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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing position and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura and this is episode twenty four. Today

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Speaker 1: we're going to be talking about our wardrobes. Our guest

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Speaker 1: Courtney Carver, is going to help us with figuring out

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Speaker 1: the concepts of minimalism and a capsule wardrobes who we're

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Speaker 1: really looking forward to that, But first our own wardrobes. Sarah,

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Speaker 1: where do you shop? Where are you shopping these days? Well?

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Speaker 1: I haven't gone shopping for a while for anything fun,

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Speaker 1: because maternity clothes are not quite the same as regular shopping.

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Speaker 1: But when I am not pregnant, we're recovering from pregnancy.

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Speaker 1: My favorites are probably made well in anthropology, and then

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Speaker 1: I mix in things from Nordstrom a lot of times

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Speaker 1: through the trunk Club service, which I know you've used

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Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, and you said Boden Is that the

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Speaker 1: other one that you Oh, yes, Boden is. I love

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Speaker 1: their so a. Boden is a company that's based in

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Speaker 1: the UK, and they tend to be I guess a

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Speaker 1: little fancier, but at the same time very simple pieces

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Speaker 1: and a lot of them are very work appropriate, Like

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Speaker 1: I have a couple of shift dresses from there, a

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Speaker 1: couple of wrap dresses, and some nicer tops that are

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Speaker 1: really good for work. They're also one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: kid retailers. When I'm looking for children's clothing that I

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Speaker 1: want to last a long time, and now that I

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Speaker 1: have two girls, if I have something that I can rationalize,

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Speaker 1: oh well they could both use it, I go to

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Speaker 1: Boden because they are definitely pricier than they like. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're not crazy otherworldly designer pricey. I would just say

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Speaker 1: maybe like twenty five to fifty percent more than an

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Speaker 1: equivalent item would cost it say Gap or maybe two

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Speaker 1: times Target. But they definitely last twice as long and

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Speaker 1: their kid designing is just on point to me. It's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: What about you. Well, since I have boys, they've always

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Speaker 1: been slightly lessened the fashion I guess, so the kids,

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Speaker 1: it's all been Target and Old Navy and then hand

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Speaker 1: me downs from older cousins for instance. Then they've started

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Speaker 1: to get a little bit more into it. My eight

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Speaker 1: year old is a wee bit of a more of

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Speaker 1: a fashion conjert. He actually asked for and got at

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Speaker 1: one point a leather jacket that he loves to wear

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Speaker 1: during the fall and spring seasons. And he has these

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Speaker 1: like dark skinny jeans he wears. It's just hilarious. Oh

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Speaker 1: that's no, we're the I mean the older My oldest

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Speaker 1: son would have worn sweatpants forever. I finally made him

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Speaker 1: stop because I'm just like, you're ten years old. The

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Speaker 1: other children are wearing jeans. Like I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: really care what you wear, but just in the interest

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Speaker 1: of that you are expressing interest in how other people

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Speaker 1: interact with you. You could look at what other people

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Speaker 1: are wearing and try to match it. I hate having

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Speaker 1: that conversation, but you know, it's it's inevitable. I guess

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Speaker 1: I feel like, well, with my older who's almost six, now,

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Speaker 1: there's this sort of narrow intersection of what I think

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Speaker 1: is cute and what she thinks is cute, and maybe

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Speaker 1: I will get to that point. I know a lot

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Speaker 1: of parents of older children do where you no longer

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Speaker 1: care if you like your kids clothes. But I'm definitely

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Speaker 1: not there yet. So if she wants some hideous like

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Speaker 1: emoji covered shirt, I will gently try to at least

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Speaker 1: steer her to something else. And I've found that companies

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Speaker 1: like Bowden and t have these like nice child friendly

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Speaker 1: prints that are also really inoffensive from my perspective, So

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Speaker 1: that's kind of another part of my game. I will

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Speaker 1: say I buy my kids clothes based on what I

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Speaker 1: want to see them in to some extent, not based

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Speaker 1: on their preferences. Yet that may be more a function

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Speaker 1: of age than anything else. And I will say boys

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Speaker 1: clothes is so much less fun. And I buy a

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Speaker 1: lot of Cameron stuff a Gap because I have a

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Speaker 1: Gap credit card, and I get insane amounts of credits,

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Speaker 1: and then when I combine that with their discounts, I

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Speaker 1: can often get something like four pairs of pants, two shirts,

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Speaker 1: and a bathing suit for nine dollars. Maybe I should

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Speaker 1: look at you if you use the credit card and

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Speaker 1: This is not an ad guys, by the way, just

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Speaker 1: nothing sponsor here and nothing sponsored if you use the

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Speaker 1: card for groceries, I believe it's like three times points,

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Speaker 1: so I figure that out. So that's the card we

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Speaker 1: use all the time for grocery shopping. So I don't

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Speaker 1: it seems like I'm definitely on the winning end of

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Speaker 1: whatever dealers. So does your daughter like this? There's these

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Speaker 1: teeny boppers shops like was it justice? She doesn't know,

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Speaker 1: but so we have older female cousins who have passed

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Speaker 1: down stuff to my daughter, so it's just the hilarious.

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Speaker 1: I mean, a shirt that'll be like t unicorn or something,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, I guess she's more into

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Speaker 1: like fuzzy pants. Still at this point she likes to

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Speaker 1: wear leggings that are fuzzy when they just get those

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Speaker 1: at Target. And then if the shirt has sequence on it,

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Speaker 1: it's like a major win. Which for the most part,

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Speaker 1: they can still be laundered, and given that they cost

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Speaker 1: like ten dollars, it's okay even if they fall apart

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Speaker 1: after a couple of couple of washes, but well then

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Speaker 1: then you at least don't have to keep looking at it.

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Speaker 1: For you very cute. It's like, oh JM, yeah, that

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Speaker 1: one fell apart. So I mean for me, I do

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Speaker 1: a lot of Nordstrom trunk stuff. I like straight like jeans.

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Speaker 1: I'll talk more about that later, I guess. But let's

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Speaker 1: reminder some people may not know what nordstrum. It has

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Speaker 1: a service that's called Trunk Club, which basically their stylist

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Speaker 1: will send you stuff that is your size and what

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Speaker 1: they know of your preference, and then you, you know,

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Speaker 1: keep what you want, send it back and it's not

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Speaker 1: like a monthly thing or whatever. You sort of elect

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Speaker 1: whenever you want to get it. My my stats will

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Speaker 1: like proactively put stuff together. I guess when they get

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Speaker 1: their new shipments in or whenever she needs to make

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Speaker 1: her numbers or whatever it is that that drives that process.

