WEBVTT - Claudia and Francisco: My Parents’ Immigrant Story 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.640 Hey y'all. This week on When You're Invisible, I'm so 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:08.360 excited to introduce to you my parents, Claudia and Francisco, 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:13.560 whose experiences with invisibility is super layered and fascinating and 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:17.800 often provides the origin of my own experiences. How did 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:22.040 you guys meet miky love story? How much time we have? 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:26.400 Like highlights played Biplane? Your father was working for an 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:30.600 American company in Monterrey. We met in a discotheq bar 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:34.519 a club like a club. Picture yourself in the eighties, 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:39.760 long before there was any internet, the MTV videos actually started. Yes, 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:42.879 a friend of mine. She didn't want to be alone, 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:46.080 so she will not How do you call it when 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:49.040 someone she wouldn't be a third wheel at their will? Yes, 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:52.800 she was meeting a guide friend. And at the end 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:56.800 of the evening, your father came into this place that 0:00:56.880 --> 0:01:00.680 I didn't see him, he saw me, I think, did 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:03.960 you yep? The nod yes, I did to hear. The 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:07.520 girls said, have you seen that very blond guy over there? 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:11.120 He's been looking at you? Say yes, I say, we 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:13.360 will go to the ladies room to see if he 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:17.160 approached you, And in a loud voice, I say, okay, girls. 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:20.120 When you come back. We are leaving. Okay did you 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:26.400 hear her say that? Oh? Yea, So he approached me. 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.920 Do you remember what you guys talked about. I think 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:31.839 it was a small talk. I guess when you get 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:35.280 to know each other. The only thing that I told 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:39.600 him is that I really like change, that I am 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:44.720 very open to change. No, God, change came into my life. 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:51.000 Which is the perfect segue. Welcome to When You're Invisible. 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:54.440 My name is Maria Fernanda. Yes, but I know not 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:58.200 everyone can rather are, so it's also find a coming Maria. 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:01.440 In today's world, we love to tell stories about people 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:03.960 who have reached the top, like people who have achieved 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:08.040 positions of cloud wealth power. On this show, I won't 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:11.120 be doing that. When You're Invisible is my love letter 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:15.040 to the working class and others who are seemingly invisible 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.760 in our society. I hope to build a community here 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.880 that will inspire you to have generous conversations with others 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:24.400 that are different from you, conversations that might help you 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:31.680 see life in an entirely different way. My parents, they've 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:35.320 had to take risks in that pursuit of change. They've 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.320 more than one time had to sell everything they've more 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:40.720 than one time had to completely take a leap of 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:43.839 faith on a job. They burned all their ships, their 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:48.040 financial ships, their relationships to be here and to pursue 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:51.160 something better. They went from like food stamps when they 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:54.519 first got here and then slowly progressed to a comfortable 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:56.840 middle class, which they achieved by the time I was 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.400 about fifteen years old. When you belong to more than 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:04.480 one country, more than one culture, and more than one 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:09.440 like socioeconomic background, being in between expands your worldview. When 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:13.919 you can relate to people from different places, you just 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:17.720 start to see different perspectives. It adds to the stained 0:03:17.720 --> 0:03:20.720 glass that you are. I think there is a flip 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:23.560 side if you're in between. One thing that happens is 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:26.079 people don't always know how to peg you. They don't 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:28.760 know what you are, so it's very foreign to them, 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:32.640 and then it's unsettling sometimes or they are like, how 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:37.120 are you here? And confused by your identity. In this 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:40.920 day and age, we have such polarizing media and such 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:46.040 strong convictions, but there's also a lack of acknowledgement towards 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:49.760 the layers of people and how we change and how 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:54.280 we grow as individuals. Sitting down with my parents was 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:58.560 an honor and also a little nerve racking. I kind 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:01.680 of thought that I would know what they would talk about, 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:03.920 but there were a lot of layers to their story 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:07.920 that I didn't even know, which I felt surprised by. 0:04:08.200 --> 0:04:11.440 And also there were some healing moments. There are questions 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:14.080 I asked that I had never gotten to ask before. 