Speaker 1: Novel.
Speaker 2: This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned.
Speaker 3: Okay, I've just gone to the toilet and I don't
Speaker 3: think he has anything interesting to say.
Speaker 4: I do feel.
Speaker 3: Abound, but he's just giving me absolutely nothing.
Speaker 5: Me I'm a savage.
Speaker 2: Are you bored of modern dating?
Speaker 6: Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
Speaker 6: same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
Speaker 6: house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
Speaker 6: time to change the narrative on how we find love.
Speaker 6: It's time to start looking for love in all the
Speaker 6: wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
Speaker 6: picking people who are the total opposite of my type.
Speaker 6: And after twenty eight of these days in two months,
Speaker 6: will I find that special someone? Or Well, this experiment
Speaker 6: proved that I should just give up on dating altogether.
Speaker 2: It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell and this
Speaker 2: is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 4: Hey Grace, Hi, you had done another date this week?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I did.
Speaker 4: I know it was bad because you've voice toned me
Speaker 4: from the toilet midway to the date. Why why did
Speaker 4: you go on a date with this guy?
Speaker 6: Well, okay, so we matched on hinge and he said,
Speaker 6: after a bit of messaging that he was a stand
Speaker 6: up comedian. Now, I have never dated another fellow comedian
Speaker 6: before because it's always given me loads of red flags,
Speaker 6: to be honest, like I worry about like there being
Speaker 6: like competitivity. I worry about us not liking each other's comedy,
Speaker 6: which would happen a lot if I dated a male comedian,
Speaker 6: because a lot of men don't like my comedy, and
Speaker 6: so I've never done that before.
Speaker 2: But I was like, he's really good.
Speaker 6: Looking, and I was like, let me give this a while,
Speaker 6: because you know, maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 7: Is he like established or is he literally just started?
Speaker 7: Has he done any gigs?
Speaker 2: He has just started?
Speaker 6: He had done the Adam of Fringe last year, but
Speaker 6: splitting the bill in like a pub you didn't google them.
Speaker 6: I didn't know his surname, Okay, okay, Yeah, so I
Speaker 6: didn't have much to go from. And that's the kind
Speaker 6: of thing with dating apps. I want to do, like
Speaker 6: a full background check before I meet someone. Yeah, on
Speaker 6: the hinge, you used to get someone's surname. Once you
Speaker 6: match them, you get their surname, but you don't.
Speaker 7: Know Okay, I've got a question here, Okay, as I've
Speaker 7: said multiple times here, I'm made of the game for
Speaker 7: a long long time.
Speaker 4: So on Hinge.
Speaker 7: You don't get their surname, so you can't do a
Speaker 7: full background of Porus. You can't know who their ex
Speaker 7: girlfriend is, where they grew up, a school they went into.
Speaker 4: How are you meant to know that they're like, okay.
Speaker 2: Not a serial killer? Yeah, I know, no honestly, but.
Speaker 6: I think that works for me in the sense that
Speaker 6: I'm glad people can't google me. I'm quite glad that
Speaker 6: we can meet maybe first if they don't know anything
Speaker 6: about me and like they don't just google me. And
Speaker 6: then the first thing it says is Alice the Camill's daughter,
Speaker 6: Like as my job. So I feel like it works
Speaker 6: in my favor as well. But I agree that it's
Speaker 6: kind of creepy because, especially with men, you want to
Speaker 6: know that they're not a like maybe a loser, or
Speaker 6: like have no friends, or like have dressed really badly.
Speaker 6: Like I want to be able to vet that from
Speaker 6: their social media.
Speaker 2: Anyways, I didn't look this guy up. I was like.
Speaker 4: Thinking the complete outset.
Speaker 7: I was like, you want to want to vet them
Speaker 7: to make sure that like they don't have any convictions
Speaker 7: against like have good style.
Speaker 4: They have.
Speaker 2: Honestly, my main thing is neck clothes. Oh my god.
