WEBVTT - Ep. 16 — The squeaky wheel gets the pay raise 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:20.000 He's on down. He's on down down. Come on now, 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:25.560 he's one down. He's on down. Don't you carry nothing 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:29.319 that might be alone? Come on out, he's on down, 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:31.520 he's on down there. 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:33.360 Okay, let's we can't do the whole thing. 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:34.160 Yeah, we can't. 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:36.159 That was oh my god, the Whiz? 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:39.760 Yes, how did you well? First? Hello everybody being man, 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:40.279 You're so hello. 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:44.279 Sorry, I just had a cup of coffee and it's 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:45.200 six forty pm. 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.239 Yes, welcome back to what episode is this of Brown Ambitions? 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:51.080 They've grown sixteen? Sweet sixteen? 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:55.360 We were sixteen and never been kissed. Yes, welcome back 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:59.360 to the sixteenth episode of Brown Ambition. And yes, the Wiz. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:00.000 What did you think of it? 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:02.560 I have been so hype for the Whiz for the 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:05.160 last like ever since they announced, and I remember watching 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:07.720 Shanie Williams go on the Today Show as like this. 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:09.720 New talent I loved, Like Mary J. 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:12.400 Blige, I want a word to begin, like I've I've 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.080 been the kind of person like I watched Sound of 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:16.720 Music and I watched Peter Pan live, and while I 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:18.440 was watching it, I'm like, why am I doing this 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:18.959 with my life? 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:20.280 Why am I? Like I only. 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:22.880 Watched Sounds of music for on Audrey McDonald like, that's 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.280 like the one reason, Okay, Peter Pan was a waste 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:28.200 of my life. And I was like, but from the beginning, 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:32.479 Wiz was just so different. The set design, Yeah, costume, Yes, 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:34.520 David al and Greer as the lion. 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:36.679 Yeah, I didn't even know he could sing, and like, 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:38.880 you know, and my friend's like, and I still don't know. 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:41.039 I said, ooh in the shade he was. He was good. 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:42.039 If you ask, it was so good. 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:43.959 I forgot that he was even him. I forgot all 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.200 about Neo until the end. I was like, wait, who 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:49.200 was the tin man? Yeah, I forgot all about Neo because 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:52.280 he was so good. He was blended in Yeah Blige. 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.160 Queen, I just love Queen. Lets you. Her outfit was 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:58.320 so her costume was so beautiful. I was trying to. 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:00.400 Think whose costume was my favorite? And I feel like 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:03.040 the award goes to everybody in the Emeralds in the 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:03.880 Emerald Club. 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:10.799 Yes, Vogue they gave me. Yes, I was. 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:12.200 I was entranced. 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:14.359 Yes, and the poppies, of course, I was like, oh, 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:16.320 look at these sexy poppies. Give me a little tourm 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:17.400 It's a. 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:23.000 Lion just like a manly I know that was so 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:25.400 different I never seen I mean, obviously, I wasn't even 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:28.720 born when the play was on Broadway, and I saw 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:31.280 the movie version, like I don't even know the last 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:33.160 time I saw maybe when I was a little little girl. 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:36.080 So it's sort of like it was completely fresh for me. 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:37.880 A lot of the plot I didn't even remember. 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:42.560 Yeah, I just remember like thinking that the guy who 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:46.000 played the Scarecrow, I loved him, but he reminded me 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.839 of Michael, and it just made me a little bit sad, like, oh, 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:51.560 I remember when Michael played this. And I even went online, 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:53.680 which I'm sure so many people did, and I like 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:56.480 pulled up like he's on down the rule so I 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:58.600 could watch it on YouTube, and I was looking at 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.480 Michael and he was acting and singing and dancing, and 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:05.720 it just hit me, like, yo, Michael Jackson was amazing, 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:10.240 so talented and yeah, so oh it was just really 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:13.280 nosalgic for me. Me and Supergirl watched it. Superman was 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:15.320 upstairs watching football. He was like, yeah, if. 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:17.560 Ass oh, that was probably her first time watching that, right. 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:19.240 Yeah, I didn't really because she asked me in the 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:21.280 morning because she fell asleep. She said so how did 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:22.840 it end? And I said, are you kidding? 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:26.680 And she was like, Nod'd never seen the Wizard of Oz. 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:29.040 No, she's nine and so you know, And I was like, 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:30.400 what do you mean? How did it end? She's like 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:31.920 how did it end? Like it was a new movie 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:34.359 and I was like knew. I was like, Okay, we 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.839 have to watch it. So a new tradition tradition for us. 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.000 I couldn't believe. I forgot, like, oh, she didn't grow 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:39.800 up in that error. 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:41.680 That's amazing that this is going to be her first 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:45.440 Wizard of Oz. Yeah, I know, right, Oh, I'm looking 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:48.760 at pictures. Oh Amber Riley. First of all, I love 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.480 Amber Riley, like I follow her on Instagram. I love 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:53.240 her voice, I love her person, I love I watched 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:55.000 her on Dancing with the Stars. That's how good her 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.080 I am. And she was so good at as what 0:03:57.120 --> 0:04:00.400 was her Adlene able Ling? How do you say her name? 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:03.800 The watch? Yeah? I know, but she was really good. 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.280 I don't think anyone in the cast. I wish that 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:08.520 Stephanie Mills had had more time. 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:09.200 Yeah. 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.480 I also I saw someone tweet and I had to agree. 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.560 I'm like everyone else has like a modern outfit but 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.960 they put aunt em in this like old lady outfit. 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:18.719 Yeah, you're right. 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:20.400 Why wasn't she dressed for twenty fifteen? 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:22.280 You're right, you're right. And there was just so many 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:24.760 things that were kind of funny, like when they found 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:27.960 out that Queen Lativa, the Whiz character was a woman, 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:31.240 and she was like, whatcham would being a woman? I 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:33.320 was like, yes, you better assass them. 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:36.320 That was so perfect for her too, because she's already 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:38.440 that kind of andry. She can be really androgynous. 