Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcasts Hell Love everyone.
Speaker 2: We are scrubbing it.
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't see, but it's spear of fingers hello everyone.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: By the way, here's a fun fact about Tanya. When
Speaker 3: she records commercials for Kiss, she waves because then now
Speaker 3: I start with hi everyone, it's Tanya, right, Tanya, And
Speaker 3: she waves to get into the hey, the headspace of
Speaker 3: actually someone actually saying hello to you.
Speaker 4: I want to smile too.
Speaker 1: I want the inflection and ffliction of my boys to
Speaker 1: sound like I'm saying hey, I'm waving, not.
Speaker 3: Acting like actually saying hi to you. So she waves,
Speaker 3: No one, I will help if I'm in the studio,
Speaker 3: and I will wait, wait back.
Speaker 2: It's just partnership right there.
Speaker 3: It makes your smile more, which makes it a better commercial.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. And
Speaker 2: now the when I hear her on.
Speaker 1: The radio, but I'll do it now on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, scrubbing anything, I'll wave every time.
Speaker 3: Great love that you remember back in the day when
Speaker 3: we were to like rehearse your commercials, Yes, yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 3: When she first started doing commercials, she had like she
Speaker 3: was nervous about it. You know, we had to run
Speaker 3: it a few times them like one hundred the tone right, yeah.
Speaker 1: I know, like a little duck like learning how to walk.
Speaker 2: They do Okay, did that sound okay?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeahould say that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, especially the news too. The news was like
Speaker 1: a whole.
Speaker 2: No new intimidate Meal Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: There's like an inflection that you have to have, like
Speaker 3: ending a story going into the next story. It's like
Speaker 3: if you want to keep the train going clear.
Speaker 1: Don't act like there's a set period, just keep it going.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, there's a period, so I can't keep it. Guy,
Speaker 1: I talk, Yeah, that's how I read your text messages.
Speaker 2: That's funny. I don't think that's how you talk. Well, yeah,
Speaker 2: I really have been.
Speaker 6: It's interesting, you know, I forget that you're just y'all
Speaker 6: are all on just a national radio station, and like
Speaker 6: my cousins and people text me and be like it's
Speaker 6: so crazy hearing you know, them talk, and then your
Speaker 6: name's mentioned or like Ryan will mention your name.
Speaker 4: I feel like we mentioned your name.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you come up quite a bit.
Speaker 6: Yeah, honored truly, but it's so crazy because I'm just
Speaker 6: you know, y'all are my friends.
Speaker 2: Y'all are a big, big deal in this world, big
Speaker 2: deal in this radio world, national, nationally.
Speaker 4: That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2: And don't you forget it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't you forget it?
Speaker 6: Speaking of coworkers, are first, dear bomb. Your question leads
Speaker 6: right into.
Speaker 3: It, sure does. It's from an anonymous scrubber who says,
Speaker 3: dear beca Tanya Mark. Andi's the longtime listener here. I
Speaker 3: never miss an episode and I look forward to it
Speaker 3: twice a week. I need help. I'm falling hard for
Speaker 3: a close friend I've worked with for about a year
Speaker 3: and a half, and for the past year our roles
Speaker 3: have merged, so we spend a lot of time together
Speaker 3: at work, texting daily, hanging out outside of work. I'm
Speaker 3: openly out and a few months ago she told me
Speaker 3: she's by Our conversations have gotten deeper, more personal, and
Speaker 3: honestly flirty. She often compliments me, saying things like you
Speaker 3: look beautiful, well, you always do. Recently, ad a tough
Speaker 3: week and when I saw her, she gave me the
Speaker 3: warmest hug and rub my back, and I'm melted. We're
Speaker 3: both in our late thirties with kids who now hang
Speaker 3: out to which makes me fall even harder. The tricky part,
Speaker 3: I feel like we both avoid being alone together for
Speaker 3: too long, almost like we're keeping a buffer. Her divorce
Speaker 3: will be final in about a month. Friends have even
Speaker 3: commented on our connection. But I'm scared to make a
Speaker 3: move and losing her. I've been working on myself while single,
Speaker 3: and she's doing the same. Part of me thinks I
Speaker 3: should wait until her divorce is final, but another part
Speaker 3: of me wonders if I'm just pretending not to be
Speaker 3: in love with her and hoping it fades. She's not
Speaker 3: only beautiful, she is kind, loyal, honest, and has the
Speaker 3: most compassionate heart. What should I do here? I'd love
Speaker 3: any advice.
Speaker 4: Make your move, Yeah, make the move.
Speaker 2: I also.
Speaker 6: I will compliment someone like I'll be like, oh, you know, Tanya, you.
