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Speaker 1: So let's put a pin in puppies probably a better phrase.

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Speaker 1: Then let's put a pin and puppies all right. Let's

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Speaker 1: put a pin and puppies all right. Josh has changed

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Speaker 1: campsite media large. So Rory, I have a riddle for you,

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Speaker 1: Jesus Josh, I always wondered, what do you do in

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Speaker 1: your spare time? No, I know what has four legs,

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Speaker 1: hair all over and the potential to murder you.

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Speaker 2: I want to say a dog, but they're so loving

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Speaker 2: that I'm gonna go cat the answer, ah am, I

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Speaker 2: oh for however, many of these we've done, I've never got.

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Speaker 1: I've been close, I've never gotten anything right. No, you're

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Speaker 1: very close often though, I mean, like I think on

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Speaker 1: a you're very I mean because you wanted to say

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Speaker 1: dog and you said kat. Yeah, I'm always in the neighborhood. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The answer I was looking for with dog and potentially

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Speaker 1: your dog. No, not my sweet sweet baby boy. What

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Speaker 1: kind of I forget what kind of dog you have?

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Speaker 1: Mini poodle? Docs and mixed? I mean, if he's a murderer,

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Speaker 1: it's the most unsuspecting kind. This week on Crime List,

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Speaker 1: the call is coming from inside the house, perhaps cuddled

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Speaker 1: up on your couch, wagging its tail menacingly a long

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Speaker 1: walk slash exploration into pets and the crimes they commit.

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Speaker 1: Coming up on crime Less. Hello, and welcome back to

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Speaker 1: crime List, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of

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Speaker 1: the world's dumbest and cutest criminals. I'm Josh Deen, and

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Speaker 1: I am the cutest Rory Skofel, just slightly cuter, just

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Speaker 1: like just a little alledge. Okay, Rory, listen, I really

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Speaker 1: enjoyed working with you. I think it's time we take

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Speaker 1: our relationship to the next level. Okay, I think we

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Speaker 1: should adopt a pet together.

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Speaker 2: Okay, not what I was thinking at all, but okay, yes,

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Speaker 2: I'm down. I'm down to try.

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Speaker 1: It'll bond us as co host, really solidify the brand

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Speaker 1: of the show like a little mascot. We take care

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Speaker 1: of what.

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Speaker 2: I was picturing too. Would have also bonded us in

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Speaker 2: a way, but okay, got it.

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Speaker 1: Hey, now you did just come from Burning Man, so

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Speaker 1: I'm changed. I'm forever changed. What we're looking for is

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Speaker 1: a creature that exhibits all the qualities of a good

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Speaker 1: crime Less episode, and we're gonna go animal by animal

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Speaker 1: and analyze its suitability for crimeless mascot, and we're gonna

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Speaker 1: start with dogs. Yeah, so I want to play a

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Speaker 1: little name game. Sorry, Lane, I'm skipping ahead here.

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Speaker 2: Not Lane's games, Josh's game games.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a dog's name Rory, and

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Speaker 1: you tell me the crime. It's guilty of the first

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Speaker 1: one's a bit of a freebie. Trigger the chocolate lab trigger,

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Speaker 1: all right, murder, A shooting close. It was a shooting,

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Speaker 1: so I will give you a point there. Triggers from

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Speaker 1: Indiana stepped on a twelve gage shotgun while on a

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Speaker 1: hunting trip. The safety of the gun was off, and

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Speaker 1: he shot his owner in the foot.

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Speaker 2: Oh, and that's where you want to keep your gun

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Speaker 2: is wherever a dog would potentially be walking. That's all

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Speaker 2: I've ever learned. As someone who's never taken one gun

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Speaker 2: safety course, I know that's where you want to keep

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Speaker 2: your gun.

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Speaker 1: Well, no, no, number one. Number one is like definitely

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Speaker 1: in your child's room, and number two is where you

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Speaker 1: walk exactly yeah, on the coffee table. Loaded. All right.

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Speaker 1: So here's a local news clip featuring the most Indiana

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Speaker 1: man I've ever seen or heard.

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Speaker 3: Thompson, who's been shooting guns for fifty years believe Saturday's

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Speaker 3: incident represents a lack of formal training.

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Speaker 1: That was more human error than anything. I've hunt with

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Speaker 1: dogs and stuff before and never had no problems. Trained

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Speaker 1: the dog or else. Get somebody to train the dog

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Speaker 1: for great timing on hearing a gunshot as that clip ends.

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Speaker 1: Also train your dog. Yeah, definitely not the dog's fault, right,

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Speaker 1: Oh of course, I just let me just set this

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Speaker 1: down on the ground real quick. I got to run

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Speaker 1: to the porta let. What could happen? I liked that

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Speaker 1: guy put on as nice as vest for the interview.

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Speaker 1: He knew, he knewhere they were coming. Okay, next up,

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Speaker 1: what crime did Oreo, the one year old pitbull from

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Speaker 1: Memphis commit? Well, you know, Oreo makes me think of

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Speaker 1: the hamburglar dressed in white and black stripes, So the

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Speaker 1: part of me wants some thing. Oreo got a little

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Speaker 1: close to the grill.

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Speaker 2: The most low stakes crime grabbed a burger that wasn't

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Speaker 2: necessarily for them.