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:41.000 Yeah, and she's come out as gay, you know, fairly recently, 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:43.400 and so it was just kind of like okay. And 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:44.839 I saw it like when she was in her robe, 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:47.240 when they like, you know, pull back the curtain, I 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:49.760 was dying because that is so me in Jersey, sitting 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:53.000 at my deck. I was like, look at queen representing 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.040 for the at home entrepreneurs her so. 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:57.400 Looked pretty good for me in our home. 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:59.400 I know, but it was just good. I had a 0:04:59.400 --> 0:04:59.840 good time. 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:02.960 Oh what did you think of uz Uzu Aduba? I 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:03.200 like that. 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:04.680 I mean, I know people are like, oh, she missed 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:06.719 some notes and whatever. I'm like, it's live. I'm sorry. 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:08.240 What do you do with your life watching at home. 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:09.719 I don't even remember. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:11.880 I just I thought, I love the fact that when 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:15.279 she came down, this brown woman, you know, and the 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.760 first thing out of Dorothy's mouth was she's so beautiful. 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:21.120 I was like, that's it, you know, that's and you. 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:23.520 Know what, That's why I was thinking Supergirl, like the 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.040 fact that this is her very first Wizard of Oz, 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:28.080 Like she doesn't know any other odds. It's like people 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.000 who were born for with a black president for the 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:30.520 first time. 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:33.760 Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. And when you think about how 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.600 transformative is that for you, that it's not a big 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:38.440 deal to have a black president because that's all you've 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:38.960 ever known. 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:40.760 Wow. Mile. 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:44.800 On the internets, some people who obviously did not grow 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:49.080 up with an all black casts and anything where even 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:52.680 before the Wiz aired, people were already like throwing shade 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:55.760 and asking the stupidest questions like why isn't there a 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:56.720 white Whiz. 0:05:57.080 --> 0:05:59.280 I'm like, where's the white wiz at? 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:00.920 Oh? If it was an all white casts, you guys 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:01.960 would be calling racism. 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:04.200 I'm like, hello, have you not seen the Wizard of Oz? 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:06.480 You idiots? That's what that is. That's crazy. 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:07.400 It was so crazy. 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:08.880 I was like, are they just doing this just to 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:10.919 get you know, their tweet shared online. And then also 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:14.560 just like, can we talk about every single movie where 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.760 it's all white people and there's like maybe one person 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:19.880 in the Like I just finished watching The Gilmore Girls. 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:21.479 Did you like The Gilmore Girls? 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:23.120 I did? Actually I liked. 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.160 It too, but like it was like maybe halfway through 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.240 the third season and I'm like, wait a second, there 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:30.040 is not literally not one brown person in its entire season. 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:31.719 And we watched all the way through, and I'm. 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:33.560 Like, this is this is all like if they went 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:37.040 through seven seasons of a show based in Connecticut or 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.000 New York, both places, ye had a single black character. 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:42.400 Like I mean we've been but like that's not and 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:43.640 that's not a new thing. 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:46.839 Yeah, that's just normal. It's called life and Nobody. Yeah. 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:49.159 So I feel like I saw I saw a funny 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.760 tweet of someone they found the background dancers at the 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.680 Evil Quitch's Layer, Evil Evil Witch's Layer, Mary J. Bludge, 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.680 and they found one white guy in the back and 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:00.320 they're like, oh, here you go, here's your token, like. 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:03.880 Us, welcome to our world. Yes, yeah, the Wiz. I 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:05.640 mean it's just so crazy because that was the purpose 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:07.520 of the Wiz. It was in response to the fact 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:10.440 that the Wizard of Ours really was an all white 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.800 like you know production, and here was like a little 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:16.800 flavor added and you know, a little brown flavor. It's just, 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:19.320 you know, people always are looking for something whatever. I 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:21.880 think they got like a viewership of like almost twelve 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:23.120 million people watched that night. 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:23.680 Mm hmm. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:25.880 Yeah. I just was like, oh, it was just nice, 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:27.960 and I like, I did a lot of live facebooking 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:30.200 just because it was fun. Yeah. 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:31.920 Twitter, I was on the twitters. 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:33.480 Yes, I was trying on the Twitter, and like they 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:35.760 had a lot of funny memes, especially about poor Toto. 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:37.800 Did you see the memes about. 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:39.520 Total No because they didn't get in the airtimes. 0:07:39.640 --> 0:07:42.400 Yes, they had this one picture of like three dogs 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.640 like like with your eyes narrowed, looking mad like Totals 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:51.680 family watching tonight, Like where is he? I was dying. 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:53.840 I was like, Toto does not care. 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:55.480 They couldn't have had a dog the whole time. 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:58.240 Now, come on, exactly can you imagine live that dog 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.160 would have been pooping and peeing, running around and barking. 0:08:01.240 --> 0:08:02.360 They just could not have done that. 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.080 I know. Oh it was so good. The you know 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.120 that kind of reminds me. I heard on and I 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:09.080 was listening to the read this week and Kid Fury 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:11.440 was talking about how Lupitza niongo. You know, how she's 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:13.200 gonna have a role in the new Star Wars movie 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:16.640 that everyone is like losing their shit about. Yeah, about 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:19.840 the movie itself, apparently her role. He says, there's speculation 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:23.080 that it's been like cut to a sliver okay, Oscar 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:25.400 winning actress Lapiza, which is kind of a bummer because 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:26.680 she would have been the only black woman in that 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:27.160 whole cast. 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:29.560 Probably, But I thought I saw like a quote from 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:32.960 the director saying that like Lupitza was amazing or something 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.680 like that, and the answer, oh good, okay, I thought 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:37.560 I saw something like that, So I guess we'll see. 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:38.920 You know, the proof will be in the pudding. 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:40.160 Are you gonna go? 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.360 I don't you know. I'm not a big Star Wars fan. 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:46.160 I don't even know if I am. I've never seen it. 