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Speaker 1: But uh, you know, I used to do stitch Fix,

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Speaker 1: and then I kind of got done with stitch Fix.

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Speaker 1: I felt like they were not as you know, good quality,

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Speaker 1: as what I wanted. Even if I put it on

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Speaker 1: their highest price point, it just wasn't really stuff I

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Speaker 1: was wearing anymore. I like some of their stuff. It

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Speaker 1: was okay, but so so that I tried Nordstrom trunk

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Speaker 1: and I've been mostly happy with that because it's Nordstrom stuff,

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Speaker 1: which is where I would shop anyway. And then I've

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Speaker 1: also tried recently in in Lafleur. I think that's how

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Speaker 1: you would say, Oh, I've heard ads from that, and

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Speaker 1: I've been how is it? What are the quotes? It's

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of classic stuff. The straight leg pants,

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Speaker 1: there's shift dresses like long cardigans. Uh, you know, are

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Speaker 1: they brand name or is their own own? So it's

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Speaker 1: a private label, but I think it's well designed kind

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Speaker 1: of classic stuff, And in fact, I sent around a

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Speaker 1: link in my Twitter feed. Recently they had an article

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Speaker 1: on their blog that one of their staffers actually legitimately

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Speaker 1: wore five items from them every day for November, so

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Speaker 1: like twenty work days. She managed to combine five items

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Speaker 1: plus accessories so like scarves and stuff like that. But

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Speaker 1: still it's a lot of that kind of classic capsule

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Speaker 1: wardrobe stuff, which for whatever reason, I mean, will talk

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Speaker 1: about this in our main set. It seems to be

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Speaker 1: like the holy grail of dressing, Like can I turn

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Speaker 1: a couple items into a wardrobe that seems varied? You know?

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Speaker 1: And so I feel like their stuff can actually do that.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome. I would say the real victory pieces that

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Speaker 1: I've gotten from Trunk Club are those kind like a

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Speaker 1: pair of black skinny jeans, which I think you might

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Speaker 1: have gotten as well. That ended up being a staple

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Speaker 1: of my work wardrobe because it turns out if you

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Speaker 1: wear a shirt long enough, no one can tell that

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Speaker 1: their genes and super comfy and very and my two

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Speaker 1: the speaking things I wear all the time are both

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Speaker 1: Nordstrom Trunk things. I was sent a pair of black

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Speaker 1: Theory pants dressy pants and then a blue Saint John top.

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Speaker 1: It's like a shell top. So yeah, if you if

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Speaker 1: you google my ted talk, that's what I'm wearing in that.

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Speaker 1: And then you know the bone stilettos from Jimmy Choo's,

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Speaker 1: which is just my own selection, but you know, my

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Speaker 1: power dressing gotta gotta do the good stuff for that.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, I've I've had to convince myself

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Speaker 1: to buy fewer pricier things. I have definitely leaned in

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Speaker 1: that direction as well. I used to be a big

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Speaker 1: sale person and now I have to actually force myself

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Speaker 1: to just not even look at the sail section because

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Speaker 1: I found over time that the things that I keep

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Speaker 1: tend to be the things that I picked based on

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Speaker 1: their own merits, not even looking at the price tag

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Speaker 1: at all. Well, I'm super excited for our guests because

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Speaker 1: I am in this really great crossroads point of needing

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Speaker 1: to refresh my wardrobe, and I've been intrigued by her

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Speaker 1: methods for a while now. Well, we are very excited

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Speaker 1: to welcome to the program today Courtney Carver. She is

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Speaker 1: the author of Soulful Simplicity. She also runs the website

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Speaker 1: be More with Less, and we're especially excited to talk

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Speaker 1: with her today about a project she did called Project

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Speaker 1: three three three, which Courtney, can you tell us a

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Speaker 1: little bit about that? First, Thank you, Thank you for coming,

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Speaker 1: Thank you for inviting me. Project three thirty three is

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Speaker 1: something that is very near and dear to my heart.

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Speaker 1: It is a minimalist fashion challenge that I created in

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Speaker 1: twenty ten as a personal experiment because my closet was

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Speaker 1: so out of control. I mean out of control. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I was just shopping, shopping, shopping my whole

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Speaker 1: life and never letting go of anything. And I had

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Speaker 1: been simplifying the rest of my life for a few years,

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Speaker 1: but really had back burnered the closet and just decided

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Speaker 1: that enough was enough and wanted to see what it

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Speaker 1: would be like to dress with less. And I knew

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Speaker 1: that I needed some rules and accountability, and so I

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Speaker 1: created this challenge where I would dress with thirty three

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Speaker 1: items or less for three months, including clothing, jewelry, accessories,

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Speaker 1: and shoes. There were some things I didn't include, like underwear,

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Speaker 1: sleep wear, and workout gear workout clothes, but I also

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Speaker 1: decided that my workout clothes had to work out. And

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Speaker 1: the reason I included that is because I loved wearing

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Speaker 1: my yoga pants to everything but yoga, and I thought,

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Speaker 1: what I thought, maybe if I if I just assigned

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Speaker 1: those to yoga, I'll actually go to yoga more. So

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Speaker 1: those were kind of the rules. And I picked my

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Speaker 1: thirty three items and boxed everything up and just got

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Speaker 1: it out of sight, so that for three months, all

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Speaker 1: I would be faced with every morning were these this

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Speaker 1: small number of choices, And how did that change your life?

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Speaker 1: So many different ways? I mean, for starters, it's been

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Speaker 1: now more than seven years and I still dressed with

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Speaker 1: about thirty three items or less every three months, and

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Speaker 1: it really resonated with people. So I announced it on

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Speaker 1: my blog back in twenty ten, and I think there

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Speaker 1: were one hundred people that commented on that first post

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Speaker 1: and said, I'm in I want to try this now.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure there were thousands that were like, she is crazy,

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Speaker 1: forget it, I'm not doing this. But as of today,

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Speaker 1: tens of thousands of people have tried it from all

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Speaker 1: over the world. And so I'm learning that the things

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Speaker 1: I experienced, like easier mornings, saving money, less decision fatigue,

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Speaker 1: were things that other people noticed as well. But then

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Speaker 1: there were some all some really bigger shifts, more meaningful

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Speaker 1: things like people would experience less anxiety during the day,

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Speaker 1: which I thought was fascinating, even relief from depression, which

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't think that would come back to your clothes

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Speaker 1: or your stuff, but gosh, we're overwhelmed with all of

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Speaker 1: the decisions we have to make and all of the excess,

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Speaker 1: and so that adds some lightness and some relief to

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Speaker 1: people's lives, and it certainly did for mine. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: how what mistakes are a lot of women making with

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Speaker 1: their wardrobes that do add this kind of stress to

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Speaker 1: their lives that you think Project three point thirty three

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Speaker 1: was getting well if there are anything like I was,

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Speaker 1: then they are buying clothes not because they need new clothes,

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Speaker 1: but because of other reasons. They're shopping for events. I

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Speaker 1: know I shopped like I thought I needed something new

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Speaker 1: for every new event. Perhaps they're shopping to relieve the

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Speaker 1: pain of boredom or working a job they don't enjoy.