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Speaker 1: I mean technically theft, I think, yeah, theft, yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: wrong shooting?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, so they're also all right, okay grabbing the

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Speaker 2: theme now okay.

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Speaker 1: Uh. The thirty nine year old victim was quote relaxing

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Speaker 1: and talking with a female friend on his bed. Love

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Speaker 1: that when Oreo jumped up to join them. Okay, this

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Speaker 1: gets weird the more I read. I guess there was

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Speaker 1: also a loaded gun in the bed too. Because the

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Speaker 1: dog's paul got stuck in the trigger. Discharging the gun,

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Speaker 1: Oreo's owner was grazed in the thigh. Oh so fortunate.

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Speaker 2: But again, as someone who's never taken a gun safety course,

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Speaker 2: I know the three places you want to leave your

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Speaker 2: gun are on the ground, and in your bed and

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Speaker 2: on a coffee table.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, America. Okay, so that's two near missus

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Speaker 1: by violent gun crazed canines. Finally we have Charlie, the

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Speaker 1: Rottweiler mix. Oh, here we go. What did he do? Rory?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I want to say, jumped on a gun

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Speaker 2: and shot somebody. So, you know, just for I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: I bet it's a curveball, but I'm gonna go with that.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna play the odds here. No, you're right,

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Speaker 1: we should have tricked you, but we didn't. Yes, perfect.

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Speaker 1: This one happened on a hunting strip. Also, Charlie's owner

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Speaker 1: was sitting in his truck and his rifle was in

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Speaker 1: the back seat with three dogs, one of which was

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Speaker 1: named Charlie. Somehow, while waiting to go chase jack rabbits,

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Speaker 1: Charlie's paw got stuck in the trigger and he shot

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Speaker 1: his dad in the back. Good lord, I just I don't.

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Speaker 2: I mean, maybe some gun owners don't have any faith

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Speaker 2: that something bad can happen with a gun.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. Let's review. So, loaded

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Speaker 1: gun in the back seat along with three animals that

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Speaker 1: move around a lot. Yeah, they are definitely not wearing seatbelts. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so he could have put the gun in the front

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Speaker 1: seat with him and no dogs. Instead he put it

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Speaker 1: in the back seat with three dogs and shocker, they

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Speaker 1: shot him. Yeah, or in the trailer or whatever. Fortunately

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Speaker 1: dad also lived. So dogs are just terrible fucking assassins.

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Speaker 1: That's the first lesson this week. Like, you don't hire

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Speaker 1: a dog to kill somebody. Yeah, they'll fail. And let's

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Speaker 1: not let's not act like dogs are dumb. That could

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Speaker 1: have been a premeditated attempt at like finally getting to

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Speaker 1: move to a new home. Yeah, maybe who's a deck.

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Speaker 2: Maybe the dogs don't like hunting, you know, maybe maybe

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Speaker 2: that's sort of the theme.

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Speaker 1: Here as opposed to the bedroom one. Right, Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't know about that. What lesson is he's sending? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't like you. Get her out of our house. Okay.

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Speaker 1: In all seriousness, these were all freak accidents. I will

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Speaker 1: tolerate no dogs slander on this podcast. I won't either.

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Speaker 1: Very little good in the world, but dogs make up

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Speaker 1: ninety percent of what good there is. The other ten percent,

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Speaker 1: of course, stand up comedy and podcasts. Thank you, or

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Speaker 1: maybe we should save a few percent for burning man.

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Speaker 1: Also thank you. So a crime list gets political for

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Speaker 1: a second morning. This isn't a dog problem or a

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Speaker 1: dog mental health problem. Pretty sure, it's a gun problem. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Since two thousand and four, twenty three people in the

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Speaker 1: United States have been shot by dogs, according to GVPDIA,

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Speaker 1: a nonprofit dedicated to gun violence prevention. And in case

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Speaker 1: you were wondering, America is far and away the leader

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Speaker 1: in cases of dogs shooting people, Which is a sentence.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe I just said with a straight face.

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Speaker 2: So are you saying in eleven years, fourteen people have

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Speaker 2: been shot biopets.

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Speaker 1: Twenty three people, twenty three people.

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Speaker 2: Here's what's so crazy because we're the United States of

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Speaker 2: America with a billion guns?

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Speaker 1: Is that actually a pretty decently low number? Like I

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Speaker 1: know all the other countries are at zero, but it's like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, fair point, fairpoint in the context of America,

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Speaker 1: not that bad, Honestly, Michael Jordan's number, that's pretty cool.

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Speaker 1: Anywhere else they're like, are you fucking kidding me? Twenty

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Speaker 1: three dogs? If it was one, they'd be like, come on, America,

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Speaker 1: We're like, nah, we got time to twenty three that amount.

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Speaker 1: Look at you coming back from burning me with a

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Speaker 1: positive attitude, putting just a happier spin on all this

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Speaker 1: bad news. Hey, maybe we're not so wrong with all

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Speaker 1: these guns. I have the weirdest take after coming from Birdingman.

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Speaker 1: Maybe guns do serve a purpose? All right, So let's

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Speaker 1: let's put a pin in puppies undecided Maybe a little

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Speaker 1: too dangerous for our probably better phrase. Then let's put

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Speaker 1: a pin in puppies? All right? Well, there's the clip

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Speaker 1: at the top of the show. Let's put a pin

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Speaker 1: and puppies. All right, Josh has changed, Josh. I came

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Speaker 1: back to a different Josh. Well, let's kick those puppies aside.

