1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: My mom is acting jealous with my boyfriend now she's 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: trying to break us UPO. So starting this off, I 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: twenty female, met my boyfriend twenty male in April of 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, eighteen female and nineteen male, and started 5 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: dating in July. So officially been together for a year 6 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: in three months, but known each other for a year 7 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:22,600 Speaker 1: and a half. My mom has never been supportive with 8 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: any of the guys I've dated, saying things like, are 9 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: you sure he doesn't really seem like a good match 10 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: and I know his parents. I wouldn't continue with that one, 11 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: thank god. I know in her head she thinks she's 12 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: looking out for me and wants what's best for me, 13 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 1: But every time she says something like that, it would 14 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: get into my head and make me question it too. 15 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: I get that, and when my past situation ships didn't 16 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: work out, she'd always be there to tell me it 17 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: was probably for the best and that right and the 18 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: right one would just come along. By the way, this 19 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: comes from deleted on the our slash Okay storytime su 20 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: I reread it. So when she met my now boyfriend, 21 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: he came over for dinner with the whole family and 22 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: then stayed for a movie. Left As soon as he 23 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: closed the door, she immediately said, he doesn't seem like 24 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: your type. What he's exactly my type. Don't want to 25 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 1: go with the too much detail. But he's hard working, 26 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: blue collar guy with dark hair, green eyes, kind of 27 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 1: like Harry Potter. Cherty Jackson's Kerty Jackson doesn't have green eyes, Yes, 28 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: he does what Percy Jackson's green eyes green lake to see. 29 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: He's kind, humble, makes me feel safe just by being 30 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: in his presence, and just overall has an amazing character. 31 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: I can say now that I'm completely in love with him, 32 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 1: but back then I thought, wow, this guy doesn't seem 33 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: too bad. Before we were official, he referred to me 34 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:42,839 Speaker 1: as his wife whoa buddies and told all of them 35 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: that he was going to marry me. So when he 36 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: asked me to be his girlfriend in July, I of 37 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: course said yes right away. And here starts this whole journey. 38 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 2: Are we getting a happy eyes? 39 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: Are we getting a happy story? Right now? Let's go 40 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: jealous and the stream with a happy note. Come on, 41 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 1: come on, come on, be happy, come on, I'm shaking 42 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: diyes like I roll a happy seven. After we started 43 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 1: officially dating we hung out almost every day of my house. 44 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 1: He'd get out of work. His hours are if he 45 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: never knew when he would be done and would come 46 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: over no matter if he got out at five pm 47 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: or ten pm. He'd go home and shower then came 48 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: over to see me. He basically conquered the phrase if 49 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: he wanted, though, hey, w freaking would he definitely? I mean, 50 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: he's wooding very hard right now. Okay, I had never 51 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: met a guy that had so much interest in me 52 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: and put in so much effort to win me over. 53 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: As he was head over heels from me, I was 54 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: secretly head over heels for him, and as the girls know, 55 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,519 Speaker 1: he was everything I wrote in my notes app about 56 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: my mom then had her opinions about him, but I 57 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: didn't care. I really liked this guy and I can 58 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: see it going further. So I didn't listen to her. 59 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: He seems all over the place and he's love bombing you. 60 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: It will fade. 61 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 2: Oh my god, this mom is the worst. 62 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: He gave me a proces ring. Yeah, she's she's just jealous. 63 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 2: Jealous of you. Don't listen to her. 64 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: Or maybe she's too jealous, she's gonna try to steal. 65 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 2: Maybe she really likes him. She's like, he's not your 66 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 2: time buddies mine. 67 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: And he gave me a promise ring at the end 68 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: of August and I loved it, but I could already 69 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: smell her opinions and they stick. I was actually kind 70 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 1: of scared to show her the ring. I knew I 71 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 1: would hear already it's too soon. Maybe you guys should 72 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: just slow down. Her actual reaction was just looking at it, 73 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: sitting at my finger. Didn't say anything at first, just 74 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: looked at the ring, then at me, then at the 75 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: ring with a neutral, confused expression on her face, like, 76 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: oh boy, here we go. Her actual response was does 77 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: his family know him? And his mom actually went to 78 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: Jarred together to look at them. Oh, Jared, like I 79 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: think it's a ring. I said, yes, they do, and 80 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: she put on a fake smile and said it's pretty. 81 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: I just said, yeah, she sucks and went to my room, 82 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: kind of defeated. Knew she would react like that, but 83 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: it's still hurt. Not saying like I'm happy for you 84 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: or be excited with me, just her judgment. Fast forward 85 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: a couple months, I started going over to his house 86 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: a lot more often than he would come over to mine. 87 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: I really like it over there. His family is amazing. 88 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: I think that kind of hurt my mom though. She 89 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: started jokingly asking if his mom cooks better food than 90 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 1: she does, or if my boyfriend was making me feel 91 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 1: like I had to go over there. No, it's not 92 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: just where the wind takes us. I like it over there, 93 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: So I always ask my boyfriend, who'd be okay if 94 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 1: I came over instead of him coming here? Doesn't mean 95 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: he's forcing me to. 96 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, she just doesn't like their mom. 97 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: Well, if you're gonna be like a massive d bag, 98 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: of course they're gonna go over to the other people. 