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Speaker 1: Marsie Borders, also known as the Dust Lady, became an

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Speaker 1: endurance symbol of resilience when photographed during the September eleventh,

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Speaker 1: two thousand and one attacks on the World Trade Center,

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Speaker 1: cover and dust as she fled the collapsing tower. Her

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Speaker 1: image captures the chaos and suffering.

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Speaker 2: Of that day.

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Speaker 1: While she survived the immediate horrors of nine to eleven,

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Speaker 1: Marsie Borders battle post traumatic stress disorder also known as PTSD,

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Speaker 1: and substance abuse in the years that followed. Sadly, she

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Speaker 1: passed away in twenty fifteen at the age of forty two.

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Speaker 3: From stomach cancer.

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Speaker 1: Today, we're honored to be joined by her daughter, who

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Speaker 1: would share her mother's story, offering insight into Marsie borders

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Speaker 1: endurance shrimp. So to my guests, thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for being a part of the show. How you feeling,

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Speaker 1: how you doing?

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Speaker 2: I'm excited, and thank you so much for being interested

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Speaker 2: in my family's story. I'm here.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I was telling my guests earlier that I was

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Speaker 1: trying to I wanted to showcase another story from nine

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Speaker 1: eleven because this year marks the twenty second anniversary, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I wanted to do it from a

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Speaker 1: different angle. And then I discover your mom's story and

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Speaker 1: I was just so taken back, and I'm just like wow,

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Speaker 1: because you don't really hear too many people of color,

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Speaker 1: especially women of color, sharing a story when it comes

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Speaker 1: to such traumatic events. So I really appreciate you taking

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Speaker 1: the time to talk about your mom. Miss Marcy Borders,

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Speaker 1: also known as the dust Lady.

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Speaker 3: Lady, Yeah, so.

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Speaker 1: Could you tell us more about your mother and her

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Speaker 1: personality because I feel like she was that mom aunt

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Speaker 1: big sliss that we all either have or no.

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Speaker 2: Yes, my mom is the She was the mom that

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Speaker 2: you wanted at the cookout, like right, she she was

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Speaker 2: the party. She had a big personality. I was more

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Speaker 2: so like super shy. I was like, all right, come on,

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Speaker 2: you do too much. But she was just loud. Like,

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Speaker 2: for instance, I'll give you an example my prom dress.

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Speaker 2: She took the extra fabric from my palm dress and

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Speaker 2: made a shirt out of it and came to my

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Speaker 2: red carpet with me with like a croissa everything. She

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Speaker 2: was so extra. I'm like, girls stopped. She was like, no, girl,

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Speaker 2: I didn't get to go to problem because I was

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Speaker 2: having you. So this is my prom too. I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, it was so embarrassing, but like that

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Speaker 2: was her. Now.

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Speaker 1: Your mom worked as a legal assistant at Bank of America,

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Speaker 1: located on the eighty first floor of the North Tower

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Speaker 1: in the World Trade Center. You were only eight years

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Speaker 1: old at that time, so could you share any memories

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Speaker 1: of what you remember from that day.

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Speaker 2: I honestly remember my mom just being excited. I remember

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Speaker 2: getting up that morning because she would drop me off

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Speaker 2: at my grandma's house, so my grandma so my aunt

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Speaker 2: would be able to bring me to school and my

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Speaker 2: mom would just head on to work. I do remember

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Speaker 2: that morning. She was just like, you know, excited. That

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Speaker 2: was her first payday. Actually, oh god, yeah, so she

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Speaker 2: was excited. It was her big job in the city.

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Speaker 2: And then I went to school, and then after that

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Speaker 2: it was just I remember being in the school yard

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Speaker 2: and they rushed us inside of the building. We were

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Speaker 2: playing at recess at some point or gym because it

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Speaker 2: was early in the morning, and I remember them saying like, oh,

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Speaker 2: a plane hit the twin towers. But I remember all

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Speaker 2: my teachers were whispering, and at the time I didn't

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Speaker 2: connect twin towers my mom's job. I was so young

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Speaker 2: but then I noticed that, like so many kids' parents

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Speaker 2: started to come in and get their kids, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: where's my mother, because you know, she would have been

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Speaker 2: the first person here to come and get me. And

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Speaker 2: I was literally the last kid and left inside the classroom.

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Speaker 2: And when my aunt came and got me, I remember

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Speaker 2: her pulling my third grade teacher, Miss Lucky. I could

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Speaker 2: never forget her name, into the hallway, and my teacher

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Speaker 2: came back inside the classroom and she was bawling crying

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Speaker 2: after my mom must have told her. And then when

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Speaker 2: I got home, I remember like my aunt and my

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Speaker 2: dad and they were all like acting weird around me.

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Speaker 2: I was just like, what's going on? Like nobody was

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Speaker 2: saying nothing to me. They wouldn't turn on the TV.

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Speaker 2: Once I got home, and then my grandmother, my mom's mom,

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Speaker 2: called the phone and I picked it up and she

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Speaker 2: was just like, is your mom okay? To just speak

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Speaker 2: to your mom? Like going crazy? And then I just

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Speaker 2: dropped the phone and started crying, Oh my god, because

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Speaker 2: I thought something happened to my mom.

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Speaker 1: Right, but you're not even realizing that she was inside

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Speaker 1: the building when everything took place.

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Speaker 2: YEP, I had no idea.

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Speaker 3: So when did y'all find out she was okay?

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Speaker 2: So basically I found out my mom was okay. It's

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Speaker 2: very weird. My mom picked up and called me from

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Speaker 2: a phone booth, and I feel like at this point

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Speaker 2: my dad had felt me on what was going on,

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Speaker 2: and I was able to watch TV, and for some reason,

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Speaker 2: I felt like I saw my mom on the phone

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Speaker 2: at the phone booth because she was talking to me,

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Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, the phone booth I heard,

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Speaker 2: like the phone drop, and she just and I thought

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Speaker 2: I saw her on TV just running like drop the phone,

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Speaker 2: because that was it, right, And then after that she

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Speaker 2: was transferred from New York to the hospital in Bayonne.

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Speaker 2: She didn't get home till like eleven o'clock at night

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Speaker 2: that night. Mm hm, So I actually didn't see her

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Speaker 2: until the next morning because.

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Speaker 3: I have one to bed and was she hurt or anything.

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Speaker 2: She wasn't heard. She was just completely covered in dust.

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Speaker 2: I actually still have the outfit. It was never washed.

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Speaker 2: I have the boots, I have everything. At my stepdad's happens,

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Speaker 2: we just keep it like the same way she left it.

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Speaker 2: It still has all the debris.

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Speaker 1: What are you plan on doing it like, would you

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Speaker 1: put it in a museum or something or.

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Speaker 2: I would definitely be open to putting it in the museum,

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Speaker 2: But they gotta pay me the coins, right, I'm on,

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Speaker 2: I need to get the coins. Like my mom always said,

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Speaker 2: whatever is, whatever she left here was for my brother

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Speaker 2: and I, So they have to like offer us something

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Speaker 2: that you know, I can put away from my brother

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Speaker 2: he's only fourteen, and for myself, like anybody, have anybody

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Speaker 2: made any offers?

