always inspired by Tanya's story of finding Robbie.

0:30:38.720 --> 0:30:40.800
<v Speaker 3>It gave me hope that maybe one day my time

0:30:40.840 --> 0:30:44.040
<v Speaker 3>would come to Recently, I tried to give hinge another try,

0:30:44.080 --> 0:30:45.920
<v Speaker 3>and that's when I matched with a guy named Michael.

0:30:46.360 --> 0:30:49.240
<v Speaker 3>From the start, I felt an instant connection. A few

0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:51.640
<v Speaker 3>days after we matched, he messaged me asking if I

0:30:51.680 --> 0:30:54.440
<v Speaker 3>had been walking down his street with my dog. The

0:30:54.480 --> 0:30:55.320
<v Speaker 3>strange thing.

0:30:55.240 --> 0:30:56.400
<v Speaker 2>Is I was.

0:30:57.280 --> 0:30:59.440
<v Speaker 3>I walked that exact loop twice a day and half

0:30:59.440 --> 0:31:02.680
<v Speaker 3>for eight years, and somehow we'd never crossed paths before.

0:31:03.160 --> 0:31:07.160
<v Speaker 3>That street now feels like our invisible String. Michael is

0:31:07.200 --> 0:31:10.160
<v Speaker 3>the kindest, most thoughtful, loving man I've ever met, unlike

0:31:10.200 --> 0:31:13.000
<v Speaker 3>anyone I've dated before. And get this, he lives two

0:31:13.040 --> 0:31:15.360
<v Speaker 3>minutes down the street from me. I truly think I've

0:31:15.360 --> 0:31:18.040
<v Speaker 3>found my person. I wanted to share this story because

0:31:18.040 --> 0:31:20.480
<v Speaker 3>as a perpetually single friend going to what felt like

0:31:20.520 --> 0:31:23.920
<v Speaker 3>a never ending stream of weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers,

0:31:24.200 --> 0:31:26.680
<v Speaker 3>it was easy to lose hope. But to any fellow

0:31:26.680 --> 0:31:29.479
<v Speaker 3>scrubbers still waiting for their person, don't give up. They

0:31:29.560 --> 0:31:31.880
<v Speaker 3>might be closer than you think. I love you, guys

0:31:32.000 --> 0:31:34.160
<v Speaker 3>and look forward to the podcast every week. I hope

0:31:34.200 --> 0:31:37.120
<v Speaker 3>you are proud of the community you've built within scrubbing in.

0:31:38.760 --> 0:31:39.800
<v Speaker 4>That's so sweet.

0:31:39.800 --> 0:31:45.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm so happy for you, mabousible String. If you guys

0:31:45.720 --> 0:31:48.360
<v Speaker 1>get married, you should have your first dance Invisible String.

0:31:49.280 --> 0:31:54.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Sophia, come and sing it it.

0:31:55.600 --> 0:31:56.920
<v Speaker 2>No, We're very happy for you.

0:31:57.080 --> 0:31:59.760
<v Speaker 6>I think that there's a lot of people who have

0:31:59.800 --> 0:32:04.160
<v Speaker 6>resonated with your story of staying hopeful finding your person.

0:32:04.720 --> 0:32:08.800
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I have to come up with something clever,

0:32:08.960 --> 0:32:13.520
<v Speaker 1>but like a million dates, million first dates, no seconds

0:32:15.520 --> 0:32:17.920
<v Speaker 1>it's not really rolling and I'm very tired today.

0:32:18.200 --> 0:32:18.760
<v Speaker 4>It's not really I.

0:32:18.760 --> 0:32:20.880
<v Speaker 2>Don't know true. What's is that your tagline?

0:32:21.400 --> 0:32:24.240
<v Speaker 1>But like people who are like in the dating scene

0:32:24.240 --> 0:32:27.160
<v Speaker 1>and they just keep trying, they're just trying chronically online.

0:32:27.160 --> 0:32:29.600
<v Speaker 1>You know you're saying chronically online like I was chronically

0:32:30.880 --> 0:32:31.719
<v Speaker 1>on the dating apps.

0:32:31.800 --> 0:32:34.800
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and it really encouraging.

0:32:34.880 --> 0:32:37.080
<v Speaker 6>You met probably is like the second guy you went

0:32:37.120 --> 0:32:40.320
<v Speaker 6>out with from the dataps you were chronic also.

0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:42.120
<v Speaker 1>But I wouldn't go out on dates with the people.

0:32:42.160 --> 0:32:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I would just like talk in peruse.

0:32:44.480 --> 0:32:46.280
<v Speaker 4>And you know it goes them.

0:32:46.320 --> 0:32:48.400
<v Speaker 1>The minute they said want to get a drink, I'd be.

0:32:48.280 --> 0:32:55.480
<v Speaker 2>Like, bye, oh yeah, you wanted dinner like a lady,

0:32:56.280 --> 0:32:58.560
<v Speaker 2>you wanted to be courted? Yes, yes, but.

0:32:58.560 --> 0:32:59.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah it sucks.

0:32:59.600 --> 0:33:02.040
<v Speaker 1>I ever forget flying back from Texas for one of

0:33:02.080 --> 0:33:04.040
<v Speaker 1>my friends. I think it was a baby shower and

0:33:04.080 --> 0:33:05.760
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'd gone to some many bridal showers

0:33:05.760 --> 0:33:07.640
<v Speaker 1>and weddings and I was like, when's my time?

0:33:08.360 --> 0:33:11.080
<v Speaker 4>And it came, and it will come for you too.

0:33:11.480 --> 0:33:17.440
<v Speaker 2>That's true, that's true. I believe you. With that Happy Thursday, everybody.

0:33:17.000 --> 0:33:24.560
<v Speaker 4>Have a happy till fourth of July. We love you, guy,

0:33:24.840 --> 0:33:25.720
<v Speaker 4>love you, bye,