Speaker 1: Look man oh, I see you? Why why? And look
Speaker 1: over there? How is that culture? Yes, goodness calling. Not
Speaker 1: only are lost cultursa is calling, but lost culturess are
Speaker 1: going to be traveling. We're going to be traveling. Um
Speaker 1: by the time you listen, they will have been announced.
Speaker 1: Its announced a little bit about a week. But we're
Speaker 1: so excited. We're going to Clusterfest in San Francisco. I
Speaker 1: was gagged when I saw the lineup like it. Actually,
Speaker 1: you know, whenever I see those festival lineups and I
Speaker 1: always read the names, I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to go to that, but this this, I just I
Speaker 1: would go to this, right, I would have a really
Speaker 1: good time. Fucking drag Queens are on the Black Queens,
Speaker 1: but also a third eye blind Literally Manila Luzon is
Speaker 1: on the same is on the same bill as Amy Schumer.
Speaker 1: There you go, fucking Manilla, Manilla. I'm I am so
Speaker 1: honored that Manila, Alaska and Drinks mon Soon are listed
Speaker 1: on the You know, the festival does how many do
Speaker 1: you go down? And it's like the high credit people
Speaker 1: are up there, and then as you go to the bottom,
Speaker 1: you know, you get it pretty far down. I would say,
Speaker 1: we're pretty far down. But I'm very proud that Alaska,
Speaker 1: Manila and um the third one Jenks are very kind
Speaker 1: of I think there before like Roy Wood Jr. Yes,
Speaker 1: and above um Joe Ki and Booster. We're above Joel. Sorry, Jey, Joel,
Speaker 1: I guess that's just that's this canon now, Sorry, stupid
Speaker 1: bit stupid, not famous bit, not famous Joe Kim Booster,
Speaker 1: He's gonna kill us. Okay, guys, Oh, we have tried
Speaker 1: to kill me. I tell Joel try but we have
Speaker 1: a smart, famous bitch. I would say, this famous bitch
Speaker 1: would be so close to the top, well above Alaska, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna We're gonna ask him about this if
Speaker 1: he would place himself above Alaska, and I think so,
Speaker 1: I want to pull up that. I want to pull
Speaker 1: up the festival list and he can show us where
Speaker 1: he thinks. And then we'll call them and say, so,
Speaker 1: if you had booked Bell, so where would he be?
Speaker 1: You know what? This is so self indulgent of us. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's go through the credits. But I like it. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, right now, let's be indulgent in that. Let's
Speaker 1: be indulgent in our guest. Oh my god, he is
Speaker 1: um iconic sensation. You fell in love with him when
Speaker 1: he was a writer BuzzFeed Wine about it, I mean,
Speaker 1: just a bell Weather, a video content um for the
Speaker 1: rest of time and then to be honest web series, amazing, amazing,
Speaker 1: amazing series. He gives it to you straight, baby, absolutely straight,
Speaker 1: No chaser, no chaser. But he still drinks because there's
Speaker 1: still there's a drinking. I said, you don't really necessarily
Speaker 1: need a chaser with wine necessarily steribly. I say that
Speaker 1: as we drink wine moment um and in his honor,
Speaker 1: of course. Of course, of course this is not something
Speaker 1: we regularly do. He has his amazing, amazing, incredible chart
Speaker 1: topping podcast, The Tarts Chop Chop, The Tarts Baby, The
Speaker 1: Unhappy Hour, so so fun and um he is currently
Speaker 1: Is he still on tour? We'll talk. He's on tour.
Speaker 1: The bitches on tour. We know she's a touring girl
Speaker 1: and she's headed to chip a Pee. Is that chickapea? Kay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we just discuss this for his incredible, incredible book Everything
Speaker 1: is Awful and other observations. Yeah, please welcome Matt Bellas.
Speaker 1: I thank you. I am very impressed. But your ability
Speaker 1: to recite those facts. Yeah, you know it wasn't reading awful. No,
Speaker 1: that's a true fan right there. There you go. But
Speaker 1: he did miss you. My favorite credit of yours, which
Speaker 1: is People's Choice Award winner for best Social Media the
Speaker 1: best social Media personality, which has to put you in
Speaker 1: the company of what like Kelly Quoco. I was the
Speaker 1: inaugural winners. Yeah, and then immediately they were like, we're
Speaker 1: getting rid of this. They got rid of it because
Speaker 1: they know that like one day Logan Paul would come along, right. No.
Speaker 1: The next year was Cameron Dallas. If you know of Camerons, Cameron,
Speaker 1: he's he does like you've seen him because he does
Speaker 1: like having clin ads. Now that's okay, we get it,
Speaker 1: we get okay. Alright, who is your competition your year?
Speaker 1: I need to know. The top five were me Lily Ponds,
Speaker 1: you know she's a vine star coming to the stage.
Speaker 1: Cameron Dallas was another one, Cameron, Frankie Grande familiar yeah,
Speaker 1: and someone else. I don't remember Frankie grinding a social
Speaker 1: media personality or is he literally a ground his brother he?
Speaker 1: I mean he was doing Broadway Ship like back in
Speaker 1: the day to be with Arianna. I'm gonna reserve my
Speaker 1: opinion of him. Off Mike. Okay, we'll talk about this
Speaker 1: off Mike, Matt, would you place yourself above Alaska? I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I saw it. I was looking at
Speaker 1: the lineup for that because I saw one of you
Speaker 1: tweeted it um and that. My thought was like, it's
Speaker 1: so it's so weird when you see those lineups, because
Speaker 1: like it's such a hierarchy. Yeah, but as long as
Speaker 1: you're not and more and like you've made it. And
Speaker 1: I was actually scared them because when I first looked
Speaker 1: at it, I was like, oh, maybe we'll be on
Speaker 1: the list. I really did think we'd be listening for
Speaker 1: some reason. And then I saw that we were, and
Speaker 1: I was like I looked at the post for a second,
Speaker 1: like for a second, like I just couldn't find us,
Speaker 1: And I was like, I know, I was sad. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I I did. I've only done like one comedy festival
Speaker 1: and I was pretty high up on the thing. But
Speaker 1: I was like, they made a mistake. It's not like
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be about some of these people. I think
Speaker 1: that's the queer experience, just saying I don't deserve it.
Speaker 1: But then on the bottom, but then proving otherwise at
Speaker 1: the gig itself. Yeah, at the gig itself, they're going
Speaker 1: to make a new list, put us at the top.
Speaker 1: There you go. It is like very gratifying to me
Speaker 1: because I'm in that weird this is I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: start talking about myself. I'm in that weird space where
Speaker 1: it's like I make Internet videos but also do stand
Speaker 1: up and so like stand up comics are like, okay,
Speaker 1: you do your little show. Like internet people are like,
Speaker 1: well you're not like really a YouTuber, which I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm I were gladly not accept with the title. And
Speaker 1: so it's I'm in that weird space where like sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll go and perform a show and the like the
Speaker 1: club managers will come up to me after and be
Speaker 1: like I was expecting you to be ship, like you
Speaker 1: were good, and I was like, yeah, so were you
Speaker 1: doing comedy pre dooing YouTube stuff or like in Facebook
Speaker 1: stuff and buzz with buzz not not like live comedy.
Speaker 1: I was always like writing funny stuff in Northwestern boy journalism.
Speaker 1: Thought I was going to be like a Time magazine writer,
Speaker 1: which would be sure you would be great at well.
Speaker 1: I worked at this magazine in Chicago when I was
Speaker 1: still a student intern. It is called in These Times,
Speaker 1: and it's like Bernie Sanders in a magazine. It's like
Speaker 1: socialist run by remember in elections, elections, which it's coming.
Speaker 1: We'll be there, we hope. Where they said Barack Obama
Speaker 1: was like aborting with this terrorist that he was friends
Speaker 1: with Williams. Yeah, it's like his magazine that I worked
Speaker 1: for magazine. Basically he's like an investor, like right, And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't really like writing about the
Speaker 1: news to the extent that we were writing about the news,
Speaker 1: and that wasn't happier times. Yeah, right, imagine now imagine
Speaker 1: we just had normal problems back the charmed times. Right,
Speaker 1: and then listen Northwestern. There's a lot of great gems
Speaker 1: that come out of there. You graduate, Yeah, okay, that's
Speaker 1: when we graduated. So maybe you know some Well that's
Speaker 1: another off air conversation with Right. I feel like I
Speaker 1: didn't drop out, and that's where that's where the real
Speaker 1: stars like that drop out of the question. Like all
Speaker 1: the famous people who came back and gave commencement addresses
Speaker 1: were like we dropped out, Like Julia Louis wifu. I
Speaker 1: didn't know she was. She technically dropped out. She's the
Speaker 1: Gaga of Northwest. Gaga went to mu for um a
Speaker 1: flint of a moment. Yeah, and then she said, I'm
Speaker 1: probably going to be an international pop star by way
Speaker 1: of the underground New York scene. Have you guys read
Speaker 1: her like writing the essay essays like her expository essay. No,
Speaker 1: but one of my friends was in that class with
Speaker 1: her and said that he said that Stephanie was gray.
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope she was. She had like a
Speaker 1: long brown hair and was like Stephanie, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, like imagine Lady Gaga but being a Stephanie.
Speaker 1: Wasn't she on that like hidden camera shop boiling points.
Speaker 1: Stephanie was on boiling points. And Stephanie did not deal
Speaker 1: well with a napkin on her. She did not. It
Speaker 1: was great, she boiled. It was great because it was
Speaker 1: like a real moment where she was like the funk
Speaker 1: out of here. This is this is like what do
Speaker 1: you need this sucking salad with the napkin in it?
Speaker 1: Which is like how any of them being polite about
Speaker 1: that situation is right? That's like diva test one oh one.
Speaker 1: That's how they train well before they're going to sign
Speaker 1: them to the record deal. They ship on someone's plate
Speaker 1: and they say, how she's gonna react to this? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What waiter ends up with like a knife in their
Speaker 1: back always dies in the Diva Trading six album deal. Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 1: Guys were drinking a little bit of wine in honor
Speaker 1: of Matt. Yes, this is a nice savignon blanc. We're
Speaker 1: going to move on shortly to a cab um Mrs gorgeous.
Speaker 1: I mean, Matt, I did want to ask you, and
Speaker 1: I think I prefaced this question going into this before
Speaker 1: we hit record. I feel like you've been forced to
Speaker 1: just imbibe so much on camera for the entertainment of others.
Speaker 1: What are your You talked about this a little bit.
Speaker 1: What are your feelings towards just being forced to drink? Now?
Speaker 1: Are you being forced? I am in a prison of
Speaker 1: my own, making no choice. No. It was interesting because
Speaker 1: I've been very open about the fact that I don't
Speaker 1: really like wine. I drink it. I drink it, just
Speaker 1: like I don't like drinking water, but I drink it.
Speaker 1: Drink you know, I have to hydrate. That's so something
Speaker 1: like a middle aged mom would say, no, I mean,
Speaker 1: but that's my audience. But the other day I saw
Speaker 1: you drinking what I thought was a white zimph and
Speaker 1: I was like, he'd better not been drinking white zinn.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've ever it was like a red color.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was rose maybe or it was really well,
Speaker 1: it depends, I don't know, it depends on what you
Speaker 1: were watching. But yeah, I don't like now wine is
Speaker 1: like my my work drink, and that's drink on camera.
Speaker 1: But now I was always I always used to be
Speaker 1: one of those people. It was like, I don't like
Speaker 1: alcohol is alcohol. It doesn't affect me differently, like drinking
Speaker 1: tequila versus wine versus foka can all affect me the same.
Speaker 1: But now I'm like, now that I'm an old man,
Speaker 1: I'm like our age, drinking wine gives me a headache. Okay,
Speaker 1: you need I think there's something different about especially considering
Speaker 1: that I'm like very sweaty all the time, as you
Speaker 1: can see, and it's just you have to sort of
Speaker 1: balance it out right, like I will dehydrate immediately on it.
Speaker 1: So wine is dangerous. Now my like go to drink
Speaker 1: when I go out is like whiskey on the rocks.
Speaker 1: I love because I convinced, Yeah, you look sophisticated as
Speaker 1: I blowed a little on bourbon. Yeah, anyway, that's that's anyway,
Speaker 1: keep going. What does that mean? Below it my bloat?
Speaker 1: Like I get my face get well, when he drinks whiskey,
Speaker 1: he blow it. That's what I thought. There's so much
Speaker 1: I don't have so much to learn to I like
Speaker 1: convey myself that that was the healthiest option because it's
Speaker 1: like I get what I can drink without a mixer,
Speaker 1: and like it gets me the drunkest for like the
Speaker 1: amount consumed and sort of your hydrant in two because
Speaker 1: there's ice. Absolutely well, that's a beautiful arc and there's you.