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:49.920 I was just talking to my fiance. She said, we're 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:51.559 gonna try and watch it this weekend because I kind 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:52.839 of want to see it, like I want to see 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:54.240 it for lu Pizza or I want to see it 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:56.800 for the I don't know what character the other black 0:08:56.800 --> 0:08:58.160 guy's playing. I want to see it for him. 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.960 Yeah, I know, right to see you for the blacks people. 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:05.240 You know, I don't. I not a huge movie like 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:08.560 Jarelle is a huge movie person, and like I'll go 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:10.160 just because you know, I'm trying to be like a 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.040 good girlfriend. But I'm the type of person I rather 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:14.880 watch the movie like in the house on the couch 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:16.280 where I can pause to go to the bath and 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:17.040 get some food. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:18.880 You know, Oh, you're that kind. It was like my mom. 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:21.559 I was always yelling. I'm like, Mom, sit down, I 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.640 just want to do the laundry real quick. Yeah no, no, no, 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:25.920 we're watching a movie. Oh but the dishes. 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:30.280 That is the whole ambiance of like movie. Him and Supergirl, 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:32.559 so well, Superman and Supergirl will have a whole ambience 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.160 of like movie time. And I'm always like, ooh, real quick, 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:36.920 quick phone call. He's like, are you kidding me? 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:40.040 That's what my dad and I do together, go to 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:40.640 see movies. 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:41.720 Oh that's cute. 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:43.600 What else is? Oh? I lost my notes on. 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:45.280 I'm trying to pick what else was both? 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:48.480 Oh, my girlfriend sent me this, so my friend I'm 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.760 gonna call her out. Her name is Jess. She is 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:51.200 my dear. 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:53.679 I've been friends with her since my freshman year of college, 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:56.280 so going on ten years now, and she's been single 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:59.120 for a while, sorry, just living in New York City. 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:01.520 And she sent me she sent me this link up 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.880 from box. So I was talking about what's the headline, like, 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:06.960 I asked my boyfriend to move in with me to 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:09.680 save rent? And Jess was like, God, I really feel 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:11.280 for the first time, like happy. 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:11.520 To be single. 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:13.480 I don't have to do this, and I feel like 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:15.960 this is not I mean, I read the article and 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:18.280 she's like talking about how she's not alone, that a 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.559 lot of people ask their boyfriends their girlfriends to move 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:23.600 in to save rent, and personally, like, I think that's 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:25.400 I don't see, It's not that much different than like. 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:28.079 Getting a roommate, you know. Yeah, but I find it's 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:29.080 so common in New York. 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:32.000 Yeah, I just feel like it's common. I mean, that 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.040 wasn't the only reason, but I remember one of the 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:35.920 things that Jirelle said to me when we were dating 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:37.760 for a while. He was like, why don't you move 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:41.360 in and just save rent? You know? And I know, 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:42.800 and I was that's why I said no. At first, 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:44.199 I was like, no, I'm good because my friend is 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:47.000 about the same as when I'll pay splitting it with you, right, 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:49.280 you know. And then he was like, all right, I 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:51.080 just want you to be here. You're always here anywhere. 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:54.000 I'm like That's what I wanted to hear exactly. I'm 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:56.440 like right, because I think he was trying to appeal 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:59.160 to my budgetiste the side of being like, oh, maybe 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:00.640 I'll tell her to save, and I was like, yeah, 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:04.120 that doesn't move me. But yeah, so, I mean, honestly, 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.559 I'm paying I was paying really low rent before so 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:09.839 and when I first moved in, Jerell was like paying 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:12.880 all Darrell starting at Superman, was paying all the bills, 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.480 and I was like I built that. I'm like, well, 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:19.000 don't you want some help? And so now, like which, 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:21.320 my friend, one of my BFFs, told me that I 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.520 was crazy that I should let him man be a man. 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:24.680 How do you feel about that? 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:28.280 Like, I didn't, you know, I just a mandy man 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:29.440 by what paying all the bills? 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:31.760 Yeah, because he was paying all the bills. Even though 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:35.000 I make significantly more than Superman. He was paying, you know, 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.360 all the bills, and well most of them, I would 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:40.199 say he was paying about seventy five percent of the bill, 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:41.599 because of course I was paying my own bill, and 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:43.800 I think I was paying like the cable and that 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:46.120 was it, and I just did it didn't feel right, 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:48.080 especially since I was making more than him, and I 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.839 am making more than him. She was like, no, that's 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.920 what you know. She subscribes to the whole Steve Harvey theory, 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:57.640 which you know, I'm not necessarily in agreement with, but 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:01.040 I've never had anybody take care of me financially, and 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:02.640 I just felt like, well, we both eat the same 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.280 food and you know, use up the same amount of 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.160 room in the house, that we should split the bills. 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.200 And so I think that's very antiquated, that whole idea, 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:12.760 especially today. I mean, unless you're dating is like a 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.680 banker or something and he's you know, loaded, and he yeah, 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.040 doesn't matter. But I feel like we're all in the 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:20.280 same both these days, most couples and you're in their 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:22.600 twenties and thirties, like you probably have student loan debt, 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:25.200 you probably haven't had that much of a raise in 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.480 the last few years, and I think you have to 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:29.280 be like the whole I don't know, I just think 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:30.320 that's not fair to the guy. 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:32.720 Yeah, that's why I said that. I was just like, well, 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:34.760 because she was like, what you should let him be 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:36.840 a man. You shouldn't have offered, And I'm like, yeah, 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.520 it seems a little selfish. 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.280 That, like, no, what if they ended up presenting you? 