1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,160
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Carly, your favorite

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,480
Speaker 1: Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

3
00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:08,640
Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

4
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,400
Speaker 1: from our sponsors that keep the show alive. My husband

5
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:17,400
Speaker 1: cheated during our son's treatment, so I took everything we heard.

6
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,360
Speaker 1: My husband and I had three kids eight, six and two,

7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,200
Speaker 1: the oldest of which has cancer. The mistress has two

8
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,960
Speaker 1: kids four and twenty.

9
00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,640
Speaker 2: My husband and I had the have had the occasional

10
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,480
Speaker 2: conflict here and there, and while I acknowledge it can

11
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,080
Speaker 2: sometimes be a struggle, we generally got along well and

12
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,480
Speaker 2: always apologized by the end. By the way, this comes

13
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,720
Speaker 2: from Throwaway seven six, eight nine, and if you want

14
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,800
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

15
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,360
Speaker 2: Okay Storytime supperate it Dan.

16
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,440
Speaker 3: I'm Angie, I'm Riley.

17
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,480
Speaker 2: We're here to give good advice, goofy, but we don't

18
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,160
Speaker 2: have all the answers. We just know what we would

19
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,680
Speaker 2: do in this situation, So let us know what you

20
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,559
Speaker 2: would do in the comments. So Op says, though the

21
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,120
Speaker 2: conflicts we had were only occasional, they did sometimes feel

22
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,560
Speaker 2: like a lose lose situation because neither of us felt

23
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,720
Speaker 2: like our feelings were being heard to defense mechanisms and

24
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:02,440
Speaker 2: other triggers.

25
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:03,880
Speaker 4: I had asked several.

26
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,680
Speaker 2: Times if we could see a therapist and work out

27
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,120
Speaker 2: some better conflict resolution skills, and he always said he

28
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,960
Speaker 2: wanted to think about it, but never actually agreed. I

29
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 2: decided to attend individual therapy to work on my own

30
00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:18,560
Speaker 2: resolution skills. Despite this, we had what I perceived to

31
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,760
Speaker 2: be and otherwise pretty happy and loving relationship, full of

32
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:26,880
Speaker 2: laughter and connectedness. Unfortunately, this week, my husband unexpectedly told

33
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,840
Speaker 2: me he has fallen out of love with me and

34
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,840
Speaker 2: that he wants a divorce on my birthday. He said

35
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,600
Speaker 2: it was because of how we handle conflict together, and

36
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,119
Speaker 2: he's known for a couple of years that it was inevitable.

37
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 2: I was completely blindsided by this because I would often

38
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,240
Speaker 2: periodically check in to see if he was happy, and

39
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,400
Speaker 2: he had always said yes. He said brutal things about

40
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,320
Speaker 2: dreading being in the room with me and being intimate

41
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:55,720
Speaker 2: with me. I was absolutely shattered. He became so harsh

42
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,040
Speaker 2: and cold that it was like he was a different person.

43
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,280
Speaker 2: He has never talked to me like that in sixteen years.

44
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,840
Speaker 2: He said he won a fifty to fifty custody of

45
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,480
Speaker 2: my kids, and I was crushed because.

46
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,760
Speaker 4: My babies are my entire life.

47
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,440
Speaker 2: Friends and family were concerned that he was cheating. I

48
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,720
Speaker 2: worked twelve hour shifts and rely on my husband to

49
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,280
Speaker 2: do school pickups, but lately he was frequently working through lunches,

50
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,880
Speaker 2: which left my parents to pick up the kids. He

51
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,680
Speaker 2: also worked late and would delay picking up my kids

52
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,040
Speaker 2: from their graduations.

53
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,240
Speaker 4: Nope, he also.

54
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 2: Worked late and would delay picking my kids up from

55
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,360
Speaker 2: their grandparents' house for a couple of hours. I was

56
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,200
Speaker 2: always so appreciative of how hard he worked for our family.

57
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 2: I didn't want to believe it, but when I checked

58
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 2: his phone, I discovered everything.

59
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,399
Speaker 4: Lots of photos from both of them.

60
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,560
Speaker 5: Videos of them having spicy sleep at work, videos of

61
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,880
Speaker 5: them having spices sleep in hotels, face selfies of my

62
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:55,400
Speaker 5: husband waiting in my son's chemo room, conversations about arguments

63
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,040
Speaker 5: my husband and I had, and the mistress responding and

64
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,520
Speaker 5: saying that I had to get an.

65
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,280
Speaker 2: Effing cou and that she was happy he was able

66
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,440
Speaker 2: to put it back on me. I screenshotted everything and

67
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,839
Speaker 2: sent them to myself before I confronted him. Turns out

68
00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:09,720
Speaker 2: he is in love with his mistress and wants to

69
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,920
Speaker 2: be with her. He said it's complicated and that she

70
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,600
Speaker 2: has not told her husband about the affair. It's been

71
00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,919
Speaker 2: going on for over a year. My son was literally

72
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,120
Speaker 2: diagnosed with his kid September, and I'm honestly sick to

73
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,639
Speaker 2: my stomach knowing what he has done throughout that time.

74
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,839
Speaker 2: Despite it all, I am completely devastated to lose him.

75
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,239
Speaker 2: His conversations with her look like a completely different person.

76
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,720
Speaker 2: Never in a million years would I have guessed that

77
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,760
Speaker 2: that was him. I sent him away to sleep in

78
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,040
Speaker 2: his work office that night, but the following day he

79
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,200
Speaker 2: called and said he wants to be with his kids

80
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,040
Speaker 2: and be at the house indefinitely until he finally is

81
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,880
Speaker 2: a divorce. He has a right to be in his

82
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,680
Speaker 2: own home, but being around him has been making me

83
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:52,640
Speaker 2: physically ill. I am absolutely miserable, clueless on where to start,

84
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,720
Speaker 2: and heartbroken watching him leave the house and knowing where

85
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 2: he is going. I've told him that legally I am

86
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,680
Speaker 2: still his wife and that I do not want him

87
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,320
Speaker 2: talking to his mistress at all while he's under my

88
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,320
Speaker 2: roof or around the kids. He has agreed to do that,

89
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,240
Speaker 2: but he has been so deceptive that it doesn't mean

90
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,520
Speaker 2: much to me anymore. I can't imagine being stuck in

91
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,440
Speaker 2: this situation for months or longer. He even had the

92
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,080
Speaker 2: nerve to ask me if his mistress can be around

93
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:23,360
Speaker 2: my kids. I am so furious, so sad, so distressed,

94
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,599
Speaker 2: and just feel like I want to pass away. My

95
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,800
Speaker 2: kids don't know what's going on yet, but they have

96
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,680
Speaker 2: been sensing that I've been distressed. I'm trying to hold

97
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,560
Speaker 2: it together and lean on family and friends. I'm also

98
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,680
Speaker 2: super stressed out about losing our home. My husband is

99
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,880
Speaker 2: wanting to sell it, and my parents have mentioned they

100
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,360
Speaker 2: may be able to buy him out. I haven't told

101
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,520
Speaker 2: my husband this because I need to figure out how

102
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,480
Speaker 2: that might work, and I don't want to make his

103
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,679
Speaker 2: life any easier at this point. My credit is meh

104
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,599
Speaker 2: and interest rates are so high, though that I'm afraid

105
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,599
Speaker 2: I won't be able to keep my low interest rate

106
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,680
Speaker 2: from when I bought that home a few years ago

107
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,640
Speaker 2: if they were to buy him out. It's all just

108
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,400
Speaker 2: too much to lose at once. I can't eat, I've

109
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,720
Speaker 2: lost ten pounds in one week. It can't sleep.

110
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,760
Speaker 4: I've never been so depressed in my entire life. In

111
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,240
Speaker 4: one week.

112
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,920
Speaker 2: Almost every single aspect of my life has been threatened.

113
00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:12,839
Speaker 2: Someone tell me it gets better, because I'm barely hanging

114
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,159
Speaker 2: on and we do have an update, But please, I'm

115
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,080
Speaker 2: sure it gets better.

116
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:20,240
Speaker 3: It does. I've read stories whenever people break up and

117
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,800
Speaker 3: it works out for them. Yeah, hang in there. There

118
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,000
Speaker 3: is a rock bottom. There's a literal rock bottom.

119
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,160
Speaker 4: You're looking for, hope, terrible thing that's happened to you.

120
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,880
Speaker 3: Oh my god, guys, how did you guys deal with breakups?

121
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:32,880
Speaker 3: Put it in the comments.

122
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:38,560
Speaker 4: I'd love to see people cheating situations. I mean, it's

123
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:39,360
Speaker 4: got to get better.

124
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,760
Speaker 2: There's no way that your life around a terrible person

125
00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:43,839
Speaker 2: is the best it's gonna be.

126
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,920
Speaker 3: Oh no, it will get better. It will get better.

127
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna suck for a while, but you will

128
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,840
Speaker 2: get over it and you will get custody of your

129
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:54,080
Speaker 2: children because hey, what what.

130
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,880
Speaker 3: If that mistress comes around? I have a baseball bat

131
00:05:58,880 --> 00:05:59,960
Speaker 3: with her name on it.

132
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:00,320
Speaker 2: Haha.

133
00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:02,760
Speaker 4: There you go, there you go. Do you have an

134
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,799
Speaker 4: update on dear mistress?

135
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,880
Speaker 2: Over one month later, it's been a few weeks since

136
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,120
Speaker 2: I found out about your affair with my husband. I

137
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,560
Speaker 2: recently read the messages you shared with my husband during

138
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,000
Speaker 2: the most vulnerable and painful conflict of my life. I

139
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,520
Speaker 2: saw what you wrote about how you felt I should

140
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,680
Speaker 2: get an fing clue and that you were happy that

141
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,039
Speaker 2: my husband was able to put it back on me.

142
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,599
Speaker 2: I would like to share with you what exactly was

143
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,080
Speaker 2: on the line during that conversation and why I was

144
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 2: so shocked and devastated by it. In an instant, everything

145
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 2: I have loved for the last sixteen years was taken

146
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,200
Speaker 2: from me when he mentioned divorce. It was a complete blindside.

147
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,440
Speaker 2: That word had never come up in this entire length

148
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,080
Speaker 2: of our relationship together. I'm not blind to the fact

149
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,919
Speaker 2: that conflict was sometimes a struggle. It was something we

150
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,440
Speaker 2: were working on, and we regularly made an effort to

151
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:56,200
Speaker 2: try to listen and apologize. I was also prioritizing therapy

152
00:06:56,279 --> 00:07:00,200
Speaker 2: to help improve our conflicts resolution skills and identify any

153
00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,760
Speaker 2: unhealthy defense mechanisms that we had. Whenever I asked him

154
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,640
Speaker 2: to try therapy, he always said he wanted to think

155
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,760
Speaker 2: about it, but ultimately he never did. Outside of that,

156
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,640
Speaker 2: we had what I had perceived to be an overall

157
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,240
Speaker 2: happy relationship full of love, friendship, and laughter. When I

158
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,720
Speaker 2: was uncertain how he was feeling. I would ask him,

159
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 2: and he always said he was happy and that he

160
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,800
Speaker 2: loved me. It is clear now that he was lying,

161
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,520
Speaker 2: but at the time all I had was his word

162
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,080
Speaker 2: and his actions to go off. Of the day he

163
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,240
Speaker 2: mentioned divorce, I was suddenly facing the potential to lose

164
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,920
Speaker 2: the love of my life, my best friend, my home,

165
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,800
Speaker 2: and the livelihood of my three babies with no warning.