Speaker 1: You've more alcohol to explore in the future. So I
Speaker 1: just went on a book tour and I was like,
Speaker 1: I did a tour last year and drank a full
Speaker 1: bottle of wine during every show, and at the end
Speaker 1: of the night, I was like, I feel disgusting, and
Speaker 1: then I have to wake up, get on an airplane
Speaker 1: and do the same thing the next night. Wait, hold on,
Speaker 1: how many shows a week? Well, it was only like
Speaker 1: maybe three nights a week, but they consecutive, maybe right.
Speaker 1: They would be like yeah, and then I'd have like
Speaker 1: four days to recover and then three and that was
Speaker 1: for like seven weeks, and so this time around it
Speaker 1: was much more condensed. So I was like, it was
Speaker 1: literally like four straight weeks of just like a different
Speaker 1: thing every night, maybe a day or so, like here
Speaker 1: and there. And I was like, I cannot do that.
Speaker 1: So you watered down the wine a little bit there, No,
Speaker 1: I went to whiskey. I was let's just go because
Speaker 1: then I can like there's I don't know, I feel
Speaker 1: less terrible. I can still get drunk. It's not a
Speaker 1: volume thing with whiskey. It's like you're not really expected
Speaker 1: to drink a certain amount, still drink a good amount
Speaker 1: of it. What I'm getting at is that there were
Speaker 1: a number of my audience members who were very upset
Speaker 1: that I wasn't drinking wine. There was one show I
Speaker 1: had the craziest show in Seattle, which I was like,
Speaker 1: they're going to be nice in Seattle, and this girl
Speaker 1: I was drinking whiskey, like a good amount of it.
Speaker 1: I had at one point to be like, it's alcohol.
Speaker 1: It has more alcohol than anyway. I was in the
Speaker 1: middle of my show and She walked up to the
Speaker 1: stage and set a full cup of wine on stage,
Speaker 1: but she thought, and the entire audience was like, drink it.
Speaker 1: That's and I was like, no good, we are not
Speaker 1: going to do this. I will. I will sit down
Speaker 1: and wait for you all to shut the fun that
Speaker 1: is bellaside for you. And we just got a little
Speaker 1: bit of the bellaside growl and like it's it's you
Speaker 1: know that that's that's snapped him into They probably love
Speaker 1: that even more in the shape. Yeah. The good thing
Speaker 1: about like the persona that I have is that I
Speaker 1: can be addictive people expected right right, try I'm I'm
Speaker 1: actually a very nice person. Well that's what we're That's
Speaker 1: what we're getting now. And like I think you're about
Speaker 1: just because we I mean, we do this whole thing,
Speaker 1: we condense a rant into a minute, but you you
Speaker 1: are able to steep yourself into it so skillfully. And
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna we're gonna get schooled here just
Speaker 1: just throughout the episode. I'm just I'm just saying to me,
Speaker 1: no pressure. But it's also like I feel a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure because I've been like thinking about this for
Speaker 1: a while. Okay, but but you do this. I mean,
Speaker 1: you do this, I know, but hard, it's hard. It
Speaker 1: is hard. It's a lot harder than you think, especially
Speaker 1: at our live shows because you get up and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, Like I don't know there's a possibility of
Speaker 1: us editing one although have we ever edited? And I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, ever on the shop never, I
Speaker 1: don't think we've We've always gone uncut right tape. I'm
Speaker 1: bad at improv I'm like, I'm like, I need to
Speaker 1: spend days writing something like a minute of material and
Speaker 1: get it down. So what do you have a topic for?
Speaker 1: I don't think, honey, later today, do you have a
Speaker 1: pre let the topic? I have an idea? Because I'm
Speaker 1: always curious. I mean, I'm sure you guys like have
Speaker 1: some sort of like pitching stage. I mean you you
Speaker 1: would have them for wine about it. You probably have
Speaker 1: them for to be honest, um where it's like, uh, okay,
Speaker 1: let me pick out these topics that I'm gonna talk about.
Speaker 1: But like I guess it's hard to find like the
Speaker 1: first little seed crystal of like, oh, let me start
Speaker 1: off with this and talk about this first. But I
Speaker 1: feel like you have this, like you have this very
Speaker 1: nice stream of consciousness about your style. You have a
Speaker 1: really good stream of consciousness accepted. It's true. It's a
Speaker 1: really good complem it. I think so much about like
Speaker 1: how much time I like spend on writing everything. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I'm like most of my videos are completely written
Speaker 1: out from beginning to end, or at least I have
Speaker 1: like a pretty good outline because when we filmed video,
Speaker 1: when I was filming at BuzzFeed, um my producer, you know,
Speaker 1: there would be days where I'd get lazy and be like,
Speaker 1: let's just go for it, and you'd be like no,
Speaker 1: because you're going to drink a bottle of wine and
Speaker 1: then like get wildly distracted by something and we're not
Speaker 1: going to be able to film anything because yeah, so
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, I have to like write a
Speaker 1: script so I know what at least to have like
Speaker 1: the baseline. Then we can start have bullet points firmly
Speaker 1: in place, we can add lib a little. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: then either you're out of your depth or we're out
Speaker 1: of ours, like this is going to be in the middle,
Speaker 1: like where is nobody knows what they're doing ever ever,
Speaker 1: which is I feel like it's like one of your nice,
Speaker 1: like you know acts maybe right, I have no idea
Speaker 1: what I am doing, none of us And that's the truth. Literally,
Speaker 1: not a person knows what they're doing today. I left Facebook, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I I decided that it was too fucking much
Speaker 1: and everyone was getting dumber. Yeah, I was just like,
Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore, right, I feel like I
Speaker 1: So I have like my my Facebook like page right
Speaker 1: post videos, and then I have my own profile. And
Speaker 1: when I go on my own profile and look at
Speaker 1: the people I'm friends with, half of them, I'm like,
Speaker 1: who are you? Happened no memory of this person? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know like getting married and having children, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't I don't know who your parents are,
Speaker 1: Like I don't write right right right right where you
Speaker 1: came from. I wouldn't know you in person. When it
Speaker 1: comes down to Facebook just reminds me that, like, all
Speaker 1: I really know is like four people. Yes, for sure,
Speaker 1: it's it's sad more than aggravating. But are you Are
Speaker 1: you now at that place where you're at like your
Speaker 1: Facebook friend limit, like no one can friend request you
Speaker 1: or because it's a max thing. Um maybe no, I
Speaker 1: still get I still see them pop up but I
Speaker 1: haven't like actually posted or used Facebook as like a
Speaker 1: regular just profile person. It's different now. I mean I
Speaker 1: go on, I scroll through it, but I haven't posted
Speaker 1: or like accepted a friend request. Sometimes I look at
Speaker 1: the messages and like the other inbox if you see it,
Speaker 1: like where people are like, I'm just this person, yeah
Speaker 1: right now? Is that? Is that like the cadence of
Speaker 1: the message? Sometimes yeah, yeah, it's very It's confusing. Do
Speaker 1: you get a lot of people um sort of engaging
Speaker 1: with you, like, girl, we know each other in a
Speaker 1: way that's une like in person or on the internet,
Speaker 1: or both on the internet, because on the Internet it
Speaker 1: sometimes gets to a place where it's like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: this person really just like because now I think I
Speaker 1: don't know about you. But for the first time, I'm
Speaker 1: now getting some messages on Facebook that it's like when
Speaker 1: people didn't like a tweet or something or didn't like
Speaker 1: something I said, They'll be like, fuck this, this is stupid,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, like for the first time ever, well,
Speaker 1: not not that they would take to Facebook, but it's
Speaker 1: like a response to a tweet, when someone will respond
Speaker 1: to a tweet and I'm like, oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: one never did this before, and I feel like half
Speaker 1: of it is kind of good because like you follow
Speaker 1: a town's drawing, and I guess that's quote unquote good.
Speaker 1: But now people are just like we feel like we
Speaker 1: can say fuck you, and it's like, I have that done.
Speaker 1: I've had that for not not to brag yeah at
Speaker 1: me for a long time. I said before that I
Speaker 1: feel like I sort of got eased into it because
Speaker 1: when I was started writing for BuzzFeed, I didn't have
Speaker 1: any followers. And when when I started at BuzzFeed, BuzzFeed
Speaker 1: itself was still pretty new, so if someone hated something
Speaker 1: I wrote, they would say like funk BuzzFeed, I hate
Speaker 1: BuzzFeed in the comments. And then as it started to
Speaker 1: grow and people started recognizing like my name on articles
Speaker 1: because like I'd always write about like hot guys and
Speaker 1: they were like one direction and they'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: here's this guy again, like this guy, and then gradually
Speaker 1: would be like funk Matt belas I. And then when
Speaker 1: I started making by the time I started making videos,
Speaker 1: it was like fuck you and your family and you
Speaker 1: personally like not my family, but but you're but you
Speaker 1: are tracking this like level up each time yeah, but
Speaker 1: by the time it got to that point, I was
Speaker 1: so like, whatever, I just don't like murder me and
Speaker 1: I'll be fine. But I did have There was some
Speaker 1: I tweeted, I'll be fine, don't murder me and I'll
Speaker 1: be fine. See you're welcome. There was a tweet I
Speaker 1: did the other day. That's how I talk the tweet
Speaker 1: I was I screenshoted one of my drafts because I
Speaker 1: was too embarrassed to tweet the actual thing. Even though
Speaker 1: I tweeted it out in the form of a people
Speaker 1: couldn't have searched it. That's true. But it was about
Speaker 1: how my butthole puckers every time I see a picture
Speaker 1: of zac Efron and it's do like it's involuntary a
Speaker 1: dolphins surfing like surfacing. Yes, it just has to. And
Speaker 1: some woman replied and was like, I love your videos,
Speaker 1: but you're better than this type of humor. Clearly I'm not,
Speaker 1: so I did it. I said it, I'm not better
Speaker 1: than that. But also like also like she clearly hadn't
Speaker 1: read anything else, like you followed him on. But it
Speaker 1: is like my my video persona is a lot different
Speaker 1: I think than my my like Twitter persona, but I
Speaker 1: think there's also this other discussion about I don't know
Speaker 1: and like like it's great, It's it's this beautiful thing
Speaker 1: when people do I'm talking about in person, when people
Speaker 1: come up to you and like start like getting a
Speaker 1: little too a little too like unearned about things, and
Speaker 1: they're just like this only happens like once every like
Speaker 1: six months. I'm gonna say and I'm not saying this,
Speaker 1: and I'm just saying that people are gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 1: stupid bit, You're like like just being a little too
Speaker 1: real with me, And I'm like, whoa, whoa, Like let's
Speaker 1: get to know each other. Yeah, No, I I get that.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, people feel like especially because I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, an alcohol like I'm putting that in air
Speaker 1: quotes on the internet that they can I had this,
Speaker 1: I had this woman. I'm like hesitating about whether I
Speaker 1: should talk about it that. No, we're gonna talk about it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get real. I'm pretty sure I've talked about
Speaker 1: it before in other forms. But there was this show
Speaker 1: in San Francisco last year in and she um it
Speaker 1: was in like the backstage room like green room after
Speaker 1: the after the show, so I was drunk. Everybody else
Speaker 1: was drunk. There was like a bunch of people I
Speaker 1: knew at that show. We were all like taking shots
Speaker 1: backstage afterwards, and um, there was a few people there
Speaker 1: who were there to talk about like a brand deal
Speaker 1: that I was going to do. They like we had
Speaker 1: an agree read to anything. I was meeting these people
Speaker 1: for the first time and it was this group of
Speaker 1: like women, older, like middle aged women. And the one
Speaker 1: rep from this company was wasted and she came up
Speaker 1: to me and she was like, I bet your dick
Speaker 1: is so big. I'm accepted. And she was like, I'm
Speaker 1: just like you. I fucking hate my kids. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't have kids. You're a grown woman
Speaker 1: with children. What was she confusing that with? She was
Speaker 1: like I had jokes about like how I hate so
Speaker 1: she hate my kids? Right. It was just this moment
Speaker 1: where she was like you're just like me and like
Speaker 1: wor can be bitches And I was like, Hey, this
Speaker 1: this is a business, that's a professional environment where we're
Speaker 1: all wasted. And then we had a phone call the
Speaker 1: next day to talk about, you know, the deal, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I bet she's going to be
Speaker 1: embarrassed and she was just as insane. Had nothing to
Speaker 1: do with the fact that she was drunk. Actually taps
Speaker 1: to that. I mean, like not to her making you
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable, obviously, but like she's consistent, consist she's just crazy.
