Speaker 1: You found your way here to waking up with Ryan.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you pushed play. This is the
Speaker 1: place you and I come to wake up together. So
Speaker 1: let's take a deep breath and begin.
Speaker 2: Good morning, my love.
Speaker 1: Today I want to talk to you about boundaries, because
Speaker 1: boundaries are a big word in personal development and spirituality.
Speaker 1: It's often used as a way to think about keeping
Speaker 1: someone or something out and putting up a boundary so
Speaker 1: you don't belong in here. Okay, that's fine, But I'd
Speaker 1: like to entertain a different way in that may be
Speaker 1: more helpful. Rather than thinking about boundaries as something exclusive,
Speaker 1: how can you think about your boundaries as something that
Speaker 1: is inclusive? So if you imagine a boundary around you
Speaker 1: as boundary, like a fence around you, let's call it
Speaker 1: ten feet in circumference all around you. What if a
Speaker 1: boundary is actually this really sacred wall or fence, and
Speaker 1: your focus is about what belongs in this space rather
Speaker 1: than what should.
Speaker 2: Be excluded from the space.
Speaker 1: What if you think about what do I want in
Speaker 1: this space?
Speaker 2: How do you want to fill this space?
Speaker 1: And let that be the information that dictates whether or
Speaker 1: not someone or something is welcome into it.
Speaker 2: So What do you want in this space? Do you
Speaker 2: want love and care?
Speaker 1: Do you want creativity and opportunity? Do you want the
Speaker 1: kind of energy of yes, right, yes, and rather than no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that won't work, because what about yes? And let's build
Speaker 1: from there. Do you want emotional intelligence? Do you want
Speaker 1: the energy of the capacity to sit in a deep
Speaker 1: place and be able to feel everything that all the
Speaker 1: colors that life has available for you, the stuff that's really,
Speaker 1: you know, bright and positive and gorgeous, and the stuff
Speaker 1: that has that darker tone that's more painful and uncomfortable
Speaker 1: but very real. Do you want the knowing of who
Speaker 1: you truly are in this space? What do you want
Speaker 1: inside of this boundary?
Speaker 2: How are you then filling this space with that.
Speaker 1: Energy, emitting it from your heart and your mind? How
Speaker 1: are you inviting others to know that that's what you
Speaker 1: want in this space?
Speaker 2: Not in a way that's like.
Speaker 1: You made a mistake and you're imperfect, and I don't
Speaker 1: want that here, and so get out of my life.
Speaker 1: You know that's not what we're talking about. I certainly
Speaker 1: know that, I certainly hope you know that that's a
Speaker 1: very immature way of dealing with this.
Speaker 2: Rather it looks more.
Speaker 1: Like when something comes in or someone comes into your
Speaker 1: life and does something that isn't in alignment with what
Speaker 1: you're committed to. If what you want is emotional intelligence,
Speaker 1: how do you sit inside your boundary and feel everything
Speaker 1: arising inside of you? Rather than reacting from the first
Speaker 1: thought and attacking back, which is actually what you don't
Speaker 1: want inside your boundary and saying, man, you don't belong here,
Speaker 1: get out, I don't.
Speaker 2: Want this in my life. No.
Speaker 1: Instead, if what you want is that emotional maturity and
Speaker 1: that divinity of capacity to be with, what is how
Speaker 1: do you feel what's arising inside of you and do
Speaker 1: your inner work and then communicate with the person you're
Speaker 1: in conflict with to say, hey, you know when this happened,
Speaker 1: When you said this thing, what a rose inside of me?
Speaker 2: Was right?
Speaker 1: You turn that wall into a window. You let them
Speaker 1: know as long as you're safe and they're safe for
Speaker 1: you to do so what that experience was like for you,
Speaker 1: And then you communicate really clearly what it is that
Speaker 1: you want. You know, hey, I'm really committed to relationships
Speaker 1: where I can have tough conversations and where we can
Speaker 1: really look at each other and remember to do the
Speaker 1: work together and be kind to each other as best
Speaker 1: we can, and you know, recognize that in relationships, tough
Speaker 1: things happen and there's ways that we can move through
Speaker 1: them that can be really healing for us. And then
Speaker 1: ask that person, are you willing to meet me there?
Speaker 1: Are you willing to show up inside of this conflict
Speaker 1: in a way that we could move forward together and
Speaker 1: both potentially have I'm healing from it and maybe get
Speaker 1: closer as a result of that.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about here.