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Speaker 1: Just slap them out of the way, and all right,

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Speaker 1: so maybe you're thinking, after all these dogs and guns,

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Speaker 1: that we should get a cat. Oh, all right, not

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Speaker 1: so fast. I did find at least one instance, in

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Speaker 1: this case in Michigan of a man getting shot by

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Speaker 1: his cat, same same sort of deal. Well, in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and five, a guy named Joseph Stanton left a

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Speaker 1: nine millimeter handgun on his kitchen counter, also on the

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Speaker 1: list of places destroy your guns. Right, yeah, this falls

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Speaker 1: under coffee table. Okay, it's tall coffee table. A tall

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Speaker 1: coffee table is how they labeled this. And so then

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Speaker 1: one of his cats did what cats loved to do.

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Speaker 1: He jumped up on the counter and knocked the first

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Speaker 1: thing he saw off the counter. In this case, unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: that thing was a gun and it discharged when it

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Speaker 1: hit the floor. Stanton was shot in his lower torso,

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Speaker 1: but was rushed to the hospital and survived. And the

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Speaker 1: cat actually gained one life in this scenario, if you could. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's right, a one up. But anyway, the real worry

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Speaker 1: with cats is not accidents. We should be worried about very,

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Speaker 1: very intentional acts of violence. Because a twenty twenty one

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Speaker 1: study published in the Journal of research and personality found

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Speaker 1: that all cats are psychopaths.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the only study I've ever understood that is

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Speaker 2: completely correct.

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Speaker 1: So researchers in the UK doing the Lord's work here,

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Speaker 1: surveyed pet owners to rate their cat's level of psychopathy.

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Speaker 1: They asked questions like, does your cat torment its prey

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Speaker 1: rather than killing it straight away? Is it undeterred by punishment?

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Speaker 1: Does it vocalize for no apparent reason? And as someone

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Speaker 1: who owns a cat, I can say yes to all

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Speaker 1: of the boat absolutely. Every time I've seen my cat

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Speaker 1: with a mouse, refuses to kill the mouse, throws it

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Speaker 1: around up in the air, smacks it around, and then

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Speaker 1: gets very sad when it ultimately dies of its injuries. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: doesn't eat it. Yeah. So researchers believe this psychotic behavior

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Speaker 1: is a matter of evolution, that being a big, fluffy

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Speaker 1: jerk was helpful in securing food territory, even mating. I guess, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's like a big I'm sure there's a whole part

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Speaker 1: of the manosphere that would say we should all act

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Speaker 1: more like cats. Hmmm, not a burning man.

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Speaker 2: I mean we all do in our own We've all

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Speaker 2: been standoffish before.

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Speaker 1: Notice I'm not saying that these cats are smart psychopaths.

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Speaker 1: This is crimos after all, These are dumb jerks. Yep.

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Speaker 1: For example, in twenty twenty one, the Metropolitan Fire and

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Speaker 1: Disaster Department in Soul, South Korea, reported that cats caused

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Speaker 1: more than one hundred house fires in the previous three years. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I never thought about that. Yep. So a good portion

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Speaker 1: of these fires were cats messing with stovetop knobs or

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Speaker 1: stepping on electronic buttons of an appliance. Oh man, new

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Speaker 1: fear unlocked, Thank you, Josh. Yep. So I guess we

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Speaker 1: need those like child prevention safety things on our knobs. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I guess probably the more electronic things get easier

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Speaker 1: it is for cats to burn your house down.

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Speaker 2: And also we'll never know if these were you know,

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Speaker 2: going against what you just said, these might not be

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Speaker 2: stupid cats.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they weren't accidents. So we're saying these might be

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Speaker 1: like ones like, oh, you're going out tonight, why don't

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Speaker 1: you go fuck yourself, I'm burning the house down. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: more treats. We'll see about that. I mean, the one

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Speaker 1: flaw in that plan is that I think cats are

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Speaker 1: highly flammable and they can't get out of the house

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Speaker 1: without you letting.

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Speaker 2: So they're like, oh fuck, okay, so smart, vindictive and stupid.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, just a collic sort of like, I'll show you, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and also me, damn, I'll show me. So to summarize,

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Speaker 1: so far, a dog could shoot you, a cat could

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Speaker 1: burn down your house. Yeah. Also logistically, I think pretty

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Speaker 1: hard to ship or cat or dog back and forth

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Speaker 1: between Colorado and New York. Oh good point. So after

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Speaker 1: the break, we're gonna go back to the drawing board

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Speaker 1: and find a more reasonable animal to be the crimelest mascot.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Crime List. Today, we're learning that we

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Speaker 1: should be very afraid of the adorable fur balls we

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Speaker 1: welcome into our home. But we're also on the hunt

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Speaker 1: for the next greatest dumbest animal criminal.

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Speaker 2: This is gonna give a leg up to guinea pigs.

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Speaker 2: That's what this episode's gonna do. A lot of people

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Speaker 2: are gonna pivot. They go, let's just get a guinea.

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Speaker 1: Pig not in Peru because they eat them there, okay,

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Speaker 1: or from Peru to save their life.

