Speaker 1: Listen closely.
Speaker 2: The legacy you leave will not be defined by how
Speaker 2: much money you make.
Speaker 3: M that's a good thing. And I just know that
Speaker 3: as rich as my heritage and culture is, that needs
Speaker 3: to be folded up into the legacy that we leave
Speaker 3: our children.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass.
Speaker 2: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
Speaker 2: from the heart. Since then we've gone on to become
Speaker 2: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.
Speaker 3: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
Speaker 3: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Be raw, or but most apportly be us.
Speaker 3: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,
Speaker 3: and through it all, one thing has never changed. This
Speaker 3: is a sever after because we got a lot to
Speaker 3: talk about.
Speaker 2: Story time, so as you all know, we have four
Speaker 2: beautiful voice and over the past I say a year,
Speaker 2: I've learned a lot about raising our children. Just in
Speaker 2: the past year, yes, I'll say in the past year,
Speaker 2: mainly because Jackson turned thirteen, and as so many of
Speaker 2: you know, in other cultures, you turn thirteen. In Jewish
Speaker 2: culture you have about missfah even in I think in
Speaker 2: Latino culture, when you turn thirteen, for girls.
Speaker 1: Or was fifteen for coach.
Speaker 2: So it's like that age that turning thirteen in many
Speaker 2: cultures is a sign of becoming an adult. And recently
Speaker 2: I've realized with Jackson that there's more teaching that goes
Speaker 2: into teaching a young man how to be a man
Speaker 2: than it teaches him how to do anything that's in
Speaker 2: association with his occupation. So, for example, Jackson and I
Speaker 2: had gone through this back and forth with football and basketball,
Speaker 2: and I realized, you know what, I am going to
Speaker 2: back up a little bit and not hover. Brought Jay
Speaker 2: down here from New York so that he can be
Speaker 2: his basketball mentor kind of like an uncle, so that
Speaker 2: I could still be dad. But I knew someone who
Speaker 2: has the same intensity for sports to coach him. One day,
Speaker 2: Jay was like, yo, Jacks, we got five ams. So Jax,
Speaker 2: being Jack's at thirteen, was up five am, five thirty two.
Speaker 2: I get a text message from Jay, literally, yo, d
Speaker 2: I fucked up? This is the text message, right, And
Speaker 2: then I say, testaments of what happened?
Speaker 1: You're supposed to be here. He calls me.
Speaker 2: He said, Yo, I got sick last night. I actually
Speaker 2: got really sick, passed out on the floor. Woke up
Speaker 2: this morning and it's five thirty. I got a long
Speaker 2: text message from Jackson.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 2: The text message says something like this, This is a
Speaker 2: thirteen year old Hey, j I have to be at
Speaker 2: school for eight o'clock. You told me to be here
Speaker 2: at five. You told me to be up at five
Speaker 2: am so you could pick me up. I'm up and
Speaker 2: you're not here. We talk about trusting this house, and
Speaker 2: if you expect me to trust, you have to be
Speaker 2: a man of your word because words have power. I
Speaker 2: could have gotten more sleep, so I'm not gonna do
Speaker 2: six am. I'm going back to sleep. And he proceeded
Speaker 2: to go back to sleep, and then Papa took him
Speaker 2: to school. And then Jay said to me, like yod,
Speaker 2: I had to grow up in that moment because the
Speaker 2: man and me wanted to be upset that he was
Speaker 2: talking to me. But then I also realized that he
Speaker 2: was mature and actually right. And I know this story
Speaker 2: was about me teaching my was supposed to be about
Speaker 2: me teaching my son how to do something outside of sports,
Speaker 2: but it was ultimately my son teaching another man about
Speaker 2: something because that was something that he learned from his father.
Speaker 2: And for me that's the important part about the legacy
Speaker 2: is the man aspect of it. When he said the
Speaker 2: words like you have to be a man of your
Speaker 2: word and words have power, I noted that's something that
Speaker 2: he got from me because.
Speaker 3: I say that all the time, all the time, all
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 1: And when Jay read the text from me, I was pissed.
Speaker 2: First, well, you had my son wake up, But I
Speaker 2: was also proud the jackson not only stood his ground,
Speaker 2: but he was eloquent in these words.
Speaker 3: So eloquent and respectful.
Speaker 1: That's my boy, man.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what we teach accountability in this house, all right.
Speaker 3: Everybody has to follow suit.
Speaker 2: So with that being said, you had a karaoke song.
Speaker 2: I did song, which is funny because yesterday we was
Speaker 2: arguing about you know what I like.
Speaker 1: And I do mine, and then they don't have to
Speaker 1: be one karaoke.
Speaker 3: If it's fitting for us to have to. I mean,
Speaker 3: initially when I said mine, you were like, oh, that's
Speaker 3: what I was thinking of, But then you had something else.
Speaker 1: So I think because it was the first thing that
Speaker 1: came up with, legacy.
Speaker 3: Was right right. Well, of course, Jay Z, legacy right
Speaker 3: makes sense. Legacy, Legacy Black excellency, let them see.
Speaker 1: Let them see.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But then I started thinking about the spoken word.
Speaker 2: This is from the Blueprint two album. Jay Z said
Speaker 2: this at the end of the first song. I see,
Speaker 2: I said, jealousy, I said, got the whole industry mad
Speaker 2: at me? I said, then be I said, Oh, remind yourself.
Speaker 2: Nobody built like you. You design yourself. I see, I said,
Speaker 2: my wonderful con self getting stoned every day like Jesus did.
Speaker 2: What he said, I said, has been said before, So
Speaker 2: keep doing your thing.
Speaker 1: He said, say no more. That's legacy.
Speaker 2: That like, it gives me chills to even say that
Speaker 2: and think about what it means.
Speaker 1: You know, the idea of getting stoned every day like
Speaker 1: Jesus did.
Speaker 2: It's like, Yo, my legacy is that I'm not going
Speaker 2: to follow and do everything everybody else. I am going
Speaker 2: to do something outside the box. That's my legacy, my legacies.
Speaker 2: I'm going to do something that's never been done, and
Speaker 2: people will crucify me for it because it's never been done.
Speaker 2: But at the very end, he said, I see, I said,
Speaker 2: what's been said before. Keep doing your thing, he said,
Speaker 2: say no more, just like Jesus. No matter what they
Speaker 2: say about you keep doing your thing because your thing
Speaker 2: will ultimately become the trend one day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a fact.
Speaker 3: And if not, at least you'll be happy with being yourself.
Speaker 1: Amen.
Speaker 3: That's ultimately what we teach these boys.
Speaker 1: Amen.
Speaker 6: Love that man.
Speaker 3: All Right, y'all, let's take a quick break. We're gonna
Speaker 3: pay some bills and then we're going to get back
Speaker 3: into the meat of the show. So stick around Legacy, baby.
Speaker 3: All right, we're back, all right now for Devo's favorite
Speaker 3: part of the show.
Speaker 1: This is my favorite part of the show.
Speaker 3: What we got going on today, girl.
Speaker 5: Well, since we're talking about Legacy today, I heard that
Speaker 5: stephen A Smith and Lebron James got into it court
Speaker 5: side of the Lakers game a few weeks ago.
Speaker 3: Oh, I did see that.
Speaker 5: I guess Bronnie James was playing particularly poorly that game
Speaker 5: and stephen A Smith must have been saying something courtside,
Speaker 5: so Lebron went up to him and, reportedly, according to Smith,
Speaker 5: he said, stop effing with my son.
Speaker 6: That's my son.
Speaker 5: So my question is about nepotism.
Speaker 6: In this situation.
Speaker 2: About nepotism. Oh, I have a strong opinion about this.
Speaker 2: I'm all for nepotism. This country was built on nepotism.
Speaker 2: They just mad because now we're using nepotism. And even
Speaker 2: in a more poignant point when it comes to the
Speaker 2: James family, lebron James has made a shit ton.
Speaker 1: Of money for not only the NBA, but ESPN and Nike.
Speaker 2: Right, and we all agree that he's made billions of
Speaker 2: dollars for those three companies. Right, people have a problem
Speaker 2: with his son being drafted into the NBA, right, and
Speaker 2: him getting a seven million dollar deal. I challenge anyone
Speaker 2: to go back in time and look at all of
Speaker 2: the draft picks at that time.
Speaker 1: They all got the same amount of deal.
Speaker 2: They all got about seven million, some got more, some
Speaker 2: got nine million, being I think he's a fifty fifth pick, right, Josh.
Speaker 1: So people were upset that he a seven million dollars.
Speaker 2: This also shows you the ignorance people see something automatically
Speaker 2: assume that Bronnie James got more than everybody else until
Speaker 2: they do research and realize he didn't get more than
Speaker 2: everybody else. But also, let me ask you this, if
Speaker 2: you made billions of dollars for three companies, right, why
Speaker 2: would you put your son into the nc double A
Speaker 2: to make more money for the NC DOUBLEA when you
Speaker 2: can put him where you can make sure that he's
Speaker 2: taken care of what he can learn about the game
Speaker 2: and make his own money. Don't that seem like it
Speaker 2: just makes sense, you know what I'm saying, Like at
Speaker 2: this point, it's really not even nepotism, it's just smart.
Speaker 2: You know, that's my son. I make this company all
Speaker 2: of this money. He's going to grow here where I
Speaker 2: can make sure that he's protected. I'm also gonna make
Speaker 2: sure he grows in a place where he's not making
Speaker 2: another institution money.
Speaker 1: Because Braun never went to the NC Double A. He
Speaker 1: went sure at a high school. So I understand it.
Speaker 1: I understand the mentality.
Speaker 2: I think that people don't realize that they're playing a
Speaker 2: different game.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Bron is an icon. His
Speaker 1: son is not going to do.
Speaker 2: Things the way ever three other child does, and I
Speaker 2: think people are upset about that. But I don't think.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's quote unquote nepotism. And even if
Speaker 2: it is nepotism, go ahead and nepotize your way to
Speaker 2: the top. Because I played in the NFL where every
Speaker 2: coach's son is on staff.
Speaker 1: That owners son is own staff.
Speaker 2: Like, there's people who are gms who have no football
Speaker 2: experience because their father was in the front office. So
Speaker 2: if we don't have a problem with that, I don't
Speaker 2: have a problem with this.
Speaker 3: Remember in college we went to at Hofstra. One of
Speaker 3: my residents, who is living on my floor, okay, woke
Speaker 3: up one middle of the night to someone someone was
Speaker 3: in my in my dorm room. So this is when
Speaker 3: I was living in the towers, so I was in
Speaker 3: charge of my entire ninth floor. Deval and I were
Speaker 3: in my little twin size bed asleep middle of the night.
Speaker 3: I was the r A on duty that night. Big spoon,
Speaker 3: little spoon, big little spoon in the twin size bed, right.
Speaker 3: And then I hear in my sleep like water is running.
Speaker 3: I'm like my dreaming, like what's going on? Open my
Speaker 3: eyes and there is a young man in my room
Speaker 3: in the dark, taking a piss in my garbage can
Speaker 3: in my room.
Speaker 4: I was dead.
Speaker 3: Nah in my room. So I jump out the bed.