99 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 2: Forced to come over. It was like, no, you're just 100 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 2: forcing me. 101 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 1: To away from you. 102 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 103 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: This kind of went on for a while and I 104 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: kind of lost motivation to come home on time. She 105 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: wanted to be home by eleven, and when I would 106 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: come home at eleven thirty, she'd be standing in the 107 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,600 Speaker 1: entry away with her arms looking at me, saying, you're late. 108 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: Where you've been gone? 109 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 2: Bed et no note. 110 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,119 Speaker 3: You could have been seen my Actually, my my thought 111 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 3: was the Incredibles like turn around. Like in the Incredibles 112 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,359 Speaker 3: when Elast Girl she like spins in. 113 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: The chich Oh yeah, ab, and I would just have 114 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: to say sorry. Then when I would leave the house 115 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: the next night, i'd say bye to my parents and 116 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: my mom would just say be home on time, sternly. 117 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 2: How old? Uh? 118 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: Twenty female boyfriend? Twenty male? 119 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 2: Okay? 120 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 3: So like, oh but she was at the time eighteen 121 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 3: eighteen and nineteen okay. So like someone makes sense why 122 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,719 Speaker 3: there's a bit of a curfew. 123 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I don't know how to explain it other 124 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 1: than losing motivation to come home. My heart started to 125 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: sink every time I pulled into our driveway, and every 126 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 1: time I had a day off work, she would be 127 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: working it. And it was just such a free feeling 128 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,359 Speaker 1: being home with my sister. We'd be sitting on the 129 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: living room couch and making food in the kitchen instead 130 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: of being in our rooms. Currently, now I go over 131 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: to his house. I don't want him around my toxic family. 132 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: There's more stuff that has happened with my older siblings, 133 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: but I never want them to come across this post, 134 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: otherwise they'll know it's me. I still, to this day 135 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,359 Speaker 1: hear comments about how he never comes over, and my 136 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,479 Speaker 1: mom saying comments about how he isn't trying anymore. Like, 137 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: did you forget about the first three months he came over, 138 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,799 Speaker 1: even if it was for ten minutes just to say hi. 139 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,480 Speaker 1: My older brother, who is single himself, has told me 140 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: to break up with my boyfriend multiple times since he 141 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: doesn't put any effort to come over, even though he 142 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: doesn't know about how our relationship started. I also think 143 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,279 Speaker 1: it's my mom talking in his head. 144 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 2: Got to be it's got to be the mom being 145 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,280 Speaker 2: like she's not right for him. Also, I just don't 146 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 2: think you. 147 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 3: Can really say you don't know, be this critical about 148 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 3: the relationship. I feel like mom always does. She was like, 149 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 3: she's like, I can't complain about like your partners because 150 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 3: they might turn into your. 151 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 2: Like marriage signific marriage partners, marriage partners. 152 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I kept most of our relationship a secret because 153 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: of my mom. They don't need to know every single 154 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:02,039 Speaker 1: little detail about him our relationship. My mom has added 155 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: my boyfriend on all socials, including Snapchat, and then replies 156 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: to his. 157 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 2: Stories that's so strange, like. 158 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: A picture of the job site they're working on. Then 159 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: my mom will ask where they're working, trying to make conversation, 160 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 1: and it feels like she's trying to maneuver her way 161 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: in through him since he doesn't come over anymore. When 162 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: in the beginning stages, she didn't even really try and 163 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: talk to him or make conversation. Frustrating and confusing. Sorry, 164 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: even though my mom hasn't held back telling me her concerns, 165 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: like does she not want him to know she doesn't 166 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: like him. I've had multiple conversations with him about my family, 167 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: and he's met slash Scene firsthand everyone's personalities, so it's 168 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: not like they're strangers to him anyway. So a couple 169 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: nights ago, I accidentally fell asleep at his house. No 170 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 1: it's not the first time now this has happened. But 171 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: I came home in the morning around six thirty, of course, 172 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 1: freaking out because I know my mom will be mad, 173 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: and walked inside my house. My mom is standing there 174 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: just looking at me, said, sorry, I fell asleep. She works, 175 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: so she hasn't been up all night, and she just 176 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: looks at me like I'm the scum of the earth, 177 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: says nothing, and then turns around and walks away. I've 178 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: been reading posts about the same situation with spending the 179 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: night at a boyfriend or girlfriend's house and reading that 180 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 1: it's her house and I should listen to her rules 181 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: and slash or not to let her bother me because 182 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: I'm an adult and she can't tell me what to 183 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: do kind of thing. But apparently my mom told my 184 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: sister that she's thinking of giving me two options I 185 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: break up with them, that she wants me out of 186 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: her house. She told my sister she's been wanting to 187 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: tell me this for a while, so basically, I break 188 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:37,959 Speaker 1: up or get kicked out. 189 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 2: That's crazy. 190 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 1: But she is scared that I'm going to go move 191 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: in with my boyfriend if she tells me this. Yes, 192 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: we're a Christian family and I would get shunned for 193 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: moving in with them, But being shunned or not, I'm 194 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: not going to inconvenience his family like that. I know 195 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: I'm welcome over there, but not to the point of 196 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: moving in. And trust me, if I could afford to 197 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: move on my own, I would, But why doesn't my 198 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,319 Speaker 1: mom want to have a conversation with me about it? 199 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: Why talk about me behind my back to my sister. 