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:18.920 Let's hoperat it. So question number one, would you guys 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:21.520 kind of know? Is coming up? How did you grow 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:26.920 up in Mexico? Growing up was very different of my 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:31.880 childhood friends. I was a daughter of a single moment 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:35.520 that became with of very young at thirty two, with 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:40.000 four children. It was interesting to say the list, and 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:44.240 so many times difficult because we had to move with 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:49.240 my grandparents that by then they had lost their money 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:52.960 in a bad business that my grandfather did, and so 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:57.240 we live in a very small apartment where we had 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:00.880 just two bedrooms. So we were the four girls sleeping, 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:05.920 my mother, my sisters, and I and my brother with 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:10.240 my grandparents. But I had fond memories with my first cousins. 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:15.160 With your memos, my fondest memories are with them away 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:18.640 from their home. They will take us everywhere you know 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:24.480 parks and recreations, So we're very thankful to them because 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:30.760 we were able to experience many little childhood moments with them. 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:34.159 Being in that apartment in a second floor in the 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:38.160 center of the city, where they were not grass areas 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:41.440 or anything. It was a little bit tough. And also 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:45.480 extra curricular activities were not for us because who will 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:47.719 take us, who will pick us up? It was no 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:51.120 way to do that. And I went to a school 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:55.359 very far away from where I live, always with scholarships 0:05:55.480 --> 0:06:00.000 where my mother was an alumni to In this very 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:05.480 privileged school, I felt invisible, and my defending mood in 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:10.000 that wealthy environment was being the smart one, being on 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:14.240 top of my class always so I can be strong 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:18.320 in one way. Of course, it was defense mechanisms that 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.520 I had that back then, I didn't call it that 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:25.800 because I didn't know that. My parents always stressed the 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.599 importance of education, and my brother and I both used 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.680 education as a way forward, and it's really interesting to 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:36.239 see how that developed in their own lives as kids. Well, 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.520 my experience was somewhat different in terms of my childhood 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:42.719 and my case. I was the third of upper middle 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:47.560 class family in a smaller sitting in Mexico called Duranko, 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:49.800 And yeah, one of the funny things in our home 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:52.680 that was one of those small towns with a lot 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:55.080 of gossips that they said that we were very rich, 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:58.440 probably because my grandmother used to have a lot of money. 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:00.919 But the fame was that my father was just a 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:05.200 little that's the right term. Centric, eccentric, that's the right word, 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:08.719 because we lived very, very frugally. They never really traveled 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:11.560 to places, and my father, despite the fact of his 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:15.400 low education level, he was successful in almost every business 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:19.160 that he studied. Nothing really spectacular, but yeah, people you 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:23.560 hear rumors that we were felt the rich, which is 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:26.760 hilarious because it's like, I think about that and that's 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:29.360 not what I would have. Yeah, they had enough money 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:32.440 to give us a good living, and eventually the money 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.880 that my grandmother left paid for college for my brother 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:40.040 and for me in a private university in Mexico. And 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.960 our parents both were alive most of our lifetime, and 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:47.720 we lived next door to my grandmother, and we had 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:51.960 an upbringing that was fairly rigid in many ways. We 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:54.200 always grew up a expectation that we had to be 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:58.600 really good students, well behaved children, despite the fact that 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:02.200 my father didn't finished primary school until he was in 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:06.400 his twenties. His father died when he was six, something 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:10.760 similar to Claudia in this case, he was somewhat abandoned 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.679 