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Speaker 1: You know, for me, that was a story I told

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Speaker 1: myself often. You know, I work so hard, I deserve

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Speaker 1: new things, and I would go blow half a paycheck

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Speaker 1: on clothes that I would never wear. I mean, there

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Speaker 1: were clothes in my closet with tags still hanging. So

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Speaker 1: I think we convince ourselves that we need new clothes

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Speaker 1: in our closet when we really don't. And if you

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Speaker 1: look at what you're wearing now, even if you have

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Speaker 1: a closet stuffed full of clothes, chances are you're only

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Speaker 1: wearing your favorite things every day anyway, but you're feeling

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Speaker 1: bad about not wearing the other things. Like it's mental

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Speaker 1: clutter that's there, and you don't even realize how overwhelming

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Speaker 1: it is until it's gone. So for me, it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, every single day, facing those bad purchase decisions

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Speaker 1: over spending clothes that didn't fit me. Gifts that people

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Speaker 1: gave me that I never wore. I felt bad about that,

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Speaker 1: but because I thought every day I just it was

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Speaker 1: just the norm. I got used to it. But when

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Speaker 1: it was gone, Wow, what a relief. Did it end

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Speaker 1: up causing you to eventually give away some of the

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Speaker 1: things you stored away, or is it more like you

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Speaker 1: still have this repository of stuff, like logistically, what do

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Speaker 1: you do with the stuff? So after every three months,

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Speaker 1: I would go back to the stuff, and the first

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Speaker 1: season it was boxes and boxes and decades of things

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Speaker 1: that I had boxed up. And having that separation really

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Speaker 1: changed the way I felt about those clothes and the things,

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Speaker 1: and it was easier to let go. And so after

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Speaker 1: every three months I would let go of a little

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Speaker 1: bit more. And now I think it took me probably

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Speaker 1: two or three years of that seasonal, you know, revisiting,

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Speaker 1: to let go of almost all of it. And so

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Speaker 1: now I really have just what I need during the

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Speaker 1: three months, and then a small box of other seasonal

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Speaker 1: items that I rotate in. So it's like her trial separation.

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Speaker 1: I mean, once you've been away from it for you

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Speaker 1: can part amicably for the rest of your life. Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, so let's dive into particulars here, because I'm

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Speaker 1: sure everyone is very curious you know what pieces you

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Speaker 1: wound up selecting for your thirty three, Like what wound

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Speaker 1: up being really versatile in your life, and if there

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Speaker 1: was anything that you found was kind of your your

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Speaker 1: secret weapon, like you're surprisingly useful item that you kept

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Speaker 1: rewearing a lot in that time when you were relying

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Speaker 1: on just thirty. It's changed over time because my career

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Speaker 1: has changed, my life has changed, and because I was

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Speaker 1: pared down to so such a small selection, I was

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Speaker 1: able to really figure out what I wanted and needed

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Speaker 1: in my wardrobe. And I realized that that really looks

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Speaker 1: different for everyone, and it changes for people as well

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Speaker 1: over time. But for me today where I work for

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Speaker 1: myself and really know what clothes I enjoy after all

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Speaker 1: this time, I mean, I keep a pair of jeans,

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Speaker 1: a pair of leggings, and a skirt and a dress

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Speaker 1: in almost every collection, so not three pair of jeans,

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Speaker 1: just one I find that works the best for me,

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Speaker 1: and then the rest of it. Those are kind of

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Speaker 1: the bottoms and the dress of course I can use

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Speaker 1: in different ways, but then the rest of it, depending

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Speaker 1: on the season is a combination of accessories like sunglasses,

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Speaker 1: a tote bag, a purse, and then tops and outer wear,

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Speaker 1: so sweaters, shirts, and thinking about what's the perfect piece.

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Speaker 1: That just got me into trouble to begin with, thinking

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Speaker 1: that there was this perfect item that would complete my

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Speaker 1: wardrobe or be the best thing for me. And so

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Speaker 1: what I've discovered is that there really isn't something, for instance,

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Speaker 1: that I could say, Okay, everybody should have two pair

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Speaker 1: of pants, five sweaters, three scarves, because we're so unique

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Speaker 1: and different. So it really is a matter of experimenting

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Speaker 1: and being curious and knowing that it doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be permanent, So try it for a few months and

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Speaker 1: see for yourself what really works for you. Yeah. Well

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Speaker 1: with that though, I mean, I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: women want the rules because they're confused and you know,

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Speaker 1: we don't know what necessarily our style is or what

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Speaker 1: looks the best. How should a woman go about figuring

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Speaker 1: that out? I mean, what is the kind of questions

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Speaker 1: you ask yourself the experimental process, What should we do

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Speaker 1: to figure out what those pieces are the work? I mean, really,

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Speaker 1: just taking those three months of only choosing from a

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Speaker 1: small selection will give you a lot of information and

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Speaker 1: the way that I put that first list together, and

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Speaker 1: it was kind of a mess. I'll be honest, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't my best collection, but I really wanted to shop

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Speaker 1: from my closet, use pieces that I already had. So

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Speaker 1: it takes forgetting about the rules. Don't think about what

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Speaker 1: the magazine say, what anyone else tells you you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to be wearing or doing. Pick the items that you

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Speaker 1: think you will need and want in your wardrobe. And

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Speaker 1: what you think you need and want in your wardrobe

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Speaker 1: will change after those three months, but it's the best

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Speaker 1: way to start. So I make a list by category

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Speaker 1: of the clothes. And when I started this, I was

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Speaker 1: working full time for a magazine in ad sales, constantly

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Speaker 1: meeting with clients and colleagues and going to events. So

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Speaker 1: I knew that I would need something that was appropriate

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Speaker 1: to wear to the office and outside of work. And

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Speaker 1: so what I had to do is dress down my

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Speaker 1: work clothes about ten percent and dress up my out

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Speaker 1: of work clothes about ten percent so that there could

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Speaker 1: be a little more crossover. And that's how I started.

