WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Cell Phone Sandals & Crusty Crocs 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:05.000 Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:08.600 minutes a week was enough, think again. He's the last 0:00:08.720 --> 0:00:12.240 remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:15.400 He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:18.680 the rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow. It's a 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:22.840 clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special. The 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:29.240 Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:35.360 air Everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:40.839 Gee kicking off the latest Life of Mallar Life of 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:44.280 Danny Gee podcast as we were back in the Audio Dojo. 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:48.919 This podcast available on demand, a spinoff over the Overnight 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:53.280 show Danny and We Survived the Friday Podcast. We survived 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:56.920 Friday and now here we are the weekend is upon us. 0:00:57.120 --> 0:01:03.760 We yeah, And after the Friday podcast, immediately I got 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:07.280 requests for the T shirts that you talked about. But 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:10.520 do people want to pay for them? As the question, Yeah, 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:13.440 everyone would like a nice T shirt. Paying for the 0:01:13.480 --> 0:01:16.720 T shirt is a different issue. That's a different problem. 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:20.479 But it's a good design. I might have to post 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:22.880 a photo of what the mock up looks like. Maybe 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.479 that'll get people jones in for the T shirt. It's 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:28.880 it's a limited If you missed the Friday podcast we're 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:31.120 kicking around, I was talking to my T shirt people 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:35.160 and the idea of a Minnesota only T shirt for 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:38.720 the Mallard Meat and Greed. Wait a second, you got people. No, 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:42.160 it's just some some persons. Somebody wants to make money 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.759 selling T shirts. That's what they want. But but anyway, 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.720 so that's that's a possibility again. Give me some feedback. 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:51.080 Email me either at Ben Maller's show at gmail dot 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.440 com or for this podcast, we use Real fifth Hour 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:58.560 at gmail dot com. That's Real fifth Hour at gmail 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:01.760 dot com. Gonna be a big picture of your face 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.480 right in the middle of the T shirt. No, why 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:07.200 would I do that? No, of course it's I'm drawing 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:10.120 my whole body. I'll be looking all sexy and be one. 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:13.040 You could be like the alien we talked about on 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:18.200 yesterday's show. Yeah, exactly. The boy looks like it looks 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.960 like a shitsu. Uh the size of a lapdog? Is 0:02:21.960 --> 0:02:28.360 your alien? Arf? Oh man? Well, is that is that 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:30.440 what you have to look like to travel through space? 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:31.720 Or is that what you have to look like? If 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:33.679 you buy it at a toy store somewhere in the 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:36.800 middle of the middle of South America. I don't know 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:39.720 what the hell could be out there, and what it 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:43.600 would require to travel from such far distances, and how 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:45.800 your body would have to be shaped and you wouldn't 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:49.160 need to be eating anything. Really, how do you It's 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:51.960 it's just wild. On this podcast, we have the most 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:58.040 amazing win in Vegas history, the Terrible twos Backscratcher, and 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:03.600 we will also have Safari Kingdom and scientifically a lot 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:05.320 to get to. So let's jump right in. I'm not 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:08.360 gonna go long on this a follow up to a 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.880 previous episode of this podcast Energy. On the Friday podcast, 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:16.799 we talked about my trip to Vegas and perrumpt Nevada, 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:21.400 and I spent a lot of time in the car, 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:24.560 did not spend much time at all in the casino. 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:28.600 I got one bet in on San Diego State. They 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.000 were minus two and a half point favorites for the 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:34.840 final four game on Saturday, Go after Yourself, San Diego. 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:37.600 They won the game, but they didn't win the bet. 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:39.760 They lost the bet they won on a buzzer beater. 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:42.680 I lost the bet they needed to win by three. 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:46.320 They won by one that sucked, so I was mumped 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.280 to out about that. But I spent all day driving 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:52.120 around the Nevada Desert with my wife and driving law 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:56.040 enforcement police people around and so on the way. I 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.200 mentioned on the Friday podcast that we had to get 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:02.560 back to LA because my wife had to work and 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.000 I had to work on Sunday. She had to work 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:06.800 earlier than me. So we decided we were going to 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:10.520 stay in Vegas and have dinner, and we went to 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:16.760 Nacho Daddy. Daddy had a nice meal at Nacho Daddy. 