Speaker 6: So okay, I'm fine if you have convictions, just don't
Speaker 6: wear unbranded trainers. So we met on Hinge and then
Speaker 6: we arranged a time to meet and he said he
Speaker 6: wanted to get a bloody Mary. So we went to
Speaker 6: a pub and we re.
Speaker 2: Each had a bloody mary.
Speaker 6: Is So tell me, so you how is stand up
Speaker 6: going good?
Speaker 1: I enjoy it, which I think is the main thing.
Speaker 2: And how much are you gigging as much as possible?
Speaker 2: What do you watch your other work?
Speaker 6: A model?
Speaker 1: Oh right, so that's very like sporadic right yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I have a lot of three time, so when
Speaker 1: I want to spend a month getting drunk, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, good for you.
Speaker 2: That's what I call garbos. Thanks, you're welcome. He was
Speaker 2: baf first of all, like he's very good looking.
Speaker 4: What he looked like He looked.
Speaker 6: Like the guy from Bridgerton reggae Jean Page.
Speaker 2: Oh guy. Yeah.
Speaker 4: He was also voted when the hottest men in the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: He's recently on the cover of Variety magazine the Hollywood edition.
Speaker 2: Wow, mis Google, I know.
Speaker 4: A lot of it sleg culture.
Speaker 7: I know, you know little about dating in twenty twenty three,
Speaker 7: but I know a lot of it.
Speaker 2: So he looked it's like him like he was buff.
Speaker 6: But then there was this sort of weird thing of
Speaker 6: this is me having such main character syndrome. But when
Speaker 6: we were talking about stand up, he was talking about
Speaker 6: sort of what gigs he started doing, and like how
Speaker 6: he sort of got into stand up. But he asked
Speaker 6: me absolutely no questions about like my career, which I
Speaker 6: was like, it's either just classic man just not taking
Speaker 6: any interest in like a woman, or which is what
Speaker 6: I more think it was.
Speaker 4: He knows your life already, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 6: And it's really self conscious of making it obviously he
Speaker 6: knows why I am, which is even weirder.
Speaker 2: I think that's so weird. Don't you think that's so mad?
Speaker 2: It's even that.
Speaker 6: Do you get that when you meet someone, it's really
Speaker 6: obvious they know who you are, but they're like, what's
Speaker 6: your name?
Speaker 4: Yeah? And I just play a long because I'm like,
Speaker 4: this is you awkward? Had to know? It's like I
Speaker 4: know you follow me? Yeah exactly, Like yeah, and you
Speaker 4: know what I do?
Speaker 7: Get it as well, Like I read think. One of
Speaker 7: my friends recently was at this big parody in London
Speaker 7: and she put up on her close friends being like
Speaker 7: I shook hands with someone like storm Z or something
Speaker 7: like that, and I asked him who he was, and
Speaker 7: she's like, I just got so nervous, so I didn't
Speaker 7: want to look like fun.
Speaker 4: So I was like, okay, maybe, like you know.
Speaker 6: No, it is a nerves day, I think, yeah, but
Speaker 6: it's also like on a day like let's be for real.
Speaker 6: Like it kind of made the whole thing quite awkward
Speaker 6: because then it felt like the whole day was me
Speaker 6: just asking him about his stand up career.
Speaker 2: How long is your set tonight?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 6: Seven?
Speaker 2: I think seven, men's.
Speaker 1: Sir. But I've been trying to tell jokes that are
Speaker 1: sort of like make the audience sort of tighten up at.
Speaker 2: The start, as in tighten up sort of like if.
Speaker 1: The punchline is kind of like, oh, I don't know
Speaker 1: if we're allowed to laugh at that.
Speaker 2: Can you give me an example?
Speaker 1: So one of the jokes I've been telling lately is
Speaker 1: so I'm recently single, and I've been trying to discover
Speaker 1: or if I have a type, and I realized I'm
Speaker 1: most attracted to black or Jewish women.
Speaker 2: But what can I say?