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Speaker 1: I really didn't have this set of fashion guidelines to

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Speaker 1: go buy, but in most cases. What I discovered is

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Speaker 1: that one was more than enough, which was shocking to

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Speaker 1: me that I only needed one purse, one dress, one scarf,

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Speaker 1: one pair of jeans. I probably had a couple of

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Speaker 1: pair of slacks or skirts in the beginning. I'd have

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Speaker 1: to go back and look at that list. But because

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Speaker 1: I was dressing up more and no one noticed, no

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Speaker 1: one noticed for a solid year that I was still

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Speaker 1: working that job and dressing like this. I'm curious what

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Speaker 1: you discovered on like as you did a few more

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Speaker 1: of these wardrobes. Did you notice that the colors were

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Speaker 1: all in a certain family, or that you lean toward

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Speaker 1: neutrals or toward a certain bright color, or anything like that,

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Speaker 1: Or perhaps was there a seasonality to it, like you

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Speaker 1: know during warmer months choosing a different palette, or does

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Speaker 1: it tend to be more it's changed from the beginning.

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Speaker 1: In the beginning, I had all the colors, all the patterns,

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Speaker 1: all the things, all of them. And I have pared

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Speaker 1: that down to today where most of my clothes are

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Speaker 1: very neutral. So I wear a lot of grays and

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Speaker 1: blacks and cream or white. Not because I don't like

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Speaker 1: color in my life. I love it. In fact, my

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Speaker 1: life has become so much more colorful as a result,

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Speaker 1: now that I'm not totally focused on making sure that

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Speaker 1: my wardrobe is colorful and creative. But there are also

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Speaker 1: really good examples of colorful capsule wardrobes out there, which

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Speaker 1: I think is fantastic. And that's kind of what I

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Speaker 1: mean by it differs for everyone, So it really depends

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Speaker 1: on what you like, but also give yourself a chance

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Speaker 1: to not know what you like or think that that

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Speaker 1: might be possible. Where we're thrown so many messages about

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Speaker 1: what we're supposed to be wearing, maybe we don't really

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Speaker 1: know what we like until we're just working with a

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Speaker 1: few things. And yes, seasonally it changes as well, but

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Speaker 1: for me, not so much in terms of color anymore.

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Speaker 1: Out of curiosity, what color is the one purse? So

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Speaker 1: I have a black toe bag and a kind of

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Speaker 1: a blush pink purse, so there's some color, Yeah, a

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Speaker 1: little color. And you do like do you like scarves

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Speaker 1: or bright colored accessories or belzers? I mean, I'm just

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Speaker 1: curious where you said the you have a lot of

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Speaker 1: color in your life but not on the ssard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not. It's not in my accessories either. I have

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Speaker 1: a black scarf, and I have tried other colored scarves

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Speaker 1: and plaid scarves, but I just never wear them. I

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Speaker 1: always gravitate towards that one, warm, comfy black scarf because

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Speaker 1: it's more versatile and just easier, I think. Uh So

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Speaker 1: the color in my life comes from, for instance, when

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Speaker 1: I am traveling and seeing new places, I'm not shopping.

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Speaker 1: I'm not on a shopping excursion. I'm not looking for

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Speaker 1: new things. I'm not thinking about what I'm missing in

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Speaker 1: my wardrobe. Instead, I'm visiting new restaurants and museums and

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Speaker 1: people and you know, really thinking about what I am

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Speaker 1: curious about. And it's not fashion for me. So one

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Speaker 1: of the things I think people might be concerned about

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Speaker 1: with with having, you know, one pair of pants, one

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Speaker 1: skirt something like that, is the whole cleaning process. Are

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Speaker 1: there any tips you have for kind of streetlining that,

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Speaker 1: I mean, are you going to wind up spending more

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Speaker 1: on dry cleaning when you are reusing the same pieces

396
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 1: or should you just avoid that dry cleaning issue entirely?

397
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 1: How did you wind up working that, especially when you

398
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Speaker 1: have the in the office. I did have dress, I

399
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 1: don't I didn't feel like I was doing any more

400
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: laundry or dry cleaning than I normally would. Now I

401
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,479
Speaker 1: think I have one piece that requires dry cleaning and

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00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: everything else I can wash myself. I do find that

403
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: I take better care when I when I wash my

404
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 1: clothes now, so I wash everything on cold, for instance,

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00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 1: and line dry whenever possible, because I think it helps

406
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Speaker 1: the clothes last longer. But I'm also probably investing a

407
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:17,399
Speaker 1: little more on the clothes that I have. So where before,

408
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Speaker 1: if I found a shirt that I liked and it

409
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 1: was only twenty dollars, I would buy five of them

410
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Speaker 1: in different colors and then still only wear the black one.

411
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Speaker 1: But I would that was my mentality, like, oh, if

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Speaker 1: one is great, then five would be amazing. So now

413
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Speaker 1: I might spend a little more than that, but take

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Speaker 1: better care of the item along the way. It's interesting

415
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: when this idea of experimenting and trying this challenge dressing

416
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Speaker 1: with less comes up, there are a certain amount of

417
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Speaker 1: objections that immediately come up. One is laundry. The other

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Speaker 1: is temperature. You know, am I going to be comfortable

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Speaker 1: with the different temperatures that I'm experienced over three months?

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00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: And so many of these things are just a non

421
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 1: issue once you get started and see for yourself. Yeah,

422
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 1: that makes sense, And I can imagine how your approach

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00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 1: makes the clothing feel less disposable because you really only

424
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: have a limited array, so you're going to treat it

425
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 1: with care or else your one pair of genes is

426
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: going to be And when you're talking about the dry

427
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,719
Speaker 1: cleaning or the laundry, I think one of the fears

428
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: is like, what if I spill something on myself? But

429
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: and I do. I mean, I'm pretty happy if I

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00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: make it through the day without spilling something on myself.

431
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 1: But really, like, if I spill something on myself, chances

432
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 1: are I'm not right by my closet to change it

433
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 1: out anyway, Like I'm out in the day, So I'm

434
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: going to have to deal with it one way or

435
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: the other. And it's not going to be switching outfits. No,

436
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Do you find yourself tailoring more things

437
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: to kind of make sure that the fit of the

438
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:59,359
Speaker 1: pieces you have, Because if you've sort of invested more

439
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: both liter and figuratively into your item because it's you've

440
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 1: chosen it for your capsule, you're more likely to have

441
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: it altered appropriately. Because that is a barrier for me,

442
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 1: I'll buy stuff and I'm only five to one, and

443
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: then I'll be like, oh, I'm gonna hem that I don't.