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Speaker 2: And then you can see you had to rescue guinea

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Speaker 2: pig because that's the identity we all want we all

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Speaker 2: want to say we rescued a pet. God, that's got

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Speaker 2: to be the worst. You're like, I rescued this dog

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Speaker 2: and then what happened? It shot me with my gun.

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Speaker 1: Because it grew up on the mean streets. Yeah, what

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Speaker 1: kind of pets did you have up?

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Speaker 2: We never had pets. My dad was like very allergic

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Speaker 2: to dogs. We always wanted a dog. We sort of

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Speaker 2: had one, but it stayed with my grandparents and it

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Speaker 2: was a sheep dog, giant fluffy, so fun named Ralph,

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Speaker 2: But that was kind of it. That was really all

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Speaker 2: the pets we had until my current dog. So a

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Speaker 2: big part of me looks at my current dog is

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Speaker 2: really my first pet, first dog.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, you were denied so much love and joy.

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Speaker 2: Gotta say, I do love the what you get from

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Speaker 2: a dog. I mean that unconditional love is like there's

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Speaker 2: a little lesson to learn in there we as people.

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Speaker 1: The only other place you see that is the ply.

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Speaker 2: You're only going to get that out on the ply

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Speaker 2: of folks. Dog like behavior through the filter of a human.

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Speaker 1: All right, So I was gonna run through some like

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Speaker 1: small pets. I thought maybe you'd had some of these,

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Speaker 1: but I guess not. So this will be new to you,

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Speaker 1: but I will.

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Speaker 2: I'll be very verbal and vocal about my distaste for

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Speaker 2: some of these pets.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's not a guinea pig joke. Gross hate them.

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Speaker 1: I prefer them fried. Yeah. Oh man, we're gonna get

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Speaker 1: so many letters.

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Speaker 2: Sandwich sandwich form hamsters. Yeah, I mean sure, I don't

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Speaker 2: get it. I don't get it as a pet, but

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Speaker 2: I bet it's fun.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, wait till I tell you this.

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Speaker 1: Hamsters are known to eat their own babies, So there

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Speaker 1: you go. I was right.

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Speaker 2: So I was right in sort of perceiving their evil

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Speaker 2: without even knowing it.

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Speaker 1: Hard to relate to that. You're a parent, But that's

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Speaker 1: hard to relate to that, right.

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Speaker 2: I've never once wanted to eat my child. It's just

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Speaker 2: it's never come up.

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Speaker 1: So hamster moms can have up to twenty babies in

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Speaker 1: one litter, So I guess she has a few despair

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Speaker 1: if she gets hungry, a little hungry. But let's cross

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Speaker 1: hamsters off the list. Too violent. Yeah, that's intentional violence. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna move on. How about ferrets.

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Speaker 2: I bet ferrets can be fun. And I only say

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Speaker 2: that because I loved that movie beast Master.

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Speaker 1: You've seen it. No, you've never seen beast Master. No,

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Speaker 1: I have not a horn with a string of a

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Speaker 1: black tiger. Josh, you haven't lived.

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Speaker 2: So you've seen a movie set in a very weird,

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Speaker 2: distant future.

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Speaker 1: And the guy has two ferrets that help him out

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Speaker 1: if they.

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Speaker 2: Talk, Nope, no, nope, but he talks to them and

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Speaker 2: they seem to understand what he needs.

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Speaker 1: Putting it on my list, Well, apparently not filmed in California,

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Speaker 1: Puerto Rico, or Hawaii because it's straight up illegal to

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Speaker 1: own a fairt as a pet in those places. In

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Speaker 1: some municipalities also band ferrets, like New York City. So

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Speaker 1: this pets out for me. And if you wonder, why

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Speaker 1: are they illegal? Because these long, skinny dudes pose a

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Speaker 1: threat to native wildlife? Yeah? What do they what's their prey?

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Speaker 1: Is that what it's about? Yeah? I mean I think

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Speaker 1: they're only semi domesticated. I mean they're basically weasels. I think,

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Speaker 1: which kill? What difference? Lane? You know the difference and weasel?

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Speaker 1: And you're not allowed to look it up, Lane, you're

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Speaker 1: not allowed to look it up.

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Speaker 3: I don't know the difference. If I'm not allowed to

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Speaker 3: look fair enough.

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Speaker 1: Let's say, uh, small like a ferret you interpret as cuter,

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Speaker 1: and a weasel you just interpret as wearing one of

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Speaker 1: those like bandanas with the ice cut out so they

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Speaker 1: can go steal stuff.

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Speaker 3: A ferret is a domesticated European pole cat, while weasels

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Speaker 3: are wild animals belonging to the same Mostella genus.

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Speaker 1: She didn't look that up.

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Speaker 3: I didn't look Yeah, no.

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Speaker 2: No, Nostella genus is a tattoo Lane recently got. So

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Speaker 2: I fully believe that that's not a new verb. That's

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Speaker 2: not new verbage for her.

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Speaker 1: Also, by the way, in New York City, the native

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Speaker 1: wildlife is rats and pigeons, So what the hell we

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Speaker 1: would all benefit from ferret's running around. Yeah, you've got

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Speaker 1: you've got a good argument to make. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: become a single issue voter. That's what I want out

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Speaker 1: of my next mayor. Let's legalize fair no matter what,

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Speaker 1: Just this one issue all I care about. Yeah, all right,

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Speaker 1: let's move on to goldfish. Surely you had a goldfish

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Speaker 1: at some point. I kind of forgot about that.