Speaker 1: So was Harvey Weinstein basically got groped. Sexual harassment is
Speaker 1: fun with charm. That's so. It's the sixties. Everyone's drinking.
Speaker 1: That's so. That's awful. Oh my god, that's I mean, like,
Speaker 1: and not even eventually you get to that place, but
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know, we will all get to
Speaker 1: the place. And I'm saying, I'm saying, eventually you get
Speaker 1: to that place where you could theoretically joke about your
Speaker 1: kids or your penis size with this woman. Absolutely, she
Speaker 1: just assumed that that time was sooner than the rest
Speaker 1: of the world might. Yeah, it's just so weird to me.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I was so like taken aback, didn't
Speaker 1: expect it. Sometimes I gravitate towards those people, though, like
Speaker 1: I'll find that I'll talk to them the most. I
Speaker 1: think it's because I'm from Long Island, where everyone's just like,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something about so and so. She's
Speaker 1: a fucking alcoholic and this and this and this and this,
Speaker 1: and you're like, Okay, oh my god, yeah, this is
Speaker 1: what we're talking about, all right, Like I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's like the like very sort of like Italian
Speaker 1: part of like Roman Catholic part of Long Island. And
Speaker 1: then I'm from where it's just like we see what
Speaker 1: we think, and I'm just like and I almost don't
Speaker 1: know how to relate to someone that's not on that level.
Speaker 1: Sometimes to the point where I've been told by outside
Speaker 1: people like you make friends with some crazy people, and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh my god, I guess I do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think now I like the storyteller and me wants
Speaker 1: that because I just every every other yeah, every like
Speaker 1: assault that comes my way is just new materials. Just
Speaker 1: make sure it's verbal, please, can it please be verbal assaults.
Speaker 1: I've now added a whole bit about how like this,
Speaker 1: this woman came up to me after a show that
Speaker 1: I did in Cleveland and like full on sodomized me
Speaker 1: with her angers, like I mean, it was outside the pants,
Speaker 1: but still like it didn't. Oh. The good news is
Speaker 1: I don't think she remembers. But it's good. Honestly, there's
Speaker 1: it's just like it's one thing I think to go
Speaker 1: up and like smack someone on the butt, because you'll
Speaker 1: forget that, you know what I mean, Like if you
Speaker 1: come up and snack me on the ass, I'll around
Speaker 1: and be like, well that was a little weird or
Speaker 1: maybe you know, I don't know, I'll just forget it.
Speaker 1: You try to finger my butt hole. That will stay
Speaker 1: with me forever. Yeah, no, it has and it won't
Speaker 1: right no, yeah, yeah, oh my god, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's the only time that's happened, unwanted, unwanted, unwanted, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I went. Now, I like use that in my set
Speaker 1: as a god, usually as a way to be like,
Speaker 1: don't beautiful, But then people think they're being funny when
Speaker 1: they're like, I'm gonna put my thing or in your butt.
Speaker 1: It's not a joke, don't ever, don't do it, but
Speaker 1: they joke about it, and I'm like that crazy, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put my finger in your butt? Like what a
Speaker 1: sick uncle joke? Is that? Right? I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: it comes full circle where I'm like, I'm this is yeah,
Speaker 1: this is happening to me, and therefore, what does that
Speaker 1: say about me? Right, And that is a I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I was saying, and I was like, you know, like
Speaker 1: doing it to myself? You do you do go to yourself? Like,
Speaker 1: how am I the guy who the joke is fingering
Speaker 1: your butt where It's like I'm asking for it? Oh
Speaker 1: my god? You know what. It's because we're gay. It's
Speaker 1: because we're gay. They wouldn't even think about our butt
Speaker 1: holes if we weren't. That, I mean, I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to touch a straight guy's butt hole. That. It's just like,
Speaker 1: that's not well, you know, he takes care of his
Speaker 1: butt hole. I think Zach Zach, Zach you would. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're saying, Zac Efron, if you're listening, maybe if you
Speaker 1: enthusiastically consented, we would all finger I would say this,
Speaker 1: he works out a lot, and so that bin me
Speaker 1: is very sweaty a lot of the time and probably
Speaker 1: doesn't smell great. I feel like it cleans itself. Like
Speaker 1: if you if you've seen his pictures of him at lately,
Speaker 1: are so like other worldly, sculpted and better with the
Speaker 1: buff buff buff. I'm saying that it looks like inhuman right,
Speaker 1: it's not real. So like I feel like his butthole
Speaker 1: is probably like it's like, I don't know, it doesn't
Speaker 1: excrete anything wow about that. That's the thing, because it's
Speaker 1: like sometimes I do fall guilty of this, like I
Speaker 1: will be that gay guy who's like attracted to straight men,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, like or that kind of masculinity,
Speaker 1: that kind of masculinity, you know, for for whatever reason.
Speaker 1: You know, I think it probably has to do with
Speaker 1: my upbringing, Like that is a thing that was impounded
Speaker 1: in me early, which is this kind of man is attractive.
Speaker 1: And a lot of times, like when people are like
Speaker 1: like on Grinder or Tinder and they're like mask only,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that person doesn't know that that's not okay.
Speaker 1: But I get why they're saying it, because society fucking
Speaker 1: hammers it into you and so but then I remind
Speaker 1: myself straight guys they don't take care of their buttles.
Speaker 1: They probably smell awful, And then I don't think about
Speaker 1: it anymore. Yeah, I neveryone should just know that. Um,
Speaker 1: when Matt was punching his hand, it was very mask
Speaker 1: and I'm also wearing it backwards hat. Yeah. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I showed it to an event. I showed it to
Speaker 1: an event the other day and Julio Taures said, yeah,
Speaker 1: you look very mask and I thought it was a
Speaker 1: great read. I felt very read by him. I wasn't
Speaker 1: trying to be masked. I just was too lazy to
Speaker 1: do my hairs aesthetic. Um, speaking about bringings, Matt, We're
Speaker 1: gonna ask you what we ask all of our guests,
Speaker 1: because what was the culture that made you say culture
Speaker 1: is for me? Which is our silly way of asking.
Speaker 1: What was like the little spark in Europe bringing that
Speaker 1: like made you say, wow, I love you know everything
Speaker 1: about pop culture? Right? Yeah? Um, I feel like I
Speaker 1: have to answers sort of. One is maybe less cliche.
Speaker 1: What is like, I mean, who cares about cliche? Just
Speaker 1: a cliche? This is like, I mean, it's like throwing
Speaker 1: fish out a shark. Has anyone ever fucking said there's no,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, there's no. I don't think there's a
Speaker 1: cliche at there's not. My defense is that, like I
Speaker 1: was a Beyonce fan before I was gay, Like before
Speaker 1: before I answered the call from since like the child
Speaker 1: since Um, the one song I remember like turning that
Speaker 1: switch in my head was Lose my Breath. The Leader
Speaker 1: post solo career, even because I don't know how the
Speaker 1: trivia listen you are you? Actually I'm much a late
Speaker 1: comer on Beyonce. Now I wouldn't be no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's but it's still no. He could still affect him
Speaker 1: the same way. But he's like, you know what year? What?
Speaker 1: What years? Or four? One of those a long time ago? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that that Destiny's Child Reunion album seems more recent than
Speaker 1: it is. Dangerously Love with the year after Beyonce with
Speaker 1: Destiny's Child two anyway, Um, okay, but no, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking I'm thinking of a different song then, because
Speaker 1: I remember. I remember my mom used to order from
Speaker 1: like avon, you know, like mail order cosmetics, and she
Speaker 1: got this free, like free a m FM radio with
Speaker 1: the headset. It was like in the nineties for sure,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is mine. Now you keep
Speaker 1: the makeup. And I remember I would listen to that
Speaker 1: and like wait for the Destiny's Child songs and so
Speaker 1: like constantly have it in, always waiting for the Destiny
Speaker 1: Child songs so I could turn it up and my
Speaker 1: brother and I am like for very different songs with
Speaker 1: wait for with our like tape recorders to put it
Speaker 1: in the thing and yeah. So that was like and
Speaker 1: that was literally like I don't think I was out,
Speaker 1: and well I know when I came out, but I
Speaker 1: wasn't until college, and I was like Beyonce was my
Speaker 1: outlet like pre like pre Gaga, pre all of the
Speaker 1: like if you like this artist like welcome, yeah, um yeah,
Speaker 1: she was one that it was like, I can say
Speaker 1: I like Beyonce and it's still Britney Spears. Was the
Speaker 1: same way I think where it's like I need to
Speaker 1: say I have a favorite singer. I can say Britney
Speaker 1: Spears and actually genuinely get behind it, and also I
Speaker 1: can still be in like because she's hot. And then
Speaker 1: later for me, it was like that best person became
Speaker 1: Kelly Clarkson and it started to become more difficult to say, well,
Speaker 1: I like her because she's hot, because the number one
Speaker 1: thing about Kelly isn't that she's hot, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And so what I'm gonna say it it's
Speaker 1: true you like Kelly because she sings fierce. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: not because she's hot. When you're trying to be straight
Speaker 1: at sixteen and you're walking around singing since you've been gone.
Speaker 1: People aren't like, oh, it's because he wants the banger, right,
Speaker 1: So you found covering Beyonce. Yeah, I hid my sexuality.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I feel like at the I'm just there's
Speaker 1: so much conjuring up in because it was also I mean,
Speaker 1: I had other there were other artists like obviously like
Speaker 1: the Backstreet Boys. I remember from this my first communion
Speaker 1: because I was raised Catholic and right, it was my
Speaker 1: first communion and we went to like the reception after
Speaker 1: like dinner, and I got this gift from my aunt
Speaker 1: and it was the Backstreet Boys album, but she bought
Speaker 1: it and it was in a gift bag that had
Speaker 1: that It was like the bag looked like the album.
Speaker 1: It was like a printed bag and it was basically
Speaker 1: like here tiny gaugeld. Right. It was not you know,
Speaker 1: like sky Blue album where they were all wearing Yeah.
Speaker 1: So you here's the Here's the gag for me is
Speaker 1: that you waited to get Millennium as a gift. I
Speaker 1: was going out to the story to get Millennium the
Speaker 1: day it opened. Bitch, No, I couldn't um right because
Speaker 1: what is that the first although the first album that
Speaker 1: I remember going and buying was was yeah, me too.
Speaker 1: So there were a lot of there were a lot
Speaker 1: of signs, sure, but it was the first like whoa, whoa,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, this means something else, right right, And
Speaker 1: then my other one that I was going to say
Speaker 1: was Desperate Housewives was the first. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: thank you so much much. Oh my god, that was
Speaker 1: the first show that I remember, like like, I remember
Speaker 1: seeing the commercials advertising Desperate Housewives before it started, and
Speaker 1: I remember in my eyes tears sprang to my eyes
Speaker 1: because I realized that we are going to talk about
Speaker 1: Desperate Housewives, and I got so happy that I started
Speaker 1: this is cry We're going down the shop. I started
Speaker 1: to understand, I understand, okay, we're going so I like
Speaker 1: literally I remember watching the commercials before it started, and
Speaker 1: I do remember thinking like, oh, this is gonna be
Speaker 1: like too crazy, and you loved it. The commercials made
Speaker 1: it seem like it was going to be like too
Speaker 1: campy before I knew what like camp was. Was it
Speaker 1: the commercial where it was Casera Sara was playing and
Speaker 1: it was the newspaper you are killing me. The newspapers
Speaker 1: are being thrown us everyone and they're all out in
Speaker 1: the gowns like David Chapelle, David Lall, David shot that,
Speaker 1: and they always they always would show that clip where
Speaker 1: the neighbor, the ginger woman was like she she was
Speaker 1: looking through the window and right, yeah, she saw whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't remember all of them. Do you remember Martha
Speaker 1: Huber's death scene when what's his face told her with
Speaker 1: the blender? Do you remember the scene where she I
Speaker 1: think was it that she was a three or where
Speaker 1: was it that she was with um Terry Hatcher where
Speaker 1: she talks about, oh my gosh, she talks about mincemeat.
Speaker 1: Do you remember that buck mince She's like she she
Speaker 1: knows that, like Terry knows something. And she's like and
Speaker 1: she's fucking crazy and she's like and she has a
Speaker 1: pie with her and she goes, no, I have a
Speaker 1: fun fact, Like she knows, like like Martha Hubert's like
Speaker 1: she knows that, like she knows that she like has
Speaker 1: the power in the situation. You know, it's so interesting.