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.320 Yeah, who knows, especially you know, especially with seeing my 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.200 business grow, like wow, Tifany's making great money and she's 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:50.199 literally paying nothing. It just didn't seem like fair. It's 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.319 not It's not like I'm paying I said, Hey, I'll 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:54.880 take care of all the bills myself. I just said, like, 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.040 let's just go half plus. 0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.199 I think that forces you into a position of me 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:01.680 like you made me feel guilty always paying the bills 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:03.520 so I should clean the kitchen and yeah, you know, 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.040 it just sort of pushes you into these other guilty 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:07.840 you know, for being it makes you guilty and then 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:09.520 you do all these other roles that like you maybe 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:11.960 not have time for. It's not just to sort of 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.280 have this like semblance of equality. 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:16.800 Yeah, just true. We're pretty equal on everything when it 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.800 comes to like cooking, cleaning, all that kind of stuff. 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.120 Like you know, we have I have weeks definitely that 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:22.839 I don't do a whole lot, and I have weeks 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:24.560 that I do do a whole lot as it relates 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:26.320 to that, But I don't know, it feels right for 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:28.080 me to be It just feels good to know like 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:31.559 we're going half, we're good and you know, and plus 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.160 that means he has extra money left over for that ring. 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:38.080 Then I'm exact that he's saving for. You know. I'm like, oh, okay, 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.160 you know, I did a little check in recently, have 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.560 that ring money going. He just looked at me, like, Tiffany, it's. 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.320 Only been Wait, hasn't it been like a week since 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:46.480 you started hinting? 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:49.320 I don't know. I mean, well, no, from the very beginning. See, 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:52.040 because I'm thirty six, so befo. When we first started dating, 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:54.640 I said, before we enter into this relationship, let's make 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.680 sure we're on the same page of where we're headed. Yeah, 0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.160 and you know, and so he was just like, because, 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:01.720 I mean, Durrell Superman's not new to me. We had 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:04.360 been friends for a while, we had dated a little 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.720 bit earlier when we were younger, and so this wasn't 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:08.880 like some brand new person. It was kind of like, well, 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.200 if this is something we're doing, are we on the 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.640 same page and he was, And so I just check 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.120 in every once in a while because my biggest thing 0:14:16.120 --> 0:14:18.360 and his biggest thing is always if you're not on 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.600 the same page as me, just let me know. Yes, 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:22.800 it might hurt my feelings and I might be heartbroken 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.520 or whatever, but I rather know so I can make 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:27.680 a choice based upon what is not what I want 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:28.000 it to be. 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:30.960 Oh yeah, definitely, And I think that you should be, 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:35.320 like I said, like my Fance and I we talked 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:39.480 about like getting married before moving in together, and yep, 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:41.520 and I would say, I mean, maybe it's just because 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:43.960 I was raised by a single mom and I saw, 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.640 you know, when my parents got divorced, she couldn't afford 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.120 the house that they had, so she had to move 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:49.840 and we were living with my uncle for a while. 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:52.440 Then we moved into a tiny little house, and you know, 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.120 it was always a struggle. And I always told myself, like, 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:57.760 I'm never going to be relying on a man enough, 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.040 like if a guy moves out, I want to be 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.680 able to at least know that I can pay the 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:04.040 rent on my own and that I won't be out 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.360 of you know, homeless, or like out on the you know, 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:08.960 out on my own and that's always been in the 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:10.840 back of my mind. And then you know, my Fancee 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:13.960 has known that from the get go, like I'm moving 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.520 in with you for because I love you, because I 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:18.320 want to live with you, not because I need to 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:20.320 financially mm hmm. 0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:21.920 And he respects that. 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:25.000 I think it's said. I mean, I feel like every 0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.160 everyone's relationship, you have to make up your own rules. 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:29.800 That's one thing I've learned. So like my I have 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.640 one friend who I just love her relationship with her boyfriend. 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:36.000 They've been together since there were kids, honestly off and on, 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:39.560 and but they like since they were fourteen, and she's 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:45.400 thirty one, thirty two, and like you would think that 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:47.720 they just started dating. They're so cute together, you know, 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.480 like they laugh, they play, they joke. And one thing 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.200 I've learned from her is as long as she and 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:55.160 I have been friends, I've known her since high school. 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:58.160 She I can count on one hand that she said 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:02.280 anything even slightly disparaging about him. She might be like, oh, 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:04.440 he's getting on my nerves, but that's even rare. And 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:08.400 she has never discussed like they're they're inside business, you know, 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:11.680 And so just seeing that has just given me like 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.560 a great like kind of like roadmap to like that's 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:16.080 how I want to be. I want that, you know. 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:18.720 I mean I checked him exactly, you know, and I'm 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:21.600 sure they've gone through whatever. I'm sure, but she would 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:23.400 never ever, ever be like, oh, let me tell you 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.440 what terrible thing that he's done and I'm so sick 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:27.080 of him, Like that just doesn't come out of her mouth, 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:29.600 even if she's upset with him. You know, that's just 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:32.840 it is very toxic because you're not always going to 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.440 be mad at your boo, but now you're going to 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:35.720 have the whole world mad at them forever. 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:40.800 Yeah, I've always well, I've learned to not hold the 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:43.920 grudges since he and I moved in together. Like we 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.600 like we just literally we're outside here. I am talking 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.520 about our beef on the podcast, but we just got 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:51.440 into like a little like we were just bickering about 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.400 who needs to clean who needs to clean this spare 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:54.040 bedroom and I. 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:55.360 Was like, but I did it last week and He's like, 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.640 you never grab but let me get in home, and 0:16:57.680 --> 0:16:59.520 I'm like, whatever, we're engaged. What am I going to do? 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:01.520 Like be mad forever? It is stupid, and I feel like. 