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Speaker 1: No, I haven't interested because the last nine to eleven

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Speaker 1: Saviraan interviews, she still has all the first stuff too,

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, why don't I put this in the

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Speaker 1: museum and put it inside the memorial.

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Speaker 2: So I went to the museum for the first time,

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Speaker 2: uh maybe about two years ago, and I just noticed

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Speaker 2: that they had my mom's photo in there. But then

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Speaker 2: I also was reading articles that they was actually closing it.

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Speaker 2: So I wasn't sure if they still had it open

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Speaker 2: or was it being closed because they said there wasn't

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Speaker 2: getting a lot of visitors as they were in previous years,

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Speaker 2: so I'm not too sure. Yeah, well that's fucked up

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Speaker 2: right exactly, all this shit that done took place today,

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Speaker 2: I'll want to set it down.

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Speaker 1: And so many people lost their lives, like let's keep

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Speaker 1: let's keep the museum open so we can honor them.

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Speaker 2: Stay exactly.

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Speaker 3: So when she got home, do you remember what happened

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Speaker 3: that day or like, did she say anything?

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Speaker 2: It was a My mom was a nervous wreck. Early.

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Speaker 3: I can imagine she.

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Speaker 2: Went from being the loud, outgoing person, always wanting to

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Speaker 2: be on the scene, always around, to being inside of

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Speaker 2: the house. Literally we stayed inside the house. Like. She

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Speaker 2: did not go nowhere. She did not do big crowds.

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Speaker 2: I can remember being a kid for the first time.

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Speaker 2: I don't even remember what holiday was, but my town

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Speaker 2: was having a parade, right and I begged her, like, please,

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Speaker 2: let's go to the parade. We always did parades. I'm

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Speaker 2: a kid, I want to go to the parade. At

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Speaker 2: the parade, you know how when planes fly low and

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Speaker 2: you can hear that noise, like the noise that my

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Speaker 2: mom grabbed my hands, started going crazy, started running through

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Speaker 2: the crowd, like we literally looked fucking crazy. She had

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Speaker 2: my town, Yes, at my town freaking parade, and everybody

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Speaker 2: in Bayone knows my mom. My mom is like the

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Speaker 2: mayor of Bayone, so like.

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Speaker 3: I saw pictures of her funeral and I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 3: this low key like a celebrity passed away, Like.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it really. It was very weird, like when my

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Speaker 2: mom passed away. It was like people will be calling

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Speaker 2: my phone like hello, you're on DC's radio. We're just

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Speaker 2: called to see the dust confirmed the dust lady pass.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, this is very weird. Yeah, it was. It

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Speaker 2: was a lot.

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Speaker 1: I know she was lit because it was crazy.

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Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, she's sobered out a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Let's calm it down because this spotlight is too much

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Speaker 2: for me.

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Speaker 1: Right, So when did she realize that she was just

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Speaker 1: being triggered at the parade?

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Speaker 2: I guess because just the noise, it would be the noise,

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Speaker 2: it would be the loud crowds, it would just be

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Speaker 2: people cheering. It would just be people huddled in the group. Period.

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Speaker 1: No, but like that, No, But when did she realize

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Speaker 1: that it was nothing was going on, like she was

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Speaker 1: just triggered?

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Speaker 3: Like when did she come out?

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Speaker 2: By the time we was at our front on our stairs.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, yeah, she didn't stop. We didn't stop until.

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Speaker 3: We got home.

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Speaker 2: I was like I had to be about still about

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Speaker 2: nine eight nine at the time still oh wow, damn

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Speaker 2: so sad. Yeah, and it what took my family to Like, girl,

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Speaker 2: it was just a plane flying low. But it still

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Speaker 2: wasn't like she still was like in protective mole, like

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Speaker 2: I gotta get to safety, I gotta get home, I

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Speaker 2: gotta get behind closed doors, I gotta lock the door,

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Speaker 2: I gotta be safe. Like that was her mindset.

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Speaker 3: And she had you with her, so she was trying

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Speaker 3: to make sure she was safe as well.

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Speaker 2: That's because she was pulling me along, like come on now,

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Speaker 2: but back then I was a little chubby girl.

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Speaker 3: Come on, you bring your little ass on.

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Speaker 2: Yes, running as sweat and sweat and running okay, right right?

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Speaker 1: Do you think your family understood what was going on

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Speaker 1: with her at that time? Because I also feel like

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Speaker 1: back then, like mental health wasn't as trendy or as

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Speaker 1: popular or attractive as it is now compared to back then.

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Speaker 1: So do you think they was like you think they

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Speaker 1: was thinking she was a little bugged out or like

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Speaker 1: they understood.

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Speaker 2: I definitely I do think some people thought she was

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Speaker 2: a little bugged out. But then I also feel like

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Speaker 2: many people knew that she went through this traumatic experience,

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Speaker 2: so they didn't have the understanding like Okay, maybe something's

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Speaker 2: going on, but they knew something was wrong. And also

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Speaker 2: when my mom actually took the job, she never knew

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Speaker 2: that world tracing or was attacked before in nineteen ninety one,

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Speaker 2: I believe yeah, And she was like shit, had I

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Speaker 2: known that, I would have never taken this job because

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Speaker 2: she was very scary, Like she was like me, like

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Speaker 2: even though she was outbowe and stuff like that, she

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Speaker 2: didn't play with like she even said she left her

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Speaker 2: check in her pocketbook her first big pay, like she

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Speaker 2: was like, I'm out of here. Wow.

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Speaker 1: So how did she cop with a sudden fame that

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Speaker 1: came from being known as the dust Lady? Because I

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Speaker 1: feel like she became like the face of nine to eleven.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that actually really scared her. When she woke up

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Speaker 2: the next morning and her face was all over the newspapers,

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Speaker 2: she thought that she was in America's next target. Oh my,

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Speaker 2: because she thought that they knew her face. She thought

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Speaker 2: that they were going to be after her. She thought

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Speaker 2: that like, oh my god, my face is out in

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Speaker 2: the world. That made her stay inside longer. Honestly, it

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Speaker 2: wasn't until my mom went away to rehab and like

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Speaker 2: just was doing her things to get herself to wear

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Speaker 2: she needed to be. And while she was there, oh,

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Speaker 2: Sadam bin Laden was killed. Yeah, and that's what gave

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Speaker 2: her the great awaken and like I'm safe now it's done,

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Speaker 2: it's over.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I saw that.

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Speaker 1: You mentioned that in one of your interviews and I

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Speaker 1: was just like wow, Like that is very heartbreaking to

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Speaker 1: think that you are the face of a possible attack.