166
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 2: I'm sure you can imagine how that might feel. Imagine

167
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,160
Speaker 2: now that your life is crumbling before you, and then

168
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,160
Speaker 2: you are left in darkness for days, uncertain whether it

169
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,240
Speaker 2: all lives or ends. This is how I felt during

170
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,440
Speaker 2: the conversation that my husband retold you. I was terrified

171
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,120
Speaker 2: of losing my family. I couldn't eat or sleep. All

172
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,280
Speaker 2: I thought about was what it meant for my kids

173
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,680
Speaker 2: and my sixteen year relationship. Each day that went by,

174
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,320
Speaker 2: my husband repeated that he was too tired to talk.

175
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,440
Speaker 2: After a couple of days of this, I needed answers

176
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,280
Speaker 2: for the sake of my family. See that you wrote

177
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,200
Speaker 2: how aggravated you were that my emotions and feelings needed

178
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,160
Speaker 2: to be addressed immediately for my own relief.

179
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 4: Sincerely, I hope.

180
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,560
Speaker 2: You never have to go through the terror of this

181
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,240
Speaker 2: same ordeal. Never in my life have I felt such

182
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 2: overwhelming pain and sadness ever, but thank you for your input. Anyway,

183
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,960
Speaker 2: I am writing this letter from one woman to another.

184
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:32,200
Speaker 6: Now.

185
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,240
Speaker 2: My husband made a choice to be unfaithful in our marriage.

186
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,280
Speaker 2: He is the one that chose to violate that promise

187
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,000
Speaker 2: and I always will hold him.

188
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,199
Speaker 4: Accountable for that.

189
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,240
Speaker 2: That being said, you should also know that your affair

190
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,839
Speaker 2: with him has destroyed an entire family. My sons are

191
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,200
Speaker 2: sensing the distress in the air and have been asking

192
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,560
Speaker 2: where their dad is. They wait to eat dinner with

193
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,200
Speaker 2: him until their food gets cold because they want to

194
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,439
Speaker 2: eat as a family. They have been frequently asking why

195
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,000
Speaker 2: he is so late. I also rely on my husband

196
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,680
Speaker 2: to pick up the kids from school on the days

197
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:03,800
Speaker 2: that I work, and have noticed that lately he has

198
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,120
Speaker 2: had to work through lunches and stay late, which left

199
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,240
Speaker 2: my older parents to have to pick them up from

200
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,440
Speaker 2: school and take care of them for hours longer than

201
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,200
Speaker 2: they expected to while the boys waited for the dad.

202
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,320
Speaker 2: And I reading that, remembering that some of the videos

203
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,720
Speaker 2: of them having spicy sleep were taken at work.

204
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,760
Speaker 3: Yup, that's why I was there so late. He was

205
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,000
Speaker 3: layingsome pipe was working all right. Janitor said, Hey, we

206
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,800
Speaker 3: need someone to help us lay some pipe for our

207
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,600
Speaker 3: new water system, and he said, sign me up. Oh

208
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,520
Speaker 3: my gosh, I know how to lay pipe.

209
00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:36,000
Speaker 4: Getting into the movie business.

210
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,320
Speaker 2: Now I know why he was always late, But they don't.

211
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,120
Speaker 2: The kids don't understand why. The oldest son is also

212
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:48,400
Speaker 2: going through chemo treatments and pending assessments for autism. He

213
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,400
Speaker 2: doesn't respond well to change, and we have been very

214
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,160
Speaker 2: concerned with how this news will affect his condition and recovery.

215
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:59,160
Speaker 2: If he relapses after the situation, you should know that

216
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,280
Speaker 2: I will blame you for it. My two year old

217
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,400
Speaker 2: has been crying almost constantly and clinging to us as

218
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 2: we try to leave. He is a baby and was

219
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,400
Speaker 2: under a year old when you started this, but they

220
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,160
Speaker 2: pick up on more than you think. My six year

221
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,280
Speaker 2: old asked why his dad wasn't there in the morning,

222
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,160
Speaker 2: and I had to lie to him and tell him

223
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,360
Speaker 2: that he was working early.

224
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,680
Speaker 4: I also want to thank you.

225
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,320
Speaker 2: For the lovely surprise of realizing that I needed to

226
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,320
Speaker 2: make an appointment to check for STDs.

227
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,880
Speaker 4: As a grown married adults.

228
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,880
Speaker 2: My husband has been intimate with me throughout your entire affair.

229
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,800
Speaker 2: I know you are also married, and so it's safe

230
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,120
Speaker 2: to assume that you have also been intimate with your

231
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,200
Speaker 2: husband all this time too. I just don't know why

232
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,160
Speaker 2: you wouldn't rather use the strength of your womanhood to

233
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:47,200
Speaker 2: further your sisters. Instead, you have chosen the cowardly root

234
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,560
Speaker 2: of tearing other women down to further your own ends.

235
00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:53,680
Speaker 2: You know that he is a married man, and.

236
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,679
Speaker 4: You laugh about it.

237
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,800
Speaker 2: He just had a baby, and he has a wife

238
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,560
Speaker 2: and three kids. I just don't understand what kind of

239
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,360
Speaker 2: self respecting woman would do something like this. You have

240
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,400
Speaker 2: caused me so much pain and sorrow. I could never

241
00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,600
Speaker 2: do this to another human being. You should tell your

242
00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:11,760
Speaker 2: husband before I.

243
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 4: Do it for you. Oh there's a second update, dude.

244
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:16,800
Speaker 6: This letter.

245
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,880
Speaker 3: I have never heard a letter so devastating before.

246
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was so thorough, yeap and to the point

247
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,800
Speaker 2: and everything everything.

248
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,120
Speaker 3: But like I was the woman that cheated on your.

249
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:35,319
Speaker 2: Friend, I should say sorry she read the letter, because

250
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,920
Speaker 2: one thing about this is that it is long.

251
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,480
Speaker 3: But well, I mean, I don't think mistress really for

252
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,280
Speaker 3: the mistress. It was more for Hopie.

253
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, she probably, I don't even know if she sent it.

254
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,160
Speaker 3: She put on Reddit. She probably sent her a link.

255
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,319
Speaker 4: Yeah right, I mean, we're about to find out in

256
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,079
Speaker 4: the second update.

257
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:55,000
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, broh.

258
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:54,400
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

259
00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:57,600
Speaker 2: So this second update is from fifteen months later. First

260
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,760
Speaker 2: and foremost, my son is official answer free. He rang

261
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,120
Speaker 2: the bell of chemo completion at the end of twenty

262
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,120
Speaker 2: twenty four. He is healthy and living a normal childhood

263
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,080
Speaker 2: now with the siblings. I am truly so grateful. I

264
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,600
Speaker 2: took the advice of many on here and got the

265
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,040
Speaker 2: best attorney in town, called multiple other high talent ones

266
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,360
Speaker 2: as well to get consultations, as I was told it

267
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,920
Speaker 2: would then be a conflict of interest for them to

268
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,440
Speaker 2: work with my husband at that point. Interesting, I filed

269
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,680
Speaker 2: for a divorce in August twenty twenty four, and the

270
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:30,560
Speaker 2: divorce was final in November. My attorney told me everything

271
00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,959
Speaker 2: to say to my ex and was a secret ghostwriter

272
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 2: of my paperwork. He never even knew that I had

273
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,720
Speaker 2: an attorney. I told my ex at the time that

274
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,320
Speaker 2: I was trying to puzzle through the best housing scenario

275
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,120
Speaker 2: for our kids. My oldest child was still going through

276
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 2: his chemo treatments and is also autistic, so he doesn't

277
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,400
Speaker 2: adjust well to change I knew if we sold the house,

278
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,840
Speaker 2: the boys would lose their childhood home and also change

279
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,480
Speaker 2: the schools, which would be rough on them. By the

280
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,640
Speaker 2: grace of God, my ex voluntarily offered to walk away

281
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,720
Speaker 2: from the house and forego hundreds of thousands of dollars

282
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,520
Speaker 2: of equity in the home if I paid off his debts.

283
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,040
Speaker 2: He had maybe thirty K in debt and a car payment,

284
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,679
Speaker 2: so my incredible parents helped me pay him off, and

285
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,960
Speaker 2: we essentially bought him out of his portion of the

286
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,800
Speaker 2: house while still keeping my low interest rate from the

287
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,520
Speaker 2: time we purchased. My ex didn't have a hint of

288
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,240
Speaker 2: remorse up until this point, but I think he finally

289
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,680
Speaker 2: realized the effect all of this would have on his children.

290
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,760
Speaker 2: He was also heavy in his affair fog and probably

291
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,520
Speaker 2: just wanted to wash his hands of me as fast

292
00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:30,360
Speaker 2: as possible, So when he offered to walk from the house,

293
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,760
Speaker 2: that was the time I ran to get an attorney

294
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,640
Speaker 2: and make sure it was done correctly. We talked to

295
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,320
Speaker 2: title companies at first, but the attorney told me it

296
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,080
Speaker 2: was not necessary to do that. My ex could sign

297
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:46,160
Speaker 2: an interspousal transfer deed along with our stipulated judgment and

298
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,280
Speaker 2: the house would be legally mine. My ex and the

299
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:53,200
Speaker 2: affair partner are still together. He has told my kids

300
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,400
Speaker 2: that he has a girlfriend and plans to move in

301
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,839
Speaker 2: with her and my kids in April. I have the

302
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,319
Speaker 2: kids in weekly therapy and they are doing well with it.

303
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:03,839
Speaker 2: My ex decided that he didn't actually want fifty to

304
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,040
Speaker 2: fifty custody and I have seventy percent custody of them,

305
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,199
Speaker 2: so my ex essentially gets them every other weekend and

306
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:13,760
Speaker 2: one random overnight weeknight a week. That was his idea.

307
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,080
Speaker 2: It was hard to be away from my babies, but

308
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,440
Speaker 2: I tried to remind myself they were safe and happy

309
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,440
Speaker 2: with their dad, and used that time to focus on myself.

310
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 2: He also pays me a large amount of child support

311
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,480
Speaker 2: every month because of this requested custody arrangement. I'm not

312
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,040
Speaker 2: sure he ever realized this, but it is very helpful.

313
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 2: I have revamped my home and redecorated it to make

314
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,640
Speaker 2: it my sanctuary. I absolutely love it. My ex is

315
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 2: renting an apartment in a cheaper part of town. The

316
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,560
Speaker 2: affair partner's husband is now aware of the circumstances and

317
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,040
Speaker 2: they are in the process of completing their divorce.

318
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,640
Speaker 4: I am personally doing very well now.

319
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,400
Speaker 2: I lost a significant amount of weight and go to

320
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,359
Speaker 2: the gym regularly.

321
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,920
Speaker 4: I also go to church and therapy every week.

322
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,040
Speaker 2: I have heavily poured into my self growth and have

323
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,240
Speaker 2: become a completely different person, full of peace and contentment.

324
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,080
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I bet yeah, dude, being with Jesus

325
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,600
Speaker 3: during this time, Oh my gosh, I can only imagine

326
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,600
Speaker 3: the type of growth you've had, because like the Jesus

327
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,280
Speaker 3: is big on like love your enemies. Oh yeah, I

328
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 3: bet you love your husband even more than before you

329
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,120
Speaker 3: were married.

330
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:18,840
Speaker 4: Sure.

331
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,400
Speaker 2: I also regularly invest in beauty treatments that make me

332
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:26,360
Speaker 2: feel happy, like hairs, nails, lashes, and my confidence has

333
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,080
Speaker 2: never been.

