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Speaker 1: Uh, I'm knocking down. I'm knocking juicy u.

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Speaker 2: Ji based hook you jacking damn my fasta chacking bass

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Speaker 2: hook you jacking dam.

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Speaker 1: My fasta Domo.

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Speaker 2: Jube by her lesson.

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Speaker 3: To you?

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Speaker 1: What time? Welcome back? I'm Nila from Erica. Day y'alls.

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Speaker 1: What's up that much? It is early in the morning.

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Speaker 1: It's not really that early. It's ten.

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Speaker 4: Ten till eight till nine am.

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Speaker 1: We are recording early. Yeah, so it's really it's last week, I.

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Speaker 5: Know, because I don't really have any current events.

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Speaker 1: We can't talk about current events because we don't know

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Speaker 1: what's going to happen between then and now. It's a mystery,

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Speaker 1: you know, like there might be some breaking news, hopefully not.

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Speaker 1: I'm cool on the breaking too, I'm like tapped out,

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Speaker 1: Like the nipsy thing has like taken all of the

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Speaker 1: energy from me. I literally cried the other day alone

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Speaker 1: in my in my living room about it. It's too much.

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Speaker 1: I was looking at a picture or like someone had

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Speaker 1: posted something, and I just I broke down. I just

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Speaker 1: started crying. I don't even know this man like that,

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Speaker 1: And I was like, why am I so affected by this?

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm overly emotional my cancer ass.

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Speaker 4: I could cry a stranger in the street with no

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Speaker 4: with no pretense annoying them at all.

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Speaker 1: What happened? So I tried.

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Speaker 4: I tried to like acknowledge it and take it in

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Speaker 4: and then like let it, like release it, because I can.

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Speaker 4: I can hold onto shit for a long time. We're

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Speaker 4: just something I should talk about. We should talk about

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Speaker 4: how we handle it, handle our emotions and if we

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Speaker 4: deal with them, because remember we talked about that in

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Speaker 4: Mexico fourteen weeks ago. What if we if we did,

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Speaker 4: because like we're so strong and we're so rational if

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Speaker 4: we deal with things and we're actually dealing with them.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, that's another topic.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so many topics. We have Bruna here today, a

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Speaker 4: special special guest.

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Speaker 5: Hello, Hello, thank you.

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Speaker 3: I was like about to jump in so many times.

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Speaker 3: I was like, let me just let me wait.

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Speaker 4: Bruna the life coach, relationship expert.

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Speaker 5: Yeah sure, sure, what How what do you call it?

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Speaker 1: What is your title? You know everyone, I hate titles

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Speaker 1: in this life, and I.

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Speaker 5: Hate that because I'm like, I don't know, I'm a

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Speaker 5: human being.

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Speaker 3: Usually I usually just say author, speaker, and coach, just

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Speaker 3: because relationship expert is definitely.

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Speaker 5: A label I've been given.

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Speaker 1: But I'm like, is anyone actually a relationship expert though? Right? Expert?

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Speaker 5: Right? And also I don't know that I am.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to like sell myself short because there

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Speaker 3: are some people who wouldn't hear that and be like, Bruna,

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Speaker 3: you've put in the work you deserve to. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I get it, but like I to me and maybe

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Speaker 3: it's just me. When I hear relationship expert or just

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Speaker 3: expert in general, there's like some like elite feeling of that,

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Speaker 3: like oh, I'm above you, I know better than you,

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Speaker 3: And my whole brand is basically like I don't know

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Speaker 3: better than you. I just have tools and resources to

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Speaker 3: help lead you wherever you need to go. But I'm

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Speaker 3: not going to sit here and be like, oh, you

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Speaker 3: should be doing this, this and that.

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Speaker 5: Well, I think that makes for a good a good expert.

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Speaker 5: Thank you. Well then I'll take it.

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Speaker 3: Yes, brunan Essa, relationship expert and so many other things.

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of questions for you. Never what

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Speaker 1: you told me earlier this morning, Yeah, you're right. I

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Speaker 1: told Drila that do not let me talk anymore about

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Speaker 1: my current relationship because I'm becoming that annoying bitch that

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Speaker 1: I can't stand that like is like has to update

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Speaker 1: with her friends on every moment and every it's like

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Speaker 1: updating news, like guess what this is the text? Guess

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Speaker 1: what you didn't respond and then guess what my response was.

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Speaker 1: That's what we do, That's what chicks do, and it

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Speaker 1: is annoying. But I mean, I'm not annoyed by it.

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Speaker 1: I don't care, but I'm just saying sometimes, well, now

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Speaker 1: you're not annoyed by it, but you made me have

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge it the other day because you're like, I'm

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Speaker 1: so happy I'm not in a relationship you. The amount

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Speaker 1: of like you. What I'm watching you makes me not

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Speaker 1: want to be in one. And I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: she's right watching me is making me question why even

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Speaker 1: it just makes me that it makes you crazy. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not calling you crazy.

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Speaker 4: I'm just like, I can see how another person can

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Speaker 4: make you crazy, like everything they don't do, they do

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Speaker 4: do questioning it and I'm like, oh no, no, it

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Speaker 4: will take up energy because that's what people do.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to ask her anything specific?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 1: No, she's not not on just lying, not on the record,

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Speaker 1: off records, lots of things. Are you sure, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: need to talk. I've learned my lesson and I need

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Speaker 1: to talk to him first about certain things before I

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Speaker 1: talk about things on our podcast, and then his secret

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Speaker 1: stalkers then report back to him what I've said.

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Speaker 5: That was a very it's fun.

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Speaker 1: That was so great that that was I think that

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Speaker 1: was a rare occasion, like one probably still I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but I know it's a she's probably

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Speaker 1: still listening out. Hey girl, Yeah, it.

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Speaker 4: Was only only a crazy bitch has time to do

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Speaker 4: something like that, because we've got a whole lot of

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Speaker 4: long ass.

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Speaker 1: Episodes, because you got time.

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Speaker 5: You got a whole a lot of times, and you

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Speaker 5: low key like us because clearly if you listen to.

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Speaker 1: That long of us.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, just come hang ye a pseudo fan, Do.

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Speaker 1: We have like a specific topic for today or is

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Speaker 1: it just no? I mean, I want to know more

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Speaker 1: about like how your journey, like why did what? How

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Speaker 1: what led you into? You know your path that you're

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Speaker 1: on now, and I know that you, like you said,

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Speaker 1: you wrote an article about your celibacy, your solibate for

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Speaker 1: over a thousand days or a thousand days, like was

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Speaker 1: it on the dot.

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Speaker 5: Forever today the day? So who is it going to be? Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and all that, like what what led you to that?

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Speaker 1: And because you know, Jamila's on her own celibacy journey

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Speaker 1: right now and maybe I need to be on one,

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Speaker 1: pick up the blunt so so yeah, like, tell us

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Speaker 1: a little bit about your career.

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Speaker 5: So where to begin?

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Speaker 1: Where are you from?

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Speaker 3: Sothern California? Arcadia, good old Arcadia. I love Arcadia. That's

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Speaker 3: a nice little town in the valley now right, m hm, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: So I've been in southern California my entire life, which

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of like sad about because I always see

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Speaker 3: people who like leave and go live.

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Speaker 1: Well girls, so early in the game, yeah you can

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Speaker 1: start no kids.

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Speaker 3: Like yet, but I'm trying to have children in the

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Speaker 3: near future with someone Hello, who are you come here?

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Speaker 5: No, but we'll see.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I definitely want to travel a lot, so

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Speaker 3: we'll make it happen. I see myself traveling, but like

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Speaker 3: for work, so I see myself doing either like a documentary,

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Speaker 3: which is something I really want to do, or who knows.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, so so cal native and dating and relationships

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Speaker 3: for whatever reason have just been something I've always been

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Speaker 3: fascinated by, and I think it's because what you were

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Speaker 3: just talking about, like you can be who you are

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Speaker 3: and then someone else enters the picture and all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden, You're like, who is this?

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Speaker 5: Who am I?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 5: Who am I being right now?

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Speaker 3: And so that was me still is to be honest,

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Speaker 3: and so I'm always like, what the fuck happened? Like

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Speaker 3: what switch went off that made me act this way now?

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Speaker 3: Or you know what's different than the moment before where

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Speaker 3: I didn't care and now all of a sudden, like I'm.

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Speaker 5: Being quote unquote crazy. So so, love.

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Speaker 3: And relationships and just human behavior and psychology have always

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Speaker 3: been an interest of mine. And I was always that

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Speaker 3: friend that people would go to for advice and I

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Speaker 3: didn't know why because I dated the worst people. I

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Speaker 3: was like in the worst positions. I was like, okay, cool, whatever.

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Speaker 3: So over time I just kind of like took on

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Speaker 3: that role. And I initially majored in psych because I again.

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Speaker 5: Love human behavior and all of that.

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Speaker 3: But I took one class in at PCC shout out

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Speaker 3: to Pasadena, and I was like, I'm not doing this,

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Speaker 3: Like there's no way. The syllabus was like eight pages

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Speaker 3: front and back with like the smallest font. It just

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Speaker 3: like super intimidated me, which was new for me because

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Speaker 3: I was I'm such a nerd, like I loved school

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Speaker 3: and so I was sitting there like I'm not doing this.

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Speaker 3: It was a neuropsych class.

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Speaker 5: So I dropped.

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Speaker 3: It was my first class that I ever dropped, and

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Speaker 3: then I shamed myself for it. But after that, I

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Speaker 3: was like, let me try journalism. So I was like

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Speaker 3: to write did journalism?

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Speaker 1: Did?

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Speaker 3: Wrote about you know whatever? And on the school paper.

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Speaker 3: I still wanted to do the dating and relationship stuff,

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Speaker 3: and I pitched a column and this was in I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna age myself. Who fucking years. This is in like

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Speaker 3: two thousand and seven, maybe seven, two thousand and eight.

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Speaker 3: I was like, we should have a column called That's

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Speaker 3: what she said?

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Speaker 5: And it's a.

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Speaker 3: Dating relationship thing where students can write in anonymously and

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Speaker 3: then we just answer anonymously like a dear any type

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Speaker 3: of thing.

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Speaker 5: And then my professor was like no.

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Speaker 3: I was like why not, and he was like, you're

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Speaker 3: gonna embarrass the paper and you're gonna embarrass yourself.

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Speaker 1: Because like wasn't a woman or a man.

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Speaker 5: It was a man.

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Speaker 3: I feel like he already didn't like me because he

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Speaker 3: was so So there's like this journalism thing where print

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Speaker 3: or they say, like print and broadcast people are like

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Speaker 3: don't get a.

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Speaker 4: Or whatever people think take there, They're they're like way

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Speaker 4: more serious.

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Speaker 5: Right right right.

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Speaker 3: So him being like super print man, and he knew

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Speaker 3: I was a broadcast major, but I also wrote for

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Speaker 3: the paper. Some people were like, maybe he just like

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Speaker 3: has it out for you. I was like, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: but this is bullshit. So never ended up getting the column.

