1 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to STEPHMO 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: never told you production of I Heart Radio. All right, 3 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: I have a question for you. Okay, what is something 4 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: that you did before the pandemic that you probably will 5 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: not do now? Yes? Now I was in right now, 6 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: or now I was in moving forward, moving forward, moving forward? 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: I probably I know we've talked about this some and 8 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: we're very fortunate and that this is an option. I 9 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: probably won't go into the office as much as I 10 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,599 Speaker 1: did because I used to be like, pretty much every 11 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: day of the week, even if it wasn't necessary, I 12 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: went in to the office and outside of that. I'm 13 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: curious to see if this changes. But right now, I 14 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: don't think I'm going to have as many back to 15 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: back plans as many days of the week. Where it 16 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: used to be like I would be like, you're going 17 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: to this museum from this time to this time, and 18 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: then you're gonna go here from this time this time, 19 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 1: and every day was like that. I don't think that's 20 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: gonna be the case anymore, right Yeah, I think for me, 21 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: some things will be and I didn't do it too 22 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: much beforehand, but like food bars and I would go 23 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: to the Whole Foods and they have that food bar, 24 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: and I would I would go to town on that 25 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: side bar because they I love. They have chicken fried tofu, 26 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: probably one of my favorite things ever. As now, like, 27 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll ever do this again, because 28 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: it wasn't great to begin with. I mean, the little 29 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,839 Speaker 1: sneeze guards that seemed like a great idea, but people 30 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:46,040 Speaker 1: purposely go underneath that to get to things and I'm like, no, no, no, 31 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 1: And the one accepted was Whole Foods. And now I'm like, 32 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think I'll be doing that anymore. 33 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: The automatic hugs that will be less likely, as well 34 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: as sharing drinks with strangers. And I say this and 35 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: like if I got to know you, maybe the first 36 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: time I got to know you, but about an hour 37 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 1: and a half later, I'm like, oh you want to 38 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: try this? I didn't think much of it, but now 39 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, huh yeah, no, yeah. And the reason I 40 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: was thinking about all of these things, of course, there 41 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: are other things that we're gonna do that I'm not 42 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: we're not doing right now, Like right now, I won't 43 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:22,639 Speaker 1: dine indoors. Eventually will I absolutely, But the preference is 44 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: that I will be eating on the patio at all times, 45 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: and I'm very excited about that because you know, in 46 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: Georgia we only have like a month of where that 47 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: is actually not too hot, not too cold, not to 48 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 1: poliny right, that we can do that, but just the 49 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: overall idea of going out and being a part of 50 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: society again has me really really anxious. And I know 51 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 1: we talked about this before, and that made me think 52 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: about how our confidence or lack thereof, how has changed 53 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,679 Speaker 1: since after the pandemic. And again I don't know about 54 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: anybody else, and yeah, like I said, I've talked about 55 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: this before, but as we're preparing to meet up with 56 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: people and mingle with pool, I've started to have a 57 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: lot of second thoughts on whether or not I even 58 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: want to go out in the first place, and whether 59 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: I have the emotional motivation or strength to actually do it. 60 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: And of course this has everything to do with not 61 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: just being a part of society again and just interacting 62 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: with people and just socializing, but also my confidence in 63 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: my job and then what we're doing it has really waned, 64 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 1: I feel like during the pandemic, which is hilarious because 65 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: we've upped our amount of episodes that we do on 66 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,359 Speaker 1: a constant basis. I'm finally getting to the point of this, 67 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 1: like year three, yo, I can't remember right, year three 68 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: of me finally, you know, me kind of getting adjusted 69 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: to this new job. But I'm still having a lot 70 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: of anxiety. Of course, it didn't help that I clicked 71 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: onto some reviews the other day and it was not pretty. 