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:21.320 The next night we ate at this weird like airplane restaurant. 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.520 It was just like just a normal restaurant. So we're 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.280 on our way out of Vegas. My wife had had 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:29.680 a meet and greet with her friends and said hello, 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:31.920 there was one of the one of the retired nine 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.000 one one operators flew in from Florida. She's living in Florida. 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:38.760 So they had a great time fun. So I'm driving 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:41.960 out of the Strip and on the way out, I'm like, hey, 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:44.600 we gotta get gas right because, you know, load up 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:47.560 the mallar won't be able to get back to LA 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.800 And all the gas stations on the Strip are just 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:55.720 bending you over. And it's just it's sodomy. It's what 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.320 it is that it's insane the amount of money they're 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:01.240 charging for gats. So I'm like, I'm telling my wife, listen, 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:03.679 I know what to do. You gotta I gotta drive 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.800 outside the strip where the locals are, because those are 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:10.120 the normal price gas stations. They don't they don't raise 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:15.200 the price for the dopey Taurus. Yeah, veteran move. So 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:17.960 I'm driving around Vegas trying to get outside the strip, 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:21.440 and I we finally find a gas station. I'm probably 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:24.920 driving for about ten minutes, fifteen minute. So we get 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:29.479 outside the strip, find a gas station, and I get out. 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:31.960 I pumped the gas, but I'm tired. I had been 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:35.000 driving eight hours, and I was like. My wife realized 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.520 I'm tired. This is not a good idea. So she's 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:39.760 she's like, why don't I start out driving? Which was 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:41.600 I don't really like my wife's driving, but I'd rather 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:45.640 have her drive than me half asleep, because I've almost 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.280 died driving half So anyway, she's like, okay, fine, So 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:53.640 I we got to change seats. So I go through 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:56.320 the passenger see. My wife goes around to the driver's seats. 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:59.480 So we get in the car and I'm like, hey, 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.240 can you hand me my phone? And uh and and 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.680 she says okay, and she's moved some stuff around. We 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:09.240 have some snacks in the car, and my phone's not there. 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.800 I'm like, oh, it's got to be there. I just 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:15.160 I drove from the hotel we were at and it's 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:19.920 it's it's clearly it's there. And she said, no, it's 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:24.280 it's not. Oh no, it's not here. So so then 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:26.360 I'm like, I'm trying to you know, how you lose something. 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.479 You're like, where did I go? Like what did I do? 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:32.400 Where's the last place I went? And so I'm I'm 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:37.239 backtracking in your mind. Yeah, So I'm retracing my steps 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:40.960 and I'm thinking of like all the places the phone maybe, 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:43.159 and I'm looking through my pockets and I'm looking through 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:46.880 the car and also panic, panic sets in at the 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:50.760 same time, as my wife likes to say, the phone 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:54.200 is your third arm or your third hand or whatever. 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:58.680 So I can't find the fucking thing. And then my 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:01.159 my wife said, well, we have that fine, you know 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:07.040 phone thing, So why don't I look on that? So 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:10.200 she punches it up and I'm sitting next to her. 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:13.600 She punches it up. She says, I found your phone. 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:19.760 It's three miles away on some some street we'd never 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:24.960 heard of in vague. Yeah. So I'm like, how what 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:30.000 what happened? And and so I had when we got 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:34.280 to the hotel parking, which was like thirty bucks to park. 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.520 It's so so stupid these hotels charge for parking anyway, 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:42.000 So I had changed out of my my shoes to 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.280 put sandals on so I could be comfortable on the 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:47.200 drive back to LA. And I think what I had 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:51.800 done is I'd put the phone like I put it anyway. 