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Speaker 3: But over time, I clearly started my own website. So

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Speaker 3: I was just, you know, did the whole college thing,

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Speaker 3: and then I did entertainment journalism first. That was my

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Speaker 3: first career. And while I was doing that, I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm bored. So started the problem with dating, and that

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Speaker 3: is where the journey really began.

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Speaker 4: So you started your own website basically that took over

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Speaker 4: that idea that was supposed to be for the school paper.

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Speaker 1: But he was Nashal and he hated on you, so

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Speaker 1: you did.

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Speaker 3: It on the writing kind of Well, I didn't really

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Speaker 3: do the problem with dating initially was just it was

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Speaker 3: almost like, do you guys remember like Zanga or like

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Speaker 3: live journal. Yeah, okay, so it was kind of like that,

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Speaker 3: but my own thing where I was just writing about

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Speaker 3: my experience because it was the first time I was

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Speaker 3: single in like over ten years.

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Speaker 5: So I was like, I don't know what the fuck

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Speaker 5: to do.

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Speaker 3: Relationship girl, I was relationship hip Oh no, I was

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Speaker 3: a cliff jumper for sure. So I was like, I'm

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Speaker 3: single for the first time, I'm you know, early twenties.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what to do, Like how do you

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Speaker 3: maneuver through this? And so I would go out, I'd

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Speaker 3: meet guys, I'd have really interesting situations happen, and when

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Speaker 3: I would tell my friends' stories, they're like, you should

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Speaker 3: write about this, And I was like, who cares about

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Speaker 3: my shit?

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Speaker 5: And They're like, just do it?

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Speaker 4: Were they like Corey's or are they just like bad

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Speaker 4: relationship experiences?

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Speaker 5: They were just like what the fuck relationship experience?

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Speaker 3: Like I remember specifically the one story that really this

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Speaker 3: all happened. I had gone to San Diego for a

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Speaker 3: journalism convention, but like we all went out and stuff,

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Speaker 3: and so I was out at some club in San

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Speaker 3: Diego and this guy came up to dance behind me.

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Speaker 5: So you already know like.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriends are facing him, I can't see him, so

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Speaker 3: they're giving me the okay, like oh he's cute. Oh

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Speaker 3: he's not like turn, swerve whatever you gotta do to

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Speaker 3: like get away. But they're like hmm.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, all right, that's the universal time

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Speaker 1: everybody knows. If you don't know this, get us together.

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Speaker 1: If you go to the club and you're dancing someone,

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Speaker 1: you're start to move away, and your friends with a

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Speaker 1: looking line, they don't like pull you away immediately it

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Speaker 1: is right, and they give you the look. And your

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Speaker 1: friends and you have real friends, they know the cue

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Speaker 1: is to like let you, and they let you. He's fine,

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Speaker 1: they pull you, but you start run. Your friends definition

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Speaker 1: of fine is not your definition of fine.

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Speaker 3: And then yes, also that's why like when you're dancing,

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Speaker 3: or at least I do, I'll do like a like

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Speaker 3: a little just like let me see them like oh no,

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Speaker 3: but no for this one, he was cute. So I

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Speaker 3: was just like, okay, okay. So we're like dancing and

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Speaker 3: then oh god, and then he tries to finger me

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Speaker 3: on the on the dance put the songs in this

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Speaker 3: is this is like the same song, so red Flag

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Speaker 3: first he was.

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Speaker 5: Like, oh, do you want someone like drink? And he

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Speaker 5: was clearly drunk.

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Speaker 1: First that's me like, sure, sure, you want to drink,

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Speaker 1: you know Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 5: I was like no, I'm good. And so we're dancing

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Speaker 5: and his hands are like on my thighs.

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Speaker 3: So, for visualization purposes, I'm wearing this green little mini

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Speaker 3: skirt and like a just like a little black tank

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Speaker 3: top cute. His hands are on my thighs. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 3: that's fine. Then he starts moving up and then he

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Speaker 3: starts going trying to go in, and that's when I

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Speaker 3: like swerved out and I was like whoa, and he

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Speaker 3: was like whoop there it is.

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Speaker 5: Literally yeah, And I was like oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 1: Not where it's at. That is the fucking the most

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Speaker 1: hilarious line I've ever heard.

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Speaker 5: First of all, you weren't even close. Second of all,

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Speaker 5: what the fuck are you doing? Like what what in

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Speaker 5: your mind? Granted you were probably like so drink you

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Speaker 5: weren't thinking, but.

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Speaker 1: Like wait you wait, oh okaypt going.

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Speaker 5: It was like we can't take this story.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 5: This was two thousand and twenty ten. I think it

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Speaker 5: was like twenty ten.

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Speaker 1: So then what happened there? It is man, you walked away?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I left and then but I told a

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Speaker 3: guy friend that story and he died laughing.

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Speaker 5: And was like, you need to write about this, So

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Speaker 5: I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I did write about that specific story later, but that's

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Speaker 3: what kind of fueled the idea of like, Okay, maybe

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Speaker 3: I should do a website.

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Speaker 5: So I created the problem with dating.

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Speaker 3: I wrote my first post, which was about this guy

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Speaker 3: was talking to or at least I thought we were talking,

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Speaker 3: and then I saw him post a picture of him

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Speaker 3: and another girl on his Instagram, and then went to

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Speaker 3: her Instagram and saw that she called her his boyfriend

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Speaker 3: or called him her boyfriend.

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Speaker 5: So I was just like, hmm, what's going on?

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Speaker 3: So that was my first post, which was like welcome

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Speaker 3: to the gray area, a place full of uncertainty and

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Speaker 3: what the fucks or something like that. Waited like two

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Speaker 3: months before I published, because I was terrified, Like I

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Speaker 3: I already wrote for the masses, because I wrote for

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Speaker 3: a big entertainment company, and so I already knew like

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Speaker 3: what it felt like to have thousands or sometimes millions

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Speaker 3: of people read your work.

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Speaker 5: So it wasn't that fear. It was I was writing

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Speaker 5: about other people.

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Speaker 1: But when you write about yourself, your own shit.

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Speaker 4: Right right, podcast right, right, right, judge, because it's it's

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Speaker 4: your ship. It's not right you like interpreting someone else's experience, right,

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Speaker 4: It's not.

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Speaker 3: Me delivering facts on someone else. It's me being like,

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Speaker 3: so here's my intimate details or.

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Speaker 1: Shit, my writing. Judge me on both right and inspect

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Speaker 1: and you know, right, whoever else is on the other

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Speaker 1: end of that for sure has a different perspective of

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Speaker 1: how it went.

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Speaker 3: Down, of course, or just even like even if they

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Speaker 3: weren't a part of the situation, like oh wow, that's

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Speaker 3: how you handle things, like, you know, there's unlimited room

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Speaker 3: for that.

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Speaker 5: So then I was like, you know what, fuck it.

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Speaker 3: So I put it up and then the next day

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Speaker 3: I was like flooded with comments and views and all this.

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Speaker 3: But it was all good when they're like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 3: we love this, and I was like, oh okay. So

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Speaker 3: for a long time I did that and my job

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Speaker 3: like that was my hobby and I had my stable,

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Speaker 3: secure paying job. But as the problem with dating started

344
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Speaker 3: to get pick up, I was being asked more to

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Speaker 3: like do interviews, be on panels, and my job would

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Speaker 3: shut it down because they were.

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Speaker 1: Just like, that was a conflict.

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Speaker 3: It's not a conflict because I already before I started,

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Speaker 3: I talked to them. I was like, is that going

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Speaker 3: to be an issue, and they're like, well, no, since

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Speaker 3: you're not doing celebrity news, like it's a completely But

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Speaker 3: then it later it became like, but you represent the company,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like okay. So over the course of I

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Speaker 3: want to say, five years maybe or so, I was

355
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,960
Speaker 3: juggling both, but it was clear that like I really

356
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Speaker 3: loved the problem with dating in that world, and I

357
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,240
Speaker 3: was more fueled and inspired.

358
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Speaker 5: HM and so.

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Speaker 3: At some point I knew I had to make a

360
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,960
Speaker 3: decision because I knew also that if I clung to

361
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Speaker 3: this like stability and security that felt really nice but

362
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,639
Speaker 3: wasn't inspiring me, I was not going to get to

363
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Speaker 3: where I could get as far as my potential.

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Speaker 5: So I was I quit.

365
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Speaker 1: That's a huge that's a huge lesson. It's such a

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Speaker 1: huge lession. I mean, actually it's funny to say that

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Speaker 1: because a girl. When I did that panel last week,

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Speaker 1: one of the questions was, you know, I have a

369
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Speaker 1: really great job where I can travel, and you know,

370
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Speaker 1: you know, I'm getting paid, but I hate my job.

371
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Speaker 1: And but and what I really want to do is

372
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Speaker 1: I want to sort of travel blog and I want to,

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Speaker 1: like you know that I want that to be my life.

374
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Speaker 1: What do I do? Because I have stability, you know,

375
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 1: and I and I and I am traveling. Should I

376
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,320
Speaker 1: just keep it and try to like change my perspective

377
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 1: on what I'm doing and basically play it safe? Or

378
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 1: I told her, I said, you know what, you only

379
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 1: have lived once? Do you want to look back on

380
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,479
Speaker 1: your life? And I mean, and I know that's scary

381
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 1: because stability is important, especially me as a parent, Like

382
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 1: it's super especially for Los Angeles living right. But at

383
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 1: the same time, I mean, I'm not telling you that.

384
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Speaker 1: I told her, I'm not telling you to quit your

385
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Speaker 1: job today, like you should plan you.

386
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 3: Should be right, you know, but like, yeah, and she

387
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 3: has a luxury of like if you're already traveling, start

388
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 3: building the blog and readership and eyes so while you travel, right,

389
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 3: But but yeah.

390
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,119
Speaker 1: Like you have it's scary And for those like women listening,

391
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 1: because I know so many people probably listening to are

392
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 1: not happy in their jobs and I want to be,

393
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 1: you know, doing something else than it's another type of career.

394
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Speaker 5: Do it, you know right, but plan plan right.

395
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Speaker 4: It is funny that you said that's it, because this

396
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,919
Speaker 4: week I had a really bad idea to like do

397
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 4: this like like overnight job because I'm like, I need

398
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,399
Speaker 4: more money than that.

399
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 1: It's like America, and I thought I was a great job.

400
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 1: That was a sign from God or She literally was like,

401
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 1: I have I got a sign. It's so crazy.

402
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,439
Speaker 4: I was in the shower and I told her. She

403
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 4: was like, absolutely not. It's a terrible idea.

404
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 1: Really, She's like like, who are you fucking kidding? And

405
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 1: I told two other friends and they like laughed at

406
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 1: me absurdly. So I was still gonna go. I was

407
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 1: still gonna go to this like forty five minutes. First, well,

408
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,439
Speaker 1: it's not that we don't support your decision. You know

409
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 1: what you want to do. I just know that you're

410
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,640
Speaker 1: not I know. Last The fun up part is after

411
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 1: I thought it through thoroughly, it's like, God, I'm so

412
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 1: mad they know me better than I know myself. I

413
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 1: got I'm mad They're right.

414
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 4: And I got up to go and I started driving

415
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 4: over there, and I I.