200 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 1: I don't want to be the one to go up 201 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 1: to her since I'm hearing everything she's saying about me, 202 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 1: and she probably doesn't know that. My sister tells me. 203 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: Everything makes me overthink about what she's making up or 204 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: saying about me to the rest of our extended family. Also, 205 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:19,959 Speaker 1: a couple weeks ago, my mom got mad at me 206 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: for spending all day Sunday with him. He works Monday 207 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 1: through Saturday, sometimes gets a Saturday off, but I also 208 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,959 Speaker 1: work every Saturday, so Sunday is the only day we 209 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 1: get off that we both know for sure we get off. 210 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: I left my house at like eight am and we 211 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: had an amazing day. Came home around eleven PM and 212 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: my sister is already in my room saying that my 213 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: mom was mad I was at home all day. 214 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: Ugh, this is just really yeah, this is really difficult. 215 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, the mom is not mature at all. 216 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 2: No, no, not at all. 217 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 3: But I mean, like I think a lot of I know, 218 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,000 Speaker 3: like a lot of stories with or just like also 219 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,319 Speaker 3: just people with parents like this, especially when you're eighteen, 220 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 3: because there is still kind of like technically you are 221 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 3: a legal adult, yeah, but there is still that you 222 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 3: are still financially dependent, You're still in the house, so 223 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 3: it is still they're able to kind of assert those 224 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 3: rules and stuff. 225 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: So for the past couple of weeks, she hasn't been 226 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: talking to me, giving you the silent treatment. She's like 227 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 1: this child. Yeah, this is why I'm pretty sure she 228 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: was so mad about me falling asleep at his house 229 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: a couple nights ago. My boyfriend and I are saving 230 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 1: up for a house. We've talked probably too many times 231 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: well about getting married and half planning when and where 232 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 1: it's going to take place. Well, my mom relaxed more 233 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,439 Speaker 1: after getting married, who knows, But the way she's reacting 234 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: to him and treating me because I'm not home all 235 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: the time anymore, just really hurts and brings me down. 236 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 1: I basically feel like she tied me to a rock 237 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 1: and is the only one that has a knife to 238 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: cut the rope, but she doesn't based on resentment towards me, 239 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 1: like she's punishing me for trying to be independent. Kind 240 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: of a random analogy, But I can't wait to move 241 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: out and start living my life apart from her. By 242 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,719 Speaker 1: the way, you should never live your life apart from 243 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: us by joining our lave YouTube face book every week 244 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: day at three pm PST. Probably live right now, so 245 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: taper profile habit. There's another relevant update. But so, yeah, 246 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: how do you feel with how overbearing this mom is? 247 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's really frustrating. 248 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 3: And yeah, I was about to say, as Thomas said, 249 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 3: op is twenty now, so two years have passed of 250 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 3: this kind of behavior of her just being hyper critical 251 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 3: and hyper controlling. It's very frustrating. But it's also like, 252 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 3: just from a purely logistical standpoint, it's like, unfortunately, unless 253 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 3: you have the money to move out, you do kind 254 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 3: of deal with it. Yeah, which like, obviously she's not 255 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 3: in the right for it, but when you don't have 256 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 3: other options. 257 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: It's you have other options, that's your only option. 258 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, it is very frustrating. 259 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: But there's another relevant update. So I did buy a 260 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: book called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. 261 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 2: I have heard of that. 262 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: And yes, there's a lot more to her personality in 263 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: my siblings' personalities, but let's not get too much into it. 264 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: And my dad, he doesn't really have an opinion about anything, 265 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: just go with the flow and no drama kind of guy. 266 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: And I don't want to tell two specific stories because 267 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: I'm afraid they'll come across this post. Anyway, thank you 268 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: for reading all this, and I would love some other 269 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 1: opinions and advice on this. I feel like I have 270 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: a plan to move out, but it's something I think 271 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 1: like you'll. 272 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 2: Have to deal with, yeah, until that day. 273 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 1: Until that day, and it doesn't sound like your mom 274 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: is going to change. You could maybe maybe what would 275 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 1: assuage some of her hyper helicopter parenting is if you 276 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 1: actually did bring your boyfriend over, because now it seems 277 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 1: like it seems like she like didn't want him to 278 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: come over initially didn't like him. But maybe if you 279 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: bring him over, she'll like turn a new leaf. I'm pure. 280 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 1: I don't think she necessarily deserves, you know, you to 281 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: do this, and you do whatever you feel his best. 282 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: But if you're trying to think about how to get 283 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: her off your back and how to maybe get on 284 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 1: her good side so she's not so like policing, it 285 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: might be a way to do this so at least 286 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: in the short term you can deal with it and 287 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: then it's long term, still have the plan to get out. Yeah, 288 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,079 Speaker 1: I agree, but I'd love to know you guys, thank 289 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: for your answers and the chat and the comics. 290 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 2: Blow not much you can do when you're living with them. 291 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's a little rough, a little rough, but 292 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 1: we got another story for you. 293 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 3: Just female requase thank you for the sixty five sec 294 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 3: Tell the others to also send pictures. 295 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 2: You can send me DM on discord. If I fail, 296 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 2: I'll settle for my usual art style instead, so you 297 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,080 Speaker 2: still get something. 298 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 1: Thank you. 299 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 2: That's very sweet. 300 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: Cool. 301 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 3: My girlfriend's aunt doesn't like me for some reason, and 302 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 3: I think I just made a huge mistake in. 303 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,319 Speaker 2: Front of her. Oh hello everyone. 