Speaker 3: Deval jumps off the bed. We were like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: jump and grab him.
Speaker 1: No, he's paying.
Speaker 3: I'm like he's paying a long stream piece like he
Speaker 3: was clearly like super nebrated and on something right, So
Speaker 3: I'm like, don't So he like literally comes to when
Speaker 3: we turn on the lights and he sees like he's
Speaker 3: in the room with me and Deval and he was like,
Speaker 3: oh shit. So I was like, I said his name,
Speaker 3: and I was like, you better get the fuck out
Speaker 3: my room and take the garbage can with you.
Speaker 2: It's the funniest part though. It's the funniest part. He
Speaker 2: picks up the garbage can and goes into the bathroom
Speaker 2: to clean it out. Right, public safety comes. They're all
Speaker 2: former football players because once she called, they run upstairs.
Speaker 1: Yo, do you good.
Speaker 2: I'm saying, yeah, dudes in the bathroom. They come back laughing,
Speaker 2: and I said, what happened? They go in the bathroom.
Speaker 2: I go in the bathroom. Dude is in the shower
Speaker 2: with the garbage can, fully clothed and all of the.
Speaker 3: Wall just running on it and running out of the
Speaker 3: garbage can.
Speaker 1: And the dude was just like he's They were like,
Speaker 1: he's on something other than just alcohol.
Speaker 2: Made no sense, So they took care of him, took
Speaker 2: him to the hospital, make sure he didn't have anything.
Speaker 1: So a couple of days later, I go by.
Speaker 2: He lived down the dorm down the hall from me.
Speaker 2: So I'm knock on the door and I'm like, yo,
Speaker 2: what's the deal? Like real talk like you party Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday,
Speaker 2: Like how like how dude? Undergrad's a fucking joke. My
Speaker 2: fifth year. My dad owns Vitamin World. When I graduated,
Speaker 2: want to sit on the board, I'm gonna make like
Speaker 2: two hudred and fifty k. That's literally what he told me.
Speaker 2: And I said, that's a different game, y'all, playing bro like.
Speaker 1: Undergrad to them was a place to go socialized.
Speaker 3: I tell you, wow, old to do it, have fun, travel.
Speaker 1: He said.
Speaker 2: My dad said, if I get my degree, then I
Speaker 2: can sit on the board. Not when if, But he
Speaker 2: was just there of five years, and when he gets
Speaker 2: his degree, he gets to sit on the board and
Speaker 2: make a quarter million dollars. That's what And that's nepotism.
Speaker 2: They have no problem with that. So that's a great story.
Speaker 3: So for me, I'm just like, they be over here
Speaker 3: doing it all the time. They put their kids in
Speaker 3: positions to at minimum make six figures sitting on a
Speaker 3: board with the potential to if they were invested in
Speaker 3: the company, potentially rise in the company. So I'm like,
Speaker 3: maybe I'm gonna do the same thing for my children,
Speaker 3: because guess what we've been over here busting our ass
Speaker 3: to make away facts and one thing divine and I
Speaker 3: are teaching our kids regardless. When you think of just
Speaker 3: the overarching topic of legacy, it's like you have to
Speaker 3: build a certain character in general to go through life with.
Speaker 3: So I'm all for being able to put your kids on.
Speaker 3: Is Brianny a good player?
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't really pay by the time this comes out,
Speaker 2: y'all seeing he just had his career high last night.
Speaker 1: He had seventeen, seventeen, five and two.
Speaker 3: He's just starting now.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be fair because people are going to say, oh,
Speaker 2: they was getting blown out. I don't care if they
Speaker 2: was getting blown out. And I think he's averaging over
Speaker 2: twenty in the G League, and the number two pick
Speaker 2: from this year I think is in the G League
Speaker 2: and averages less points than Brownie. So it's like, I
Speaker 2: think's number two and number three. I know some sports
Speaker 2: people can be like, no, it's not the number two,
Speaker 2: it's not it's the number four. I don't shit, dude,
Speaker 2: just scored seventeen points last night in the NBA game.
Speaker 2: You cannot tell me he don't belong in the NBA.
Speaker 3: Come on now, exactly, And they're expecting him to come
Speaker 3: fresh out of wherever he's coming out of school to
Speaker 3: be at the same level of his father, Like, come on.
Speaker 2: Also, there's so many other nuances here that people don't realize.
Speaker 2: Two years ago, Brownie had a heart condition that almost.
Speaker 1: Cost him his life.
Speaker 2: Remember, yeah, yeah, at this point, if I'm a dad,
Speaker 2: I don't give a shit period about what people think
Speaker 2: about what I'm going to do for my son. Like
Speaker 2: if this is going to and I don't want to
Speaker 2: put this, I say it shortens his life.
Speaker 1: I'm going to give my son every opportunity now to.
Speaker 2: Get his dream, you know, cause what if you get
Speaker 2: some report that, hey, he only has a couple more
Speaker 2: years to play basketball before he has to chill. Okay,
Speaker 2: these are things they're not going to disclose to us,
Speaker 2: But he getting there.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, We don't know.
Speaker 2: And I'm not going to say that I'm gonna knock
Speaker 2: on wood because I'm hoping that that's not the case.
Speaker 2: My head here, I just I think this whole thing
Speaker 2: about nepotism with them is just yeah, it's.
Speaker 3: All blown out and shout out to my girl Savannah.
Speaker 3: Because people have told me that I'll be on my
Speaker 3: Savannah tip at these basketball games with Jackson because I'll
Speaker 3: be just concentrating on my son. So I had dming
Speaker 3: that was like girl, I said people somebody said you'd
Speaker 3: be like, oh my god, you so much like Savannah James,
Speaker 3: Like you just be so into the game. Yeah, because
Speaker 3: I'm here for my son, not here to entertain with y'all.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, I'll be like here, people
Speaker 3: shout out to Savannah if you locks up with her kids.
Speaker 1: Well, you're supposed to be there to entertain people.
Speaker 3: No, I got kids kids, was the AAU circuit track whatever.
Speaker 3: I'm not there to chucking job with nobody, but I
Speaker 3: feel root my kids on. So, yes, what.
Speaker 2: Y'all think, I know, I know how y'all think about nepotism.
Speaker 2: We had this discussion, Matt.
Speaker 7: Nepotism is running all up and down that building and
Speaker 7: every other building. I'm all for all for it.
Speaker 4: I'm all for it. I think you bloom where you're planted.
Speaker 8: The fact that his dad put him in bad I
Speaker 8: won't say his dad put him in that position. I
Speaker 8: would say that his dad had influence to get him
Speaker 8: to be a part of the NBA and the Lakers
Speaker 8: for that matter.
Speaker 4: And for the.
Speaker 8: Most part, a lot of us are unqualified for the
Speaker 8: positions that we have in general, right.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 8: It is up to you to take the opportunity that
Speaker 8: you have to bloom in that position. And I think
Speaker 8: he's doing exactly what he needs to do. I have
Speaker 8: no issues with it. I guarantee you, once I have
Speaker 8: my production studio, once I'm making my own films, my
Speaker 8: daughter who wants to be an actress, I guarantee you
Speaker 8: she will be in my films. Now a day in
Speaker 8: acting school. She will go to acting school. Doesn't matter
Speaker 8: because absolutely I'm grooming her for what she wants in
Speaker 8: the future.
Speaker 3: So absolutely that makes so much sense as you should.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I one agree with nepotism, especially when it comes
Speaker 5: to black folks. It's something that we haven't always been
Speaker 5: able to do. I saw a video the other day
Speaker 5: White Lotus, the show Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is on White Lotus,
Speaker 5: and they posted a video the other day that was
Speaker 5: like the moment that whoever. Schwarzenegger found out that he
Speaker 5: got the part on White Lotus and everybody was like,
Speaker 5: I thought they were on set in this video because
Speaker 5: they're at like a nice resort.
Speaker 6: They're like, this isn't news.
Speaker 5: Bro, Like, yeah, we know why you got the part.
Speaker 5: But I guess sports fans are a little bit different
Speaker 5: at they're a little more a little harsher when it
Speaker 5: comes to criticism, but hey.
Speaker 1: It depends on who they're harsh with.
Speaker 2: Yes, Archie Manning made it a point to make sure
Speaker 2: that his kids went exactly where they went, and no
Speaker 2: one had an issue with that. He pretty much told
Speaker 2: I think it was the San Diego Chargers, do not draft.
Speaker 2: If you draft Eli, he will go back to college
Speaker 2: and not play. So then they drafted him and traded
Speaker 2: him to the Giants for Philip Rivers. So here's another
Speaker 2: opportunity where nepotism. A former Hall of Fame or hall
Speaker 2: of famer tells people in this organization what's going to happen,
Speaker 2: and nobody has a problem with it. But then when
Speaker 2: it's Lebron or it's Dion, Oh, now was a problem.
Speaker 1: That's all of this? They can kiss minds with that.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I hope them brothers get everything they
Speaker 1: want out of life, big man, and.
Speaker 6: They can be the most mediocre player on the team.
Speaker 1: Fact me.
Speaker 3: Hey, yeah, that's how Sometimes though, with nepotism, you wonder
Speaker 3: why think.
Speaker 2: About this, think about this in your life. Have you
Speaker 2: ever seen a C average person in your life? A
Speaker 2: black sea average person just go on to do anything
Speaker 2: like super super great, and they'd be like, sea average,
Speaker 2: got me here if you ever know. But if you
Speaker 2: have a sea average, you a white male, you could
Speaker 2: become president of the United States.
Speaker 1: George W. Bush. Yeah, I'm just being honest.
Speaker 3: What it is is absolutely.
Speaker 2: Yes, he went to an Ivy League school, but he
Speaker 2: was a C average student and became president because his
Speaker 2: father was president. Like, come on, man, like, we're not
Speaker 2: going this is all facts. We're not making up stuff.
Speaker 2: It's not an opinion, it's a fact. So nepotism runs
Speaker 2: rampant in America. Do whatever you gotta do, bron Jackson,
Speaker 2: whatever I got going on. When you turn eighteen, trust me,
Speaker 2: you got a job, baby.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 3: And I think it's also about knowing your kids and
Speaker 3: knowing like their interests, Like say, Bronni didn't want to
Speaker 3: do asketball like then, I'm sure they would have found
Speaker 3: a different avenue for him to with their connections succeed
Speaker 3: in that route. So it's like it doesn't always have
Speaker 3: to be the same exact thing that the parent did either.
Speaker 3: That is a fact, you know, I agree with that AnyWho.
Speaker 5: I know we're not talking about finance today, but I
Speaker 5: think the audience always loves to hear y'all talk about money. Okay,
Speaker 5: I feel like what I hear y'all talk about money,
Speaker 5: I walk out of here like, Wow, I'm about to
Speaker 5: have a million dollars. Hasn't happened yet, but I still believe,
Speaker 5: keep the faith. So I just read the Washington Post
Speaker 5: posted an article today that said that Klarna just signed
Speaker 5: a new deal at door Dash. I saw that last
Speaker 5: people can pay for food delivery and for payments.
Speaker 3: That's insane, and it makes.