416
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 1: Was like, first time I started calculating that money and

417
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 1: I was like this is not a lot of money.

418
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 1: And then I was like, it's funny, how like in

419
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 1: my mind I had started justifying like, Okay, I can

420
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 1: have a little action money. I could do this, But

421
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 1: the reality is I could make that same amount of

422
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 1: money if I just put that same amount of effort

423
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 1: on something that was like what I actually do. And

424
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 1: I had to have a conversation with myself. It's like

425
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 1: it's easy to put your like your stability and your

426
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 1: worries into something stable because it's stable and it's you

427
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,439
Speaker 1: know it's going to be there every week. But then

428
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 1: there's always that anxiety if you don't show up, there's

429
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: an anxiety that you really don't want to go. I've

430
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 1: had a lot of jobs, and I've yeah, that always

431
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: happens eventually, like someone irritates you. Someone's might go managing

432
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,160
Speaker 1: you because there must be in their lives. They're dumb,

433
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,439
Speaker 1: and they try to tell you things you already know,

434
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 1: and then you get annoyed and then you're like why

435
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,359
Speaker 1: am I even here? And you've become immune to like

436
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 1: getting that little piece of change once a week that's

437
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 1: really not that much, and then you don't put that

438
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: same effort into what you can.

439
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 3: You also just don't take into consideration how much it

440
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 3: really affects you on like an energetic level and just

441
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 3: like in general, yeah, because you keep convincing yourself like no,

442
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,120
Speaker 3: but this is how it is. But this is how

443
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 3: it is, you know, like, of course everyone hates their job,

444
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 3: so it's fine. It's like no, no, no, no, know, there

445
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 3: are people who love their job, and there are people who,

446
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: if they do hate their job, choose to do what

447
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 3: they love. Like, you don't have to buy into this

448
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 3: whole narrative of oh, you go to school, you graduate,

449
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 3: you get a job, and then you're miserable because that's

450
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 3: adulthood and until.

451
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: Saturday, in which case until Friday at five, and then

452
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 1: you're happy.

453
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 4: Or drawn until Monday and a half days you're just

454
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 4: living your life, right, that's just.

455
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 1: Use to believe that bullshit. It takes a whole day

456
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: to unfucking pack. I mean it takes more than a

457
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: whole day. It takes a few days for you to

458
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,479
Speaker 1: unpack all the ship you dealt with all week. So

459
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: by the time you get back to Monday, it's like

460
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,439
Speaker 1: it doesn't even matter, right, energy fucking drainer.

461
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's your day, you decided to but I

462
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 3: did that thing to go and yeah, and it wasn't

463
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 3: an overnight thing. Like that's the planning is crucial because

464
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,959
Speaker 3: it's especially right now. I feel like we're in a

465
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 3: time where it's more acceptable to kind of like stray

466
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 3: from the norm, not do the whole corporate thing, do

467
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 3: the whole you know, venture out on your own freelance

468
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,439
Speaker 3: life whatever. But first of all, if you love your

469
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 3: nine to five, like, more power to you. It's not

470
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 3: about like no stick it to the man.

471
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:11,880
Speaker 5: Type of thing.

472
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 3: It's just like if you love it, cool, if you

473
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,919
Speaker 3: don't start looking at other options. And luckily for me,

474
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 3: like I'm so grateful for my mom because she taught

475
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 3: me how to be smart with my money from a

476
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 3: young age. Because I think it was also that just

477
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 3: like immigrant mentality, like survival and stuff.

478
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 5: Lebanon. Oh, I was born there, my mom's from there,

479
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 5: my dad's from there.

480
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 4: Yeah. I really want to take a like financial education

481
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 4: for women, like do you know, not like Susie Ormand because.

482
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: Then she like go to you, but like.

483
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 5: So maybe not her.

484
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 1: I feel like that is.

485
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 4: Like my relationship with money period. I mean, like my

486
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 4: like even on an energetic level, like what is my parents'

487
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 4: relationship with money?

488
00:23:58,440 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 1: What is their parents lationship with money?

489
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 6: A lot of like I just wrote about this, yeah,

490
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 6: like I feel like it affects a lot of like

491
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 6: my procrastination, my like my lack of discipline, my lack

492
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 6: of like planning financially because it was not it was

493
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 6: there was never a conversation about it.

494
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, that's that's huge. First of all,

495
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 3: no one talks about it. And that's something I didn't

496
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 3: really come to terms with until this year because when

497
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 3: I went to like train to be a coach, you

498
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: get coached, and I realized quickly I had a lot

499
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 3: of limiting, limiting beliefs around money because I grew up,

500
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 3: which is no fault to my parents, but like they

501
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 3: were survival first and foremost. So that mentality led to

502
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 3: me feeling like I was in a place of lack,

503
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 3: like I'm coming from scarcity, not abundance, and so any

504
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 3: money I had, I'm clinging to it and like I

505
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 3: don't want to spend it because I may never see

506
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 3: you know exactly, And so I really and I'm still

507
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 3: working on that because it's just like that's fucked up.

508
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 5: You know to have that in grained in you when

509
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 5: you don't need to.

510
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 7: And you don't you even you're not even making the

511
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 7: conscious decision right right, right what it is. And the

512
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 7: fact I never even thought about it as a factor

513
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 7: until my adulthood, like deep and like recently that do

514
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 7: I have a certain perspective of finances because of other

515
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 7: things that I'm not aware of. You know, someone once

516
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 7: told me that spiritually i'n't gonna have to shoot you know,

517
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:26,399
Speaker 7: like I'm crazy that your relationship, like your relationship with

518
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 7: money is directly correlated with like your father.

519
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: Or something like that, like something like your father, or

520
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: well that's the case, I should be real, real cheap.

521
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: There's a reason my dad's been retired for four hundred

522
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 1: years and it's still okay. But I don't know how

523
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 1: true that is.

524
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 3: I've actually heard the opposite, that it's the same as

525
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,719
Speaker 3: your mother energy or something. Either way, it's like, I mean,

526
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 3: the spiritual stuff we can talk about for weeks, but

527
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,239
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, it's like, Okay, I

528
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 3: need to I needed to reframe the way I looked

529
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 3: at money. You know, money is the root of all evil.

530
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 3: Like money, I don't care about the money.

531
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 5: I do care about them. I gotta live, you know.

532
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 5: And so it was.

533
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 3: Stopping the whole framework of thinking like, oh, it's me

534
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 3: versus money and being like, oh no, me and money

535
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 3: are homies, like it flows easily into my life. And

536
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 3: also with the whole job thing like you were talking

537
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 3: about a little bit ago.

538
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 5: When you do work at.

539
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 3: A corporation and you start seeing the work you put in,

540
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 3: you will also realize the amount of money I could

541
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: make on my own doing this, Like I secured rollout

542
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 3: plans and shit that was then sold to Amazon for

543
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 3: who knows how much money you think.

544
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 5: I saw any of that.

545
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 3: No, So then I was like, all right, if I

546
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 3: can do this for multi billion dollar corporations, I can

547
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 3: do this shit for myself. So it's just a matter

548
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 3: of switching gears, but also that self discipline.

549
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,120
Speaker 4: And knowing your value, right with how valuable you worked

550
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 4: in that company, right. But you know, when you start

551
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 4: to see yourself and your own time, is that with

552
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 4: that you know the same value in regard of putting

553
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 4: a money sign on it.

554
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: Then you start to realize.

555
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 3: Like yeah, and we always tell ourselves short, We're like,

556
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 3: oh no, I need that big name or that those

557
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 3: resources or what. No, because you were the one that's

558
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 3: executing the work at the end of the day and

559
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 3: delivering the product.

560
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 5: So I don't even know how we got here, but yeah,

561
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 5: so I quit.

562
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,120
Speaker 1: And then I.

563
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 3: Decided to make the problem with dating my purpose. Well

564
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 3: what already was my purpose, but like really focusing on that,

565
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 3: and so that led to freelance writing. So now I'm

566
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:45,479
Speaker 3: a dating columnist for Playboy. Write for them. Often I

567
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 3: was like, what's English? I like blanked. And then doing

568
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 3: my book, Like my book came out of the problem

569
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 3: with dating because everyone was reading all these different stories

570
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 3: and you're like, when are you going to.

571
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 5: Do a book?

572
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 3: And I was like, I don't know about all that,

573
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 3: but it came. It came to me through a lot

574
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 3: of that was also like a spiritual journey. But let

575
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 3: that shit go was a big move and I knew too.

576
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 5: I lagged. It took me three years.

577
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 3: To do it, and I knew it was because whenever

578
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 3: I would work on the book, which changed throughout the

579
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 3: course of time, so many times I kept hearing, once

580
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 3: you put this book out, everything's gonna happen, and I

581
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 3: was like, I was terrified.

582
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 5: I was like, I don't know if I'm ready. Because

583
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 5: it's also like.

584
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 3: When you're in the quote public eye and you open

585
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 3: yourself up to all that judgment that we talked about.

586
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 3: You can sit here and be like, no, I'm not

587
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 3: gonna listen it up. But with Twitter and like just

588
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 3: seeing that shit.

589
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 5: It weighs on you no matter even.

590
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 3: Though you know, like ye affecting you right, and you're

591
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 3: just like I know you ain't shit, but I still

592
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 3: have to see these words and like then you start

593
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 3: wondering and questioning and whatever. So I had to build

594
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 3: my self confidence and like also learn how to kind

595
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 3: of detach myself from all that so I can be

596
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: able to serve the people that I actually do serve

597
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 3: and not let those who just want to like dampen

598
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 3: the mood have so much control over what I do.

599
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: So so in your book you talk about.

600
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 5: So many things kind of I always it's a journey

601
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 5: to forgiveness. Yeah, it's a journey to forgiveness, healing and

602
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 5: understanding love. So I've always with.

603
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 3: Everything I write and do, I use myself as the example.

604
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 3: So it's never like ten ways to make sure he

605
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 3: texts you back, like I don't know you think if

606
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 3: I knew, I'd be in the situations I'm in.

607
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 5: But yeah, right, So what I've learned is I.

608
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 3: Can look at the experiences I've had personally and then

609
00:29:55,640 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 3: use it as a way to kind of like bring

610
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 3: the lesson to the forefront. So let that shit go.

611
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:07,479
Speaker 3: Is a compilation of different relationships I've had with various

612
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 3: men in my life, and through that I illustrate the

613
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 3: lessons I've learned about myself, the lessons I've learned about love,

614
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 3: about forgiveness, about healing, and you know, the different traumas

615
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 3: and things that I didn't even realize I had dealt

616
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 3: with until I put it on paper and kind of

617
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 3: like took that outside of myself to really be able

618
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 3: to observe it instead of like being it. And I

619
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 3: was like, oh shit.

620
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 5: So it was like a heavy experience to do, but

621
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 5: it was so rewarding and a really like dope way

622
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 5: to kind of close that chapter of my life and

623
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 5: kind of open myself up to whatever is gonna come next.