304 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,200 Speaker 3: I am a twenty six year old male, non Filipino 305 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 3: and not Western, and I dated a twenty five year 306 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,559 Speaker 3: old cute Filippin up. At first we were friends. Both 307 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 3: of us are international students in college in Canada. I 308 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 3: used to find her with my other Filippina friend when 309 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 3: they switched us the previous semester. By the way, this 310 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 3: from Boomsnipers sixty nine on the charge I've subvered it. 311 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:08,680 Speaker 3: So we slowly became friends, and then we got closer 312 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 3: and closer until the bond was forged. Before we entered 313 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 3: the relationship, we set standards and talked about a lot 314 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,679 Speaker 3: of future subjects like values, religion, and finances, and we 315 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 3: agreed on them. What got me attracted to her was 316 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 3: her personality and her intelligence. Physically, she was tiny and adorable. 317 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 3: She used to tell me, I date to Mary. She 318 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 3: had been in a six year relationship that ended before 319 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 3: she came to this new country, and my last relationship 320 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 3: was in twenty eighteen. We agreed that this is not 321 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 3: a rebound relationship or a waste of time. We are 322 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 3: here for the future since we are both building our 323 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 3: lives and we have shared goals. We spent eight months 324 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 3: together and made lots of very good memories. I know 325 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 3: how happy and comfortable I made her feel, and the 326 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 3: same for her with me. Yeah, we had disagreements here 327 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 3: and there, like any other couple, but we knew we 328 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 3: weren't perfect. We acknowledged that this relationship would be challenging 329 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 3: because we are not from the same coldture. However, as 330 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 3: long as we are together, we can find solutions. She 331 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 3: lives here with her aunt, and at first her aunt 332 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 3: wasn't accepting of me. The aunt never saw me or 333 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 3: even talk to me. She just judged me based on 334 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 3: my religion and ethnicity. She used to tell her to 335 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 3: go marry a Canadian citizen. All the info I have 336 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 3: of her aunt is from my girlfriend. However, my girlfriend 337 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 3: used to tell me that she spends a lot of 338 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 3: time and effort to paint me in a good light 339 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 3: to her aunts. 340 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 1: A lot of time, she's like super good, so sweet. 341 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 3: Well maybe the aunt is like hypercritical and she's like, 342 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 3: I really need to talk about She also told me 343 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 3: that her aunt gave her so much stress and a 344 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 3: hard time, especially taking care of her aunt's kids. That 345 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 3: can be hard to manage as an international student in 346 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 3: a foreign country. Days and months past, we had our 347 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 3: highs and lows like any normal relationship, but we always 348 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 3: bounced back and our love never diminished. Even when I 349 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 3: returned home and we switched to a long distance relationship 350 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 3: for two months, our love stayed even though we had 351 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 3: small quarrels at the time, but we always pushed through. 352 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 3: On September twenty fourth, twenty twenty four, on my other 353 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 3: friend's birthday, we were in college going together to get 354 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 3: plastic forks and spoons. 355 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 2: We passed by two other. 356 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 3: Filipinos that we don't like and they don't like us, 357 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 3: especially me. One of them is a female who used 358 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,400 Speaker 3: to spread bad rumors about me to my girlfriend's aunt. 359 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 3: All the info I have about these two people is 360 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 3: from my girlfriend, especially the girl who doesn't like my girlfriend. 361 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 3: Their roommates at my girlfriend's aunt's house. Wait, why did 362 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 3: they all live at the aunts house? 363 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I don't know. 364 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,080 Speaker 3: Since my girlfriend is scared of her aunt, that made 365 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 3: things complicated. So when I saw my girlfriend waving high 366 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 3: at them, as a reflex, I slightly pushed her on 367 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 3: the back as let's go hurry. I intended no harm whatsoever. 368 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 3: She stumbled a bit and said to me, why did 369 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 3: you push me in front of them? I said, don't 370 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 3: worry about it, let's go. Our friend is waiting. We 371 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 3: took pictures with our friend, and when we were going 372 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 3: home together, she started talking about how that slight push, 373 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 3: because it was in front of them, would lead them 374 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 3: to reporting it to her aunt and all of her 375 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,800 Speaker 3: efforts to build my image, but coda waste. She started 376 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 3: crying because she thought I didn't understand, and it escalated. 377 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 3: I tried to de escalate it by telling her they 378 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 3: won't report it, it was just a slight push, but 379 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 3: she was more enraged. 380 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,120 Speaker 2: We reached home, argued for. 381 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 3: A bit, and then I left her to cool down 382 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 3: a bit before coming back. Bear in mind, I was 383 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,120 Speaker 3: dealing with some other personal stuff from other sides as well. 384 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,679 Speaker 3: When I came back after a few minutes, I found 385 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 3: her packing her clothes and stuff. I asked her, are 386 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 3: you going to keep doing this whenever we have arguments? 387 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:37,680 Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like he's handling it super well, but neither. 388 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: Is she Yeah. I mean, like if you push someone, 389 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:41,160 Speaker 1: ye should. 390 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,919 Speaker 2: Say, oh, I'm sorry, Yeah, don't worry about it. That's rude. 391 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 3: I mean, regardless of if it was in front of someone, 392 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 3: if you push them and they say like, hey, do 393 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 3: you push me and you're. 394 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,520 Speaker 2: Like, let's keep going, yeah, that's rude. 395 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 3: Then she booked an uber. I was so tired and 396 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 3: drained in the heat of the moment, I wished her 397 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 3: a happy life. She left in the US, and then 398 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 3: a couple of hours later, I sent her a text 399 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 3: message on Messenger apologizing and such. She said she forgives 400 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 3: me and that she wants peace. 