1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot m a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Shane dot Elder podcast. Agel Graydon Danceler. 3 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:22,440 Speaker 1: Your fly is St Claire, I am present and this 4 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: this is your friend. This is Jill Scott from North Philly, 5 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: a k a. Jilly and uh, welcome to Jay dot 6 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: Elga podcast. We've been talking again, of course, and you're 7 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 1: you're walking in on a conversation that we're having about 8 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: whole pleasure versus versus the pieces. I guess whole versus pieces. 9 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: Maybe that's what it is. We initially started this conversation 10 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 1: talking about receiving oral sex. And I'm just gonna put 11 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: it out there because this is this is what we 12 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: do on this podcast. I never liked it, friends, I 13 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: just never liked it. For many many years. It just 14 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: was not my thing until recently, thank you, but but 15 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 1: for many many years. I know, right, it's a whole 16 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: world for me, It's a whole new world. Wanted it. 17 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 1: I never wanted that. I'm always allowed it. I allowed 18 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: it because I was being gracious, you know, I'm allowing 19 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: it because you you know, the mate or the person 20 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,399 Speaker 1: you get all excited about it. But I was just 21 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 1: trying to get the penetration and quite frankly, you know, 22 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: let's get Yeah. But but this opened up a really 23 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: interesting conversation because we're just thinking about, well why that is, 24 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: and and and Amber had mentioned that maybe it was 25 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: a control thing. Maybe it's about kind of releasing the 26 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: control over the situation, or being or being deeply vulnerable 27 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: in that moment, or any number of different kind of 28 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: things mentally as to why it might be something you're 29 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: not really into, which I thought was really worth exploring, 30 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: because then it got into another part of the conversation 31 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: where I was like, oh, wait a minute, if we 32 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: look at this a little different from being like why 33 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: do I not like this thing? Into like, well, what 34 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,519 Speaker 1: is it that I'm trying to achieve from an intimate moment? 35 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: Like what am I trying to get at? You know? 36 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: And it's like outside of just kind of I guess, 37 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 1: the immediate pleasure of what sex brings, but just how 38 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: we can look at our bodies and and experience that 39 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:41,079 Speaker 1: in a full way. And I thought that's pretty dope. Yeah, No, 40 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: it don't seem like it just seems I agree. It 41 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: just seemed like some partners are just here to prove 42 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: a point. You know, I can do this better than 43 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: anybody else could do this, and then I'm gonna show 44 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: you on you you know, you know it's like, yeah, 45 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: and that's a point, says I'm every dude. I feel 46 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: like it's some basic fundamentals. Men feel like there are 47 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: certain things that if they master that women will you know, 48 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: fall into their arms. And women are just not all 49 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: the same in that way. No, definitely not me. It's 50 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,519 Speaker 1: not something that turned me out ever. But that's why 51 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: men are just as much victims of, you know, these 52 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 1: kind of weird practices as much as we are, because 53 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day, they enjoy 54 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: a full experience too, because you know, it's interesting, Um 55 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: Jill said this many episodes back when she talked about 56 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: kissing and you know how some couples just stopped kissing, 57 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: and it's like, I don't know, here recently and Fatima 58 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: always kiss but we spent more time kissing, and that 59 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: in and of itself is so sensual and so intense, 60 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: and it's just like, and you've done nothing but kiss 61 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: at that point and spending ten fifteen minutes just doing that, 62 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: I mean, all of those things and we talked about 63 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: things like tantric sex, and I have never done that, 64 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: but then I realized that I have because I just 65 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: call it. I don't have nowhere to go, because it's 66 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: like we don't have anywhere to go, so they don't 67 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: have to rush. We're not rushing through this. We're not 68 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,480 Speaker 1: trying to get to some magical end result, even though 69 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: we are. But you know, the point is that it's 70 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: an understanding. But it's just like we're here, we're us, 71 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:27,480 Speaker 1: let's test just be us, Let's you know, look at 72 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: each other, let's touch each other, let's love each other. 