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Speaker 2: I definitely have had goldfish, and they definitely all died,

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Speaker 2: every single one of them. I probably would say I've

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Speaker 2: not had more than five goldfish, so it took me

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Speaker 2: that many lives to learn my lesson that I'm not

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Speaker 2: a good caregiver.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I was gonna say, this seems like

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Speaker 1: a bad choice for us. For one thing, I think

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Speaker 1: they're too dumb, not very conniving. Right. The only thing

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Speaker 1: they do is make our kids very briefly happy at fairs,

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Speaker 1: and then they die within days.

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Speaker 2: And then no one gets any joy from them. And

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Speaker 2: then you come home and they're floating, and you're like,

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Speaker 2: that's not that's not a relaxing fish.

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Speaker 1: That's a dead fish. That's a lesson in life. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: we all repeat that mistake. Well, anyway, it turns out

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Speaker 1: they can also cause financial trouble credit card fraud. Huh.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you're wondering, what the hell are you talking about? Now.

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Speaker 1: That's what we call Josh throwing a curveball. Now. I

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Speaker 1: don't think this is likely to happen to the average

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Speaker 1: fish owner, but let me break it down for you.

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Speaker 1: A famous YouTuber named Muta kami ro I may have

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Speaker 1: to replace that in post.

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Speaker 3: You can call him Maurice.

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Speaker 1: I can call Maurice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that was also an option, but I just wanted

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Speaker 3: to see you pronounce it.

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Speaker 1: Blane just made me pronounce it once. Fruit laughs. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna call them Maurice. Does he go by Maurice or

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Speaker 1: did we just decide?

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Speaker 3: I just saw reports aka Maurice and I was like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know how accurate that is, but wu takimuru.

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Speaker 1: I got closer that time. Okay. Anyway, So this guy Maurice,

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Speaker 1: he's known for live streaming his pet fish playing video games.

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Speaker 1: The account is rigged up to a motion tracking software

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Speaker 1: that registers his fish's swimming patterns as control inputs. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god. Yeah, you would think this wouldn't work, but

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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty, his fish actually beat the game Pokemon

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Speaker 1: Sapphire after a three ninety five hour run. Geez, how

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Speaker 1: did this person land on this particular thing? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but what like, is that a scientific breakthrough? I mean,

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Speaker 1: if so, we have not heard about it. Maybe we're

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Speaker 1: we're telling science right now. Yeah, but anyway, for reference,

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Speaker 1: a human gamer could finish it in about thirty hours,

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Speaker 1: so it's not Oh never mind, fish are stupid. They

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Speaker 1: suck at Pokemon. That fish is terrible at video games. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you're worried about the fish. By the way, Maurice

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Speaker 1: switches out his fish player every twelve hours for their health,

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Speaker 1: so he's on top of animal welfare here.

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Speaker 2: Oh good thing, he's letting them put in half a

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Speaker 2: day before before the shifts end.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, In twenty twenty three, the muta Kamara Maury's channel

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna stop even trying. Okay, yep, well streaming

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Speaker 1: this fish playing another Pokemon game, and about five hours

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Speaker 1: in the game crash while he was away, which gave

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Speaker 1: the fish complete unsupervised access to the owner's Nintendo switch.

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00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,679
Speaker 1: The fish swam over to the device's e shop, added

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Speaker 1: five hundred yen a little under four bucks, and in

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00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: the process exposed to his owner's credit card information to

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Speaker 1: the whole live stream. Oh wow. The fish then managed

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Speaker 1: to use some of his reward points to buy a

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Speaker 1: new avatar a man playing golf downloaded an N sixty

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Speaker 1: four emulator. Then the fish clicked over to PayPal, sent

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Speaker 1: a set up confirmation email, and then changed the accountant

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Speaker 1: name from Mutakimaru to roll Wah wah wahlahlahlahlah was this

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Speaker 1: and this was live streaming the entire time that is fascinating.

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Speaker 1: Seven hours it was happening before Maury's realized it and

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Speaker 1: shut it down.

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Speaker 2: This is the most fascinating thing I've ever heard in

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Speaker 2: my life, to be quite frank, I mean that's truly.

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Speaker 2: You Like, even just picturing the fish doing this is absurd.

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Speaker 2: I can't even picture it properly.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think it was probably not. I can't

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Speaker 1: believe I said. I think it had to have not

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Speaker 1: been purposeful, like I think what the motion capture like

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Speaker 1: the fish doesn't know what it's doing, but the system

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Speaker 1: has been set up so that its movements do certain things.

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Speaker 1: So it's just swimming around moving a cursor I think,

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Speaker 1: which is just clicking randomly on things. Those things happen.

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Speaker 1: We have a naysayer in our midst listeners. Looks like

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Speaker 1: we have a fish. Looks like we have a fish

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Speaker 1: denier amongst us a fish. Would that make you a

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Speaker 1: fish truther? I'm a fish I'm actually a fish truther.

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Speaker 2: And I actually should have said that before we even

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Speaker 2: agreed to do this podcast together.