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Speaker 2: Like, and she was everywhere, yes, and she was going crazy,

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Speaker 2: like who gave them permission to take my photo? Like

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Speaker 2: she was really upset. It took a while for her

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Speaker 2: to like actually cope with being the dust lady. It

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Speaker 2: was even to the point where on our door, because

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Speaker 2: we lived in an apartment building, it was like Halloween,

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Speaker 2: you know, like that fog like the Halloween stuff. My

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Speaker 2: uncle was playing around with her and like took his

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Speaker 2: finger and wrote the dust lady on her door. Yes,

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Speaker 2: and he and he literally she started to go crazy,

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Speaker 2: like that was like a trigger for her.

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Speaker 3: Did she hain't any money for this photograph?

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Speaker 2: I don't think. I'm not too sure. Honestly, I can

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Speaker 2: say I don't think so, but I definitely know she

254
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Speaker 2: was paid when she was doing those interviews.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Wow, So when you saw the images of your mother

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Speaker 1: covering dust.

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Speaker 3: How did that make you feel?

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Speaker 2: I was embarrassed, really, yes, because I was a kid.

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Speaker 2: All the kids are bringing the magazine to school, like

261
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Speaker 2: look at your mom and the newspapers. Teachers wanted to know.

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Speaker 2: And I was always like very shy, and my mom

263
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Speaker 2: always had to break me out of my shell. And

264
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Speaker 2: I kind of was embarrassed because I'm like, everybody showed

265
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Speaker 2: me your picture, You're everywhere, so like, honestly, I just

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Speaker 2: wanted it to go away, to be honest.

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Speaker 3: Wow, So how do you feel about the picture now?

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Speaker 2: Now? I honestly feel like I got to sit into

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Speaker 2: like a few interviews with my mom as like a

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Speaker 2: teen and a young adult, and I just got her

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Speaker 2: to see, like, I am the dust Lady, but at

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Speaker 2: the end of the day, she was always going to

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Speaker 2: be my mom. And just hearing her story and how

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Speaker 2: proud she was of her story and everything that she

275
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Speaker 2: went through being the dust Lady and being a part

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Speaker 2: of the nine to eleven, it just makes me proud

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Speaker 2: to like continue continuing to want to like share her

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Speaker 2: story make sure it lives on, Like now I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: my mom is a dust lady, but she's my mom

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Speaker 2: and she's my hero. So I just flipped it that

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Speaker 2: way for me.

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Speaker 3: Right, did y'all like the name the dust Lady? Because

283
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Speaker 3: when I was like, why are they calling her the

284
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Speaker 3: dust lady?

285
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Speaker 2: Then when I saw the picture, yeah, no, but I

286
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Speaker 2: guess it kind of went with the picture because she

287
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,760
Speaker 2: was completely covered in the dust. But no, but I

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Speaker 2: guess now it's like the trademark, like the nine to eleven.

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Speaker 2: You just nine eleven, you connect with a dust lady

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Speaker 2: right right now?

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Speaker 1: The media attention and the iconic dust Lady photograph made

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Speaker 1: your mother a symbol of resilience. But how did this

293
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Speaker 1: affect her mental health?

294
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Speaker 2: So basically, for my mom, it was like it triggered her.

295
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Speaker 2: It sent her in a state of drinking alcohol war

296
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Speaker 2: at a point, she started to use drugs at a

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Speaker 2: point because like she was trying to cope with what

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Speaker 2: was going on. But I think people always say, like,

299
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Speaker 2: how didn't you know? Because to me, it don't matter

300
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Speaker 2: when I came around or whatever I was doing with

301
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Speaker 2: my mom. I never seen anything like she was always

302
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Speaker 2: the mom in front of me. I could never see

303
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Speaker 2: like Oh, something's going on, or oh she's doing something

304
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Speaker 2: that she's not supposed to be. Like when I tell

305
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 2: you my mom wore that mother keep very well, because

306
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,920
Speaker 2: when she came to me and my brother, I would

307
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,040
Speaker 2: have never knew unless I didn't hear the things people

308
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,120
Speaker 2: were saying around me. And honestly, I still couldn't even

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Speaker 2: believe it because I didn't see it myself.

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Speaker 3: What were they saying.

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Speaker 2: They were just saying, like you know, the town whisperers,

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Speaker 2: like oh she's drinking, or she's doing this, or she's

313
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,680
Speaker 2: getting high, or she's doing People will say little things

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Speaker 2: like that, but I could never, like honestly witness it myself.

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Speaker 1: Have she ever had is she with drugs before? Or

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Speaker 1: did she start doing this after the nine to eleven?

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Speaker 2: I would say after the nine to eleven wow. And honestly,

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Speaker 2: my mom has said, like many of interviews, like it

319
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,920
Speaker 2: was a point where she was like when my mess

320
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Speaker 2: started to spill into my children, that's when she was

321
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Speaker 2: just like no, I can't right, wow. And that's when

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Speaker 2: she went to rehab and just got herself together and

323
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Speaker 2: became but she needed to be coming for us and

324
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Speaker 2: continue living until unfortunately the cancer exactly.

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Speaker 3: And then she also developed PTSD.

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Speaker 2: Yes, she definitely did. It was that was a while,

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Speaker 2: But I think that her going away to rehab it

328
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 2: helped her deal with all of those questions, all those

329
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Speaker 2: feelings she had. And then I can honestly say, like

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Speaker 2: I remember the day that Osadim bin Laden was captured

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Speaker 2: and America killed him, it was just like a new

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Speaker 2: awakening for her. It was just like, I can live

333
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Speaker 2: my lafe again. I can't live my lafe again. I

334
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Speaker 2: can'll live my lafe again. La, I'm not the target.

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Speaker 2: He's gone. Like she was just so excited. Right.

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Speaker 1: Do you think because of all these that she was

337
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Speaker 1: going through where her mental health was one of the

338
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Speaker 1: reasons why she lost clustody of your brother.

339
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Speaker 2: Yes, I can say so. I definitely think that played

340
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,600
Speaker 2: a part in it because everything was going on and

341
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 2: I guess people were making phone calls and you know,

342
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 2: doing certain things, being sneaky, which in a way it

343
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 2: was a blessing, a blessing and a curse because like

344
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Speaker 2: my mom said, like you guys tried to take things

345
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Speaker 2: away from me, but at the same time, you allowed

346
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,520
Speaker 2: my mess to become mess for my kids, and it

347
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 2: caused me to clean myself up. Right. It definitely washed

348
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,200
Speaker 2: each other's like wash the other hand. Right.

349
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Speaker 1: Now, how did you and your family support your mother's

350
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Speaker 1: mental health and well being doing her journey of healing.

351
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Speaker 2: I guess we were just there. We were supportive. I

352
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:49,240
Speaker 2: never not ever looked at my mom as anything other

353
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Speaker 2: than being my hero. We did visits out there with

354
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Speaker 2: her for like family day.

355
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Speaker 3: How long was she going for.

356
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Speaker 2: I honestly can't even remember exactly. I don't think it

357
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 2: was like super long. Maybe about two to three months,

358
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 2: not too sure, but yeah, we definitely saw her, spoke

359
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,879
Speaker 2: to her, She even wrote letters. So it was just

360
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,560
Speaker 2: like I knew my mom was going away to make

361
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,639
Speaker 2: herself better. And I was actually at that time entering

362
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,679
Speaker 2: my freshman year of college when that was taking place.