Speaker 1: You know that's saying I'll make mincemeat out of you
Speaker 1: mince meat. It's like it's it's I don't remember the
Speaker 1: scenes obviously, but oh my god. That the first season
Speaker 1: was the first season is really really good. I just
Speaker 1: I loved it so much. And that was the first
Speaker 1: time where I was like, I have to I have
Speaker 1: to be home there on Sunday night. There was a
Speaker 1: time we were like out, it was like a holiday,
Speaker 1: and for some reason, they had a new episode of
Speaker 1: Desperate Housewife that's a tragedy. And it was before yeah,
Speaker 1: it was before we had like a DBR or anything.
Speaker 1: And we have to leave right now. I can't even
Speaker 1: talk about this because do you There was a scene
Speaker 1: there was an episode in the first season of Desperate
Speaker 1: Housewives where Susan is across the street at home and
Speaker 1: she's crying about something, and across the street there's a
Speaker 1: party happening, and she thinks that her daughter Julius at
Speaker 1: the party. So she goes over to the party and
Speaker 1: goes in the in the backyard and she finds like
Speaker 1: swim trunks on the floor, and she gets furious because
Speaker 1: she realizes, oh my god, my daughter's having sex in
Speaker 1: the pool. So she goes over to the pool and
Speaker 1: who comes up is Marsh across his son and Gabrielle's
Speaker 1: gardener that we're fucking in the pool. I missed that
Speaker 1: episode because my family was in Pennsylvania, so I had to.
Speaker 1: My dad was like flipping through the chat was in
Speaker 1: that scene came on and I was like, what's happening,
Speaker 1: What's happening on my favorite show that's also now it's gay?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I have to But of course I
Speaker 1: didn't get to watch it, and I had never seen
Speaker 1: that episode until years later because there was no DVR,
Speaker 1: no nothing. So what I'm saying is, this is the
Speaker 1: queer experience. This is the queer experience. It's a tragedy
Speaker 1: that you had to miss an episode of Desperate I
Speaker 1: have to go back. And that's like one of the
Speaker 1: few shows from that time that I don't like. I
Speaker 1: haven't seen it since one episode, like each one at
Speaker 1: a time I bought, like the book they had, like
Speaker 1: a book that came out at the end. Remember it
Speaker 1: as it was, Remember it as it was, because honestly,
Speaker 1: it's probably true. Yeah, just that's something where it's like,
Speaker 1: it should just be one season, like if it were
Speaker 1: now when it were acceptable to come out and do
Speaker 1: like a limited series that should have been Desperate Houseis
Speaker 1: for the first season and then just let it go,
Speaker 1: let it be perfect in some way. The second season
Speaker 1: was Alfree Woodard. But here's the thing, Alfree world. Yes. Always.
Speaker 1: When I heard they cast her, I was like, gag read.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know who she was, but that was
Speaker 1: I didn't know before Desperate house but then she opened
Speaker 1: the door. Ever boys, I think, yeah, I think you're
Speaker 1: right mad. It's like, um, it's like I feel like
Speaker 1: big little lie. Season one was just sort of like
Speaker 1: that is the modern iteration of what Desperate Housewives. Absolutely
Speaker 1: and I memory if Desperate Housewives was like four episodes
Speaker 1: or like it was. The first season was twenty four aps.
Speaker 1: That was when it was like standard. How many was
Speaker 1: there like six seasons, five or six? That thing went.
Speaker 1: That thing went for a long time. I think I
Speaker 1: had two hundred episodes, like it was fucking out there.
Speaker 1: But that was another show that was like the first
Speaker 1: golden age of TV modern times. And then pretty much
Speaker 1: because everything was on network TV, everything got super fucked
Speaker 1: up because of the writer's stripe. Like a lot of
Speaker 1: good promising shows died right away. Remember Pushing Days, the
Speaker 1: who I feel like maybe succumb to the writer. That
Speaker 1: was sort of weird. I mean I think it fucked
Speaker 1: I think I know it sucked up. Lost I mean
Speaker 1: Lost was so tied to its like narrative, and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden had to like be so fewer
Speaker 1: or like weird episodes like it just killed shows, whereas
Speaker 1: that what happen with cable now you could just say, okay,
Speaker 1: we're not doing it right. But yeah, but I think
Speaker 1: Desperate Housewives was the first one that I remembered like
Speaker 1: I need to watch this every week, and then I
Speaker 1: like subscribe to Entertainment Weekly. I had like my my
Speaker 1: like I would make yeah, we love Kristen. Her name
Speaker 1: is Kristen del Santo, snaw say we cut you off? Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: So used to subscribe the Entertainment Weekly, and I would
Speaker 1: like every season would make like a calendar, like Monday
Speaker 1: through Friday or Monday through Sunday, Like what when are
Speaker 1: my shows on? When? What did the schedule look like?
Speaker 1: And I don't imagine, right, I mean at that time
Speaker 1: it was like Desperate Housewives, like Race Anatomy before everyone
Speaker 1: was a lesbian and died. It's really sick. Lesbian is um.
Speaker 1: Lesbianism is so sick. I've always said that I think
Speaker 1: the series finale of Gray's Anatomy is going to be
Speaker 1: a fucking meteor hits the I like, when I heard
Speaker 1: that it was still on TV, I was like, are
Speaker 1: you shifting right? It's literally so shitty. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: like a filter on it now. It's horribly the only
Speaker 1: thing that I remember about grayce Anatomy was the episode
Speaker 1: where the guy from Friday Night Lights gets blown up
Speaker 1: by a bob. I mean, but insane, but like somehow
Speaker 1: that was grounded compared to remember the ferry boat disaster.
Speaker 1: That was crazy. I think I checked out before then. Oh,
Speaker 1: you got it right in town. Okay, that was well, well,
Speaker 1: Katherine Heigel was still on the show. Okay, yeah, here's
Speaker 1: here's the deal. When she left, that's when it got bad. Okay,
Speaker 1: you got out early. Were you going to say that
Speaker 1: you did like season two Desperate Housewives? I liked all
Speaker 1: of it. I liked all the two. I continue to
Speaker 1: watch us to the end. Yeah I was. I dropped
Speaker 1: off it like season five after Dana Delaney, right, Oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I did. I I kept watching it. I mean I
Speaker 1: have a vocabulary with it. Through Delaney's lesbian escape and yes,
Speaker 1: she escaped, she escaped with and she is she became
Speaker 1: a lesbian and escaped can I say season two was
Speaker 1: a gag? And here's why, because people shoot on season two.
Speaker 1: Here's the gag of season to remember brees whole alcoholism story. Yes,
Speaker 1: and when she's it's the end of an episode and
Speaker 1: she and like, Andrew her son is being a nightmare
Speaker 1: and oh my god, he was truly evil. Do you
Speaker 1: remember this, Matt vaguely? Okay, So he's so Andrew her
Speaker 1: son is trying to get um what's it called, uh
Speaker 1: when when when they break away from their parents patient, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's trying to get me ate it and um, so
Speaker 1: he's he's being a little ship and she's she's like
Speaker 1: going to a a. She dumps all this wine out
Speaker 1: in the kitchen and then like they get into this
Speaker 1: argument and then and then Andrew goes, you're such a
Speaker 1: fucking bit, like you know, not sucking, goes your beautiful bitch,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, your stone called bitch, you know that.
Speaker 1: And then she takes the wine bottle, throws it across
Speaker 1: the fucking kitchen. It chatters on the fridge, and then
Speaker 1: she walks over and she goes, I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do this. I'm sorry I didn't quite
Speaker 1: catch that I hate you. You know, the opposite of
Speaker 1: love isn't hate. It's a different. If you hate me,
Speaker 1: that means you still care, and that means I still
Speaker 1: have a chance to set you right. It's so good.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing we've come afted this, this whole conversation
Speaker 1: from Matt. I know, I'm so like amazing, Like I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's my alcoholism has just my brain doesn't work.
Speaker 1: I can't remember anything. The thing is, you said, Desperate
Speaker 1: Housewives and now here we are. You know what it's like.
Speaker 1: Do you remember um one Gabrielle to her kid was
Speaker 1: a doll. Here's here's the answer is always here's the
Speaker 1: thing about death. That's good that you don't remember it.
Speaker 1: You should remember that it was nice and fun and
Speaker 1: good camp and diva and gay and whatever. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: That show got truly heinous because also it feels like
Speaker 1: almost everyone on network television got into this place where
Speaker 1: they had like amazing first seasons and it was also
Speaker 1: good and then literally all at the same time they
Speaker 1: were like, oh my god, cancer cancer, it's cancer. She
Speaker 1: has cancer. Literally, that head cancer. Calista Flockhart on Brothers
Speaker 1: and Sisters Head cancer, gazy Head Cancer, Unlost, like they
Speaker 1: had a cancer storyline or a several. I think every
Speaker 1: show was just like we literally don't know what the
Speaker 1: to do. Give somebody cancer, it will last us the season, right.
Speaker 1: The one episode I remember very vividly is the one
Speaker 1: it was like one of those episodes. It was like
Speaker 1: the whole family has to gather around and watch this,
Speaker 1: and it was the shooting starring Laurie Metcalf, Honey, Yes,
Speaker 1: starring Laurie met Calf, And that was like that was
Speaker 1: ahead of its time. I mean it was, it was,
Speaker 1: but also in the midst of its time, I guess.
Speaker 1: I remember going to school the next day and all
Speaker 1: the basic girls, like it was really moving. It was
Speaker 1: that was actually really moving, but like I'm sure it was,
Speaker 1: but here, I guess. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: like the episode ended with Lynnette like getting up in
Speaker 1: front of a shooter and being like like Felicity Hoffman
Speaker 1: giving everything she had to be minus material, Like that
Speaker 1: was so what she had to do for the whole
Speaker 1: rest of the season of the series because she was
Speaker 1: so stuck at that. I think they all were just like,
Speaker 1: what's my storyline this? Okay? I mean, it was insane
Speaker 1: from the beginning, was it was, I don't know, because
Speaker 1: it was like a satire and like a murder mystery
Speaker 1: and like all these things, and like so it was
Speaker 1: operating in that world, and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: it was just like, no, it did that thing where
Speaker 1: it was like, well, what's gonna It's November, what's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a tornado. In Tornado episode, John Slattery
Speaker 1: getting paled by offense. Look, here's here, veniently, just when
Speaker 1: he was becoming a killer. Here's the thing. I agree
Speaker 1: with Palaside that show is crazy from the jump with
Speaker 1: fucking Mary Alice committing suicide over what like what was
Speaker 1: the reason again that you find out at the end
Speaker 1: of the season one that she killed herself being sad.
Speaker 1: I know, no, no, no, she she she had being
Speaker 1: shackmail she was being blackmailed or someone like her son. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: something like oh, now I know what it was. It
Speaker 1: was that she their son died and they got rid
Speaker 1: of him and they bury him in the background in
Speaker 1: the in the backyard or something. It just seems like
Speaker 1: it didn't. I mean, maybe my teenage stelf was like
Speaker 1: I wouldn't kill myself over that. I mean, like that's
Speaker 1: very you know, it's classics. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: kill myself over that, bearing a child in my backyard
Speaker 1: on my own, but it's that thing of that happens
Speaker 1: a lot. But I think any TV show, which is
Speaker 1: why Big Little Eyes was so great, was because it
Speaker 1: actually was satisfying where it's like it sets this thing
Speaker 1: up where that's so intriguing that it can't possibly be satisfied.
Speaker 1: It's like Lost, Like Lost is number one, where it's
Speaker 1: like you have them on this deserted island and it's
Speaker 1: also like like a mythology and there's magic and it's
Speaker 1: another time to mention. You can't wrap that up. So
Speaker 1: Desperate housewise, I think was I feel like I've lost
Speaker 1: the ability to watch television. Maybe it's because we grew
Speaker 1: up with those types of shows, but I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't even know where anything is going. I just like
Speaker 1: I don't have an end in mind for anything. That's
Speaker 1: also how I think about my own stuff. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know I could start because if you were
Speaker 1: to binge watch Desperate Housewives today, it would you would
Speaker 1: just go crazy. It would take forever to it would
Speaker 1: take forever and but you just wouldn't be able to
Speaker 1: keep trying. I mean that's why I like nothing to
Speaker 1: do it after that inspired No, I think you will
Speaker 1: enjoy it because I think it's like season one is
Speaker 1: a good soap. I can also like I have its
Speaker 1: sickly ability to binge like faster than the normal human.
Speaker 1: Well what do you like? Now? What shows do you like?
Speaker 1: I've bench like seven shows in the last week, Like
Speaker 1: I got like, there was a show I just watched
Speaker 1: that I've never heard of before. It called Please like Me.