Speaker 5: Me wonder what do y'all think about these buy now,
Speaker 5: pay later companies like after pay Klarna.
Speaker 6: There's a couple more out there, op or no? Op?
Speaker 3: What's the arp on that? There's no there's no interesting,
Speaker 3: So what's the incentive for someone like a Klarna? You know, Like,
Speaker 3: how do they make their money? It has to be
Speaker 3: like some underlying something, because listen, I understand that the
Speaker 3: price of food. With four children in this house who
Speaker 3: were always hungry, I get why people have to like
Speaker 3: lay away food.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, no op, because I don't
Speaker 2: know enough about the app to have an education opinion, So.
Speaker 1: I don't have one, but go ahead, so you know
Speaker 1: more about it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I've seen people with Klarna, you know, talking
Speaker 3: about you know, the joke is that you know, if
Speaker 3: you're going out and you want to get outfit or
Speaker 3: you're trying to get something designer and you can't afford
Speaker 3: it in the moment, you use Klara to get It's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like layaway now, I feel you.
Speaker 1: What is the like?
Speaker 5: So, the way that Klarna gets paid is they take
Speaker 5: a merchant fee that is a percentage of what it costs.
Speaker 2: So the idea is they get their costs from the merchant.
Speaker 2: They get their money from the merchants.
Speaker 3: Is they already elevating the price anyway?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: So it's like I used to work for groupon back
Speaker 5: in the day, and the thought behind it is they
Speaker 5: feel seats that would normally be empty. If you give
Speaker 5: them a discount, you can make fifty percent of what
Speaker 5: you would normally make instead of zero. So I guess
Speaker 5: that's how they can sell people on using Klarna and
Speaker 5: have to pay merchants rather.
Speaker 1: I should now that I know that. I think it
Speaker 1: makes sense.
Speaker 2: It's like it's another form of group economics, and it's
Speaker 2: what people need to understand. Black people used to do
Speaker 2: this lot back in the day. He used to be
Speaker 2: called the Susu susu.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like we all low money.
Speaker 2: Say we all put in one hundred dollars, so there's
Speaker 2: five of us. So it's Kadeen's week. She gets to
Speaker 2: five hundred dollars. It's a saving savings plan, but she
Speaker 2: gets five hundred dollars to work to have that for
Speaker 2: whatever she wants it for for that week. But then
Speaker 2: the next week she got to put in her hundred
Speaker 2: dollars and that week goes to Josh and he's going,
Speaker 2: I think this is the same thing. Say you don't
Speaker 2: have a group to do a sushu or group economics,
Speaker 2: but you need something in that moment.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll play a premium because I can pay overtime.
Speaker 2: I don't think that that's a bad thing, especially now
Speaker 2: with the tariffs and with you know, we're heading towards
Speaker 2: a recession, people are trying to find ways to survive.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't use it all the time because clearly, since
Speaker 2: you're playing a premium, you're paying probably close to twice
Speaker 2: as much.
Speaker 5: No, there's no there's no interest, there's no fees you
Speaker 5: pay exactly not.
Speaker 1: There has to be a fee you said there is.
Speaker 8: According to GBT, there is. If you use a financing
Speaker 8: has to be a monthly final. If use financing monthly payments,
Speaker 8: interest may be charged depending on the terms of your loan.
Speaker 5: But it's all financing is only used if you're not
Speaker 5: going to pay for it in four payments, which wouldn't
Speaker 5: be for food, smaller purchases. Exactly how much it costs
Speaker 5: you just split the payment over four per gotcha.
Speaker 2: Thing is you said they have a merchant fee, so
Speaker 2: they get the money from the merchant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the merchant is gonna.
Speaker 3: Charge right Karma Karnakna.
Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying is if it's the hot dog
Speaker 2: is ten dollars, the merchant's probably gonna charge twelve dollars, right,
Speaker 2: and then break it.
Speaker 5: Up into That's essentially what they do they're doing door
Speaker 5: Dash is already doing.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So I'm saying this is they're going to find a
Speaker 2: way to get you to spend more money over a
Speaker 2: longer period. Absolutely, but it may be okay for you
Speaker 2: if you don't have twenty dollars in that moment, but
Speaker 2: you got five, Okay, I can have twenty dollars by
Speaker 2: the end of the.
Speaker 3: Way, and you gotta eat it, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I understand it. People trying to make it right.
Speaker 1: I get it right.
Speaker 7: It was people trying to eat So if it helps.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they just they do.
Speaker 2: I have to understand the long term effects, and most
Speaker 2: people don't because most people will be like, oh, I
Speaker 2: could pay five dollars over four payments, so then it's
Speaker 2: just like, oh, it's twenty dollars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the hot dog only costs twelve, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So it's like, you spend the extra eight dollars and
Speaker 2: then people don't realize if you continuously use that now
Speaker 2: doubled your money like I have over the course of
Speaker 2: a year, you'd be like, wait a minute, why did
Speaker 2: I spend so much money on this? Because rather than
Speaker 2: sacrificing and saving. You chose to do it upfront and
Speaker 2: pay more money, and that's how they get you in
Speaker 2: the trap. It's just like a credit card.
Speaker 3: A friend of mine, she was just like, you know,
Speaker 3: talking about her in laws. We're having some financial issues.
Speaker 3: She's like, but my father in law are still going
Speaker 3: to go ahead and get this Gucci shirt on Karna
Speaker 3: because he knows he could pay it off over time.
Speaker 3: It was for his birthday. But I think it's also
Speaker 3: just another avenue for people to continue to spend poorly
Speaker 3: and not invest in the right things. Like food is different.
Speaker 3: It's like I gotta eat out to feed my kids.
Speaker 3: I need groceries. Cool, but like when you're doing it
Speaker 3: for lavish things that you essentially can't afford. Like again,
Speaker 3: the rabbit hole of this is.
Speaker 2: The lesson though, and how they get us because what
Speaker 2: Tripple just pointed out, they say there's no interest rate,
Speaker 2: no APR, so people automatically assume, oh, I'm paying the
Speaker 2: same price for the same products when they don't realize no,
Speaker 2: the interest comes on the back end or the front
Speaker 2: end this time because the product is the product is
Speaker 2: raised two hundred to three hundred percent so that you
Speaker 2: can use it. People probably don't understand that, so hopefully
Speaker 2: somebody listening. Here's that when you pay that on Klarna,
Speaker 2: you paying a premium. You're not paying the cost, which
Speaker 2: is typically with any product, Like you buy a pair
Speaker 2: of Jordan's one hundred dollars, it costs you thirty two
Speaker 2: dollars to make a pair of Jordan's. But when you
Speaker 2: use something like Clarna, you're gonna pay way more that
Speaker 2: people need to understand that before they use it. But
Speaker 2: I don't see anything wrong with it as long as
Speaker 2: you have to understanding.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 5: I don't think poor people should have to not have
Speaker 5: what they want. If you're working, if you're making money,
Speaker 5: if you're paying your b you have a roof over
Speaker 5: your head, you have the essentials. You shouldn't have to
Speaker 5: sacrifice everything. You should be able to do something that
Speaker 5: you enjoy with your money. I agree, and so, but
Speaker 5: a lot of times people who don't make a lot
Speaker 5: of money, they don't have credit, they don't have credit cards.
Speaker 5: They can't, you know, buy something now, pay for it
Speaker 5: later like people with better income and better credit due.
Speaker 5: So I think that Clarina after pay can be a
Speaker 5: good thing for those people, so that they can actually
Speaker 5: buy things that they want without breaking the bank, without
Speaker 5: having to sacrifice paying a bill.
Speaker 2: But how important is the things that you want if
Speaker 2: you're not where you need to be in life?
Speaker 6: Joy is important as hell.
Speaker 5: And I'm not saying going out to spend all of
Speaker 5: your money on things that you want, but you should
Speaker 5: be able to buy yourself something once a month if
Speaker 5: you're working.
Speaker 1: Not if you can't afford it.
Speaker 2: I spent four years of not buying anything, not going
Speaker 2: This is a fact. When we was going through our hustle.
Speaker 2: There was no design to close, there was no bags,
Speaker 2: there was no Jordan's. I wore the same T shirts
Speaker 2: every day. You can't go on no vacations. And I
Speaker 2: think that's a bigger lesson for people. Is joy is fleeting,
Speaker 2: That's life? Sure, so is life life. Life is fleeting.
Speaker 6: That's my thing.
Speaker 5: Like, if I've spent four years waiting to enjoy my life,
Speaker 5: who knows where I'm gonna be four years from now,
Speaker 5: I might not even be able to enjoy my life.
Speaker 6: And for me it's a personal thing.
Speaker 5: I watched my sister get sick at twenty one years
Speaker 5: old and not be able to walk and not be
Speaker 5: able to take care of herself and die when she
Speaker 5: was forty.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is different.
Speaker 2: I do joy is important in life and life is fleeting. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I just I think we as people need to do
Speaker 2: what's important to us. That's why I can't take away
Speaker 2: your perspective of how you feel, like because you've.
Speaker 1: Seen someone close to you die at a young age.
Speaker 2: So when you tell people you have time, that's kind
Speaker 2: of like nah, So I.
Speaker 3: Get that's me trying to even just get you to
Speaker 3: enjoy like the winds in the moment and not just
Speaker 3: thinking about what's next next, you know, or how we
Speaker 3: can elevate and do more. It's like, here's a winning moment,
Speaker 3: sit in it and absorb it and be grateful in
Speaker 3: the moment. You know.
Speaker 1: That's true. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 5: But yeah, there's two It's two sides to the same
Speaker 5: coin pretty much, because you gotta you gotta be responsible,
Speaker 5: but you also all right, So one more topic that's
Speaker 5: going to lead into what we're talking about today. Uh,
Speaker 5: there's a woman I follow on Instagram. Her name is
Speaker 5: sand Bovel. She like works in AI and recently she
Speaker 5: was speaking at some kind of conference where She said,
Speaker 5: we need to stop preparing kids for jobs because jobs
Speaker 5: are going to change, and I guess, as somebody that's
Speaker 5: working in AI, that's something that you know firsthand.
Speaker 6: She said. Instead, we need to prepare them for.
Speaker 5: The problems they want to solve and how to be
Speaker 5: better participants in the world.
Speaker 1: I agree. I have a strong opinion on this.
Speaker 2: I agree people get afraid of technology but don't realize
Speaker 2: that technology has always evolved. For example, back in the
Speaker 2: seventeen hundreds eighteen hundreds, right when everyone was trying to
Speaker 2: figure out the cotton gin because cotton was the biggest
Speaker 2: thing that made America a world power.
Speaker 1: If they told all kids.
Speaker 2: At that time, all you need to focus on the
Speaker 2: rest of your life is how to work with cotton gin,
Speaker 2: where would we be.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. But instead, let's work on innovation.
Speaker 2: Let's work on growth, like our kids are not going
Speaker 2: to have to worry about mainframing and doing things that
Speaker 2: Like my father did you know zero one zero one
Speaker 2: when it comes to programming a computer? Then I did that.