73 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 1: And then the tantric part. A lot a lot of 74 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: that is breathing into each other. There's nothing and no 75 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: one else around. Like you said, we got time. We 76 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: ain't gotta go nowhere, So we take moments to to really, 77 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: um connect with your lover spiritually, not just physically. The 78 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: there's an art to not touching. There is romance and 79 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: not touching as well, and um, you know, I just 80 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: I'm feeling kind of away, feeling like, oh no, if 81 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: everybody's just watching porn and thinking that that, you know, 82 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: think about the things they say. You know, I gotta 83 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: beat the pussy up. You know, I killed it. You know, violence, 84 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 1: it's it's all so violent, violent, you know, and everything 85 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 1: and that. I'm like, wait a minute, y'all. I'm like, 86 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 1: it's not all. No, no, not all, not all. But 87 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: if that's the only kind you're watching, you've got a 88 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: very limited view on what sex and sexuality is like 89 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,360 Speaker 1: if you're only listening to guys who say things like 90 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: like yeah, but but terms like beat the pussy up 91 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: are like regular, Yeah, that's hip hop though. See that's 92 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: that's the funny part. I'm like, that'shi, that's hip hop. 93 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 1: And then and every sometimes you do want your pussy 94 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: beat up? Yeah, that's what that. I don't never want 95 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: my pussy beat up. I made a point to tell 96 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: people I don't please. Whatever you do, don't beat this 97 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: pussy up. I don't want no scars when you finish. 98 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: I don't want no bruises. Don't beat this pussy up. 99 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: That don't even turn me on. That drives me out. 100 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: I don't want the vision, just the thought of beating 101 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: a pussy up. Why why ain't you? I mean, we 102 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: didn't have to give me a while set, but you ain't. 103 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: You never got to beat my pussy up beat it up, 104 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: but he can't live it. Good God. No. Once time 105 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,839 Speaker 1: I heard it described as a good friend of ours 106 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: wrote a song and in the song he says, tonight, 107 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be bullying you. Oh yeah, well that's what 108 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: It's a little softer, but I ain't gonna lie. I 109 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: was like, well, I got in the back of the 110 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 1: class of my hand up. A little bully. A little 111 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: bully is okay. Yes, you want to tell me what 112 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:09,480 Speaker 1: to do? Okay, A little bully is okay. You can 113 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: tell me what to do. You can tell me what 114 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: to do. If you can tell me what to do, yes, 115 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: you can tell me what to do. You can't tell 116 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 1: me what You can't tell me what to do. You 117 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: can't tell me what to do. You just you just can't. 118 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: Can't write it takes a certain kind of authority for 119 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: me anyway, because I look at myself as a lionesst um, 120 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: and I want my lion to to address me as such. 121 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: You know, I don't. I get it, I get it, 122 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. I feel like I 123 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: feel like we need to be role specific here in 124 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: the sense of that everybody's gonna have their can't or 125 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: whatever and this is not about you know, that just 126 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: varies from person to person, but the idea that we 127 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: don't separate the vagina or separate the sexual organs or 128 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: the things that society says are sexy breasts or butts 129 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: or whatever, that we don't start we don't separate those 130 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: things from a human being, and that we we learn 131 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: to humanize the sexual experience and the pleasure experience, and 132 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: that that you're in a moment with another person, and 133 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: that they're a full person and they have a whole 134 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 1: body and a mind and an emotions, and and that 135 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,080 Speaker 1: they're real, you know what I mean, and that they're 136 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: not an object. And I think that happens both ways. 137 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: And honestly, I feel like men free themselves when they 138 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: are treated like that, and just as we do, we 139 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,079 Speaker 1: free ourselves when we're treated like that. These two human beings, 140 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: even when it's same sex, no matter what it is, 141 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: and it's two human beings that respect their humanity and 142 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: they go into that situation and it's all about that, 143 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: honey king, whatever spectrum of the kinks that you want, 144 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: it's fine, But at the end of the day, it's 145 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 1: a person. And that's that's why I feel like love 146 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: is so important. Love in the sense, in the larger 147 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: sense of love, you know what I mean, but love 148 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: friendship you actually like somebody trust trust. I trust that 149 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: you're going to choke me. I trust that you're not 150 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: going to take me to Thank you exactly exactly. Yeah, yeah, 151 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 1: to put it there. Thank you friend, thank you so yeah, 152 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: thank you friend. It's just a lot of folks that 153 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: just giving me so many gems tonight, I'm gonna say 154 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: thank you, nice, thank you. I'm like texted right now. 155 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 1: I like it when it's so good. All you gotta 156 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,959 Speaker 1: do is touch feet and it feels if it's something 157 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 1: you feel it in your in your in your coach, 158 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 1: are you yeah, I am really yeah yeah, but not 159 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: like in the mouth right like no, no, no, no, no, 160 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: no no, I'm good on that. Just the touch of 161 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:32,079 Speaker 1: the touch, like the foot touch. Yeah, but I really 162 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: love a foot. Time you felt that one, Yeah, that's 163 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,319 Speaker 1: when you know. That's what I mean for me. That's 164 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: the clue you're you're ready, okay, Yeah, yeah, I got 165 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: a thing. I definitely have a thing for hands and feet, 166 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 1: you know. But like ages said, everybody's gonna have their 167 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: kinks and their proclivities. What we're really talking about is 168 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: is connecting with your whole self and not just the 169 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: pieces of you. Yeah, somebody's gonna be like, oh I 170 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: like your ass, well I like your bru your tits 171 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: or whatever, or they want to, you know, just connect 172 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: with your vagina, but not with you at all. You 173 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: know that happens a lot. I feel like that happens 174 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: way too much. But you know the difference because you've 175 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 1: all felt we've all had that well hopefully we've all 176 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 1: had that feeling where you might be having some great sex, 177 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:23,080 Speaker 1: but it's the moment when you guys catch each other's eyes. 178 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: It's a moment when it's just like you digging into 179 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: each other soul moment and yeah, this is happening too, 180 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: but oh oh oh yeah, oh m hmmm, it's a 181 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: beautiful thing. More conversation after the break, I will say 182 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 1: this and and to to bring back one of the 183 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: things that we earned coming into doing these episodes, where 184 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, so much of the of the 185 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: treating another person in that way comes from first kind 186 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 1: of knowing and understanding your body. And you know, I 187 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: had no idea that we had come so far in 188 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: this journey to kind of like really get to know 189 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: your body as a woman and how it functions and 190 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:28,560 Speaker 1: the functions of this body, you know. And just recently 191 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 1: we were it was brought to my attention that a 192 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: lot of women are using like even apps to kind 193 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 1: of follow their cycle and all the different things that 194 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,679 Speaker 1: happened from the moment you have your period, in times 195 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 1: of your off your period to determine everything from what 196 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: you eat to how much you get, how how much 197 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: sleep you get, when you should work out. I mean, 198 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,080 Speaker 1: these are things that honestly, I have never been in 199 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: touch with my body to that level, to where I 200 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 1: allowed my body to dictate all of the things things 201 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: that I did for myself, even down to my resting. 202 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 1: And you know, to think that I'm a woman at 203 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 1: at middle age where I am just now discovering some 204 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 1: of those things and even in a more emotional way, 205 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: in a more spiritual way, the choosing of the self, 206 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 1: the listening to the self, the trusting the self, you know, 207 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 1: And that was really intense for me. And I really 208 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,440 Speaker 1: thought that that that was, you know, just I'm so 209 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 1: proud of the young girl. He's I called the young girls, 210 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,559 Speaker 1: the girls, whether you know, I'm so proud of them 211 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: because they're bringing that into an actual daily practice much 212 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,319 Speaker 1: younger than I learned, and I'm still learning, so this 213 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: is actually really new to me. And what of this stuff? 214 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: They had a three inch thick cotton pad and a 215 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 1: belt that you put together with safety pends. Safe depended 216 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: of your panties. Oh I missed him? Yeah, yeah, can 217 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: you imagine it is because of them? No, like we've 218 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 1: come a mind along way. I just love that, just 219 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 1: the concept that we are here and beginning finally really 220 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: beginning to understand our bodies. And it's not just for 221 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 1: which is it's not just for you know, duelus, you know, 222 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 1: it's for all of us to have a good grasp 223 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 1: of our bodies. And did y'all know they didn't even 224 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: advertise pads on TV till nineteen seventies. I did nineteen 225 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 1: sevent and him hit him. I went to all girls school, 226 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,080 Speaker 1: you know, I went to Philadelphia High School for girls 227 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: and folks and just walk out with their tampon in 228 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: their hand or their pad in their hands. You had 229 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 1: a little bag that you had to put in your 230 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: book back, you know, you carry that to the bathroom. 