401 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: It was like a little bit of a no reaction. 402 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 2: I don't know, Yeah, I think so. 403 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't like getting like some kind of 404 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 1: forgetting like a or we're not getting all the information. 405 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: Maybe yeah. 406 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,639 Speaker 3: Then she removed the chat colors and nicknames, and I 407 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,919 Speaker 3: asked why. She said, because I'm serious. I let her 408 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 3: be for a couple of hours. Then I texted her 409 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,600 Speaker 3: asking if there was any possibility for her to come 410 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 3: back and talk. She's spoken slogans and said no, that 411 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 3: boat has sailed. 412 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:34,880 Speaker 1: Is that a slogan? 413 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,120 Speaker 2: No, it's insane. 414 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 3: Since then, I tried to reconcile and talk to her more, 415 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,119 Speaker 3: but no text worked. She talked about how she tried 416 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 3: and how I deserve someone better, and that I'm not 417 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,600 Speaker 3: happy with her and that she could only offer friendship. 418 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 3: Those were dramatic talks that were not true. I met 419 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 3: her face to face after the incident to further try 420 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 3: and reconcile with her and tell her we passed by 421 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 3: bumps before and that this is a small bump in 422 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 3: our future. 423 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, just like a small bump he gave her when 424 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,880 Speaker 1: he shoved her over. 425 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 3: And we're here for the long run. She started crying again, 426 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 3: and her aunt was brought up again. This time magically, 427 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 3: her aunt became nice and caring. We spoke for three hours. 428 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 3: I was trying to reconcile, but we didn't reach anywhere. 429 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 3: She says she forgives me, but she can't forget as 430 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 3: if I did an unforgivable catastrophic sin, which that is. 431 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:26,160 Speaker 3: That's not the case. Yeah, before she left for work, 432 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 3: she said, if you want to be friends, let me 433 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 3: know your decision. This does feel like a big like 434 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 3: I don't love Op's reactions, but it does feel like 435 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 3: unless there were other instances. 436 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,680 Speaker 1: I feel like there must be other things to because 437 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: then it's just like I feel like it's hyper dramatic. 438 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 439 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 3: After that, I tried again and again to reconcile. On 440 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 3: Monday morning, she said she would consider it, but I 441 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 3: needed to give her time, so I let her be. 442 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 3: That night, she texted me saying how we can't make 443 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,679 Speaker 3: it and that we are not compatible. She brought up 444 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 3: stuff we already discussed and agreed on since we met, 445 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 3: as if she doesn't know me after eight months, lots 446 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 3: of dramatic texts, not logical at all, So this is 447 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 3: my bad. I panicked, started begging and pleading and called her. 448 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 3: I lost control of my emotions. She'd picked up, and 449 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 3: I tried reconciling again, telling her we've been through bad 450 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 3: souring good together. 451 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 2: As long as. 452 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 3: We're together, we can tackle everything. She brought up her 453 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 3: aunt again and how difficult the relationship is, and she 454 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,439 Speaker 3: said stuff that doesn't make any sense. I tried to 455 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 3: reason with her and use a logical approach to paint 456 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,879 Speaker 3: the bigger picture. Finally, she agreed on trying again. She 457 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 3: told me, now I need to do damage control because 458 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 3: she thinks my image is tarnished with her aunt, which 459 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 3: I don't understand if this is a Filipino thing where 460 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 3: aunts are held in higher regard or what. She's not 461 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 3: even her mom. I always tell her I only care 462 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 3: about her mom and siblings. So h Colon says, I 463 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 3: think there's cultural differences in lack of communication. I think 464 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 3: so too, Yeah, because I'm just confused. 465 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: I feel like they're not understanding each other. 466 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I think she's been pretty clear that 467 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 3: her family is like her extended family and her immediate 468 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 3: family her are well harsh but also just very important, 469 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 3: and their opinions she values them very highly. And so 470 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 3: for him to be like, oh, yeah, I don't care, 471 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,120 Speaker 3: it's a little. 472 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 2: Bit of her fine. 473 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's kind of everyone sucks here. Maybe 474 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 3: she cares about my image and other people's opinions and 475 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 3: her aunt sayings. Then she sent me a text saying, 476 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,439 Speaker 3: this is my second chance, and don't mess up, or 477 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,120 Speaker 3: I won't offer friendship and I'll block and forget, as 478 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,680 Speaker 3: if it's easy to forget all those good memories and 479 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 3: how happy she was with me. 480 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 2: Oh long have I don't know? 481 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 1: They're young? 482 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,120 Speaker 2: They yeah, I mean they're in school. 483 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 3: So I told her not to sacrifice me and a 484 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,920 Speaker 3: relationship for other people's opinions. We are building ourselves here, 485 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 3: step by step. A couple of days after that, she 486 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 3: returned to not agreeing. On Thursday, I tried offering her 487 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 3: favorite coffee on her lunch break, French vanilla with a 488 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 3: quarter coffee as usual, one for me and one for her. 489 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 3: She texted something like weird. Like as a concern friend, yes, 490 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:00,400 Speaker 3: but as a boyfriend no. What getting her contry offering 491 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 3: her favorite coffee? And she's like, if you want to 492 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,119 Speaker 3: do it, like as a friend, sure, but you're not 493 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 3: a boyfriend, Like what does that mean? You just said 494 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 3: a couple of days ago you're okay with us together. 495 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,399 Speaker 3: And she even called me babe. She said something like 496 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,880 Speaker 3: if you brought me a gift or food, this would 497 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 3: end sooner the drama, I suppose. So what's going. 