Speaker 2: So let them focus on artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence to
Speaker 2: me is not the bad guy. You know, and I
Speaker 2: know being in the TV industry, people just like, well,
Speaker 2: what about them using artificial intelligence for actors. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: take you guys back to a little bit of time,
Speaker 2: right back in the day when it was just theaters.
Speaker 2: Destians were considered people who were in the theater. And
Speaker 2: then you know what happened. Cameras came out and people
Speaker 2: started to film theaters, and they they used to these
Speaker 2: penny movies. Right, people don't notice a penny movie where
Speaker 2: somebody would come with a camera and they would film
Speaker 2: the theater and then for a penny you could go
Speaker 2: watch it and the little thing watch it. And people
Speaker 2: at that time were upset. Was like, no one's gonna
Speaker 2: come to the theater anymore if they can continue to
Speaker 2: watch these little penny movies. And then penny movies became movies,
Speaker 2: and then radio, then television and now streaming.
Speaker 1: It's like there's always going to be a new technology.
Speaker 2: We as people have to stop running from technology and
Speaker 2: understand that these advancements can be good for us if
Speaker 2: we learn them.
Speaker 1: So our kids should learn that, that's my opinion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So not be preparing for jobs per se.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't be prepared to just have a job like
Speaker 2: that's but that's also what's wrong with society.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: We put so much.
Speaker 2: Emphasis, an emphasis on what somebody does as an occupation
Speaker 2: that defines people. Right the first thing you meet someone, right,
Speaker 2: you don't ask them, you know what I'm saying, You're healthy,
Speaker 2: you know what's your life?
Speaker 3: Use that what you do? What you do the first
Speaker 3: thing the conversation starter.
Speaker 2: And then people start talking about how much money they make,
Speaker 2: what their job is, and then you're like, damn, but
Speaker 2: you have a whole other life that you don't even
Speaker 2: talk about. Right, So I think we should stop preparing
Speaker 2: kids to feel a way about their job.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know people who are no longer children,
Speaker 3: they're in their thirties and still don't know what job
Speaker 3: they want to do, you.
Speaker 6: Know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: So it's like preparing kids solely for one particular job
Speaker 3: or one particular lane. I think is insane. I think
Speaker 3: the fact that you even have to think of what
Speaker 3: you want to do for the rest of your life
Speaker 3: at seventeen and eighteen years old as you approach college
Speaker 3: is insanity. Because I've changed my mind about fifty eleven
Speaker 3: times at this point, I want forty one. Just finding
Speaker 3: my way.
Speaker 9: Pediatrician, pediatrician, lawyer of doctor, you know, nurse all what
Speaker 9: pressure is from like my family about what I should
Speaker 9: and shouldn't do, and pressures up on myself.
Speaker 3: So I'm my opinion is, yeah, I completely agree with her.
Speaker 3: I don't think that we should be preparing children for
Speaker 3: jobs per se. Prepare them to be good human beings,
Speaker 3: Prepare them to seek happiness, Prepare them to be global
Speaker 3: cities and to travel the world and just see things
Speaker 3: and be exposed to different cultures. Like that's what we're about.
Speaker 3: Like you know how many times I've teered on the
Speaker 3: maybe we should just be homeschooling our children and like
Speaker 3: backpacking around the world so that they can experience other cultures. Like, man,
Speaker 3: that's what I think is important. This whole nine to
Speaker 3: five I forgot when I think I recently read an
Speaker 3: article about when the nine to five was like enacted
Speaker 3: in culture, but it wasn't always a thing. Like you
Speaker 3: go to other cultures and they're not doing nine to five.
Speaker 3: It's like they'll work for a little bit and they'll
Speaker 3: have their afternoon tea. People go home for a nap,
Speaker 3: then you wake up again, you come back and you
Speaker 3: have your little business over for four hours, Like only
Speaker 3: in America do you do this.
Speaker 1: It became a nine to five thing to ensure production.
Speaker 2: I think people don't understand that about the the what
Speaker 2: is it called capital industrial complex yep, Like the nine
Speaker 2: to five was a place where all of the employers
Speaker 2: was like, we need all of our people who do
Speaker 2: our job to come to one central location. You're gonna
Speaker 2: put hours on them. They have to clock in and
Speaker 2: clock out right and get shit done right. And then
Speaker 2: it changed a little bit over the last couple of
Speaker 2: years with the pandemic and people were like, oh, we
Speaker 2: can work more from home. And now people are opening
Speaker 2: up their mind to the fact like wait a minute,
Speaker 2: I didn't have to go into that office because think
Speaker 2: about it. If you work somewhere and it's an hour
Speaker 2: and a half commute, and then you work from nine
Speaker 2: to five, then it's an hour and a half commute home,
Speaker 2: you're ultimately spending eleven hours of your day focused on
Speaker 2: the job, building someone else's dream.
Speaker 3: That was for me at Matt Cosmetics. You remember driving
Speaker 3: to Roosevelt Field Moore working a nine to ten hour
Speaker 3: shift and then having a drive having no life outside
Speaker 3: of that. Yeah, so what y'all think.
Speaker 4: What was your question?
Speaker 1: No, she was still about they were saying that they're
Speaker 1: saying we should no.
Speaker 3: Longer for job.
Speaker 1: There is just for jobs.
Speaker 8: So for me, I think it's more about raising children
Speaker 8: to be creative thinkers, to be tech savvy, to not
Speaker 8: necessarily think about jobs. So my opinion would be one
Speaker 8: the same line as y'all was like, Yeah, there's no
Speaker 8: need to be raising children to be like I'm gonna
Speaker 8: be a doctor today because the reality is that most
Speaker 8: of the jobs that are that we currently understand as
Speaker 8: as as earning.
Speaker 1: Jobs, will be gone absolutely right.
Speaker 8: We already automation happening in auto auto industry, UH tech
Speaker 8: industry up. That's that's the same thing is going to
Speaker 8: be happening for the medical field, robotics and and AI
Speaker 8: taking over. So raising creative thinkers, sneers, people who can
Speaker 8: or children who can ah create jobs based on their
Speaker 8: own interest or the needs of society, I'm glad that's
Speaker 8: probably the best route to take as opposed to uh,
Speaker 8: jobs that are that started during the industrial period or
Speaker 8: jobs that started when we needed to build America as
Speaker 8: a as a country.
Speaker 4: It's now innovation.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm glad you brought this up trouble because
Speaker 2: I have a very unique thought and I want to
Speaker 2: hear what I have to say after go ahead, Man.
Speaker 10: I agree with y'all.
Speaker 7: But at the same time, I'm also like, I just
Speaker 7: thought of it was like, no, we need some of
Speaker 7: these jobs. We need some of these parents to push
Speaker 7: people to these jobs because some of some doctors only
Speaker 7: became doctors and became great doctors because our parents pushed
Speaker 7: them to be that. We might not have a lot
Speaker 7: of pros in specialists in these areas if people not.
Speaker 10: Push to those areas.
Speaker 1: That is a fact.
Speaker 10: That's the only thing I'm thinking about.
Speaker 2: That is a fact because if everybody goosey like I
Speaker 2: be creative today, I'm Gonnawitch'm gonna do something else.
Speaker 10: But we need somebody who's going to dedicate to this.
Speaker 8: We're always civity can happen in the same field itself.
Speaker 10: I agree.
Speaker 7: I'm just thinking about the standpoint of your I'm saying,
Speaker 7: as parents raising kids, we can still guide them towards something.
Speaker 8: Yet, creator helmet I got you, do not gear your kids.
Speaker 1: To do not gear them to do that.
Speaker 2: That happens organically when they find something they want to do.
Speaker 2: But if you gear your kids towards being a content creator,
Speaker 2: they're going to be a worse content trust me.
Speaker 8: And that's not going to be a job in ten years.
Speaker 3: It's not It wasn't a job ten years ago.
Speaker 1: It's not tribute.
Speaker 6: Would you think trip, Yeah, I think yeah.
Speaker 5: Teaching kids how to solve problems, making kids aware about
Speaker 5: what the problems are in the world so that they can,
Speaker 5: you know, either be interested or not interested in figuring
Speaker 5: out a solution, and letting them, you know, develop their own.
Speaker 6: Career based on that.
Speaker 5: Also, I feel like supporting kids in the interest that
Speaker 5: they show and their talents as they're growing is super
Speaker 5: helpful as well, because even within certain industries, there's more
Speaker 5: jobs than what kids know or even parents know are available.
Speaker 5: Like as a child, I wanted to be an actor
Speaker 5: and a singer. My first career day I went as
Speaker 5: a superstar, a movie star actually, But I didn't learn
Speaker 5: until after I graduated college with a business degree that
Speaker 5: I could be a producer or I could be, you know,
Speaker 5: something else in the industry that wasn't necessarily a performer.
Speaker 5: And if I would have known that before, I probably
Speaker 5: could have honed some of the skills that I was
Speaker 5: teaching myself or went to college to learn some of
Speaker 5: those skills professionally and not have taken like five years
Speaker 5: to figure to figure it out.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: But also I think a problem that we do have
Speaker 5: that some kids should be encouraged to try to solve
Speaker 5: is like, we're about to run out of electricians, We're
Speaker 5: about to deny have enough plumbers. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 5: I'm saying. Everybody wants to do something fancy.
Speaker 2: We was just talking to the young man that was
Speaker 2: in the houses. You see all the work was done.
Speaker 2: There was a young man shout out to mister James.
Speaker 2: He brought a young man, Colin by the house. Colin
Speaker 2: was fourteen. Wow, and he was here the middle of today.
Speaker 2: So me and Matt was like, Yo, this is impressive
Speaker 2: that you have a young man in the middle of
Speaker 2: the day learning about a trade. And then he was
Speaker 2: just like he was my mother is a real estate agent.
Speaker 2: She always needs work.
Speaker 1: Done on the house. So I'm gonna learn how to
Speaker 1: do this.
Speaker 2: But that also goes to what Matt was saying and
Speaker 2: what Josh was saying. He had to be here because
Speaker 2: the people in his life told him, you need a mentor,
Speaker 2: so they forced him to do something, which is what
Speaker 2: Matt was saying. What Josh was saying is he realized
Speaker 2: that his mom sells houses, but they need people all
Speaker 2: the time to fix electricity and plums. So he figured
Speaker 2: out that he wanted to focus on that. This is
Speaker 2: gonna bring me to the legacy you build for your
Speaker 2: kids outside of finances.
Speaker 1: Right. I said to k about a year ago, Canini
Speaker 1: is gonna sound crazy.
Speaker 3: But everything sounds crazy. He prefaces everything by saying, I
Speaker 3: know I'm gonna sound crazy, but I'm like, what.
Speaker 1: I do know?
Speaker 2: But what if our kids never worked, and what if
Speaker 2: we never put on them?
Speaker 1: You have to go work for somebody.
Speaker 2: For example, I'm confident that we are going to be
Speaker 2: worth over nine figures. Right, So in that case, do
Speaker 2: I have to go out there and tell my son,
Speaker 2: y'all gotta gotta go out there and get more money.
Speaker 1: No, I don't have to.
Speaker 2: But what I can tell him is, like what you said, trouble.