363
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 3: So when did she first learn about her stomach cancer diagnosis.

364
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,040
Speaker 2: August of two thousand and fourteen, so it was just

365
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 2: like a year because she passed August twenty fifteen. And

366
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,560
Speaker 2: actually when she was going through the process, she kept

367
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 2: going to the doctors to get checked. She went to

368
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 2: plenty of doctors and they were like, oh, it's just

369
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 2: gas strited. She was told that until she actually found

370
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,040
Speaker 2: that specialists who saw that it was stubbic cancer.

371
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Speaker 3: And was she experienced like a lot of pain.

372
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,400
Speaker 2: Her stomach was hurting her. That's why she kept going

373
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Speaker 2: to the hospital. She was thinking like, oh, maybe it

374
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,720
Speaker 2: is true I have gas strit and she was trying

375
00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,320
Speaker 2: to eat different things until one doctor actually looked into

376
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 2: them was like, no, you have stage four stomach cancer. Wow. Yeah?

377
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,160
Speaker 1: And how old were you when she started to when

378
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,359
Speaker 1: she shared dinosis with.

379
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 2: You, I was twenty one, twenty one.

380
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 3: Did you like, did you know how severe it was

381
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,399
Speaker 3: or did she keep that from you?

382
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 2: So cancer has like I have been previewed to cancer.

383
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:27,240
Speaker 2: My dad's father had a cancer, so I kind of

384
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 2: was like my grandfather. They called him a walking miracle.

385
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, Well she never shared what

386
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,640
Speaker 2: stage she was at, so I always knew my mom

387
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,240
Speaker 2: had cancer. I was there along the way. She would

388
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,320
Speaker 2: never tell me like basically there was nothing that they

389
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 2: could do left because she knew like I just couldn't

390
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 2: handle that as her kid. Right.

391
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 1: Well, I was reading something else and I guess what

392
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,879
Speaker 1: kind of got me sad because I think this was

393
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,439
Speaker 1: the last Mother's Day that y'all spent.

394
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 2: Together yes, it was. I can never forget that Mother's Day.

395
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,439
Speaker 2: It was so because I just kept asking her, like,

396
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:04,160
Speaker 2: why why is she being so sad. I didn't understand

397
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 2: because at this point she still wasn't like saying anything

398
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 2: she did. I remember her going on hospice now at

399
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 2: twenty one, like, I'm like, girl, I'm about to be

400
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 2: at the bar, I'm partying, I'm in college. I want

401
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,640
Speaker 2: to live my life. My mom wanted me to live

402
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,360
Speaker 2: my life. Okay, my mom called me, I'm gonna go

403
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 2: be with my mom. But I'm also I'm young, so

404
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,160
Speaker 2: my mom's like, okay, yeah, go ahead and go live

405
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,439
Speaker 2: your life. Like she always put that, mom keep on

406
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 2: when it came to me, so I can never forget.

407
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm the hospice nurse

408
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,680
Speaker 2: is gonna come. And then I remember I was there

409
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 2: that day when the hospice nurse first came. I was

410
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,160
Speaker 2: just telling her what she was going to be doing,

411
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking, like, mom, the nurse, and she's like, yeah,

412
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 2: the nurse's here to get me better. But all along

413
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 2: hospital was basically like this is the end. There's nothing

414
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 2: left that can be done. And I remember my mom

415
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 2: at the end, she started to look sick. Yes, but

416
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 2: then I was just thinking, it's cancer. It's chemo, like

417
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 2: people does that make your skin darker and makes you

418
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,680
Speaker 2: lose weight? Like I was already privy to Okay, she's

419
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 2: gonna be loose on her hair because I was doing

420
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 2: my little research too, But at that point I still

421
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 2: didn't know it was stage four. I remember her talking

422
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,119
Speaker 2: to the Hospitas nurse and she started crying while she

423
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 2: was stoking. Soon as she started crying, she already knew

424
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,679
Speaker 2: it was a triangle effect, like I was boohoo crying,

425
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 2: like because I automatically took on her feeling. I didn't

426
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 2: know exactly what she was feeling, but seeing your mom

427
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,400
Speaker 2: cry made me cry too. So my mom was like, see,

428
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,479
Speaker 2: this is why I don't cry, or this is why

429
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,640
Speaker 2: I don't do certain things, because she's gonna remember everything.

430
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 2: As to my brother, who was seven at the time,

431
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 2: only just remembers like, oh, mommy being sick, but he

432
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 2: doesn't remember everything that she has dealt with. And she

433
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 2: always said that, like she always felt bad that I'm

434
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 2: gonna be the one that remembered everything that she went through,

435
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 2: and he was just you know, so young, just still

436
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 2: playing around, like living his life. So she tried to

437
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,159
Speaker 2: like kind of shelter me still in a way, but

438
00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 2: like sometimes she just had to let it out. And

439
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 2: then like the last Mother's Day, I was like, why

440
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 2: is she in the room, Why is she sad? Like

441
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 2: why is she laying down? Like I can't I'm here?

442
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 2: Like she always thought I was rich for some reason,

443
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 2: and I had a work study job only making like

444
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,159
Speaker 2: two hundred dollars every time. We probably acting for Michael

445
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 2: Core's bags and matching slides. Like she wanted to be me,

446
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,719
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well I can't do that, but I'm

447
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 2: gonna go to Bakers. Remember Bakers Baker, Yes, I'm gonna

448
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,159
Speaker 2: get you a cute bag in matching sand Actually.

449
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 3: Work at Bakers in downtown Brook.

450
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I used to love Bakers. Bakers was the spot.

451
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 2: So I was I can never forget. I got her

452
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,359
Speaker 2: like this burnt orange bag. I was very cute, and

453
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 2: I got her matching sandals, and like she was happy

454
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 2: about it, but then she just came so somber and

455
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 2: was like so sad and then like went in the

456
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 2: room like and she never even said like this was

457
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 2: our last Mother's Day because still to me, it's like, Okay,

458
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 2: my mom's still fighting cancer, Like I don't know what

459
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,640
Speaker 2: stage it was at.

460
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 3: Do you and your brother have conversations about your mom?

461
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 3: Because I feel like since.

462
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 1: You did experience a lot of things with her, and

463
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,880
Speaker 1: like he was so young, like do you have.

464
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 2: To like my brother, it's no, he definitely does remember her.

465
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 2: He doesn't have as many memories as I do. But

466
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 2: it's a very sensitive topic for him. Yeah, only because

467
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 2: I feel like he was so young and like to

468
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,640
Speaker 2: process everything that she went through and how she passed.

469
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 2: I think it was like it's too much for him

470
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 2: to still talk about at fourteen. So you know, we'll

471
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 2: go visit her grave. We have, He has went once

472
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 2: with me and his dad. I don't think it's something

473
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 2: like he likes to do because it brings back like

474
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: this emotion for him. So I kind of not bring

475
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 2: it up to him unless he asks me about.