334
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,240
Speaker 3: Higher, honestly, really good. That's great because I know I've

335
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,760
Speaker 3: heard some women like they don't really work on the

336
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,120
Speaker 3: way they look or like things like that, And that's

337
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,680
Speaker 3: not a bad thing. But like it just the fact

338
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,320
Speaker 3: that you're not like keeping up with yourself or like

339
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,760
Speaker 3: taking that time to let you know the fun, have

340
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:49,840
Speaker 3: fun or whatever, it really chomps at like your your

341
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 3: confidence at For a guy, I have to be competitive.

342
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,600
Speaker 3: If I'm not in a competitive like field or anything, Yeah,

343
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,960
Speaker 3: it chips away my confidence because it's like I don't

344
00:15:59,040 --> 00:15:59,840
Speaker 3: know that that's what I have.

345
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,200
Speaker 2: My exsess still tries to trigger me and speaks in

346
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 2: a condescending tone on a regular basis. I took the

347
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,320
Speaker 2: advice of some people on here in Gray Rock the

348
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,720
Speaker 2: crap out of him. He truly doesn't know what to

349
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 2: do with himself anymore. It's like I've pulled an unu

350
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,360
Speaker 2: reverse and he can't process it. Between my mental growth

351
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,200
Speaker 2: and my physical changes, he always looks visibly confused.

352
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 4: On the bright side, the.

353
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 2: Affair partner gained a bunch of weight, and it has

354
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,720
Speaker 2: been fun to hear people's commentary on that. Normally I'm

355
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,120
Speaker 2: a total girls girl, but after the way she treated me,

356
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,760
Speaker 2: I will secretly relish that I decided it was important

357
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,600
Speaker 2: to keep conversations with my kids regarding my excess relationship

358
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 2: with the a fair partner age appropriate.

359
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:39,920
Speaker 4: They don't know about.

360
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 2: The way the relationship started, but if they are older

361
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 2: and they ever ask, I will be honest with them.

362
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 4: I am now dating someone new.

363
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,040
Speaker 2: It's been a little scary to be back out there,

364
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 2: but I'm trying to trust in time, consistency, emotional intelligence,

365
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,080
Speaker 2: and high effort. You all deserve the same. Truly, I

366
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 2: am so grateful for every single one of you. I

367
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 2: was self harming for some time, but I saw a

368
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,200
Speaker 2: psychiatrist and started some meds and it has changed my life.

369
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,120
Speaker 2: The darkness gets easier. My loves hang in there and

370
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,359
Speaker 2: message me if any of you ever need anything.

371
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,320
Speaker 4: God bless you all.

372
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, that I mean, it gets better. Earlier we

373
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 3: were like.

374
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,440
Speaker 4: Doesn't get any better here we are, but got answers.

375
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:21,640
Speaker 3: The reason it got better is because one, you invested

376
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 3: in yourself, yes, and really grew. And like I heard

377
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,560
Speaker 3: a quote it was like, what happened to you isn't

378
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 3: your responsibility, It's how you grow from it is your responsibility,

379
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,640
Speaker 3: which to a lot of things that happened to people

380
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 3: are very unfair, but that's your responsibility. Is how you

381
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 3: move from that. Yeah, and it sucks and it's one

382
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 3: of the worst thing about life. But also I think

383
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 3: it's a two edged sword. One you grow and then

384
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,040
Speaker 3: two you can reach out to people who are also

385
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 3: going through this and shows support.

386
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's and she's doing exactly that.

387
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,240
Speaker 3: So, like, I've been in a bad relationship and I

388
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 3: know what that looks like. If I ever seen one

389
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,920
Speaker 3: in that I could be like, hey, this is my experience, exactly.

390
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,200
Speaker 3: You don't deserve to be in there.

391
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 4: Exactly.

392
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,120
Speaker 2: It's very easy to fall into bad habits and meet

393
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 2: people and be in relationships that are the exact same

394
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,160
Speaker 2: as your old one bad in the same exact way.

395
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 2: So good on you for doing the complete opposite, which

396
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,760
Speaker 2: is take care of your Yeah, exactly. So OPI's responding

397
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 2: to the question, is Opie's exes family is still present

398
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 2: in the children's lives. Obie says, my ex occasionally takes

399
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 2: them to see his mom, who has started to have

400
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,919
Speaker 2: some memory problems, but sadly, he was never great about

401
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 2: calling or making plans. She was so upset when she

402
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 2: found out about the affair that she wanted to change

403
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,120
Speaker 2: her trust to my name. I had to convince her

404
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 2: not to do that. I was pretty close with his mom,

405
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 2: so I still talk to her here and there. She

406
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 2: is my kid's grandmother and.

407
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:49,200
Speaker 4: A sweet lady.

408
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,720
Speaker 2: Opie explains more about people's commentary on the affair partner's

409
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 2: weight kating. Opie says, sure the weight comments, specifically, we're

410
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,880
Speaker 2: from friends who knew about the cheating and had seen

411
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,160
Speaker 2: pictures of her at the start of the affair. Once

412
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,120
Speaker 2: my ex started posting her, people started messaging me saying

413
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,919
Speaker 2: she clearly had gained a lot of weight. I just

414
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 2: laughed and shrugged it off. But yeah, it looks like

415
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,400
Speaker 2: she has gained forty or fifty pounds. I've literally seen

416
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:17,439
Speaker 2: that girl's freaking private parts from all her super fun pigs,

417
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,199
Speaker 2: so I remember it. My ex and I had a

418
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 2: ton of mutual friends, and so even though I didn't

419
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 2: follow his posts and stories anymore, our friends had a

420
00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,520
Speaker 2: tendency to tell me about them or send them to me.

421
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,120
Speaker 2: One of my favorites that comes to mind is when

422
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 2: a mutual friend messaged me a photo and said, wait,

423
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, is this who he left you for?

424
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 4: I thought this was his mom.

425
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,159
Speaker 2: Another time, my heavily accented, elderly baber brought me tomatoes

426
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 2: and told me that she saw the girl waiting in

427
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,240
Speaker 2: the car the day he was moving out, and that

428
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 2: my neighbor.

429
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 4: Gave her the biggest stinkuy.

430
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 2: Then then she said, in her English accent, ugly ugly

431
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 2: girl and love me an angry old lady.

432
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,360
Speaker 4: And that's the end of that story.

433
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 3: Yeah. Best. Then it's like, you know, when a kid's

434
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 3: movie ends with like a dance scene, this is like

435
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,679
Speaker 3: an adult movie. And then with like a stinky from

436
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 3: an old lady. I'm a lovely old lady.

437
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 6: It's like lady.

438
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 3: It has the same effect on me.

439
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

440
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 4: to the next one.

441
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 3: I left my husband even though he's sick because he's

442
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,159
Speaker 3: draining me in.

443
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 4: Sickness and health came with conditions.

444
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 3: Hi thirty two, female Luisa. I've been married to John

445
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 3: forty eight mil four approximately two and a half years.

446
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 3: We've been together for five years. I have a son,

447
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 3: Carlos fifteen mail from a previous relationship, and we all

448
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 3: live together in a rented suplex. By the way, this

449
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 3: comes from Successful Dirt seventy two. If you want to

450
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 3: speaking own stories, go to the our slash okay stories.

451
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 3: I'm sub Reddit, I'm Riley, I'm Angie, and we're here

452
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,159
Speaker 3: to give goodvice. Goofully. We don't know that much, but

453
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 3: if you guys have anything you'd like to add to

454
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 3: the story, please put in the comics down below and

455
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 3: I'll read them. Opie says how the issue. John has

456
00:20:55,640 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 3: a mystery medical issue that causes seizures, passing out, and

457
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 3: even memory loss very rarely, and it does come back eventually.

458
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 3: I've been helping with him since it started about a

459
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 3: year ago. Every issue that started to take place prior

460
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 3: to his health problems, which eventually spiraled into his health

461
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 3: frenzy began small. I didn't think much of it at

462
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 3: the time, and it continued to grow and become a

463
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 3: much bigger problem on a much greater scale. It began

464
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 3: with the truck purchase. I helped him and supported my

465
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 3: husband with a self employed business opportunity that he was

466
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 3: highly interested in at the time, getting it set up

467
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 3: and running, where the purchase of this vehicle was part

468
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 3: of the process. Due to his low credit, he had

469
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 3: the finances for it, we had to use my credit.

470
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 3: We settled on the verbal understanding slash agreement that we

471
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 3: would keep the truck under my credit for one year,

472
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 3: giving him time to better his score, and then refinance

473
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 3: it on his name so I could remove my name

474
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 3: from the vehicle. Moving forward, leaving the dealership, I was

475
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 3: laid as the owner and my husband as the co owner.

476
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 3: Fast forward, John started falling short with payments, so I

477
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 3: had to front the money so I would be penalized

478
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 3: since it was under my name in credit. He missed payments,

479
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 3: lied about making payments, which all led to me finding

480
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 3: out about the vehicle being repossessed. Let me be clear,

481
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 3: he never told me the truth about this matter. I

482
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 3: actually called the financial service company to inquire about the

483
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 3: truck's payments since I wasn't getting answers from my husband,

484
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 3: and that's when they informed me about the repossession and

485
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 3: the resale at auction. My husband's excuse the entire time

486
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 3: I asked where the truck was was that it was

487
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 3: at the mechanics at that time. The truck did have

488
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 3: some electrical issues, so I believed him. He had nothing

489
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 3: to say when I confronted him on this matter and

490
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 3: offered no plan to make it right. Only ridiculous excuses.

491
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:01,479
Speaker 3: Are we divorcing? I think so continually lying, hiding the truth,

492
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 3: not owning up to what you're saying, O car Adie.

493
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 3: To repair the damage he caused, I worked out a

494
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,159
Speaker 3: deal with the finance company that cut the price of

495
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 3: what was still remaining and owed on the truck with

496
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 3: the lowest monthly prize for him to pay back each

497
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,399
Speaker 3: month on the due date of his choosing All this

498
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 3: information was discussed carefully with him before I confirmed with

499
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 3: the finance company. He did all right at first, but

500
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 3: then I had to stay on top of him each

501
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 3: month and demanded that the payments would be sent to

502
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 3: me so I can ensure he was actually paying them.

503
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,920
Speaker 3: He eventually stopped giving me the payments, replying with excuses

504
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 3: about not having enough money or why he couldn't pay.

505
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 3: Let me add that my husband works two jobs and

506
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 3: is a retired veteran, and is a retired veteran medically

507
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 3: retired who does receive a percentage of disability and retirement pay,

508
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 3: so he makes money consistently and more than me. I

509
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,959
Speaker 3: will add that he is not received the full one

510
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 3: hundred percent them ount, but close to it. The next

511
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 3: event he affected us was The next event he affected

512
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 3: was the rent on our previous apartment and our current

513
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 3: house that we are renting. We lived at a apartment

514
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,360
Speaker 3: complex which was in my name, with my mother as

515
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 3: a co signer. Because my credit got us to place,

516
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 3: we had to use my income, my husband's income, and

517
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 3: my mom's in order to show that we could financially

518
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 3: qualify the sole purpose of my mom co signing was

519
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,280
Speaker 3: to meet the complex's requirements and the tennis must show

520
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 3: three extra rent. The monthly rent would be taken care

521
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 3: of with my husband's via pay and our income. We

522
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 3: lived there for four years, and towards the last year

523
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 3: and a half, I got some rude surprises and learned

524
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 3: and my husband didn't pay rent and almost got us evicted,

525
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 3: not once, but twice and almost three times. He never

526
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 3: communicated further about this matter and I had to fight

527
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 3: find out the hard way, getting some notices and knocks

528
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 3: on my door before this all happened. Let me note

529
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 3: that I had given him endless support, advice, and tons

530
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 3: of resources throughout this entire process. During our last year

531
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 3: at the apartment, we moved out mid May twenty twenty

532
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 3: five into our current house. We worked out a payment

533
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 3: plan between each other to move out of our apartment

534
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 3: two months early before lease ended. The landlord for the

535
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 3: new rental would only give us an additional two week

536
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 3: period to move in, and we didn't want to be

537
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,679
Speaker 3: stuck without a new place to go. It took me

538
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 3: months to find the new house. He was unable to

539
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 3: work with our two month move out timeframe, and it

540
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 3: made more sense to go this route as we would

541
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 3: have paid more to break our release early. Without sufficient

542
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 3: funds for the new rental, a plan was in place

543
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 3: to balance both places for the next two months. I

544
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 3: checked in multiple times to reconfirm that everything was on schedule,

545
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: and he reassured me he was kin towing to make payments.