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:04.040 But when I was when we first started dating, though, 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:06.359 I was so quick to immediately text my best friend, 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:08.520 and you know, we would get together, put our heads 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:10.880 together at work and just talk about all the horrible 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.560 things that's you know, what our boyfriends had done the past, 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.960 and it just it just comes with age. I think 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:17.880 you grow and you get perspective, like what's a small 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:18.800 thing and what's a big thing. 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:21.400 And she stopped because she said one of she had 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:24.399 lost the best friend in college because that had happened. 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:26.159 She had said something like, oh, he did this, he 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.920 did that, and then the best friend started treating her 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.960 boo poorly and then it became this you know what 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:35.800 I mean like and then it became this toxic relationship 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.679 between the three of them, and the best friend just 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:40.400 it did wasn't a fit anymore. So the best friend 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:44.040 kind of basically left, and you know, so I just so, 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:45.679 she said, I just learned to be like I have 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:48.919 to protect him. That I'm angry at him temporarily, but 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:51.440 you know, I can say something that can have people 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:52.440 angry at him for life. 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:57.080 I'm really protective of you know, because we both are 0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:59.040 the breadwinner, right, I mean, not that we're like combining 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.679 finances with our partner. Yeah, completely, but we earn more 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.720 than our partners. And I really I'm protective because between 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.399 him and I its cool, but I'm protective of anyone 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:09.480 else having an opinion about that not being up. Yes, 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.639 m I'm like he does so much for me. Money 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:17.280 is not the only thing that's important, and it's it works, 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:20.080 and I'm really I'm whenever I hear someone kind of 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:23.200 start to judge that that, like that balance it, it 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:24.720 makes me upset. 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:27.159 No, I agree because I don't allow for any of 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:30.080 that because I'm like, what, like Superman is like one 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:33.040 of the kindest, nicest people that I always sound You're 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.000 so much nicer than I am. Like I don't know 0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:38.520 any of the neighbors' names. He knows miss Mary has 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:41.159 a bad hip and brings her food on Wednesdays. He 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:44.480 knows that like little Jeremiah just started preschool and will 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:46.720 get him a bike for his birthday. I mean, he's 0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:48.800 like the kindest, sweetest and I'm like that's such a 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.879 small thing to me, being like the breadwinner. You know, 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:56.199 it's in comparison to someone who's actually a good kind person. 0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:58.240 So you're right, me too. I'm protective over that. I 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:00.520 wish somebody would say something. M M. 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:03.959 If you'd like to say something, you can email us 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:07.080 a Strong Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:09.280 Or tweet us at the BA podcast. 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:09.880 Y'all. 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:12.199 But I say, don't move in together just because of 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:13.520 the money. You may regret it. 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:15.920 And honestly, what happens when he moves out. It's like 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:17.560 any roommate, what happens when they move out. You need 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:19.919 to have a backup plan. Have your own money. Please 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:20.760 have your own money? 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:24.680 Yes? Oh lord, Okay, So I think that's it for 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:25.280 bus Worthy. 0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:39.400 Yes, Buzzworthy out. So first, so it's now it's brown 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:41.760 break time, right, and me and Mandy we're not gonna 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:43.320 have We weren't gonna have a brown break. But then 0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:46.399 I started thinking I actually do want to take a break. 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:48.200 I was like, I don't have anything to be annoyed about. 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:52.240 Wait a second, and it this is not necessarily like 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:54.240 because I feel bad because my best friend just had 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:56.959 one of these, my sister just had one of these. 0:19:57.440 --> 0:19:59.520 Everybody's having one of these because I'm in my thirty 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:04.520 so everyone was popping out these. I'm talking about bagels. 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:07.600 So I love some babies. I love my new nephew. 0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:12.560 I love my godson who is my best friend's uh baby. 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:13.879 Wait, can you do it? Can you say the whole thing? 0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:15.560 I need a brow and break from babies. 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.159 Yes, I need a brown bait from babies, not the 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:21.720 babies themselves, but like from like and then the baby did, 0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:23.040 and then the baby said, and then I tell you 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:25.800 that the baby said and did said said, big big baby. 0:20:26.240 --> 0:20:29.160 I need a break just because every because I guess 0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:32.000 once you hit your thirties, everyone's like either having kids 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:34.160 or their kids are just starting to do interesting things. 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:36.919 And so my timeline is babied out. And I'm not 0:20:36.920 --> 0:20:40.160 gonna lie. This is slightly hate because I want a baby. 0:20:40.320 --> 0:20:42.960 I do kind of want a baby. So when I 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:45.320 have a baby, I will be sure to annoy everyone 0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:49.280 with my incested baby pictures exactly Like you should see 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:51.320 my text now, Like you know, when you're twenty, some 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:53.600 of your texts are like salacious. You're like, hey, no, 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:56.200 my text now, anybody can read my g rated text. 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:58.480 It's just full of baby pictures from all my friends, 0:20:58.480 --> 0:21:01.360 my friends and family, like and look at him smiling 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:04.399 and look at him laughing, and I'm like, oh. 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:05.240 Do you do the thing where you like some of 0:21:05.240 --> 0:21:06.880 your friend's babies better than others? 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:10.199 No, you know what I mean, I have a couple of. 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:12.359 Favorites, and I was like, it's a couple of not 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:14.919 so favorites. I don't know how. I don't know what happens. 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.399 I just connect with some babies more than uthers. You know. 0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:19.480 Well, you know what. The two closest babies in my life, 0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:23.920 they're still so young. Like my best friend's baby, he's like, uh, 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:27.000 seven months or eight months, and he is mister gigglely. 0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:29.280 I mean, that baby is the happiest baby I've ever seen. 0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:32.080 I mean he's like it's blue outside, it's green outside. 0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:34.840 I'm happy, happy, happy. And then my sister's baby is 0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:37.800 like the most chill cool, like that baby was born 0:21:37.800 --> 0:21:41.240 with sunglasses on and he is so and so we're 0:21:41.280 --> 0:21:43.000 like I helped my parents put up the Christmas tree 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:45.000 and my sisters and I today and so she brought 0:21:45.000 --> 0:21:47.439 her baby and he I was just like, look at 0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:49.760 this baby. He is so chill. No matter how much 0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:53.240 we were like smaiya giggle laugh, He's like I'm actually chilling. 