Speaker 1: I can get enough of that ghetto booty.
Speaker 4: And that wasn't funny at all.
Speaker 2: It's so bad.
Speaker 7: It's like so bad, Like I actually I thought I
Speaker 7: was waiting because I thought.
Speaker 4: There was an actual punchline coming or something like. No,
Speaker 4: it was so bad.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 7: I hate when people try to tell jokes they are
Speaker 7: enough funny because I have a really bad fake.
Speaker 4: Laugh to it.
Speaker 2: Let me see your fight glass.
Speaker 7: It's like I'm forcing it out, and I instantly go
Speaker 7: red because I'm like, I'm going to fun.
Speaker 6: No, I know, And I find it really hard to
Speaker 6: even with this guy does this like really bad joke.
Speaker 6: But I find it really hard not to laugh at
Speaker 6: someone's joke because I'm such a people pleaser and I'm like,
Speaker 6: I don't want to not laugh, and then you're like,
Speaker 6: oh my god, I'm such a bad comedian. But I
Speaker 6: probably should have not laughed because it was a really
Speaker 6: bad joke.
Speaker 4: It wasn't even a joke.
Speaker 2: It's a really bad joke.
Speaker 6: And also like the thing that I'll say again not
Speaker 6: to be like completely main character syndrome, but my opening
Speaker 6: joke of my show at the moment is I'm single,
Speaker 6: and I've realized recently I've got a type, and it's
Speaker 6: men who would have played football professionally if they hadn't
Speaker 6: injured their knee.
Speaker 2: And you're eight. So I was like, which is actually funny, Yeah,
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 6: And I was like this guy like he's got one
Speaker 6: chance and he's giving me his opening set.
Speaker 2: And I know I'm not like an agent, but I'm an.
Speaker 6: Established comedian and he's saying a version of that.
Speaker 2: But it's like the worst possible.
Speaker 6: Version of I've realized I've had a type and it's
Speaker 6: black and Jewish women.
Speaker 7: Oh and it was a delivery, I know, so unsure
Speaker 7: about the delivery.
Speaker 2: He should have been he should be questioning it.
Speaker 4: He should be questioning it.
Speaker 2: You should go back to the drawing board.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Maybe I'm a bit too like mean with people, but
Speaker 6: like I was trying to like take the pits out
Speaker 6: of him at points, and I think.
Speaker 4: Grace, did you bully him on the date?
Speaker 2: I think I did, Honestly.
Speaker 6: I think if you listen back, I think I kind
Speaker 6: of did bully him because there's one bit where like
Speaker 6: I just couldn't even refrain from being.
Speaker 2: Like, what the fuck and maybe you grace. No, I know,
Speaker 2: but maybe like.
Speaker 6: Listening back to it, I'm like this, maybe this is
Speaker 6: what I'm like all the time. But he said something
Speaker 6: really wrong. He described a part of London. He pronounced
Speaker 6: it wrong, and I was just like, no, I can't,
Speaker 6: I can't do this.
Speaker 2: I want to see your standard.
Speaker 1: Where is it said.
Speaker 2: You're from like New Orleans? Awesome? Yeah? Where nice?
Speaker 1: Ascending?
Speaker 2: No, but that's just now you say it.
Speaker 6: I don't need to get embarrassed like I wasn't in
Speaker 6: a less public way being recorded.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you're correcting my pronunciation, that was but you're
Speaker 1: from bar Yeah, well we're speaking correctly apparently.
Speaker 6: No, don't know how to say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what to say. We don't say
Speaker 2: Greenwich either.
Speaker 1: That's true, we should should.
Speaker 2: God, I thought, I'm really upset you.
Speaker 1: All right, just changed the momentum.
Speaker 7: Look, I'm going so red and like sweating. How awkward
Speaker 7: you two are?
Speaker 6: No, isn't that that awkward silence that he drinks his water?
Speaker 4: He did send like Daniel Craigan knives out.