444
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,959
Speaker 1: But I'm not opposed to it. I definitely would if

445
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 1: I needed to, and I highly recommend it. I think

446
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: that's a great idea. Yeah, I would definitely tailor clothes.

447
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: I feel like I'd be more likely to follow it

448
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 1: through if I knew I only had this limited array,

449
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: then I would want them to fit appropriately somehow. Yeah.

450
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: Plus it seems less daunting to maybe hem two things

451
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: versus yeah, seventy I don't have seventy things. But in theory,

452
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 1: so you know Sarah and I. Sarah's really into the

453
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 1: decluttering stuff. Corney, you're familiar with Marie Condo right here,

454
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:55,199
Speaker 1: and do you have any like a fan, but I mean,

455
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: do you have any thoughts on on her methods and

456
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: when it comes to clothing and a wardrobe. I'm really

457
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 1: just thinking about her in terms of her recommendation to

458
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: hold things in your hand and ask if they bring

459
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 1: you joy. That's kind of her method that I'm thinking about.

460
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 1: So I'm not too familiar with all the clothing recommendations. Yeah,

461
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: we don't need to talk about the rolling socks that's

462
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 1: an intelle what I think about specific recommendations because I

463
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: have them, she has them. Everybody has a great idea,

464
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: but I don't think any of these ideas are perfect solutions.

465
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 1: I think we all have to figure out what works

466
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 1: best for us and know that that is going to

467
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: change over time. So what's best for us today might

468
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: be different in a month. So right now, if hiding

469
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,439
Speaker 1: your things and getting them out of sight and breaking

470
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,880
Speaker 1: that emotional connection works better for you than driving everything

471
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 1: to the donation center, do it that way. If decluttering

472
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,880
Speaker 1: one item a day is less stressful for your entire

473
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: family than filling boxes all weekend, try it like that.

474
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 1: We have to figure out what works best for our lifestyle,

475
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,679
Speaker 1: because if we're making changes that we don't believe in

476
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: that add more stress to our life or make us unhappy,

477
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 1: we're not going to stick with it, and we're just

478
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 1: going to be trying to make the changes over and

479
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: over again. Well, I can definitely see how you could

480
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: easily incorporate elements of both and come up with a

481
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 1: great hybrid system. Perhaps you have more than thirty three

482
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: things that spark joy, but it's distracting to you, so

483
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 1: you do project three three three without disposing of everything.

484
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: But if something doesn't spark joy, then it probably doesn't

485
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: even belong in the backup box, you know what I mean.

486
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,880
Speaker 1: So I could see a happy marriage between between the two.

487
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: That's that's mine. I think it's generally about just trying

488
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: to have you know, fewer things that you're choosing from

489
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: in the morning. And I know I've talked to people consciously,

490
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 1: I mean, without doing a project or anything like that,

491
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: but you say, like, I've got, you know, let's say,

492
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 1: eleven kind of set work outfits, and maybe I've even

493
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 1: worked with a stylist to help you come up with

494
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,360
Speaker 1: these eleven work outfits that you know work, because there's

495
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: many of us who have no concept really of style whatsoever.

496
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,679
Speaker 1: And so it's like about you know, asking people like

497
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: does this song you know, people compliment me on this color,

498
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: so probably I should wear this color more often or

499
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 1: something like that, and then you know, have those outfits

500
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 1: and go through them again and again and take that

501
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 1: decision making out so that you can and as Courtney

502
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 1: was saying, preserve your mind for other things that the

503
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: color in our life is in other things that are

504
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: not necessarily fast. I think there's a lot of your mind,

505
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: mindless decisions that we're making every day, whether it be

506
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: about food or fashion or whatever, before we ever leave

507
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: the house. I mean, the cereal aisle at the grocery

508
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 1: store is completely overwhelming to me. I mean, why do

509
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: we have so many choices? I think there's like fifteen

510
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: different kinds of cheerios available now. But we get all

511
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: consumed in these tiny details that don't really matter in

512
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: our lives, and then we are too worn out when

513
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 1: it comes to making the big decisions. Yeah, and I

514
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: think that's really something that it's a part of women's

515
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: professional advance that that it's not necessarily talked about as

516
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: much that I mean, for one thing, if it takes

517
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: you longer to get ready in the morning, then that's

518
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: time you're not doing something else, whether it's sort of

519
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: collecting your thoughts for the day, or you know, getting

520
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: into work a little bit earlier, or having more quality

521
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: time with your family. Those are all other things you

522
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: could be doing other than getting dressed, and those might

523
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: be better things to do with one's time in terms

524
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: of one's long life goals. But then also even just

525
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 1: the cognitive stress of trying to figure out like is

526
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: this the right thing to wear? Does this look good

527
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: on me? Does it not? And if you only have

528
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: things that you know work for you and that you

529
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: I love with Courtney that you've like taken this, You've

530
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,959
Speaker 1: invested maybe half a day or however long into choosing

531
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: that thirty three so it's like you've done the pre

532
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 1: work of doing it so that you don't have to

533
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: think about it it for three months. I think as

534
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: I head back to work that that could be especially

535
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: as you just mentioned, like does that fit? Does that work?

536
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 1: Like I could just pick thirty three things that work

537
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 1: on my body right now that would work, and then

538
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: I don't have to look at anything else for that

539
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: period of time. I feel like that's that's so freeing.

540
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: And you're right, it actually does pay dividends time wise,

541
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: which is really important. And let's talk about this here

542
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: what Sarah just said that works with her right now

543
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 1: because her body right now is not necessarily what her

544
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: body is going to be in a year, right like

545
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 1: she just or even in three months, right, So yeah,

546
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: thank you. Let's she looks awesome, by the way, but

547
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: you know things are changing, right and so it's I

548
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 1: think one of the things that you've probably encountered with

549
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: women in their wardrobes is we're holding on to clothes

550
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 1: that may have worked at a different season in our

551
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 1: lives that we are not currently in. And I wonder

552
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: if you could talk about that in terms of how

553
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: we feel about our bodies and how we've about weight

554
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 1: in particular, and if that's something that's comeing. Yes, that

555
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 1: is one of the top objections. As I mentioned before,

556
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: so laundry, weather, and weight, especially weight fluctuations, whether it

557
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 1: be for a pregnancy or whatever, because your body changes

558
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: all the time. One thing I noticed that doesn't apply

559
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 1: to every situation, but one thing that I definitely noticed

560
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: and have heard from other people is that once you

561
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: narrow that down to your thirty three and you've eliminated

562
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: some stress in your life, and you start to notice

563
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: that there aren't as many weight fluctuations. I have really

564
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: noticed that in my own life, where I've been wearing

565
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: the same size for a long time now, and that's

566
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 1: unusual for me. So I think a lot of that

567
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: holding on to things that whether it be sizes that

568
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: don't fit us, things that don't fit our lifestyle, things

569
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: that don't fit our bodies. That's extremely stressful, and we

570
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: all know are there's a correlation between stress and weight gain.