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:57.320 So we were debating. My my wife's like, she says, 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.880 I get calls all the time at at her job 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.840 at nine one one operated. People lose their phones and 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:06.040 we pin it and we never almost never get it back. 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:10.720 It's like a one in a million situation. So we 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.600 had a decision. We were outside of the strip, we 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:17.000 were several miles away from where my phone was allegedly at. 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.520 Do we drive back to It's by the way, it's 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:24.840 like midnight twelve thirty, right early Sunday. Do we drive 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:27.000 back to La. Do we go back and look for 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:29.960 the phone? But we had to decide like what we 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:33.920 were gonna do, right, So I was kind of leaning 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:37.000 towards going back to Isaiah because she explained that there's 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:39.559 really no chance of getting but she said she's optimistic, 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:43.200 so on, Okay, so we decided to do it. Now, 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:45.679 keep in mind, if your phone is pinned to an 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:49.480 apartment building, you would have to know which apartment it's in. 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.640 You don't know, I have no idea, right, yeah, if 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:55.920 somebody stole my phone and they're an apartment. So we 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.679 drive and we're driving and my wife's like, we weren't 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.040 even on these streets, and you know, I'm like, well, 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:04.200 wait a minute. We kind of were on this street. 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:08.080 I remember because it was near the Mandalay Bay and 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:11.320 there's not much it's actually unfortunately where that that horrible 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.120 Vegas shooting was years ago. But anyway, so we were 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:21.000 driving on that road and she saw, your phone's here somewhere, Danny. 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:26.400 It was in the middle of the street Vegas. It 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:30.000 had been there for forty minutes, and you you got 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:33.640 it right. I had changed into my sandals. I'd put 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.440 the phone on top of the hood of the or 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:39.600 the bumper or whatever the car. Yeah, it had stayed 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:44.760 there for several miles. We turned and the thing went 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:48.760 flying off. But even more amazing, it landed in the 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:52.720 center divider area and no one drove it over, like 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.840 it was a center divider, but it was just painted 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:59.480 with stripes. There was like right, nobody drove it over. Wow, 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:01.640 it was not a scratch on it. It was a 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.360 little cold because it'd been out in the desert night 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:09.000 for like forty forty five minutes. I'm believable. That's the 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:12.200 most amazing. When you talk about a long shot paying off. 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:17.240 Please tell me you immediately be line to a flot machine. 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:20.800 I No, I did not. I just I cuddled my 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:24.000 phone though, I'm like, oh, my phone, my great phone, 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:29.360 my friend. I'm like, I was thinking of all the 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:32.360 stuff I hadn't backed up on my phone, and I 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:34.959 was like, I'm gonna lose this. I'm gonna lose that, 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:42.960 these photos, crap, and all my passwords, everything's on there, 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:45.480 and your whole life's on your phone. I'm like, because 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:48.800 I had assumed somebody snaked it when I was walking around, 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:53.160 somebody bumped into me, and you were Vegas's biggest winner 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:55.680 that weekend. Yeah, So the way I look at it. 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:59.080 I lost with San Diego State, but I want a 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:02.160 whole lot more because these phones are seven hundred bucks, 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:07.760 eight hundred bucks whatever. These iPhones are insane, insane to 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:11.880 the membrane. So that was my big Vegas win. On 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:16.560 the way out, and my wife, actually she was She 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.640 was able to drive all the way back to California, 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.600 back to LA and but she did get upset when 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:24.040 I was on my phone. She said, you're supposed to 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.400 be sleeping, So what do you know you're supposed to 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:31.360 be sleeping. Get my phone back. That was not the 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.480 Terrible Two's Danny. That was the most amazing win, the 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.280 most shocking, stunning upset of all time. Yeah, that was 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:41.720 one in a million. Yeah. The wife and I we 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:47.760 had a Sunday visitor and she just turned two. And 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:53.320 that's our niece, Phoenix. And so my girl's brother he 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.000 called on Saturday and it's like, Hey, I need you 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.840 guys to babysit Phoenix tomorrow. I have the Dodgers game 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.720 with my son's little league team. They get to run 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.360 the bases, so we need you guys to watch her. 