Speaker 2: Look so beautiful today. But if I was like you
Speaker 2: always do.
Speaker 4: I would definitely think you're flirting.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's just like it's different giving a compliment, but then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's like, oh, I love your outfit, I'd
Speaker 1: love to see you without it.
Speaker 7: Onto That definitely is a tall tale sign of flirting. Yeah,
Speaker 7: but I think y'all both are feeling it. I I
Speaker 7: don't know if it's a I mean, I think you
Speaker 7: could wait until her, if her divorce is finally maybe
Speaker 7: she's waiting for that thing, keeping keeping y'alls alone, time limited,
Speaker 7: Maybe the vanish is final.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like these paperwork and stuff, this stuff takes
Speaker 1: so much longer PaperWorks work. I say, you dig in now,
Speaker 1: there's no time.
Speaker 4: If not now.
Speaker 2: When?
Speaker 1: If not you, who, if not her?
Speaker 2: Who?
Speaker 4: If it's not now, it's not if it's.
Speaker 2: Not why no? Not here?
Speaker 4: Not here? Where?
Speaker 2: Here's my here's my thing?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: When when you're going through it?
Speaker 3: Because that's why?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Is it like one of those things where there might
Speaker 2: be uh some legality things of making sure the divorce
Speaker 2: is final in terms of child support.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's involved. I think wait for them. It's only
Speaker 3: a month. Keep keep flirting, keep establishing a foundation. Divorce
Speaker 3: is final, we move in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a month, a month away.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's gonna be a month.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be more well what we have.
Speaker 4: But I'm just saying she might.
Speaker 3: Think, you know, what's in a month? The fourth of
Speaker 3: July is a month from today.
Speaker 6: That's cra Also, no one wished me Happy Pride as
Speaker 6: part of the l g B t q U.
Speaker 4: I mon, it's your your month only.
Speaker 2: No, it's not just my month, correct, it's everyone's month.
Speaker 1: Yes, happy Pride month. Are you offended that we didn't
Speaker 1: tell you?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, But he was just saying, you know what's
Speaker 2: in the month fourth of July?
Speaker 8: So I just skipped Rainbow flag?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Why are you rushing Pride month?
Speaker 1: Mark?
Speaker 4: Are you going to the Pride Pride?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Haley wanted to do something for Pride,
Speaker 2: but I don't know what we're gonna do. I've never
Speaker 2: been to the parade. We've been to like the concert
Speaker 2: that because Haley performed with Fletcher.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it was a little late for me personally.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I don't have a big crowd, yeah, and I don't
Speaker 6: love like a big crowd during the day and like
Speaker 6: the heat.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, but we'll probably do something. Okay, I'll let
Speaker 2: you know if you want to.
Speaker 1: Love me not because I might be there as well.
Speaker 2: You might be roaming the streets.
Speaker 1: Yeah on Sunday?
Speaker 2: Oh really?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 4: With whom wouldn't you like to know. Yeah, my husband.
Speaker 4: Well yeah, so anyway, by.
Speaker 3: The way, I haven't eat pride story. I thought this
Speaker 3: is really cool in Utah. Utah is a very conservative state, yes,
Speaker 3: and like many conservative states, they're trying to ban pride flags,
Speaker 3: which is because we live in a weird, messed up world.
Speaker 3: But whatever, so Utah did. They said, you can no
Speaker 3: longer fly any flags on government property except the American flag,
Speaker 3: the state flag of Utah, an official city flag or
Speaker 3: maybe an Olympic flag or something like that. Just a
Speaker 3: strict list of all these things. So Salt Lake City
Speaker 3: said fine. They immediately designed a rainbow city flag with
Speaker 3: the city the logo Salt Lake City in the midst
Speaker 3: of a huge rainbow, and they fly it proudly oh
Speaker 3: the state capitol. Because that's not legal because they made
Speaker 3: it an official city flag, and I rule, how would.
Speaker 4: They do that?
Speaker 3: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: How did they do that?
Speaker 3: Which part put.
Speaker 1: It on the They put it like up and they
Speaker 1: just like redesigned the flag.
Speaker 3: They read they made you can have multiple city flags.
Speaker 1: Sol has a logo on I don't know the Salt
Speaker 1: Lake City Excuse me, I don't know the UTA. That's
Speaker 1: a flag let's do it like if it was a
Speaker 1: United States flag. So they would just take out like
Speaker 1: the blue and the white wait, yeah, the blue and
Speaker 1: the white stripes, and they would make that like rainbow,
Speaker 1: and then they would put the fifty stars like in
Speaker 1: the thing.