in a horphanage at about six or seven years old, 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:18.160 so he had a really rough childhood and really rough 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:22.960 teenage time. So the reason he didn't complete school because 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:26.960 there was nobody behind him that supported him. But in reality, 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:30.720 what was remarkable and my father was that I'm an academic, 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:33.560 but probably he read more than I did. In his 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:37.440 adult life. He taught himself to read English and he 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:40.960 devoured all sorts of books about English. He was really 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:45.840 knowledgeable history, politics. He had a hunger for learning despite 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.360 the fact no education, so he had to work very 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:52.320 early in his years. He did so many different little 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:55.480 jobs in the farm and ran chair and even at 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:59.960 one time he was smuggling stuff across the Mexico US border. 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.240 We always ask you, please write your story. We got 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:05.120 to know more about it. We could write a book 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.360 about it. Limited series about the b s Family coming soon. 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:12.600 It's really sweet to think about these two kids growing 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.800 up in different parts of Mexico and how they met 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:19.880 at that bar and a year after the meeting they 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:24.040 got married, and two years after they moved to the States. 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:27.480 How did that come about? Whose dream was it? Whose 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:30.000 idea was it? And how did the other take it? 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:35.240 It was your idea? Well, yeah, but I convince you 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.560 I think the reason why we decided to come to 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:41.920 the US, Well, first I had a bachelor's in food 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:46.199 science food technology, and I wanted to explore the possibility 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:50.320 of conducting research. Commenced Claudia, that was our best for 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.959 our future. My career if we stayed in Mexico was 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:56.480 going to be only restricted to Mexico. If I go, 0:09:56.559 --> 0:09:58.320 I'll get out the green the U S I would 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:02.600 expand or something abilities. So, as they were getting ready 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.600 to fully transition to their soon to be a new 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:08.960 home in the States, they stopped and worked at my 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.560 uncle's house in Maine, Claudia's great uncle o Hiro's for 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:16.960 the summer as managers of his property, workers in whatever 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:20.920 needed to be done, painting, cleaning, or cooking. And what 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:23.160 was it like when you moved here for the first time? 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:25.280 Do you remember some of the first thoughts you had 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:29.600 upon arrival. Well, we drove from Maine to upstate New York. 0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:33.400 And when I saw Syracuse, I say, oh, this is awesome, 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.640 and you're doesn't. No, this is not the place yet, 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:40.680 we have to drive south. Syracuse is a bigger city 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:43.760 in upstate New York. And where they were about to 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:47.680 go was Ithaca, New York, home of Cornell University and 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:52.920 Ithaca College, and a much smaller city. Can you imagine me, 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:57.000 a girl from a very large city in Mexico going 0:10:57.080 --> 0:11:01.120 to Ithaca, New York and driving through these little back 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:05.760 roads and say, oh, my word, where am I going 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:12.320 to live? But when I arrived in Itaca and we 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:18.400 walk the little city, the city is just absolutely gorgeous 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:23.319 and the campus is just amazing. And as soon as 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:26.160 I arrived, I think a week later, I made a 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:31.000 friend from Peru in the Bos and from there, yeah, 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:34.320 we became friends, and another group of friends, and all 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:38.360 from Latin America, all of them. I love thinking about 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:42.080 my mom in her mid twenties, making all these friends 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:45.240 from around the world. And it's crazy to think that 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:49.160 this incredible adventure that would last the majority of their 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:52.600 life so far was started actually by the quiet one, 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:57.080 my father, because he was the one who had spurred 0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:01.640 them to make this big change. His expectations and sense 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:05.600 of responsibility were a little different. My expectations were surrounding, 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:09.120 mostly about what was waiting for me. As I started 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:13.080 my master's degree, I was concerned that I was responsible 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.960 for Claudia. So the setting was always where it would 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:18.400 be a safe place for us to leave. We were 