546
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 3: But do we believe this guy? And oh yeah, he's

547
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 3: not doing it, Tom and Tom McGann. He's proven you wrong.

548
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 2: We're getting evicted, getting evicted almost three times because of

549
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 2: your failure to pay. You can't just say, oh, yeah,

550
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 2: I'll pay and expect me to believe you.

551
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, I got your baby.

552
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 1: What.

553
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 4: No, that's like me saying I'm gonna be on time

554
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,879
Speaker 4: for something. You think you're gonna believe me.

555
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,479
Speaker 2: Only a smart person would not believe me.

556
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,199
Speaker 3: Fast forward, I received letters stating that we needed to

557
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 3: evacuate the premises by an impossible deadline and that nearly

558
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 3: four thousand dollars was owed to the complex. Thank goodness,

559
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 3: we had already moved everything into a new place. In

560
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 3: front of my husband about this matter, he declared he

561
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 3: had paid, was paying, and would look into why I

562
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 3: was receiving these letters. Time passed with no word from him.

563
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 3: More time passed and he provided no real anne, so

564
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 3: regarding the issue, having to take things to my own hands.

565
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,959
Speaker 3: I eventually got the records of his transaction histories and

566
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,239
Speaker 3: it came to the heart sinking truth he did not

567
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 3: pay rent as he had planned during the last few months.

568
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 3: This info was sent to the credit bureau and now

569
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 3: impacts my ability to be accepted into new rentals until

570
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 3: it's fully paid back.

571
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, And now where is that money?

572
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 4: What's even spend it on you?

573
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 3: I don't know.

574
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 4: He definitely isn't gonna have the money.

575
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 2: To pay for it, so open he's gonna have to

576
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: pay for at least most of it.

577
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 3: Once again, my credit reputation has been penalized due to

578
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 3: his Now, currently my husband is not paying a cent

579
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 3: back towards the apartment's owed rent and fails to come

580
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 3: up with the four hundred and forty dollars short fall

581
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 3: in our current rent that his VHX do not cover

582
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 3: each month. He doesn't care that. He doesn't care that

583
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 3: by law and contract, he legally owes the landlord this

584
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 3: money and simply won't pay it until I force it

585
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 3: out of him. He claims he never has the money,

586
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 3: despite having an entire month to come up with it.

587
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 3: I can't figure out where it all goes, and I

588
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 3: do not trust him anymore. Between all this, several situations

589
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 3: arose where we had agreed to split costs on important

590
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 3: matters medical, pets, holidays. Initially kept true to his word,

591
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 3: but quickly peered off each time, leaving me footing the

592
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 3: remaining bills, which has left me in substantial financial debt.

593
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: Oh he, I'm so sorry.

594
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 4: It's just one after another.

595
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 3: Yeah. Recently I had to use his phone for a

596
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 3: legitimate reason, and while I had something, perhaps a divine message,

597
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 3: told me to check his messages. I learned that he

598
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 3: has been communicating romantically with the younger woman. There's where

599
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 3: all the money goes. Oh boy, those are expensive younger

600
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 3: women women, yep, especially the ones around twenty three years old.

601
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 3: Let me tell you about him. I could not keep

602
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 3: his phone long enough to see how far back it

603
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 3: went or if there were others. But between inappropriate pictures

604
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 3: and romantic language he has been communicating, he has been

605
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 3: committing at least emotional infidelity. The man who once told

606
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 3: me that he was not a liar, faithful and loyal,

607
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 3: has become the most dishonest man I have ever met.

608
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 3: He usually plays the victim in every scenario. Out of

609
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 3: all these things, all of these things have led me

610
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 3: to decide I need to leave him for my financial security,

611
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 3: my mental security, and the financial security of my son's future.

612
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 4: Absolutely ding ding ding.

613
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 6: Get out of them, out of this.

614
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 3: This is not sustainable whatsoever.

615
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 2: No, and I totally I didn't say it, but I

616
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 2: totally was thinking that it was to.

617
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 4: Other women in my head.

618
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 2: Really, there have been Yeah, there have been so many

619
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 2: stories where it's just like, yeah, and he's spending all

620
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 2: this money on this other world and now we're in debt.

621
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,479
Speaker 4: There's literally so many stories have been about that.

622
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 3: Other women.

623
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 2: Oh, because if he I mean, if that money's just

624
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 2: lost and he's not getting any new things, You're not

625
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 2: getting any new things.

626
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 4: The rent is not being paid, where's it going?

627
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 3: Who's spinning it?

628
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 4: Who is that?

629
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 3: Where do I begin the process of leaving him? How

630
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 3: can I leave him when his medical issues make me

631
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 3: appear like the bad guy? How do I manage to

632
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 3: get him to pay the money he owes to me

633
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 3: and others and restore my credit? Would that be the

634
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 3: ajo if I left him? When he needs me and

635
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 3: small update. Just found out he pawned his wedding band.

636
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 6: Is that it?

637
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 3: That's it?

638
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 7: Man?

639
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Yeah, I read some other stuff. I

640
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 3: think it was like rambling on about like how her

641
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 3: sister helped has been helping her. It wasn't really that

642
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 3: much information, but yeah.

643
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 2: He's yikes, dude, Oh my god.

644
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 3: It Yeah, if you really want your money back, like

645
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 3: set up payments or like you have a mutual fund

646
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 3: and then you get all those payments through to pay

647
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 3: off all the debts and then just leave them.

648
00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, which you think, I don't.

649
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,479
Speaker 3: I don't. These medical issues are big enough where you're

650
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 3: going to seem like the bad guy.

651
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

652
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: I think the best thing that you need to do

653
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: for your finances is go to Vegas. Gamble it, double it,

654
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 2: double it again, double it again.

655
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 6: Whoa, whoa whoa.

656
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,239
Speaker 4: Double it whoa. W Time wrap And that's the end

657
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 4: of this story. We're going on to the next one.

658
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 6: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here and we're

659
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 6: going to get back to the stories. But here's three

660
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 6: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My mother used my

661
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 6: brother to pressure me for money, so I went off,

662
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 6: that's a weird way to get money, I seventeen female.

663
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 6: Even weirder to press your seventeen year old daughter for money.

664
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 6: HAVE been trying to save up money for when I

665
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,239
Speaker 6: move out in a month to share an apartment with

666
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 6: my boyfriend. I'm going to go to university, and my

667
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 6: dad's offered help. But I know when I'm not in

668
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 6: control of my own money, knowing when or how I'm

669
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 6: getting it, I get really anxious about spending because I

670
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 6: used to have really bad spending habits. By the way,

671
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 6: this comes from user Fuzzy character forty one, and if

672
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

673
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 6: r slash Okay story time subreddit. I'm Dakota, I'm Riley,

674
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 6: and we are here to give you good advice.

675
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 3: Goofy yo.

676
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 6: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

677
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 6: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

678
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 6: do down in the comments. And op says, my little

679
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 6: brother fifteen male, is autistic. It isn't a severe case

680
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 6: where he's nonverbal or can't change or do anything for himself.

681
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 6: At best, you'd think he's a little dorky. My mother

682
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 6: has been known to not be the best about spending

683
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 6: her money despite having government assistance and my dad constantly

684
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 6: giving her money to fix her other money mistakes that

685
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 6: she made with his money. Ooh, I'm not fully sure

686
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 6: what's going on with all that, and I think I'll

687
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 6: get stressed if I ask my dad to explain it

688
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 6: to me. All this is sort of just context for

689
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 6: the situation. I'm also not mad at my brother, as

690
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 6: he stuck up for me before anyone else asks about that. Basically,

691
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 6: my mom reached out to me while I was sleeping

692
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 6: over at my boyfriend's and asked where I would be working.

693
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,959
Speaker 6: It was really out of the blue. She started asking

694
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 6: how much money I'd be making and how often i'd

695
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 6: be home once I moved out. I kind of caught

696
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,880
Speaker 6: on that she was asking for money. I tried to

697
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 6: gently remind her that I'm saving up to pay rent

698
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 6: in a little bit and starting to pay for my

699
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 6: own things without an allowance. Then she asked if I

700
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 6: could ask my dad to send me an allowance and

701
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 6: just lie and say I'm not working.

702
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 3: Ooh, I think I see where her money habits are

703
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 3: coming from.

704
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 6: This is giving me gambling problem vibes. Yuh, that's what

705
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 6: I mean, that's what it's given me, giving me the

706
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 6: vibes of yeah, ask your dad for an allowance and

707
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 6: then lie and say you don't have a job so

708
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 6: that you can give me the allowance. I flat out

709
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 6: said no and laughed. She sort of huffed and said

710
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 6: she struggles with buying presents from my little brother since

711
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 6: his birthday was last week and the things that autistic

712
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 6: people like are really expensive. I told her that was

713
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 6: the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I said, not everything

714
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 6: revolves around his disability. I was trying to say, he's

715
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 6: his own person. He isn't a person with autism. He

716
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 6: is Ryan, which is a fake name and not his

717
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 6: real name, which is what I was gonna say. But

718
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,240
Speaker 6: I thought she wouldn't really understand that since she zones

719
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 6: out when I try to explain things for too long,

720
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 6: so it came out weird.

721
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 3: That's where the gambling stuff comes in.

722
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, She's like, what I need the spinning wheels? I

723
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 6: can't focus? Where's my slot machine? She hung up, and

724
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 6: five minutes later, my brother called me and asked if

725
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 6: I was mad at him. I said no and asked

726
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 6: what was wrong, because sometimes he just asks me that

727
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 6: so I wasn't fully assuming it was the phone call.

728
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 6: He said, my mother told him that I said he

729
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 6: wasn't important enough to have my money.

730
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 3: Oh she's weaponizing your brother.

731
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 6: Mom sucks. What is your dad doing?

732
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, oh together, yeah, oh wow.

733
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,800
Speaker 6: He kept insisting he doesn't want my money and that

734
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 6: he likes me being his sister without that. This made

735
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 6: me furious, but not at him. Of course. I explained

736
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 6: what happened, and he said it was weird and he's sorry,

737
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 6: and he doesn't want present money from me. Yeah no,

738
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 6: it's like, yeah, he goes, Oh no, that's weird. No,

739
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 6: you don't have to buy my presents now. Our mom

740
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 6: is weird. Dang, And I second that, good sir, your

741
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 6: mother is a freak. We talked for a little bit

742
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 6: and it was fine. When we hung up, I called

743
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 6: my mother back. She tried to go off at me again,

744
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 6: but I yelled that it was horrible for her to

745
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 6: say that to my little brother, and honestly, I just

746
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 6: kept yelling. Anytime she tried to talk, I just yelled,

747
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 6: which is what I feel bad about, because then she

748
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 6: got upset and called my dad. My dad called me

749
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 6: to ask if I was okay, but I was still mad,

750
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 6: so I told him she was asking me to lie

751
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 6: to get extra money, and he's also mad at her now.