Speaker 3: We have red and white stripes on the American flag.
Speaker 2: Another day, spread and white red and white stripes.
Speaker 3: Are they put You're not to mess with the American flag.
Speaker 3: That's not like they're fine flat and city flags are
Speaker 3: a little bit flags. And by the way, your excuse
Speaker 3: for not knowing what you to off state flag that's
Speaker 3: like this is.
Speaker 10: The there's a Salt Lake city flag and then the
Speaker 10: new one, the cool one.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the visuals, because that's what I was
Speaker 1: really needing.
Speaker 8: Okay, this is this is the one.
Speaker 6: Oh cute picturing the blue and white of the that's
Speaker 6: what you were thinking.
Speaker 10: Yes, yes, they have like it looks like a flower
Speaker 10: or something, some kind of emblem.
Speaker 8: They just put that on top of the rain.
Speaker 4: But okay, okay, thank you.
Speaker 3: I thought that was neat for you know.
Speaker 6: What's interesting is a lot of people are like, oh, like,
Speaker 6: don't shove that in our face and blah blah blah,
Speaker 6: like you don't have to have it on everything. But
Speaker 6: I saw there's this commercial and like, a it's a
Speaker 6: different country, I think Sweden or something, and they were
Speaker 6: it's they were talking about pride, and it's this gay
Speaker 6: man sitting on the train and.
Speaker 2: It's this other guy that like looks like would.
Speaker 6: Be someone who wouldn't agree with this man's lifestyle or
Speaker 6: would say he wouldn't agree with it, sits down in
Speaker 6: front of him and like is staring at him, and
Speaker 6: he gets uncomfortable and like uncrosses his legs and tries
Speaker 6: to look more like masculine, and the guy like pulls
Speaker 6: up his sleeve and he has a rainbow bracelet on,
Speaker 6: and so it's like, all of a sudden, he felt
Speaker 6: safe to like be himself because he saw like the
Speaker 6: guy wanted him to see, like he was a you know,
Speaker 6: all out and I felt like, wow, it was because
Speaker 6: sometimes I hear people say that, and I feel that
Speaker 6: way about other types of flags where or like symbolism
Speaker 6: or rats, you know, specific things where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 6: like that's so in your face, and I know that
Speaker 6: everyone has their opinion on those things, but it literally
Speaker 6: makes people in the community feel safe when they see,
Speaker 6: like a business who has that, You're like, Okay, I
Speaker 6: can go in there and I'm gonna be protected. Yeah,
Speaker 6: And so it's a little it goes so much further
Speaker 6: than being like, I'm representing what I want to represent,
Speaker 6: Like it's a sign of safety for those who aren't
Speaker 6: even in the commune unity to wear and show that
Speaker 6: so that people who are don't feel safe in other
Speaker 6: spaces have that safety when they see that sign.
Speaker 3: Right, they're not the same thing because a lot of
Speaker 3: those hats and flags are threatening.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they want you to feel, yes, for sure.
Speaker 6: So I think that I think if you have had
Speaker 6: those feelings about the room of a flag and be
Speaker 6: like you don't need we don't need to see it. Whatever,
Speaker 6: it is important, and I think it's important that you
Speaker 6: know that it's important. Same you know, and it's important
Speaker 6: to know your flags, but.
Speaker 4: Not I know the American flag.
Speaker 2: You know, you knew two of the colors, you knew
Speaker 2: there was a third.
Speaker 1: I knew there was a square in the corner of
Speaker 1: the stars.
Speaker 3: The stripe to represent do you know how many stripes
Speaker 3: there are?
Speaker 4: Thirteen? That's right, colonies, that's it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 8: What about the stars? How many stars are they?
Speaker 4: This number of states right, this which is fifty one?
Speaker 3: You got your eye on Yeah, yes, it was over real.
Speaker 2: She was thinking deck of cards.
Speaker 9: Yeah, all right, we have a confused scrubber who's written
Speaker 9: in but first start a year.
Speaker 3: You just said we just it's fifty two. You just
Speaker 3: said it. Yes, cards, Yes, same as the white keys
Speaker 3: on the piano.
Speaker 1: Nobody knows that, Okay, I do know.
Speaker 6: Alright, we hate to see it, but we have a
Speaker 6: confused scrubber who has written in.
Speaker 3: Hi have Becatania Easton and Mark. I got dropped on.
Speaker 3: I'm not a day one scrubber. But my best friend
Speaker 3: introduced me to the pod back in twenty twenty one,
Speaker 3: and I instantly became obsessed. I went back and listened
Speaker 3: to all the old episodes, and now that same friend
Speaker 3: and I giggle along every week together. Thank you for
Speaker 3: the Joe You've brought me in so many others. Backstory
Speaker 3: on me. I'm twenty nine. I've never been in a relationship.