430
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,880
Speaker 1: I'm a big time fish truther. You like that fish

431
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 1: do exactly what it was doing. I know Jaws is

432
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 1: a movie to me that's a real fish. I'm a

433
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 1: fish truther, So in your version, he purposefully opened to

434
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 1: paypole account. No, I think, I don't know. I mean,

435
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: maybe the fish by playing that guy.

436
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 2: I mean, i'd have to know, Like if the fish

437
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 2: are able to interpret what their goals need to be

438
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 2: in the game, I don't know. Do you think they're

439
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 2: just by happenstance they beat the game. I don't know,

440
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 2: by just swimming around and those physical choices just happened

441
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 2: to line up with the challenge of the game. I

442
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 2: guess I'd have to see it and see the fish

443
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 2: in action to decipher if I felt like that fish

444
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 2: was making calculated decisions. And I can't believe I just

445
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:30,440
Speaker 2: said that sentence, Josh.

446
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 1: We got a lot of good on account of contact

447
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 1: sentences to use at the top of this week's episode.

448
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: Use them all, Use every one of them, mashes, stack

449
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: them waterfall. Yeah. Yeah. The chaos stream lasted for seven

450
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: hours before he shut it down. He was able to

451
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: get his five hundred yen back. Unclear if his reward

452
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 1: points were refunded or how far and wide his credit

453
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 1: card information was right. Yeah, but this gave me an idea.

454
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 1: We'll set up a bunch of fish and hook them

455
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 1: up to our own motion tracking software and then set

456
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,679
Speaker 1: them up on some sports betting apps. Oh yeah, it

457
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: can be worse than us. No, that's all luck anyways. Right,

458
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 1: And we do things like bet on our favorite teams,

459
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: which people say you should never do. Yeah, man versus fish.

460
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: We'll do a live stream you versus a fish? Yeah?

461
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 1: I like this. Who wins the most? At least for

462
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl? Let's let a fish pick out? Ye,

463
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: who's gonna win? All right? Lane? Can we get someone

464
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: to work on that motion tracking software?

465
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 3: Out?

466
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 1: All right? I saved the best for last. How do

467
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 1: you feel about birds? I love birds?

468
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not an ornithologist. Is that the right word.

469
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: I'm not a bird watcher. But the older I get,

470
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 2: the more I respect birds.

471
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: So parrots specifically, fan of parent love parrots. That's my

472
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 1: one exception. It's look, I can't love everybody, Josh. During

473
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 1: my hundreds of hours of grueling research in search of

474
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,159
Speaker 1: our perfect pet slash mascot, I dove into Reddit naturally,

475
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 1: and I swam on down into the subreddit are backslash parrots.

476
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: That's the good alley way to get into And there

477
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: was one user there in the same boat as us.

478
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: He wrote, I'm looking for the perfect pet for me,

479
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: but thinking about parrots. What are some of the things

480
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,239
Speaker 1: people don't tell you before getting a parrot? What are

481
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:06,919
Speaker 1: you expecting to hear the answers?

482
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 2: Have you heard the noise of parrot makes no it's

483
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 2: the fucking worst. They're like squawk or whatever you want

484
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 2: to call it. It's it's jarring.

485
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 1: So the noisy, that's your main complaint? Too lit noisy.

486
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go noisy. Yeah, first comment. You're gonna be

487
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 1: surprised by this one. Good. They can literally masturbate, all right.

488
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 2: I didn't know it's going to be in the pro category.

489
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 2: I thought there's gonna be cons.

490
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,119
Speaker 1: Foot fetish is extremely common. Don't know whose feet yours

491
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: or it's.

492
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 2: And just to confirm, and uh, and just ask the question.

493
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 2: You said you got this off from a subreddit.

494
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, okayrect got it? Okay, I just want to know

495
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: the source. One reddit user referred to parrots as quote

496
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: eternal toddlers, while another referred to as African gray parrot,

497
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: one popular breed, as a three pound flying can opener.

498
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: Huh okay, I don't want to sell these birds short,

499
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: though they truly are incredible animals. Some species live up

500
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 1: to seventy years, which is grazy, Oh my god, because

501
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: that's at least how long this podcast will run. Yeah

502
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: for sure. Well, per our contract, we have to do

503
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: seventy years. The eternal toddler comment refers to their intelligence.

504
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: Some compare it to that of a four year old,

505
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 1: which I mean, that's not that impressive.

506
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 2: Honestly, a bird that has the brain of a four

507
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,120
Speaker 2: year old, Yeah, I mean I guess that is impressive, right,

508
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 2: Actually don't. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know how

509
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 2: to interpret that information.

510
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 1: Is that smarter or not smart?

511
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 2: I mean, it is a bird with a very small brain,

512
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 2: yet it has the intelligence of a four year old,

513
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,199
Speaker 2: which definitely has a much bigger brain, and it has

514
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 2: really long clause. So what is our expectation of birds?

515
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: They should be as smart as a twenty year old person.

516
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 2: Like what we what do we want out of these parents?

517
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: I want my birds to have the intelligence at least

518
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: of a high schooler, to be able to make you

519
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: dinner yeah yeah, or to solve like geometry problems or

520
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: a murder yeah, oh, to murder yeah, pull a trigger?

521
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 2: Don't you just really just want it on your shoulder

522
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 2: to be your friend walk around?