72 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: I know everybody got onto me, including Holly from Stuff 73 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: You Miss in History Class and Caroline from Unladylike and 74 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: Tracy of Missing History Clouds. They're all like, stop doing that, 75 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: And I didn't mean to. I was actually trying to 76 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: do it for work and I just ended up clicking 77 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: on it, and of course a word caught my eyes, 78 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: so I was like, let me, let me see what 79 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: this is, son of It was a huge mistake. But 80 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 1: I'm not the only one. So I feel a little 81 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: bit better about this and a little sad about this. 82 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: And according to one research I Think Tank, they found 83 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,359 Speaker 1: over seventy of women struggling with self esteem or self 84 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: love issues and it ranged from different reasons such as 85 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: financial reasons, um and yeah, we talked about this before, 86 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 1: especially when it comes to black women and Latino women, 87 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 1: they've been hit hardest when it comes to the job 88 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: crisis during the pandemic, and that same study found over 89 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: felt financially insecure and seventy one have had their financial 90 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: plans being completely affected due to the pandemic, and it 91 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: is not all because of finance, but also due to 92 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: not surprisingly the state of the world, things like politics, 93 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: the pandemic, and for some feeling like they have move 94 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: forward in their lives, whether it's personal or professional. And 95 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: according it to one statistic, the lowest ranking and self 96 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 1: esteem or self love is in South Korea, Saudi Arabia, 97 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: and surprisingly France, while Denmark, Australia, and the United States 98 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: break the highest, which could be more about who was 99 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: asked more than anything else. Always get the question those 100 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: kinds of studies and again not such a shock. It 101 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: has shown that people who are frequent users of social 102 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,479 Speaker 1: media are more likely to have lower self esteem, but 103 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: it's also worth noting that many of the same people 104 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: have said they get more emotional support they need, and 105 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,360 Speaker 1: there have been many different reports talking about the overall 106 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: effect of social media, especially in teenagers, when it comes 107 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: to them using these platforms, and that's not adding the 108 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 1: overall pressures of the dreaded Zoom meetings. According to study 109 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: done by Washington University in St. Louis, they didn't find 110 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: a decrease in self esteem, which I thought was surprising 111 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,919 Speaker 1: because I every time I opened it up by dial 112 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: ittle inside. They said, quote counter to expectations, daily video 113 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,279 Speaker 1: chatting hours was unassociated with appearance satisfaction, which aligns with 114 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: some work that suggests the specific social media activities, rather 115 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 1: than the total spent using it, predicts body dissatisfaction. And 116 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: the research continues Furthermore, daily video chatting hours was not 117 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: associated with self objectification or video chatting appearance comparisons, though 118 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 1: self objectifications moderated the relationship between total video chatting hours 119 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 1: and both satisfaction measures. So essentially, what they're saying is 120 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,279 Speaker 1: they expected that to be a problem. They saying that 121 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: they felt that their self esteem was hit and all 122 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: these things, but they really didn't care. It didn't really change. 123 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: It just kind of was like, huh, okay, it happens, 124 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: moving on and again. Like I said, Hey, I don't 125 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: know about you, but I'm definitely not one of those 126 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: who feel fine with all the Zoom and Skye and 127 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: any of these things. Because when I pop up the 128 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 1: video and shows me how I look at that day, 129 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, I haven't looked in the mirror today. 130 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: But the one thing I do love is that I 131 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: can actually just turn off the hand run. So being 132 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,280 Speaker 1: at a meeting without being at a meeting has been 133 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 1: really nice. And which, by the way, the study does 134 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: point out that many of those who participate in these 135 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: types of surveys did highlight that they really liked the 136 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: edit feature or that they could turn it off, and 137 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: that's part of the reasons. They're like, yeah, I can 138 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: change it if I want to. Yeah, I remember the 139 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: first time for I don't know the first time I 140 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: use zoom and I was just messing around with the 141 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: like edit my appearance feature. It's like, whoa, this is 142 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: why I'm not savvy enough, and I'm just like, just 143 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: turn it off, just turn it off. Well, I mean 144 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: it does reach a certain point. I mean, you gotta 145 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: have a light touch unless you want people to know like, oh, yeah, 146 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: she's got that edit my appearance function creak to the top. 147 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 1: And I'm guessing I didn't look into this that the 148 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: purchasing has increased for things like the ring light, which 149 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: a lot of people have now I have noticed to that. 150 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: I have noticed to that, and I actually have one 151 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: in here. I did not purchase it specifically for Zoom, 152 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: but I did move it from where it was into 153 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: here because I was like, well, if I'm gonna be 154 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: on camera all the time, ms, get the ring light out. However, 155 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: it's facing my wall more than my face, so not great. 