Speaker 1: Do you know it? Yes? Yeah, it's so good. It's great.
Speaker 1: I start very gay. It's like there's like controvers to
Speaker 1: see in Australia because they like didn't know where to
Speaker 1: air it. Did they show butts um they did? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and maybe a little bit of Dick the Pilot is
Speaker 1: like really good. It just throws you into this like
Speaker 1: into his like world. Yeah. But I learned about it
Speaker 1: because I was talking with someone and they were like, what,
Speaker 1: like what's your show? What do you want to write?
Speaker 1: And I described what I'd want and then they were
Speaker 1: like that's please like me, And I was like, well fuck.
Speaker 1: But before you said that I feel like you would,
Speaker 1: you would write a beautiful show like that was similar
Speaker 1: in tone. Yeah. I was like, I'm just like Gay
Speaker 1: Seinfeldt Yeah, Gay Seinfelt, but like there's like an element
Speaker 1: of like that's different ground there's such a groundedness to it,
Speaker 1: right right, Yeah, you know Seinfeld is Will and Grave. Okay,
Speaker 1: there you go, Yes, twelve culture and you have to
Speaker 1: say it like a winey baby, um like me, yeah,
Speaker 1: that I just watched all of it's very binge a
Speaker 1: bole there's because there's only four seasons and they're like
Speaker 1: ten episodes or six episodes. Um. The marvelous Mrs Maisel
Speaker 1: impression that I liked it, Like like there's very few
Speaker 1: things that I watched that I'm like, this is not
Speaker 1: like I like it. I think it's very charming and
Speaker 1: well done, and I think she's a star. I just
Speaker 1: saw Dear Evan Hanson and I was someone was like
Speaker 1: that was terrible, and I was like, I liked it.
Speaker 1: That's just my Yeah, I guess it is it is.
Speaker 1: Have you seen it? No, I have. I've listened to
Speaker 1: the album for like three months because that's I listened
Speaker 1: to like Broadway albums without seeing the show because I'm
Speaker 1: I can't afford to like go to Broadway all the time,
Speaker 1: very very very expencent. And uh, I had no idea
Speaker 1: what the show was about. And I'd listened to the
Speaker 1: album and someone dies that. I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: had no idea. Yeah, anyway, would you believe it's devastating?
Speaker 1: Oh I cried the entire time. It's really fucking sad. Normal.
Speaker 1: Um no another one? Yeah not Yeah. Now all I
Speaker 1: do is watch stuff and cry. Um, I saw you
Speaker 1: appreciating the New Queer. I yes, I just started watching that.
Speaker 1: Yet that I was like, I just started bingeing it
Speaker 1: yesterday and was literally just sobbing on my couch. Just
Speaker 1: start watching it. How producer Joe's nodding you are you
Speaker 1: enjoying it? Hot? It's so good? Okay, so what are
Speaker 1: you enjoying it? Hot? Um'n't have time because I saw,
Speaker 1: like I saw a bunch of people being like, don't
Speaker 1: don't do this, we don't need this, okay, And I
Speaker 1: think everyone sort of came in with that mindset. I'm
Speaker 1: seeing everybody be like, oh wait a minute, no, this
Speaker 1: is really really yeah, no, they do it really well.
Speaker 1: There's only there's one episode. I'm not spoiling it, um,
Speaker 1: maybe a little. It's a white cop and they're I
Speaker 1: think they're all in the Atlanta, which is like the
Speaker 1: South but like kind of not yeah, and it's a
Speaker 1: white cop and they introduce it where the five queer
Speaker 1: guys are like driving to meet this guy and a
Speaker 1: cop pulls them over and it's the black guy of
Speaker 1: the five queer guys is driving, and it's the supertense
Speaker 1: moment where everyone's like, fuck, they pulled him over because
Speaker 1: he's black. And then it turns out that the cop
Speaker 1: that pulled them over is like the guy who nominated
Speaker 1: his friend and we just pulled you over as a joke,
Speaker 1: and it was like, what are you doing now? I
Speaker 1: have gone to this episode yet, but I hear that
Speaker 1: apparently there's some like you You're like, whoa, that's a
Speaker 1: weird moment. But apparently there's some payoff in the end
Speaker 1: where they do they have this moment where like then
Speaker 1: they have the guy that they're making over is also
Speaker 1: a white cop who voted for Donald truck and they
Speaker 1: like find his trump pen sign and the garage and um,
Speaker 1: then they have the the black guy. I don't know
Speaker 1: his name. I don't know any of Yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: that's I just ideentic. He's the culture guy. He just
Speaker 1: makes people cry. That's right. Literally, I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: know Will today. And he was by far the most engaging.
Speaker 1: He was like, you see the star, he should be
Speaker 1: the star. And then Jonathan was like he was like
Speaker 1: I get I get you too. He um he has
Speaker 1: the most salacious photos on Instagram. Yeah, he's a daddy
Speaker 1: too of two older kids. Right. Right, So they have
Speaker 1: this like conversation in a van while they're driving, and
Speaker 1: and it's very like they make it seem like it's
Speaker 1: really deep, and it maybe is, but it's sort of
Speaker 1: like they're just like, I'm black, I'm a cop. Like
Speaker 1: I guess we're friends now. I get that. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: feels a little simplistic, right it was. I mean maybe
Speaker 1: the conversation they had obviously they edited it down, but
Speaker 1: like maybe it was meaningful to them. But what's on camera?
Speaker 1: Like what you see? I was like, I don't think
Speaker 1: you solved anything. Like he's still going to go back
Speaker 1: like into his maid over home new hair products and
Speaker 1: like vote for Donald Trump again, right, right, So you
Speaker 1: didn't so I'm sorry, what's the watershed about this that
Speaker 1: everyone's really responded to it in such a way. There
Speaker 1: are just a lot of moments and and you've seen
Speaker 1: more episodes and maybe you can speak to this better
Speaker 1: ball aside, but like I feel like it's just like
Speaker 1: there's some some earnest moments of like them like really
Speaker 1: changing people's lives and people who they would like they
Speaker 1: will just cat walk into fucking rooms full of old
Speaker 1: Southern people and you're like Patty Harrison said this, she
Speaker 1: was like, I'm always I always get panicked. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: like tone it down for your own safety. But like
Speaker 1: they end up like charming the pants off for everybody,
Speaker 1: Like it's fine. They actually do, like I don't know,
Speaker 1: they change minds in the way that they would change
Speaker 1: like a white cops mind about how he views the
Speaker 1: black person um on the job. But like you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's it's very feel good and healing in
Speaker 1: a way that's appropriate to now. Okay, Yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like I've watched maybe five or four of them. Remember
Speaker 1: time is just right numbers um And the one that
Speaker 1: is the best is the guy that they make over
Speaker 1: is a gay guy. Oh, yeah, and he has to
Speaker 1: come out to his family, right yeah. And the ending
Speaker 1: is like him coming out and it's like that it's
Speaker 1: what got me. Oh, I would cry like a baby. Right.
Speaker 1: So it wasn't like when people come out, can I
Speaker 1: say that, Oh my god, that's what I get off?
Speaker 1: I mean, which is the appropriate use of that word?
Speaker 1: And I don't always use it the right way? That's
Speaker 1: none of us. But I was like, this is like traumatized,
Speaker 1: like im yeah, because the guy does it by like
Speaker 1: writing a note, and and I was like that's what
Speaker 1: I did, yeah, And it was very It wasn't I don't.
Speaker 1: I have no memory of what was in it, but
Speaker 1: my mom, who's who I gave it to, references it
Speaker 1: often and I'm like, God, that's gonna be weird. Do
Speaker 1: you ever want to give any interest in seeing that note? Again?
Speaker 1: Not really, I feel like any like every moment that
Speaker 1: ass is I'm like, I don't need to relive that
Speaker 1: every month. I'm sure it's framed somewhere, and like her purse,
Speaker 1: maybe like ten years, maybe we have like some more distance.
Speaker 1: I kind of would want to read back on what
Speaker 1: I was like as like a fucking yeah, I just
Speaker 1: love that your mom has like a museum and said,
Speaker 1: and this is the letter that he wrote me to
Speaker 1: say he was gay, and now he's one of the
Speaker 1: gayest people in media. This was the beginning. She refers
Speaker 1: to it that cryptically, it's always like, you know, like
Speaker 1: you said in your letter, can we chill? She's like
Speaker 1: Maxine Waters in it, She's like the letter whatever. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's very good. Yeah it got me. I was like
Speaker 1: got me from the first episode. At the end of
Speaker 1: there at the picnic table with that man and they're
Speaker 1: all crying, I'm like, oh my god. After i'd seen
Speaker 1: some of more episodes, like they have some like pretty,
Speaker 1: because I feel like I have a bunch of like
Speaker 1: pretty conventionally attractive people that they make up where it's
Speaker 1: like it's that like, oh, he took off his glasses,
Speaker 1: like and the first guys like pretty, whoa, he's he's right,
Speaker 1: And so I like that. I like that they started
Speaker 1: with the real US rough one. How long is each
Speaker 1: episode of Our Our Right? We've talked about it for
Speaker 1: about as long as one episode? Shady ho No, No,
Speaker 1: it's you should watch it, man, I know, I gotta
Speaker 1: watch it. I didn't watch the Ridge me. Neither me
Speaker 1: neither now, so I don't even know the original Courson
Speaker 1: Cresley vehicle, and now I deal with him every week.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that, like, uh, he like that
Speaker 1: the food guy. It was like the chopped guy, right,
Speaker 1: he's the chop guy, you know, went on to others. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Jay Rodriguez was in the telephone video and I think
Speaker 1: he definitely tried to Wait, did I see him in Rent? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think he was in Rent. I think he played
Speaker 1: I might played say that anybody know? You know what
Speaker 1: he was? Mark? He was Mark was Mark? Yeah, because
Speaker 1: to play Angel you have to be like, yeah, it
Speaker 1: would be like a real dancer. Oh okay, I think
Speaker 1: you're gonna say real feminist, Like I know that's no,
Speaker 1: you don't gonna be real fam I mean you have
Speaker 1: to be like it's like a very acrobatic dancer part.
Speaker 1: But I almost positive he was Mark. I will I
Speaker 1: will source that later and I'm sure i'll get some
Speaker 1: most cultures less fans confirming or correct thing. Did you
Speaker 1: probably probably did someone? Did you tell me about someone
Speaker 1: who played Mimi and was amazing? Dave said that to
Speaker 1: Myra Gray from Rent. She saw as Mimi and was
Speaker 1: from American Killer. Okay, that's yeah. Um, did you watch
Speaker 1: American You're like American person? Um, yes, but it depends
Speaker 1: on I stopped after a while. That's I also stopped
Speaker 1: after a while, and I was not chomping at the
Speaker 1: bit for the new season. I was a crazy American
Speaker 1: Idol fan, Like in beginning, I feel that from you, Like,
Speaker 1: what does that mean? I'm just saying because I feel
Speaker 1: like kindred spirit with you and she was the same one. Please,
Speaker 1: I like, I have to own it because I was.
Speaker 1: I was some like I would vote with like two
Speaker 1: phones at one Yeah. I voted for Kelly Clarkson three
Speaker 1: hundred times one night. Yeah, it was an all night
Speaker 1: extravagone would take like Tally's while I was doing There
Speaker 1: was a second season kind of like it was big,
Speaker 1: big clothes. I was the rare Reuben Studdard fan, good
Speaker 1: for you, but my mother was a big play Akin fan,
Speaker 1: and we that night would spend we would like be
Speaker 1: canceling out each other's votes. I mean the votes didn't count,
Speaker 1: Like they did not count. Let's let's set the record
Speaker 1: store right now. Clay was not going to win that show.
Speaker 1: I remember that season a finale where Ryan secrets, just like,
Speaker 1: this was so close a difference of two hundred thousand
Speaker 1: voters anyway, and later on he was like, it was
Speaker 1: so close a difference of seventy eight thousand votes. Only
Speaker 1: one million votes separated. This rigged, I mean, totally real outcome.
Speaker 1: I remember it's the very marketable contestant that wins well
Speaker 1: marketable for like a month, and then he died, so
Speaker 1: he did. He is alive. He is alive everyone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember I had c c D like Catholic school.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what it stands for. And I
Speaker 1: did it for like twelve years, Christian school, just to school.
Speaker 1: And it was on Wednesday nights, which is when at
Speaker 1: the results for American Idol, and I had to like
Speaker 1: race home from Catholic School to be my gayest self.