752
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 6: She's been texting me saying her whole house is mad

753
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 6: at her now and that she's said she couldn't rely

754
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 6: on me. She asked me to stay at my boyfriend's

755
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 6: house for a couple nights because she wanted space, and

756
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 6: my boyfriend said it's fine. I'm really conflicted now because

757
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 6: I thought I was in the right for how I felt,

758
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 6: but now seeing how much it affected her, I just

759
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 6: feel like a huge a hole because your mother is

760
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 6: manipulating you. She's probably been doing it for a long time,

761
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 6: and she's really good at it. My brother is telling

762
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 6: me he still thinks it was weird and mean of

763
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 6: her to try to get money out of me, using

764
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 6: the excuse of him being autistic. Me and my dad

765
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,800
Speaker 6: are very close, but he hates to argue with my mom,

766
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,760
Speaker 6: so we haven't really talked since my mom asked for space.

767
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,439
Speaker 6: I know my mom struggles with money and it makes

768
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 6: her feel incompetent at times, as she's expressed to me.

769
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 6: These reactions are making me doubt my behavior. I know

770
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 6: I'm at least a bit of an a hole for

771
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 6: raising my voice. But yeah, am I the a hole?

772
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 6: And just to clarify, my parents are not divorced or

773
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 6: split up and they still live together. Oh man, And

774
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 6: we do have some comments here.

775
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 3: Think you need to develop some sort of neurodivergence so

776
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 3: then you can defend your mom against your mom being like, well, Mom,

777
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: I have worse autism. I can't give you money.

778
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, I can't give you money. I'm buying all of

779
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 6: these weighted blankets. Yes, I can't afford it. My weighted

780
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,879
Speaker 6: blanket budget is stretched to its absolute minimum. You would

781
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 6: understand maximum.

782
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 3: Because I'm worse autistic.

783
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 6: Let's get into these comments. Ducky Glow says, not the ahole.

784
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 6: I don't see a problem in a parent asking their

785
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 6: kid for money. But the manipulation and the lie to

786
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,359
Speaker 6: your brother was terrible. Also, she wanted you to lie

787
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 6: to your father to give her the money. Why can't

788
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 6: she ask him directly? Op says, I think she didn't

789
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 6: want to ask him because she gave him several debts

790
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 6: he had to pay off and that was very stressful

791
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 6: for him, and he sort of put restrictions on money

792
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 6: she can borrow. Responsible Fly twelve sixteen says, not the ahle,

793
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 6: Your mom is the ahole. If possible, go live with

794
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 6: your debt. Op says, Unfortunately, my parents still live together.

795
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,479
Speaker 6: I wish my little brother could live with my dad

796
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 6: as well. They argue a lot, and my brother overall

797
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,320
Speaker 6: just hates living there, but obviously doesn't really have a choice.

798
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 6: Malfus forty three says, what's the plan for your brother

799
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 6: once he's an adult? Will your mom ever let him

800
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 6: have any independence or does she see him as disability money?

801
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,959
Speaker 6: Opie says, I'm not sure. He's still a bit away

802
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 6: from moving out. I'm assuming she'd want him to stay

803
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 6: for a while, but he's expressed the idea to me

804
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 6: of how much he'd love having his own space, and

805
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 6: Opi replies to a big comment, thank you so much. Also, yes,

806
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,760
Speaker 6: he gave her a spending limit because she had given

807
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 6: my dad debts. I don't know how to explain, but basically,

808
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 6: she spent his money into oblivion. He would give her

809
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 6: two and a half thousand to five thousand dollars monthly

810
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 6: for extra spending money on things for my brother, but

811
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 6: her extra spending money is now three hundred and he

812
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 6: just personally gets things from my brother if he needs them.

813
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 6: I think I'll ask my dad to meet up and

814
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 6: talk about the things she said to my brother, along

815
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,240
Speaker 6: with my concerns for other things. I think that addresses

816
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 6: most questions and advice in this comment. And my brother

817
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 6: will be getting that fist bump Heck, yeah, dude, sibling

818
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,760
Speaker 6: fist bumps. Let's go another.

819
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 3: No, Oh no, you never know what that's like.

820
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 6: Oh, opie, does your mother have a history of substance

821
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 6: use disorder? But absolutely not the ahole regardless, she is

822
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 6: way out of line. Ope, respond we go. She had

823
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 6: been in rehab once before my brother was born, but

824
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 6: when my father told me this, he said it wasn't

825
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 6: for very long. Another reply to a comment is my

826
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 6: mother was working and then quit. I do not know why,

827
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 6: but it does not sound like she was let go.

828
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 6: So then my dad was the main income person. Eventually

829
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 6: got a promotion, then when I was twelve, bought the

830
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 6: place he was working at and one of its other franchises.

831
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 6: I hope that makes sense, because I really don't know

832
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 6: anything about all his business stuff. But then basically she

833
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 6: had been saving her work money while she had a job,

834
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 6: took it out for or one nice day out. Then

835
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 6: eventually all the money she had was gone. And that

836
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 6: was when she started asking my dad for money for

837
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 6: important things, then using it on random crap she didn't

838
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 6: really need, or things that weren't essential. Repulsive Egg says info.

839
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 6: Does she hoard that, dad? That's a good one. I

840
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,959
Speaker 6: wasn't thinking about that. That's a good question, Opie says,

841
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,320
Speaker 6: I'd say no from what I can see. Well, you'd

842
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 6: know if you're living with your mom and she was

843
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,879
Speaker 6: a hoarder, you'd probably know. The things that she spends

844
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 6: her money on are either one use things or things

845
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 6: she sees on the internet, or that her friends have

846
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 6: that she throws out two weeks later because she doesn't

847
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 6: like the items anymore. I guess the only thing she

848
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 6: keeps are like makeup clothes that she buys with the money.

849
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 6: But I wouldn't say all that is hoarding. And there

850
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 6: is an update from nine days later.

851
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 3: Opie, A magic fairy comes by and you get an

852
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 3: apology from your mother and everything works.

853
00:40:55,880 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 6: Out, And I sure hope, so I hope this doesn't

854
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 6: go into Yeah, so I found out my mom has

855
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:07,399
Speaker 6: substance use disorder still and and that's why she can't

856
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 6: have any money to spend on herself.

857
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,399
Speaker 3: Oh have you been talking to that angry troll down

858
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 3: that bridge. That's some that angry troll would say.

859
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, the angry troll down the bridge is her dealer.

860
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 6: He's in a trench coat. So for the comments who

861
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 6: had said it seems like my mother had a substance

862
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 6: use disorder, you're not wrong.

863
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, we called it. Let's go it.

864
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 6: Feels so wrong.

865
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 3: Fist bumped a viewers.

866
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,839
Speaker 6: Oh. Mom got arrested the other night for driving under

867
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 6: the influence. Oh my gosh, which turns out my aunt

868
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 6: had been sending her hundreds to near thousands a month

869
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,239
Speaker 6: for what she thought was special needs equipment, but was

870
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 6: actually forbidding me.

871
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Yo.

872
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 6: After the fight about the money, nearly her whole side

873
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 6: of the family was against me, and I still wasn't

874
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 6: allowed back home. This made her and dad, if I

875
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 6: heaps because he wanted me home, but my mom was

876
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 6: literally refusing and was saying she would call the police

877
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 6: if I showed up. Then she got arrested. My dad

878
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 6: called me and said I can come home from my boyfriends.

879
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 6: I asked if Mom had calmed down and he was like, no,

880
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 6: she's been doinging in this house every night and just

881
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 6: got in a car accident, so she's not here, which

882
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 6: means I'm here, get my butt over there. And that

883
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,439
Speaker 6: was it. To be fair, everyone in my house has

884
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 6: just sort of embraced it. I don't know how to

885
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,759
Speaker 6: explain it. I didn't expect her to be doing substances.

886
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 6: I was surprised, but not stunned, and don't know how

887
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 6: else to explain it. Well, if you're shocked.

888
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 3: She's spending a lot of money and she's not hoarding, like,

889
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 3: there's not a bunch of stuff like things coming around.

890
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 3: Money's going somewhere.

891
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 6: Her and my dad are finally splitting up, probably for

892
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 6: the best. My brother is handling this all right, I guess,

893
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 6: I mean better than most I would think. His response

894
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 6: was mostly just oh and listening to what we said

895
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 6: about the things happening next, how mom wasn't going to

896
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 6: be around much anymore at all, etc. Let this be

897
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 6: a lesson how sometimes you gotta argue with your wife,

898
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 6: not in a trifling way, but in a like, hey,

899
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 6: we have to have a difficult conversation.

900
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 3: Hey are you doing keademy?

901
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 6: When you see things you can't just be like, oh,

902
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 6: I don't like fighting. It's like, hey, pee in this cup. Yeah.

903
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 6: She's tried texting and calling a few times, but I

904
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 6: texted her one time, a big paragraph, basically just letting

905
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 6: her know I'm done. I maybe would have been able

906
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 6: to forgive her if she didn't drag my dad down

907
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 6: with her and spend every time along his bloodline and

908
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 6: have substances in the house where my brother was. I

909
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,800
Speaker 6: don't care to know if she's going to jail or something.

910
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 6: Even if she gets clean and has a come to

911
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 6: Jesus moment or something, I really don't care to know her.

912
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 6: I think that sums everything up. Sorry, it's short, maybe melodramatic,

913
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 6: not for me obviously, but again, thank you for all

914
00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 6: the advice. Have a good day, okay. Bit nineteen eighty one.

915
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 6: Has any of your mom's family apologized, Opie, says my aunt,

916
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 6: But I just told her I don't accept the apology,

917
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 6: and I'm not talking to her either. Everyone else is

918
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 6: either standing on what they said or my dad is

919
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 6: saying they're too embarrassed to reach out. But I just

920
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,479
Speaker 6: think they really don't care.

921
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 7: Now.

922
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 6: I think your dad's right. I think there are. People

923
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 6: don't want to be wrong, and then when they are

924
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 6: undoubtedly wrong, it's it's embarrassing.

925
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 3: If someone has heard something about you and they don't

926
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 3: ask for your perspective, they've already made up their mind.

927
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 3: That is true, and that's the end of the story.

928
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:35,399
Speaker 3: We're going to read the next one.

929
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 7: My stepsister nearly cut me off because I didn't check.

930
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 4: On her pregnancy.

931
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 6: Well what are you word? Doctor?

932
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 7: So this all started in November twenty twenty four when

933
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 7: my now ex husband, Mail thirty four, got promoted to

934
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,879
Speaker 7: a new position through his company, but it meant us

935
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 7: packing up our house and moving to another state. He

936
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:57,920
Speaker 7: left for the new state shortly after he got the

937
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:02,840
Speaker 7: promotion in November, while U Female thirty three, stayed back

938
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 7: and worked on packing our home and prepping it for sale.

939
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from Wampa Wampa fruit and

940
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 7: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

941
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,240
Speaker 7: the r slash Okay storytime, suprend it. I am Savannah.

942
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 6: Wampa Wampa, I'm Dakota and Wampa Wampa.

943
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 4: We're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't

944
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,360
Speaker 4: have all the answers.

