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Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from MTV's

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Speaker 1: Girl Code Jesse May Paluso February six through the eighth.

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Speaker 1: Tickets available at Parlor Live dot com or four two, five, two, eight, nine,

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Speaker 1: seven thousand on the twenties. I thank you for college.

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Speaker 1: This is Chris speaking. How do I help you? Hi? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I have a complaint. Uh, I'm sorry. Can I have

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Speaker 1: your name? Please? Of course you can. My name is

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Speaker 1: Sage Willowbrook. How are you? Uh? You said, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: Sage Willowbrook. Yes, Sage Willowbrook. What's your name? Oh? My

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Speaker 1: name is Chris. That is a beautiful name, Chris. Uh. Okay,

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Speaker 1: how can I help you? Sir? Well, I was in

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Speaker 1: there a few nights ago and I had the top

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Speaker 1: sirloin and never since eating that, I've been very stressed out.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you said, you said stressed out? Yes, your

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Speaker 1: steak has caused me tremendous stress. Um, I'm sorry you're

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Speaker 1: feeling Are you feeling ill? Well? Is stress and illness?

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Speaker 1: If it is, then yes, I'm feeling very ill. And

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Speaker 1: I'm someone who prides myself on being very low key

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Speaker 1: and relaxed. Okay, mister Willowbrook um, can you tell me?

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Speaker 1: Can you tell me, sir, where you purchased the stressed

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Speaker 1: out meat from? I'm sorry, Sorry, you're gonna have to

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Speaker 1: clarify stressed out meat. Yes, you see, I believe that

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Speaker 1: when you ingest an animal, you also eat all its

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Speaker 1: fear and all of its stress. So I'm guessing the

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Speaker 1: steak I had came from a very stressed out animal.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, I don't. I don't know how you see

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Speaker 1: you see, Chris, Okay, it's not very full, it's not

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Speaker 1: very funny. It's a real issue, and I'd appreciate it

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Speaker 1: if you wouldn't it angers beef? So I don't know

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Speaker 1: if that did you say one hundred percent angry beef,

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Speaker 1: because that would explain where all of my stress is

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Speaker 1: coming from. Angry. I don't. I don't know that there's

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Speaker 1: anywhere that I could I could tell you whether or

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Speaker 1: not the cow with angry Do you sell high stress meat?

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Speaker 1: Is my question? Not intentionally, I don't know, So you

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Speaker 1: don't get your meat from a high stress farm. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: This whole conversation is new to me. So wait, so

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Speaker 1: you're telling me there are there's like a difference between

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Speaker 1: high stress farms and a low stress farm. Oh, yes, yes.

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Speaker 1: At a low stress farm, a lot of the cows

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Speaker 1: get massages and rub downs before they're sent to slaughter.

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Speaker 1: At a high stress farm, they just don't care one bit.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. And yeah, you can see how that

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Speaker 1: would be that. You can see how that would be stressful. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like dying is probably pretty stressful for a cowid buck.

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Speaker 1: I had a stressed out porcupine from your same establishment,

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Speaker 1: So I'd like to start an initiative for your company

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Speaker 1: to not sell any more high stress meat. We don't.

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Speaker 1: We've never sold porcupine. I'm pretty sure I've had it

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Speaker 1: there and it was I'm more than sure that you

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Speaker 1: you haven't. I've been working here for the past few years.

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Speaker 1: We've never had portugul. Have you ever had an appropriate finger?

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Speaker 1: I know what an inappropriate finger is? No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: an appropriate one? Okay. An appropriate finger is sort of

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Speaker 1: a digestive. It helps settle the best. It sort of

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Speaker 1: settles the settles the belly. Yes. Oh, it's like some

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Speaker 1: kind of like pill or something. It's sort of like

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Speaker 1: cleansing the downstairs palette. Oh okay, um, okay, I call

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Speaker 1: it flossing the mongrel Oh okay, I can't take anymore

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Speaker 1: of this. I'm gonna have to get off the phone.

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Speaker 1: I said the same thing with my first appropriate finger.

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Speaker 1: Wake up every morning with jubal phone taps weekday mornings

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Speaker 1: on the twenties, on Moving ninety two point five