571
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 1: Now I'm not saying this is the magic pill and

572
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: that it solves all of those problems, but it contributes,

573
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: it helps, And thirty three might not be the right

574
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: number for you. It might be forty or twenty five.

575
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: There's no magic to this thirty three. It just happens

576
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: to be the right number for me. I wonder what

577
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: my number would be like, already creating a mental list.

578
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: But I get your point, the fact that you have

579
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: this finite collection and that you've sort of decided in Ada,

580
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 1: and just that we're saying we deserve to dress for

581
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 1: our bodies and our lifestyles today, and if that changes

582
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: in six months or three months or three weeks, so

583
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 1: be it. We'll figure it out. But today, what fits us?

584
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 1: What do we enjoy wearing? What adds value to our

585
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: life by wearing it? Instead of oh my gosh, I

586
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: have to try to fit into those high school genes,

587
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 1: or I just spent so much money on this item

588
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 1: and now it doesn't fit me. That's stressful. I would

589
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: also imagine that twelve weeks goes faster than one might think.

590
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: You think oh, I'm gonna, you know, undergo these enormous

591
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: changes in twelve weeks. But if you really think about

592
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: the last year, I mean, well, okay, my last year

593
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: maybe an exception begun having a baby, but other years,

594
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 1: you know, you're not going to have dramatic changes in

595
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: that kind of a time window. So that's a good agreed.

596
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: And if you then maybe there are some other things

597
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: to address that are more important than clothes as well.

598
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: So I love that we were talking about. I used

599
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: to watch What Not to Wear a lot, like when

600
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: I was on the treadmill Heavy to Wear. I'm proud

601
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 1: of my favorite lines I've always had. You know, people

602
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: would like have some you know, hideous pair of jeans

603
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: from the nineteen eighties that they could wear in high

604
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: school and be like, well, I might lose weight and

605
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: then I could wear this, and and Stacy said, why

606
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 1: would you lose weight just to wear ugly clothes? That

607
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: is that is a brilliant point, like why would on

608
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 1: earth like if you did lose weight, like you'd want

609
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: stuff that was fresh and modern anyway, like probably not

610
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 1: this hideous pair of jeans exactly. And I think for

611
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 1: any of us that have tried to lose weight before

612
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 1: we know that losing weight to fit into something or

613
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:24,320
Speaker 1: to attend an event, or for any other superficial reason

614
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:28,879
Speaker 1: is not sustainable. It just doesn't last. Yeah, exactly one

615
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 1: other thing from What Not to Wear, because Sarah and

616
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 1: I were talking about this in terms of their sticking

617
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: this show, they would always give the women five thousand

618
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 1: dollars to purchase a new wardrobe. And I wonder what

619
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: you thought about that as a price point for like

620
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: a workable wardrobe for a professional woman. I mean, what

621
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: would you imagine would be the right if someone was

622
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: starting from starting, like if someone literally had like yeah,

623
00:34:55,320 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess it's a pretty unique situation. Lot

624
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: of money to spend it on a wardrobe. And one

625
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 1: way you might figure that out for yourself is just

626
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 1: going through right now and assigning a dollar value, Like

627
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,760
Speaker 1: what have you spent on the clothes in your closet

628
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: right now? I've got a lot of people have spent

629
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: more than five thousand dollars, but that's probably well volume

630
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: it is, right, Like if you've got six persons, you've

631
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: got eight pairs of jeans. I mean, you know this

632
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,240
Speaker 1: stuff does add up. It may not have, but probably

633
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 1: the stuff that someone actually is wearing. Yeah, and here's

634
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: the conteresting thing when it comes to cost I was

635
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 1: talking with somebody about this recently who was looking for

636
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: a new dress, and she said, I can never find

637
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: like just a simple black dress that I really like.

638
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: And she had tried one on and I think it

639
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: was maybe two hundred and fifty or three hundred dollars,

640
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: and she said, I would never spend that on a dress,

641
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: never ever. And I asked her what she had spent

642
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: on black dresses in the last year, and it far

643
00:35:56,640 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: surpassed that number. So if you whatever your price point is,

644
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: if it's fifty, it's one hundred, it's five hundred, how

645
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 1: much have you spent on trying to find that perfect

646
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: item instead of just spending a little bit more for

647
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: an item that really works for you. I would also

648
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: caution people to be careful with the whole sale mentality.

649
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 1: I know Sarah and I have been trying to not

650
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,720
Speaker 1: not look at the tag, right, Like, if it's something

651
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: that works for you, you can decide that it works

652
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: for you, and then I mean, look at the tag

653
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 1: and obviously if it's completely outrageous, you probably won't by it.

654
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 1: But be less influenced by that in the decision. They

655
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: say like, Oh, I don't like it, but it's on sale.

656
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a very silly approaching. Yeah so, I

657
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: don't know who it was, but somebody recently either said

658
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 1: or tweeted if the price point is the most appealing

659
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 1: thing about something, it's not worth it for you it's

660
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: too expensive, then right there if it no matter what

661
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: the is on it. So this has been great Courtney,

662
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 1: a lot of great advice for people in terms of

663
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,959
Speaker 1: how they dress and figuring out uh wardrobe that works

664
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: for them. We always have our guests end with a

665
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 1: love of the week. So Sarah and I were both

666
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 1: going to do clothing related things, but you don't have to.

667
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 1: The rules are it could be anything that you like

668
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: or don't. But Sarah, Sarah, what are you really liking

669
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: this week? Yeah? So my love of the week is

670
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: sort of a generic clothing item, and that is the

671
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: rap dress, because you know, after having a baby, you're

672
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 1: looking for forgiving silhouettes. I definitely feel like I, you know,

673
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: I'm not in my typical shape, but somehow when you

674
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 1: put on the rap dress, it emphasizes the best parts

675
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 1: of what's there in some magical way, and they are

676
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 1: going to be my go to outfit as I return

677
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: to work. I've never had like a super fancy Diane

678
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 1: von Furstenberg. I know that's sort of where they arose from.