945
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 7: We only would tell you what we would do in

946
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,359
Speaker 7: this situation, so please let us know what you would

947
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:31,320
Speaker 7: do in the comments. As Opie says in March twenty

948
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 7: twenty five, I was finally going to be able to

949
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 7: move with him into our new home after months of packing,

950
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 7: the process of selling our old home, looking for our

951
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 7: new home, and transferring jobs. On moving day, no less,

952
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 7: he told me he had been cheating on me the

953
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 7: past three months.

954
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 3: Wow.

955
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 6: Oh, at least he's honest.

956
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, the last day possible.

957
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 6: Ah.

958
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 7: Obviously, this threw my whole world into complete chaos. When

959
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 7: I found out, I told every one in my family.

960
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 7: I decided I deserved better and wanted a divorce. Yes,

961
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 7: as you should. This was very, very hard. We were

962
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:12,399
Speaker 7: together for thirteen years and he was all I ever knew.

963
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 7: My life as I knew it was over and I

964
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:19,720
Speaker 7: was incredibly depressed and heartbroken during this time. Yeah, understandable, Yeah,

965
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 7: I mean, what do you do that is your whole life?

966
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 7: I had never been on my own before him, and

967
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,839
Speaker 7: it took a few months before I could stand on

968
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,440
Speaker 7: my own two feet again. But I was able to

969
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 7: get away from him, move to a new state, and

970
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,680
Speaker 7: start my life over. It was challenging, but I did it,

971
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 7: and I'm glad I did. Now I'm happy to say

972
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 7: I have a very loving boyfriend and I have never

973
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 7: been happier.

974
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 6: Oh good, Oh yeah, heck yeah, dude, as you should.

975
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 7: One person in particular I talked to about everything was

976
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 7: my stepsister, female twenty nine. We have never been super close.

977
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 4: In my eyes.

978
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 7: We only really reached out to each other during holidays

979
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 7: and birthdays, occasionally one of us calling to check in,

980
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 7: but beyond that, I never really thought we were that close.

981
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,839
Speaker 7: This wasn't a bad thing, and I still care about her,

982
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 7: It's just that we never really hung out outside of

983
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 7: a family gathering, talked much on the phone, or even texted.

984
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 7: I found out around the same month I asked for

985
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 7: a divorce, she told me her and her husband were pregnant,

986
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 7: which was wonderful news, just at a bad time in

987
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 7: my life. The divorce didn't happen overnight and took a

988
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 7: few months even after I moved, to finalized paperwork, work

989
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 7: through lawyer issues, and sell the house. I moved in

990
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 7: June and started to get settled into my first apartment

991
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,760
Speaker 7: in a new state. I had many low times during

992
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 7: all this where I felt depressed, stressed, isolated and abandoned

993
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 7: by a lot of people in my life. Not only

994
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 7: had my husband abandoned me, but my dad stopped talking

995
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 7: to me altogether. All very few people reached out to me,

996
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 7: aside from my best friend, mom and stepmom, who I

997
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 7: talked to once a week. They, alongside my new relationship,

998
00:47:57,239 --> 00:48:00,359
Speaker 7: kept me moving forward. It did hurt that not many

999
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 7: other people reached out during this time, because it definitely

1000
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:06,919
Speaker 7: was not easy. Fast forward to October twenty twenty five

1001
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 7: and I get vacation time and can go to my

1002
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,919
Speaker 7: home state to visit family for the first time since

1003
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 7: everything went down in March. I also go to my

1004
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 7: stepsister's baby shower, which my stepmom had excitedly been giving

1005
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 7: me updates about this entire time when we talked on

1006
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 7: the phone. It was great to see my stepsister and

1007
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 7: her hubby. While I was there, everything seemed normal. We

1008
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 7: all talked and joked, I got to feel the baby punt,

1009
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 7: and it was just a wonderful time, smiles all around.

1010
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,799
Speaker 7: After the party, I spoke with my dad, who was

1011
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 7: now talking to me again after six months no contact,

1012
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:47,280
Speaker 7: who told me that my stepsister said she was actually

1013
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,480
Speaker 7: ready to write me out of her life if I

1014
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 7: didn't show up to the shower because I hadn't reached

1015
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 7: out to her during her whole pregnancy. I thought this

1016
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 7: was strange coming from her and didn't sound right. So

1017
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 7: I reached out to her and asked myself if she

1018
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 7: actually felt this way. My surprise, she said yes, because

1019
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 7: I hadn't reached out to her to check in during

1020
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 7: a stressful time in her life, which is ironic. This

1021
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:12,959
Speaker 7: immediately made me upset because she also had not reached

1022
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 7: out to me during one of the most stressful times

1023
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 7: of my life.

1024
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:16,720
Speaker 4: Either.

1025
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 6: It looks like we're holding on to the scoreboard. Now,

1026
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 6: that's an easy way for everyone to lose.

1027
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 7: From my understanding, it's like, well, I'm not mad at

1028
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 7: you for not reaching out, Well, I'm med at you

1029
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 7: for not reaching out.

1030
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 4: Well I'm just let's just never reach out, Okay.

1031
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,839
Speaker 6: You should ask is what do you want out of

1032
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 6: this relationship with your sister? What connection do you want?

1033
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 3: What you know?

1034
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 6: Instead of it being like, well, this is fair, this

1035
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 6: is even you did weren't there for me, so I

1036
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,240
Speaker 6: won't be there for you, yeah.

1037
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 7: Or trying to like compare like, well, I'm going through

1038
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 7: a hard time, Well, I was going through a hard time.

1039
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,400
Speaker 4: Well, my time was harder your time like that just

1040
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 4: will literally get you nowhere.

1041
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,080
Speaker 7: I feel that relationships are a two way street and

1042
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 7: be all one person putting in effort. But I bit

1043
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 7: my lip and just told her I was very sorry

1044
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:07,239
Speaker 7: I had hurt her. I had no idea she felt

1045
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:08,879
Speaker 7: that way, and that I wanted to be a better

1046
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 7: sister to her, it would make more of an effort

1047
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,879
Speaker 7: to reach out. It's been a month since that talk,

1048
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 7: and I reach out to her a few times a week, texting,

1049
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 7: sometimes sending her funny videos on Facebook or snapchats. When

1050
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 7: I text her, she barely responds, and it's always very

1051
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 7: one sided about how she's doing her feeling. She never

1052
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 7: asks how I am or what I'm doing, and when

1053
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,800
Speaker 7: I do tell her, she just seems disinterested or doesn't

1054
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 7: even respond. But again, I'm still trying. Now I feel

1055
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 7: like a doormat. I can't help feeling frustrated because my

1056
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,280
Speaker 7: feelings were hurt that she was so mad I didn't

1057
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 7: reach out, but never thought to speak to me or

1058
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 7: tell me or even ask how I was doing.

1059
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 6: It's crazy that she didn't reach out at all. After

1060
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 6: your entire life imploded on you. My partner cheated on

1061
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:01,240
Speaker 6: me one day before they were moving across the country.

1062
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 3: Like I don't.

1063
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 6: I don't know like I would expect, like a, hey,

1064
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,720
Speaker 6: are you good? At least I would expect something.

1065
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 7: I understand she is at the end of her pregnancy

1066
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 7: and things are scary and overwhelming, and hormones play a

1067
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 7: big part. But I can't shake my feeling of irritation

1068
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 7: the more I reach out and get a half asked response,

1069
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,240
Speaker 7: I feel like I don't matter, my feelings don't matter,

1070
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:25,879
Speaker 7: and putting effort in Dallas didn't matter. I would love

1071
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,240
Speaker 7: to approach her with how I feel in this situation,

1072
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 7: similar to how she felt, but I also don't want

1073
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 7: to stress her out before she has a baby.

1074
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 6: I think you can approach her in a way that's

1075
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 6: not super stressful, like try to keep the emotions as

1076
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 6: low as possible, to be like, hey, I feel like,

1077
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 6: you know, maybe our communications a little one sided, Like

1078
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 6: and I, you know, feel like I do want to

1079
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 6: put effort into this, but I'm not sure exactly what

1080
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 6: it's accomplishing. And again, and I don't want to stress

1081
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 6: you out. I just want to let you know how

1082
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,760
Speaker 6: I'm feeling because I'm your sister and you're my sister,

1083
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 6: and I want us to be able to move forward

1084
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,240
Speaker 6: and have a good relationship together.

1085
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 7: It doesn't have to be like, you know, well, I

1086
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 7: you know like it. You don't have to be so

1087
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 7: intense or intimidating about it, like it could just be like, hey, uh,

1088
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 7: I've just been feeling like, you know, maybe there's a

1089
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 7: little tension between us or something, and I kind of

1090
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 7: want to figure that out before, like, you know, all

1091
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 7: this baby stuff happens. I'm just not sure what to

1092
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,360
Speaker 7: do or if it's even worth stressing about. Should I

1093
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:33,359
Speaker 7: just let it go all together or keep on like

1094
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 7: I have been? Am I the a hole for not

1095
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 7: reaching out sooner during her pregnancy when I was going

1096
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 7: through a divorce at the same time. All right, update,

1097
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 7: First off, thank you very much to everyone who has

1098
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,000
Speaker 7: responded and all of your kind words and advice. Sometimes

1099
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,760
Speaker 7: it's nice to gain the perspective of another person outside

1100
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 7: of friends and family. Some people had said that my

1101
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 7: stepsister seemed spoiled or like a bully, but I disagree.

1102
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 7: I think in all honesty, she is similar to me

1103
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 7: and is a bit of a doormat in the family.

1104
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 7: I think she just didn't think about what I was

1105
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 7: going through or realized how hard it might be to

1106
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 7: be honest. This doesn't make it okay, and I'm not

1107
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 7: excusing her behavior because it is still crappy, but I

1108
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 7: definitely don't think her intentions were meant to be mean

1109
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 7: in any way. I honestly think a major factor in

1110
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,320
Speaker 7: this situation is my dad. He and I have always

1111
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 7: had a very tumultuous relationship. When I moved, he and

1112
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 7: I had a falling out. He stopped talking to me

1113
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 7: and refused to respond to texts and calls. After I moved.

1114
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 7: We finally started talking again the day before the baby

1115
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 7: shower because my stepmom didn't want any drama at the

1116
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 7: shower and told him to call me and work things out.

1117
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:46,239
Speaker 7: He said a lot of cruel things to me during

1118
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 7: that time, and it made me realize how much of

1119
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:51,239
Speaker 7: a self absorbed person he was. As a side note,

1120
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 7: you really start to realize who was there for you

1121
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 7: through your hardest times when you're going through something.

1122
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 4: Like a divorce.

1123
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 7: It shows you a lot about the people around you.

1124
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:02,760
Speaker 7: He is part of that generation of if someone hurts

1125
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 7: your feelings too bad, it's your responsibility to maintain the relationship,

1126
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 7: not theirs. I've been slowly putting distance between me and

1127
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 7: him only after years of not realizing I was being

1128
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 7: a doormat and a people pleaser. I was letting these

1129
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 7: people in my life walk all over me, especially him.

1130
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:23,160
Speaker 7: I think he was the one who actually put the

1131
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 7: idea in my stepsister's head that I should have reached

1132
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 7: out to her, and I was a crappy person for

1133
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 7: not doing so. In his mind, it's my responsibility to

1134
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 7: reach out to people I want to have a relationship with.

1135
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 7: I find it weird that the timing lines up with

1136
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:39,959
Speaker 7: my dad refusing to reach out to me and talk

1137
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 7: to me. I'm sure he was bad mouthing me with her,

1138
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 7: but who knows.