156 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 1: But anyway, issues of body image have been a prevailing 157 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: theme throughout the pandemic as well. And honestly, yeah, I've 158 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: been uh stocking up a lot on ponchos and that 159 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: this is part of my now normal clothes closet because 160 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: you know, I'm preparing for the vast girl woman summer. 161 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: And yeah, new fashions cover up as much as I 162 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: can with as much material, but that doesn't make me 163 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 1: too hot. And ponchos they give you the options of 164 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: not having too long with sleeves. I should get out 165 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 1: of my Luke Skywalker pots. Are you haven't see me 166 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: in it yet? Samantha super cute. I love how people 167 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 1: always say it so ugly and I'm like, oh, I 168 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: think it looks so cute. Yeah, that's actually I haven't 169 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: had the chance to tell you this because it kind 170 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: of just happened, Samantha. But the other night a friend 171 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: of mine, a really good friend of mine, texted me 172 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 1: like nine pm and said, do you want to come 173 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: hang out at a bar that's near me? I'm here, 174 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 1: and I was like, what is this last minute plan? 175 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 1: And it's like, I know, I'm bringing them back and 176 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: I felt too gross and ugly to go outside. And 177 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 1: I couldn't say that because then he'd be like, come 178 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,439 Speaker 1: on and being ridiculous. But that's what that was my 179 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: immediate like, And I know a lot of friends, women, 180 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: particularly in my group, that have said similar things. Right, Yeah, 181 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: One scientific journal found that stress and anxiety has increased 182 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 1: due to people's ideas around body image. There is this 183 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: defeat his attitude about what they should and should not 184 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: have accomplished while in quarantine. And again we see social 185 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 1: media and a lot of fat phobic content that feed 186 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 1: into this narrative that that's been a big conversation throughout 187 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: this whole thing. Right And according to the National Eating 188 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: Disorders Association, quote, people with negative body image have a 189 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: greater likelihood of developing and eating disorder. They are also 190 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: more likely to suffer from the feelings of depression, isolation, 191 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 1: low self esteem, and obsession with weight. And that's again 192 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: to say that this is this horror level of it's 193 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: not actually what your body looks like, but it's how 194 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 1: you're thinking on it and what is making you think 195 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: on it and a yeain and part of that is 196 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: this whole narrative that we've been talking about throughout our episodes. 197 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: And I know a lot of women in general are 198 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: talking about the fact that there's this feeling a failure 199 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 1: because we didn't We had all this time, and why 200 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: didn't you do this? And you could have done this 201 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: while you're there, and because we didn't or may not 202 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,439 Speaker 1: have done it, we feel like we haven't met those expectations, 203 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,319 Speaker 1: as well as that it becomes a moment of obsession 204 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: to it, like why didn't I do this? And all 205 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: this is my fault that I did this and all 206 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: these things. And I think we would definitely want to 207 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: add negative body image can affect anyone, so it doesn't 208 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: matter what you look like at all. Again, just the 209 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: preface that this is not about what you actually look like. 210 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 1: It's what you actually think in process and what's being 211 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: fed to you. Right and as we talked about earlier. 212 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 1: Financial issues have made many and insecure due to the pandemic, 213 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,319 Speaker 1: but so has the overall level of job skill, which 214 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: can lead to burnout. According to CNBC and Survey Monkey 215 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,839 Speaker 1: Women at Work survey that was conducted um February through 216 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: March of this year, just in case you're listening to 217 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: this in the future, at least fifty women said they 218 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: were suffering from burnout due to their jobs, and many 219 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: experts report it's the usual level of bias and lack 220 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 1: of fairness that many women have been dealing with for years, 221 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: added to the pandemic that is causing this increase of burnout. 222 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: And yeah, this isn't even talking about the unequal responsibility 223 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: laid on women in the household, which one report estimated 224 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: at least twenty additional hours of extra work was added 225 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 1: because of that household responsibility. Yeah, any how many hours 226 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 1: do you think a week you average for this job? 227 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: I will say it heavily depends on the week, but 228 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: it can go up to the fifty or sixty. And 229 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: in fact, I have a friend who uses an app. 230 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: We're almost like you're clocking and clocking out because we 231 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: do traditionally do that with our job, but just to 232 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 1: keep tracks so I know how many hours I am 233 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: putting in. Some weeks it's much less, for sure, but 234 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: because of the way our jobs are structured, and now 235 