Speaker 1: Luckily it was a four hour episode, as those finales
Speaker 1: often work. It's just yeah, four hours of commercials and
Speaker 1: then Ryan Seacrest reading it's ever Levine to sing with Molina?
Speaker 1: Who's Melina? Fake contest that I just made up? Are
Speaker 1: you watching drag Race? Yes? Yes? Any any any discussion
Speaker 1: points you want to hit? Who's like who your favorites were?
Speaker 1: You rooting for, then I guess who you like, don't
Speaker 1: do I mean, alright, alright, and okay, because I do
Speaker 1: think you have a strong favorite, I feel like my
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't have any strong opinions, so my
Speaker 1: default favorite is Trixie. Okay, right, yeah, yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I went to This is Me Now just to like.
Speaker 1: But I was on a panel for the RuPaul's Drag
Speaker 1: Con in in New York, and um it was like
Speaker 1: bitter not bitter sweet, that might be the wrong word.
Speaker 1: But I was also there we were recording stuff for
Speaker 1: my podcast, and so like as a panelist, I got
Speaker 1: to go into like the green room, but they were like,
Speaker 1: you can't record anything in here, so if you want
Speaker 1: to put on your podcast hat, you have to stand
Speaker 1: with the rest of the like chum with like the reporters.
Speaker 1: So I went from like sitting in the room and
Speaker 1: like eating cookies and drinking coffee and you know, with
Speaker 1: all the queens, and then to be like being with
Speaker 1: all the reporters being like give us a quote for
Speaker 1: like one second. But I was sitting in the room
Speaker 1: and Trixie walked by and stopped in her tracks and
Speaker 1: stared at me. For a full minute and it was
Speaker 1: borderline uncomfortable. And I was like, did you recognize you that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And she was like you do that thing and I
Speaker 1: was like, and she'd hurt me on throwing shade. I
Speaker 1: didn't growing Shape podcast, and so we like Reminisce. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, now we're friends friends. That was our one interaction.
Speaker 1: So that's why we like Trixie. I think Trixie is
Speaker 1: a comedian in a real way. Yeah, And I mean
Speaker 1: I think the one person who makes me scream out
Speaker 1: loud the most while I'm watching it alone in my
Speaker 1: apartment is Kennedy. I would say that's that's why I
Speaker 1: think that the top three will include Trixie and Kennedy,
Speaker 1: because I think there's a visceral reaction to both of
Speaker 1: them that I think has always been inherent in them
Speaker 1: and is refined now. I don't know who that third
Speaker 1: person will be. It makes sense for me that it's
Speaker 1: b B because it's just so good. I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: a Tricksie Kennedy BB top three because it's like, you
Speaker 1: love Tricksie because she's a comedian. You know, she's got
Speaker 1: jokes like it's it's good, it's good. Comedy, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, it's really funny tricks And I was
Speaker 1: watching last night I was literally laughing out loud it's
Speaker 1: so funny. And then with Kennedy it's like that's just
Speaker 1: so fucking funny, like her coming out in that outfit
Speaker 1: in the beginning in the workroom, that to me is
Speaker 1: like how to control funny? And her drag is so
Speaker 1: so high level. Yeah, if there's so many I have
Speaker 1: so many thoughts. The one is have you have you
Speaker 1: heard of at any of the bab is the mole?
Speaker 1: I don't know if like how does that pay off
Speaker 1: in a way? That's like I don't know, but that's
Speaker 1: like does anything pay off? Like I mean sure, I
Speaker 1: think yes. All these like weird rules were like nothing
Speaker 1: actually makes sense. It's all just Ruse show and everything
Speaker 1: ends up the way that RU wants. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: that Ru sat down at the beginning of All Stars
Speaker 1: three and before they had even cast, and I think
Speaker 1: Ruce said, Okay, how can we fucking gag the kids?
Speaker 1: I don't think she said. I don't think she said, Okay,
Speaker 1: who should we cast? Like let's like, um talk about personalities,
Speaker 1: let's cast the show. I think she said how can
Speaker 1: we make this season of All Stars three a fucking
Speaker 1: Gaga rune? And that's where I think they started. And
Speaker 1: so I do think something is coming, right, I mean
Speaker 1: something is coming right, like with the handmade sale ship,
Speaker 1: like right right, yeah, something is coming, um my other
Speaker 1: thing and this is more like I don't know. I
Speaker 1: like Tricksie, I think because I can tell I feel
Speaker 1: like I relate to that style of not style. What
Speaker 1: am I trying to say? I I feel the like
Speaker 1: comedy struggle a little bit like you can feel the
Speaker 1: like I'm not. I don't feel confident in my own
Speaker 1: humor like you think, especially when you go back on
Speaker 1: the season that Trixie was on what was it, season six,
Speaker 1: where it's like, yeah, I don't know, there's like a
Speaker 1: the approach to drag. It feels very relatable to like
Speaker 1: people like us, right, It's like, oh, I would approach
Speaker 1: this as a comedian through that filter, but like so
Speaker 1: I would overpain and I would like be a little
Speaker 1: like quippy, you know in confessional. So yeah, for sure,
Speaker 1: I get that I'm gonna do this, do it, do it,
Speaker 1: do it, blow it? When and when he drink wine
Speaker 1: it We were just recording UM in l A for
Speaker 1: my podcast and it was with the producer we don't
Speaker 1: normally work with, not Barry. Barry was there, but we
Speaker 1: had like rent a studio and the guy was like,
Speaker 1: he needs to blow his nose, and Barry had to
Speaker 1: be like, that's just what he sounds like. He Verry
Speaker 1: later was like, he said, oh my god, like they
Speaker 1: were in like this. It was one of those fancy
Speaker 1: studios where they're like in a separate room watching you
Speaker 1: and I was in the room just like being my
Speaker 1: nasally self. And when did you find out that he
Speaker 1: said that? I don't know, like a couple of weeks later.
Speaker 1: If it had been like minutes later, you could have
Speaker 1: screamed homophobia and sued them, and that would have been
Speaker 1: really fun for you and probably very financially beneficial. Right Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure it's on tape somewhere, so we
Speaker 1: can still do it right right, work at them. We
Speaker 1: talked about some before we move on to anything, somebody
Speaker 1: talk about some guests you have coming up in this
Speaker 1: new season. Um. Yeah, I was in l A and
Speaker 1: we taped a bunch with UM your fortune this week?
Speaker 1: Fortune was this week. Nicol Bayer was last week, she's
Speaker 1: going to judge the Snatch. You know. I I talked
Speaker 1: to her because I was like, that is my one
Speaker 1: goal in life is to be a judge. Get there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what did you spill any t No, only that, like
Speaker 1: it was amazing, which is what I expected. I was
Speaker 1: just a bad interview where I didn't get to be like,
Speaker 1: tell me something that nobody knows. Um, So it was fortunate.
Speaker 1: Next week is going to be generally in caper Land.
Speaker 1: Never heard of them. Actually, I don't know them. I
Speaker 1: don't know that. I imagine they're pretty foreign to this audience. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't think anyone knows them. The one
Speaker 1: thing we just recorded that I'm excited about. It's been
Speaker 1: a long time in the making. But we're doing like
Speaker 1: a Harry Potter episode because I'm like, I don't know her.
Speaker 1: We just cover really obscure talk. But I had never
Speaker 1: really been high before, and so we went to Harry
Speaker 1: Potter World or was the Wizening World, and I got
Speaker 1: super high at like eleven in the morning. You know.
Speaker 1: We just came from right but we went to the
Speaker 1: one in l A, which, yeah, we've been high there.
Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, it was an experience, and there
Speaker 1: was there was a moment that we got on tape
Speaker 1: because we recorded the whole thing where I like realized
Speaker 1: I'm high and start laughing for like a solid two
Speaker 1: minute straight beautiful God, and it's I love it. So
Speaker 1: you went on the Harry Potter ride when you were high? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was incredible. One is the one that we did.
Speaker 1: We didn't do the big ride. No, girl, we're gonna
Speaker 1: take you to the one either Orlando or l A.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do. Wait, why didn't you end up doing
Speaker 1: it the first time you scared? The line is that
Speaker 1: it is like a roller coaster. It's not a roller coaster.
Speaker 1: It is a dark ride, which is essentially the way
Speaker 1: to say a ride that passes through uh scenes. It
Speaker 1: doesn't even go like fast, It's just it gives the
Speaker 1: illusion that you are traveling fast at points. The scariest
Speaker 1: moment is that you fully are an Aragons pussy like
Speaker 1: Aragon just comes at you like like oh. And then
Speaker 1: the mentors come out and they stepped their pussy up
Speaker 1: from the movies, let me tell you, because now they
Speaker 1: real it might have been a lot for me at
Speaker 1: that time. It's just like essentially that's what I like.
Speaker 1: Of course that's that's a lot of stimulus because I'm
Speaker 1: We did edibles too, and it was like I just
Speaker 1: need to keep eating them. That's not the way you
Speaker 1: do it. I think I had like three gummies. The
Speaker 1: gummies are like yeah, right, and so it wasn't like
Speaker 1: but but it was enough. But the problem was we
Speaker 1: we went there at like eleven am and I also
Speaker 1: was drinking and it was very hot. It was like
Speaker 1: it doesn't sound comfortable, no, And we waited for the
Speaker 1: fucking hippogriff ride for like forty five minutes that by
Speaker 1: the time it was done, I was like I've had
Speaker 1: enough and I got safe for me to be here anymore,
Speaker 1: Like there are children everywhere. These two like very nice
Speaker 1: young boys came up to me and we're like, oh,
Speaker 1: we love your videos, and I was like, I am
Speaker 1: so fucked up right now. There's literally we were listening
Speaker 1: to it today and I was like, I can't listen
Speaker 1: to this. This is the one part where I was
Speaker 1: like I can't meet interacting with people. I can't. And
Speaker 1: I remember because I told them I was like, are
Speaker 1: you having fun at Disney? And they were like we're
Speaker 1: not at Disney. And I was like, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: And then we took a picture and then they had
Speaker 1: me sign it on Snapchat and I just signed right
Speaker 1: over their faces and I had no idea. They were like,
Speaker 1: can you redo it? Like so much more than we thought.
Speaker 1: He dakes fine all day. Most of the time when
Speaker 1: I meet people, I'm like, you know, just not that person.
Speaker 1: I like, you know, yeah I drink this time, I
Speaker 1: was like yeah. And that was They were like the
Speaker 1: probably the youngest people who i've and they were these
Speaker 1: two like two gay kids who like think they were boyfriends.
Speaker 1: And they were like these chubby like kids with glasses.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, like I'm setting a
Speaker 1: terrible example for this. You're not And you were getting
Speaker 1: your life that day on edibles at a theme park. Honey,
Speaker 1: that is true. I mean they could grow up to
Speaker 1: be that. There you go. And also you didn't pay
Speaker 1: to go there, did you? Um you were on someone
Speaker 1: else's d I M, yeah, I guess you're showing them
Speaker 1: that you can get yours. Actually it's very aspirationally think,
Speaker 1: so I think you should be so proud. Okay, well
Speaker 1: we're going to listen to that episode done. Yeah, that's amazing,
Speaker 1: And we interviewed, um Luna Love Good Luna, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: love her, and we were just talking about how like
Speaker 1: it's the one one of the few times that we've
Speaker 1: ever heard like a Harry Potter actor talking about like
Speaker 1: their actual like like yeah, like where she was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not Luna love Good and like people assocay and she,
Speaker 1: of all of them, was like, I am this character,
Speaker 1: but now she's like, I've been in therapy for ten years.
Speaker 1: Some people stop sucking talking to me about Luna Loveday.
Speaker 1: But we got the gist, right. She was like fascinating,
Speaker 1: you know you there's two sides to that. It's like
Speaker 1: those those actors careers started and we're huge from the
Speaker 1: second they were cast, like forget it and they will
Speaker 1: continue to work. I think umill at least Emma and
Speaker 1: Harry I don't and uh whet Daniel, I don't really
Speaker 1: know what what in a movie with Lindsay Lohan recently.
Speaker 1: It's true true that yeah, and then I guess the rest.
Speaker 1: But the rest of them, it's like what's going on?
Speaker 1: Sure that's interesting, but you know who about that? I
Speaker 1: would love to see that. Harry Potter. Where are they now? Um?