624
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 1: Do you think, because like, are you have you ever

625
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: had have you ever been in therapy? No? Just so

626
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: you don't have an therapy Because I'm curious because some

627
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: people feel like therapy is the only way, the only way,

628
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: is the best way to get through things. Do you

629
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: think they do you? Would you consider yourself like a

630
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 1: therapist or like no, just because I haven't agree with that,

631
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: do you? Maybe my question more is do you think

632
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 1: that as humans we are totally capable of like self

633
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: reflection and self healing when it's given to us.

634
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 3: Absolutely well, yes, But I'm a big promoter of therapy. Honestly,

635
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 3: the only reason I haven't gone to therapy, and I've

636
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 3: looked into it so many times, is because I don't

637
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 3: have health insurance, Like I don't know, I.

638
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 5: Can't afford it nor Yeah, So I was just like

639
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 5: trying to do.

640
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 3: Self therapy basically, and so it was reading a lot

641
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 3: of different books, It was watching a lot of different documentaries,

642
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 3: doing a lot of writing and journaling and practices.

643
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 5: That I knew would help me.

644
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, and this is

645
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 3: something we talk about in coaching too, which life, coaching

646
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 3: and therapy are often kind of like confused or people

647
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 3: feel like they're the same thing and they're not, because

648
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 3: coaching is, you know, we don't diagnose you, we don't

649
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 3: have the medical background or we don't talk about your past.

650
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: You know, if I was coaching you, for example, and

651
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 3: I noticed that you continuously brought up certain scenarios from

652
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 3: your childhood over and over and over again, because obviously

653
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 3: you might touch on your childhood here and there, but

654
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 3: if it was clear that there was something unhealed there,

655
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 3: then I would be like, you know, maybe therapy would

656
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 3: be better for you to deal with that specific thing,

657
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 3: and we can either do it at the same time

658
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 3: or after you go to therapy for that, you can

659
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 3: come back and do coaching. Because coaching focuses on where

660
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 3: you're at right now and where you're trying to go

661
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 3: and how.

662
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 5: We get you there.

663
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: So so you have to kind of be in the

664
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: in the whoever is like going to be coached kind

665
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: of needs to be detached from their past.

666
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 3: No, you don't have to be detached, but it's like

667
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 3: I've already dealt with it. No, you just need to

668
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 3: be You need to know like what your focus is, like,

669
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 3: what is it that you want out of this? So

670
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 3: if it's like for me my coaching, I focus on

671
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 3: women who want to strengthen their self love. Now that alone,

672
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 3: of course you're gonna like go into your past.

673
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 5: But if you want to sit there for.

674
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 3: A long time and really dissect your past, then I can't.

675
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 3: I can, but it's not beneficial for me because I'm

676
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 3: not a licensed therapist to do that with you. So

677
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 3: that's when I have to take like my moral and

678
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 3: ethic road to be like, Okay, I've noticed there's this

679
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 3: situation with your father that keeps coming up, and maybe

680
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 3: that would be more beneficial to talk to a therapist about.

681
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 3: But I what I can do is help you, you know,

682
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 3: figure out what's going on with you today right now

683
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 3: that's not helping with your self love journey, and then

684
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 3: how we can improve that for the future and things

685
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 3: that we can implement.

686
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 5: Now does that kind of mean? Yeah?

687
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 1: Cause I often wonder, like what, like I do I

688
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: wonder what's the difference between like a therapist?

689
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 3: What is it?

690
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: Just one is more clinical, you know, like which doesn't

691
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 1: necessarily because sometimes I feel like therapists can be like

692
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: can be too detached, whereas I feel like a life

693
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: coach maybe is more involved in your life because sometimes

694
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: therapists don't always ask all the questions that because I mean,

695
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: I guess it's a I guess at the end of

696
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: the day. The goal is for you to come to

697
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: an understanding or forgiveness on your own, you know, and

698
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 1: not influenced by my opinion as your therapist or life coach.

699
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: But I don't know, I mean, I don't know how

700
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: you do that, like detach yourself in that way, you

701
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 1: know what I mean?

702
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's really tough.

703
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: Because yeah, because if you're working with people that you

704
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: start to really care, Like, how.

705
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 3: Do you know, girl, are you talking about being emotional?

706
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 5: I'm so emotional?

707
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 3: Like I cry over commercials like it's so and so

708
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 3: During the coach training, like, I learned so many things

709
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 3: about that detachment, which the word alone makes it feel cold,

710
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 3: you know, but it's not. It's just it's protection, you know.

711
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 3: And so even with emotions, when the first day, I asked,

712
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 3: what if I start crying with them? You know, like

713
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,800
Speaker 3: if I'm with a client and they start getting you know, emotional,

714
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 3: and start crying, I'm a cry.

715
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 5: Like I don't I don't know how to not.

716
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 1: Would be a mess me too. I cried too, but

717
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: even like I have a bed, it's fine.

718
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 3: It was crazy to learn the subconscious messages you're giving

719
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 3: when you do that. So even something as simple as

720
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 3: putting your hand like on their hand or on their knee, or.

721
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 5: Even giving them a tissue. We're not supposed to do that,

722
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 5: like all you have to do.

723
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 3: If we were having a coaching session right now, I

724
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,240
Speaker 3: would already have like a clean xbox here in case.

725
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 3: And I was like, that seems so harsh, Like you

726
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 3: know they're in pain, why wouldn't you give them a tissue?

727
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 3: And then she was like, because what we don't realize

728
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,720
Speaker 3: is when we give someone a tissue and they're crying,

729
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 3: you're subconc justly telling them you're making a mess.

730
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 5: Clean it up.

731
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 3: And you want them to feel okay with whatever they're

732
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 3: going through and cry, and if they want to wipe

733
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 3: their tears or blow their noise or whatever, then they

734
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 3: can make the initiative to do that.

735
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 5: But you don't. You're not the one to tell them, like,

736
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,720
Speaker 5: clean up whatever's going on here, even though we don't

737
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 5: intentionally think that's what we're doing about it that way.

738
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 5: Absolutely not.

739
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: Now that you're saying it that way, I'm like, God

740
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: is true, Like just let them go through their process.

741
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 3: And that's the whole that's literally the whole thing. In

742
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 3: a nutshell, is this is your journey. I'm meeting you

743
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 3: wherever you are, and you're directing us because you do

744
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 3: have all the answers coaches in therapy and all that.

745
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 3: We're just trained to see things that you may not

746
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 3: see and to highlight things that you may not notice,

747
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 3: and to give you the tools and resources to help yourself.

748
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, you are the

749
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 3: captain of this ship. I'm the captain now, Like it's

750
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 3: very much that. So we're just kind of like your sidekick,

751
00:36:55,880 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 3: cheerleader person. But yeah, and then even with the crying

752
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 3: with them, she was like, the goal at the end

753
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 3: of the day is to help your client, and if

754
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 3: you cry, you get into the story with them. So

755
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 3: for me, if I'm ever in that mode where I'm like,

756
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 3: oh shit, like because I can tell when someone's about

757
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 3: to cry and I and then I feel it in

758
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:21,439
Speaker 3: my throat and I'm like, I'm like, Okay, Bruna, you're

759
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 3: here to help her.

760
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 5: If you cry, you're in it with her.

761
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 3: You need to stay back here so that you can

762
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 3: help her and be of service to her. And so

763
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:33,280
Speaker 3: you just got to like shut it down. Not easy

764
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,919
Speaker 3: because I just want to be like, oh my God,

765
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 3: come here, hold you here, Oh I have behind. There

766
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 3: was actually there was one girl we were doing a

767
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 3: short little coaching practice, and.

768
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 5: It was one of those things you have to there's

769
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 5: a lot.

770
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 3: Of intuition that goes into this, you know, a lot

771
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 3: of hearing what's not being said, a lot of noticing

772
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 3: things that you know they don't even realize they're giving off.

773
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 3: And so I'm highly intuitive and I'm sitting there and

774
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 3: we're talking and I could tell I don't know what

775
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 3: it was.

776
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 5: I gave it away.

777
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,319
Speaker 3: There was something she just needed to release. So I

778
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 3: stopped everything and I was just like, how are you

779
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 3: feeling right now? And boom, she just started crying. And

780
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 3: I was like, oh shit, Like I didn't even expect

781
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 3: her to get emotional like that, but I quickly had

782
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 3: to shut it down. And then afterwards I bawled my

783
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 3: eyes out because I was just like it was so

784
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 3: much going on, like there was the empathy for her,

785
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 3: but then it was also like you did that, you know.

786
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,240
Speaker 3: It was one of those things like such a simple

787
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 3: question and we often like overthink things like we have

788
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 3: to be able to like give you the answers and

789
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 3: change your life, and it's like, no, you do that.

790
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 3: But even just taking the time to be like, how

791
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 3: are you feeling right now can make someone like no

792
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 3: one really asks and listens. They just asks because they

793
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 3: feel like it's an obligation. And then let me tell

794
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 3: you about my day, you know, right, So it was

795
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 3: a beautiful thing.

796
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 1: That's amazing. I mean it's like scary and and amazing

797
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 1: at once that you could do. You know.

798
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 3: That the facilitate that journey with them be on the

799
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 3: sidelines as my child go.

800
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: So, what about your celibacy journey? Like what inspired about? Oh?

801
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I don't call it celibacy because I definitely

802
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 3: masturbated and technically like celibacy, you don't touch yourself, you

803
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 3: don't know, well, depending on how you want to define it.

804
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 5: So I'm always like I was just abstaining, but I

805
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 5: was dating well, I don't even know. It was a situationship.

806
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 5: I was like talking to this guy and we clicked.

807
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 3: Right away and it was like clear that there was

808
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 3: a connection there, but when we hooked up, it was like,

809
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 3: I don't know. It brought up all these different feelings

810
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 3: of realizing that I was using sex in a way

811
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 3: that wasn't healthy for me. Like I was just kind

812
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 3: of like.

813
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 5: Oh, so I sleep with guys and hopes that they

814
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 5: want to be with me after.

815
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 3: I sleep with guys because I feel like that's just

816
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:19,799
Speaker 3: what I'm supposed to do. Like, and sex is, you know, liberating,

817
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 3: and it's a sacred thing in my mind in the

818
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 3: sense of not that oh you should only do it

819
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 3: with this person at this time whatever, but it's an

820
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 3: energy exchange, like it's it's something. And I was just

821
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 3: giving it away to people in a sense of like,

822
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,919
Speaker 3: I'm giving this to you in hopes that you find

823
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 3: value in me after. And so I was just like,

824
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 3: that's not healthy.

825
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 1: Right, I think so many we were all guilty of it.

826
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, and it makes sense.

827
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: On some spectrum, whether it's kind of or it's a lot. Yeah.

828
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 4: Yeah.

829
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 1: And so.

830
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 5: When that switch happened and I was like, oh shit,

831
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 5: this is not good.

832
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 4: I was.

833
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 5: At first it started just like with him, I was like,

834
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 5: I don't think we should have sex.

835
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 3: He's like, I understand. We built a friendship, a very

836
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 3: solid friendship. But even after him, I was like, this

837
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 3: goes deeper than you, Like, I maybe I need to

838
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 3: just take sex off the table.

839
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 5: So I didn't have like a timetable.