523
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, so luck like a pirate. Yes, parrots are

524
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 1: also extremely trainable. They can learn hundreds of words, so

525
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: we'd have another potential co host on our hands. Yes.

526
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: President Andrew Jackson reportedly trained his African gray to squawk profanities,

527
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: and the parrot had to be escorted out of its

528
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 1: owner's funeral due to persistent cursing. Yep, that's a plus.

529
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: I feel like I think that's pretty dope. The swear

530
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: words are merely a party trick. What's more useful? And

531
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: here we're starting to get into crimes. An alert parrot

532
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: for your drug operation? Uh little heads up? Yep. So

533
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 1: In twenty nineteen, a parrot in Brazil was taken into

534
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: custody after it attempted to tip off its owners to

535
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 1: a police raid. It cried, Mum, the police not sure

536
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: why this Brazilian parrot has a British accent. Mum, mum,

537
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 1: the police. Bang is in Mash. We mean bang is

538
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 1: in Mash police are here. They should have tott it

539
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: a code word and not to say the cop. That's

540
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: why I got arrested because they it had said bangers

541
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: and mash, Yeah, that parrot would be free today.

542
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 2: And it also so willingly said that because it has

543
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 2: no concept of the law anyways, so it didn't understand

544
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 2: the consequence of.

545
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 1: The police and also what police even are. I feel

546
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 1: like you've presented the defense for that parrot in court.

547
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 2: That's right, Yes, what do you know the consequence? Do

548
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,239
Speaker 2: you know what the ultimately would happen to it?

549
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know how long it was held

550
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: in custody, nor if it was tried. I do know

551
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: that an officer involved in the raid said, as soon

552
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 1: as the police got close, it started shouting, and oh,

553
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: here's this is a loyal parrot. So since it's a rest,

554
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: it kept quiet. Cops couldn't get him to say a

555
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: word yeah, to which one person in Reddit wrote, He's

556
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: a parrot, not a rat like it. Dope, snitches get stitches,

557
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,880
Speaker 1: you know what they say? That's right. My guess isn't

558
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: the owner of this parrot spent a lot of time

559
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: and effort training him, Because earlier this year, a lesser trained,

560
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: but just as cute parrot helped bring down a drugg

561
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: ring in Blackpool, England. Her name is Mango. And here's

562
00:27:55,480 --> 00:28:02,440
Speaker 1: a video that police found of Mango. I don't know

563
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: if you caught that, Rory, but Mango was saying two

564
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: for twenty five, which police claim is the street price

565
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 1: of cocaine.

566
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 2: Oh that's a way better deal than what I've been

567
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 2: what I've heard people they're getting on the plia out

568
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 2: on the fly of people are I mean, I don't know, uh,

569
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 2: never mind.

570
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: And in another video Mango said this, what was he doing?

571
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 3: He's hopping around with the money.

572
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: Oh he's got drug money and putting it in the

573
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: money counter.

574
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 3: I think he's helping out.

575
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: Oh Mango, all right. So thanks to Mango, fifteen people

576
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: were arrested in the drug bust, with sentences totally more

577
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: than one hundred and three years. I suspect this. I

578
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: didn't see this, but the videos got online. I think

579
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 1: in the cop for like, wait a second, I mean, don't.

580
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 2: These birds have the ability to throw their voices to

581
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,959
Speaker 2: sound exactly like a noise they hear pitch perfect, Like

582
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 2: if you were teaching a bird something, they could almost

583
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: say it back to you in your your voice.

584
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: Almost, can they? I think?

585
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 2: So, I don't want to fully commit to that answer,

586
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 2: and so I won't, and so I probably should have

587
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: not even brought it up.

588
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: So they do impressions like rich little. Is that what

589
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: you're saying.

590
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: I think a lot of them are very rich little lesque.

591
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: So what do you think? Is the parrot to the

592
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: parrot be our pet or we just have to accept

593
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: that there is no perfect crimealst mascot.

594
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:24,959
Speaker 2: I mean, if there's a pet parrot that's just going

595
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 2: to talk back and offer great, that's squawking.

596
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: I just can't deal with. I just can't do it. Well.

597
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: There are terms parrot breeders of America. If you've got

598
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: a parrot that doesn't squawk but sounds like rich Little

599
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: and has always wanted to host a podcast, send it

600
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 1: here care of Lane After the break, Lane's Games. Welcome

601
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 1: back to crime List today, Rory, we're ferret legging, the

602
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: very real endurance sport of shoving a ferret down your pants.

603
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 1: I've already started. Oh, I'm just kidding. That's not a

604
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: fair in my pants? I see you. Oh even honestly,

605
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: even more impressive. Oh Lane, what are we actually doing today?

606
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 1: In addition to racking up HR violations, Lane's Games.

607
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 3: Lane's Games today on this segment. I don't actually have

608
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 3: a game at all. Oh oh, I have a special

609
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 3: Q and.

610
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: A a special Q and a a.

611
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 3: Special Q and A with a special guest expert that

612
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 3: we were waiting for in this very moment that should

613
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 3: be hopping on pretty soon.

614
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 1: Ooh is it a parrot?

615
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 3: I don't know.

616
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 1: Maybe I hope it's a parrot. Look at Lane playing

617
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: games with us. Is it mango?

618
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 3: I wish it was. Well, I wish it was Mango.