Speaker 3: If you had asked me why a few years ago,
Speaker 3: I would have said, well, no one's ever been interested.
Speaker 3: But now, after some self reflection, personal growth, I know
Speaker 3: it's because I've put up a lot of walls and
Speaker 3: guarded myself from getting hurt by never putting myself in
Speaker 3: a situation where that might be the case. I'm fiercely
Speaker 3: independent and I'm proud of that, but it also leads
Speaker 3: me into patterns where I don't let people in very easily. Well,
Speaker 3: I'm torn. I met a guy, and when I'm with him,
Speaker 3: I have a great time. But then when I'm not
Speaker 3: with him and we're just texting, I'm not sure if
Speaker 3: I'm not into him. I don't know if I really
Speaker 3: like this guy or if I just like the attention
Speaker 3: that I'm getting because I've never experienced that before. If
Speaker 3: I do just like the attention, is it okay? If
Speaker 3: I keep going on dates with him. I try to
Speaker 3: remind myself if this is a very normal thing to
Speaker 3: date and to see where things go. It's and experience
Speaker 3: people typically have in their college years and young twenties.
Speaker 3: I'm just now experiencing it for the first time. But
Speaker 3: also I'm not sure if I'm just telling myself I
Speaker 3: don't like him that much because old patterns are coming
Speaker 3: back and putting up walls to prevent me from getting hurt.
Speaker 3: He said in Our Days that he falls fast and
Speaker 3: always feels like he puts in more than he gets
Speaker 3: when it comes to dating, So I don't want to
Speaker 3: string him along if I don't see something, But I
Speaker 3: don't know if I see something or not. My friends
Speaker 3: tell me to keep to take the pressure off myself,
Speaker 3: and if I look forward to seeing him again, just
Speaker 3: keep going on dates. Help What should I do? How
Speaker 3: do I sort out these feelings? Is this normal or
Speaker 3: is it toxic of me? I'll take any advice you have.
Speaker 6: I think that dipping your toe in and going on
Speaker 6: dates and enjoying getting attention is totally fine and innocent.
Speaker 6: I don't think you're doing anything wrong. However, I do
Speaker 6: think that if it gets to a point where he
Speaker 6: confesses his feelings for you, and that he is confident
Speaker 6: about his feeling and isn't confused, I think you need
Speaker 6: to be honest with him and not string him along.
Speaker 6: But I also think that it is a very normal
Speaker 6: feeling to like the attention from someone, but it's a
Speaker 6: very different It's a very different experience to be in
Speaker 6: a relationship with someone if you're not sure that you
Speaker 6: even have interest in them, because relationships are, you know.
Speaker 1: I think that's wrong. I feel like that's where it
Speaker 1: crosses the line. I feel like, when you're dating, you
Speaker 1: can date so many people and like that's what it is,
Speaker 1: it's dating. But when you are in a relationship with
Speaker 1: someone and you know that it's not going somewhere, to me,
Speaker 1: that's unfair.
Speaker 2: Usually know, Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: I wouldn't even get to that point of getting into
Speaker 6: a relationship because also you want to be one hundred
Speaker 6: percent sure that you like the person before you get.
Speaker 2: Into a relationship with them.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like there was no doubt in my mind when
Speaker 6: I met Hayley that I wanted to be in a
Speaker 6: relationship with her.
Speaker 3: Same And yeah, the tingle test, Yeah, it sounds like
Speaker 3: there's no tingles here.
Speaker 2: It sounds like there are no teas, but the tingles
Speaker 2: of attention feel nice, right?
Speaker 3: And is she the Are these walls preventing the tingles?
Speaker 2: Mmmmm?
Speaker 3: Has she kind of numbed herself to potential tingles by
Speaker 3: these walls she's put up over the ears.
Speaker 6: I think this is a good practice, though, for you
Speaker 6: to let your walls down and start going on dates
Speaker 6: and allowing yourself to open up and welcome someone into
Speaker 6: your life. Who not only gives you attention, but that
Speaker 6: you also like. Like, it doesn't have to be one
Speaker 6: or the other. It doesn't mean like, oh I I'm
Speaker 6: either going to be single forever or I have to
Speaker 6: date someone who I don't really like. You can you
Speaker 6: can go on multiple dates and you're gonna find someone
Speaker 6: who does both of those things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say it's toxic. Remember Charlie Pooth wrote
Speaker 1: a whole song about it.