498 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 1: On, dude? This is not healthy. 499 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,160 Speaker 3: No, I was acting on her words. Before that night, 500 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,640 Speaker 3: I was crafting a surprise gift for her a bracelet 501 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 3: with her favorite color that says always believe my special 502 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 3: in the word mahal. On Thursday, October third, twenty twenty four, 503 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 3: during lunch break, it was awkward. She kept hitting my 504 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,119 Speaker 3: legs under the table gently. I didn't know what she 505 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 3: wanted or meant. Before that, I told her, you want 506 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 3: to go get coffee? 507 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 2: All bye? 508 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,479 Speaker 3: She said no with a face. Then I asked if 509 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 3: we could go talk outside. She was walking slowly behind me, 510 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,640 Speaker 3: and then the shocker. She stood about four to five 511 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,879 Speaker 3: meters away from me. I told her, why are you 512 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 3: far away? Get close so we can hear each other. 513 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 3: The moment I started approaching her, she started backing up 514 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 3: as if I'm a monster or odd zilla. I didn't 515 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 3: know why she did that. The conversation started okay, but 516 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 3: she was still not making sense. She was saying dramatic 517 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,360 Speaker 3: things like how what I did shocked her and made 518 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,440 Speaker 3: her terrified, and how her neck twisted, et cetera, which, 519 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 3: by the way, is not true because no neck was 520 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,440 Speaker 3: twisted and she was perfectly fine. Proof is we took 521 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 3: pictures after that. What her only concern was not the 522 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,360 Speaker 3: slight push, but because it was in front of them. 523 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 3: She even said that if I, as a friend, pushed her, 524 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 3: she would push me back. So the push is not 525 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 3: the issue. 526 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, every. 527 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 3: From the swamp says, the hot and cold blowing up 528 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 3: at the drop of the hat. 529 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, And Claire Goff says games games playing games. That 530 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 1: feels like this little baby, little game thing think so, yeah, 531 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 1: they're not compatible. Camping Campus says, this story is weird, Yeah, 532 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 1: very weird. I feel like we are having missing information, I. 533 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 3: Think, so, I don't. I don't know why she's paving 534 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,160 Speaker 3: like this. Then she started acting nonchalant. I was nervous 535 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 3: reasoning with her. She was on another personality, as if 536 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,160 Speaker 3: the girl I knew for eight months wasn't there. 537 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,440 Speaker 1: Okay, so it's only been eight months. 538 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 3: It felt like another personality filled with things that didn't 539 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 3: make sense. She started accusing me of having a temper, saying, 540 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 3: in hindsight, I knew as if she took time to 541 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 3: really think about everything from a logical point of view, 542 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 3: not an emotional, dramatic one. Then I got angry, and 543 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 3: she got angry. We started making personal attacks. We said 544 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 3: bad things to each other, and the conversation went to crap. Afterward, 545 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 3: she blocked me on Messenger, unfollowed me on Instagram, but 546 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,439 Speaker 3: left my number unblocked. Tina says someone else. 547 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe she juggle in boys. Maybe she could 548 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: be a boy juggler. 549 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 2: Possibly. 550 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,439 Speaker 3: This is very confusing. I just want to know if 551 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 3: all of this is justified. 552 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:44,679 Speaker 2: Am I a monster? 553 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 3: What about the overall good relationship we had for eight months? 554 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,119 Speaker 3: What about the good memories and how I made her feel? 555 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,119 Speaker 3: Will she come back and realized she wasn't thinking straight 556 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 3: by the way you guys can think straight by joining 557 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 3: us live on YouTube and Facebook every weekday? Would be 558 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,640 Speaker 3: confused to you? She stuf her port. 559 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,880 Speaker 1: Dude, I don't think it's worth it. Man, Like, you're 560 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: so confused. She's probably confused. I'm confused. Everyone's confusedone's confused. 561 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 1: Heidi Vincent says, breakup, and I agree. 562 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 2: I think so. 563 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,360 Speaker 1: I think you guys need a breakup. 564 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 3: Kirsten Dedu says, maybe she's listening to her auntie. I yeah, 565 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 3: I probably think that's I mean, if she holds her family's, 566 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 3: you know, opinions in high regard, she probably is listening 567 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 3: to that and hearing like. 568 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,639 Speaker 2: You know, you're right? Oh my god. He is you know, 569 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,639 Speaker 2: being horrible to me blah blah blah blah. But yeah, no, 570 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,120 Speaker 2: I think breakup. But there's a little bit more. 571 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 3: I want advice from Filipinos or others, because I've run 572 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 3: scenarios in my head and not one of them gives 573 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 3: a valid logical reason for her to break up like 574 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,159 Speaker 3: this or for all of this to happen. 575 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 2: Thank you for reading all of that. It is very 576 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,960 Speaker 2: hard on me because I remember all the good times. 577 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 2: I will add that she is not an evil, vile person. 578 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 2: On the contrary, she's one of the sweetest people I've 579 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 2: ever been with. It's not fair to let this relationship 580 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 2: go to waste because of hormones or illogical reasons. 581 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story. Man oh man, 582 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 3: man oh man, you break up with her? 583 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: What is this? 584 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,479 Speaker 2: What's going on here? I don't even understand. 585 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,800 Speaker 3: You're like, I'm confused, We're confused, We're very Why why else? 586 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 3: Why do you keep trying to get a rack? She's 587 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:16,959 Speaker 3: broken up with you like five times? 588 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: Y yi, But luckily we're not breaking up with you 589 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:26,399 Speaker 1: because we have one more story close out the stream. Also, 590 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: I don't know if you read this from Hannah but 591 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: thanks for the fifty five bucks. Ohpi's the AI version 592 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: of self improvement. Oh baby, all right, we got one 593 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 1: more kay, last, all right, last story. All right, you 594 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: ready you buckle it up, butter cups. 595 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 2: Buckle up, butter cups. 596 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 1: We're going into the oven. We're get cooked. My dad 597 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:50,439 Speaker 1: is constantly complaining because he can't wear shoes in our house. 