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:09.040 On Sunday, about ten thirty in the morning, we hear 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:12.160 a knock on the door, and in she comes, running 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:17.120 full speed, and she's really excited to be here. So 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:20.680 Phoenix is really really social. You don't want that little 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.560 kid that's shy and goes and poops in the corner 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.600 and it's scared to come out the whole time, just 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:30.120 scared to even read my bands. When I asked her 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.360 how old are you, she put a thumb in her 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:36.959 index singer she's like two, like an el though, like, oh, 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:41.320 like the loser sign. That's how she showed me she 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.920 was two years old. How did you do? My favorite 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:46.960 trick around kids, My favorite trick is when you go 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.280 up to too years She might be able too young 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:52.000 for this, but said, what are you seventeen? Eighteen? How 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.480 old are you? Like the kids surtdays. They love that. 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:56.480 It's like the greatest gag in the world, Like, oh no, 0:12:56.559 --> 0:13:00.600 I'm like I become a thirteen year old girl. She 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:04.160 clings onto words that she's able to say very well. 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:08.360 So any woman who's around is mama. Now, if it's 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:12.880 an animal, she says the name of our dog very well, Daisy. 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:16.080 So my cat is coming up to her and she's 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:22.800 like Daisy, Daisy. Every furball around her was daisy, She's 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:27.000 really cute, and then she starts squatting, and you know 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:34.120 what that means. Then suddenly gets silent. There is something 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:42.360 a brewing, there's something steaming. My wife, who's carrying right now, 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:47.160 she's six months pregnant. She's like, give me three more 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:50.520 months before I got to start changing poop diapers. It's 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:53.320 like I was hoping she would wait until the end 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:56.080 of this visit so that my brother could handle this 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:59.640 when he gets back from Dodgers Stadium. But sure enough, 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.840 had do the diaper change. So we said, hey, it's 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:07.240 a sunny day outside. Let's take Phoenix and the kids 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:12.160 to the park. Get the basketball, the pump, I take 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:15.439 the Costco scooter, put it in the back of the car. 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:19.040 We get down to the park, go to the basketball court. 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:23.480 It's an awesome day out there, because you could tell 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:27.760 everybody in southern California has been cooped up the past 0:14:27.800 --> 0:14:33.000 couple of months. The park was jamming. The next day 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:35.840 was the start of spring break, so there were so 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.760 many kids running around this park and there was also 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:44.320 big family parties going on. Well, little Phoenix immediately runs 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.280 up to one of those families. My wife is just 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:51.720 super surprised. It's like, man, none of my kids were 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:56.400 aggressive like that or social like that. They were really shy. 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:58.640 A lot of kids, as you know, will just cling 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:01.280 to their parents' leg. That was me, that was my move, 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:05.240 my mom right every where we went. Yeah, you could 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:09.120 tell Phoenix has several babysitters because she ran up to 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:12.480 these people she's never met in her life, finds kids 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:16.800 somewhat near her age and immediately it's like, be my friend, 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:20.520 be my friend, and grabs the little girl's hands and 0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:24.200 is holding hands with these little girls. How these girls 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:26.920 receptive to this or they get away from me or 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:30.760 you know, at first they thought she was cute, but 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:36.360 very quickly they're like, she's annoying us, kind of chasing them, 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:39.280 and they're running away and they're like, get away from her. 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:43.400 And then she goes off to the side and we 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:50.840 see her squatting. Oh no, we're like again, this chicken nugget, 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.880 french fry eating two year old. It's squatting for the 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:58.720 second time since we've had her. You gotta go, you 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:02.720 gotta go, Danny, You got to go now, Ben. We 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:05.280 gotta get her back home so we can change her again. 