Speaker 6: You just want attention, Yeah, I mean, I think it's
Speaker 6: very normal, That's what I'm saying. I think it's very
Speaker 6: normal to one attention and it feels good. But if anything,
Speaker 6: I think this is a chance for you to let
Speaker 6: your own walls down and allow yourself to be pursued
Speaker 6: and also allow yourself to have feelings for someone, which
Speaker 6: can be very scary, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. So
Speaker 6: just have fun, enjoy it, Enjoy it, go on more
Speaker 6: dates with other people, Enjoy, enjoy.
Speaker 3: This is kind of a dark one, sad one from
Speaker 3: anonymous Dear Bania. A year ago, my son, who was
Speaker 3: two at the time, was diagnosed with leukemia.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: He's doing much better now, but still receives chemo regularly
Speaker 3: and will until September of twenty six. I used to
Speaker 3: be a very positive person, but this has made me
Speaker 3: so scared of everything. My thought press is my thought
Speaker 3: process as always. If something that bad could happen, what
Speaker 3: else is going to happen? I have been in such
Speaker 3: a funk for a year now. How do I snap
Speaker 3: out of it? I'm going to therapy, which helps, but
Speaker 3: when I think of the big picture, the stress becomes debilitating.
Speaker 3: Love you all, and I want to thank you for
Speaker 3: bringing a smile to my face during the hardest year
Speaker 3: of my life.
Speaker 1: First of all, so sorry, so sorry, and we get it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And like, if you could send us your son's name,
Speaker 1: I'd love to pray for him and just continue hopefully
Speaker 1: that you're saying he's better now, that he continues to
Speaker 1: just get better and better, and that this is something
Speaker 1: in your rear view mirror.
Speaker 2: M hm, Yes, I hope this is.
Speaker 6: This is going to be something you look back on
Speaker 6: and say, like, we made it through this. It strengthened us,
Speaker 6: It made all of us embrace life more. And I
Speaker 6: think that it is so normal that you feel this way.
Speaker 6: I cannot imagine not feeling this way watching your child
Speaker 6: go through something like this. I think you're having a
Speaker 6: very human experience and a very mom experience, a parent
Speaker 6: experience of like the worst thing watching your child go
Speaker 6: through and you're having to be strong for everyone else
Speaker 6: while he's going through it. And I think that therapy
Speaker 6: is a great start. And I also think that like
Speaker 6: giving yourself maybe looking into medication that can help ease
Speaker 6: the anxiety because it can be so debilitating. And I
Speaker 6: can't even imagine what this is like. But I mean, Mark,
Speaker 6: you're the parent in the room of like navigating you know,
Speaker 6: things with your kids.
Speaker 2: So I don't know if you have any I experience.
Speaker 3: You know, we do a lot. Ryan does a lot
Speaker 3: of work with children's hospitals, and so we've done a
Speaker 3: lot of shows from children's hospitals, and those are always
Speaker 3: really hard to go to because you almost just have
Speaker 3: to put your blinders on and not look around you,
Speaker 3: which almost I hope that doesn't come off as rude,
Speaker 3: but the feeling is, if I let this in, I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna be able to do my job. If I
Speaker 3: focused on these parents and these kids and what they're
Speaker 3: all going through, I'm just gonna be a mess. And
Speaker 3: I'm going to put myself in their position, as impossible
Speaker 3: as that may seem, and I'm just gonna be able
Speaker 3: to do a thing. So I almost have to just
Speaker 3: focus one hundred percent of what I'm doing. But then
Speaker 3: when we're done or whatever, and we'll stop and we'll
Speaker 3: talk to some kids, or we'll have some kids on
Speaker 3: the show that are going through it, and they got
Speaker 3: such great spirit. Anyway, I don't know how parents do this.
Speaker 3: I really don't. As a parent. I think i'd be
Speaker 3: terrible at it. And I guess you don't know until
Speaker 3: you're put in that situation. And I think it would
Speaker 3: also make me into a darker person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's so common how you're feeling the
Speaker 1: way that you're feeling, because I feel like seeing your
Speaker 1: kid go through something like that's probably the worst of
Speaker 1: the worst things, like worst nightmare that you could ever imagine.
Speaker 1: And I think that there are a lot of people
Speaker 1: who it is like it's like a mindset thing. I
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of people who also, like I
Speaker 1: was always one of those people who always was waiting
Speaker 1: for the shoe to drop. Yeah, like I could never
Speaker 1: like nothing good could just be happening. Do you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, like I'm just waiting for that shoe
Speaker 1: to drop. And that's also like a mindset thing too,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? So I think therapy
Speaker 1: would definitely help. I also think too, don't weigh out.