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.720 very strapped for money because the first year we did 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.560 not have any support from the university. We didn't have 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:27.960 any fellowships. We basically, like we said in Mexico, we 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:31.640 burned our ships. In Mexico, we've sold everything and we 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:34.600 save everything during a year to be able to come 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:38.440 to the US. We were relatively poor. At least for 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:41.600 the following four or five years. We were considered on 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:46.240 their the poverty level in the US. Stay tuned for 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:51.840 more from one year Invisible after this break and we 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:55.160 are back to this show with no clear future, but 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.199 navigating as best they could. They were feeling their way 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:01.599 day by day. I love you have all the perks 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:04.520 of living in the US as compared to Mexico, because 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:08.120 at least in our generation, there are many things that 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:10.280 it was so easy to do that in Mexico was 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.400 a pain in the neck. The moment that I discovered 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:15.800 you could pay bills by mail. Oh my goodness, that's 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:20.040 great because in Mexico was interesting physically physically to pay 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.720 office of feature. That's changed your intention was never to 0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:28.280 stay in this country. First was a master's degree, and 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:32.439 then we decided to stay for a pH d at Cornell. 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:36.880 I got suppar from the Mexican government, which very grateful. 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:40.680 We tried to go back, but the economic situation in 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:43.160 Mexico was really bad. There were no jobs, and the 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:46.559 jobs that were really bad. So I was fortunately that 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.160 one of the professors offered me to stay for a 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:53.400 postdoctoral position, so we stayed a little longer. With each 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.280 choice my dad made came a slew of new logistics 0:13:56.280 --> 0:14:00.720 and paperwork for what felt like pretty constantly changed visas. 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:04.080 We started my master's degree under an F one, which 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.560 is typically even to international students. When I got the 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:12.080 support from Mexican govern and Fulbright, I was asked to 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:15.280 move to a J one pisa, and that's when the 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:19.360 complications came. J one visas have a restriction that you 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:21.320 have to go back to your home country for two 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:24.440 years before you could apply for a work pisa or 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:27.960 a permanent residence. It was going to be almost impossible 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:32.120 to stay permanently in this country. The University of Minnesota, 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.880 when they wanted to hire me, they were willing to 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.480 support me to get an OH one visa, an Alien 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.720 of Extraordinary Abilities. That was the title of the visa. 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:46.960 Normally it's a visa that doesn't last more than three years. 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:50.520 After the first three years, we had to renew every 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:54.760 single year. The complications of having a visa that only 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:58.000 last one year while you have a permanent job in 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:02.960 the US provided not a lot of uncertainty for many years, 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:06.480 but also some of the complications whenever you crossed the border, 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:09.440 like your visa was so rare. I remember being at 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:13.760 borders and having immigration officers be like, what is this? 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.120 I have to go check. At one point, when my 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:19.720 parents really could not predict how long they would be 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:23.760 in this country, we started to have conversations about what 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:26.720 we were going to do if their visa got rejected, 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:28.960 If we would go to Mexico with them, if we 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:32.520 would stay in the States with guardians, or what. These 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:37.520 kinds of conversations started when I was eleven and continued 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:40.440 until I became an adult, and then I eventually went 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.640 to the forts visa that I we were had, which 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:47.120 is the h one that allowed the possibility for you 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:51.640 to then moved to a permanent arrist. My boss at 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:55.640 that time made the miracle of allowing a fulbright scholar 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:59.160 to stay in this country permanently. But yeah, I think 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.040 I cannot say that I ever had the American dream. 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:08.120 To be honest, it's been an accident in my life. 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:13.240 Let's put away all those mild American stone steps milestones. 