Speaker 2: Yes he did.
Speaker 6: Oh my, that's exactly what he sounded like, Dalston.
Speaker 7: Look, I'm from Ireland, so I would probably pronounce that Darrylston.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's fine, but it sounds really cool when you
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 4: But yeah, but that's because in Ireland.
Speaker 6: But also if you if you did that, I would
Speaker 6: be like, ros does not say it and he you
Speaker 6: say Dulston Dalston.
Speaker 2: You have an Irish.
Speaker 6: Accent, so you have like that's why you would say
Speaker 6: it differently because you have it an accent. He's got
Speaker 6: like a Southern English accent. But then he just sounded
Speaker 6: like it was in New Orleans, like, hey, we're gonna
Speaker 6: go down to Dalston to that.
Speaker 7: You know what, I can just instantly tell that you
Speaker 7: two are never ever going to see each other again.
Speaker 6: No, or maybe we'll bump into each other in a
Speaker 6: green room of a comedy club and I'll be like lo, And.
Speaker 4: It's crazy because he's so good looking, you know.
Speaker 2: Like I know looks on everything.
Speaker 4: No, they're not, and.
Speaker 7: They like, you know what, after a couple of years,
Speaker 7: if you're with someone and you're only with them for
Speaker 7: good looks, like I.
Speaker 2: Can tell you boring.
Speaker 4: There want to be something else going on. Yeah, he
Speaker 4: doesn't need to be funny, Yeah he needs to be
Speaker 4: a funny thing.
Speaker 2: I think just stick in your lane, like you're hot.
Speaker 6: Yeah, don't try and claim that you're also comedian, because
Speaker 6: that's like my thing.
Speaker 7: But also you're kind of like putting this big expectation
Speaker 7: on that, Like you're going on a date with a comedian,
Speaker 7: so you're expecting the date to be so funny.
Speaker 4: He should have just said nothing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, judging for like an hour spent on a date
Speaker 6: with him, I'm thinking he should be a model.
Speaker 7: You know what, though, I hope we have to swallow
Speaker 7: our words and he's like really big next year and
Speaker 7: he'll be like nice, We'll be like, well, he'll go
Speaker 7: on a podcast he's like, well, I remember listening to
Speaker 7: this podcast. He's two girls absolutely assassinated me.
Speaker 4: And that's when that's when I changed.
Speaker 6: To me say, yeah, the moments that I've been most
Speaker 6: burred on to work hard in my career is when
Speaker 6: I've been rejected or like humiliated by man, and it
Speaker 6: really spurs me on.
Speaker 2: But what I don't want to do is him be
Speaker 2: really successful.
Speaker 6: And then it's like, lo, look at you, Grace, who
Speaker 6: are you nothing?
Speaker 8: Now?
Speaker 2: Look at me? Look at me? The apollo it's.
Speaker 4: Like that was their feeling moment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is his were doing him
Speaker 2: a favor.
Speaker 4: I just think you two guys just do not gell.
Speaker 7: You can just tell like I'm listening to the kids here,
Speaker 7: and I'm like, in a sweat of awkwardness.
Speaker 6: No, it was really really it was really awkward, and
Speaker 6: I actually wanted it to end really early.
Speaker 4: Is this where you ran off?
Speaker 2: I took the dog to the toilet.
Speaker 3: Okay, I've just gone to the toilet and it's just
Speaker 3: pretty fucking boring. I don't think he has anything interesting
Speaker 3: to say.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 3: He's just giving me absolutely nothing.
Speaker 7: I would love to have been the person in the
Speaker 7: cubicle besides you being like, what the what's going on there?
Speaker 2: I know? And I took the dog into the toilet
Speaker 2: with me.
Speaker 6: Usually when I'm on a date, I'll leave the dog
Speaker 6: with the person when I go for a wee.
Speaker 2: But I was like, I'm not leaving my dog with
Speaker 2: this man.
Speaker 4: He's not a dog person.
Speaker 2: No. So I feel like.