1139
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 4: So now for.

1140
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 6: The actual update, let's go.

1141
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 7: Any conversation with my sister is going to have to

1142
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,919
Speaker 7: be put on the back burner because she went into

1143
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:56,960
Speaker 7: labor yesterday.

1144
00:54:57,000 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 4: Oh oh no, baby time, baby, tell you I.

1145
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 6: Have to worry about the conversation stressing out the baby.

1146
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 7: She had to have an emergency CEA section. Today, baby

1147
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 7: is healthy and she is doing good too. It was

1148
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 7: hard and scary, and lots went sideways, but everyone is

1149
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:12,760
Speaker 7: doing fine.

1150
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:14,879
Speaker 6: Now what should we talk about? Well, I think you're

1151
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 6: moving in the right direction. I think you're realizing like

1152
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 6: maybe a lot of this isn't even necessarily coming from

1153
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,799
Speaker 6: either of you, and maybe more from the environment you

1154
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 6: were in when you grew up. Right, like with Nars's dad,

1155
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 6: I think you're gonna be fine. I think you move

1156
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,239
Speaker 6: forward and you know what, you need to visit the

1157
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 6: baby and be with the baby, see the baby, babysit

1158
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:38,640
Speaker 6: probably at some point, and I think guys are on

1159
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 6: the road to mending the fence.

1160
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:41,800
Speaker 4: For now.

1161
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 7: I think it's best that I continue to be there

1162
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 7: for her. Yeah, baby, but I am going to take

1163
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,840
Speaker 7: people's advice and slowly take a step back and not

1164
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 7: message her as often as I was before. A conversation

1165
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 7: will be had in the future when life slows down

1166
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 7: and it can be brought up and not seen as

1167
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 7: an attack. I still want to bring up and share

1168
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 7: with her how hard it was and how dark of

1169
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 7: a time it was. I don't think she really knew

1170
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 7: how hard the mental struggle was on me, and to

1171
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 7: be fair, I never really opened up about it afterwards.

1172
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 7: It's something that maybe in the future we can talk

1173
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 7: about and hopefully come to a mutual understanding.

1174
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 4: That's the end.

1175
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 6: I and that's I think you'll do exactly that. I

1176
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:20,800
Speaker 6: think that is exactly what will happen.

1177
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 7: I honestly don't think anyone really did anything wrong in this.

1178
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,439
Speaker 4: I think life just got the best of both of you.

1179
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 7: And you know, sometimes you go through hard things, good things, whatever,

1180
00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 7: and then you lose contact with people and but you know,

1181
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 7: no one should blame each other for that. Like stuff

1182
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 7: just gets in the way and that's just life. Yeah,

1183
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 7: the dad just seems like he's starting stuff, which annoying,

1184
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 7: so I would just you know, keep him at arm's length.

1185
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think you. I think you're doing fine. Op,

1186
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 4: I think everything's gonna work out.

1187
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 3: I do too.

1188
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

1189
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 6: on to the next one.

1190
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and

1191
00:56:58,239 --> 00:56:59,720
Speaker 2: we're going to get back to the stories.

1192
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,800
Speaker 4: But here, here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

1193
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:07,920
Speaker 6: My dad had nearly a million dollars, but still left

1194
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 6: me struggling. Oh, you gotta help a home me out

1195
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 6: a million dollars in this economy. He's basically like twenty

1196
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 6: five cents. Let's start back when I thirty one female,

1197
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 6: was a kid. For context purposes, my dad's sixty four

1198
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 6: male has always been a bit distant. Both my father

1199
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:27,200
Speaker 6: and mother fifty five female put a lot more thought

1200
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 6: and attention on my older brother, Trevor thirty two male.

1201
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 6: Trevor always had an issue in school and had violent

1202
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 6: outbursts with his very obvious ADHD. By the way, this

1203
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 6: comes from users silver Jellyfish eight oh three. And if

1204
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1205
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 6: r slash Okay Storytime Summer Day. I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah,

1206
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 6: and we are here to give you good advice. Goofly,

1207
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 6: but we don't have all the answers of the known universe.

1208
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 6: We're just a couple of goofball. We only know what

1209
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 6: we would do, So let us know what you would

1210
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 6: do down in the common ants, as Op says. Fast

1211
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 6: forward to me being late teens, when I moved away

1212
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 6: for college. Me and my mom got really close. She

1213
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 6: would drive two hours to my college every Thursday to

1214
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 6: watch Gray's Anatomy with me. She was my absolute best friend.

1215
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 6: In twenty fifteen, I was sideswiped by a transport truck

1216
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:24,280
Speaker 6: and it caused my car to be destroyed. I called

1217
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 6: my mom, She sent my dad. He picked me up,

1218
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 6: drove back to his work, handed me his keys, and

1219
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 6: said stay here all day or drive yourself home because

1220
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 6: I was sobbing and too scared to drive home. My

1221
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 6: mom was a blubbering mess about it all because I

1222
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 6: was injured pretty bad with a rotator cuff injury. Fast

1223
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 6: forward to twenty seventeen, my mom passed away of a

1224
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 6: sudden heart attack in the home I grew up in.

1225
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 3: Ah.

1226
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 6: That's a very rough shake. I wake up to paramedics,

1227
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 6: the whole nine peak trauma. Dad suddenly is lots of

1228
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:03,280
Speaker 6: substance and drinking. My mother's life insurance policy was always

1229
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,760
Speaker 6: supposed to cover the house. My dad chose to use

1230
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 6: it for other things instead, clearly recreationally. About a year

1231
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 6: after my mom passed, I had a newborn baby girl.

1232
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 6: He loved her, but he never watched her. He didn't

1233
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 6: do anything to help besides financially if I was struggling.

1234
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 6: We had our own basement apartment in the home, but

1235
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 6: a shared kitchen upstairs. He had always said during this

1236
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 6: time that he's putting away some money for my brother

1237
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 6: and I so that we can eventually buy a house

1238
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 6: for context. We live in a place where buying a

1239
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 6: house for under half a MILLI was rare. When one

1240
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 6: of my friends, who would come over all the time

1241
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 6: after my mom passed, would get off work early, she

1242
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 6: would hang out at my house with my dad until

1243
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 6: I got home. It started getting weird when she would

1244
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,120
Speaker 6: not even ask me to hang out and she'd be

1245
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 6: at my house hanging with my dad. Slowly, me and

1246
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 6: this friend stopped being friends because she saw a heartbroken,

1247
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 6: devastated man who is very shocked and doesn't really like

1248
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 6: meeting people, all while having quite a big chunk of

1249
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 6: money in his bank account from his passed away wife.

1250
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,520
Speaker 6: When that friend got wasted one day with my dad

1251
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,439
Speaker 6: and she tried to go home, she ended up hitting

1252
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 6: my husband, Jesse's friend's car. My dad took her side

1253
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 6: and said it's not her fault.

1254
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 4: Well, yes it is.

1255
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 6: It's not her fault. She drank and got behind the wheel.

1256
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 6: We got into it, and the next day my husband

1257
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 6: and my daughter, a seven female, left and went to

1258
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 6: a shelter. He had threatened to lock us out of

1259
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 6: the house and changed the locks because of this argument

1260
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 6: the threat. I couldn't trust him, especially knowing my daughter

1261
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 6: was going to be at the hands of whether my

1262
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 6: father locked us out or not. We ended up getting

1263
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 6: out of the shelter pretty quick. We went into a

1264
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:51,320
Speaker 6: geared to income housing that was a brand new home

1265
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 6: and we only had to pay rent that amounted the

1266
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 6: thirty percent of our income. My husband got a new job,

1267
01:00:56,960 --> 01:01:00,320
Speaker 6: and my second daughter, now four female, was born and

1268
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 6: we could not be happier. My dad had sold the home,

1269
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 6: my childhood home, the one where my mom passed away.

1270
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:11,120
Speaker 6: So now that he sold the house, he now has

1271
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 6: almost a million dollars in his bank account from the

1272
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:17,240
Speaker 6: sale of the home. Instead of buying himself a small

1273
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 6: little house, he took this money and decided to rent

1274
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 6: an apartment. But I still held on to hope that

1275
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,680
Speaker 6: he would help me buy a house. One day, a

1276
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:27,920
Speaker 6: couple years later, my husband and I decide we want

1277
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 6: to move across the country. I asked my dad to

1278
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 6: come with us. He said no, because everyone he knows

1279
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 6: is back home.

1280
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:38,360
Speaker 4: I mean, that makes sense, you don't, you know, he's old.

1281
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 4: He doesn't want to like make new friends, kind of

1282
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 4: smants to.

1283
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 6: Chill for a second. I thought it was just like

1284
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,760
Speaker 6: we're doing a trip across the country, and I'm like, well,

1285
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 6: you don't want to just like leave, you want to

1286
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:47,919
Speaker 6: just see somewhere else.

1287
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 4: You don't want to like explode.

1288
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 6: But they're moving, so that's not what's happening. Suddenly I

1289
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:54,920
Speaker 6: find out I'm pregnant for the third time.

1290
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:57,920
Speaker 4: Whoa, they're getting busy with my son.

1291
01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 6: Now it's three email my second was only six months old.

1292
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:04,560
Speaker 6: But we did it, and we made it. We moved

1293
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:07,600
Speaker 6: and everything was great. My dad had no part in

1294
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,920
Speaker 6: paying for the move. What he did, though, when I

1295
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 6: found out I was pregnant, was helped me buy a car.

1296
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:15,840
Speaker 6: My credit was horrible and my husband had no credit,

1297
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 6: so when we went to try and finance a pre

1298
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 6: owned car, I was unable to get it done. My

1299
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 6: dad said he would co sign. We go in and

1300
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:25,960
Speaker 6: they tell us that if I go on it at all,

1301
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:30,040
Speaker 6: my interest rates skyrockets. So my dad said it's fine,

1302
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 6: He'll put the whole finance in his name while I'm

1303
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 6: the primary owner of the vehicle. The dealership made him

1304
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 6: very aware that if I ever stopped paying, it would

1305
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 6: never affect me, it would only affect him. However, they

1306
01:02:43,320 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 6: would repossess the vehicle from me. I had no intentions

1307
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 6: on ever stopping paying for this vehicle. Well, just a

1308
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 6: little semantics here, I hope you did have the intention

1309
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 6: of at some point paying the vehicle off so that

1310
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:56,040
Speaker 6: you don't have to pay for it anymore. Yeah, I'm

1311
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,200
Speaker 6: going to pay for this vehicle for the rest of

1312
01:02:58,280 --> 01:02:59,040
Speaker 6: my life.

1313
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 7: I love spending money over and over and over again.

1314
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 6: Love paying money for vehicles. My brother had already screwed

1315
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:11,720
Speaker 6: my dad over this way, so I was never going

1316
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:14,320
Speaker 6: to do it to him too. Fast forward to about

1317
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 6: a year ago. I was driving about thirty kilometers an

1318
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 6: hour on a road that wasn't very well maintained. In

1319
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 6: the winter, I had a big patch of ice and

1320
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 6: I ended up rolling my vehicle at very low speeds.

1321
01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:28,280
Speaker 6: I still had about two years left to pay on

1322
01:03:28,320 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 6: this vehicle, but now it was written off. I got

1323
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 6: a payout from insurance that was paid out to me

1324
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 6: because I was the owner of the vehicle. But there

1325
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 6: was a lean on the vehicle, and because it was

1326
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:40,360
Speaker 6: not in my name, I could not pay it off.