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: you're doing that at home, and these lines are blurred 236 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: between like home life and office life, and depending on 237 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: your state of mind, you might be working, you might 238 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: be working really early in the morning or at off hours, 239 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: so you're not thinking of it in that way, and 240 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: so it's really difficult to get a clear idea of 241 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: how much it is. Especially I don't know if you've 242 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,199 Speaker 1: experienced this, but I feel like the hours just bleed 243 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: together and somehow, like I don't know if it's the 244 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: pandemic or stress, I feel like things are taking me 245 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 1: much longer than they used to take me. And I 246 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: can't really say what that is. I don't maybe it's 247 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,640 Speaker 1: not even true, but it feels like I used to 248 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: be able to get all my work done and pretty 249 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: standard work time hours, and now it's like working weekends 250 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: isn't out of the that's pretty regular, right, And I 251 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: think that's part of the problem, and that we are 252 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,559 Speaker 1: not addressing enough, especially when we talk about working from home, 253 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,599 Speaker 1: especially when we're talking about salary jobs and why it 254 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 1: can be problematic because when you start dwindling down how 255 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,199 Speaker 1: many hours you truly work, you're like, oh, I'm getting 256 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: paid five dollars an hour. That's right, that's not worth it. 257 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: And as in fact what you were talking about, why 258 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,560 Speaker 1: it takes you longer. One of the workplace experts, Jennifer Moss, 259 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: actually stated that yes, burnout, which you may not even 260 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 1: realize you have, often leads to brain fog, fatigue, and 261 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: chronic stress and has made even small task like folding 262 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: laundry or unloading a dishwasher really exhausting, which means it 263 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 1: takes you a lot longer and it seems really hard 264 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 1: when it's like I've done this for so many years. 265 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: Why is this a problem now? And especially again when 266 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: we can't differentiate our regular hours versus work hours. And 267 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,359 Speaker 1: you're better at getting on top of things than I am, 268 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,959 Speaker 1: but you're not better at stopping. You don't limit yourself 269 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: and that is problematic for you. Um Me, I'll give 270 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 1: up sometimes, but it bleeds into my hour stretch. Over 271 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:07,560 Speaker 1: a twelve hour I would work day, but I and 272 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: it maybe eight hours, but it may take me three 273 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 1: hours to do one of the tasks that should have 274 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: taken me thirty minutes, like I actually measured like this 275 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 1: should take me this long. It take me this long? 276 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 1: What did I just do? And part of that, especially 277 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: when I this kind of job to me is so 278 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: different because research seems so like college like that I 279 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: can't quite grasp professional versus research, which is again very 280 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: different from me from what I used to do, which 281 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: I would go in and have conference calls and you know, 282 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 1: different things like that. That was obviously like a different 283 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: level professional bits where I would do a documentation of interviews. 284 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: When I would do investigations, it was different. This researching things, 285 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: it seems like it's almost against school like, which meant 286 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: I would wait till the last minute, but do it 287 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: ham it within six hours. So my ideal discipline has 288 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 1: gone out the window and I have regressed to really 289 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: bad college habits for this job. So it's really weird. 290 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: But on top of that, again my confidence I feel 291 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 1: like it's shot because this is something that this kind 292 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: of job allows for a lot of people to critique it. 293 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: Outside of just your boss and ourselves. You have so 294 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: many people who have so many opinions that it makes 295 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: me so shell shocked that I feel like I can't 296 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: do my job properly and I don't have the confidence 297 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,200 Speaker 1: to say that I have. Yeah, if that makes sense. 298 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 1: So it's a whole different thing, which again brings back 299 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: the whole like burnout stress where I get I quit. Yeah. Well, 300 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: and there's a lot we could unpack there, and I'm 301 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 1: sure we will in a future episode of just when 302 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: we have the conversation of you know, being feminist enough 303 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: or am I like is my voice worth hearing? And 304 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: then you get the critiques and then you get in 305 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 1: your head and then you doubt everything about yourself and 306 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 1: what you're doing, and then you have a pandemic and 307 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: you're like, I know I could do better, but I'm 308 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: so stressed right like this all this stuff, and I 309 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 1: will say for me also for the long work hours. 