598 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 2: This is my parents. 599 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I. 600 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 2: Have a yellow dome like sorry show shoes. 601 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,919 Speaker 1: My husband thirty seven male, and I thirty five female, 602 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:02,439 Speaker 1: are currently ignant with our first child after getting married 603 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: and buying a house earlier this year. This would be 604 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,440 Speaker 1: my parents' first grandchild and they are very much looking 605 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 1: forward to it. The problem is that my parents have 606 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,639 Speaker 1: caused a riff between themselves and my husband, and he 607 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 1: doesn't have any interest in coming back from it. By 608 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from Touching Grass eighty nine and 609 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,959 Speaker 1: we are slash Okay, story times, sabredet go meet your 610 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 1: stories over there, so do it. A little bit of backstory. 611 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: Husband and I have been together for nearly eleven years 612 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: after meeting in a city that we both had moved 613 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,119 Speaker 1: to far from both of our families. I am a 614 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 1: white Latina and he is a person of color. I 615 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,359 Speaker 1: grew up in a household where it was acceptable to 616 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 1: openly joke about race and religion. I obviously do not 617 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,440 Speaker 1: agree with this. Okay, do you see where this is going? 618 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,439 Speaker 1: Put some ICUs in the chatreat if you see this art. 619 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:57,159 Speaker 1: I moved out at nineteen, educated myself, and know better 620 00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,199 Speaker 1: at my grown age. Unfortunately, my parents still think this 621 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: type of talk is acceptable. I constantly have to call 622 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,679 Speaker 1: them out and point out things they say that are 623 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,280 Speaker 1: rude and offensive. It's gotten to be a bit exhausting. 624 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,400 Speaker 1: On top of that, my father has major only child syndrome. 625 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: The world revolves around him. He is never wrong, he 626 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 1: is stubborn, doesn't like to be challenged, etc. Classic Latino. 627 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,160 Speaker 1: But she's mo type of guy. My mom, even though 628 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: she doesn't always agree with his behavior, will still try 629 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,680 Speaker 1: to offend him because that's her husband. I would also 630 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 1: like to point out that there have been a couple 631 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: members of my dad's family that have gone no contact 632 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 1: with him because of how he acts, and others turn 633 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: a blind eye because that is just how he is. 634 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 1: So the dad, it's kind of like the worst. 635 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, so the dad kind of sucks. 636 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: That kind of sucks, and a family full of people 637 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: that are making some choice jokes. The dad has the 638 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 1: choicest jokes. Despite all of this, my parents do their 639 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 1: best to show me love, which usually comes in the 640 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:02,000 Speaker 1: form of financial assistance money please. They helped pay for 641 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: our wedding, gifted us some money for our house. They 642 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: have good intentions, they just don't know how to act right. 643 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: So my parents planned their first visit to come see 644 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: our new home, two and a half hours away from 645 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,360 Speaker 1: where they live. My husband goes out of his way 646 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 1: to clean, buys a mattress for them. We had been 647 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,120 Speaker 1: living there only for two months at this point, plans 648 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: and meals, makes reservations for a restaurant, plans activities, et cetera. 649 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:27,960 Speaker 1: He goes above and beyond to make sure we have 650 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 1: a good time. However, from the moment they arrive, my 651 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: parents complain y. We have a no shoes rule in 652 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 1: our home, which nobody else has an issue with, but 653 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: for some reason, it's extremely hard for them to abide by, 654 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 1: and they whine about it every time they come inside. Literally, 655 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 1: we've had never had a problem except on Halloween. Someone 656 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: was like, but my shoes were, oh yeah, and I 657 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 1: was like, I don't care. Okay, take them off. My 658 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 1: dad asks why he has to take them off when 659 00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 1: our carpet isn't even new. It shouldn't matter. Next it 660 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: comes the unsolicited advice about what we got to do 661 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: slash buy for the house again. We just moved in. 662 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 1: We are expecting a child. Fixing up the house right 663 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: away is not our number one priority. We took them 664 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,400 Speaker 1: out for lunch and my dad complained about the restaurant, 665 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,320 Speaker 1: asking for a tip when he had to go pick 666 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: up his food at the counter. My husband and I 667 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 1: made dinner that night. He was excited to cook for 668 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: my parents, as he had brought some yummy things to 669 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 1: grill that evening. Dude, I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. 670 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 1: I know I'm waiting. 671 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 2: It's coming. 672 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: When we sit down for dinner, my dad takes a 673 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 1: bite and his first response is hmmm, that's interesting. This 674 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,440 Speaker 1: was after he had been sleeping on the couch all evening, 675 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 1: not even bothering to lift a finger. My mom at 676 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 1: least came over and offered some assistance. Plenty of other 677 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,000 Speaker 1: things happened that day, but the list would be too 678 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: long for this post. The next day, as we were 679 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: coming back from an outing, my dad again complained about 680 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,520 Speaker 1: having to take his shoes off. Also, Hannah, thanks for 681 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 1: the twenty five bucks love sweater. Sam. 682 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,000 Speaker 2: That's why Hannah is so great. 683 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 1: I appreciate you, guys. I feel like it's a polarizing sweater. 