231 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: Everybody in the school had a day on period, you 232 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: know what I mean, pretty much almost all of the 233 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: students had a cycle of some sort, and nonetheless we 234 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: were still hiding it from each other. Right, yeah, here 235 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: we are here. Now, we're out here now many many 236 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 1: period apps. Now they're making sure they're keeping up with 237 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: everything that's going on with us. That's where we are. 238 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: I love it. Uh well, listen, I mean, you have 239 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: to do what you have to do. And the health 240 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: care aspect of it is so important. And again we're 241 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 1: talking about things like you know, and we talk about 242 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: her all the time, and we really I'm ashamed of 243 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: us that we haven't had her on yet, the sister 244 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: from the NA ministry, and that even down to us 245 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: really getting into understanding how how much we need to 246 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 1: rest that, I mean, just all of the ways that 247 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: we are moving this whole conversation forward is amazing to me. 248 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: And I want you. I don't even remember the name 249 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 1: of that app though, like I know you were talking 250 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: about it. It's called what is it called? Did you 251 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: try it? Like? I have tried it. I have not 252 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: done the higher levels yet, but yes I have tried it. 253 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 1: I like it. Mind you, I already had a period 254 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: of app But the difference between this one and mine 255 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 1: is that it's just it's way more intricate into telling 256 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 1: you the daily of how you should be expecting to 257 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: feel and live and what you should be doing. That's 258 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: why I did it, girl. I'm glad I didn't have 259 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 1: this because my poor children probably might not have got 260 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,600 Speaker 1: born because that it was not for acts at not 261 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: knowing nothing about cool. No, I'm joking, but still, I mean, well, 262 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: you you know, you guys know that I'm kind of 263 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: a unicorn in that way. That's right. Yeah, I spent 264 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: eighteen years without a cycle, and is it and then 265 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: it went regular, right, yeah, and then it went regular. 266 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: Now it's it's whenever it feels like it. I can't 267 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 1: count on it. You know, it comes when it once, 268 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: It goes when it when it once. Wow, my mine 269 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 1: is like clockwork right now. I'm unfortunately it is. Literally 270 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: I could set everybody's timers beautiful. I don't know what's 271 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: after having children, it just reverted back to some sort 272 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,399 Speaker 1: of seventeen year old cycle where it's just like bam, 273 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: every twenty eight days, bow bow bow bow. Yeah. And 274 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: I don't I don't that I'm not used to that, 275 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:28,719 Speaker 1: but it has it's it's rolling. It's a couple of 276 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,119 Speaker 1: months and I don't even blink like whole you know. 277 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 1: I love that we are all three so different. I'm 278 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,680 Speaker 1: like even in this moment in this flow story because 279 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, this five broid cycle right here, child, 280 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: I had my doctor said I'm gonna give you this bill. 281 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,160 Speaker 1: So did your your periods be lighter? Right? The catch? Well, 282 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,879 Speaker 1: she didn't tell me. The catch was she say, you 283 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: was gonna have, um, like, three weeks of a period. 284 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 1: We can talk after you. They had three weeks of 285 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: a period on a vacation in Jamaica, and I was like, oh, 286 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 1: it's lighter, thank you. Dr. However, I've been on this 287 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:07,880 Speaker 1: motherfucker for three weeks and so when does it go away? Oh? 288 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,400 Speaker 1: Shout out to the system. You know, it's all good. 289 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,200 Speaker 1: You know we figured out well. You know they're also 290 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,479 Speaker 1: talking about how came out. I saw a tweet, so 291 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: I want to make sure i'd let y'all know I 292 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: didn't read an article or a book. This is a 293 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 1: tweet that was made about how that that common practice 294 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: of giving teenage girls birth control pills to control things 295 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: like acne and things like that has has has has 296 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: been proven that there's lots of carcinogens and stuff like 297 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 1: that have been I mean it's bad, like the implications, 298 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: the long term health implications of that for a generation 299 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 1: of girls, because you know that was commonplace when free samples, yea, 300 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,200 Speaker 1: they used the doctors. They had no problem giving free 301 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,639 Speaker 1: samples of birth control pills. What listen. I didn't listen. 