Speaker 1: But you know who's fucking slays It is Domhall Gleason,
Speaker 1: who is in the Star Wars movies and he's about
Speaker 1: to be in that new movie with the Bunnies. He
Speaker 1: played Bill. And also, so if you go to Harry
Speaker 1: Potter and Orlando, they don't just have the Wizarding World
Speaker 1: hogs Me, they have the Wizarding World diagon Alley. So
Speaker 1: this happened like I guess like five years ago they
Speaker 1: made this. No, maybe that's wrong, probably more recent than that,
Speaker 1: but you know, it's it's fairly recent enough where I
Speaker 1: was like, I went to the ride and they have
Speaker 1: the pre show and the star of it is Bill Weasley,
Speaker 1: who's not a big character in either the books or
Speaker 1: the movies, but because it takes place at Green Goots,
Speaker 1: he ran Green Gots and so he's like the MC
Speaker 1: of the whole pre show experience, and he's in the
Speaker 1: ride itself, so thousands of people see him every day.
Speaker 1: But in the time between that ride coming out, where
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, that's crazy, this actor is like
Speaker 1: getting so much play. He's actually become huge, huge, And
Speaker 1: so now I think people are going to start going
Speaker 1: to that attraction and seeing him and being like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I totally forgot he was in these movie movies.
Speaker 1: That evil guy from Star Wars. That's the fucking crazy
Speaker 1: evil guy from Star Wars who's like lit doing too much. There.
Speaker 1: You did you see the Last Jedi? I did? I
Speaker 1: think so you can't remember because of alcohol? No, I did?
Speaker 1: I did? I saw it. Yeah, that was good. That
Speaker 1: was don't you know what, We're not gonna We're not
Speaker 1: gonna like price some opinions out of why not that
Speaker 1: this is that he goes I liked just find like
Speaker 1: he's not gonna you know what, He's not gonna like
Speaker 1: take us dance, come on. My most opinion that I
Speaker 1: that I now it's coming back to me is the
Speaker 1: scene where like Yoda sets a tree on fire. Oh sure,
Speaker 1: that was the most Like there's so much of that
Speaker 1: movie that I feel like I dreamed but I only
Speaker 1: saw it once, which just like a bad sign for
Speaker 1: me in a Star Wars movie that I I wanna.
Speaker 1: I do want to see it again, just to see
Speaker 1: Laura Dern kamikaze into spoiler alert spoiler to learn for
Speaker 1: the If you're not one of the billion that have
Speaker 1: seen this movie. I don't really watched most things once,
Speaker 1: which is maybe why I can have so much difficulty
Speaker 1: recalling Not anymore for Desperate Housewives again, the one movie
Speaker 1: I've seen twice has called me by your Name interesting,
Speaker 1: which I know you guys haven't well and I actually
Speaker 1: there them. Yeah, I feel like I should see it again.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it could be one of my my rants.
Speaker 1: Got it interesting because I read the book before I
Speaker 1: saw the movie and loved the book so much. I
Speaker 1: read it when I was home for Christmas, so it
Speaker 1: was like in my childhood home. I was like, that's
Speaker 1: a very scandalous book. Also, I was like, I need
Speaker 1: to read this like in the bathroom. I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't be like in front of my parents reading what
Speaker 1: are you reading? Right? Just a book someone coming into
Speaker 1: a peach. But Army Hammer ruined that movie, thank you.
Speaker 1: I also agree he was miscast. Right, he's eighty years old,
Speaker 1: he has like four generations of children, he has no muscle,
Speaker 1: man right, his leg don't look like well, twigs weird
Speaker 1: vines like they're not. You guys are crazy. Timothy was amazing.
Speaker 1: Timothy was amazing. I agree they should have cast somebody
Speaker 1: younger than Army Hammer, right, right, just so that it
Speaker 1: didn't look so leccherous every time they hooked up, Because
Speaker 1: every time that they hooked up, I was I was
Speaker 1: always like, God, damn, he's so much older than that
Speaker 1: kid that he looks twice his age. Yeah, like Timothy
Speaker 1: was believably a kid. Part of me should feel like
Speaker 1: relieved because it gives me cover as an eighty year
Speaker 1: old man who would like you are read a lot older?
Speaker 1: Not but I pray on children like Timothy. So yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I have some have some very problematic you know what
Speaker 1: type of interests you But I'm like republic about So
Speaker 1: I feel like people came to like, who do you
Speaker 1: like famous? That's young? Tom Daley was always fun but yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean he yeah, he married a forty year old,
Speaker 1: so I feel less bad. Um Nick Jonas, Um yeah, Nick,
Speaker 1: but he's fine. I don't feel I mean he's older now.
Speaker 1: But Harry Harry style, yeah insane, I guess you love. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Harry was always my likes. Yeah right, you like you
Speaker 1: like a boyish type, I guess. So. Yeah, it's creepy
Speaker 1: to admit, but it's not Seawan Mendez right, I mean
Speaker 1: like Sean Mendez. I feel like it's the youngest person
Speaker 1: that I'll ever know of, Like I don't think i'll
Speaker 1: know like a younger person. What's gonna get freaky is
Speaker 1: they're gonna the pop stars are gonna start getting younger
Speaker 1: and younger, and we're gonna be like, what the fuck,
Speaker 1: Like we're gonna be like, oh, these are kids, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden we're going to realize what it
Speaker 1: felt and how fucked up it was the way everyone
Speaker 1: treated Britney Spears. Like the older I get, the more
Speaker 1: I realized how fucking crazy the Britney Spears thing was
Speaker 1: because they had her stomping down that hallway in that
Speaker 1: Catholic school uniform she was sixteen, and then it was
Speaker 1: a national topic her virginity. Yeah, that was weird. Is sick.
Speaker 1: And anyone that's like wondering why like things are the
Speaker 1: way they are now need only look at what we
Speaker 1: did to her because she was too young to be
Speaker 1: representing what she represented. Yeah, but we can still for
Speaker 1: now just like fun over Harry, Sorry, go ahead. Yeah. No.
Speaker 1: I always felt like when I was at buzz Feed,
Speaker 1: I became like the boy band, Like I'm gonna be like,
Speaker 1: because I'm like a teenage girl, and I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of gay guys feel that way, just like
Speaker 1: we didn't have childhood. So it's also not possible that
Speaker 1: we can hook up with them, right right, Well, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to like say, me and Harry will never
Speaker 1: You're right, don't say that, don't put that in the atmosphere.
Speaker 1: Actualize that, actualize that. Right we have met at this point, Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: And did you get any bi vibes from him or
Speaker 1: gay vibes from him? And I'm going to fully ask
Speaker 1: the question, so you don't have to come out and
Speaker 1: just say it. I don't know if I'm allowed. No,
Speaker 1: I don't have any information. That's fine, I'm that is
Speaker 1: one of the things that I want to like. I
Speaker 1: want to put that energy out into the world. So
Speaker 1: I'll say yes, yeah, good, good, good, But I'd like
Speaker 1: have a fear inside of me that it's not true.
Speaker 1: But I have no information. I think he um and
Speaker 1: I don't want to speculate about his sexuality, but I
Speaker 1: think that there might be something going. I think he
Speaker 1: is a Kinsey four point five. I just feel like
Speaker 1: when you're like that kind of famous and also like
Speaker 1: that style of fame where you're just like, I don't
Speaker 1: give a shit about anything. It's like, yeah, you'd probably yeah.
Speaker 1: And I also think if you've dated Taylor Swift, you
Speaker 1: are gay. I'm not wrong, not wrong, I mean literally,
Speaker 1: he's He's the modern day Marlon Brandjo. He just sucks
Speaker 1: anything that he see. Hopefully just want to be his mailbox.
Speaker 1: You know you want to mail his mail. This show
Speaker 1: is called male box mailbox and Ali, okay, well listen,
Speaker 1: it is time to move on to I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Which is our you know, I guess our? Our swan
Speaker 1: song of of every episode will be, uh, take one
Speaker 1: minute to rail against something in culture that's just doesn't
Speaker 1: seem right to us? Yeah, yeah, And um, we're privileged
Speaker 1: to we have bellas. I here, who's gonna slay? Um?
Speaker 1: I think you should go first, won't? Oh god, I
Speaker 1: didn't com prepare the you are you you're kidding? I'll
Speaker 1: go first? That on? No, no, no, no no no,
Speaker 1: I can now I have something, I have something to
Speaker 1: have something. Don't don't be a hero, I can go
Speaker 1: for a first. All right. This is Matt Rodgers, is
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey? His times are Joe's hot
Speaker 1: producers turning the level of down the game down? Time starts.
Speaker 1: You're being very passive aggressive today hot peruser Joe with
Speaker 1: your turning down of the dials. It's fine, he needs
Speaker 1: to he's trying to help being very passive. Glasses of
Speaker 1: wine in Okay, this is Matt Rodgers is I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Facebook,
Speaker 1: it's turning you into monsters. You guys gotta think for yourself.
Speaker 1: Get stopped attacking everyone online just because you see an
Speaker 1: opportunity to think, Okay, this is a human being. Is
Speaker 1: it going to be more productive to just Facebook message
Speaker 1: that person have a conversation with them? Can I tell
Speaker 1: you something right now, every time I've had a Facebook
Speaker 1: interaction that's been public, it is a lot more vicious
Speaker 1: than when I reach out to the person privately and
Speaker 1: we're able to have a conversation. Everyone posting and sending
Speaker 1: everything's in comments and things like that. Just know that
Speaker 1: it is more transparent that you think that you're trying
Speaker 1: to get likes. Understand, we don't not know that you
Speaker 1: want attention. I'm not saying that you can't use Facebook
Speaker 1: to make your salient points to say things that you
Speaker 1: need to say that I'll say this again, and I
Speaker 1: say this a lot separate things. Do I want to
Speaker 1: say this thing or do I need to say this thing?
Speaker 1: If you need to say this thing, go on, honey.
Speaker 1: If you want to say something, it might be harmful.
Speaker 1: You might be hurting someone in a real way. So
Speaker 1: I don't think the honey Facebook, which I deleted today,
Speaker 1: I no, thank you. I don't think and that's one
Speaker 1: minute that wasn't more edifying. I don't think, Well, it's
Speaker 1: because something it's something I really feel, and I just
Speaker 1: think that it's actually become something harmful. I think it's
Speaker 1: a place that people go nowadays when they have a
Speaker 1: bad feeling. I think it's become somewhere where you dump
Speaker 1: bad feelings. And I think it's a place where you
Speaker 1: dump negativity because you're not thinking about what it really
Speaker 1: is making you said, or a productive way to go
Speaker 1: about solving that thing for yourself or for humanity. And
Speaker 1: so you go to Facebook and you put it there
Speaker 1: so that other people can react to it and you
Speaker 1: can get attention for it, which I don't think is
Speaker 1: what you're really hurting about it, and so I've deleted it.
Speaker 1: I kind of hope that everyone just like takes a
Speaker 1: break from it. I don't think I mean not not
Speaker 1: saying that all like start something, but I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: like I think I will start a movement, is what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Now. What I'm saying is like it's just
Speaker 1: becomes so ugly, like you don't care about this at all,
Speaker 1: but there was just like some like stupid fucking like
Speaker 1: u c B like controversy, and like the UCB community
Speaker 1: will just kick around this controversy so hard, and like
Speaker 1: it just becomes this bubble. Like you know, we have
Speaker 1: like all these social media bubbles, and like they literally
Speaker 1: exist to destroy communities, like they were created for that reason.
Speaker 1: So understand that, like we're not existing in in the world.
Speaker 1: We're existing in a small bubble. And all you're doing
Speaker 1: is hurting that you actually have a lot in common with.
Speaker 1: So please have conversations and not fights, because they do
Speaker 1: change the way that people think about you. And that's
Speaker 1: a shame because at the end of the day, the
Speaker 1: reason that you're friends with everyone on Facebook and your
Speaker 1: in your social media communities because you like them and
Speaker 1: want to be friends with them and have interests with
Speaker 1: them and things in common with them. And I think
Speaker 1: that we can all solve a lot of problems if
Speaker 1: we start looking at the positive and start celebrating and
Speaker 1: start problem solving instead of attacking and trying to make
Speaker 1: the community smaller. Um for arbitrary reasons. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't like this political talk. Well, it's that's why I said, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm ready, I've got one. Okay, this is I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey, and it's times watches be about like
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey, cheesecake like or something like frivolous.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey, boone Yang and his time
Speaker 1: starts now, I don't think so honey. People who are
Speaker 1: trying to do away with the Oxford comma, bitch, I
Speaker 1: need to know that my list ends with discreet items.
Speaker 1: I cannot have gypsies, tramps, and thieves and think tramps
Speaker 1: and thieves are one item paired together. You do you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I need gypsies, comma, tramps, comma,
Speaker 1: and thieves, period, bitch. I need to know that all
Speaker 1: of these things are being listed in in order that
Speaker 1: makes sense to me, and that they're being separated and
Speaker 1: demarc hated by a punctuation mark. People are saying, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's the Oxford English Dictionary or Chicago Elements of Style.