476
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 1: It, right, right, And he's still young, so it's probably,

477
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 1: like you said, it's really hard for him to probably

478
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: process exactly what he's feeling. So when did when did

479
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,159
Speaker 1: you and your family discover that your mother cancer was

480
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,920
Speaker 1: linked to the debris she inhaled during the events of

481
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 1: ninety eleven.

482
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 2: My mom always contested it, but she was like in

483
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 2: many interviews, like my mom was completely healthy before anything,

484
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 2: like all doctor records, nothing was wrong with her. So

485
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 2: it wasn't until the nine to eleven incident took place

486
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 2: to where she started to see and see how so

487
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 2: many others were diagnosed with cancers, and then they saw

488
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 2: that hers was actually related to it, her attorneys.

489
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: According to reports, nearly twenty five thousand people were diagnosed

490
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 1: with cancer over the past two decades. Do you think

491
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: families affected by these diagnoses should receive conversation?

492
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 2: I definitely do. Just because our parents didn't pass in

493
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 2: the buildings, I feel like we should be compensated for,

494
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 2: like longer than what they just give us something from

495
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 2: the Victim Conversation Fund. This is a lifelong thing that

496
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,360
Speaker 2: we're living with every day. At thirty years old, every

497
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 2: day from twenty one on, I woke up without my mom,

498
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 2: and at no matter what age, we never stopped needing

499
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,640
Speaker 2: our moms. I find myself at a point where it's

500
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 2: just like, Okay, now I have to be a mom

501
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 2: to my son without having my own mom. So that

502
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 2: was kind of hard for me too as well, becoming

503
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,719
Speaker 2: a mom without my mom. And I also had like,

504
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 2: you know, amazing woman figures in my life. But I

505
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: just feel like had that situation not took place, my

506
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,360
Speaker 2: mom would have still been here.

507
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 3: Do you ever go back and look at any of

508
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 3: her old interviews or her I.

509
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 2: Dream sometimes when I get to like missing her voice,

510
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: and then like sometimes it becomes too much. Like there

511
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 2: was an interview that she did for the German television

512
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 2: show and I literally never seen this interview before, but

513
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 2: they have footage of me and my mom playing slide

514
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 2: I never remember that, and me seeing that flash on

515
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 2: the screen and me being so young. I just started

516
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 2: bowling crying because it was just like it was the

517
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 2: trigger for me, Like yeah, I don't know. My mom

518
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 2: was just like a sensitive spot for me. So it

519
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 2: was just like a lot of things, like even going

520
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 2: on Google sometimes they have pictures that I've never seen

521
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,959
Speaker 2: of me and my mom when I was young. I

522
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 2: was just like, oh wow, this is like it's a lot.

523
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 2: It becomes like too much for me right now.

524
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: How does it make you feel knowing that her image

525
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: inspires others?

526
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 2: Now, it makes me feel good. It makes me feel

527
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 2: amazing because like, this is the person that my mom was, like,

528
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 2: no matter what she was going through, her house was

529
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 2: the house to go to. Her house was the house

530
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 2: that you went to you're hungry. Her house was the

531
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 2: house that you went to when you ain't have nowhere

532
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: to stay and you got kicked out. Her house was

533
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 2: the house where it was like you saw Grandma's house

534
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,199
Speaker 2: back in the day, were fourteen kids are on the

535
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 2: floor piled up. That was us there. Like she let

536
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,199
Speaker 2: us parties, She let us be whatever we wanted to be.

537
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: She even gave me freedom of speech where I had

538
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 2: like fifteen minutes to get every curse I wanted to

539
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:41,919
Speaker 2: stay out. Oh wow, yes, So like I feel like

540
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 2: my mom always wanted to inspire others. She always wanted

541
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 2: to be there for others. So that now that her

542
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 2: story is able to, you know, help people get through

543
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: their struggles, I think that that's just like everything to me, right.

544
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: You know, I have a question because when I was

545
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 1: speaking to the other nine to eleven victims, she did

546
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: tell me that she got compensated. But when families are

547
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 1: affected by something as traumatic as this, is a compensation

548
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: only one time? Or is it like a real.

549
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 2: Time, So how is it supposed to last exactly? How

550
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 2: was it supposed to compensate? It was a thank you you

551
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 2: lost your mom, here you go figure it out.

552
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 3: Wow, not as messed.

553
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 2: Up right alswear Families who've lost parents within the buildings

554
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 2: get I think I believe they get compensated for a while.

555
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how long. I didn't research it, but

556
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 2: I feel like they do.

557
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 3: Is it hard for you to go to New York?

558
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 2: No. I went to the nine to eleven memorial when

559
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 2: I did an interview, and like they were asking me

560
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,479
Speaker 2: how I was feeling. I felt sad because of all

561
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: the lives that were lost that day there. But I

562
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 2: really couldn't make a connection there with my mom because

563
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 2: she didn't lose her life there. She lost her life

564
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: battle on cancer due to the nine to eleven attacks.

565
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 2: So it was just like it's like a really eerie feeling.

566
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,679
Speaker 2: Like I remember and as a kid, I would do

567
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 2: hot talent shows, no flashier shows in Harlem, h and

568
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,639
Speaker 2: you know the potholes, they had smoke coming out And

569
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 2: this is my mom's like first time going into the city.

570
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 2: Because I'm like she always was my cheerleader. I'm like, mom,

571
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 2: you gotta go. I want to see you, and she

572
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 2: put on that brave face for me. And my dad

573
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 2: was actually driving through the tunnel. He was like, oh,

574
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 2: we're about a nine to eleven and she saw the

575
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 2: smoke come out of the pot and she tried to

576
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 2: jump out of the car. And this is when I'm

577
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 2: like ten eleven wow, and my grandmother went, this is

578
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 2: my dad's mom. My grandmother went off like call my

579
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: dad every MFA everything. Want to do that right, right? Right?

580
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 3: And I also saw an interview.

581
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: I saw like partial of it because it was only

582
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,479
Speaker 1: available in a certain amount of time where you were

583
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 1: trying to connect with her through a medium.

584
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 2: Yes, so I always wanted to go on or speak

585
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 2: to a medium, right. So it was very weird because

586
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:06,919
Speaker 2: I'm like, is it gonna be real? Is it not

587
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 2: going to be real? Because as a kid, me and

588
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 2: my mom will watch Sylvia Brown. I don't know if

589
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 2: you remember her. She's to come almost so right, So

590
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 2: my mom would be like all right, like she would

591
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: say the craziest shit, like if something ever happened to

592
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 2: one of us, we'll go to the medium. Like she

593
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 2: would say stuff like that, And I'm sitting there like

594
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,120
Speaker 2: at eight seven, like, girl, why are you talking right?

595
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 2: And so I got the opportunity, and honestly, a lot

596
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 2: of the footage that they showed it was just based

597
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,199
Speaker 2: around like nine to eleven, but like a lot of

598
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 2: the things that were being said to me was only

599
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 2: things that my mom would fucking know. It was like

600
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 2: kind of mind blowing and scary at the same time.