302 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: I wasn't afraid I was gonna get more titties. And 303 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I don't want no 304 00:18:55,480 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: more titties. Just please, I'll be I don't have a 305 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 1: period anyway, kindly something three can all agree on. The 306 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: Delicious Crew, I love it. That was. That was the reason. 307 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 1: To the Delicious Crew, though, you give me birth control 308 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,199 Speaker 1: to get my cycle to regulate, And I was like, 309 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 1: I'm cool. Does not have it? Man, I was like 310 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: a pass forward going to wear white. Oh summer long. 311 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: I'm just so jealous. I'm gonna tell you something. I've 312 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 1: never been on birth control pills. The first birth control 313 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,160 Speaker 1: I was ever on was something that was actually pretty 314 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 1: bad for women. Later on down the line, they realized 315 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 1: was something called depot rivera, which is that I remember 316 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 1: that the pill in the arm, right, Yeah, yeah, I 317 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: was on that after my first or second one of 318 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: those two. No, it was after my second child, because um, 319 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, two kids is a lie. So 320 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:01,959 Speaker 1: I got one. Yeah, I got that, and my hair thinned, 321 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,640 Speaker 1: my eyesight got worse, and it took me no time 322 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: to start to notice it. And I was like, yeah, 323 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: I'm done with this, and let me tell you all 324 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: what was the big gag. The big gag was they 325 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: told me that, oh, it's such a strong medicine that 326 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,959 Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to worry about getting pregnant 327 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: for at least a year. You can be off it 328 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 1: for like a year. Girl, I got off that damn thing. 329 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,639 Speaker 1: Two months later I was pregnant. Yeah, and that was 330 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,440 Speaker 1: just baby three. I see you. I'm about to say 331 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:37,160 Speaker 1: any any that's why it Yeah, that's why. That's why 332 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 1: Dea and Nina are the closest thing to stair step 333 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,120 Speaker 1: babies that I have. Out of the whole six, they're 334 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: the closest. Is that the classy way of saying ghetto twins. 335 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:52,399 Speaker 1: First of all, I'm about to quit you again, cut her, 336 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: cut her, cut her, Mike off step stairs, step Okay, 337 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I see it's the lack of 338 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: filter for me that is about the proper, the proper, 339 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:12,160 Speaker 1: politically incorrect term you're looking for. It's Irish twins. Okay. 340 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,640 Speaker 1: So if you're gonna say something, if you're gonna say 341 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,440 Speaker 1: something foul, you're gonna say it about this white folks. 342 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,679 Speaker 1: You're gonna say about the black people who said that 343 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 1: the ghetto got to do with black folks. It ain't 344 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: start with black folks. You got Irish. Come on, now, 345 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: you got me o that and you're right and you're 346 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: right and I'm wrong. How about that you are right 347 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,919 Speaker 1: and I'm wrong? One time? Ever, I'm gonna take this. 348 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna take this time, and I'm gonna put my 349 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: head down. Yes, no, no, no, no, because because silence. Yes, 350 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: it's just highly educated people. I don't know if y'all 351 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 1: know this. I'm just saying so I know it. No. No. 352 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 1: The reason why I had to acknowledge is because it 353 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,119 Speaker 1: was so dead wrong to equate blackness with ghetto this 354 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: that I just was like, oh, that is so foul. Agent. 355 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: You us have to actually take responsibility for that. That 356 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,879 Speaker 1: is foul. It was almost my point is it was 357 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,280 Speaker 1: almost a trap. But yeah, no, the girls. The girls 358 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: are really close together because like you know, it's just 359 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 1: like and it's so hard to navigate this stuff like 360 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: for for for like uter in health stuff like and 361 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:27,360 Speaker 1: and and that girl and having babies and stuff, oh, 362 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:32,400 Speaker 1: having babies and everything. Oh my god, like you called 363 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 1: this situation. Don't know even some women have never even 364 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 1: seen their own servis you got a whole human being 365 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: of this thing, and you've never even seen it. I'm 366 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:48,800 Speaker 1: supposed to have seen you. Have you seen You've had 367 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:53,680 Speaker 1: a speculum, right, They've been going in there and open 368 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,200 Speaker 1: the next time they go and look at it. Asked 369 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,240 Speaker 1: them for a mirror and show you what it looked like. 370 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 1: I'm scared what I'm taking out. Okay, okay, okay, you 371 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: said you you made a little statement about your fist. Yeah, 372 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 1: your vagina don't look like this, But that's what they 373 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: told me. That's why I did that. Okay, I'm gonna 374 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna try that. Oh my god, you mean a 375 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: picture of while you're getting a pop smear of pelvic? 