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:55.199 I mean, you guys look a little silly, but Okay. 0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:57.520 His face is just like cool as a cue humber, 0:21:57.520 --> 0:21:58.280 and he's so adorable. 0:21:58.320 --> 0:21:59.200 He's like, tell me a joke. 0:21:59.240 --> 0:22:03.679 Then, yeah, he's very dry. You were like, okay, like 0:22:03.760 --> 0:22:05.679 no crying or nothing, just looking at you like, I 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:07.840 mean you're gonna have to do beds than that. I 0:22:07.960 --> 0:22:10.960 love it. Yeah, So I love them both, and like, honestly, 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:12.919 I'm not really sick of, you know, babies, It's just 0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:15.840 that I'm ready for a baby, and I'm just like, 0:22:16.520 --> 0:22:18.080 it is it's a lot of work. Though. She's like, 0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:20.160 are you sure you're ready because it's a lot of work. 0:22:20.680 --> 0:22:22.239 I'm sure they would like a brown break from their 0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:22.680 own babies. 0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:26.200 They're like, you could have my baby for a little bit. 0:22:28.640 --> 0:22:29.879 Man, I kind of want to adopt. 0:22:29.960 --> 0:22:30.120 Oh. 0:22:30.160 --> 0:22:31.600 I mean I wanted to mention this earlier. 0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:33.879 I just read this really good article on Yahoo actually 0:22:33.880 --> 0:22:37.080 not a shameless plug Yahoo parenting. It was like it 0:22:37.119 --> 0:22:39.840 was an article about a white mother who talked about 0:22:39.960 --> 0:22:43.320 adopting two young black boys and she already she adopted 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:44.960 all of her children. Then she has four kids, two 0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:47.280 white girls and then two black boys. And I thought 0:22:47.320 --> 0:22:50.240 it was a really good story just about like how 0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:53.600 like a white mother's perspective of raising two black boys, 0:22:53.600 --> 0:22:54.879 and she was so self aware. 0:22:55.119 --> 0:22:57.600 She's like, I made sure we have black friends. I 0:22:57.640 --> 0:22:58.240 do my best. 0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:00.199 She listed off all these things that she try has 0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:02.400 to do for them. It reminded me of my mom 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:05.080 a little bit, because it's got to be hard. Yeah, 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:07.639 my poor mom, I mean not by I grew up 0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:09.640 in the South and she had two brown babies, two 0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:11.720 white babies, and I'm sure people gave her weird stairs 0:23:11.720 --> 0:23:13.840 all the time in the grocery store, you know, but 0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:17.000 she did a great job treating us all like equals. 0:23:17.320 --> 0:23:19.159 You know. It's so funny you mentioned this because my 0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:20.800 sister was asking me today. I was like, oh, I'm 0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:23.560 taping with Mandy today, and she was like, is Mandy black? 0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:25.600 I was like, her dad's black, her mom's wife. She's like, 0:23:25.680 --> 0:23:27.199 and it's so strange. She's like, who does she what 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:29.480 does she identify as? And I just thought it was 0:23:29.480 --> 0:23:32.159 such an interesting question. And I'm like, because when I 0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:34.760 first saw her, I thought, hmmm, I would have because 0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:36.280 I thought the same thing. I thought maybe you were 0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:38.320 like hispanic, but I knew there was a little something 0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:40.600 and I was like, hmm, she's got an extra curl 0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:43.880 in her hair, and I was like, Oh, what does 0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:46.600 Mandy identify it? I said, I don't. I think Mandy 0:23:46.640 --> 0:23:49.160 identifies as I told her. I feel like you identify 0:23:49.240 --> 0:23:52.760 as a woman of color. That not all the way 0:23:53.320 --> 0:23:56.639 like you know, sister girl black, not all the way 0:23:56.880 --> 0:24:00.000 you know, miss Mandy white, but like I don't know, 0:24:00.240 --> 0:24:02.280 just a woman of color. That's how that's my vibe 0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:03.960 from you. But what do you identify us? 0:24:04.480 --> 0:24:07.199 I mean, I say black and white. I don't know 0:24:07.200 --> 0:24:09.240 if there's a I mean, this is, this is whatever. 0:24:09.240 --> 0:24:11.280 This is a question I've been asked my entire life. 0:24:11.320 --> 0:24:12.120 What are you who? 0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:12.280 Like? 0:24:12.320 --> 0:24:15.000 Where are you from? What's your background? People people stop 0:24:15.040 --> 0:24:16.439 me on the street all the time like where are 0:24:16.480 --> 0:24:17.240 you from? 0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:21.159 And I'll be like America, and I'll get really annoyed. 0:24:21.160 --> 0:24:27.560 They're like no, but like, what's your background, Oh, Georgia, Yeah, 0:24:27.600 --> 0:24:27.960 I don't know. 0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:31.080 I mean, I do know. I just say I'm black 0:24:31.119 --> 0:24:31.520 and white. 0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:34.800 And I mean I grew up even further dividing those 0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:36.479 two worlds. But the fact that they got divorced when 0:24:36.480 --> 0:24:38.879 I was ten, so I would be black. When I 0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:41.320 was on my dad's family, surrounded by my black aunts, 0:24:41.400 --> 0:24:44.320 my cousins, my uncles, I love them dearly. I don't know, 0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:46.440 I'm really grateful for my background. I feel like I've 0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:48.120 got the best of both worlds in a way. 0:24:48.520 --> 0:24:49.800 No, I mean, I guess it was just like this 0:24:49.880 --> 0:24:52.480 random question just because, like I said, it was so random. 0:24:52.520 --> 0:24:54.399 And she asked, what does Mandy identify us? And I 0:24:54.480 --> 0:24:56.760 was like, I don't. I don't know. 0:24:57.720 --> 0:24:59.240 I mean, don't all biracial people. 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:02.199 I was just biracial. Well, no, it depends to me. 0:25:02.800 --> 0:25:05.760 What I've seen is that the majority of biracial people 0:25:05.800 --> 0:25:10.399 that clearly look like once one of their segments like 0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:12.800 identify like you know, like say, for example, I don't know, 0:25:13.640 --> 0:25:15.639 Like if you get like somebody who's like maybe they 0:25:15.720 --> 0:25:18.840 might be half white half black, but they look so black, 0:25:18.920 --> 0:25:21.680 like you know, super chocolate skin, curly hair for whatever reason, 0:25:21.720 --> 0:25:24.199 you know, then it's I mean, it's not even a 0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:27.280 question because it's just like, well, I look so black, 0:25:27.359 --> 0:25:30.159 so I'm not like I'm hiding. And then but you 0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:31.920 do get some And then because I've gone to school 0:25:31.960 --> 0:25:35.240 with one of my friends was biracial in high school. 0:25:35.680 --> 0:25:38.919 But she like it's almost like I could tell she 0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:42.040 was a little something, but only with like the trained 0:25:42.119 --> 0:25:44.200 black eye, could you see a little something, because honestly, 0:25:44.640 --> 0:25:47.679 she looked like Nicole Ritchie, like you could really not 0:25:47.880 --> 0:25:51.879 hardly tell at all that she her father was black, 0:25:51.920 --> 0:25:53.760 but he was like really fair and had like curly hair, 0:25:53.800 --> 0:25:58.560 and so she she more so identified with her mom's 0:25:58.560 --> 0:26:01.119 side like white and nothing she would herself like just 0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:04.080 plaining white. But I don't know, it just seemed like 0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:06.560 that's the road that she was taking, which is okay, 0:26:06.640 --> 0:26:08.560 you know. And then you have somebody like Jesse Williams 0:26:08.600 --> 0:26:11.760 hight is that his last name, Williams. Super cute, you know, 0:26:11.880 --> 0:26:15.720 and so he could like totally you know, he doesn't 0:26:15.760 --> 0:26:20.280 look like, he doesn't have super strong black features, and 0:26:20.359 --> 0:26:22.000 even though he has looks like he has a little 0:26:22.000 --> 0:26:25.040 something in him he could easily identify with, you know, 0:26:25.160 --> 0:26:27.480 white if he wanted to. But it seems like he 0:26:27.480 --> 0:26:30.520 heavily identifies with being black more so than anything, even 0:26:30.560 --> 0:26:34.040 though of course he doesn't discount or discredit his you know, 0:26:34.119 --> 0:26:37.440 his his white side. But I don't know, I think. 0:26:37.480 --> 0:26:39.280 I think that it matters a whole hell of a 0:26:39.320 --> 0:26:42.359 lot more to everybody else would identify myself as Honestly, 0:26:42.400 --> 0:26:46.160 I'm not trying to be sassy, but I mean, I've 0:26:46.200 --> 0:26:48.240 talked about this before, Like, I'm just I'm tired of 0:26:48.280 --> 0:26:49.680 people telling me I'm not black. 0:26:49.720 --> 0:26:51.680 I'm tired of people telling me that I'm not this. 0:26:51.920 --> 0:26:53.119 My hair is this? You know. 0:26:53.280 --> 0:26:55.560 I was just I mean, people ask me, why are 0:26:55.600 --> 0:26:57.840 you trying to make your hair natural? Like why don't 0:26:57.880 --> 0:27:01.000 you just, you know, just diet straight, died straight, you know, 0:27:01.080 --> 0:27:05.680 make it straight. I had a coworker tell me that 0:27:05.800 --> 0:27:08.920 wasn't black because I tried to do the whip nanna 0:27:08.960 --> 0:27:10.159 and I had no idea how to do it to 0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:13.360 like's not black, you're not black, And I'm like, I'm. 0:27:13.200 --> 0:27:16.360 So fucking sorry. I'm so tired of. 0:27:16.400 --> 0:27:19.160 People having an opinion about what I am. And it's 0:27:19.160 --> 0:27:21.320 fine for people to be curious, I guess, But at 0:27:21.359 --> 0:27:24.119 the same time, it's not like I'm I don't know, 0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:27.359 I guess. I'm not trying to defend someone like Rachel Dolesol. 