Speaker 2: There are problems going on in the world you think
Speaker 2: you want to solve. Son, Take the money that you've
Speaker 2: already accrued, we've accrued as a family, build something, create
Speaker 2: something that's gonna help solve that. I watch Will Smith's
Speaker 2: son Jaden. He's focused on hydrating the planet and he
Speaker 2: came up with this just that's his thing. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's so dope that people don't even put And I
Speaker 2: see some comments people like, look, rich kids get to
Speaker 2: do whatever they want to do, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: here's a rich kid who can do whatever he wants
Speaker 2: to do. So rather than go out there and take
Speaker 2: every role because he's Will Smith's son, he's choosing to
Speaker 2: take his money and invest in something that's gonna help
Speaker 2: people in the planet.
Speaker 3: That's a great point.
Speaker 1: And I said to Kay, I was like, what if
Speaker 1: our kids do that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not gonna sit here and tell Jackson, like,
Speaker 2: well you better be a fifth a first round I'm
Speaker 2: picking win super Bowl.
Speaker 3: No that.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, man, what do you
Speaker 1: want to do.
Speaker 2: I want to be a humanitarian, you know, I want
Speaker 2: to I want to build some I want to get
Speaker 2: some land in Africa and I want to build this
Speaker 2: and I want to do that. I'm gonna be like
Speaker 2: fuck yeah, because at this point, your occupation does nothing
Speaker 2: to us as humans.
Speaker 3: I mean, why do we have occupations to make money.
Speaker 3: Why do we have jobs to make money? So it's like,
Speaker 3: if you now have built the legacy financially for your
Speaker 3: children to be able to then impact the world and
Speaker 3: the way they see, yes, then it's like why not.
Speaker 3: That was the whole point of it anyway.
Speaker 7: Now that's what you're working and building towards to give
Speaker 7: them that free to go and be a productive member
Speaker 7: of society.
Speaker 3: Yes. Now, I'm gonna tell you something, right, it's when
Speaker 3: they piss it away then that's the problem.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you something crazy, right. Had this conversation
Speaker 2: amongst some of my cast members. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: say with casts, but they of course were women, and
Speaker 2: they were like, I don't know if I met a
Speaker 2: dude who have money who just wanted to save the
Speaker 2: world that, I don't know if I could marry a
Speaker 2: dude like that. And I said, you see, that's the
Speaker 2: mindset we were brought up. We were all brought up
Speaker 2: that your occupation defines.
Speaker 1: You as a person. And the minute I say he
Speaker 1: doesn't work, but he's doing, you automatically.
Speaker 2: Went to he's not working because he's lazy or he
Speaker 2: doesn't have no And they were just like, oh, I
Speaker 2: didn't realize.
Speaker 1: That, I said, but we all do that because for
Speaker 1: I was pushing Jackson for that same reason. You ain't
Speaker 1: going to be a lazy man. You got to get
Speaker 1: a job. You gotta work this many hours, you gotta
Speaker 1: do this.
Speaker 2: And then over the last couple of months, when I
Speaker 2: wasn't working as much and I realized how much effort
Speaker 2: and energy I need to put into my kids, I'm like, Yo,
Speaker 2: what if I stop chasing dollars. Okay, we make money.
Speaker 2: What if I stop chasing dollars and focused on how
Speaker 2: I could be a better human? Shouldn't more people do that?
Speaker 2: And that, to me is what's important about legacy because legacy,
Speaker 2: even with Hove and b people give them the legacy
Speaker 2: card because they made a lot of money. But there
Speaker 2: are people who have legacies who are not rich financially,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: There are families who have done things in the world
Speaker 1: that have changed the entire world that people have never
Speaker 1: heard about. Look at our.
Speaker 2: Shirvy y Roff's kids. Yes, there is a process now
Speaker 2: of starting their stardom. I know her son just got
Speaker 2: a role in a in a Christmas.
Speaker 1: And they're doing that on the side. Their main thing is.
Speaker 3: Yeah that is like yo, yeah, shout out to and Ivy.
Speaker 3: We had them on last season.
Speaker 2: I think we've reached a point in our lives black
Speaker 2: people where we're no longer the first generation to do stuff.
Speaker 2: My father went to college. Okay, he got his associates degree.
Speaker 2: My mom didn't get her bachelor's degree. But I can't
Speaker 2: sit here and say I'm the first lst that is
Speaker 2: something my parents have done things. Absolutely a situation where
Speaker 2: my life is way easier. Absolutely, I understand my privilege
Speaker 2: having both my parents and them there's stilling this in me.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, let's let's move it forward.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like my story, my legacy
Speaker 1: don't got to be I came from the gut that
Speaker 1: got shot. You know, I sold drugs. That's not every
Speaker 1: person's story story. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: My legacy is going to be I had a really
Speaker 2: good father who also had a really good father to
Speaker 2: be a really good father. And I have a really
Speaker 2: good wife because my father had a really good wife
Speaker 2: and his father had a really good wife.
Speaker 1: And legacy to me is passing one of those things.
Speaker 3: I just money, Yeah, that's why I mentioned culture and
Speaker 3: heritage in my SoundBite when we first opened the show,
Speaker 3: because I look at, like I said, when I went
Speaker 3: back home to my dad's country and my mom's country,
Speaker 3: is like seeing where they've come from and the strides
Speaker 3: that they were able to make coming over here at
Speaker 3: what seventeen and nineteen years old and working at Burger
Speaker 3: King and building you know, her life up my mom
Speaker 3: and becoming a nurse, and then being able to give
Speaker 3: us my brother, my sister, and I the opportunities to
Speaker 3: be able to essentially do whatever it is that we wanted.
Speaker 3: Like that was the one thing that my mom has
Speaker 3: always said to us. She's like, I worked so hard
Speaker 3: to ensure that you guys can do the things that
Speaker 3: you want to do, and that's a fact, not the
Speaker 3: things that you necessarily had to do. Because that was me.
Speaker 1: That's a legacy.
Speaker 3: That's a legacy, you know. And then when I look
Speaker 3: at my kids now, Like the other day, I was
Speaker 3: on the car with Cairo. We were going to a
Speaker 3: birthday party and he was like, Mom, can I DJ?
Speaker 3: So I was like, all right, cool, my boy has
Speaker 3: the most extensive, you know, taste in music. On an
Speaker 3: hour long car ride, we went from a little.
Speaker 1: Rat so it was a little baby, little baby.
Speaker 3: Little baby to pops. You go to pop smoke, this
Speaker 3: is Cairo. Right then we jumped over to some worship music.
Speaker 10: What does this sound like? By the way, I just
Speaker 10: want you to because you know who it is.
Speaker 3: Who my brother true?
Speaker 5: You know what that is.
Speaker 1: Watching that Chosen the same person.
Speaker 2: God ain't real. The pyramids was created by aliens. Then
Speaker 2: in the next day will be like I just watched.
Speaker 1: Chosen and I believe everything I think about the goodness
Speaker 1: of God.
Speaker 3: But yeah, but it was Cairo. So it's like he's listen.
Speaker 3: We're listening to worship music the goodness of God and everything.
Speaker 3: And then we go to a little Bob Marley and
Speaker 3: I'm was like wow, And I said to him, I said,
Speaker 3: you know what, Cairo, I said, I appreciate your taste
Speaker 3: in music, I said, We've been on a journey, I said,
Speaker 3: but I feel like we need to start playing some
Speaker 3: more music from like Mimi and Papa's country because I
Speaker 3: feel like my legacy, who are my children? But they
Speaker 3: can't die with me? Like they need to hear some
Speaker 3: bearists come on and be like, oh, like that's the tune.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. That's how we grew up.
Speaker 3: So it's like now just like playing more music in
Speaker 3: the house and then taking them places and experiencing different cultures,
Speaker 3: not just where we're from. Culture, culture, heritage is like.
Speaker 2: When we came over on the Middle past, absolutely all
Speaker 2: of our culture and heritage were taken from us. So
Speaker 2: that's a good point if you can keep that alive
Speaker 2: with the younger kids teaching history, especially history in.
Speaker 1: The world that is always whitewiseh Absolutely they're trying to.
Speaker 3: Take away from us. Yeah, So that's that's a portion
Speaker 3: of legacy that's not money related, that I think is
Speaker 3: so rich for us and our families moving forward.
Speaker 2: I didn't even think about that because your family but
Speaker 2: us from immigrants. You know, both your mom and your
Speaker 2: dad came over here at a young age, so I
Speaker 2: didn't realize how important that was to you.
Speaker 1: But not hearing it, it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because our kids won't only be able to say
Speaker 2: I'm American.
Speaker 1: Yeah, their family, their lineage, their heritage.
Speaker 3: Goes way way beyond it.
Speaker 2: I think we all as as black people, need to
Speaker 2: start doing more lineage to find out where we came from.
Speaker 2: Like our story doesn't start here in sixteen nineteen, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, Like our story starts way before that.
Speaker 2: And I think it's important that we use the knowledge
Speaker 2: we have to continue to push that forward.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, absolutely, so we can open up the legacy conversation
Speaker 3: round table if anybody else has in two sense that
Speaker 3: they want to add to this legacy.
Speaker 2: I do have or like because I wonder, like Matt,
Speaker 2: you don't have any kids yet, Trible, you don't have
Speaker 2: any kids yet? Do y'all think about how? Because me,
Speaker 2: Josh and Kay have kids, we know what it's like
Speaker 2: when you wake up. Do you think about like, I'm
Speaker 2: going to do this is from my child when? Or
Speaker 2: is it just like I'm only focusing on my personal
Speaker 2: legacy right now?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I used to think about it when I wasn't when
Speaker 5: I didn't think I was too old to have kids.
Speaker 6: You think, I do you do?
Speaker 1: You're not too old.
Speaker 3: You're not too old at all. So can help you
Speaker 3: too if you need help.
Speaker 6: Okay, thank you so much.
Speaker 11: I know a lot of guys that want to help
Speaker 11: you too. I don't know if you want that kind
Speaker 11: of help, but there's a lot of guys that's watching
Speaker 11: right now and be like, please practice what it takes
Speaker 11: to get there.
Speaker 1: Time on my page, They're like, whoa, I know you
Speaker 1: had a sister. How did you get here? You just
Speaker 1: want to know?
Speaker 6: You just want to know something, right. That is so funny.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I do think about that a lot, because, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I think my parents did the best they could with
Speaker 5: what they have. You know, they have barely you know, college,
Speaker 5: They worked and survived and and scarcity, and I had
Speaker 5: the best of what they had to give.
Speaker 6: I think the child. Yeah, And so.
Speaker 5: I think that if I do have kids, that I
Speaker 5: could give them more than that because I've learned so
Speaker 5: much even from from what I have and from what
Speaker 5: I don't have.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I think about that all the time.
Speaker 10: Yeah. For me, I absolutely think about it.
Speaker 7: I try to take steps from right now in my
Speaker 7: career path so that I could try to set up
Speaker 7: places for the future so I can, like even with.
Speaker 1: My art, yeah, talk about it. So I want to
Speaker 1: talk about.
Speaker 7: I want to be able to have an extensive gallery
Speaker 7: that even if I'm going my kids can have that
Speaker 7: and pass that down. It can a crewe wealth for them.