310 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 1: This is something I thought about when I was going 311 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 1: on a mental experiment of like what would happen if 312 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 1: I got fired today? And I was just thinking that 313 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: I do rely on work a lot um too as 314 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 1: a stress Like as stressful as it is, it also 315 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: distracts me from other like politics, or it gives me 316 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: something to do, so I use it in that way also, 317 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 1: So that that's another aspect of this whole thing. And yeah, 318 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 1: as we get back to whatever normal is, and many 319 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: would argue there is no real getting back to what 320 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: we assumed to be normal before the pandemic, it is 321 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 1: important to measure how you see yourself as in taking 322 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: care to not fall under the pressures and lies of 323 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 1: unrealistic expectations. We do have some advice on how to 324 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: care for yourself as we ease back into society and 325 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:53,359 Speaker 1: as many of us have discussed, did the pressures of returning, 326 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: how to deal with those um the pressures returning to 327 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: putting the job first in a capitalistic society, so here 328 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 1: one letting things go. Prioritize what you need and the 329 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 1: best way for you to be productive. So most times 330 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,159 Speaker 1: you can't do it all. That's unrealistic, unhealthy to think 331 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,439 Speaker 1: that you have do and you you that's something that 332 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 1: you can do, and we have to prioritize in order 333 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: to be able to be productive. So that includes saying 334 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 1: no when you don't have the time to do it, 335 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 1: or just if you don't want to. So if they're 336 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: asking you to volunteer, don't say yes if you don't 337 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 1: want to. If you don't enjoy it. Why learn compassionate detachment, 338 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: which is defined as the quote manner in which we 339 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 1: relate to others when we allow them to deal with 340 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 1: their own problems, and therefore they're free to choose to 341 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: become responsible for their own issues. Also, you can say 342 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: it as you can observe but not absorb, so not 343 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 1: taking on those responsibilities. And here's a few ways to 344 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,439 Speaker 1: do that. One retreat, remove yourself from that situation, if 345 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: it's not a situation you would be a part of, 346 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: or if it's not giving you good vibes, put down 347 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 1: that phone, walk away from that conversation, Go with high 348 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 1: in the closet if you need hiding is great. I 349 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 1: love doing that. Restore, whether it's going in a quiet 350 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 1: space like we talked about, taking some deep breaths, maybe 351 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,439 Speaker 1: showering to wash off that negativity literally, or even a 352 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 1: much needed fifteen minute power nap. Who knows? What do 353 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: you evaluate? Is this person someone who is there for 354 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 1: you as much as you are there for them. You 355 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: need to really consider what this friendship is. Is it toxic? 356 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: Even this work relationship? Is it uplifting? In same as 357 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,919 Speaker 1: any situation. Listen to your body, Listen to your instincts, 358 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: which is sometimes easier said than done. And I'm actually 359 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: really working on that. Taking time for yourself, so that 360 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,119 Speaker 1: could be things like going outside, turning off your phone. 361 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 1: I just lost my phone, so I'm kind of dealing 362 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 1: with this right now, even though she's been out twice 363 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,199 Speaker 1: since she's been vaccinated and lost her phone on the 364 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: second time the first time. That's true. That's true. Give 365 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: yourself breaks throughout the day, even if you are working 366 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 1: from home. Step away from your workspace and stay connected. 367 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,239 Speaker 1: Find your people, stay connected with them, whether it's just 368 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,439 Speaker 1: a quick text, exchange your chat. Restore yourself with the 369 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,360 Speaker 1: people who know you and love you for who you are. 370 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 1: Ponchos and all, And yes, Samantha, even though your poncho 371 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 1: scared the crap out of me that one time because 372 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 1: it was hanging on a closet wall, you're still a 373 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 1: great friend of mine. It was my wearable comforter. That 374 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,880 Speaker 1: is a giant poncho. But it's the size of a tent. Yeah, 375 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:32,679 Speaker 1: because it's also very very thick. It looks like a 376 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: person just staring at you. It's true, that's what I thought, 377 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,200 Speaker 1: and it's scared me. But to be fair, I am 378 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: easily scared so well. Listeners, please let us know if 379 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,680 Speaker 1: you have any tips or tricks or thoughts. We love 380 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 1: hearing them all. You can email us at Stuff Media, 381 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: mom Stuff at I Hurt me dot com if you 382 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 1: can find us on Instagram at stuff I've Never Told 383 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,919 Speaker 1: You or on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as 384 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 1: always to our super producer Christina, Thank you, and thanks 385 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 1: to you for listening Stuff I Never Told You the 386 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,120 Speaker 1: production of I Heeart Radio. For more podcast from iHeart Radio, 387 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you 388 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. H