0:27:27.440 --> 0:27:29.879 But at the same time, I mean, I actually have 0:27:30.000 --> 0:27:31.920 the background. I have a black father and a white mother, 0:27:32.000 --> 0:27:34.520 and I'm like, well, I'm I'm not gonna pick a lane. 0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:37.159 Honestly, and you don't have to, you know. It's so 0:27:37.200 --> 0:27:39.560 funny because it's like I remember, like, like, now you 0:27:39.560 --> 0:27:41.639 can't tell by the way I speak, but when I 0:27:41.680 --> 0:27:43.959 grew up in an all white, mostly Jewish town, and 0:27:44.040 --> 0:27:47.040 so at one point, like I didn't even I didn't 0:27:47.080 --> 0:27:48.359 know what I sounded like. I just felt like I 0:27:48.400 --> 0:27:51.160 sounded like me, but I sounded like like a valley girl, 0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:53.800 like I am a name Sippy, and like there was 0:27:53.840 --> 0:27:56.080 no base in my voice, no, no, nothing, because that's 0:27:56.119 --> 0:28:00.520 just where I grew up. And it wasn't until I 0:28:00.600 --> 0:28:03.320 came to work in New York, which is like majority black, 0:28:04.119 --> 0:28:08.560 and that somebody was like, why do you talk like that? 0:28:08.640 --> 0:28:10.520 And I literally had no idea what they met And 0:28:10.560 --> 0:28:12.720 I'm like what, And I thought maybe because my parents 0:28:12.760 --> 0:28:14.520 are African. I'm like, do I have an African accent 0:28:14.600 --> 0:28:16.760 or something? Because I was born in America. But and 0:28:16.800 --> 0:28:19.000 she's like, like, you know, why do you talk like that? Stop? 0:28:19.560 --> 0:28:20.879 And I did not know what she meant. I was 0:28:20.880 --> 0:28:23.400 twenty two, and I'm like, what do you mean. She's 0:28:23.480 --> 0:28:26.120 like stop, like she thought that I was putting on 0:28:26.240 --> 0:28:29.080 And for the longest time, people really thought that I 0:28:29.280 --> 0:28:33.119 was forcing that accent. And I just remember being like 0:28:33.200 --> 0:28:35.400 and then someone telling me and then used to pick 0:28:35.440 --> 0:28:38.880 on me, like my first job in Newark, like the 0:28:38.880 --> 0:28:41.280 black girls would pick on me and tell me that 0:28:41.320 --> 0:28:43.360 I wasn't black and I sound like a white girl, 0:28:43.480 --> 0:28:44.960 and like they were gonna beat me up and some 0:28:45.000 --> 0:28:48.080 other foolishness. Until one day I just snapped and she 0:28:48.320 --> 0:28:50.680 was like something something yeah, okay, whatever, white girl. And 0:28:50.680 --> 0:28:52.080 I said, can I ask you a question? And she 0:28:52.160 --> 0:28:54.440 was like yeah. I said where were your parents born? 0:28:54.840 --> 0:28:56.800 And she was like Jersey. I said what about your grandmother? 0:28:56.840 --> 0:28:58.520 And she was like Georgia. I was like, well, what 0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:01.640 about her grandmother? She was like I don't know. I said, 0:29:01.640 --> 0:29:03.240 you want to know where my parents were born? She 0:29:03.400 --> 0:29:05.280 was like where? I said, Africa? You want to know 0:29:05.400 --> 0:29:07.400 where they're parents were born. She's like where, I said, Africa? 0:29:07.440 --> 0:29:09.440 You want to know where they're parents are born? She said where? 0:29:09.440 --> 0:29:12.480 I said Africa and Africa before that and Africa before that. 0:29:12.800 --> 0:29:14.840 Let me tell you who's the blackest person in this room. 0:29:14.960 --> 0:29:17.320 It's not you, so like, don't you know? And I 0:29:17.400 --> 0:29:20.040 just remember telling her that that, like just because I 0:29:20.040 --> 0:29:23.000 sound a certain way and I don't have hardly any rhythm, 0:29:23.240 --> 0:29:26.680 this is just true for whatever reason, like that doesn't 0:29:26.720 --> 0:29:29.520 make me less black, you know. And I'm like, I 0:29:29.560 --> 0:29:32.480 can trace my roots back to the to back before 0:29:32.520 --> 0:29:36.000 when my last name was one name and the village 0:29:36.040 --> 0:29:38.240 was started by my great great great great grandfather. So 0:29:39.400 --> 0:29:42.000 you know, I'm good on the black side. And after 0:29:42.040 --> 0:29:42.800 that they stopped. 0:29:43.000 --> 0:29:44.640 I didn't even get what it is, Like, what is 0:29:44.680 --> 0:29:47.560 the magic formula that makes you black enough? I think 0:29:47.600 --> 0:29:50.880 what it gets down to is socioeconomic status. 0:29:50.360 --> 0:29:52.680 And yeah, where you grew up and where you're from, 0:29:52.800 --> 0:29:54.320 And like, I'm not even gonna lie, I'm not from 0:29:54.320 --> 0:29:54.680 the hood. 0:29:55.000 --> 0:29:55.640 Yeah me either. 0:29:55.680 --> 0:29:58.000 Our family is my dad's family live in the hood. 0:29:58.040 --> 0:30:00.920 I go there over the holidays, feel uncomfortable all the 0:30:00.920 --> 0:30:04.800 time because I'm not of that environment, but I love 0:30:04.840 --> 0:30:05.360 my family. 0:30:06.000 --> 0:30:07.719 Yeah, And like it's so crazy now because I kind 0:30:07.720 --> 0:30:09.320 of live in the semis the hood now because this 0:30:09.360 --> 0:30:12.720 is where Superman is born and bred. And I'm like, huh, 0:30:12.800 --> 0:30:17.400 look what love brought me. But honestly, I don't mind. 0:30:17.520 --> 0:30:19.920 I don't know. You know, it was such an adjustment 0:30:20.240 --> 0:30:23.440 coming from African parents, super African at home and then 0:30:23.800 --> 0:30:26.200 at school everything is super white and then all of 0:30:26.240 --> 0:30:29.600 a sudden coming to a super black town and but 0:30:29.800 --> 0:30:31.720 it's been like, I love it though. I love that 0:30:31.840 --> 0:30:34.720 I get to see different walks of life, you know, 0:30:35.120 --> 0:30:37.800 as it relates to me being me and me being black. 0:30:37.840 --> 0:30:41.400 But you're right, what does black really mean? Like you know, 0:30:41.640 --> 0:30:43.840 is it skin color? Is it like you said, is 0:30:43.880 --> 0:30:46.360 it culture? Like if you can't whip in Nane, are 0:30:46.360 --> 0:30:49.400 you less black? I don't know. I think they should 0:30:49.400 --> 0:30:51.160 tell us, like what do you think being black? Neids? 0:30:51.200 --> 0:30:53.440 I would love to hear from the people from the 0:30:53.480 --> 0:30:55.800 folks listening at home. What do you think being black? Waves? 0:30:55.800 --> 0:30:59.080 Sweet us at the BA podcast, Facebook us this is 0:30:59.080 --> 0:31:01.760 what I think black mets at Brown Ambition on Facebook 0:31:02.400 --> 0:31:06.160 and email us at. 0:31:05.280 --> 0:31:07.800 Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. You can read 0:31:07.840 --> 0:31:08.360 those emails. 0:31:08.400 --> 0:31:10.840 I'm good. I don't want to read They're gonna be 0:31:10.840 --> 0:31:12.960 like you're not black enough. I'm like, oh no. 0:31:13.000 --> 0:31:15.280 We're not. We're asking what do you think yourselves yet? 0:31:15.400 --> 0:31:18.200 Like not not, we're not asking Mandy or me, but 0:31:18.280 --> 0:31:19.880 what you just think that being black needs? 0:31:19.880 --> 0:31:21.520 What's going to happen when my last name is all 0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:24.960 of a sudden, like like my new name will be Santos, 0:31:25.200 --> 0:31:26.320 that's my new last name. 0:31:26.320 --> 0:31:29.720 Then you know what's going to happen? Everyone who who's Hispanic. 0:31:29.920 --> 0:31:31.920 When they see you and you don't speak Spanish, they'recause 0:31:31.920 --> 0:31:33.240 I think they're trying to deny your culture. 0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:34.360 They're gonna. 0:31:34.480 --> 0:31:36.920 I feel like people will be like, oh, you're in 0:31:37.040 --> 0:31:38.880 Hispanish like that is like I feel like people will 0:31:38.920 --> 0:31:41.160 be finally like, oh that makes sense. Yeah you look brown, 0:31:41.200 --> 0:31:42.600 you're probably probably Dominican. 0:31:42.920 --> 0:31:43.160 Yep. 0:31:43.600 --> 0:31:46.240 But I love I love being ambiguous because it's allowed 0:31:46.240 --> 0:31:48.560 me to travel and blend in everywhere I go. 0:31:48.800 --> 0:31:49.520 I could blend it. 0:31:49.440 --> 0:31:52.200 In Brazil, I blended in in Chili and Argentina like 0:31:52.280 --> 0:31:54.600 I love blending in. No one asks me any questions. 0:31:54.760 --> 0:31:57.200 That's awesome though. You're right though, because you're right, you could. 0:31:57.280 --> 0:32:01.760 You're like, they're what they call it, uh racially ambiguous. 0:32:01.760 --> 0:32:03.520 Actually buzz he just had a did you see that 0:32:03.600 --> 0:32:08.360 article about celebrities you didn't know uh were like biracial 0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:09.440 or whatever. But some of them. 0:32:09.520 --> 0:32:11.000 Look at Rashida Jones. 0:32:11.120 --> 0:32:14.240 Yeah, yeah, I mean Quincy Jones is her father brown man, 0:32:14.560 --> 0:32:17.400 you know, and look at what we all knew that 0:32:17.880 --> 0:32:21.360 what's her face was? Uh, what's her name? Mariah Carrey was, 0:32:22.960 --> 0:32:25.080 But there were some people on there that I didn't know, 0:32:25.440 --> 0:32:27.720 like uh, some young well some of these people are 0:32:27.720 --> 0:32:31.960 too young for us to really care about. But yeah, wow, 0:32:32.360 --> 0:32:34.120 that was a long brown break. Did you even do 0:32:34.200 --> 0:32:35.280 your brown break or not? 0:32:35.840 --> 0:32:37.800 But I can do a brown break from people asking 0:32:37.840 --> 0:32:41.400 me what I am? Okay, that's good, how black I 0:32:41.440 --> 0:32:43.400 am and telling me whether or not I'm black. 0:32:45.120 --> 0:32:47.120 Yes, we could definitely take a break from that. So 0:32:47.360 --> 0:32:49.640 a matter of fact, don't get up the emails. I 0:32:49.680 --> 0:32:53.040 think that we're taking over. We're taking a brown break 0:32:53.040 --> 0:32:54.720 from that, and we're canceling that. 0:32:55.560 --> 0:32:58.120 I really wanted this podcast to not just speak to 0:32:58.120 --> 0:32:59.320 speak of women of color, you know. 0:32:59.320 --> 0:33:00.600 That's why it's called ambition. 0:33:00.720 --> 0:33:02.800 And I think that even though we may not like 0:33:02.920 --> 0:33:05.800 I may not be Hispanic, and you may not be 0:33:05.880 --> 0:33:08.000 Indian American or some other race, you know, Like I 0:33:08.040 --> 0:33:11.840 feel like there are shared experiences of being other that 0:33:11.880 --> 0:33:14.160 we can all relate to and speak from. And that's 0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:17.400 why that was the whole sort of impetus for this podcast. 