Speaker 6: I've been on a few dates like that where you're
Speaker 6: just willing for it to end and you're just thinking
Speaker 6: of different ways that you could leave the day, and
Speaker 6: this was one of them.
Speaker 7: You know what, though, Like I think everyone listening to
Speaker 7: this will have been on a similar date where you're
Speaker 7: just actually thinking like how can I.
Speaker 4: Get out of this?
Speaker 7: But in all honesty, it sounds like he wanted to
Speaker 7: get out of it too.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I mean, I I agree, I'm stealing your main character
Speaker 7: energy names.
Speaker 2: I agree. No, no, no, I.
Speaker 4: Actually think both of you were like this needs to end.
Speaker 6: It was fucking uncomfortable. Yeah, it was really uncomfortable.
Speaker 4: And do you know what he probably knew He was like,
Speaker 4: what are the chances?
Speaker 6: But also not to be rude, but like people that
Speaker 6: repeatedly have dates like cut short, maybe they need to
Speaker 6: self reflect a bit.
Speaker 7: My friend was actually telling me a story recently how
Speaker 7: she went on a date with the guy and she
Speaker 7: gave her She was like straightway, She's like, just don't
Speaker 7: want to be on this date, but she's such a
Speaker 7: nice person. She kind of fulfilled the date and they
Speaker 7: were kind of lingering, and she went, oh, my god,
Speaker 7: my friend is in town with her kids. One of
Speaker 7: her kids just fall and I'm going to run over
Speaker 7: to her like OtherSide town. And he went, okay, let's
Speaker 7: go and started running with her, and she was like,
Speaker 7: she just didn't know how to get into it. She
Speaker 7: kept going, she kept running, and she was just like
Speaker 7: trying to run faster, and.
Speaker 4: She was like, no, no, it's fine, it's fine, like
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 7: And then she got to the shopping center where her
Speaker 7: friend was not there, and then she pretended her battery
Speaker 7: died and she couldn't. She just said, she just said,
Speaker 7: it's like digging a hole and just couldn't get away
Speaker 7: from him.
Speaker 2: That's what I mean. But there's kind of being on
Speaker 2: dates with men. It's almost like you're being kidnapped.
Speaker 4: Oh listen, terrifying, terrifying.
Speaker 1: What's the comedians? You know that the Tommy something died
Speaker 1: on stage? Who's that Tommy Cooper?
Speaker 2: He died on stage? Wait?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 2: My dad always looks for him. Wait, so I have
Speaker 2: to google that? Yeah? Wow.
Speaker 6: Then fifty nineteen eighty four was one no comedy fan
Speaker 6: will ever forget. Millions student to watch the hit variety
Speaker 6: show live from Her Majesty's only to see Tommy Cooper
Speaker 6: suffer a massive fatal heart attack on stage as he collapsed,
Speaker 6: uproorious applause from an audience.
Speaker 2: Of course, it was all part of the act.
Speaker 6: The Welsh comedy legend died as he lived, making people laugh.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is awful. No, that's that's such
Speaker 2: a great way to go though, No, it's not.
Speaker 6: It's such a bittersweet thing.
Speaker 2: I think. I'm not sure about that.
Speaker 1: I think if you would have died doing what you love,
Speaker 1: like actually in the throes.
Speaker 6: Of doing No, I'm not saying about him, it might
Speaker 6: have been nice for him, but it's like a bit
Speaker 6: sad that the audience that he knew loved him watched
Speaker 6: him die.
Speaker 4: That's something you might think and you go, well, Jesus,
Speaker 4: I can't believe you. I thought that. You don't say
Speaker 4: that load.
Speaker 6: But it's basically I sort of feel like it's like
Speaker 6: that thing. I mean, even when somebody says it's really poetic,
Speaker 6: I'm like gag in my mouth, like just grow up.
Speaker 2: Who do you think you are? But it's really like
Speaker 2: when people.