840
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 3: I wasn't like, oh, the thousandth day, I'm gonna go

841
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 3: have sex. It was just kind of like, until I

842
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 3: meet someone who makes me feel safe and who I

843
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 3: feel I can be intimate with without any ulterior motives

844
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 3: or like hidden agendas, I'm not gonna do it. So

845
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 3: that went on for a year, and it was just

846
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 3: like one of those happened. Like I was looking at

847
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 3: the calendar, I was like, oh shit, it's been a

848
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 3: year since I've had sex, and so I decided to

849
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 3: write about it, and then I pitched it to Cosmo,

850
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 3: and Cosmo published the personal essay and then it blew

851
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,240
Speaker 3: the fuck up. Like I wasn't expecting that at all,

852
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 3: but I was, Oh my god, my phone was like

853
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: on fire.

854
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,360
Speaker 5: But it was great stuff.

855
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,919
Speaker 3: Like so many people were like I do this too,

856
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 3: or I've been needing to do this, thank you for

857
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 3: talking about it, all this stuff, and I was like, damn.

858
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 5: That's dope.

859
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 3: Like what when you realize one decision has such a

860
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:19,880
Speaker 3: bigger purpose in what you can see? And it kept

861
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 3: going like after that, I still wasn't having sex, so

862
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, making friends with my toys,

863
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 3: making friends with myself, you know, like giving myself that

864
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 3: type of self love.

865
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 5: And then when I started writing the.

866
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 3: Book, I realized that I had gone through sexual trauma

867
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 3: that i'd kind of repressed or like just didn't even acknowledge.

868
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:49,359
Speaker 3: So then it was like, oh, I've been raped or

869
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:53,800
Speaker 3: oh I've been sexually harassed a lot in my life,

870
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 3: and that's also played a role into the sense of

871
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 3: the whole Oh I do it so you see value

872
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 3: in me was very like subconsciously thinking, Okay, well I

873
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 3: owe this to you, or this is what my body

874
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,440
Speaker 3: is for to you, or you know, all this stuff,

875
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 3: which I was like, bitch no. So so it took

876
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 3: a lot of like time clearly and just kind of

877
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 3: figuring out, redefining what sex means for me, getting back

878
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 3: in touch with my body, building that confidence, and also

879
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 3: processing the trauma that I didn't deal with for so

880
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 3: long because I didn't even know it existed. So once

881
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 3: you kind of realize like, oh, I've gone through this,

882
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, the floodgates open. You're like, fuck,

883
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,839
Speaker 3: now I got to like process this and see how

884
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 3: it's played out in my life. But once you know,

885
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,240
Speaker 3: you get to the other side it's just such a

886
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 3: better experience. And so I went, you know, nearly three

887
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,880
Speaker 3: years and then I decided to have sex with a

888
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 3: guy that is one a really good friend of mine.

889
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 3: We were talking but it was kind of like, we

890
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 3: don't know if this is going to be a relationship

891
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 3: or not, but I trust you and that at the

892
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 3: end of the day, that's that was it for me.

893
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 3: I was like, I trust you with every fiber of

894
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 3: my being. I know you would treat my body with respect,

895
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 3: so by choosing to do this with you, I'm treating

896
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 3: myself with respect too.

897
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:23,879
Speaker 5: And so we had sex. It was bomb and yeah,

898
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:24,800
Speaker 5: thank you God.

899
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 3: But but the pressure is real, Like we were talking

900
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:32,840
Speaker 3: about this earlier before we started the show, like I realized.

901
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 5: The longer I went, the more pressure. I was like, Fuck,

902
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 5: who's it gonna be? And people kept asking me too,

903
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 5: like are you still not having sex?

904
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: Who's going to be? So I know I'm still like

905
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: I'm a checking with your mil and it's like, so, yeah,

906
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: I still.

907
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 5: How long has it been?

908
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: Like almost four months?

909
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 3: Okay, this is still a very difficult stage because it's like, yeah,

910
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 3: actually I agree, it is, yeah, well, because you still

911
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 3: remember what sex feels like at some point you'll forget.

912
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 5: At some point you're like, wait, how do I do this? No, No, I.

913
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: Don't think that's possible for Jamaila.

914
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:14,760
Speaker 5: We'll see.

915
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 3: No. But once I, once I did it, it almost

916
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 3: felt so freeing in the sense of like, now that

917
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: that's been handled, I feel okay now to just kind

918
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 3: of if I want to have sex with the guy,

919
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 3: I'll do it, and I'll do it because I want to,

920
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 3: you know, not because I want you to like me

921
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 3: or I feel like, oh, well, you bought me dinner

922
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 3: and drinks and did this, so now I got sleep, right.

923
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:49,959
Speaker 1: Whatever. I just he did go to that nice stay.

924
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 3: I mean he paid for appetizer, dinner and dessert and

925
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:59,240
Speaker 3: a cocktail. I guess I can and he just will.

926
00:45:59,160 --> 00:45:59,879
Speaker 1: Let up, so.

927
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 5: Right. So yeah, now I'm just out here like, oh,

928
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 5: how do I feel?

929
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,320
Speaker 3: But it's funny because people assume that once you have sex,

930
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:11,359
Speaker 3: you're just like fucking all the time.

931
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

932
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 1: If anything, the whole point is now that you have

933
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: had now.

934
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,719
Speaker 5: That you it's intentional, conscious decision, you still feel.

935
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: Like you're living that life, Like do you feel like

936
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 1: you're still living consciously sexually? It's something you probably still

937
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 1: have to work at sustaining. It's not like, right, it's

938
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: easy to go back to.

939
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 5: Your habits, absolutely, and there's definitely fear of that too.

940
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 1: You've lived so long doing that, right, It's almost like second.

941
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,319
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm much more intentional and conscious. It's

942
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 3: quite honestly, there just haven't been any men in my

943
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,399
Speaker 3: life that I'm like, oh, I.

944
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 5: Need to get that.

945
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: You know.

946
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 3: It's just very like lukewarm. So I'm like, okay, well

947
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 3: I don't need to make that a thing.

948
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: Well, when was the last time you had sex?

949
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:55,399
Speaker 5: It was November, so like a bit.

950
00:46:56,719 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 3: But things can change very quickly. I was watching my

951
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 3: reading for April and it was I follow The Quietest

952
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 3: Revolution on YouTube.

953
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 5: Shout out to Amber.

954
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 3: She's amazing, so she just tear at readings for every

955
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 3: sign every month, The Quietest Revolution.

956
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 5: Yeah.

957
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 3: So I watched mine yesterday for Capricorn and she's like, oh,

958
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 3: your sex life is gonna pick up. I was like, yeah,

959
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 3: damn right, because I'm ready and I'm just like in

960
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 3: a place now where I definitely want to find my partner.

961
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 3: I've been single for like eight years, so I'm ready

962
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 3: for like that partnership. But I'm also in a place

963
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 3: now where whatever comes to me, whatever's happening, I embrace it.

964
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 3: I'll do what I want to do with it and

965
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 3: not think too much about like, well, what does this mean?

966
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 5: What's it gonna what is it? What is it gonna mean?

967
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 3: Right, just fucking live live your life. It's taken a

968
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 3: long time to realize that, right, deep size, deep size.

969
00:47:56,200 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 1: Now, no matter how old you are, Like, I sometimes

970
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 1: find myself acting like it's like a little teenager.

971
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 5: What is time really? You know, like what is age?

972
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,239
Speaker 5: It's yeah, I tell you out. I just live it

973
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 5: and let it be right.

974
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: I just hate how we make men the center of

975
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 1: our right, like it can ruin our whole day, you

976
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: know what I mean. If work is bad, but it

977
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 1: might not ruin our whole day, but if a relationship

978
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 1: is bad, day is ruined. And that's just like it's

979
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: just like I don't know, I just feel like it's

980
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: so unfair to who we are. It's programmed because we

981
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: are so powerful. That's the way we've been pro like,

982
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: that's our that's our weak spot and it's a big one.

983
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 5: Love, you know, but it doesn't have to be weak,

984
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,320
Speaker 5: it doesn't Well.

985
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 1: No, love is not weak. I just mean that, like

986
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: the programming we have around.

987
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 5: Love, you know, well, that's not in power.

988
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,359
Speaker 1: It's not it's not empowered, you know what I mean.

989
00:48:56,440 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: It just feels like like I don't know, like possession

990
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: and not possession.

991
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 5: That's part of it. Though.

992
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 3: Well we've been fed this idea that possessive love is

993
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 3: what you want, or like if a guy isn't possessive,

994
00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 3: yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Well I feel like relationships, to

995
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:21,840
Speaker 3: whatever capacity, are how you learn about yourself. So the

996
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 3: problem with dating was born not because of just like,

997
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 3: oh listen to my dating stories, but because that fascination

998
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 3: of relationships and whatever. I realize we switch because we

999
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:36,839
Speaker 3: become triggered, and then we show parts of ourselves that we.

1000
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 5: Didn't have to. They didn't come up because no one

1001
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 5: was in the picture, you know.

1002
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 3: So really it's the problem with me, you know, like

1003
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:48,359
Speaker 3: what am I not facing about myself? And so when

1004
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,399
Speaker 3: it comes to those relationships and someone comes into your

1005
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 3: life and then all of a sudden, these things start

1006
00:49:53,239 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 3: popping up. They're unhealed things that you didn't have to

1007
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 3: face or deal with because you were chilling by yourself.

1008
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 3: And now someone came into trigger and that's when the

1009
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:04,279
Speaker 3: healing begins. So it's like, that's why I feel like

1010
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 3: love is so elusive and powerful, but also people can

1011
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 3: be like fuck love, I hate it.

1012
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 5: It's because it.

1013
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 3: Comes in a form that sometimes you're not familiar with,

1014
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 3: and then it forces you to see things that you're

1015
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 3: not ready to see about yourself. Because that then, once

1016
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 3: you realize it and you acknowledge it, you can't just

1017
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 3: go back and be like, I mean some people do.

1018
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 5: That's just the way I am.

1019
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:26,240
Speaker 1: And it's like people.

1020
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 5: Right, actually, yeah, but.

1021
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 1: That makes so much sense. It makes complete sense. If

1022
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 1: you're not in a space where you have to deal

1023
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: with another like a part of you dealing with someone else,

1024
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 1: then how do you deal with it until it comes up?

1025
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 3: Right?

1026
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1027
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 5: Thinks everyone is a teacher and a mirror.

1028
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I always say that children are mirrors.

1029
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 1: You know, areous, so are you know? Just life in general?

1030
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 3: Children are the answer. Honestly, like children and really old people,

1031
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 3: they get it, but somewhere in the middle we just

1032
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:03,439
Speaker 3: lose of everything. So it's always like when you're young

1033
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 3: and you haven't been programmed yet or you haven't really

1034
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 3: bought into the whole facade of all this and then

1035
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 3: when you're old and you realize, damn, I spent a

1036
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 3: lot of time worrying about shit that doesn't even matter.

1037
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 3: So let us just try to get to that before that,

1038
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:19,799
Speaker 3: you know.