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:09.760 But she pulls an escape route. Move this family that's 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:12.200 off to the side on the grass next to the 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:16.240 basketball courts. They are doing their Armenian dancing. They have 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:21.360 their music blasting, and they have a tent that's set 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:24.040 up kind of like what you set up at the beach. Okay, 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:28.840 that's cool, well except for Phoenix runs over and runs 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:35.440 into the tent. Oh my wife. He has to go retriever, 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:39.680 and you know, it's embarrassing because these people are watching us, 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.040 and I guess it turned out that they had a 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:44.960 bunch of toys in there. It took forever to get 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:47.560 her out of there. We had to physically go into 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:51.840 the tent and pull her out, get her back home, changer. 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:58.080 By seven pm they get to our place and finally 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:00.360 retrieve their daughter. But it was a nice is it, 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:06.119 although there were two really stinky diaper changes, all right, 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.520 and his Phoenix excited that she's going to be like 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:12.560 a big cousin because you're you're child to be named 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:17.160 later there and the bun in the oven coming out later, 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:19.160 so she'll be Oh, she'll have the advantage because she'll 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:21.400 be a couple of years older than the kid. I'm 0:17:21.440 --> 0:17:24.560 guessing those two will spend a good amount of time together. 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.280 That's good though, because you're your your son to be 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:33.359 will will be more social right because yes, rub off 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.240 on him. Hopefully he won't be running into stranger's tents. 0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:43.400 Not necessarily what you're looking for, h my gud at Backscratcher. 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.520 Two weeks in a road Danny, we gotta shut out 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:52.240 bad job by you. We gotta pick up the pace. 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:55.040 We we don't have anybody yet. In April, you can 0:17:55.080 --> 0:18:01.440 be our first helper, our first podcast helper scratcher the 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:05.400 Apple podcast page podcast dot Apple dot com and then 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:10.160 search the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller. We are still 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:14.760 eleven reviews away from four hundred. We have slowed down 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.600 to a snail's pace here. This is not going well. 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:22.399 We need to do better. We need to do better. 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:25.600 Help us out, please, we need your help and we 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:28.479 will give you a little love. Write a little review. 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:33.199 Our bosses, the death spots who run these podcasts, they 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:35.600 look at that kind of stuff. It's a big deal. 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:39.800 So help us out. I'm just saying help us out now, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:47.040 Safari Kingdom and that means again, Ohio, Aw, It's time 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:57.040 for Ben Maller Kingdom with Benig Radio so thank you, Ohio. 0:18:57.119 --> 0:19:01.159 All these are animal related to This is content nobody 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:03.720 else has no has ever done this before, Danny, it's 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:07.199 never been done on the radio. I can't deal with 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:10.399 it unless it has been No, no, no, no, this 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:13.120 is original content. No one else has this content. So 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:18.920 first story comes out of New York where New York, 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:24.840 New York would like to ban you from owning elephants, 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:28.640 kangaroos and other wild animals. They want to ban those 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:37.720 things from homes. You're probably asking, isn't that stuff already band? Oh? 0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:41.080 Probably not. I didn't know this, but there's new. I 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:43.399 gotta tell my brother who lives in New York. Newly 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:48.159 introduced legislation from Albany would officially ban New Yorkers from 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:56.440 keeping elephants, hyenas, rhinos, and wales. This is all because 0:19:56.440 --> 0:20:01.440 of some dude on Long Island that has had sloths 0:20:01.480 --> 0:20:07.000 and kangaroos. That's a lot. Oh, and you could charge 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:10.040 a pretty penny for people to pet a sloth and 0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:14.520 take a picture with it. And these political hacks are 0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:17.760 complaining saying so. Some of these animals, such as a 0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:20.640 red kangaroo, can grow as high as six feet tall 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:24.159 and way up to two hundred pounds. And why do 0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:26.600 you need to make a rule about whales? Where the 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:29.000 fuck would you keep a whale at