679
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 1: But I found some great ones at Bodin from design

680
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: History is like a small label, and then my my

681
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: nanny got me one. I think it like TJ Max

682
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: and that's the one I wore to a bridle shower

683
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: and I got tons of compliments on it. And I

684
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: don't even know what the label is, but it's awesome.

685
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: So rap dresses for the wind and then mine is

686
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: straight leg pants. So I've been somewhat frustrated in that

687
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 1: for the past whatever decade now, skinny jeans and skinny

688
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: pants have been kind of dominating all the pant options

689
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,439
Speaker 1: that are out there, and for whatever reason, I don't

690
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: really like the way it looks on me. And as

691
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:38,800
Speaker 1: Courtey was talking about, we have to know what works

692
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 1: for us, and I am not of the opinion that

693
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: the skinny leg works on me. And so I finally

694
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,240
Speaker 1: got around to just you know, after being sent stuff

695
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: with Nordstrom trunk that I wasn't wearing because it's you know,

696
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: skinny leg pants. I was like, I would like straight

697
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 1: leg and they're like, okay, we will send you straight

698
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: leg stuff, and they have and I've kept several pairs

699
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,439
Speaker 1: and I've been wearing them and so it's great. It's

700
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: just I mean, I like that settes. So knowing what

701
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 1: works for you is probably the way to go. So

702
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 1: Courtney right now clothing related that might not be a

703
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: surprise that is traveling right now for the next couple

704
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 1: of months off and on. And there is a website

705
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 1: that I signed up for this summer called do You Yoga,

706
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: So it's douyoga dot com and they offer both the

707
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 1: free and paid membership, but they have just a crazy

708
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: amount of different types of yoga classes and lessons, and

709
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: so every day when I'm traveling, I can get in

710
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 1: a ten or fifteen minute practice in the morning without

711
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: having to think about what I'm going to do because

712
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: I'm not always that great in creating my own flow

713
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 1: and I can't always find a studio with the way

714
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 1: my schedule's been, So it's awesome. All I need to

715
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,359
Speaker 1: do is find a towel or a yoga mat, and

716
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 1: I can practice with some guidance video and audio, so

717
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: we should check out very cool. Do you like you?

718
00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: Do you like that kind of way? Okay? Do you yoga?

719
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: Well we will check that out well, Courtney, thank you

720
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 1: so much for coming on. This has been Courtney Carver

721
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 1: has been on. Please check out her new book, Soulful

722
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: Simplicity and visit her website be More with Less and

723
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 1: you can try the project do you say three three? Sorry?

724
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 1: Really matter? Three thirty three? Okay to see if you

725
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: can create your own capsule wardrobe that works for you.

726
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: Thank Courtney, thank you so much for being on. Thank you.

727
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: Our Q and A today revisits a question that is

728
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,919
Speaker 1: definitely one of our main themes on this podcast, childcare.

729
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 1: Katie wrote in Hi, Sarah, I've been listening to yours

730
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: and Laura's new podcast and really enjoying it. I have

731
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: a baby who is about to be six months old,

732
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: and I'm ready to look for a babysitter so i

733
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: can get out and do some things once in a while.

734
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: Do you have recommendations on how to find a qualified

735
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: sitter websites to use questions to ask, et cetera. I

736
00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 1: am most impressed in this question. It's taking Katie. Six months, Katie, Katie,

737
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: if you got out, Katie, get out more than time.

738
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: I really hope maybe extended family nearby that's been watching

739
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 1: her kid, right like, I am going to hope. I

740
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: am going to hope because both Laura and I we

741
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 1: talked about it usually by five six weeks, I think

742
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,839
Speaker 1: she said something like six days six days going through,

743
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: we have needed to get some kind of backup or

744
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 1: childcare because at some point you do go stir crazy.

745
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 1: I mean, I will say I've been pretty stuck to

746
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: Genevieve thus far. She's now a month old. But right

747
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: now I'm doing this podcast while our nanny is watching her,

748
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 1: and that is a nice break for me. And I'm

749
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,320
Speaker 1: looking forward to our first real date night in a

750
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: couple of weeks when we're going to go to a

751
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 1: Miami Heat game. Yeah, and I'm really excited about it.

752
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: And those those little johnts out, even if they're not

753
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: that frequent, are kind of part, at least for me,

754
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 1: of sort of getting back to feeling normal and like myself. So, Katie,

755
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 1: I highly highly highly endorsed finding a sitter. One thing

756
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 1: I will say is that your baby will never remember it.

757
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 1: But it will mean a lot to you, Yes, exactly,

758
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: So what are yeah? I mean the logistics references from

759
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: other people are obviously a great way to go because

760
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 1: it's somebody that your friends have already used and liked.

761
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 1: And often there are people. I mean, you don't want

762
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: to poach a sitter from another family, that's not cool.

763
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 1: But in many cases, people can only use their sitters

764
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,960
Speaker 1: at certain times, like, for instance, their kids are in school,

765
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: so they're only using them on evenings or weekends. And

766
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 1: maybe that sitter is actually looking to add some hours

767
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 1: during the day, so if you're looking for during the day,

768
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 1: that would be a great addition to to what she

769
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: already has going on. Or else you know, they use

770
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 1: somebody as a secondary sitter and can't give them as

771
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: many hours as they want. So that's another great option

772
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: for you to get in on that because often people

773
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: do want to make sure that their their sitters are getting,

774
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: you know, the kind of hours that they'd like, so

775
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 1: you know, ask around, just like you know, post on

776
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: moms groups, you know. Or it could even be that

777
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 1: a family is sort of aging out of needing a

778
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 1: center and they're hoping to find a new situation for

779
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: them so there's all kinds of people who might be

780
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: doing that, or it could be you know, someone you know,

781
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:23,760
Speaker 1: maybe a family's got an older teenager who's at home,

782
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: maybe between high school and college or after college or whatever.

783
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: I'm looking for something to do, So people you know

784
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 1: is the first place to go, obviously, because then those

785
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 1: people are already vetted. They've got people around you who

786
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 1: are they're accountable to, So that's you know, the first

787
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 1: layer for trusting. Of course, we've also had good luck

788
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: with going through services. I mean, I've used nanny agencies

789
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:45,320
Speaker 1: when I was looking for somebody who's full time that

790
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: wouldn't be cost effective really for part time. But I've

791
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: also posted on sitter City care dot com and had

792
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 1: really great luck with both of those. I mean, you

793
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 1: found your nanny through care dot com, right, Yes, we

794
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 1: did find our through care dot com. I'm also going

795
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: to throw out two additional points. Number one, if you

796
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 1: know of anybody moving, that should be the first thing

797
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 1: you think of, ooh, because then you're not poaching exactly.