Speaker 1: Whatever the fuck is trying to say that the Oxford
Speaker 1: comma is no longer grammatically relevant. But I'm here to
Speaker 1: tell you that I need to know how to process
Speaker 1: in in long form, in prose, whatever. I need to
Speaker 1: know what the items are so that I can make
Speaker 1: sense of them. Brain, tramps and thieves. They are not
Speaker 1: a pair. There are different things gypsies, comma, tramps comma,
Speaker 1: and thieves, period. And that's why I meant, can I
Speaker 1: ask you legit a question when you have three things blank, blank,
Speaker 1: and blank, you do put the comma between the second
Speaker 1: thing and that time, I'm saying, yes, you do, you do? Okay.
Speaker 1: I think this might be a difference of opinion amongst
Speaker 1: English teachers everywhere. Yeah, it's a recent phenomenon where I'm
Speaker 1: getting into this argument with my lovely, lovely, lovely copy
Speaker 1: editor by work, who is you know, claims to be
Speaker 1: like a you know, it's knowledgeable and all things grammar.
Speaker 1: They are the copy editor exactly there. This is the
Speaker 1: this is the gig. But she's saying the Oxford comma
Speaker 1: is technically no longer correct, and I'm saying, no, Sherry,
Speaker 1: there was just like a lawsuit over it, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know any details about it, but I know
Speaker 1: there was a lot. I saw a headline there you
Speaker 1: go in the newspaper. All you need to know these
Speaker 1: days is with the headline this theme is communication. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's the theme. I have a question for you. Do
Speaker 1: you think because we write Vulture recaps together nowadays, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you think I'm a bad grammar sometimes sentence. Do you
Speaker 1: think I'm a bed grammar? I think you. I think
Speaker 1: I my job. It's too sometimes you put the sometimes
Speaker 1: you end the sentence too soon. And I'm thinking, just
Speaker 1: just just sounds like because I'm very I'm very colloquial,
Speaker 1: and Bowen is more um pros so anyway, and so
Speaker 1: that's what makes us so special, right right, But no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's fine. We're a team. Okay, don't okay, you know what,
Speaker 1: there's no preditional pressure. I don't want to see you shaking,
Speaker 1: but Comicla, you need to. You are at award winning
Speaker 1: people's trial, right, you can watch you and Lisa R
Speaker 1: Trixie Mattel will stop on her traps and look at
Speaker 1: scare you down for a minute. I can't believe a minute.
Speaker 1: That was too long. It was very long where I
Speaker 1: was like, this is uncomfortable. Was it like a bit
Speaker 1: or was it like trick? Yeah, it was going on
Speaker 1: like a comically long time. So I love it then,
Speaker 1: but I don't. I couldn't tell if it was like
Speaker 1: is there something on my face? Yeah? There you go?
Speaker 1: Of course, of course the vanquisher of Pearl of of
Speaker 1: Trixie was Pearl. Of course, now realized that Pearl once
Speaker 1: defeated Trixie Mattel and lip sync. That's so funny, stupid, um,
Speaker 1: this is going to be beautiful. Okay, this is matt
Speaker 1: bella size. I don't think so, honey, and his time
Speaker 1: starts now, I don't think so, honey. Article clickbait headlines
Speaker 1: that tell me how to feel before I even read
Speaker 1: the article. Do you know what I'm talking about? Articles
Speaker 1: with headlines clickbake headlines that say Tanya Harding killed a
Speaker 1: baby and you won't believe how much you'll smile, Like
Speaker 1: I that is a fake headline that I just made up.
Speaker 1: And I just made up. I mean I thought of
Speaker 1: it or leier when I was thinking of this seconds.
Speaker 1: The problem with that headline is not the first part,
Speaker 1: it's the second part. Let me decide how I'll feel.
Speaker 1: Tom Harden kills a baby. Okay. The worst headlines are,
Speaker 1: you know, fucking a possum did this, and you'll have
Speaker 1: all the fields. All the fields is the worst of words.
Speaker 1: Too many fields for you to put it one statement seconds.
Speaker 1: Oh god, Chrissy Teagan, fuck you and that's one minute.
Speaker 1: Don't fuck you? No, no, no, no no, that's it's true.
Speaker 1: I don't want to exceed a minute. But my, my,
Speaker 1: my train of thought there is that there are so
Speaker 1: many headlines where like Chrissy Taken will tweet something about
Speaker 1: imagining knowledge and it'll be like Chrissy Teagan had this
Speaker 1: to say about skittles and you'll get your life, and
Speaker 1: it's like I won't. There is a nurse somewhere with
Speaker 1: the same Twitter as Christie Sagan and no one gives
Speaker 1: a fuck. There's a nurse in South Dakota whose Twitter
Speaker 1: is popping no one. Some tweet I saw up once
Speaker 1: that was like, you know, Twitter is a place where
Speaker 1: like your local accountant gets hundreds of thousands of retweets,
Speaker 1: and like your favorite comedian talks about what toothbrush they use,
Speaker 1: it's like it's for like not stars. Wow, it's that's
Speaker 1: actually real of culture. Number one hundred and six. Twitter
Speaker 1: is for not stars. You follow me on Twitter dot com.
Speaker 1: I think you hit on it. I think you hit
Speaker 1: on a real nerve. I make a good nerve that
Speaker 1: that needed to be had. I got too excited once
Speaker 1: I started going, No, but you had everything because you
Speaker 1: you did. I don't you understore the assignment. There was
Speaker 1: the belloside growl. Have had people like names that labeled
Speaker 1: that yet. No, but I was just listening back to
Speaker 1: a podcast episode of mine, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: love I do that too much? Need to? You need angrier?
Speaker 1: Every time you do you do grown. Every time there's
Speaker 1: there's a there's a next, I'm like, Oh, Boone's butthole puckers,
Speaker 1: My butthole puckers. Baby, all I want like a dolphins
Speaker 1: surfacing you for talking about the butthole pucker because I
Speaker 1: thought that might have been something that was a bizarre
Speaker 1: about me. But sometimes when you're extra attracted, your butt
Speaker 1: hole will the thing I'm probably most embarrassed to admit that.
Speaker 1: I'll admit now that we're one glass of wine deep?
Speaker 1: Is that? Do you ever like look at a hot
Speaker 1: person's Instagram and your mouth waters? I do, what this
Speaker 1: hasn't happened to me. It's happened, and I think it's
Speaker 1: my brain signals getting mixed up. I feel a tingle
Speaker 1: in my pelvis before I get into that's normal something
Speaker 1: when someone my penis it fills with blood. This mouthwatering
Speaker 1: thing is interesting because it feels it's like augustatory things
Speaker 1: like augustus gloop. If it's like it's like you're tasting him.
Speaker 1: I think that the word for that is mouth watered over.
Speaker 1: Who tell us? I mean like every person on Instagram,
Speaker 1: like my Instagram is just like pure DELI counter like
Speaker 1: just meet meet men stars. No, I do draw the line.
Speaker 1: I don't know why there's no difference now some but
Speaker 1: now that like only fans is a thing, right yea
Speaker 1: where it's like all of these male models quote like
Speaker 1: basically do porn and think that they're like not porn stars.
Speaker 1: But it's like, yeah, you exist for people to jack off,
Speaker 1: which is great, which is like more power to Yeah, sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, no, my my Instagram is pure shame. I
Speaker 1: feel say nothing, but you said pure. Deli counter, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, DELI counter that meat meat. Yeah, it is gross.
Speaker 1: The best is when those like dogs, essentially those meat boys,
Speaker 1: like when they try to be funny, right, you're like me,
Speaker 1: I didn't think so that is. Yeah, when it's like
Speaker 1: a shirtless picture where like you can see their penis lining,
Speaker 1: like you can see their asshole hairs, and it's like
Speaker 1: thinking about pizza, it's no, you're no, you're not. You
Speaker 1: haven't had pizza in years. Oh my god, that's maybe
Speaker 1: so hungry for pizza. I love the pizza. Wow. This
Speaker 1: has been a really fantastic app, rollicking right right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was okay, it was good. Oh my god, also
Speaker 1: had an okay time, okay time, I thought, you know what.
Speaker 1: I love this app. It was about communication. It was
Speaker 1: about communication, and I'm happy that we were able to
Speaker 1: communicate to you that we also love Desperate Housewives and
Speaker 1: you can go home and ben Desperate Housewives and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go home and watch Kurai for the Straight Guy.
Speaker 1: But now I'm hearing it's not titled that anymore. It's
Speaker 1: just that's what. Yeah. I thought it was the whole
Speaker 1: thing until I saw the gay guy and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is this? And now they're just giving the queer
Speaker 1: eye of the world, which is what the world needs.
Speaker 1: Which is what the world needs. Is um just teaching
Speaker 1: someone how to make a grilled cheese, which is literally
Speaker 1: all Anthony does. But I'll watch. But Anthony's great, although
Speaker 1: I'm suspicious of Anthony, Like Anthony, Yeah, I mean, he's
Speaker 1: the hottie, He's a cutie. I love I love Karamo.
Speaker 1: Karamo is amazing. I literally am just judging on this one.
Speaker 1: Wendy Williams interview. I saw Karamo seems amazing. Jonathan seems
Speaker 1: for me, the blonde who interior designs. I'm like, Bobby's
Speaker 1: You're probably very functional, but like you're not popping to no, no, no,
Speaker 1: just watch it because Bobby's bbby is great, okay. And
Speaker 1: then Anthony literally Wendy and Anthony did not get along.
Speaker 1: So today on Wendy like she was like, how are
Speaker 1: you doing? And he was like, how's it going? And
Speaker 1: and she goes, what And then she turns, she turns
Speaker 1: to Karama and goes, is he down? Goes yeah, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: she goes, okay, well I have to ask. Is a nightmare.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Wendy's queen. I'm sorry, but Wendy is queen.
Speaker 1: She is a mess. She goes into every day without preparing.
Speaker 1: She walks around her stage and being like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: can handle it. Does whatever the folks. She wants out
Speaker 1: most of the time and fails up. Honey, she will
Speaker 1: be president. What are the first things I will stand?
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I would. I just her inaugural speech
Speaker 1: is her full statue of labor? And then she passed
Speaker 1: out America. I'm not so good. My first memory in
Speaker 1: New York, uh, one of the first ones. Somehow I
Speaker 1: got invited to a BuzzFeed event. It was like Wendy
Speaker 1: Williams book party, and I was like, where the fund?
Speaker 1: Ye am, I We're in a basement somewhere. Wendy Williams
Speaker 1: is here. It was wild. Did you meet her? No?
Speaker 1: Then I was like, I don't know her. I want
Speaker 1: to meet that's Wendy Williams. Think that she doesn't shoved
Speaker 1: her books. That's Wendy for you. I was like no,
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know this woman. Yeah, well listen,
Speaker 1: I watched her shows, and she did like to ask
Speaker 1: Wendy today and like people were asking her questions and
Speaker 1: I'm like, why the fuck are we asking your questions?
Speaker 1: Like I don't understand. Why do you think she want?
Speaker 1: And the answer to every question was like, okay, I
Speaker 1: think this is what you should do. And it was
Speaker 1: something crazy like this. One girl was like, my boyfriend
Speaker 1: wants a schedule sex because he's really busy, and so
Speaker 1: am I. And she goes, he's cheating on you. Do
Speaker 1: your research. Do your research, he's cheating. There's another woman.
Speaker 1: Listen to me. She's a canker. Upon this stage, she's fabulous.
Speaker 1: Another one was like, tomorrow I'm going to Milan and
Speaker 1: um my boyfriend, UM, I don't know I want and
Speaker 1: to ask I had to marry me and she was like,
Speaker 1: he'll never do that. Enjoy Milan, right, Okay, everyone, please
Speaker 1: read everything is awful, Listen to Unhappy Hour? Watched are
Speaker 1: you used to making? To be honest videos? At some point?
Speaker 1: The last one was uploaded two months ago, So sir,
Speaker 1: I don't owe anybody anything. The thought of the matter
Speaker 1: is you got him too drunk, Matt boss h I
Speaker 1: fans I know I'm drunk. For my health and safety.
Speaker 1: Taking a break, but they're coming back. Good, good, good
Speaker 1: good Matt. This was so great. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for you, thanks for having me. We're gonna end every
Speaker 1: episode with a song Let's go you do, Shut it
Speaker 1: Up by. This has been a forebb Dog production executive
Speaker 1: produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For
Speaker 1: more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com
Speaker 1: and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest
Speaker 1: Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram
Speaker 1: at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.