1327
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:42,960
Speaker 6: I had to just keep making the payments with the

1328
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,919
Speaker 6: payout that was paid to me. So the last few

1329
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,120
Speaker 6: months have been kind of crazy. We went to finance

1330
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,640
Speaker 6: a trailer because I wanted to raise my credit. Since

1331
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 6: I finally started working again back in February, my credit

1332
01:03:55,080 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 6: has exponentially risen. My husband's has exponentially risen. So we

1333
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 6: decided we wanted to start looking at the potential to

1334
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 6: buy a house. We're fine paying the crashed car payment,

1335
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 6: the trailer payment, my new car payment that we were

1336
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:12,000
Speaker 6: able to finance on our own, and our rent, and

1337
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:14,520
Speaker 6: all of the other bills. When we went to buy

1338
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:16,760
Speaker 6: the house, we were told we needed a co signer,

1339
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:19,560
Speaker 6: and at this point, my dad has been very distant.

1340
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 6: I've hardly talked to him in the last three years

1341
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 6: since I moved away. He'll sometimes send money for the

1342
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:27,600
Speaker 6: kid's birthdays or Christmas, but he doesn't call. He doesn't

1343
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 6: ask how they are. I recently found out a friend

1344
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:33,360
Speaker 6: that i'd had since the fourth grade had been hanging

1345
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:38,760
Speaker 6: out and seeing my dad. Was it the same friend

1346
01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:42,040
Speaker 6: that was hanging out with him before? Yeah? Is it

1347
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:42,960
Speaker 6: that same friend?

1348
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:47,160
Speaker 4: Jesse? I think the name was Gross Gross Gross.

1349
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 6: She knew how much the last friend had hurt me

1350
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:52,000
Speaker 6: by doing this. Oh, so it's a different one. How

1351
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:56,320
Speaker 6: unlikely this friend has a very severe drinking ed substance

1352
01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:59,680
Speaker 6: use problem. Oh my, yeah, it sounds like your dad.

1353
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:01,400
Speaker 6: That's what it sounds like. It sounds like your dad

1354
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 6: just parties.

1355
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:05,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, which is yeah, hilarious.

1356
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 6: She had lost custody of her kids, and her children's

1357
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 6: father had told her to leave when she was belligerent,

1358
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 6: so she got upset called my dad to pick her up,

1359
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 6: and neither my father or this friend told me about this.

1360
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 6: Her children's father had sent me pictures of my dad

1361
01:05:20,320 --> 01:05:23,360
Speaker 6: picking her up. From that point, I removed that friend

1362
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:26,520
Speaker 6: from our childhood friend group chat, blocked her on Facebook,

1363
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:29,200
Speaker 6: and removed her from all other social media. I sent

1364
01:05:29,240 --> 01:05:31,960
Speaker 6: Trevor a message and was like, Dad's at it again.

1365
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:36,800
Speaker 6: Now I've lost two friends. I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh

1366
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:38,960
Speaker 6: because it sucks, but that was the funniest way you

1367
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,840
Speaker 6: could have said that Dad's at it again.

1368
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:47,080
Speaker 4: Here we go doing substances with my childhood friends. I've

1369
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:49,720
Speaker 4: already lost one, now here comes another.

1370
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:53,520
Speaker 6: Trevor responds, I don't want to talk about this. All

1371
01:05:53,560 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 6: I said to my dad was what the F dad?

1372
01:05:55,960 --> 01:05:58,760
Speaker 6: And he never responded anytime I sent him a message

1373
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 6: on Facebook or a text I'm left on red or

1374
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 6: all I get is that traditional dry dad thumbs up emoji.

1375
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,360
Speaker 6: When I had rolled the car, for example, he sent

1376
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:13,640
Speaker 6: a thumbs up and then said nice. No way he

1377
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:16,200
Speaker 6: sent you a thumbs up to your car rolled over.

1378
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:19,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just got erect my car flipped over three times.

1379
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:23,400
Speaker 6: Nice. So now I got a co signer and we

1380
01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:25,720
Speaker 6: were coming up to closing on a house. It is

1381
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:29,360
Speaker 6: a beautiful bungalow, and I was in love. The house

1382
01:06:29,440 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 6: number was the same as my mom's old house, and

1383
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:33,440
Speaker 6: there was a letter on the house that also happened

1384
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,760
Speaker 6: to be my married last name initial. The previous owners

1385
01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:39,160
Speaker 6: had the same initials as my husband and I. So

1386
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:42,520
Speaker 6: I messaged my dad and I said, Hey, you always

1387
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 6: said you wanted to help us buy a house. Well

1388
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 6: we've managed to get one without the help. We're coming

1389
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 6: up on our closing costs, and I was wondering if

1390
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:51,120
Speaker 6: you would like to contribute to help us towards those

1391
01:06:51,560 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 6: no pressure. If you don't want to, that's fine. I'll

1392
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 6: figure it out anyway. I always do.

1393
01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:59,440
Speaker 4: I don't know what's kind of passive aggressive.

1394
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 6: If you honestly wanted him to help, I probably wouldn't

1395
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:04,480
Speaker 6: have sent that text.

1396
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:05,440
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1397
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:08,000
Speaker 4: I have horrible time asking for money.

1398
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 6: My dad's response was, I don't know. I'm kind of

1399
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:12,920
Speaker 6: low on money. It depends on how much it is.

1400
01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:15,960
Speaker 6: My response to this was, don't worry about it. I

1401
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:18,720
Speaker 6: was just asking for a contribution, whatever you could or

1402
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 6: wanted to put forward. Don't worry about it. I did

1403
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:24,479
Speaker 6: not get a congratulations. I didn't get any I'm proud

1404
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 6: of you messages. When I sent him a picture of

1405
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 6: the house we bought with a big Sould sign on it,

1406
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 6: all I got was a thumbs up. Yeah, honestly. And

1407
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 6: I think what you might need to reckon with is

1408
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:38,440
Speaker 6: that your dad probably has a substance use disorder and

1409
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 6: that can cause a pretty extreme level of detachment from,

1410
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 6: you know, the people who should be closest to you.

1411
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 6: You should go.

1412
01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 7: Through all of the messages and thumbs down every single

1413
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:50,200
Speaker 7: thing he says, or better yet.

1414
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:52,400
Speaker 6: Just always send the thumbs up, no matter what he

1415
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:53,040
Speaker 6: no matter what.

1416
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:54,479
Speaker 4: More.

1417
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:57,640
Speaker 6: Now, your your friend Jesse slashed both my tires because

1418
01:07:57,640 --> 01:08:01,960
Speaker 6: I told her I couldn't commit nice. On my birthday,

1419
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:05,080
Speaker 6: he messaged me, happy birthday, have a great day. No,

1420
01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:07,480
Speaker 6: I love you, no, I miss you, just the generic

1421
01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:09,520
Speaker 6: happy birthday message you'd send to the friend of a

1422
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:12,160
Speaker 6: friend you met that one time at a party. Trevor

1423
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:14,960
Speaker 6: didn't even wish me a happy birthday until a week

1424
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:18,519
Speaker 6: or so later. Jesse has always been such a constant

1425
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:21,719
Speaker 6: for me since twenty sixteen, and he has always hated

1426
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:24,519
Speaker 6: the way my father and brother treat me. It was

1427
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:27,280
Speaker 6: the source of our fights for a long time until

1428
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:31,879
Speaker 6: we moved out, and we have hardly had a disagreement since. However,

1429
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:34,280
Speaker 6: he truly thinks the way this has all played out,

1430
01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:36,919
Speaker 6: my dad should eat the bill of the last fifteen

1431
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:39,599
Speaker 6: months of car payments that are left. If I stopped

1432
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:42,080
Speaker 6: paying this bill, it's essentially cutting off my dad and

1433
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:46,000
Speaker 6: going no contact and stopping the payments, leaving him to

1434
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:49,639
Speaker 6: foot the bill would definitely burn the bridge. So it's

1435
01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:51,920
Speaker 6: been a year and I'm kind of tired of paying

1436
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:54,040
Speaker 6: for a car I don't drive. It's not like I

1437
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:55,800
Speaker 6: can't afford it. It's more the fact that I was

1438
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:59,800
Speaker 6: always promised help buying a home after Mom passed away,

1439
01:08:59,680 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 6: but I been physically and emotionally abandoned instead. My question is,

1440
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:06,000
Speaker 6: would I be the a hole if I stopped paying

1441
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:08,280
Speaker 6: for a car that my dad is the sole person

1442
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:12,680
Speaker 6: on the loan. I think you would be you know,

1443
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:16,519
Speaker 6: whether or not it's right or wrong or justified, Yeah,

1444
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:19,519
Speaker 6: it'd be an a hole move. Him co signing on

1445
01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:21,800
Speaker 6: the car was what got you to, you know, get

1446
01:09:21,800 --> 01:09:23,599
Speaker 6: the car in the first place, So if you shafted

1447
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 6: him over that, that would be an a whole move,

1448
01:09:26,520 --> 01:09:29,800
Speaker 6: even if it is justified. But I think what needs

1449
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 6: to be done is you need to talk to some

1450
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:34,080
Speaker 6: kind of somebody who can tell you how you can

1451
01:09:34,120 --> 01:09:36,920
Speaker 6: just pay all that down because you just just pay

1452
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:39,360
Speaker 6: that off to stop paying the payments on it. And

1453
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:42,720
Speaker 6: I think, you know, to some level, I know he

1454
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:45,320
Speaker 6: had said like, oh, well, i'll help you get a house.

1455
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:48,880
Speaker 6: You know that your mom's gone now I'll help you

1456
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,280
Speaker 6: get a house. But do you ever you know I

1457
01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:55,040
Speaker 6: and I understand not wanting to have to be like, hey,

1458
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:57,439
Speaker 6: are you gonna help me? Do you want to help me?

1459
01:09:57,560 --> 01:09:59,240
Speaker 6: Remember what you said you would help me, and you

1460
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:02,479
Speaker 6: just want him to do do it? But I don't

1461
01:10:02,479 --> 01:10:04,639
Speaker 6: know if it really was just about getting the support

1462
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,799
Speaker 6: for the house. You gotta be like kind of business

1463
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:10,639
Speaker 6: like about it. But I really do think for op.

1464
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 6: It was more about like the principle of just wanting

1465
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:18,000
Speaker 6: their dad to be proactively like I want to help you,

1466
01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 6: and that's a different issue. The consensus is that I

1467
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:25,080
Speaker 6: would be the a hole, and that is kind of

1468
01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:27,680
Speaker 6: what I always knew. I just know at the end

1469
01:10:27,680 --> 01:10:29,280
Speaker 6: of the day, I wouldn't be able to live with

1470
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 6: myself knowing I gave that fu finale to the very

1471
01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:36,439
Speaker 6: painful one sided relationship with my dad. I've chosen to

1472
01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:40,400
Speaker 6: continue paying as it doesn't financially burden me. The payments

1473
01:10:40,479 --> 01:10:43,840
Speaker 6: keep going out on time, bi weekly as they always have.

1474
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:46,800
Speaker 6: I have just chosen to take the high road and

1475
01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:49,479
Speaker 6: walk away from the bridge rather than burning it. I

1476
01:10:49,520 --> 01:10:52,000
Speaker 6: appreciate you all taking a moment to read and respond.

1477
01:10:52,160 --> 01:10:55,680
Speaker 6: I didn't even expect a single reply. And that is

1478
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:57,479
Speaker 6: the end of that story. And little did you know

1479
01:10:57,640 --> 01:10:59,360
Speaker 6: your show was gonna your story was gonna make it

1480
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:00,719
Speaker 6: on Okay story Time.