0:33:17.480 --> 0:33:19.400 And I hope it feels inclusive and people feel like 0:33:19.400 --> 0:33:20.960 they can get something out of it no matter where 0:33:20.960 --> 0:33:21.320 you're from. 0:33:21.960 --> 0:33:23.400 Yeah, I think so. I don't think we get like 0:33:23.440 --> 0:33:25.640 super race happy most of the time. I mean, but 0:33:25.680 --> 0:33:27.480 it's good to bring it up when it comes up, you. 0:33:27.400 --> 0:33:41.040 Know, definitely, definitely, So let's. 0:33:40.880 --> 0:33:47.560 Go right into wins when right when the two of us, 0:33:48.520 --> 0:33:51.120 I like that song Ben, that's just random anyway. So 0:33:51.360 --> 0:33:52.720 a win and what is a good win? 0:33:54.760 --> 0:33:55.520 I have a win? 0:33:55.920 --> 0:33:57.000 Okay, what well? 0:33:57.040 --> 0:33:59.360 I kind of told you about this before, but this week, 0:33:59.880 --> 0:34:02.160 I mean, I don't want to talk about my current 0:34:02.200 --> 0:34:04.360 employer too much, but this week I asked. 0:34:04.040 --> 0:34:04.720 For a raise. 0:34:05.240 --> 0:34:06.320 Ooh, how did it go? 0:34:06.520 --> 0:34:08.719 I don't think my boss is listening to this, so hopefully, 0:34:09.760 --> 0:34:12.120 you know, I think it went. It went well, and 0:34:12.200 --> 0:34:13.440 I hadn't planned on doing it. 0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:15.120 I didn't have, like, you know, I didn't have a 0:34:15.120 --> 0:34:18.600 PowerPoint slide presentation of my you know, accomplishments for the 0:34:18.640 --> 0:34:20.880 past year. But I just know that the cute that 0:34:21.120 --> 0:34:23.479 third quarter is really an important in time to ask 0:34:23.520 --> 0:34:25.480 for promotion and a raise because this is the time 0:34:25.480 --> 0:34:27.479 when they make all the decisions going into the last 0:34:27.520 --> 0:34:31.560 quarter before the fiscal year ends. So from a strategy point, 0:34:31.560 --> 0:34:34.840 I was like, now, we're never now or never. He 0:34:34.960 --> 0:34:37.040 was very receptive, and I'm really glad I did it 0:34:37.080 --> 0:34:39.560 because one thing he told me was, Wow, no one 0:34:39.600 --> 0:34:42.880 else has asked me this all year, like no one else. 0:34:42.760 --> 0:34:46.120 Has asked, and I'm like, yep, you know what. 0:34:46.120 --> 0:34:47.840 The first thing I did was I went back to 0:34:47.880 --> 0:34:49.520 my desk and I told the two One of my 0:34:49.560 --> 0:34:52.560 two close work friends are both women. I was like, ladies, 0:34:53.080 --> 0:34:55.479 do not be afraid to ask, go ask for a raise. 0:34:55.480 --> 0:34:56.920 And I know one of them went to ask, and 0:34:56.920 --> 0:34:58.560 I'm pretty sure the other one's going to ask soon. 0:34:58.680 --> 0:35:01.400 Good And I was like, there's and you know, I 0:35:01.400 --> 0:35:03.160 didn't even feel like, oh, you know, I don't want 0:35:03.160 --> 0:35:06.320 to tell anybody that this guy you know, seems open 0:35:06.360 --> 0:35:06.640 to it. 0:35:06.719 --> 0:35:08.840 You know. I wanted to share that because. 0:35:08.640 --> 0:35:11.600 I feel like information is power, Yeah, and we should 0:35:11.600 --> 0:35:14.600 tell each other everything we know about what it's, what 0:35:14.680 --> 0:35:16.759 it takes to get to the next level. And there's 0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:18.640 enough out there for everybody. So I was pretty proud 0:35:18.640 --> 0:35:20.799 of that moment. I mean, who knows if it'll happen. 0:35:20.800 --> 0:35:23.200 But still, the fact that you ask, that's huge, you know, 0:35:23.560 --> 0:35:24.120 and you never know. 0:35:24.160 --> 0:35:25.720 If you don't ask, all you do is get. 0:35:25.600 --> 0:35:28.960 Bitter, exactly. The answers always know if you don't ask. 0:35:29.520 --> 0:35:31.960 And I will say this, I didn't We're supposed to 0:35:31.960 --> 0:35:34.200 have reviews and I didn't get a review this this 0:35:34.600 --> 0:35:38.719 past quarter, and everyone no one got a review, and 0:35:38.880 --> 0:35:40.920 everyone's sort of just let you know, they grumbled about it, 0:35:40.960 --> 0:35:42.840 but no one actually did anything. And I was like, 0:35:43.440 --> 0:35:45.760 I'm just going to ask my manager for a review 0:35:45.800 --> 0:35:46.960 and I'm going to ask for a raise. 0:35:47.000 --> 0:35:47.759 I'm just going to do it. 0:35:47.840 --> 0:35:50.799 And I hear people complaining about, oh, my manager doesn't 0:35:50.800 --> 0:35:52.400 never give me a chance to you know, have a 0:35:52.480 --> 0:35:53.680 review or sit down with me. 0:35:53.760 --> 0:35:55.720 And sometimes you just got to do it yourself. 0:35:55.760 --> 0:35:59.279 I'm not saying it's not ideal, but you got to 0:35:59.320 --> 0:36:02.680 take the initiative sometimes if your vanager is not doing 0:36:02.680 --> 0:36:04.520 it for you because he's not there to mean he's not, 0:36:04.840 --> 0:36:07.560 they're not. They have so much on their plate. You know, 0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:09.880 one employee maybe isn't the priority. So you have to, 0:36:10.000 --> 0:36:11.520 you know, speak up for yourself in that way. 0:36:11.719 --> 0:36:13.919 Exactly. The squeak what is it, The squeaky wheel gets 0:36:13.960 --> 0:36:14.759 the oil. 0:36:15.360 --> 0:36:20.040 I'm a squeaky wheel. I'm just squeaky everything. 0:36:20.120 --> 0:36:21.680 And then let me tell you, I was nosing about 0:36:21.719 --> 0:36:23.960 trying to figure everybody makes like what can I ask for? 0:36:24.040 --> 0:36:27.200 What's possible? I ask all the awkward questions. I'm squeaky 0:36:27.920 --> 0:36:29.480 that's good. Get in trouble one day. 0:36:30.000 --> 0:36:33.040 No, most people are not are not squeaky. What was 0:36:33.080 --> 0:36:33.680 I going to say? 0:36:34.040 --> 0:36:34.200 Uh? 0:36:35.760 --> 0:36:39.640 My win is I'm leaving tomorrow morning on my first 0:36:39.640 --> 0:36:43.520 international speaking gig. Woo whoo. I'm excited. It's in Barbados. 0:36:43.640 --> 0:36:48.160 It's for this this Bridle magazine called Munoluchi Bridle. They're 0:36:48.160 --> 0:36:51.800 having a they have an annual kind of like bridal conference. 0:36:52.000 --> 0:36:53.799 Can you get me any coupons or like a free 0:36:53.800 --> 0:36:54.880 copy in the magazine? Oh? 0:36:54.960 --> 0:36:57.520 Yeah, true, I should I forgot about that, Like yeah. 0:36:58.000 --> 0:37:00.200 So they asked me to come speak because they're do 0:37:00.239 --> 0:37:03.160 this conference and all these Bridal professionals flying from all 0:37:03.200 --> 0:37:08.560 around the world. Some are coming as far as like Africa. Yeah, 0:37:08.640 --> 0:37:10.880 so it's dope. I guess they've done this before. 0:37:11.040 --> 0:37:12.200 Oh I'm looking at the Instagram. 0:37:12.280 --> 0:37:15.919 Ooh, I know, very fancy. And so they. 0:37:15.800 --> 0:37:17.520 Were like samples back. 0:37:17.920 --> 0:37:21.279 Well maybe get true. And she asked me to come 0:37:21.360 --> 0:37:23.360 because she said one of the number one things I 0:37:23.360 --> 0:37:25.919 guess the participants of the last conference that they wanted 0:37:25.920 --> 0:37:27.920 to learn about was how do you budget as a 0:37:28.239 --> 0:37:30.920 as a business owner? And I was like, okay, I 0:37:30.960 --> 0:37:32.920 can come talk about that, and she was like, you know, obviously, 0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:36.080 like the hotel, flight, food, all that stuff is free. 0:37:36.280 --> 0:37:38.799 And I was like okay, and then she was like 0:37:38.800 --> 0:37:41.000 you can bring anybody. Like I was like, Superman, do 0:37:41.000 --> 0:37:43.120 you want to fly? And he was like yes, And 0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:45.759 I said, well, let's see, like how much extra costs, 0:37:45.760 --> 0:37:48.080 and she's like, no, it'd be no additional cost for him. 0:37:48.280 --> 0:37:50.960 He just have to get his flight. So then I 0:37:51.239 --> 0:37:52.960 checked to see I said, you know, he has a 0:37:53.000 --> 0:37:55.800 credit card. I said, well, let's see between my points 0:37:55.800 --> 0:37:57.440 and your credit card if we have enough points to 0:37:57.440 --> 0:38:01.360 get a free flight. And we did, so, I know what, 0:38:02.560 --> 0:38:06.360 five days, four nights in like a resort in Barbados 0:38:06.440 --> 0:38:09.200 for free. So I'm super excited and just I know 0:38:09.239 --> 0:38:11.319 we're just gonna have a ton of fun and like 0:38:11.480 --> 0:38:13.439 literally it's just straight vacation for him. And I only 0:38:13.440 --> 0:38:16.160 speak one hour on one day, so the rest is 0:38:16.239 --> 0:38:16.960 just pure vacation. 0:38:17.200 --> 0:38:19.600 Holy crap. And they give you five days. That's awesome. 0:38:19.920 --> 0:38:21.400 Yeah. 0:38:21.920 --> 0:38:24.200 Yeah, so yeah, I'm looking at their instagram right now. 0:38:24.200 --> 0:38:26.120 That's why I got quiet. It's really pretty stuff. 0:38:26.480 --> 0:38:29.360 Yeah. No, I'm really excited about them. 0:38:29.760 --> 0:38:32.040 Are you talking about how to save and budget while 0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:34.200 you're with the business while you're playing a wedding. 0:38:34.960 --> 0:38:38.239 No, I'm talking about because these are all bridal professionals, 0:38:38.239 --> 0:38:42.239 So I'm more so talking about how do you oh yeah, 0:38:42.280 --> 0:38:44.600 how do you save? Or really just how do you 0:38:44.640 --> 0:38:47.000 budget when you're when you have an irregular income? You know? 0:38:47.200 --> 0:38:50.240 So that's what I would, you know, be talking because 0:38:50.280 --> 0:38:52.440 everybody kind of struggles with that, especially at the beginning. 0:38:52.520 --> 0:38:53.880 And you know, so I was like, you know what, 0:38:53.960 --> 0:39:02.799 I know I did well? How believe this is the 0:39:02.880 --> 0:39:06.239 end of BA podcasts. We are signing off. I still 0:39:06.280 --> 0:39:09.400 have packing to do. I just looking at my toes, like, yikes, 0:39:09.440 --> 0:39:12.879 I can't go to Barbados with these toes looking like this. Y'all. 0:39:13.560 --> 0:39:15.000 I know I have so much to do, but you 0:39:15.000 --> 0:39:17.640 know what, I'm excited and I can't wait to I 0:39:17.640 --> 0:39:19.440 would say get a tan, but I mean I was 0:39:19.480 --> 0:39:21.440 born with these sands, so you know, God did it? 0:39:21.520 --> 0:39:24.879 Builtin's on screen, That's what I call it. Yep, have 0:39:24.920 --> 0:39:26.600 so much fun. I'm so excited for you. 0:39:27.560 --> 0:39:29.520 I can't wait too. Superman's like, are you gonna bring 0:39:29.560 --> 0:39:31.880 your computer? I'm like, who are you talking to? Of course? 0:39:33.960 --> 0:39:37.279 Oh Vaca't you don't stop work? I mean, I'm not 0:39:37.280 --> 0:39:39.279 going to work extra extra like I normally do. But 0:39:39.440 --> 0:39:40.160 I have things to. 0:39:40.120 --> 0:39:42.759 Do, right, you know, I have a lot of fun. 0:39:43.120 --> 0:39:45.160 All right. Well, we will see you guys next week. 0:39:45.200 --> 0:39:47.920 I hope you enjoyed and keep in contact with us. 0:39:47.920 --> 0:39:48.880 Tweete while I'm away. 0:39:50.120 --> 0:39:50.800 What's your Twitter? 0:39:51.080 --> 0:39:54.719 Oh? The Budgetnista and Mandy Mandy woodroff Right, Mandy. 0:39:54.480 --> 0:39:57.319 With I at Mandy Woodward with an I and at 0:39:57.360 --> 0:39:59.560 the BA podcast. You left hearing from you guys.