1039
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 1: For sure? Mm hmmm, Like over here, like thinking deepently,

1040
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,439
Speaker 1: what have I not dealt with? I'm like, for real,

1041
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 1: that's true, that's true.

1042
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,640
Speaker 5: Do we need to meditate and center ourselves after that?

1043
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:36,919
Speaker 1: I'm like, who says three deep breaths?

1044
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 5: I went to my first Kundalini class yesterday.

1045
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:43,320
Speaker 1: What's that?

1046
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:44,360
Speaker 5: Undini?

1047
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: It was, it's just a whole breathing exercise.

1048
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 3: Well, you incorporate different breathing exercises with like some very

1049
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:53,720
Speaker 3: basic moves.

1050
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 5: But I was like, you, it gives you like a

1051
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 5: little high.

1052
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 1: Because the air and like the breathing in oxygen into

1053
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 1: your brain accesses different parts of your brain. So when

1054
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 1: you're doing those different moves, like it triggers things too.

1055
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 1: I used to do it a lot, but then I

1056
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 1: got then I was then I got into like workout yoga,

1057
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:18,760
Speaker 1: like I needed more like something yeah hardcore.

1058
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying to find the balance, and like all

1059
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 3: that stuff.

1060
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 1: Just made it light.

1061
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 5: I did yeah.

1062
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 3: We were like dancing around the room doing all these

1063
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 3: crazy moves with your freaking, like really aggressive breathing, and.

1064
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 1: Then I just.

1065
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, literally, it's very like a tribal in a way.

1066
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 1: The sound is also meditative as well, right, you know,

1067
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 1: of people I was about it though, I was like, yes, yes, yeah,

1068
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 1: I loved it.

1069
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. I just started doing that and belly dancing and

1070
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,839
Speaker 3: boxing because I was like, I need it.

1071
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:08,800
Speaker 5: I'm so work focused.

1072
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 3: I needed to like do things that kind of got

1073
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 3: me out of my bubble. And so I felt like

1074
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 3: that was a good balance of like, yes.

1075
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: I want to I want to do belly dancing.

1076
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,800
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I love it.

1077
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good, is it? At?

1078
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,320
Speaker 5: It's a good hips abs arms.

1079
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:35,000
Speaker 3: I didn't realize like when I'm moving my hips, I

1080
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,840
Speaker 3: lose all focus of arms.

1081
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 5: So I'm like, I don't know.

1082
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 3: And then you're like, oh, I got to hold it

1083
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 3: up here the whole time and like do things and

1084
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 3: then you're just like chilling.

1085
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 5: I'm like, I can't do both.

1086
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 3: But right can't. But yeah, it's a great workout. And

1087
00:53:57,120 --> 00:54:00,439
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously it's my culture and so I really

1088
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 3: wanted to get back in touch with that and so

1089
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 3: I love it, man.

1090
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:06,399
Speaker 1: And when I went to Dubai, we saw a belly

1091
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 1: dancing show and it was so amazing mm hmm. She

1092
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 1: was doing like the way she can move her body

1093
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,439
Speaker 1: and she's balancing like swords on her hips and shit

1094
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:18,280
Speaker 1: oh shit, and doing like all these amazing dances.

1095
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 4: Wow.

1096
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:20,359
Speaker 5: You know why too.

1097
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 3: I feel belly dancing and also like pole dancing are

1098
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 3: the epitome of what it's like to be a woman

1099
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 3: because there's a lot of strength that goes into it,

1100
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 3: but there's also a lot of grace, and that's I

1101
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,320
Speaker 3: think where we meet is we find the balance between

1102
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 3: the two at all times. And so every time you

1103
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 3: watch it, it's almost like womanhood illustrated, like in a

1104
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 3: nice artistic way.

1105
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 1: No. I think stripping is so beautiful.

1106
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 5: I love I watched, I could watch forever, but then

1107
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 5: I want to be like, so, how wow did you

1108
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 5: do that?

1109
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,840
Speaker 1: Like, because you know, there's no difference except when do

1110
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 1: you take your clothes off if you're if you're an artist,

1111
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 1: like like, oh my god, that's something I would like

1112
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 1: to get.

1113
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:08,279
Speaker 3: I think it's very difficult. I took one class in

1114
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,839
Speaker 3: Vegas and I was like, all bruised up after like.

1115
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,840
Speaker 1: Olympics, if it can be if weird ass sports that

1116
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 1: no one plays, be any Olympics? Like, what's that one?

1117
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 1: Were they like? Because that is this? What is everyone doing?

1118
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 1: Why prove this?

1119
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 3: I love that That's the one I was thinking of?

1120
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 3: And that's the one you said, because I was like,

1121
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:30,520
Speaker 3: what the fuck is that?

1122
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 5: Called?

1123
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 1: Everyone knows it? Because one we're like, why is this

1124
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 1: the thing?

1125
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 5: The sound too on the table was so funny?

1126
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 1: Called this this is what she entered for. I would

1127
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 1: be embarrassed, Like.

1128
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 3: I'm the Olympics, right, or the one where they like

1129
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 3: do the cross country and then they have to like

1130
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 3: stop and like shoot at something and then they like

1131
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:54,760
Speaker 3: keep running and then they have to stop.

1132
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 5: And I was like, what.

1133
00:55:56,080 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 1: At least that's I don't understand. The other one I

1134
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 1: don't understand.

1135
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 5: It's like shuffle board for fanatics. That's hilarious.

1136
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 4: Oh oh, question wrote did you post to?

1137
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 5: I did pose? How that I posed? It was great?

1138
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:30,359
Speaker 3: I posed for the winter issue of this year and

1139
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 3: it was a spread called a New Wave and it

1140
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:37,759
Speaker 3: was their female writers. We all post together and it

1141
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 3: was basically talking about, you know, freedom of expression as

1142
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 3: a woman and also like my narrative that I really

1143
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 3: wanted to get out there is the breaking down the

1144
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 3: idea that a woman has to choose between being sexy

1145
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 3: or smart, because that's something that really annoys me. So

1146
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 3: when I got the call, which funny enough, and I

1147
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 3: mentioned it on my little AGTV show Morning Brew, I

1148
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,720
Speaker 3: had a premonition about it like a month before.

1149
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 5: So when I got the call, I was like, what

1150
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 5: the fuck.

1151
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 3: Is happening because in my mind, I was like, Oh,

1152
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 3: it'd be so dope to pose for Playboy and like

1153
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 3: they get all their female writers and maybe get together

1154
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 3: d And then I was like, why the fuck would

1155
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:21,360
Speaker 3: they do that, you know? And then I got the

1156
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 3: call and I was like, oh shit, so this is

1157
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,760
Speaker 3: the thing thing now. So we spent the whole day

1158
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 3: together posing completely nude. But like photographer was a woman.

1159
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 3: Creative directors a woman art director is a woman. Like

1160
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 3: the only men that were there were like lighting in

1161
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 3: the videographers. And I only say that to say that

1162
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 3: the feminine energy in that room that day was so

1163
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 3: powerful and inspiring and it was just a great experience.

1164
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 5: And then after.

1165
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 3: The shoot you realize, oh fuck, I just post naked

1166
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 3: right like that delayed reaction, and so I was like,

1167
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: oh my god, Like I felt great. I'm proud of

1168
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 3: my body. I'm proud of the message that comes with

1169
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 3: it about like, you know, we're multifaceted individuals. Women can

1170
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 3: be so many things at once and one doesn't, you know,

1171
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 3: take away from the other. But I'm also like, they're

1172
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 3: gonna be strangers looking at my tits and like all

1173
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 3: kinds of things, and also my parents. I didn't tell

1174
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 3: anyone about the shoot until after. My mom text me

1175
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 3: while I was there actually and she's like, Hi, what

1176
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 3: are you doing. I was like, it's like, I'm actually

1177
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:44,000
Speaker 3: shooting for Playboy. She sent me a gift that was

1178
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 3: like shocked, and I was like gotta go. But my

1179
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,560
Speaker 3: Mom's like I get this side of myself from her. So,

1180
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 3: like she was a model and actress in Lebanon, and

1181
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 3: she was always very like open and like she had

1182
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 3: that big dick energy forever. So she was more so

1183
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,640
Speaker 3: you know, as a parent, being like okay, so what kind.

1184
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 5: Of shots did you do? Like how do you feel?

1185
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 3: And then at the end of it, she was just like,

1186
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm sure they're beautiful and if you

1187
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 3: feel good about it. I'm here to support you, and

1188
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 3: I think this is an amazing thing that you're doing.

1189
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 1: What a gift.

1190
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 5: Right, Okay, cancer getting together?

1191
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,920
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she's gonna cry.

1192
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 3: Well, we could talk about my dad's reaction if that

1193
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:32,919
Speaker 3: helps you, like knock get him. He was not a fan,

1194
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 3: but it's like you would expect that from a father, right,

1195
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 3: So my dad.

1196
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 1: Actually it's so finance. It's the opposite for me.

1197
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 5: Oh really, my dad.

1198
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 3: Well, my dad and I and there's a chapter about

1199
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 3: my dad in the book too. We've had a very

1200
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 3: tumultuous relationship. So it kind of sucks because right when

1201
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 3: I think we're getting to better ground, something will like

1202
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 3: blow it up, in this case me letting him know

1203
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 3: I oppose naked for a magaz So it was one

1204
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,320
Speaker 3: of those things where like I so did not want

1205
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:07,520
Speaker 3: to tell him, but and he lives in Lebanon, so

1206
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 3: I was like, I mean, maybe I.

1207
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 5: Don't have to tell him, you know.

1208
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 3: But but my cousins follow me on Instagram like once

1209
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 3: they saw the post. I'm sure the first because they

1210
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 3: did that with my Cosmo article. I'm like, did you

1211
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 3: know Bruno Erta And he was like hmm, So I

1212
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 3: was like, let it come from me and let me

1213
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:25,840
Speaker 3: just rip the band aid off.

1214
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 5: And so I told him.

1215
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 3: I was like, dah, there's something I need to tell you,

1216
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 3: but I'm really scared to tell you, right. I was like,

1217
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:37,840
Speaker 3: let me just get his like so he knows, and

1218
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 3: he was like, tell me, and I was like, so

1219
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 3: I posed with five other female journalists for Playboy and

1220
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 3: then he's like, what did you say?

1221
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 5: He's like, what did your mom think? And I was like,

1222
01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 5: she was supportive. He was like, so you were like.

1223
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 3: And then you could tell that the progression of like

1224
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:04,280
Speaker 3: the thoughts in his mind releading the conversation.

1225
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, because at first he was like, it's your body,

1226
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:08,880
Speaker 5: like you do what you want.

1227
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,360
Speaker 3: Like he obviously wasn't a fan, but he was kind

1228
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,440
Speaker 3: of like because he was like, you already did it.