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, medication I think can be
Speaker 1: very helpful in these things. But also it is like
Speaker 1: I think therapy can help because it is like a
Speaker 1: mind it's like a mind shift because you're in this
Speaker 1: dark hole and it's very like understandable why you're in it,
Speaker 1: but now you just have to climb out of it.
Speaker 3: And also there's the mentality can be and this may
Speaker 3: be naive, is to focus on the positives, like the
Speaker 3: fact that he's doing so much better now that he
Speaker 3: laughed at whatever he laughed at today. I guess there's
Speaker 3: got to be a way that is, focus on whatever
Speaker 3: good there is in your life, or like, look at.
Speaker 1: How we handled this. If we can handle this, we
Speaker 1: can do anything right.
Speaker 6: I also think finding moms and parents who have been
Speaker 6: to the same things, like finding a community, because no
Speaker 6: one who hasn't experienced something like that will ever be
Speaker 6: able to comfort you. Because it's so easy to have
Speaker 6: a perspective on it when you're not going through it,
Speaker 6: and so I think finding people who are going through
Speaker 6: it or who have been through it or on the
Speaker 6: other side would be really comforting for you. Yeah, just
Speaker 6: to have a community of people who have experienced the
Speaker 6: same feelings of heaviness and grief and darkness. I think
Speaker 6: there's something about community in that, and it's probably a
Speaker 6: community that no one wants to be a part of,
Speaker 6: but I think think each other would be something that
Speaker 6: would probably make you feel seen and understood during this.
Speaker 2: I agree, And maybe.
Speaker 6: They're scrubbers who have also experienced this with their kids.
Speaker 6: Are were the kid, you know? Yeah, So I would
Speaker 6: just seek community and know that we're thinking of you
Speaker 6: and your family and praying for complete health.
Speaker 2: And a win for your family.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and thank you for listening to our podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Should we take a break?
Speaker 3: I think that's good.
Speaker 5: Okay, all right, we are back with a few.
Speaker 2: More or.
Speaker 3: De Yeah, a lighter note here, Hello, scrub Team. Day
Speaker 3: one listener, first time or advice.
Speaker 4: Asked her not the tongue twistern.
Speaker 3: It was Molly. By the way, I'm a new mom
Speaker 3: to a baby girl. My daughter's three months old and
Speaker 3: is as cute as can be. A few people have
Speaker 3: asked me about the topic of getting her ears pierced.
Speaker 3: I didn't have mine done until I was around twelve.
Speaker 3: I was jealous of the girls who hadn't be done
Speaker 3: when they were a little because they have no memory
Speaker 3: of it. At the same time, it was cool that
Speaker 3: I got to choose whether I wanted to have my
Speaker 3: ears pierced or not, though I haven't met anyone who
Speaker 3: had them done as an infant who was mad at
Speaker 3: their parents for having them done, and honestly, if they were,
Speaker 3: they could just take them out. My question to Becca
Speaker 3: and Tanya is when did you get your ears pierced?
Speaker 3: Should I get my daughter's pierced at six months? Should
Speaker 3: I wait and let her decide when she's older? Mark,
Speaker 3: when did your girls have their ears pierced? For the record,
Speaker 3: my husband doesn't care. It's fine with whatever I choose
Speaker 3: for my daughter. Thanks so much.
Speaker 2: I think I was. I feel like I was around nine.
Speaker 6: I got them piers and then they closed up because
Speaker 6: I didn't keep the earrings in, and.
Speaker 4: Then I went back at like twelve.
Speaker 6: Maybe I think after the first time, my MOLM was like,
Speaker 6: we are not doing this again until you are older.
Speaker 6: But I loved like the sticker ear rings and the
Speaker 6: magnet ear rings, but you can't really do those on
Speaker 6: a child because that's dangerous.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Mean my thing.
Speaker 6: I'm torn on this because it is like a process.
Speaker 6: You have to keep them clean and like, you know,
Speaker 6: it's a little more work that you add onto already
Speaker 6: being a mom to a baby. But I do think
Speaker 6: people who got their ear spears at a young age
Speaker 6: don't really have any resentment about it. Yeah, but I
Speaker 6: guess they could grow up and be like I did
Speaker 6: not want I didn't want my ear.
Speaker 1: Spear, So I think it's like a mutilation thing, right, mutilation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's like the whole thing is like how.
Speaker 4: Could you do that to like a baby? Yeah, I
Speaker 4: think it's fun.
Speaker 2: I mean, here's the thing. Do I remember the pain
Speaker 2: of it?