798
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: You mean, so they've got like sitters that are probably

799
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: losing their business, so aging out and or moving, because

800
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 1: that's one of our best babysitters. Sort of. Our date

801
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,399
Speaker 1: night sitter was the nanny across the street until they moved,

802
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 1: so we didn't poach, but we embraced the opportunity to

803
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: opportunity to see the baby. Yeah, thing is next door

804
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 1: if you have a next door is sort of like

805
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: the Facebook for your neighborhood, and a lot of times

806
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 1: that's a great place to post that you're looking for

807
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: a sitter because people who are aging out, are ready

808
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 1: to move on, will be happy to pass on their

809
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 1: nanny or babysitters information to you. And I've found that

810
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 1: is probably more likely gonna get you something than say Facebook,

811
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: unless your neighborhood, I guess has a very specific page.

812
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 1: I'd ask for questions to ask. Unfortunately, I don't really

813
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,359
Speaker 1: think there's a great answer to this because I mean,

814
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: it's what you really want to know. It's like can

815
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: I try you with my kid? And I mean, how

816
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,839
Speaker 1: do you even? That's not really straightforward question to ask.

817
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 1: So I mean generally you ask people about their background

818
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: sort of, you know, if they've dealt with any crisis situations,

819
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: you know, ask for references, of course, and call the references.

820
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,279
Speaker 1: If there's people you know, then you're looking for the

821
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,239
Speaker 1: people you know, raving about them. That's that's always, of

822
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 1: course the key thing. But you know, doing one to

823
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 1: two supervised sessions. We've talked about this in the past

824
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: on the podcast, but just you know, paying the person

825
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 1: to come sit while you're home for an hour or

826
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: two so you can try them out and see if

827
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 1: that works and if you're happy with them, if it's

828
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: a good match, and then you can sort of go

829
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 1: from there to having a time when you go run

830
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: a small errand and you know, move on from that point.

831
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 1: And it's so worth it investing that time because once

832
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,320
Speaker 1: you have a few in your armistice, it's very freeing

833
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: to know that if you get an invitation to a party,

834
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: you're not scrambling. You have you know, your three or

835
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: four go to options that you have. It's really it

836
00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: really is. Yeah. I like think of this as a

837
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: sort a sitter portfolio for you know, there are people

838
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 1: who can only do weekends, or people who can do

839
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 1: during the day, or people who can do on short notice,

840
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 1: or people who can do eatings, and you need less

841
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: of this if you wind up with again, you know,

842
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: one full time person, because mostly that person might be

843
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 1: but you'll still need some because you'll never know. You

844
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 1: never know, and there are hours that person might not

845
00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 1: be willing to work, and so having a portfolio is great.

846
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 1: And then we got a great listener tip from Erica. Right. Yes,

847
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: Erica is a blog reader, and when she wrote this

848
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 1: tip down, I said, oh, we have to share this

849
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 1: in the podcast because this isn't something I have done,

850
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 1: but it's so up my alley and I love it.

851
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 1: So I'm just going to read the comment she said.

852
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to address the process of onboarding,

853
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 1: said babysitter, So she's going to address that. Once we

854
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 1: find someone new, I give them a detailed day in

855
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 1: the life typical schedule I updated every six months or so,

856
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: and a packet of information about routines, what our kids

857
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: typically eat, house rules, bedtime routines, et cetera. They don't

858
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 1: have to read it, but it's there for rough. It

859
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: removes any confusion about what the kids expect and also

860
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 1: contains important info like emergency contacts, as well as useful

861
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 1: tidbits like the Wi Fi password. I love that. I

862
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 1: love the fact that you only have to do it

863
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: once and update it every once in a while. I

864
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 1: love that it's clear and that it sort of takes

865
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: away some ambiguity. So if the babysitter isn't going to

866
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 1: be able to say, oh, I thought, because it's like, well,

867
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 1: it's on the page, not that you want them like

868
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,359
Speaker 1: reading it while they're supposed to be watching your kids.

869
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: I mean, this is but they have something they want

870
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 1: to reference exactly. I forget which kid is allergic to.

871
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 1: That's pretty that's a pretty important thing. Yeah, you know,

872
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: even mention that, yes, you're right, that probably should be

873
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: even not just buried in the document somewhere, but you

874
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 1: get my point. I love that idea. I'm going to

875
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 1: copy it, and yeah, I just help. If you, you know,

876
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: have extended family visiting and they're watching, you know that

877
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: you have this all written down. And I know that

878
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 1: when I've been gone for longer periods of time, I've

879
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: written out whole schedule things and obviously schedules and all that,

880
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: but it's the document that everyone can refer to. And then,

881
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 1: you know, because a lot of that stuff is just

882
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 1: in my head and that's not helpful for anyone, but

883
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 1: it's only in my head, and it's so tempting to

884
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:16,479
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I'm just a text away, but it's

885
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: probably better to see if there's a way you can

886
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: avoid having to get those texts in the first place.

887
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 1: And it's probably more pleasant for the caregiver as well

888
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 1: to just have something to refer to rather than wondering

889
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: whether they have to contact you intermittently. Yeah, although you

890
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 1: know to some degree it's you also just want to

891
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:35,239
Speaker 1: be able to relax about it some And I would

892
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 1: say because this is something that maybe some new parents

893
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: sometimes struggle with a little bit, I mean less so

894
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: because I just don't even think about what could go wrong.

895
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 1: It's probably a personality fall on my part that way.

896
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: But you know, when you're not there, some things are

897
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: not going to happen exactly as you would do them.

898
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 1: But that's okay. Like kids can deal with totally agreetions,

899
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 1: and you know, if something happens a little different, you know,

900
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 1: if the TV came on at a different time, or

901
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 1: Toya was played with that's not normally played with at

902
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 1: that time, or dinner wasn't done in precisely the way,

903
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: you know, the kids are probably going to be fine.

904
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 1: So if there's something actually very important again, like the

905
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:14,880
Speaker 1: allergy that needs to be more explicitly communicated and strict

906
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: rules about that. But for most stuff, you know it

907
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:21,879
Speaker 1: will be okay. That is very true. Wise words from

908
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 1: a mom who has done this a number of times. Well,

909
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 1: this has been Best of Both Worlds Episode twenty four.

910
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 1: Tune in next week for more on making work and

911
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me

912
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:41,320
Speaker 1: Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore

913
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:45,359
Speaker 1: Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at

914
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of

915
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:52,439
Speaker 1: Both Worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more

916
00:49:52,480 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: on making work and life work together. The Boy a

917
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 1: Boy