Speaker 6: Are trying to sort of make things a bit deep,
Speaker 6: maybe a bit too meaningful.
Speaker 2: And maybe he's also been too much of a contrarian.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 6: It felt like he was sort of trying to like
Speaker 6: have like a bit of a controversial opinion. But I
Speaker 6: was just like, what is this guy talking about?
Speaker 7: Yeah, because obviously the story about your man Tommy Cooper
Speaker 7: is like, oh my god, that's crazy.
Speaker 4: I never heard of that either.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that.
Speaker 4: But like he had a whole ordering of people who
Speaker 4: watched him die.
Speaker 7: He probably didn't get him help for ages because they
Speaker 7: were like, oh, it's part of the show.
Speaker 2: Well that's because they thought it was part of the act.
Speaker 6: That makes me so sad thinking that a man was
Speaker 6: literally dying while people were laughing. Imagine dying to the
Speaker 6: sound of people laughing at you.
Speaker 2: It's fucked up.
Speaker 7: He was pretty young, so like that was probably quite
Speaker 7: intense and painful and a horrible way to go.
Speaker 6: And then people are watching you die. Yeah, I think
Speaker 6: that's just awful.
Speaker 4: You know what, It got worse and worse, didn't it.
Speaker 2: It did.
Speaker 4: I actually didn't think it could get worse, and then
Speaker 4: it just got worse.
Speaker 2: It was. It was a really uncomfortable day. Yeah, have
Speaker 2: you had a nice time on this day? Average four
Speaker 2: out of ten?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's been unusual. Your company is lovely, but
Speaker 1: it's not a.
Speaker 2: Date, you know, I mean, yeah, yeah, no, I get that.
Speaker 1: I hope I don't come across like a frick.
Speaker 6: You won't.
Speaker 2: You won't promise.
Speaker 4: You didn't come across as a prick.
Speaker 7: Dan, you came across as a little bit weird though,
Speaker 7: a little creepy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit of a freak, Yeah, a little
Speaker 2: bit of freak.
Speaker 7: He was coming across as just been a bit dry,
Speaker 7: but then he ended on a real high of being
Speaker 7: like fucking weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you know what.
Speaker 6: I just can't handle it when people don't even know
Speaker 6: how to like remotely sort of not flir, Like it's
Speaker 6: not necessarily I'm asking you to flir, but like there's
Speaker 6: a spectrum, and he was so far on the other
Speaker 6: end of weird that there was sort of no way
Speaker 6: for it to be like a fun day because I
Speaker 6: was like, if you're maybe joking about some of these
Speaker 6: things you're saying, then I can take the piss out
Speaker 6: of you.
Speaker 2: And I did try and take the piss out of you.
Speaker 2: You told me that I was condescending.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what, Like it's funny.
Speaker 7: It's one of the one where I'm like, I almost
Speaker 7: would like for you to go and meet him again
Speaker 7: to actually see because it was obviously he knew he's
Speaker 7: being recorded, he just wasn't himself.
Speaker 6: Or we should go, and we should go and I'll
Speaker 6: go in disguise to gigs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I wouldn't put you through that, that would
Speaker 2: be great.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, thank you so much Rod for disctioning that
Speaker 2: with me.
Speaker 7: And this, I feel like this episode needs to be
Speaker 7: in memory of Tommy Cooper.
Speaker 6: Yes, in Memoriam next time. On twenty eight dates Later,
Speaker 6: we went to like a mini golf that was sex theme.
Speaker 4: Not a drugsposition. Crazy golf and sex. I can't think
Speaker 4: of an environment that's least sexual than crazy golf.
Speaker 5: Around me, I'm a savage.
Speaker 6: Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
Speaker 6: For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audios. The series
Speaker 6: is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Speaker 6: Pasu and Dan Whyde. The producer is Diggory Way. The
Speaker 6: executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are Mythillye Raw
Speaker 6: and Max O'Brien. Production management from Charie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
Speaker 6: Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development.
Speaker 1: Novel