Speaker 6: I remember the shock of it, and then I got
Speaker 6: them as I was older, and I remember that pain
Speaker 6: more because it's more recent on my mind.
Speaker 2: But also I don't have any trauma from it.
Speaker 1: Right, Like I got mine older, Like I think I
Speaker 1: was like twelve or fifteen, and I was like sad
Speaker 1: that I didn't have like my years pierced when I
Speaker 1: was younger.
Speaker 4: Oh really, I say go for it.
Speaker 2: Oh you say do it?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Interesting. I think I'm more on just like not doing it, like.
Speaker 4: Not poking holes in their ears.
Speaker 6: And a side letting them just choose if they want
Speaker 6: to do it when they're older. I had a friend
Speaker 6: whose daughter went and got them. She's six, and she
Speaker 6: got one pierce and it hurts. She didn't know it
Speaker 6: was gonna hurt as bad as it did, and she
Speaker 6: only she left with just one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they at the same time. I feel like when
Speaker 1: I went to Claire's, they just like did it the.
Speaker 2: Same im same and that was jarring.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but it was done, and so I Yeah, I
Speaker 6: don't think there's a I personally don't know if there's
Speaker 6: a right or wrong answer.
Speaker 1: But arms when you ears is like a baby.
Speaker 4: Especially online and social media.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you can't do anything right on.
Speaker 4: Hillary Duff was like piercing her daughter's ears. It was
Speaker 4: like the end of the world. She was like, get
Speaker 4: over it.
Speaker 3: Then the like the Latino community, it's extremely common. Yeah,
Speaker 3: babies under a year old almost standard write a passage.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. My thing is just but.
Speaker 4: It's like same with your guys.
Speaker 1: And what do you guys getting circumcision.
Speaker 3: That's not really the same thing. It's not the same thing.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna let you have that one. Why why
Speaker 3: now the mutilation argument, there's something very similar. But I
Speaker 3: think it's just this is decorative where the other one
Speaker 3: is more of a that's a deep one, that's a whole.
Speaker 4: It's no, it's cosmetic.
Speaker 3: It's not cosmetic.
Speaker 4: You would have that flop and be fine, but.
Speaker 3: That's not why people do it. It's not for cosmetic
Speaker 3: r it's for religious reason or it's for sanitary reasons.
Speaker 3: I mean, it could be a cosmetic reason too, that
Speaker 3: could be one of the options, but it's just one
Speaker 3: of many. But that's another thing. People have very strong
Speaker 3: opinions about it totally. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, Honestly I was
Speaker 3: thinking just a couple of days ago, I was like, ah,
Speaker 3: I'm so I have girls, so I didn't have to
Speaker 3: make that decision.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like it would be a hard decision.
Speaker 3: I think it's a really hard decision.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And as far as earrings ago, I was able to
Speaker 3: say that's your department, and so they and they waited
Speaker 3: till that. I would say they were probably nine and six,
Speaker 3: maybe ten and seven, something like that. But they got
Speaker 3: them done together in Wisconsin with their cousin and it
Speaker 3: was a great day.
Speaker 8: I got my experience when I was eighteen.
Speaker 10: Wow, but I got like plugs put in because I
Speaker 10: was a badass.
Speaker 8: And yeah, never never closed up.
Speaker 3: So did you really get plugs? Yeah? Wide were they?
Speaker 10: The biggest they were was a double zero, which is
Speaker 10: like the width of a pencil.
Speaker 8: Okay, and you see them.
Speaker 3: That's not crazy.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 10: I stretched him so slowly too, because they told me
Speaker 10: put in a little you know, wait and then when
Speaker 10: you're done, they'll close up all the way if you
Speaker 10: do it slowly.
Speaker 8: So that's what I did. And then when I took
Speaker 8: them out, they never closed up.
Speaker 10: They lied to me at staircase tattoo And yeah, I almost.
Speaker 1: Got those plugs.
Speaker 8: They look cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wanted to make my holes bigger when I
Speaker 1: was like in my surfer girl era era in high school,
Speaker 1: like maybe sophomore year, sophomore junior year, you were surfing.
Speaker 4: I wasn't surfing. I was dating surfer.
Speaker 2: Oh you were cosplaying? Yes, yes, I see.
Speaker 1: Yeah, rainbow sandals, you know a pair rainbows here It is.
Speaker 3: Summer of fifteen, so about I was nine and six. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I got that right there you go.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's something fun about remembering it because you can
Speaker 6: go and you go with your friend or your sister,
Speaker 6: whoever you're with, and it's like, oh, we got our
Speaker 6: ears pier So there's a fun something with that, whereas
Speaker 6: when their baby they won't remember it, Like what.