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:17.680 We always arrived later. We've been catching up in terms 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.400 of the American dream. Eventually we kind of fulfill what 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.880 would be considered having a house, having a secure income, 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.560 and then we can clarify it is the reason why 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:31.320 I were not able to work. They were two decisions. 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:34.960 One because my visa status, I was not allowed to 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:41.040 work formally in the States. And another reason is because 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.600 what I was a mother, I wanted to be with 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:49.520 my children. Thinking on going to work in order to 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:54.080 pay for childcare didn't seem too clos to to me. 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:59.440 In that equation, my fulfillment as a professional will come 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:04.160 second to my motherhood. If I had two children, they 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:08.719 will be my priority. So I did lots of work 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:12.520 under the table in Ithaca I had a home childcare 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.560 at my home so I could wash over my children 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:19.240 after the daycare, and itaca my dad was done with 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:25.040 his education. With that came all the rejections of all 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:27.840 the jobs that he applied to. My dad literally has 0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:32.159 a stack of over fifty rejection letters from this time. 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:35.240 One of the places that eventually accepted him was the 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:39.119 University of Minnesota. And when Minnesota became our home base, 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:43.040 that's when my family slowly started to see a transition 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:46.720 in our financial stability. We went from a two bedroom 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:52.560 small apartments taking buses because my parents were always working, 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:55.199 and had to split the same used car that we 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:59.120 had owned for many, many, many years. Then we got 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:03.720 to move into duplex and then from there got to 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:07.440 move into a beautiful house in the suburbs. That finally 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.360 happened when I was about fifteen years old. But even 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:13.639 at that comfortable middle class we still didn't see a 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:18.760 surplus of money because any extra funds that we ended 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:23.080 up having went to my family in Mexico. So while 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:26.760 we were physically more comfortable and we finally had a 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:30.040 brand new car for the first time during that time, 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:33.399 we were still doing what we'd always been doing. We traveled, 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:37.080 and we made it possible by staying with family, staying 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:41.440 with friends, always driving, and we would barter for every 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:46.000 single extracurricular activity. For example, to pay for the Minnesota Opera, 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:50.679 I sold point set as like a crazy person, hundreds 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:53.439 of points set as a year to be able to 0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:56.640 do that after school activity. So any time we had 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:59.920 something what was happening behind the scenes was a lot 0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:02.639 of hard work to make it happen, both on the 0:19:02.720 --> 0:19:07.639 kids parts and my parents party. After about twelve years 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:11.040 of being in Minnesota, my parents moved to Georgia for 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:15.320 my dad's job. Again, I'm curious, as you have moved 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:19.600 from the East coast to the Midwest, then to the South, 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:24.200 are there any big differences between the three or were 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:27.440 you guys made aware of your immigrant status in a 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:31.200 way that you didn't expect it. Fact, probably is one 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:34.879 of the most liberal cities that I have been in, 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:40.800 where everybody from all walks of life is welcome and 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:45.240 no one is strange, no queer people, no black people, 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:51.160 not Asian people, like It's a very large community from everywhere. 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:57.480 Probably I was suspecting that experience when we moved to Minnesota, 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:01.159 and that was not the case. In many ways, we 0:20:01.280 --> 0:20:07.000 really never made friends that were from Minnesota. They say, 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:11.400 Minnesota nice. Yes, it's true. People work an extra mile 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:14.800 to help you, to direct you. But that experience that 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:17.439 we had is that there are people that will not 0:20:17.600 --> 0:20:21.040 open their houses to you if you are a foreigner, 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:24.320 if you are from somewhere else. And the reason is 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:27.879 more simple that I imagine at the beginning to be 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:32.720 is that people have lived in Minnesota for generations. Literally, 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:35.919 it's very rare to see a Minnesota going out and 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:39.080 not coming back or even not going