Speaker 7: I have a freedom for them. I think about that
Speaker 7: from now.
Speaker 2: See, one thing I noticed from everyone here is the
Speaker 2: freedom m right, Like, it's not just accruing wealth to
Speaker 2: say I have money, it's one wealth to give my
Speaker 2: kids freedom to do whatever they want to do as
Speaker 2: young black kids on this planet. That's just the bottom line.
Speaker 2: We haven't experienced that. I haven't experienced that in my lifetime.
Speaker 2: But it would be good like to be able to
Speaker 2: be like Jack's what do.
Speaker 1: You want to do? Go ahead, walk free. We talk
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: All the time, to be able to walk free, to
Speaker 2: walk free. But there's one thing you did bring up
Speaker 2: that's important. You can't get freedom without capitalism in this world.
Speaker 2: It's impossible. And the only way you can get some
Speaker 2: sort of freedom is if you completely go off the
Speaker 2: grid and be like, I'm not buying in at all
Speaker 2: to any of these things. But at some point you're
Speaker 2: going to get your point where you're going to need
Speaker 2: something or someone who is in this I forget that
Speaker 2: this is capital industrial complex or is the capitalist industrial complex.
Speaker 2: At some point your life is going to cross there,
Speaker 2: and we can't ignore that and say that finances don't matter.
Speaker 3: It don't matter exactly. To wrap it up, I guess
Speaker 3: one question Triuble had here. I guess this could be
Speaker 3: for me and you and Josh. What scares you about
Speaker 3: how your kids may turn out? Interesting already? Yeah, right, exactly.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest. Nothing scares me because I know
Speaker 2: my kids are not. I am involved in my kids life.
Speaker 2: I'm never gonna say the TV, the iPad of this.
Speaker 2: My kids are going to hear my perspective now that
Speaker 2: I'm saying it. I am afraid. I'm afraid that I
Speaker 2: was wrong about something.
Speaker 3: Like this. You're afraid that you were wrong about something
Speaker 3: you taught now.
Speaker 2: Like for example, I've always been this is the question
Speaker 2: I always ask my dad, and I used to cry,
Speaker 2: ask in this what if we're all wrong about Christianity?
Speaker 1: He was like, what you mean?
Speaker 2: I said, you told me, based on the Bible that
Speaker 2: I have to believe in Christ, and I have to
Speaker 2: believe in God, and I have to do all these
Speaker 2: things to go to heaven. Right, But there's thousands of
Speaker 2: other religions that are contradictory to Christianity, which means somebody's right,
Speaker 2: somebody's wrong.
Speaker 1: What if we're wrong?
Speaker 2: And that's my only fear is that everything I believed
Speaker 2: or thought or was working on towards building my family
Speaker 2: is wrong, and now I've indoctrinated into my sons a
Speaker 2: wrong belief system, which is why I'm pretty deep into
Speaker 2: listening because I never want to be that guy that's
Speaker 2: just like, only think one way right.
Speaker 1: So that's my fear now that I've said it out loud.
Speaker 2: My only fear is being wrong about what I thought
Speaker 2: and teaching my kids that I want them to be
Speaker 2: open minded to listen.
Speaker 3: But I think with your intent and your heart and
Speaker 3: the things that you know deep down, it's like, no,
Speaker 3: I have only the best intention for my children. That
Speaker 3: I don't feel like you about.
Speaker 1: That intent versus impact.
Speaker 2: You can intend to do something and if it don't
Speaker 2: land properly, if impact that person in the.
Speaker 3: Wrong way, they could negatively impact them.
Speaker 2: There are tons of older white people now our age
Speaker 2: who grew up during the time where their parents believe
Speaker 2: that slavery or their grandparents believe that slavery was okay,
Speaker 2: and they evendoctrinated into these young white kids that mindset,
Speaker 2: that mindset, and now they're older realized, like, yo, our
Speaker 2: grandparents was wrong.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: What happens if you don't get that realization before it's
Speaker 2: too late. Maybe you've done some things in that you die.
Speaker 2: Now you got to meet your maker, and now your
Speaker 2: maker tells you all these things you did in life
Speaker 2: were wrong. Yeah, you follow them. That's my biggest fear
Speaker 2: is that I might have led my kids. That's why
Speaker 2: when my kids bring me questions like I used to
Speaker 2: bring my parents, shun them or shame them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I say, where did you get that thought process?
Speaker 1: Let's discuss this together.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's a lot of that happening as they
Speaker 3: get older. And I think maybe because we have the
Speaker 3: open door policy with them where they feel so comfortable
Speaker 3: coming to talk to us about stuff. It's like, okay,
Speaker 3: we ask questions and they give us honest answers. At
Speaker 3: the end of twenty twenty four, we were like, all right,
Speaker 3: what do you guys want to learn more about or
Speaker 3: do more? In twenty twenty five, Cairo was like, I know,
Speaker 3: and what was the first thing? He said?
Speaker 1: You want to learn about God?
Speaker 3: More about God?
Speaker 1: He asked me literally, so he.
Speaker 2: Asked me, was just like that, where did God come from?
Speaker 2: And I was just like, well, said you ask your
Speaker 2: papa school because my father's a deacon. Know he's been
Speaker 2: to these classes and learned some of these things. He
Speaker 2: was just like, no, I asked pop the school, but
Speaker 2: I figured you, I'd ask you. You know everything, man,
Speaker 2: when I tell you the pressure to try to answer
Speaker 2: this question.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was.
Speaker 3: I was. Well.
Speaker 2: The first thing I said was, you know, God is
Speaker 2: a concept. He's like, what does that mean. I was
Speaker 2: just like, well, there's no proof. We have to believe
Speaker 2: and have faith, and you know, you show your faith
Speaker 2: in God through your works and what you doing in humanity.
Speaker 2: And an eight years old he was just like, that
Speaker 2: don't make no sense. And that's when I started to
Speaker 2: get scared, because I'm like, how do you explain to
Speaker 2: an eight year old the concept of God and faith?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: Because as a kid, I.
Speaker 7: Literally remember sitting in my front room as a kid
Speaker 7: and one day, you know how, they said, just gonna
Speaker 7: come back on the cloud one cloud.
Speaker 10: Yes, I remember it was one cloud on the sideway.
Speaker 10: I think trumpets might go off to this. I had
Speaker 10: no man knows the time, no doubt.
Speaker 3: And I'm saying right, and I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 3: to hear the thunder and I don't start rising.
Speaker 1: A funny story.
Speaker 2: Y'all know about the rapture, right, yeah, you know about
Speaker 2: the rapture trouble, so I for whoever does know the rapture.
Speaker 2: The rapture is the idea that God is gonna come
Speaker 2: back and he's gonna take all of his people who
Speaker 2: believed in him with him to heaven, and everyone else
Speaker 2: here is gonna stay here. The world is going to collapse,
Speaker 2: and then when they died, they'll be stuck in purgatory.
Speaker 2: So I remember waking up at my nana's house and
Speaker 2: all of my parents, aunts and uncles had all left.
Speaker 1: We would all get together for like a family reunion,
Speaker 1: but our.
Speaker 2: Parents would do stuff like we all go to sleep
Speaker 2: at night and then you wake up in the morning
Speaker 2: and they be gone because they don't want to do
Speaker 2: the big goodbyes, you know, we all young kids. I
Speaker 2: remember bawling my eyes out because I thought the rapture
Speaker 2: happened and they were all gone, and they left and
Speaker 2: all the kids got left here, and I remember thinking
Speaker 2: to myself, what.
Speaker 12: Am I gonna do?
Speaker 1: My parents are gone, I'm gonna be in purgatory. No
Speaker 1: idea what purgatory was.
Speaker 2: But you know, you go to church at a young
Speaker 2: age and you see the cross up there and yeah
Speaker 2: this you do this, you go to hell.
Speaker 1: You do this, you go to hell.
Speaker 10: You sit that one person's going to be in the bed,
Speaker 10: the other person's going to be gone. Bro, you wonder
Speaker 10: what happened?
Speaker 1: So I understand how I literally woke up.
Speaker 2: And it didn't help that they had a rapture playing
Speaker 2: in my church. So I watched the Rapture play and
Speaker 2: I watched them do like the fake disaster scenes, by
Speaker 2: the way, would be a really good movie, like the
Speaker 2: Rapture movie where the guy comes down and takes away
Speaker 2: one third of the people.
Speaker 4: They have a few of them they do.
Speaker 1: Are they good?
Speaker 4: I haven't seen them in years, but there's a few that.
Speaker 2: With technology where it is now, could you imagine it
Speaker 2: would be like the end of the Earth means a
Speaker 2: couple of those would be like the show Paradise, Yeah,
Speaker 2: where you got to start over and figure it out right, watching.
Speaker 3: Everything and whatnot. This is the show the chosen. Cairo
Speaker 3: was like, I want to watch that when we have
Speaker 3: our date day or day night is yeah, and that's
Speaker 3: the one.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I was like okay, So he really wanting to
Speaker 3: know about the that's now I have a responsibility to
Speaker 3: make sure that my boy is learning more about God.
Speaker 3: So you know, it's also helpful that they're in a
Speaker 3: Christian school, so they're getting a good foundation, and then
Speaker 3: we just have to kind of nurture that outside of it.
Speaker 2: So I think that's important too when we talk about
Speaker 2: what we passed down to our kids. Legacy wise, it's
Speaker 2: a spiritual foundation. Is if you don't have a spiritual foundation,
Speaker 2: you can be really lost out here. I think, imagine
Speaker 2: if you don't believe in anything or anyone or any
Speaker 2: idea that there is better for you if you work
Speaker 2: towards it, and you out here, you eighteen and you
Speaker 2: randomly lose your job because they decide to downsize. Now
Speaker 2: you just my job was everything, that's who I am,
Speaker 2: and now I don't have my job, and then people
Speaker 2: go nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So passing legacy is passing down a spiritual foundation.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. I think the only thing that scares me about
Speaker 3: the kids or how they might turn out is just
Speaker 3: the world around them, like everybody else. My mom used
Speaker 3: to say it all the time. She's like, I don't
Speaker 3: worry about you, worry about them. Everybody else the world.
Speaker 3: That's what I worry about, And I'm like, I freaking
Speaker 3: understand it now. It's like, but so much we can
Speaker 3: do as parents in a controlled environment that's just that
Speaker 3: is our house. But the many you leave those doors,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm already erect thinking about Jackson being in
Speaker 3: college without me, Like I just it's the world, it's
Speaker 3: everything else, it's all the other elements that just scare me.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you something that y'all gonna think this
Speaker 2: is funny, But I don't think it's funny. I think
Speaker 2: the world is better now than it it's ever been.
Speaker 2: Think about it. We've come from world wars, apartheid, genocide, slavery, right,
Speaker 2: think about all of those things that happened, right that
Speaker 2: those are the worst atrocities that happen.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, they're happening in other parts of the world
Speaker 3: now still.