1229
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:15,440
Speaker 3: It's not like you're asking for my permission. I was like, well,

1230
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 3: because it's my decision. And so there was a bit

1231
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 3: of that, and then I don't know, he got a

1232
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:24,560
Speaker 3: second wind of anger or something and he was like,

1233
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:28,680
Speaker 3: I just don't know why You're like, you're a capable

1234
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:31,200
Speaker 3: and smart person. I don't know why you feel you

1235
01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 3: need to do this. And I was like, that statement

1236
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:37,000
Speaker 3: is exactly why I did this, because the second a

1237
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:40,960
Speaker 3: woman flaunts her body or appreciates her body or shows

1238
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 3: her body off in a way that's not considered quote modest,

1239
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 3: she's automatically thrown into this bucket of oh, well, that's

1240
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 3: all she has and that's all she has going for

1241
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 3: her and everything else doesn't matter.

1242
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 5: That's not that's not real.

1243
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: Right.

1244
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 3: So it was like, let me fuck up your mind

1245
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,680
Speaker 3: real fast so that you can see a woman proudly

1246
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 3: being sexy and sensual and then realize, oh, she's also

1247
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 3: intelligent and caring and understanding and just smart and everything,

1248
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 3: and being like, oh, so all the limitations are on me.

1249
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 5: You did that.

1250
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:16,440
Speaker 3: I don't have to succumb to that just because you

1251
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:18,200
Speaker 3: feel like a woman has to choose.

1252
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:21,439
Speaker 5: So I'm all about that for real.

1253
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's exactly what it is.

1254
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, so.

1255
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 1: Do you think your parents fire your.

1256
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 3: My mom absolutely. She went with me to buy like

1257
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 3: a bunch of copies and then she.

1258
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,520
Speaker 5: Was like, bruen, I come here, let's take a picture.

1259
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 3: And then we like posed with the magazine just to

1260
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,960
Speaker 3: but she was like, yeah, it looks great, my dad,

1261
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 3: I don't I hope he didn't see it.

1262
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:50,440
Speaker 5: I don't think.

1263
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 3: I don't even know how he would unless he bought

1264
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:56,560
Speaker 3: it online like a digital copy. But it was interesting

1265
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 3: like after I finally announced it, because we did the

1266
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 3: shoot in October and we didn't announce it until March,

1267
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 3: and so then I got all these messages and like

1268
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,760
Speaker 3: definitely got some gross ass DMS, and I was just like,

1269
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 3: hmm no. They're like I want to fuck you, and

1270
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, I bet you do.

1271
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 5: That's not gonna.

1272
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 3: Happen though, or like someone's like, I really want to

1273
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:21,440
Speaker 3: be a porn director, please help me, and I'm like,

1274
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 3: help you right, Like because I showed my body, You're

1275
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 3: assuming I'm in this sex industry now and I'm a

1276
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 3: porn star, and so you want me to help you.

1277
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 5: I'm not going to even if I was.

1278
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 3: So then I would get messages from guys who were

1279
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 3: like acquaintances and they'd.

1280
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:42,640
Speaker 5: Be like, yeah, so my friend had your magazine like

1281
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 5: in his bathrooms. We were like all noticing the pictures

1282
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:47,520
Speaker 5: and looking at this spread and it's like, well, duh,

1283
01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:49,800
Speaker 5: they're going like you did it in a magazine. People

1284
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 5: are gonna like look at it.

1285
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,520
Speaker 3: But it's it was still kind of weird to be like, Okay,

1286
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:55,200
Speaker 3: so now all I see in my mind is a

1287
01:03:55,240 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 3: group of strangers just like huddled around this magazine, right

1288
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:02,280
Speaker 3: right right.

1289
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 5: I mean the shots were pretty tasteful.

1290
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:08,440
Speaker 3: Like all you really see is one of my boobs

1291
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 3: and my butt, which I'm like, you're welcome.

1292
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 5: They're great. So so it's fine.

1293
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 3: And that's the thing I always think about too, like,

1294
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:21,919
Speaker 3: regardless of whatever judgment I may get or the fear

1295
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 3: that I had when I had to make the decision,

1296
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,400
Speaker 3: it will pass and there will come a day when

1297
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 3: I can look back and be like I fucking post

1298
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 3: for Playboy and look at my titties before they sag, Like,

1299
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 3: look at how good I looked.

1300
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 5: So I was just like, I'm not about to.

1301
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 3: Let people and they're like limited beliefs on who I'm

1302
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:42,320
Speaker 3: supposed to be affect what I do with my life.

1303
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:46,560
Speaker 4: I feel like it's like on most women's like you.

1304
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 5: Know, because it's empowering. It's empowered for me.

1305
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:52,840
Speaker 1: It was early like that would.

1306
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:57,920
Speaker 5: Be nice, you know, like cool, I mean, it could happen.

1307
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 1: It's very magazine. If you're gonna do it.

1308
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:03,400
Speaker 5: Top not, it's one of the better ones.

1309
01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 1: Yes, my dad is a playgirl? Was he who watches

1310
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,120
Speaker 1: who actually bought Playgirl? Though?

1311
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:14,680
Speaker 3: Like who knows women really bought the housewives at home?

1312
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:19,280
Speaker 1: Like like full fully dude, No, no, no, no, he

1313
01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:21,760
Speaker 1: always had he had like my dad had like a

1314
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 1: subscription to Playboys. So he had so many Playboy magazines

1315
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 1: growing up, and he had them all hidden in this

1316
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:29,560
Speaker 1: one area of his house and I would always go

1317
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:31,479
Speaker 1: in there, like whenever he would go to sleep. Because

1318
01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 1: I was a little horny, little scorpio that very young age,

1319
01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:38,479
Speaker 1: I started like looking at porn a very young age.

1320
01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 1: I did because of my just because I was like

1321
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 1: but I remember looking at Playboy magazine and thinking, oh

1322
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 1: my god, these women are so beautiful, like oh my god,

1323
01:05:50,720 --> 01:05:52,840
Speaker 1: and I wanted to be in it too. I did,

1324
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, thinking like well, maybe not naked,

1325
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 1: but like somehow could I be in it? No naked?

1326
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,840
Speaker 1: But that's amazing. I mean I love that you, that

1327
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,600
Speaker 1: you that you can be so free and so liberated

1328
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 1: in that way, and like, have you've been able to

1329
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,560
Speaker 1: release that? Because I think that's the I think that's

1330
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:14,360
Speaker 1: I mean, once you, once you do, like it's you

1331
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,600
Speaker 1: can live your life in complete freedom I think I'm

1332
01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:19,280
Speaker 1: definitely not there all the way at all, but I

1333
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 1: that's like my goal, Like I want to be there

1334
01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 1: and like consciously do that, because.

1335
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:25,560
Speaker 5: What's stopping you.

1336
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:31,280
Speaker 1: Myself? You know different things. I think like over I'm

1337
01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:37,120
Speaker 1: an overthinker. I think I'm still like easily distracted by men.

1338
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:39,760
Speaker 1: I think.

1339
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1340
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 1: I think those two things are probably like the biggest

1341
01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:48,240
Speaker 1: things in my life that I'm like trying to consciously

1342
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 1: work towards and trying to check myself. That's why I

1343
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: told you. Tomla was like, don't let me talk about

1344
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:55,080
Speaker 1: this relationship anymore, because I need to talk. I need

1345
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 1: to talk to myself about it and like figure out

1346
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,960
Speaker 1: if I'm if I want to continue it or like

1347
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 1: okay with where it's at, or you know what I mean.

1348
01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:07,240
Speaker 1: And talking about it out loud to friends constantly isn't pealing.

1349
01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:10,760
Speaker 1: It's just what was that quote? I saw this quote?

1350
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:14,240
Speaker 1: It was like, be conscious of how much you'd love

1351
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:17,480
Speaker 1: to discuss like your misery, m and what and what

1352
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:21,720
Speaker 1: joy it brings you to discuss it. Yeah, because so

1353
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:24,600
Speaker 1: many people that's what we do, especially women. We talk

1354
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:28,600
Speaker 1: about something that's making us unhappy constantly, right, or question

1355
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:30,600
Speaker 1: ourselves constantly, you know.

1356
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:31,760
Speaker 5: It's true.

1357
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:35,080
Speaker 3: One thing to like seek guidance or just even that

1358
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:38,800
Speaker 3: camaraderie with your girls when you like just vent, and

1359
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 3: it's another thing to notice that, like, oh, I keep

1360
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 3: talking about this person or this situation just so I

1361
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:47,440
Speaker 3: still feel like it's a part of my life, right,

1362
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:50,560
Speaker 3: so that I have that to hold on to instead

1363
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:51,400
Speaker 3: of just letting it go.

1364
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:53,000
Speaker 5: Because once you let it go.

1365
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,480
Speaker 3: Then all of a sudden, you're like it's the detachment

1366
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:59,800
Speaker 3: that you're like afraid of usually, so sometimes talking about

1367
01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:03,720
Speaker 3: it makes it still like alive and kicking in your mind,

1368
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 3: so you still have that to think about and hold

1369
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:09,200
Speaker 3: on to. I don't know, it's crazy. We're so complex

1370
01:08:09,560 --> 01:08:10,360
Speaker 3: that it's just like.

1371
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:13,520
Speaker 5: That's tough.

1372
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 1: Mm, sure is. It's it's tough alone. So yeah, it's

1373
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:22,960
Speaker 1: another person in the next right, I gotta deal with

1374
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:24,560
Speaker 1: me and you and I don't even know how to

1375
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: deal with me all the way.

1376
01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:30,080
Speaker 5: So and that's why I l L see you deal.

1377
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:34,160
Speaker 3: With yourself first, yeah, which never ends honestly.

1378
01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:36,120
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because you think you've dealt with yourself and

1379
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:37,680
Speaker 1: then you get in a relationship, like you said, and

1380
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:40,240
Speaker 1: you're encountered with things that you never had to deal

1381
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:40,839
Speaker 1: with yet.

1382
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 3: Mm about yourself, right, you know, But then you hope

1383
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 3: that at least the work you've done before that those

1384
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:52,080
Speaker 3: things right in a healthy way. And also that because

1385
01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:54,479
Speaker 3: you did that work, you attracted a partner who's willing

1386
01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:57,160
Speaker 3: to help you through it too, so it's not you

1387
01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,320
Speaker 3: all by yourself all the time. Like that was the

1388
01:08:59,360 --> 01:09:01,679
Speaker 3: mentality I've forever where it's like, oh.

1389
01:09:01,479 --> 01:09:03,080
Speaker 5: It's only me. I do everything I've to.

1390
01:09:03,439 --> 01:09:06,840
Speaker 3: Like, even when I think of having a family, when

1391
01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:09,320
Speaker 3: I think of like logistics and stuff, I always think

1392
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:12,759
Speaker 3: of it from a perspective of doing it by myself.

1393
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,160
Speaker 3: And then every time I talk about it with people,

1394
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:19,400
Speaker 3: they're like, well, you know, hopefully you have the father

1395
01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:25,240
Speaker 3: around to like help, and I'm like, oh, yeah, the

1396
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 3: other person. But I think that just comes from so

1397
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:33,200
Speaker 3: many years of like I'm an only child, I spend

1398
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:35,920
Speaker 3: a lot of time alone. I'm very I can be

1399
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:40,679
Speaker 3: an introvert a lot. So it's just like I've led

1400
01:09:40,720 --> 01:09:43,679
Speaker 3: my life on my own, Like most of the projects

1401
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:47,000
Speaker 3: and things I do on my own. So it's interesting

1402
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:50,519
Speaker 3: to then think about, like, oh I might collab with

1403
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,840
Speaker 3: someone on like that cool.