out at all 0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:42.960 from the state. Because they have great universities there. They 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:47.199 don't have the need and the family tides are very strong, 0:20:48.080 --> 0:20:51.280 so there is not chance for you to be part 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:55.040 of any Minnesota family because they already have their niche 0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:58.560 and it's a very large niche. So our friends were 0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:04.719 from outside that the transplant that established in Minnesota, so 0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:10.480 that was very interesting. And then Georgia, it has been 0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:14.480 a little bit difficult for me. When we moved to Georgia, 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:18.560 were actually more in the rural area. You're very spread out, 0:21:19.480 --> 0:21:24.360 and so we're like an hour drive to Atlanta versus Minneapolis. 0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:26.760 Was just hop skipping and jump away so they were 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:32.359 two very different environments. People is more racist, and I 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:38.760 have seen even people holding pistols or firearms of any 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:42.479 type a couple of times. I I've seen men in 0:21:42.560 --> 0:21:46.520 their big trucks with that air cape is fifteen on 0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:50.480 the top of their like the truck in the States. 0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:54.000 There's not just the culture shocks that they had to experience, 0:21:54.080 --> 0:21:58.360 but also some discriminatory experiences as well. Being in their 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:02.359 home country of Mexico, they were white slash white passing right. 0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:06.680 Mexico has its own problem and system of racism that 0:22:07.000 --> 0:22:10.360 is still being unpacked to this day, and it wasn't 0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:12.960 until they got to the States that they really felt discrimination. 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:16.480 When he moved to a different country like the US, 0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:21.560 the connotation of race and ethnicity and language changes. I 0:22:21.600 --> 0:22:24.400 remember kind of having to listen to my mom fight 0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:27.760 to be taken seriously no matter where we were or 0:22:27.840 --> 0:22:31.679 the context at times, just to clarify in terms of 0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:36.280 racist what have you specifically experienced, Well, in me at 0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:40.439 the supermarket, Oh yeah, well in the supermarket, I just 0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:44.160 had an experience. A man was very upset with me. 0:22:44.600 --> 0:22:48.440 I was talking to you on the phone in Spanish, 0:22:48.560 --> 0:22:53.199 and I saw his reaction. He was very upset, and 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:56.120 then I hung up because I need to pay. When 0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:58.919 I went out, he approached me and said, if you 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:04.199 are in America, you should be speaking in English. And 0:23:04.280 --> 0:23:07.760 I say to you, I do speak English, and I'm 0:23:07.760 --> 0:23:11.080 speaking to you in English. No over the phone, And 0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:14.600 I say, why I am talking with my daughter. The 0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:18.880 communication between my daughter and I isn't my tongue language 0:23:19.040 --> 0:23:23.000 in Spanish and say, I don't know where your ancestors 0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:25.840 came from, but can you imagine for them to be 0:23:25.920 --> 0:23:30.000 treated the way you are treating me right now. My 0:23:30.080 --> 0:23:32.720 mom is one of the most outspoken and strongest people 0:23:32.800 --> 0:23:35.360 I know. She's the one who taught me to defend 0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:38.320 myself when I was being bullied in grade school and 0:23:38.440 --> 0:23:42.440 middle school. And my mom taught me about hitting someone 0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:44.880 with a white glove is what she calls it. It's 0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:49.000 a Claudi Ideas method where you don't have to be 0:23:49.160 --> 0:23:52.040 mean in any way back you just shine a light 0:23:52.400 --> 0:23:56.240 on what's happening and the ugliness that the other person 0:23:56.359 --> 0:24:00.600 is presenting. We're gonna get deeper into a person, options 0:24:00.640 --> 0:24:03.880 that my parents have faced and how they perceived themselves 0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:15.120 in different situations and cultures. After this break welcome back 0:24:15.200 --> 0:24:20.919 to when you're invisible. The more my parents were in 0:24:20.920 --> 0:24:24.680 this country, the more there started to be an intermingling 0:24:24.800 --> 0:24:28.800 of cultures. Not only did it impact them, but also 0:24:29.200 --> 0:24:31.920 their kids when they eventually had them, and my brother 0:24:32.680 --> 0:24:37.400 and all of this kind of becomes an interesting melting 0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:41.119 pot of its own within our family dynamics. We tried 0:24:41.160 --> 0:24:43.600 to go back to Mexico, but eventually, as you live 0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:47.200 more here, you started to lose many of the ties, 0:24:47.320 --> 0:24:51.240 and eventually you lose your culture in many ways, because 0:24:51.320 --> 0:24:54.280 culture is not a static thing. But yeah, the fact 0:24:54.280 --> 0:24:57.399 that we decided to leave in many Mexican line and 0:24:57.520 --> 0:25:01.280 we're not exactly traders, but I guess our families resent 0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:05.080 to the fact that we left. That's probably the price 0:25:05.119 --> 0:25:07.639 that you pay when you decide to leave your roots 0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:10.960 in In our case, we came here, not as a 0:25:11.000 --> 0:25:15.280 survival like many other immigrants. In our case was because 0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:17.560 we made the decision that it was the best for 0:25:17.640 --> 0:25:20.520 our future. We could have stayed in Mexico because of 0:25:20.520 --> 0:25:24.560 my education and Claudius skills and education, we probably would 0:25:24.560 --> 0:25:27.960 have succeeded in Mexico. But speaking of like being away 0:25:28.000 --> 0:25:31.159 from family, what was it like raising kids away from family. 0:25:31.680 --> 0:25:36.560