601
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 2: Will she say like there were things like I felt

602
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 2: like my mom and my grandmother came through my dad's

603
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 2: mom because we had just lost her to COVID. So

604
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 2: it was just like wow, at this point I was

605
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: able to connect with both of them. But my grandmother,

606
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 2: I put my lallaby that she used to sing to

607
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 2: me in my back pocket and she Teresa, I was like,

608
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 2: you're sending out a casket and the lallaby was playing

609
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 2: at her funeral. It was see the Pyramids that song.

610
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: I forgot the group that sing it, but she was like,

611
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 2: you're sitting at the pyramid. You have the song your

612
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 2: back pocket. I pulled it out. As for my mom,

613
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 2: she was like going crazy, like, oh my god, my

614
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 2: daughter's getting married because I was like playning my wedding

615
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 2: at that time, and my husband was actually her best

616
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 2: friend's nephew. But I was like, Mom, he's a bad boy.

617
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 2: I don't like him, Like I'm not into that. And

618
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 2: she will always try to get us together, like call

619
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: me on a phone, like he's on a phone. I

620
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 2: was like, girl, I have a boyfriend, like stop right,

621
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 2: right right. Brought that up and I was like, wow,

622
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 2: only my mom would know that, because she was like, girl,

623
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: I knew him before you knew him. Wow. Wow. It

624
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 2: was very crazy, like some of the things that she said,

625
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 2: and also like my step mom's dad came through for

626
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 2: her because I brought her with me and he said

627
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: that she wasn't there at the time of his passing.

628
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 2: She actually wasn't because she was trying to rush back

629
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: home from Atlantic City to get there. And I was like, wow, okay,

630
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 2: she says some real shit that only day right, Yeah,

631
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 2: So it was like really crazy. It was spooky. But

632
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 2: I was just really sad that the TV viewers couldn't

633
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 2: see that part right and they only focused on like

634
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: the obvious the picture the I wish they would have

635
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: showed the behind so they could see like, okay, maybe

636
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 2: this is legit and then throwing the nine to eleven.

637
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: Stuff and I believe that's the reason why the Lady Teresa,

638
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 1: she received a lot of flak. But I'm like, they

639
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 1: didn't even show the full thing.

640
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 2: They didn't show the full interview. Nope.

641
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 1: Right, Well, if you want to, if you have a

642
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 1: need a psychic or a medium.

643
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 3: My lady is fired.

644
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: And she's the only person, oh my god, only person

645
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 1: I go to. And she said things to me that

646
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: only my grandma or I will know.

647
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. Definitely a little scary too, you know, because I

648
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 2: don't play that, Like, don't come visit me in my sleep.

649
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 2: You know, your powers always said you don't go with

650
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 2: the dead when they come to visit you. Like I'm

651
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 2: I don't need the signs, you know, Like I love you,

652
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: you love me. We can make as much love as

653
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 2: we want it infinite. I love to be loved outside

654
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:10,719
Speaker 2: of this world.

655
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 3: But don't be doing weird ship.

656
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, all want the lights flickering, I'll do all of that.

657
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: I'm say right.

658
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: Now, What lessons can we learn from your mother's experience

659
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: about the long term mental health challenges that survivors of

660
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: major traumatic events may face.

661
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: I would definitely say, you know yourself when something is wrong,

662
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: you have to be yourself's biggest advocate, because nobody's gonna

663
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 2: know what you're going through, and only you know the

664
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 2: type of help that you need. And if you have children,

665
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 2: don't let us fill into them. And I would just say, like,

666
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 2: do what you need to do. Then make sure that

667
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 2: you're you're your best self for you, because if you

668
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 2: don't love you, you're not able to love nobody else.

669
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: Right now, losing the loved one in such a public

670
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: and tragic way can add unique challenges to the grieving process.

671
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 1: So how have you been able to navigate the public's

672
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: interest in your mother's story while also dealing with your

673
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: personal grief?

674
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 2: So I can honestly say, still to this day, it's fake.

675
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 2: I can never forget my cousin Nika. She definitely would

676
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 2: just look at me and I'd be like, girl, this

677
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 2: is not real, Like it was fake to me. I mean,

678
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 2: I had all the emotion I saw the casket, but

679
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 2: it was fake, like going to her grave. Now it

680
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 2: still doesn't set into me because I'm like, this is

681
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 2: not real, I think, and me, I really didn't grieve

682
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 2: yet and it's been eight years because in my mind

683
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 2: it's just not like I'm not making this up, like

684
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 2: I'm not still living without my mom, like it's just fake.

685
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 2: And when I say this sometimes people be like, yo,

686
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 2: you're crazy, but I mean I can't believe it. Yeah,

687
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 2: I think this is my way of grieving, Like I

688
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 2: can't believe she's not here, like she would have never

689
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 2: missed nothing in my life and have to like live

690
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 2: without her. I'm just like this is unrealistic. This is

691
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 2: like this shou is fake, Like can I stay cut right?

692
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 2: It's over? But no, it's my reality. And every day

693
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 2: I have to like wake up and be like maybe

694
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 2: it is real, like maybe it really is. Like I

695
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 2: know it's real for my brother because he's like dealing

696
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 2: with it, like growing up without a mom, just him

697
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 2: and his dad, and like me trying to be the

698
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 2: active sister to him. And it's hard because I could

699
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 2: never feel the shoes of my mom and I can

700
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 2: never be my mom to myself. I can never be

701
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 2: my mom to him. Shit, at this age, I still

702
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 2: be my mom. There's sometimes I find myself like something

703
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 2: is crazy happened. I'm like, shit, I want to call

704
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 2: my mom, like wow, yeah, it's just like I don't know.

705
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: I feel like I am still grieving grievn has no time,

706
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 2: no period when it has to stop. I'm just continuing, Yeah.

707
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: Because I lost my grandmother like seven years ago and

708
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,919
Speaker 1: she was like a mom to me and till this day,

709
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 1: like it still hurts.

710
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I just feel like I'm just going with

711
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 2: the emotions. One minute, I'm crying, next minute I'm not.

712
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 2: My mom loved the movie Rent five thousand, five hundred.

713
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 2: So when I hear that song, that's yes, that's a

714
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 2: that's a trigger for me. And I'll just text it

715
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:34,439
Speaker 2: to my cousin Nika and be like girl the song,

716
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 2: and then she'll send me back the up the part

717
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,479
Speaker 2: of the lyrics like girl, this is crazy, Like that's

718
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,760
Speaker 2: just like our thing. Sometimes.

719
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: Is it hard for you to have these conversations about

720
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: your mom because I know you want to obviously up

721
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 1: keep the legacy, but like it gotta be hard to

722
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: keep like talking about certain things and then the memories

723
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 1: coming to play.

724
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:54,800
Speaker 2: Yea, in the beginning, I can say it was because

725
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 2: at first I'm like, how can I do this? Like

726
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 2: she will always say where the dust lady starts her

727
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 2: daughter teams, So how can I live up to this?

728
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 2: How can I keep her alive. What can I do?