That is a 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:33.240 fair point, but the quoted to state law currently bans 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:37.760 people from raising companion animals such as lions, tigers, and 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:43.480 grizzly bears, while theoretically allowing the possession of other questionable pets. 0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:48.200 These include hyenas, rhinos, elephants, kangaroos, whales, dolphins. I guess 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:50.800 it would have to be a small baby whale, seals, 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:55.800 sea lions, walruses, EMUs, ostriches and eaters. Shout out, you 0:20:55.880 --> 0:21:01.879 see irvine, armadillos and all that. The proposed band would 0:21:01.920 --> 0:21:05.880 not apply to zoos or animal sanctories. Well, thank god, Well, 0:21:05.880 --> 0:21:08.440 this is what we need our politicians to do. This 0:21:08.520 --> 0:21:11.440 is this is what we need them to do. Clearly, 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:15.720 man alive. I'm looking I'm looking at all this. Wow. 0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:21.480 I guess there are some random people that this is 0:21:21.520 --> 0:21:26.200 an emu violently hecked at a drunken man. In England, 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:31.840 a Michigan girl was bitten by a sloth. I remember that, 0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:33.199 so I think we talked about that. That That was at 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:35.600 a pet store. Actually, I think I remember that we 0:21:35.680 --> 0:21:38.080 used to talk about this on the Animal Thunderdome, which 0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:40.159 is nothing like this segment. I don't even know what 0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:46.240 Most of these exotic animals are owned by big drug kingpins. 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:50.960 It's usually big time drug dealers who have these as pets. 0:21:51.320 --> 0:21:53.600 It's like a flex, Danny. You want to show off, 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:57.560 you want to, I'm gonna I'm gonna stereotype. It's dudes 0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:01.160 trying to impress women like hey, look at my alligator, yeah, 0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:07.440 and then look at my other alegant. Anyway, hello a man, 0:22:07.640 --> 0:22:10.440 how about this outam Australia, a man has been charged 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:15.640 after taking a platypus on a train ride. He took 0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:19.640 a platypus on a train ride and shopping. A twenty 0:22:19.680 --> 0:22:24.520 six year old Australian man accompanied by a woman was 0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:28.160 spotted on a suburban train in Australia with a wild 0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:33.360 platypus swaddled in a towel and they took the They 0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:35.840 just grabbed the platypus and took it on the train 0:22:35.880 --> 0:22:39.639 and took it shopping. That's a good word, swaddled. It 0:22:39.800 --> 0:22:42.120 is a solid. You don't hear that word very much. 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:45.600 I'll bet you again, Danny said, dude trying to impress 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:48.040 a woman. I think this All these animal stories are 0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:50.840 dudes trying to impress women. The hell is a platypus? 0:22:50.920 --> 0:22:54.840 Can I impress a woman? Well? Baby, check out my platypus. 0:22:56.680 --> 0:23:01.600 They're they're cute platypus. They're they're like cartoon characters. Look 0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:05.399 pretty cool. Let's see next. Oh, this is interesting. The 0:23:05.560 --> 0:23:11.800 deepest dwelling fish ever seen is a ghostly snail fish. 0:23:11.800 --> 0:23:16.040 It was spotted more than twenty seven hundred feet beneath 0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:20.040 the ocean surface. According to the Sciences, it is the 0:23:20.040 --> 0:23:24.879 the deepest fish ever captured by camera on camera, and 0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:29.639 it looks like it's smiling ding okay, like it's you 0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:35.679 evil humans. I'm smiling at you, you fuckers. How dare you? 0:23:35.720 --> 0:23:38.280 That's what it looks like. It's pretty cool. This took 0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:45.520 fifteen years. Danny, define this this fish? Ah, here's a 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:50.160 fun story on the Safari Kingdom from Far Away, from 0:23:50.200 --> 0:23:54.399 a land, far far away. A pilot was forced to 0:23:54.440 --> 0:24:01.280 make an emergency landing because a snake was crawling around 0:24:01.320 --> 0:24:06.120 the cockpit. Let's go to break. Isn't that like out 0:24:06.119 --> 0:24:08.760 of Indiana Jones or something like that? Doesn't that seem 0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:13.920 like it's out of Indiana Jones. Snakes on a plane, Yeah, 0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:18.600 snakes in your pants. The serpent had infiltrated and aircraft, 0:24:20.040 --> 0:24:23.679 and it says, seems like a movie, but it's not. 0:24:23.720 --> 0:24:26.560 A South African pilot was literally forced to make an 0:24:26.560 --> 0:24:30.760 emergency landing because a deadly snake was on his plane. 0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:34.840 The pilot said that they were cruising at eleven thousand 0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:38.840 feet in the air when he felt something cold around 0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:43.920 his hip and the guy freaked out. And he had 0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:48.920 four passengers on this private flight to South Africa. This 0:24:49.000 --> 0:24:53.119 is a couple days ago, early April, and they realized 0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:56.720 that they were They had this crater on there, this 0:24:56.800 --> 0:25:00.679 cool sensation crawling up the crawling up the guy's shirt, 0:25:02.040 --> 0:25:05.240 he said. And initially they thought it was leakage from 0:25:05.240 --> 0:25:11.840 a water bottle. And they saw this cobra, the head 0:25:12.240 --> 0:25:17.800 backwards underneath the seat. Oh, it was a cape cobra, 0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:23.119 an aggressive South African a snake that has enough venom 0:25:23.160 --> 0:25:29.560 to kill nine human beings. Wow, that is nuts. So 0:25:29.600 --> 0:25:31.560 they land they did. In the emergency landing, they're trying 0:25:31.560 --> 0:25:33.679 to find the plane. There's photo of them trying to 0:25:33.680 --> 0:25:37.399