684 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,320 Speaker 1: My husband explained that for him it was a cultural thing, 685 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 1: to which my dad responded with, well, my dolly part 686 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,920 Speaker 1: of that culture, my husband, so I only should take 687 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 1: off one shoe. My husband rushed off the comment, but 688 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 1: then added, you're aware that your grandson is going to 689 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: be part of that culture, right, to which my dad replied, ha, 690 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 1: we'll see. 691 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:26,480 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 692 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: That was the last straw. My husband left called me 693 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,560 Speaker 1: from his car in a parking lot and told me 694 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,280 Speaker 1: my parents needed to leave. After a lot of back 695 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 1: and forth, they ended up getting a hotel for the 696 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: remainder of their stay and had not spoken to my 697 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,560 Speaker 1: husband since until yesterday. Okay, what do you think they're 698 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 1: to say? Do you think they're gonna be understanding or 699 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 1: now hopefully? 700 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 2: I mean, like, come on, this is your child's partner. 701 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 1: I feel like they're not going to be understanding. 702 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 2: I don't think the dad will be Yeah. 703 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 1: My mom reached out to apologize for her behavior, okay, 704 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,720 Speaker 1: and he was very open to hear her out. He 705 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,320 Speaker 1: honestly wasn't even too upset with her and felt she 706 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: just got caught up in my dad's shenanigans. Except it 707 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,360 Speaker 1: wasn't an apology, not even close. Instead of owning up 708 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,680 Speaker 1: to her action, she basically doubled down and tried to 709 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 1: defend what they had done. At one point, my husband 710 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 1: flat out ass are you a racist bigot? Instead of 711 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,720 Speaker 1: saying no or that she was trying to work on 712 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,160 Speaker 1: that part of herself, she said, that's just how my 713 00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 1: family jokes. 714 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 2: Ah yeah ah. 715 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,200 Speaker 1: She then went on to tell my husband that she 716 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: thinks he should call my dad and that my dad 717 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 1: has just become angry over the situation. It goes without 718 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 1: saying that this call only made things ten times worse. 719 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 1: Oh no, So at this point, he's basically told me 720 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: that he doesn't want anything to do with my family, 721 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 1: He is done trying to be nice to them, and 722 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 1: that he doesn't want our child around them, and that 723 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,920 Speaker 1: he's upset with me for bringing him into this. 724 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 3: I think that's a very fair. But I think it's 725 00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 3: very fair. I don't think any person of color. Oh, 726 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,040 Speaker 3: who's like being in that situation to anyone? 727 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? One detail I would like to add is that 728 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 1: he does have a history with my family where he 729 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 1: doesn't let them push him around. We did live twenty 730 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: five minutes away from my family for nearly six years 731 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,840 Speaker 1: at one point and saw them semi regularly, so he 732 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 1: is aware of how they are. I think what has 733 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 1: changed is that he no longer has to think about 734 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,760 Speaker 1: how they treat just him, but now he has to 735 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: think about how they potentially treat our child. And it's like, 736 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 1: if they're going to be racist towards. 737 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 2: Him, Yeah, how are they going to treat my child? 738 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,160 Speaker 1: And what's that child's self worth going to be like? 739 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 2: Exactly? 740 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 3: And you do not want to raise a child around people, 741 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 3: especially in your own family. 742 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 1: So how do I feel about all this? Truthfully, I'm 743 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 1: sick of my family's behavior. It hurts because I do 744 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,560 Speaker 1: love them, but I'm also not going to let them 745 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,800 Speaker 1: disrespect my husband, and I don't think he should have 746 00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 1: to put up with how they treat him. His family 747 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 1: has issues, but they have been nothing but kind to 748 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 1: me since we have been together. They reach out to 749 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 1: me to talk and ask how I'm doing. They show 750 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 1: that they actually care about me. They've been a big 751 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,960 Speaker 1: part of the last seven months and can't wait to 752 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 1: meet our baby. By the way, we can't wait to 753 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,240 Speaker 1: meet you. On YouTube and Facebook every weekday at three 754 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,880 Speaker 1: pm BSD just top our profile. We'll probably live right 755 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,919 Speaker 1: now it there's another relevant update. But yeah, I feel 756 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 1: like the joking racism is not going to be a 757 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:16,600 Speaker 1: good look. 758 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:16,839 Speaker 2: For this kid. 759 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 1: No, no, And good on the husband for like staying 760 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,359 Speaker 1: there for himself and being like, well, he's not standing 761 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 1: up for himself, but he's standing up for the kid 762 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 1: because he's like he took it before and he's like, wait, no, no, no, 763 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,960 Speaker 1: I can't even need I need to stand up for 764 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 1: my child. Yeah. I don't think I should be stressed 765 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,080 Speaker 1: and concerned about my family right now. If they are 766 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,240 Speaker 1: angry and upset, they can thank themselves for their actions. 767 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 1: My main priority is just getting through this pregnancy. Part 768 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 1: of me feels terrible that this is the experience that 769 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 1: they chose to have while anticipating the arrival of their 770 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,840 Speaker 1: first grandchild, but they've had the opportunity to work on 771 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,640 Speaker 1: this and decided they weren't interested. I think low contact 772 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 1: is the way to go for NOWP. I think you're right. 773 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 1: I think so low contact got. 774 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,840 Speaker 2: The apologize off necessarily. 775 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 1: I think like they've earned low contact. 776 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 2: I think so, yeah. 777 00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 3: I think until they come to their senses, if they 778 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,360 Speaker 3: have them, if they have sense, they have senses and 779 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,319 Speaker 3: realize what they did hurt you and your partner, and 780 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,120 Speaker 3: come and apologize, then they don't deserve tof relationship with you. 781 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,200 Speaker 1: And it's also it's not even that they don't deserve it, 782 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,480 Speaker 1: it's like it's gonna that relationship could damage your child. 783 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,799 Speaker 1: So why would you Why would you let them do that? 784 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:27,719 Speaker 2: Why would you would why would you even chance that? 785 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:32,400 Speaker 1: Exactly? But we do got one more story