729
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 2: I could be doing more, but now I feel good,

730
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 2: Like I feel like seeing how much of a huge

731
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 2: fan base she has overseas, seeing how so many people

732
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 2: reach out to me, and sometimes it can be super

733
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 2: weird on like Facebook and Instagram. I'm like just saying

734
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 2: the craziest thing they be saying, Like people just be like, oh,

735
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 2: you're like scary people like dads and uncles and like Hi,

736
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 2: I'm from Switzerland, Like you're just so beautiful. I wish

737
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 2: I could touch your cheek or like like yeah, so

738
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 2: I'm just like But other than that, seeing the outreach

739
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 2: of love and support and how people just want to

740
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 2: continue support into her and just using her story, it

741
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 2: makes me feel good when I talk about her.

742
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: You know what, you make a really good interesting point.

743
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: So I was speaking to the door to Flores Griffin Joyner.

744
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 3: A lot of people you know what.

745
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 2: It is, No, but you can fill me in.

746
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: Who is Okay, So she was flow Joe. She is

747
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: known as the fastest woman in the world when it

748
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 1: comes to her.

749
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 2: Okay, but I think I read my kids a book

750
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 2: about that. Okay.

751
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, so me and her daughter are really cool.

752
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: And I was speaking to her about like the difficulty

753
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: or the challenges when it comes to maintaining someone else's legacy.

754
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 3: So do you have that problem as well?

755
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 2: I think so, because it's just like the parture is on,

756
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 2: Like am I seeing the right thing? Am I looking

757
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 2: the right way? And I do what she wanted me

758
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,879
Speaker 2: to do? Is this what they want to hear? Are

759
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 2: they just picking me just because I'm her daughter? Like?

760
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 2: Do they actually want to hear her stories? Like? It's

761
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 2: so many things that go through my head right right?

762
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: So what would you like others to understand about the

763
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: ongoing emotional impact that the events of nine to eleven

764
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,439
Speaker 1: can have on individuals and families even years later.

765
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 2: I would just say traumatic experiences are real. There's no

766
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 2: some people have I saw like stories where like oh,

767
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 2: it's faking it, Like people are just put it on

768
00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:01,239
Speaker 2: the show. Like yeah, Like this affects family, Like it

769
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 2: causes people to go to dark places where they not

770
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 2: normally are And not only is the person hurting, but

771
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: also the family too as well, because we're doing all

772
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 2: that we can to support this person and honestly, we

773
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 2: don't know what they're really battling what they saw. I

774
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 2: remember my mom telling me her story of being in

775
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: the building that day. She literally was like she I

776
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 2: remember her saying when a plane hit, it shook, and

777
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 2: she was like, wait, what's going on to her boss,

778
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,240
Speaker 2: like going crazy. She was nervous, and he was just like, oh,

779
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 2: a Plaine just nipped the antenna, like it must have

780
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 2: happened before, but this is her first time. She never

781
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: got like a drill. Yeah, Like so she never got

782
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 2: like a drill before, like you know, a fire drill,

783
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 2: safety drill, none of that, because this is like her

784
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 2: first few months, first month there basically, and she says

785
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: she at that moment she knew something was wrong. She

786
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 2: just started running down the stairs. She left everything, and

787
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 2: she said the craziest thing about it is, has she

788
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 2: been there long enough to go through those drills, she

789
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 2: probably would have locked herself where everybody else went safety

790
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 2: and died and passed away. But because she panicked, her

791
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 2: mind told her to like leave, like she wanted to

792
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 2: get back home to me at that time, So she

793
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 2: just started running down the stairs. And she was like,

794
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,240
Speaker 2: she went from seeing like paper and desk s fuying

795
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 2: out the window to people, so I could only imagine

796
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 2: like what was going on and how badly that affected her.

797
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:20,800
Speaker 3: You know, it's so crazy.

798
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 1: When I was reading her story, I was thinking.

799
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 3: Like, when did she leave?

800
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 1: Because for her to be on the eighty first floor

801
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 1: and she survived, I know she was not playing no games.

802
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 2: He left at the very beginning, as soon as the

803
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 2: antenna hit it, and she felt this shape that first time.

804
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 2: She was like, no, this is right, this is not great.

805
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 2: I'm out of here. Y'all just sit around here. And

806
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 2: her boss actually told her that she was making everybody

807
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 2: scared and that she needs to relax and calm down.

808
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 2: And at that point she was like, nah, Fred, you

809
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 2: could keep this bo like I'm out. Wow.

810
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 1: And that's another good point because they need to update

811
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: the procedures and protocols when it comes to fire drills,

812
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 1: because you tell the people to go in this room

813
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: and be safe and.

814
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 3: Ain't what can happen.

815
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: That's the same thing I felt like being a teacher

816
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,919
Speaker 2: and doing a lockdown drill. Yeah, yeah, we're sitting, We're

817
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: just in a classroom. We're locked in a classroom. Yeah,

818
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 2: anybody that's been through drills before knows that, Okay, we

819
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 2: get away from the windows, we do this. But I

820
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 2: feel like the drills should change every year.

821
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,359
Speaker 3: Because every year it's something new.

822
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, every year is something new.

823
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: I was telling my cousin about that with my niece.

824
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, you need to teach her how to survive.

825
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: And he was like, but you putting fear in her

826
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,359
Speaker 1: And I said, yeah, but this is the real world.

827
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, every day every year, Yeah, yeah, it's a

828
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: massive shooting. I'm like, I mean, granted, she's only six

829
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 1: years old, I said, but she's still smart. I'm like,

830
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: God forbid. I want her to be able to like

831
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 1: play dead or like write like the.

832
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 2: Little girl in Texas who took it and put it

833
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 2: on the blood on her and just laid there like

834
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 2: she was dead. I thought, thought was like, wow, that

835
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 2: was okay. I'm survival mold, Like, yeah, who would have

836
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,760
Speaker 2: thought of that. Yeah, it's really.

837
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 3: Sad, really sad.

838
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 1: So how do you envision and legacy of your mother

839
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 1: evolving in the context of how the world remembers her

840
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: and the events I'm not eleven, because I do think

841
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 1: that she should have her own statue or something in

842
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: nine eleven memorial.

843
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 2: A statue would be nice, but I'm definitely my mom

844
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 2: has journals. She always wanted to write her book, and

845
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 2: I actually want to finish that process for her. She

846
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 2: has an amazing name for her book. I can never

847
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 2: forget it. I think that's amazing. You know.

848
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 3: I might take that out because I don't want to

849
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 3: right to take it from me.

850
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:34,280
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so yeah, take that out, Okay, Okay. So

851
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 2: she definitely wants a book. She I think she definitely

852
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 2: needs a book. I'm all for a movie, you know,

853
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,479
Speaker 2: Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, what's up? I'm here. I feel

854
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 2: like her story needs to be told. So I definitely

855
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 2: am looking into like publishing and publishers to help me

856
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:53,720
Speaker 2: get this book created.

857
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 3: And what was her journals about?

858
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:55,359
Speaker 1: Like?

859
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 3: Was it everything?