376 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: Oh lord, y'all did that? Am I the only person 377 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: who's never did that? It wasn't my choice. Mirror, it 378 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: wasn't my choice. And doctor was like my wife, and 379 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, it wasn't something that I 380 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: necessarily wanted to be prepared. It's making me sweat just 381 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 1: thinking about it. But the fascinating We're gonna take a 382 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: quick break and then we'll be right back. Think about 383 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: all of this time, all of this time that women 384 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 1: have not been aware of themselves, all of all of 385 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 1: this time, all of this time not knowing how to 386 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 1: have an orgasm, not not not understanding that there's nothing 387 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 1: wrong with your pleasure. Um, how many women suffered, you know, 388 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 1: just because it didn't understand it. It It was supposed to 389 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,879 Speaker 1: be mutually beneficial sex and and and sexuality is supposed 390 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: to mutually beneficial. So here we are in a state 391 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 1: of being where we get to understand more about ourselves, 392 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 1: about what we want, about what feels good, and being 393 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 1: able to say that this, this doesn't give me pleasure. 394 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,200 Speaker 1: How many women suffered in marriages where they hated having 395 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,239 Speaker 1: sex with their husband, you know, just hated it and 396 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 1: couldn't even find the words to to say why it was. 397 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: So you know, um, I have a girlfriend actually, Um, 398 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: who who really beautiful. Her husband is really beautiful as well. 399 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: Oh my god, they're gorgeous. But sex is very painful 400 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,199 Speaker 1: for her, very very painful for her. I don't know 401 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: why it is the way that it is. I don't 402 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 1: know how they're you're moving forward through it, but um, 403 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 1: that is, and just know that it's a real thing. 404 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 1: That's that's a real thing. But that's where oral sex. 405 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,400 Speaker 1: We're knowing each other's bodies were, intimacy and all those 406 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 1: understanding that comes in handy in a moment like that, 407 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 1: because and also to eventually all of us get older, 408 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 1: and let's say, I mean you're I mean in your sixties, seventies, eighties, 409 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 1: we're saying, I mean, I'm well, sometimes men can't do 410 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 1: oh you know right, or even you might have vaginal dryness, 411 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 1: you might have issues with all the menopause. The menopause, 412 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: both men and women experience a lot of changes in 413 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 1: the body. So if you don't, if all you have 414 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 1: is your genitalia and then that goes away, then what 415 00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: do you have? Hello, This is why we're having this 416 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: conversation because it's not just uh, sex and pleasure is 417 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,479 Speaker 1: not just your genitalia. It's more than that. It's a 418 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,200 Speaker 1: mental game, it's a spiritual game. It's touch and it's 419 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,800 Speaker 1: it's not just touching in the parts that you're thinking. 420 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: It's touch on the foreheads, touched on the head itself, hands, 421 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: the neck, the back, the feet, the thigh, the knee, 422 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,399 Speaker 1: the leg, all of these parts. Is what we're talking 423 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 1: about when we're saying a whole experience, not just an 424 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 1: h O L E experience. You feel me like, this 425 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 1: is what what we're trying to get to you today, 426 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 1: is that you're more than just the some of your parts, 427 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 1: your your entire being. Your eyes. Anybody ever licked your eyes? 428 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 1: My sweet anybody anybody ever, oh my, oh my, what 429 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: a nice time. Anybody ever licked the palm of your hand? 430 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: Any I do you ever suck your fingers? You know 431 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, That that part that right before you 432 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:12,640 Speaker 1: know where you're meets your ass, that that part right 433 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: there with somebody, just hold that real tight, all you 434 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: into them, all of the party on neck right there, 435 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 1: jail that back, party on neck right right there, that 436 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 1: all of these things. If you're not experiencing that, maybe 437 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 1: you might want to slow down and meet somebody like 438 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 1: I have real conversations with someone, laugh with them, get 439 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,359 Speaker 1: to get to know who they are, because you're missing 440 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 1: out on something that I personally feel so valuable to 441 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 1: your humanity, being able to connect with someone on on 442 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 1: many levels at one time. It's beautiful. M fuck y'all. 443 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, let's let's just let's let's let's 444 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 1: just be real. What we are ultimately talking about is 445 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:12,440 Speaker 1: seduction and understanding how that works because it it can 446 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 1: start in many, many different ways. It's just like I 447 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: was reading this book, UM Jason Reynolds, who was like 448 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 1: one of my favorite um kid authors, and um he 449 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: wrote many books, but he wrote he's kind of famous 450 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,480 Speaker 1: for having written Miles and Morales UM Black spider Man, 451 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 1: a story which, by the way, has been banned by 452 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: several school districts recently since they're banning all these black 453 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 1: books insane. But we'll talk about that on another podcast. 