Speaker 2: But I'm talking about where we are, our our world.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that America is a perfect place. But
Speaker 2: what I'm saying is we are learning as a people
Speaker 2: from history, and people are trying now not to duplicate
Speaker 2: the same things that's happened in the past. I think
Speaker 2: part of the problem is social media has put us
Speaker 2: to the point where anything negative that happens goes on
Speaker 2: social media and it gets sensationalized. Could you imagine if
Speaker 2: social media existed during slavery? How bad the world would
Speaker 2: have looked. Could you imagine if social media existed during
Speaker 2: World War One? Could you imagine if social media existed
Speaker 2: when Leopold was in Africa killing eighteen million, twenty million Africans.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. It's like where we are
Speaker 1: relative to where the world was in that moment, it's
Speaker 1: nowhere near us. Gruesome.
Speaker 2: Think about the Crusades, right, the Christian Crusades. They were
Speaker 2: just going around killing millions of people in the name
Speaker 2: of God.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: The world isn't as bad as it was then, but
Speaker 2: we're living in and now when we get to watch
Speaker 2: in a real time so and the reason why I
Speaker 2: say that's not to say that I think the world's
Speaker 2: in a good place. It's really just to say, we
Speaker 2: have a responsibility to teach our kids to be better.
Speaker 1: Agreed, you know what I'm saying. And if we teach
Speaker 1: them to be better, all of us the world will
Speaker 1: be better.
Speaker 3: That's ultimate topic. Yeah, Yeah, as we round out this
Speaker 3: before we pay some bills. The last thing that came
Speaker 3: to mind for me was this past Christmas. Jackson wrote
Speaker 3: a letter to de Valini for Christmas, and it was
Speaker 3: a three page letter that he wrote. I think it
Speaker 3: was like after his Bible clash or something. But guys
Speaker 3: like Devalini sobbed when we read this letter because it
Speaker 3: wasn't only just you know, me being a grammar police,
Speaker 3: the way it was constructed, the way his thoughts were
Speaker 3: so like put together, and then the way he expressed
Speaker 3: his understanding for what it means to be a parent
Speaker 3: raising a child. Yes, Matt got to read it like
Speaker 3: blown away by my thirteen year old, and the way
Speaker 3: he was able to express himself and the candor and
Speaker 3: the eloquence in that letter was like unlike anything I
Speaker 3: had ever seen, and it just made me feel like
Speaker 3: we're doing a great job. The thing we're doing a
Speaker 3: great job protect Jackson at all costs because he's just
Speaker 3: such an amazing individual. And I'm so inspired by my children,
Speaker 3: but him being the oldest, and I see how much
Speaker 3: like he's working to be the best version of himself
Speaker 3: in every aspect of life. It's like if that's the
Speaker 3: beginning of what our legacy looks like. Dap me up
Speaker 3: ellis left it. Thanks, y'all. All right, before we start sobbing.
Speaker 1: Talking about it, I'm gonna crying. I'm not crying. Let's
Speaker 1: take a podcast a couple of times, a couple of times.
Speaker 1: You see how I brought that together, masculinity.
Speaker 3: Let's go take a quick break, and we'll be back
Speaker 3: with listening letters. Y'all all right, and we're back with
Speaker 3: listener letters. I hope by now you guys have figured
Speaker 3: out the new email address, you know, so that way
Speaker 3: you can write in and hopefully get picked.
Speaker 1: I got to put this out here first.
Speaker 2: I fully got dressed first, and I know y'all see
Speaker 2: us matching, right and before y'all think look at the
Speaker 2: vow dressing like Kadeen.
Speaker 1: Nope, I put this together first. I was ready first,
Speaker 1: and was ready first.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 3: So the funny thing is right, I'm like, oh, now
Speaker 3: that like I'm trying to get addressed for the podcast.
Speaker 3: Since we're doing it new, I was like, let me
Speaker 3: just start like running out some stuff in my closet.
Speaker 3: A that didn't fit me before, Henny that fit now? Okay,
Speaker 3: it's fitting and yeah. So when I saw her dress
Speaker 3: this morning, I started. I said, let me start at
Speaker 3: the top of the closet and work my way this way.
Speaker 3: And this was like one of the third or fourth
Speaker 3: outfits that I saw, and I was like, she fits
Speaker 3: and she matches, So yeah, I did. Yes, I matched
Speaker 3: your fly today.
Speaker 1: I inspired her.
Speaker 4: You did?
Speaker 3: You inspire me every day? I'm sure.
Speaker 1: I'm sure.
Speaker 3: Back to the task at hand, Hey, Kadian.
Speaker 1: Devil, that's always a task at hand. Don't get it.
Speaker 3: This is this is just ancillary shit we're doing here. Hey,
Speaker 3: Kadeian Develle love the practical adulting and relationship episodes the most,
Speaker 3: and I have no dating life or experience by choice
Speaker 3: to bring up anyway. I've been going through some monumental
Speaker 3: changes in the last few years and have some incoming
Speaker 3: financial comfort. I still live in my childhood home with
Speaker 3: a sibling and their child, since our parents passing as
Speaker 3: soon as they can, as soon as they can handle
Speaker 3: the property. I'd like to live alone in my late
Speaker 3: twenties in New York City before a man and family
Speaker 3: enter the picture. I have no idea where to start,
Speaker 3: and there seems to be some shock or confusion from
Speaker 3: our extended family about us or me doing so in
Speaker 3: the near future. My credit is good already invests, have
Speaker 3: a profitable side hustle slash skill. I make good money
Speaker 3: for a single young woman and very little expenses or advices.
Speaker 1: This is sounding good, trible eyes perked up.
Speaker 3: I my eminent financial situation may allow me to become
Speaker 3: a home owner in my own right, but not sure.
Speaker 3: The landlord life is for me seeing how bad tenants
Speaker 3: can be, and that responsibility is what I want a
Speaker 3: break from Any advice would be appreciated. The roommate thing
Speaker 3: is off the table, and staying home is no longer
Speaker 3: comfortable for me. I'm ready to see who I am
Speaker 3: without family in the next room, up the block and
Speaker 3: around the corner.
Speaker 1: I understand her on this. I have very quick advice.
Speaker 2: Right, I would say, right now, the interest rates are
Speaker 2: extremely high and everything is high, so it's about to
Speaker 2: be a seller's market. I would save as much money
Speaker 2: as you can in the next upcoming months and buy
Speaker 2: a property as opposed to renting, because all you're going
Speaker 2: to do when you rent is give your money to
Speaker 2: fund someone else's dream. Hopefully, over the past couple of
Speaker 2: years you've saved so that you can put a down
Speaker 2: payment ten percent on something a condo in New York.
Speaker 1: Getting a condo in New York is.
Speaker 2: Gonna cost you up eight hundred thousand dollars, so you
Speaker 2: figure ten percent of that means you have to have
Speaker 2: eighty thousand dollars in the bank.
Speaker 1: And if you don't have that, I wouldn't move to
Speaker 1: New York. Now, if you want to.
Speaker 2: Rent in New York, a nice apartment anywhere in New
Speaker 2: York is going to cost you over four thousand dollars
Speaker 2: a month, which about forty eight thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 2: So think about your choices before you make them. Living
Speaker 2: in New York is one of the most expensive places
Speaker 2: to live is New York in California.
Speaker 1: So those are just some things you have to think about.
Speaker 1: But I would.
Speaker 2: Definitely go to buy something before I rent if you
Speaker 2: don't want to have the responsibility to pay someone else's bills.
Speaker 2: But I do understand that being a landlord is troubling.
Speaker 2: That's why we chose not to be a landlord in
Speaker 2: New York. Being a landlord is New York one is
Speaker 2: the hardest places to be a landlord because when someone
Speaker 2: gets there, they don't pay rent. It's going to take
Speaker 2: you six months to a year to move out, and
Speaker 2: if people start to squat on your land, it takes
Speaker 2: them even longer to get out.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I wouldn't do no properties in New York right now.
Speaker 1: That's just my take, right.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you were going to purchase something in
Speaker 3: New York, I would say, then you live in it
Speaker 3: and not get it as like an investment property where
Speaker 3: you're doing rentals. But it seems like you have your
Speaker 3: head on pretty straight bood, like you got your adults
Speaker 3: in a row, you know, and a lot of times
Speaker 3: you got to kind of wait till the right move,
Speaker 3: like not just jumping into something because you feel like
Speaker 3: you're starting to get a little uncomfortable. But if you
Speaker 3: have everything set up.
Speaker 2: She said something that you said before that she said
Speaker 2: that she wants to live on her own without a
Speaker 2: man or kids before she gets married.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 10: I agree with that.
Speaker 2: Caudeina and I both say if there was one thing
Speaker 2: we could do differently, just by choice, to learn ourselves,
Speaker 2: it would be before we moved in together.
Speaker 1: She would live on her own and I would live
Speaker 1: on my own, just so that we could see what
Speaker 1: that feels what it felt like. Yeah, we've never had
Speaker 1: that as adults, but I.
Speaker 3: Think us trying to be adult in our thinking and
Speaker 3: trying to be wise at the time financially, it didn't
Speaker 3: make sense. If we're together, we want to be together.
Speaker 3: It's like, why would I go get an apartment, then
Speaker 3: you get an apartment just for the sake of saying
Speaker 3: that we have our own apartments essentially probably stay in
Speaker 3: either majority of the time. It just didn't make sense.
Speaker 3: It's like, why not just pull our resources together and
Speaker 3: live in one place and pay one rent, you know.
Speaker 3: So that was what we did. But yeah, in hindsight,
Speaker 3: we're like, it would have just been nice to have
Speaker 3: a little bit of that. You know, here's my place.
Speaker 3: You can come by. I'll give you a key maybe
Speaker 3: maybe maybe maybe.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't need a key, get the door, cost need
Speaker 2: a key. Trust me, I'm like trouble, I find the
Speaker 2: colde and I be in your.
Speaker 1: Bes before you.
Speaker 5: Too.
Speaker 1: You go walking in, like, I don't worry about that
Speaker 1: four floor.
Speaker 3: I'm happy, I got strong arms, I'm happy here, good
Speaker 3: to see you. That's how you absolutely would be like that.
Speaker 4: I know that, so.
Speaker 3: Listen and it would change pretty much so good luck
Speaker 3: to you in your future endeavors. It seems like you
Speaker 3: got your head on street. As my grandmother would say.
Speaker 2: All right, so if you'd like to be featured as
Speaker 2: one of our listening letters, email us that els advice.
Speaker 1: That's th H E E L L I S A
Speaker 1: D D I C E at Gmail.
Speaker 3: All right, y'all, moment of truth time. We're talking about legacy.
Speaker 3: I guess at this point in its totality, not specifically
Speaker 3: having to do with money, but knowing that that will
Speaker 3: help to give you some autonomy over your life. So
Speaker 3: what's your final thoughts on that I got.
Speaker 2: I got a lot of thoughts, but this one thought
Speaker 2: really came to my mind after we had that discussion, is, man,
Speaker 2: I just don't want to fuck my kids out. MH
Speaker 2: like legas legacy. Everybody thinks legacies. I did this, I
Speaker 2: won this many I made this much money. No, man,
Speaker 2: I have four beautiful humans that came from us too,
Speaker 2: and I really just don't want to mess them up.