860
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 2: Just in her entire life, her entire life up until

861
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 2: nine life and after?

862
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 1: What's one thing you would like people don't know about

863
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 1: your mother that no one knows besides her family.

864
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like everybody knew everything. She

865
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 2: was crazy, although she was crazy, She was outgoing, she

866
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 2: was loud. My mom was scary, very scary. The little

867
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 2: she was like mm mmm, like Jersey City, are you

868
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 2: familiar with that area? Like Jersey I never really went

869
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 2: to Jersey City, So They would always be like, don't

870
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 2: go on the hill, right, so I thought it was

871
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 2: actually like a hill, but it's not. It was just

872
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 2: like Martin Luther King whatever. My mom was like, don't

873
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: go by that hill. Or she would put me in

874
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 2: the car and be like, I'm gonna lock the windows

875
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 2: in the door. You don't talk to nobody. Like. She

876
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 2: was very scary, like she did not play at all,

877
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 2: like anything that had to do with like safety. She

878
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 2: was like that person like, girl, I'm gonna get the

879
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 2: cops for you, because you didn't even do all of this. Yeah,

880
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 2: that was her before eleven.

881
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,439
Speaker 3: Have she ever been through something before or no, She's

882
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:58,280
Speaker 3: just a person.

883
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 2: Yes, scarerson, I'm a scary person. Like I might act like, Okay,

884
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 2: I'm Santana. I'm out. I'm out, I'm out the way

885
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 2: he ran, I'm out. I don't play with my name,

886
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 2: I don't play with nothing about me. I'm out. I'm scared.

887
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 2: Do nothing scary about me. Because yup, they was there,

888
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 2: but eight o'clock they had they was eating chicken and

889
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 2: the grease, the chicken crumbs is still on the floor.

890
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 2: Like I'm telling I'm scared. I was like, oh, I

891
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 2: could never commit a crime. You shouldn't want to because

892
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 2: you are going like, I don't do that. I'm scary,

893
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 2: my mom.

894
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 3: I am a whole civilian, okay.

895
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 2: And I followed the law the law. I followed the

896
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 2: law thinking of otherwise leave me out of it expeditiously

897
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: because I don't because I tell you I'm not the one, two, three,

898
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 2: or four. But yes, yup, that is Carl. He is

899
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 2: over there right right now.

900
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 1: And last but not least, what is some lessons messages?

901
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: Do you think your mom will want to share with others?

902
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 2: I don't know. I would always say that even though

903
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 2: that she went through her struggles, I would just say

904
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,280
Speaker 2: her biggest thing would be to live live your life

905
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 2: to the fullest. Yeah, live your life to the fullest.

906
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: Don't let nothing hold you back. Because even with her

907
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 2: dealing with cancer, she still remains to being her true self.

908
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 2: She was just like her happy, go lucky self, like

909
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 2: she just lived her life. Nothing stopped her. I could say,

910
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 2: my mom, even though she passed out forty two, but

911
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 2: baby girl, she lived, She had fun. Yeah, she got

912
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 2: in trouble, she got out of trouble, but she lived

913
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 2: her life. And that's when it kind of keeps me going, like,

914
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 2: although she's not here, I know she wants me to

915
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:43,879
Speaker 2: continue to live.

916
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 3: Right, And forty two is so young?

917
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 2: Yes, Sorry, when I think about it, I'm like, wow,

918
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 2: forty two years old. I was only twenty two at

919
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,720
Speaker 2: the time when my mom passed. I was just like, Wow,

920
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 2: she still had her whole life better, Like, since ain't

921
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 2: even hit fifty, how she had the girl she would

922
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 2: have had a bowl okay, like she had a big party.

923
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 2: I mean, it's sad that her life was cut short,

924
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 2: but she definitely lived.

925
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and her birthday just passed right.

926
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: Yes, July nineteen, the big fifty. Yes, we probably, Yeah.

927
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:17,800
Speaker 3: She would have turned fifty years old.

928
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 2: Yep this year.

929
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 3: Wow, did y'all do anything to celebrate?

930
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 2: I actually was on vacation. This birthday was kind of

931
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 2: weird because I knew it would have been like a

932
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 2: whole production. Has she been here? So I actual movie,

933
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 2: a movie, a shake Bayone water shut down. She would

934
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 2: have be like, I'm still Bayone, I'm still Bayone. She

935
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 2: used to always say that. But no, I actually was

936
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 2: away and you know, shouted her out as I normally do,

937
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 2: come back home visit her, give her flowers, but it

938
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 2: was just kind of just bittersweet for me. Any birthday,

939
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 2: any anniversary of her not being here, she's always just bittersweet.

940
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,880
Speaker 2: I never know how I'm gonna feel, what I'm gonna feel,

941
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 2: what my mind is going to be thinking. It's just

942
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 2: always just it just happens when it comes right.

943
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: Well, I appreciate you for coming on the show, y'all.

944
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,879
Speaker 1: I was really stalking her, y'all because I can only

945
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 1: imagine how many people reach out to you to share

946
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:11,760
Speaker 1: your family story.

947
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 2: Yes, so many, but I do. I definitely do feel

948
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:20,239
Speaker 2: I felt safe, like, Okay, you know black girl power old, yeah,

949
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 2: from us. I'm very supportive of it. So I was

950
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 2: just like, yes, I definitely want to do this interview.

951
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 2: I was actually very excited about it. I'm just like

952
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 2: my friends like, oh, I'm gonna do it. My cousin

953
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,800
Speaker 2: Nico was like, girl, put me on a tour, but

954
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, girl, it's a zoom, We're gonna be zooming.

955
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 3: Yes, no, thank you so much. I really appreciate.

956
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 1: And then just seeing your mother in that picture and

957
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 1: just you know, just watching her story, like just being

958
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,919
Speaker 1: a black woman, like it definitely resonated with me because

959
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 1: you could just see the emotions through through her voice

960
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 1: and her just the way she was expressing herself. So

961
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: God bless you and your family because you, Yeah, what

962
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: an amazing story. And unfortunately is it's really messed up

963
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: how she passed away at such a young age because

964
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 1: of this event trigger because who knows if it's nine

965
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,280
Speaker 1: level what never happen, She might not have never got cancer.

966
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,439
Speaker 2: Still here shaking what's up?

967
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 3: Says right, But at least her legacy still lives on.

968
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:23,879
Speaker 3: So thank you so much of course, and.

969
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 1: To the listeners, please make sure to follow me on Instagram, TikTok,

970
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 1: and YouTube at the Professional Homegirl And if you want

971
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,359
Speaker 1: to key key about this week's episode, please make sure

972
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 1: to follow me on Instagram at the PHG podcast. Also,

973
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: don't forget to check out my love letters that I

974
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 1: write every month titled They All the One at www

975
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 1: dot t h E y a L l t h

976
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 1: E one dot com. A Professional Homegirl podcast is a

977
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,719
Speaker 1: production of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts

978
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

979
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe

980
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 1: and rate the show and you can connect with me

981
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: on social media at the PG podcast