454 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 1: But the thing is that UM Jason Reynolds UM contributed 455 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: to a book called Anonymous Sex and What the And 456 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: it's a bunch of short stories from a bunch of 457 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: different authors, but none of them are named in the 458 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 1: story they wrote, so you don't know who wrote what. 459 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 1: You just know that they were a part of the collection, 460 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: but you don't know who wrote what. But all the 461 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: stories are about sex and honey, this is a very 462 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 1: very hot experience to read these stories. Yeah, it's it's 463 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: called Anonymous Sex. Have you read it with the company. 464 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 1: It's like a nice thing to like maybe read to 465 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,800 Speaker 1: each other. So so wait a minute. I was trying 466 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 1: to read through the whole book and then pick the 467 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 1: ones I wanted to read to fteen, and so I've 468 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 1: only halfway through it. I already want to read the 469 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 1: first one Anonymous Sex. I don't know, Jill, I'm oh, 470 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 1: it's all black. Arthur's usaid, no, all kinds of authors. 471 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 1: They've been calling them smut books and filth books. I've 472 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: been reading them for years, but this one isn't like that. 473 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 1: Well they're all I mean those are good too. I 474 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: mean those they have their They had one from back 475 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: in the day, from the nineties that that we snuck 476 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,239 Speaker 1: in red. There was and it's still very few like 477 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 1: this book. It came out of the nighties. It was 478 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: called noir, erotic noir or something like that. I can 479 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:15,080 Speaker 1: remember that book, Yeah it was, yeah, I know that. Um, 480 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: it's a classic New Airs in there. Yes, it's it's 481 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: somebody's gonna know. Somebody who's listening is gonna know, and 482 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,480 Speaker 1: they're gonna tweet me or something. But I think Williams 483 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 1: gave me that book. It's it's it came out when 484 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: I was like in junior high school and something like that, 485 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,880 Speaker 1: and I was reading it nasty, I'm over here. It's 486 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: not new, but it's a nice way to connect to 487 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: your mind, you know, um, sexually, you know, to see 488 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: things in your head before you actually, you know, do 489 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: the deeds. You know, reading is fundamental friends, you know, 490 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 1: trying Yeah, that's a good way to try. This hand 491 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,240 Speaker 1: track to business as well, you know, spending some time 492 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: just breathing into someone you know that you that you 493 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:09,960 Speaker 1: actually like like, not just because you find them physically attractive, 494 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,600 Speaker 1: but someone that you actually like. I think for a 495 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: long time, um, when I was growing up. Anyway, I 496 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 1: know I sound like an old person, but I don't care. Um, guys, 497 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: guys from my experience pick girls that they liked for 498 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,840 Speaker 1: different reasons, you know, because she had a gap tube, 499 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 1: or because she had bow legs, or because she had 500 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,560 Speaker 1: smooth feet, or because her fingers were you know, double 501 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: join it, or because she had freckles was a classic 502 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: you you liked, you liked what you liked. And right 503 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,600 Speaker 1: now it seems to me like most most guys are picking. 504 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 1: Um it's like copy and paste, you know that, picking 505 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 1: someone that looks like the last someone that looked like 506 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,960 Speaker 1: the last someone before that, because they want the approval 507 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 1: of their friends, but they've forgotten or maybe they're just 508 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 1: ignoring the fact. Maybe they're cheating with those other women 509 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 1: you know that they have the bow legs and have 510 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: the freckles and have the little you know, muffing around 511 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: the middle that they love to bite. You know what 512 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:23,760 Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like something that's happening where unfortunately, Um, it 513 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: seems to me that guys are losing their minds. They're 514 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 1: not they're not owning themselves. They don't they don't even 515 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,840 Speaker 1: know how to like what they like. And I think 516 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 1: that's really unfortunate. Well, I want to shout out some 517 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: of the grown grown ass man shout him that. I 518 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,240 Speaker 1: want to shout them out because on on the Good 519 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 1: People's internets about two weeks ago, um my homeboy Joe 520 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 1: Claire posted clature of a woman a woman laying on 521 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 1: her aside, and her little pooch was showing, and he 522 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 1: was like a real ass man, this is it. I 523 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:04,680 Speaker 1: saw polished one of those. Yeah, and it was I 524 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 1: had like a little pooch and I was like, and listen, 525 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 1: and my husband sent me the Lincoln and my d 526 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: D M de picture to me, I was just like, 527 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,400 Speaker 1: your damn right. I just want to give it up, 528 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, it's like you said, 529 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 1: what ends up being really sexy is knowing each other. 