1404
01:09:53,479 --> 01:09:55,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'll see right.

1405
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:00,360
Speaker 1: I think there's a high speech che happening.

1406
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:01,439
Speaker 5: There's something happening.

1407
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:03,240
Speaker 1: Are they hovering over?

1408
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:05,559
Speaker 5: Even when I was driving over here, there was a

1409
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:07,040
Speaker 5: police helicopter just circle.

1410
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:11,120
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe there's Yeah, sometimes I hear those. Sometimes I'm

1411
01:10:11,120 --> 01:10:14,240
Speaker 1: always like, what if someone jumped over the backyard trying

1412
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:15,920
Speaker 1: to break into my house? I always get so much.

1413
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:20,880
Speaker 1: LA is the most helicopter looking place of all time.

1414
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:24,840
Speaker 1: I swear to God, I never anyone's neighborhood and there's

1415
01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:28,200
Speaker 1: always helicopters only in LA. Is that the Los Angeles thing?

1416
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:31,680
Speaker 1: Maybe just send the calpters out.

1417
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:32,559
Speaker 5: Where are you from?

1418
01:10:32,840 --> 01:10:36,160
Speaker 1: Call the cop here in the valet conter? I lived

1419
01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:38,000
Speaker 1: in Atlanta? Was it Philly?

1420
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:38,439
Speaker 5: My family?

1421
01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:41,879
Speaker 1: I don't remember this many cops. I mean, like helicopter chases.

1422
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:44,800
Speaker 1: It's like I feel growing up all the time in

1423
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:47,240
Speaker 1: the valley, like someone a bank and someone good. I

1424
01:10:47,240 --> 01:10:48,599
Speaker 1: think that's a common thing.

1425
01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:50,800
Speaker 5: That's the dramatics of LA.

1426
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:52,440
Speaker 1: It is, it's the dramatics.

1427
01:10:52,760 --> 01:10:53,839
Speaker 5: Get out the choppers.

1428
01:10:54,760 --> 01:11:01,479
Speaker 1: Call the copter. It is a copter. Actually it is

1429
01:11:01,520 --> 01:11:11,360
Speaker 1: a cop helicopter, helicopter. But now you just don't realize all.

1430
01:11:11,240 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 3: Of the revelations we're having today. We still have to

1431
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,719
Speaker 3: figure out what that Olympic sport is called. Like that's

1432
01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 3: gonna bother.

1433
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 1: I know that's the riddle.

1434
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,680
Speaker 5: This is the riddle of this episode.

1435
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:28,280
Speaker 3: First person to let us know. When's eternal gratitude and

1436
01:11:28,439 --> 01:11:29,000
Speaker 3: good vibes.

1437
01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:33,960
Speaker 1: Right, well, anyway, I am so glad.

1438
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:34,759
Speaker 5: That you came on today.

1439
01:11:34,960 --> 01:11:36,839
Speaker 1: Thank you much for sharing your knowledge.

1440
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:40,639
Speaker 5: Have to think about I have books for you guys

1441
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:43,400
Speaker 5: too in the car. Oh, thank you, thank you.

1442
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 1: But where can our followers find you? How can we?

1443
01:11:48,439 --> 01:11:48,599
Speaker 5: Oh?

1444
01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:54,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, so so many places. If you just want general

1445
01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:58,800
Speaker 3: information or information on coaching, go to my website www

1446
01:11:58,920 --> 01:12:00,200
Speaker 3: dot Bruna nessif.

1447
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:04,639
Speaker 5: Do that's b r U N A N E S

1448
01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:06,920
Speaker 5: S I f as in frank.

1449
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:10,080
Speaker 3: Or you can read about all of these stories I

1450
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:13,400
Speaker 3: mentioned on the Problem with Dating dot com and follow

1451
01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:17,920
Speaker 3: on Instagram at prop with Dating or my Instagram at

1452
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:21,760
Speaker 3: Bruna with five a's like my report card, or on

1453
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:25,880
Speaker 3: Twitter at Bruna nsif I think I covered it all

1454
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:29,000
Speaker 3: so many Google Plus or.

1455
01:12:30,479 --> 01:12:34,120
Speaker 1: Security is that's amazing.

1456
01:12:34,160 --> 01:12:36,920
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you guys. I had fun.

1457
01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:40,840
Speaker 1: All right, you guys, well, we will catch you next week.

1458
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:45,479
Speaker 1: If you are not subscribe to our website. Make sure

1459
01:12:45,479 --> 01:12:48,880
Speaker 1: you go on our website and subscribe. And if you

1460
01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:52,000
Speaker 1: guys have any core stories, we did do a horse story.

1461
01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:54,519
Speaker 5: Oh we can What time is it?

1462
01:12:55,479 --> 01:12:56,559
Speaker 1: How quick can you make it?

1463
01:12:57,240 --> 01:12:57,680
Speaker 5: I could do it?

1464
01:12:57,880 --> 01:12:59,759
Speaker 1: What time is it?

1465
01:13:02,560 --> 01:13:06,800
Speaker 3: Well? We were here for a long time, okay.

1466
01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:10,280
Speaker 5: Horror, horror Okay.

1467
01:13:10,360 --> 01:13:14,640
Speaker 3: So basically I was in Miami and feeling myself and

1468
01:13:14,720 --> 01:13:16,680
Speaker 3: I met this really hot guy while I at a

1469
01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:18,559
Speaker 3: club and I was like, I'm going to live my life,

1470
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:20,559
Speaker 3: and so we had.

1471
01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:24,960
Speaker 5: Sex on the beach. Which going to live my life? Yeah,

1472
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:26,280
Speaker 5: because I was like, this.

1473
01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:28,960
Speaker 3: Is supposed to be like a nice thing to do, right,

1474
01:13:29,000 --> 01:13:34,360
Speaker 3: This is sexy right, right, So we're like having sex

1475
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,439
Speaker 3: on the beach in Miami at night, and I was like,

1476
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:40,320
Speaker 3: oh yes, whatever. Then like the reality of the matter

1477
01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:43,559
Speaker 3: set in and it's like sand in my crotch, you know,

1478
01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:44,960
Speaker 3: And I was.

1479
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:45,559
Speaker 5: Just like.

1480
01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:50,800
Speaker 3: I quickly was like ooh, I don't like the feelings

1481
01:13:50,840 --> 01:13:53,400
Speaker 3: I have in my vagina right now at all.

1482
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:55,519
Speaker 1: So out like.

1483
01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:59,840
Speaker 5: It was a churo situation for sure. So then I

1484
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:00,719
Speaker 5: was just like.

1485
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:09,720
Speaker 8: True, So we had our sexual experience and then I

1486
01:14:10,080 --> 01:14:11,719
Speaker 8: my vagina hurt so bad.

1487
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:14,040
Speaker 3: I was like and it's not like we were on

1488
01:14:14,080 --> 01:14:16,760
Speaker 3: a towel, like obviously we were, you know, but it

1489
01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:19,680
Speaker 3: was like maybe the breeze or some or the I

1490
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:21,600
Speaker 3: don't know, but I was like, my vagina feels like

1491
01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:23,800
Speaker 3: it's broken right now, and like or like a ball

1492
01:14:23,880 --> 01:14:25,720
Speaker 3: of sand is just gonna like PLoP out.

1493
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:28,920
Speaker 5: So I went in the hot tub to try and fix.

1494
01:14:29,280 --> 01:14:34,800
Speaker 5: So I was like, oh, yeah, so let's just let's

1495
01:14:34,840 --> 01:14:37,200
Speaker 5: go on the hot tub. But really it was like

1496
01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:41,120
Speaker 5: just to try and rejuvenate my vagina.

1497
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:44,000
Speaker 3: And so I was sitting there in the hop water

1498
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:47,280
Speaker 3: like yes, like this is nice, this is good.

1499
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:49,120
Speaker 5: He didn't get in because.

1500
01:14:48,880 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 3: He, like, I don't know, he didn't want to, so

1501
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:53,360
Speaker 3: he just sat there with me. I was like, that's fine,

1502
01:14:53,360 --> 01:14:57,599
Speaker 3: you don't need to be in here. So I remember too,

1503
01:14:57,760 --> 01:14:59,559
Speaker 3: to make the story even more dramatic, he was getting

1504
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:02,600
Speaker 3: a lot of fun phone calls and I was like, okay,

1505
01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:05,720
Speaker 3: that's kind of strange, but whatever. He asks to be

1506
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:09,639
Speaker 3: my friend on Facebook the next day, which I was like, okay.

1507
01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:12,559
Speaker 3: I thought this was just like, you know, one of

1508
01:15:12,560 --> 01:15:15,559
Speaker 3: those travel experiences. You put that in your blog, so

1509
01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:17,800
Speaker 3: you know, you travel, you have sex with a stranger cool.

1510
01:15:18,479 --> 01:15:21,240
Speaker 5: So I was like, all right, look at his Facebook.

1511
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:22,200
Speaker 5: He has a girlfriend.

1512
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:26,840
Speaker 3: And I was like, of course you do, of course

1513
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:36,680
Speaker 3: you do, right right, Let that ship go available on

1514
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:38,479
Speaker 3: Amazon and paperback and kindle.

1515
01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:40,760
Speaker 5: But yeah, that's my.

1516
01:15:41,120 --> 01:15:48,360
Speaker 3: Horror, horror, horror. Oh yes, it's it's very good now.

1517
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:52,639
Speaker 5: Oh that it did. It helped, It definitely helps.

1518
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:55,000
Speaker 1: I thought I thought thought we were heading towards the

1519
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:55,880
Speaker 1: hospital or something.

1520
01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:58,920
Speaker 5: Oh no, no, no, no, no, that would have sucked.

1521
01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:05,280
Speaker 1: She cut it inside all the same the linings.

1522
01:16:05,560 --> 01:16:13,800
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, chou, that's hilarious. No, my vagina is

1523
01:16:14,080 --> 01:16:16,959
Speaker 3: very healthy and happy now and ready for visitors.

1524
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:22,400
Speaker 4: Okay, John for visitors.

1525
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:27,799
Speaker 1: Okay, why my guys, we will catch you next week. Bye.

1526
01:16:28,120 --> 01:16:30,839
Speaker 1: I'm not about you, not about the new mule Shoma Alma,

1527
01:16:31,280 --> 01:16:33,720
Speaker 1: not about the new mule show. Not about you, not

1528
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:34,720
Speaker 1: about that new mule show.

1529
01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:40,960
Speaker 2: Bass hook you chiking damn all fasta the kinge bass

1530
01:16:41,040 --> 01:16:45,840
Speaker 2: hook you jigging damn my fasta dam to.

1531
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:49,280
Speaker 1: Jube by her lasses.

1532
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:57,360
Speaker 2: To Jude g lasses sho bask you chaking damn all

1533
01:16:57,479 --> 01:17:01,760
Speaker 2: fasta the gee bashki shicking.

1534
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:08,040
Speaker 1: Them or bastard mm hmm