Speaker 1: It's like, let them know what your boundary is in
Speaker 1: an inclusive sense. This is what I'm committed to, and
Speaker 1: you can also say and what I don't want is
Speaker 1: the reactivity. I don't want the blaming, the shaming, the attacking,
Speaker 1: the judging.
Speaker 2: I think all of that.
Speaker 1: Is here, But we could have a way to move
Speaker 1: through it together that's different, that uses that material as
Speaker 1: an opportunity for more understanding.
Speaker 2: And if they say to you, yes, well, then there
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 1: If they can line up there yes with the actions,
Speaker 1: then there you really go. And if they can, if
Speaker 1: you've communicated as clearly as possible and they roll their
Speaker 1: eyes or they say I don't want to hear it. Well,
Speaker 1: then there's your boundary. I'm committed to keeping this inside
Speaker 1: and thank you so much for sharing with me what
Speaker 1: you're committed to. And I must say I'm going to
Speaker 1: leave now. This is how you navigate boundaries in a
Speaker 1: relationally intelligent way that actually serves you being committed to
Speaker 1: the life that you.
Speaker 2: Want to build and to the becoming of who you
Speaker 2: really are.
Speaker 1: So let's go into a short practice to open and
Speaker 1: expand the love inside of your boundary today. So we
Speaker 1: close your eyes if you're somewhere that you can do so,
Speaker 1: and by the way, if you can't because you're walking
Speaker 1: the dog or driving the car, it's okay.
Speaker 2: You just listen along and take some deep breaths.
Speaker 1: Already the breath, the pausing and the breath is already
Speaker 1: adding to the infrastructure of this space around you. Perhaps
Speaker 1: that's enough. Pausing and breathing with every inhale, inhaling the
Speaker 1: love of the heavens, of life, of this universe of creation,
Speaker 1: inhaling the brilliance that is at the source of everything,
Speaker 1: and when you exhale, noticing as that energy moves into
Speaker 1: this space around you that has a container that is
Speaker 1: this fence or this wall, this boundary around you with
Speaker 1: every exhale, filling this space.
Speaker 2: With love and noticing the people or the things in.
Speaker 1: Your life that are easy for you to include in
Speaker 1: this space, who enter into it sacredly, who you trust
Speaker 1: to be inside that space, or what you trust to
Speaker 1: be inside that space, and take a moment of gratitude.
Speaker 1: How sacred If you even have one person that you
Speaker 1: can invite into that space, that's major. And if you
Speaker 1: don't have anyone or anything that you feel that you
Speaker 1: can invite safely.
Speaker 2: Into that space, I'm with you. I'm with you.
Speaker 1: Perhaps you invite an ancestor or a pet, or a tree,
Speaker 1: a beautiful vista, or a positive memory, or a delicious
Speaker 1: tasty meal you had recently, some experience that clean, lovely,
Speaker 1: Just offer your gratitude, thank you for being so beautiful
Speaker 1: in the space with me, for being something so beautiful
Speaker 1: that I get to witness and experience.
Speaker 2: And take a reflection now.
Speaker 1: On the things or the people in your life that
Speaker 1: aren't quite at the level of what you would like
Speaker 1: to have in this space around you. Maybe those or
Speaker 1: the things that sometimes enter it really well and sacredly
Speaker 1: and safely, and those who sometimes kind of shatter the
Speaker 1: energy inside that boundary, and perhaps you open now to
Speaker 1: become aware of a conversation that you can have with
Speaker 1: that person, or a way that you might approach that
Speaker 1: thing that can be in alignment with what you truly want.
Speaker 1: Let's take a deep breath in and let it go,
Speaker 1: m beautiful. Let's take one more deep and exhaling again,
Speaker 1: filling that space around you with love. Seeing this space
Speaker 1: around you contained by this boundary, so filled with light
Speaker 1: and love. Now trusting that that light that love extends
Speaker 1: with you. It's like this beautiful bubble around you as
Speaker 1: you move through the world today, and when you're ready,
Speaker 1: blinking your eyes open, loving you from here, Hi, I
Speaker 1: hope you're feeling even just a little bit more prepared
Speaker 1: to take on the day. But before you go, I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear from you, and you can send me
Speaker 1: a voice note by going to my website Waking Up
Speaker 1: with Ryan dot com, scroll down to the section that
Speaker 1: says send Ryan a voice note, Tap the button to
Speaker 1: leave me a voice message with a question you have,
Speaker 1: maybe a relationship challenge you having, or a spiritual hang up,
Speaker 1: some kind of an emotional struggle, any topic that you'd
Speaker 1: love for me to address on the podcast.
Speaker 2: I want to hear from you, loving you from here,