619
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 1: Full out for Mango, Mango serving hard time.

620
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 3: I'll tell you a little bit about the guest. She's

621
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 3: twenty six years old. She lives in here in Chicago.

622
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 2: Oh oh, you weren't lying when you said you would

623
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 2: tell us a little bit about that A little bit.

624
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I still think it's a parent. For the record,

625
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: let's see.

626
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.

627
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: Sorry, have I guess what's happening? I mean, twenty six

628
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: years old? You're right? I mean now that we know

629
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: that parents can live to seventy Yeah, she'd just be

630
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 1: like a well, they have basically our life span, so

631
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: it's like a it will be a college student parent.

632
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: She's texting me now or her assistance texting me now.

633
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 1: It's definitely a parent or it's an animal some kind obviously,

634
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: but what other animal could possibly participate in a game?

635
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: That's what I would like to there. She is Rory. Look,

636
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: Oh no.

637
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 3: This is Shamrock.

638
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: Shamrock.

639
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Okay, yeah, Shamrock. SHAMROCK's my neighbor. She lives

640
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 3: in Chicago.

641
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: Oh my, Shamrock. Oh that works.

642
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's a really good point, Shamrock.

643
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: Shamrock, is there anything you want to do? You want

644
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: to ask us?

645
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: When you said Q and a lane, are we asking

646
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 2: Shamrock or Shamrock us?

647
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 3: Either way? If you have some questions for her, she

648
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 3: knows a lot about parrots.

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00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: Oh, Shamrock.

650
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 2: Do you feel if you were ever going to participate

651
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 2: in a criminal activity you would be on the side

652
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 2: of the criminal or on the side of justice.

653
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: That's what I thought.

654
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 2: I thought you'd give me sort of a Loss of

655
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 2: Raptor style response.

656
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 3: Josh, you have any questions for Shamrock.

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00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: Shamrock, what kind of bird are you? What if?

658
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 2: Just in a crystal clear voice, Shamrock was like, Rory,

659
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 2: I don't care for your stand up and I have

660
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 2: to live with that.

661
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 1: Rory, I'm more of a Dane cook parrot. I like Dane. Oh,

662
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 1: all right, have you heard my style? You might like it. So, Rory,

663
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 1: you want to describe Shamrock to the people who don't

664
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 1: have video.

665
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 2: So everyone who doesn't have video, you're missing out on

666
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 2: a wildly vibe Brent, green and yellow, really beautiful. I

667
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 2: see where Shamrock comes from. Beautiful parrot. And I also

668
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 2: like that this owner provides Shamrock with a great deal

669
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 2: of freedom. There's not a lot of birds you see

670
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 2: on top of the cage, but Shamrock has earned this freedom,

671
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 2: I can tell.

672
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 3: So SHAMROCK's a yellow naped Amazon parrot. Oh okay, and

673
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 3: holding the phone is her assistant Andrew.

674
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: Thank you, Andrew.

675
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 3: Andrew's a volunteer from the Greater Chicago Cage Bird Rescue.

676
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 3: An adoption, Oh, SHAMROCK's great. SHAMROCK's the only guest we've

677
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 3: ever had on this podcast.

678
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 1: It's to our first guest. Yeah, it's and this is

679
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: where it ends. We're setting quite a bar. All right,

680
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: thank you, Andrew.

681
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 3: Thank you, Andrew, Sure, thank you too.

682
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: So if you adopt Shamrock, we're twenty six. That means

683
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 1: if it were to live to eighty, it has another

684
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 1: is that fifty four years, so you would be held

685
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: in fifty four years. Well I'm forty five now, so

686
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: so your child will be inheriting that bird. That's exactly right.

687
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: Oh all right, thanks Lane, that was that was a

688
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 1: nice surprise. Thank you. I enjoyed my time with Shamrock,

689
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: same all right. Crimeless is a production of SmartLess Media,

690
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 1: Campsite Media and Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart Podcasts.

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00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 1: It's hosted by Rory Scovel and me Josh Dean. Our

692
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:47,720
Speaker 1: senior producer is Lane Rose. Emma Stimenov is our associate producer.

693
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:51,439
Speaker 1: This episode was written by Lane Rose and me Josh Dean.

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00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: We're sound designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support

695
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: from Ewan Letram Ewen. Mark McAdam composed our theme song.

696
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: The executive producers that came Upside Media are Vanessa Gregoriatis,

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00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: Matt Cher and me Josh Deans. The executive producers for

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00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 1: iHeart Podcasts and Big Money Players are Jack O'Brien, Lindsay Hoffman,

699
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 1: and Matt Appadoca. For s Martlow's Media, the executive producers

700
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,760
Speaker 1: are Will Arnette, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Richard Corson.

701
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: Bernie Kaminski is head of production. The associate producer is

702
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: Mattie McCann. A special thanks to our operations team, Ashley

703
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 1: Warren and Sabina Marra. Do you have a question, comment,

704
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 1: or confession for the Crimeless Team, Email us at crime

705
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: List at campsidmedia dot com and if you enjoyed crime List,

706
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: please rate and review the show wherever you get your podcasts.

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Speaker 1: It helps people find the show and also makes us

708
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Speaker 1: feel validated, unless you're mean, in which case keep it

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Speaker 1: to yourself. We'll see you next week. Crime List Nation