Speaker 2: I want them to be strong, free, powerful black man,
Speaker 2: and to me, that's going to be my legacy. All
Speaker 2: four of my boys lined up doing whatever they want
Speaker 2: to do in life, having autonomy over their time and
Speaker 2: space and everything.
Speaker 1: And that's just that's what legacy means to me.
Speaker 3: I love that. Yeah, for me, it's just being more deliberate.
Speaker 3: I think as our boys get older, speaking specifically about
Speaker 3: our family, just being more deliberate about the things that
Speaker 3: I want to pass down to my children, the things
Speaker 3: that I want them to know and to see and
Speaker 3: to feel when they think about who am I? Who
Speaker 3: am I as a person? Where have I come from?
Speaker 3: You know, as my parents get older now now having
Speaker 3: lost actually yesterday it was the one year university of
Speaker 3: my grandmother passed and my last living grandparent, and I
Speaker 3: just think about the richness of my culture and my heritage,
Speaker 3: and like how much they've taught me, those experiences that
Speaker 3: I've had with them, the things that I know will
Speaker 3: live on. What happened?
Speaker 2: Remember I asked you two days ago, I said, Mom's
Speaker 2: walking around with a heaviness, Like, what's the matter, Shoot,
Speaker 2: Grandma's passing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't think about it.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about myself like grandma past, not even thinking
Speaker 2: about how mom my mom.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I didn't realize the day either until yesterday I was like, oh, shoot,
Speaker 3: we were actually filming and I was like, oh, shoot,
Speaker 3: today is the one year anniversary since that my aunt
Speaker 3: called me and I was like, oh, yeah, I think
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't put together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it might have been the approach to to this,
Speaker 3: but yeah, So just just thinking about how much how
Speaker 3: much I am because of the legacy that was instilled
Speaker 3: in me through my grandparents and my parents, and then
Speaker 3: how fortunate we are to have my parents here with
Speaker 3: our children, your parents here with our children, so that
Speaker 3: they can tell the rich stories and they can, you know,
Speaker 3: learn the recipes like popa scoop and making sweet potato
Speaker 3: pies because all the boys love this wee potato pie.
Speaker 3: But that, for me is also legacy wrapped up. It's
Speaker 3: not just about the financial portion of it. It's about
Speaker 3: the richness of who we are.
Speaker 7: For me is to keep building the capital to give
Speaker 7: my kids the freedom, give my my wife and kids
Speaker 7: the freedom in the future, and then also collecting more
Speaker 7: thinking about more cultural moments and things of that nature
Speaker 7: that I want to pass down in the future for me.
Speaker 8: Got kids right now, I like, yeah, yeah, My My
Speaker 8: moment of truth is if you aren't thinking about legacy,
Speaker 8: you just think about uh my moment of truth is
Speaker 8: if you aren't thinking about legacy, you're only thinking about
Speaker 8: short term and you're only living in a moment like
Speaker 8: that is that is?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really good. See Josh was be coming with
Speaker 1: the concise points and he'd be like, I don't like
Speaker 1: to be on camera.
Speaker 9: That was good.
Speaker 6: Bro's over there asking chat GPT.
Speaker 8: We first off, well, first off, first off, if I'm
Speaker 8: not Secondly, I didn't really get to talk about legacy
Speaker 8: in this episode having Victoria, so I think about legacy.
Speaker 8: Legacy is a constant conversation in my household, and I'm
Speaker 8: constantly thinking about my own legacy because I don't want
Speaker 8: to poison my daughter with my bad habits, So I
Speaker 8: think about it constantly, constantly, And Victoria she's a mirror
Speaker 8: of myself and Annika, and she's her own person.
Speaker 4: So I'm constantly thinking about legacy.
Speaker 2: So no, it's not Chad GBT you a question, the
Speaker 2: serious question though, So you think about her being a
Speaker 2: wife and how she's going to be, like the type
Speaker 2: of man she chooses.
Speaker 1: When you say you don't want to poison.
Speaker 8: All of that, I'm thinking about the type of wife
Speaker 8: she will be, the type of earner, she will be
Speaker 8: the type of person in society that she will be,
Speaker 8: and I don't want my bad habits to rub off
Speaker 8: on her. She said something last week, she was making
Speaker 8: a video whatever, and she's like, this is my parents.
Speaker 8: They're so overprotective. And I was just like, I didn't
Speaker 8: want to ruin her video. But we had a conversation. Well,
Speaker 8: I talked to Nika afterwards. I was like, yo, Victoria said,
Speaker 8: we're overprotective. And then I had to have a conversation
Speaker 8: with her because I don't want her to be a
Speaker 8: fearful person in life because we're overshadowing her.
Speaker 4: But I had to correct her. I said, Yo, we're
Speaker 4: not overprotective.
Speaker 8: You have a cell phone, right, Like you watch almost
Speaker 8: anything that you watch that's age appropriate, right, Like you
Speaker 8: know you you go on.
Speaker 4: Playdas with your friends, we take you out. You're not overprotective.
Speaker 8: I said, what you what we are is protective of you, right,
Speaker 8: And I don't want you to misconstrue that with being overprotective,
Speaker 8: because people who are overprotective, I know you see them
Speaker 8: when they get to college.
Speaker 4: They on girl wow.
Speaker 8: And having a daughter, you're thinking constantly, thinking about the
Speaker 8: things that the decisions that I make, the things that
Speaker 8: I say to her, the way that I acted, I
Speaker 8: treated her mom, the way we treat each other is
Speaker 8: going to literally have an effect on her because it
Speaker 8: is a direct representation of what she sees every single So.
Speaker 4: Legacy is constant.
Speaker 8: Anika talks about it almost almost to a fault because
Speaker 8: you know her own like how she grew up her
Speaker 8: parents right, and we want Vitoya's life to be easier
Speaker 8: than what we had, and we want Victoria to make
Speaker 8: her children's lives easier than what we made for her.
Speaker 1: So I want to touch on that of what that
Speaker 1: looks like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a father to a daughter, because I only know
Speaker 2: from a father to a son, and sometimes I'll say
Speaker 2: the kay, like you do realize how you behave is
Speaker 2: how the kids are going to view women.
Speaker 1: So their ideas of what women are supposed to be
Speaker 1: coming from you.
Speaker 2: Hearing you say that from a father to a daughter,
Speaker 2: I could see how like that's a lot of pressure
Speaker 2: because you're hoping that your daughter at some point gets
Speaker 2: in front of a man or deals with the type
Speaker 2: of men and she understands what.
Speaker 1: The type of protection looks like and what love looks like.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And it's different for boys because I can hit my
Speaker 2: boys in the chest and be like, man, you can't
Speaker 2: do that with your Yeah, yeah, I want to.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you after I ask you some question.
Speaker 4: There was a quote on Instagram.
Speaker 8: I'm sorry, I want to make this too long, but
Speaker 8: there was a quote, but there was a videos on
Speaker 8: Instagram and it was the the joy of the daughter
Speaker 8: or the future of the daughter. Her happiness is a
Speaker 8: direct result of how her mom is, like how her
Speaker 8: mom is, her mom's happiness. And I think we had
Speaker 8: a conversation about this.
Speaker 12: While I.
Speaker 8: Want to make sure that I'm not making my wife miserable,
Speaker 8: so my daughter doesn't become miserable, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: It's a crazy concept to have, But.
Speaker 8: Victoria's Victoria's direct influence from women is her mom.
Speaker 1: It's not a crazy concept. It's the truth.
Speaker 2: I said the same thing, right with single moms who
Speaker 2: raised boys, who end up raising the type of boys
Speaker 2: that the fun boys are, the same men that they hate.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing. A dude has a responsibility.
Speaker 2: You have a daughter, Your daughter is going to end
Speaker 2: up dating the same type of dude you are, because
Speaker 2: that's all she sees is a man. If you a
Speaker 2: fuck boy, your daughter's gonna end up with a fuck
Speaker 2: boy unless she has a mentally strong mom who points
Speaker 2: out the fact that that's not how all men behave.
Speaker 2: But then even in that, you're her father, her mom
Speaker 2: saying anything, you're still her father. So it's interesting to
Speaker 2: me because now I'm thinking about the type of women
Speaker 2: my boys will bring home. I hope they have the
Speaker 2: type of father in their life that's going to show
Speaker 2: them what it means to be in a relation, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, in a relationship.
Speaker 1: We talk about this with our.
Speaker 3: Sons, right, and I'm like, hey, have mothers who take
Speaker 3: care of them. So it's just interesting to.
Speaker 1: Hear a father's perspective your daughters like that. We know
Speaker 1: we've talked about that.
Speaker 2: I want we should do a podcast about that, triple
Speaker 2: Can you write that down, because I'm really starting to
Speaker 2: see a big thing with now. I see why daddy
Speaker 2: issues matter and people think that it's it's just something
Speaker 2: that people say, but it's not. It's not like how
Speaker 2: girls see men directly correlates to their father. Same thing
Speaker 2: with sons and their mom.
Speaker 8: I'm here to change the legacy that Triple has for me,
Speaker 8: I think I need to rely on chat GBT to
Speaker 8: generate my own thoughts.
Speaker 3: Coming back to you, Triple trips go round out the
Speaker 3: moment of truth anyway, So.
Speaker 1: Get them back, Triple go ahead, No chat GBT. This
Speaker 1: is all t r I b B l.
Speaker 3: Bbld tvvy BBL TRIBB.
Speaker 6: I like that's a hit.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 6: Legacy. My moment of truth is.
Speaker 5: Lately I've been thinking about even if I don't become
Speaker 5: a parent, there's a lot of uh kids in my
Speaker 5: life that I do have an influence on. I have
Speaker 5: nieces and nephews, my friends, my close friends have children
Speaker 5: who look up to me.
Speaker 1: So yeah.
Speaker 5: I try to do my best every day and leave
Speaker 5: the best impression that I can at the people that
Speaker 5: are watching.
Speaker 3: So yeah, because they're always watching them little kids, they're
Speaker 3: always watching. They're always watching. All right, y'all be sure
Speaker 3: to follow us on Patreon if you have not, shout
Speaker 3: out to our Patreon Ganggang, we Love you. You can
Speaker 3: see the after show there, as well as more exclusive
Speaker 3: Ellis ever After content and family content. Don't forget about that,
Speaker 3: and you can find our new Instagram page. Please follow
Speaker 3: if you haven't Ellis ever After on Instagram. You can
Speaker 3: find me at Kadeen I am.
Speaker 7: And I am Deval, I am at Underscore Matt dot Ellis.
Speaker 7: I'm sorry people, just click click on the.
Speaker 4: And I am Joshua Duane as j os h U
Speaker 4: A Underscore.
Speaker 5: D W A I N and I'm at tribs the
Speaker 5: Cool tri I B b Z. That's cool on everything.
Speaker 2: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate,
Speaker 2: review and subscribe.
Speaker 1: And as always, we gonna be Dad.
Speaker 3: That's my baby.
Speaker 4: God.
Speaker 5: Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Speaker 5: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, production
Speaker 5: by Joshua Duane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashawan Rowe.
Speaker 12: To gift.
Speaker 2: To the
Speaker 12: Wit and Wait you