Speaker 10: About piercing at home with the apple and the needles.
Speaker 4: A couple of friends.
Speaker 2: Really, Yeah, my god, you're just like you've lived.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a risk taker ottle breaker.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's just like of all the things I've heard,
Speaker 6: just hearing that for the first time surper Girl era.
Speaker 6: But Molly, I think you should do what your mom
Speaker 6: instinct feels and she will be fine either way.
Speaker 2: That's what I think.
Speaker 6: But it's so true, like on social media, anything you
Speaker 6: post as a parent, it is just.
Speaker 4: People with ears pierced to forget it.
Speaker 6: They always have something to say, truly, people always have
Speaker 6: something to say. I would I don't think i'd ever
Speaker 6: post my child on social media just out of being like, yeah,
Speaker 6: fifty people are gonna have an issue with this.
Speaker 1: A lot of people are leaning that way now.
Speaker 6: Well yeah, mostly for just like protecting because it's scary.
Speaker 6: It's a scary world out there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like taking Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 3: It's from Maddie. We'll leave you with this. An encouraging
Speaker 3: note for single scrubbers. Hello, beca Tanya market easton day one,
Speaker 3: scrubber here. Ever since I moved a few hours away
Speaker 3: from my family about eight years ago, scrubbing in has
Speaker 3: been my constant companion on those long drives back and forth.
Speaker 3: So much has changed since I first moved, but one
Speaker 3: thing that stayed the same is my struggle to find
Speaker 3: my person. I dated here and there, but nothing ever
Speaker 3: really felt right. I took breaks from dating, trying to reset,
Speaker 3: but I was always inspired by Tanya's story of finding Robbie.
Speaker 3: It gave me hope that maybe one day my time
Speaker 3: would come to Recently, I tried to give hinge another try,
Speaker 3: and that's when I matched with a guy named Michael.
Speaker 3: From the start, I felt an instant connection. A few
Speaker 3: days after we matched, he messaged me asking if I
Speaker 3: had been walking down his street with my dog. The
Speaker 3: strange thing.
Speaker 2: Is I was.
Speaker 3: I walked that exact loop twice a day and half
Speaker 3: for eight years, and somehow we'd never crossed paths before.
Speaker 3: That street now feels like our invisible String. Michael is
Speaker 3: the kindest, most thoughtful, loving man I've ever met, unlike
Speaker 3: anyone I've dated before. And get this, he lives two
Speaker 3: minutes down the street from me. I truly think I've
Speaker 3: found my person. I wanted to share this story because
Speaker 3: as a perpetually single friend going to what felt like
Speaker 3: a never ending stream of weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers,
Speaker 3: it was easy to lose hope. But to any fellow
Speaker 3: scrubbers still waiting for their person, don't give up. They
Speaker 3: might be closer than you think. I love you, guys
Speaker 3: and look forward to the podcast every week. I hope
Speaker 3: you are proud of the community you've built within scrubbing in.
Speaker 4: That's so sweet.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you, mabousible String. If you guys
Speaker 1: get married, you should have your first dance Invisible String.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Sophia, come and sing it it.
Speaker 2: No, We're very happy for you.
Speaker 6: I think that there's a lot of people who have
Speaker 6: resonated with your story of staying hopeful finding your person.
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to come up with something clever,
Speaker 1: but like a million dates, million first dates, no seconds
Speaker 1: it's not really rolling and I'm very tired today.
Speaker 4: It's not really I.
Speaker 2: Don't know true. What's is that your tagline?
Speaker 1: But like people who are like in the dating scene
Speaker 1: and they just keep trying, they're just trying chronically online.
Speaker 1: You know you're saying chronically online like I was chronically
Speaker 1: on the dating apps.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it really encouraging.
Speaker 6: You met probably is like the second guy you went
Speaker 6: out with from the dataps you were chronic also.
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't go out on dates with the people.
Speaker 1: I would just like talk in peruse.
Speaker 4: And you know it goes them.
Speaker 1: The minute they said want to get a drink, I'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, bye, oh yeah, you wanted dinner like a lady,
Speaker 2: you wanted to be courted? Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 4: Yeah it sucks.
Speaker 1: I ever forget flying back from Texas for one of
Speaker 1: my friends. I think it was a baby shower and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'd gone to some many bridal showers
Speaker 1: and weddings and I was like, when's my time?
Speaker 4: And it came, and it will come for you too.
Speaker 2: That's true, that's true. I believe you. With that Happy Thursday, everybody.
Speaker 4: Have a happy till fourth of July. We love you, guy,
Speaker 4: love you, bye,