530 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 1: And that's the truth. That's some sexy ship, even when 531 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 1: it's even when you're just laughing, because we'll crack up laughing, 532 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, at the end of the 533 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 1: that to me is the it. That's the it. She 534 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 1: know me, I know her. You know. I can. I 535 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 1: can fuss about my little stretch marks or whatever. But 536 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,320 Speaker 1: he'd be calling those he'd be like, that's where my 537 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: babies came from. Those be a battle scars, or he'll 538 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: say he used to call him corduroy. I don't want 539 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,760 Speaker 1: to talk about that, but you know, sometimes he'll be like, 540 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 1: what's up, big brown, or say something to me that 541 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,360 Speaker 1: it's just like he just know me, and to me, 542 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:05,560 Speaker 1: I wish that for everybody. And it's not really about marriage, 543 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 1: because I don't want people to get into that bag. 544 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,959 Speaker 1: Oh age A, you're saying that because you're married. That's 545 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 1: not just about marriage. That's about connection. You either connected 546 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,880 Speaker 1: or you're not. So you can put whatever title you 547 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,040 Speaker 1: want to put on it. You can put you can 548 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 1: insert whatever people you want, whatever you know, gender, they are, 549 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:29,880 Speaker 1: whatever connected is connected. You can't fake that ship. And 550 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 1: it's sexy and it has the same result every time, 551 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,160 Speaker 1: and it takes you to new places. And I'm so 552 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:41,879 Speaker 1: grateful for that because now I love getting he yes, 553 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 1: I didn't know. I feel like I gotta give you, 554 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:57,839 Speaker 1: I gotta gift for I had no idea. I'm so 555 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,960 Speaker 1: happy for you. Listening to p Will talk about it, 556 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 1: I was like, but you know, the playing field is 557 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,719 Speaker 1: a lot a lot different now. Yeah, now you get 558 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,759 Speaker 1: to figure out which way you like it, not just 559 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 1: that way. Maybe see this is what I'm talking about. 560 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 1: On the side, girl, on my stomach, on my stomach, 561 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:24,400 Speaker 1: earl on the skirl girl. There's so many possibilities, baby, 562 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 1: and we are so proud of you, we really are. 563 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 1: Somebody should make it. Somebody should make a little card 564 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,160 Speaker 1: or something. Somebody should just send you a little note. 565 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: I'm just so grateful. I didn't know. I wanted to 566 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,759 Speaker 1: want everybody else to know, to not just not just 567 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:46,279 Speaker 1: about that particularly part, but I mean, damn, it is 568 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:50,320 Speaker 1: too sweet. I am blessing. Life is just too sweet 569 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,160 Speaker 1: to to only experience little bits and pieces of you. 570 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: So thank you so much for listening to Jay dot podcast. 571 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:10,520 Speaker 1: It is always our pleasure. Love you see how do 572 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 1: you eat an elephant? One by? It time? Hi, their listeners. 573 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,279 Speaker 1: It's Amber, the producer of Jay dot l and this 574 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 1: episode the Ladies talked about tracking your menstrual cycle with 575 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 1: a method called cycle tracking. Now there are tons of 576 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 1: resources out there to learn more about the practice. I 577 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,720 Speaker 1: want to recommend a book by Alissa Vitti called Woman Code. 578 00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 1: I'll share a link to it in the show notes. 579 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: In this book, she dives deep into each phase of 580 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,680 Speaker 1: the mentrual cycle, from the best time to be creative, 581 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 1: the best time to go on dates, and what to 582 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:47,320 Speaker 1: eat during each phase. I'll also link the flow app 583 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,279 Speaker 1: the Ladies discussed today in the show notes, which is 584 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,360 Speaker 1: an easy way to jump start your cycle tracking journey 585 00:36:53,800 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 1: and get to know your body. Ye Hi, if you 586 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:12,200 Speaker 1: have comments on something we said in this episode called 587 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,680 Speaker 1: eight six six. Hey Jill, if you want to add 588 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,799 Speaker 1: to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four 589 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,759 Speaker 1: five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and 590 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:26,359 Speaker 1: the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your 591 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,120 Speaker 1: message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to 592 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 1: Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast JA dot 593 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,040 Speaker 1: Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more 594 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:44,240 Speaker 1: podcast from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, 595 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows