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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me

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Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation

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Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast

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Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs

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Speaker 1: from Spotify and create any type of content that you

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Speaker 1: are looking for. Anchor will distribute it all for you

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Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more.

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her space.

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Speaker 3: But I think we should kind of give them a

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Speaker 3: little bit more right in terms of what happens behind

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Speaker 3: the scenes. So you mentioned that, Okay, you were in

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Speaker 3: New York for work. I'm here in the Bay Area,

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Speaker 3: and we decided we made that commitment, like we said earlier,

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Speaker 3: we made that commitment to be consistent to put out

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Speaker 3: episodes on a weekly basis for everyone.

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Speaker 2: And so what time are we working into.

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Speaker 3: Well, first of all, let's acknowledge that there's a three

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Speaker 3: hour time difference between New York and San Francisco and so,

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Speaker 3: and this episode was also recorded at the height of

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Speaker 3: the end of the semester work for me, So I

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Speaker 3: had taken on some extra hour. Welcome to her Space,

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Speaker 3: a podcast dedicated to uplifting women like you. We're your

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Speaker 3: hosts doctor Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and a motivational speaker. In

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Speaker 2: a world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood,

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Speaker 2: please join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything

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Speaker 2: from five roids to fake friends, and create a safe

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Speaker 2: space where black women can just be. Oh mg, Tom,

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Speaker 2: we are recording our season to finale. How do you feel?

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Speaker 2: Where did the time go?

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Speaker 3: I know, like really, this year twenty nineteen has blown

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Speaker 3: by us. So here we are literally halfway through the year.

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Speaker 3: Who halfway through.

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Speaker 2: Our seasons of what we have planned right, so the

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Speaker 2: end of season two.

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Speaker 3: Crazy, I think for me, I'm just so proud of

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Speaker 3: us for being consistent.

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Speaker 2: Yo, you stole the words out of my mouth. I'm

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Speaker 2: with you. I'm with you, like.

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Speaker 3: Y'all, like for real, every week we have an episode

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Speaker 3: out here for y'all.

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Speaker 2: I don't think y'all know how hard that really is.

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Speaker 2: And this is not even to like toot our own horn,

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Speaker 2: but like, I feel like us as women, sometimes we

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Speaker 2: do need to sit down, sit your ass down, and

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Speaker 2: acknowledge yourself for your greatness and what you've done for real,

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Speaker 2: for real, because when we sit back and we're gonna

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Speaker 2: save this a lot, because it is still every time

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Speaker 2: Donad and I meet, we look at each other and

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Speaker 2: we're like, maybe every other time, we're like, damn, we

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Speaker 2: have a fucking podcast. Can you believe we did this?

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Speaker 2: Like you, if you listen to episode one from season one,

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Speaker 2: you know that we literally just came up with this

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Speaker 2: idea literally randomly, and we didn't know what to do,

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Speaker 2: and we went to Google and use our resources, and

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Speaker 2: so honestly, in our mind, when we see your comments,

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Speaker 2: when we see the feedback, we're just like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: we did this. Like this thing is coming together, and

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Speaker 2: the reason that it's coming together is because of you

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Speaker 2: your feedback. I can't tell you how many times I've

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Speaker 2: had a rough day and I go on to iTunes

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Speaker 2: or our Instagram and I see a beautiful comment. I'm

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Speaker 2: just like, Okay, it's all worth it, Like we're doing

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Speaker 2: this for a reason, and it sounds like from your feedback,

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Speaker 2: like it sounds like you are getting the intention that

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Speaker 2: we set out to heal, to provide resources, to provide value,

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Speaker 2: and I'm still in shock that we actually have a

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Speaker 2: podcast and we are going into season three and we've

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Speaker 2: literally produced an episode despite what we've gone through, because

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Speaker 2: we haven't gone into all the details of what we've

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Speaker 2: been struggling with. Personally. We are working women. We have

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Speaker 2: full time jobs and side stuff and stuff. We have

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Speaker 2: life too, and we produce this because we know that

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Speaker 2: we want to show up for you, and we made

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Speaker 2: a commitment to you to do this, and so we've

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Speaker 2: been doing it. So kudos to us. Now I'm on

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Speaker 2: on some real shit girl. Snap snap clap.

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Speaker 3: We are doing that, and we need to, like you said,

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Speaker 3: give ourselves a pad on the back and acknowledge that

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Speaker 3: we have been doing this. We are doing this, we

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Speaker 3: are committed to doing this, we have been consistent in

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Speaker 3: doing this.

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Speaker 2: And so before we dive into our shout outs, I

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Speaker 2: want you to take a moment right now wherever you are,

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Speaker 2: whether you're driving, whether you're in the kitchen, why you've

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Speaker 2: taking a bathroom, hey girl, whether you are in tub,

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Speaker 2: I mean, whatever you're doing, take a moment and really

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Speaker 2: sit with yourself and think, what have I done that,

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Speaker 2: I've not celebrated myself for right, and sometimes that celebration

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Speaker 2: like we minimize our goals. Sometimes there are our accomplishments, right,

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Speaker 2: we minimize our accomplishments sometimes, So whether you got your

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Speaker 2: ass up and went through work when you were having

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Speaker 2: badass cramps, or you were going through a tough problem,

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Speaker 2: or you were struggling with finances, or you had a

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Speaker 2: really bad breakup, or you were dealing with some infidelity

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Speaker 2: right in your relationship, or whether you have some health concerns.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we do so much and sometimes we just

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Speaker 2: take it for granted, like, oh, I'm just doing what

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Speaker 2: I gotta do. No, no, no, take a moment and

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Speaker 2: celebrate yourself because you great girl, black girl. Man. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So now this is my favorite part. Right now, we

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Speaker 2: want to shout you out because we read every single comment,

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Speaker 2: We take a look at all your feedback, and we

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Speaker 2: love you so much and appreciate you because we wouldn't

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Speaker 2: be here without you. So I'm gonna go ahead and

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Speaker 2: kick us off. And first I want to shout out

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Speaker 2: Kaleena B from Instagram and Collina said in the comments,

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Speaker 2: I just found your podcast. This was exactly what I

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Speaker 2: needed in my life. Colleina, we are so happy that

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Speaker 2: you are tuned in girl like this made a smile

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Speaker 2: when we saw I'm looking at your beautiful picture right now.

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Speaker 2: And hey, girl, hey keep on listening because we're gonna

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Speaker 2: have some great content for you in season three.

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Speaker 3: Yes, Yes, And then we have a comment from Courtney.

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Speaker 3: Courtney says, just want to say how thankful that I

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Speaker 3: am to have come across your podcast. I've been listening

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Speaker 3: since early February, and you both have helped me grow mentally, spiritually, socially, emotionally, etc.

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Speaker 3: I share this podcast with everyone that will listen. I

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Speaker 3: finally decided to look you guys up on here. I

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Speaker 3: just want to express my gratitude and say thank you

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Speaker 3: for your time, research, and willingness to share and guide

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Speaker 3: others through your podcasts. May God continue to bless y'all always.

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Speaker 2: Can we just take a moment because I'm literally getting

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Speaker 2: teary eyed right now, Courtney, because that take a deep breath.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting teary eyed because I'm thinking about the fact

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Speaker 2: that our gift isn't for us, right our gift isn't

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Speaker 2: for us. So when you hold on and you wait

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Speaker 2: and you're scared and you're not diving into that thing

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Speaker 2: that's burning and your soul and your spirit right that

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Speaker 2: that book that you even know you need to write,

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Speaker 2: that business, you need to launch, that certification, you need

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Speaker 2: to get that course you need to take. I mean,

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Speaker 2: when we don't walk in our greatness like dom and

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Speaker 2: I could have not started this podcast right, and we

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have gotten this feedback. We wouldn't have provided this

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Speaker 2: healing space for the women that are providing feedback. And

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Speaker 2: so when we don't walk into our greatest and just

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Speaker 2: take the leap and feel the fear and do it anyway,

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Speaker 2: we are denying the world of our gifts. Our gifts

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Speaker 2: are not for us. It's for us to help other people.

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Speaker 2: And so Cortney, thank you so much for your feedback. Girl,

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Speaker 2: you got me over your crowd like a little baby.

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Speaker 2: This is so special.

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Speaker 3: That's why we keep the cleanex around.

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Speaker 2: Yes, this is why we keep the clean next around.

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Speaker 2: We just had a comment come in from tco one

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Speaker 2: on Apple iTunes with a five star rating. OKAYTC, thank you,

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Speaker 2: and it says I absolutely love it. Sometimes perfect timing

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Speaker 2: feels like too late, but this is absolutely right on time.

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Speaker 2: You guys are blessing all of us, especially me. I

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Speaker 2: feel like taking on the world now, God damn is

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Speaker 2: that amazing? Or what don girl take on the world?

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Speaker 2: Do it? You got this and we got your back.

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Speaker 2: We got your back, and little do you know, like

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Speaker 2: oftentimes Domina are just healing ourselves, like we're having conversations,

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Speaker 2: and obviously we want to provide value for you, but

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Speaker 2: the fact that you can be healed as we heal

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Speaker 2: ourselves is like amazing, Like it's a win win for

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Speaker 2: everybody exactly.

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Speaker 3: You know, in a future episode, Terry and I will

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Speaker 3: dive into our journeys and what twenty nineteen has looked

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Speaker 3: like for us, O child, we're going to have to

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Speaker 3: have a full retreat, yes, where we.

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Speaker 2: Dive into our journeys and open.

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Speaker 3: Up space for you to share your journeys where we

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Speaker 3: can heal and empower one another and talk about how

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Speaker 3: to continue to be the resilient women that we are.

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Speaker 2: Or I got chilled what you're saying that if you

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Speaker 2: only knew what was going on behind this microphone, when

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Speaker 2: we come up and sew and give of our spirits

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Speaker 2: like you would be I think you would be encouraged

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Speaker 2: to know that. Yo, we're all out here just doing

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Speaker 2: our best, right, We're all just already trying, and we're

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Speaker 2: just showing up doing the best that we can despite

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Speaker 2: what's going on.

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Speaker 3: And so our next comment comes from do Kitten on

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Speaker 3: Apple iTunes. Due Kitten, we thank you for that five

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Speaker 3: star review. Duke Kitten says, wonderful women. I love this podcast.

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Speaker 3: I follow Terry on Instagram and her posts are uplifting

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Speaker 3: and inspiring the combination of these two women brings so

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Speaker 3: many great ideas, thoughts, and concepts.

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Speaker 2: Duke Kitten, you always comment on my posts on Instagram,

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Speaker 2: those quotes. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for

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Speaker 2: the work that you do. We're so happy to have

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Speaker 2: you here. We're so happy to have you here, and

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Speaker 2: we're happy that you listen. And last but not Lis,

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Speaker 2: of course, we want to shout you all out, but

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Speaker 2: we got to dive into our recap and give you

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Speaker 2: some context for some of the conversations that we had

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Speaker 2: this season, and so last but not least, we want

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Speaker 2: to shout out. I believe it's set a mark or

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Speaker 2: either seta Marc one of those on Apple iTunes and

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Speaker 2: she says her space rocks. This is one of the

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Speaker 2: best podcasts in twenty nineteen. The ladies are delightful, informative,

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Speaker 2: and very relatable. Yay, thank you so much for the feedback, Ladies.

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Speaker 3: All Right, so without further ado, let's dive into recapping

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Speaker 3: this past season. So in this season, Terry and I

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Speaker 3: decided that, wow, we love our chemistry, and from your feedback,

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Speaker 3: we can tell that y'all love our chemistry too. But

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Speaker 3: we also recognize that we are not experts in everything.

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Speaker 3: And so part of recognizing that we're not experts knowing

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Speaker 3: our limitations, we decided that we would occasionally bring in

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Speaker 3: guests and so we started off season two with Alisa

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Speaker 3: Bolkin and we were talking about sex.

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Speaker 2: Let's talk about sex, Babby. That episode was so fun.

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Speaker 2: I mean, Alisa, I can listen to her talk all day.

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Speaker 2: I love thought wre on Instagram. She has amazing quotes

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Speaker 2: and I can already think the takeaways and that my

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Speaker 2: favorite parts of that interview. Besides listening to Alisa go

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Speaker 2: in and share her knowledge, one thing that really stood

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Speaker 2: out to me was the fact that trauma can show

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Speaker 2: up in many different ways and the fact that when

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Speaker 2: we don't address those things typically that our inner child

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Speaker 2: has dealt with, right, because our childhood is so instrumental

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Speaker 2: in our lives and a lot of times we just

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Speaker 2: I know, for me at least, let me speak for myself.

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Speaker 2: I have suppressed so much down deep within that now

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Speaker 2: in my life. Even though I may be older on

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Speaker 2: the outside and grown on the outside, a lot of

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Speaker 2: that stuff is still inside. A lot of it is

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Speaker 2: still lodged in my body. And so just trying to

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Speaker 2: work on processing that trauma and how that can also

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Speaker 2: impact the sex life. Right. So for me, that was

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Speaker 2: just like WHOA, That was mind blowing. That was an

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Speaker 2: emotional episode for me because I was going through some stuff,

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Speaker 2: but I appreciated the insight.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that episode, I mean wow, like to have our

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Speaker 3: first guest on and for it to be a topic

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Speaker 3: that tends to be a little taboo, but she made

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Speaker 3: it so comfortable And I think I would encourage anyone

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Speaker 3: who is in the Greater Houston area to check her

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Speaker 3: out at Flow and Ease Healing and to also follow

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Speaker 3: her and her co host on her podcast between sessions

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Speaker 3: and to utilize her directory Melanin and Mental Health, which

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Speaker 3: after our episode was her we started adding it to

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Speaker 3: our show notes. So that you have easy access to it.

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Speaker 2: The one quote that Elisa is she in that episode

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Speaker 2: was we have to call it what it is if

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Speaker 2: we're going to heal from it. Trauma can really rob

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Speaker 2: us of having the full range of experiences in life.

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Speaker 2: And it makes me think about the fact that you

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Speaker 2: can have a woond and if you don't analyze that

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Speaker 2: wond to see what the fuck is going on? Where's

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Speaker 2: the blood coming from? How the hell are you going

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Speaker 2: to heal it? Right? And so even today in life,

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Speaker 2: when we have an emotional wounds, when we realize that

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Speaker 2: we're triggered by certain things, or we hear something or

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Speaker 2: see something and our eyes well up and we get

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Speaker 2: overwhelmed with emotion, and then we just try to go

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Speaker 2: back to life as usual, calling myself out because that's

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Speaker 2: my that's my game I always play. It's like you

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Speaker 2: are not going to be able to heal from what

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Speaker 2: you don't reveal.

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Speaker 3: The last thing that stood out for me in this

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Speaker 3: episode is kind of the opposite of what you're saying

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Speaker 3: in terms of recognizing that a lot of our issues

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Speaker 3: with sex or related to trauma. What stood out for

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Speaker 3: me was sets can also be about play, and I

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Speaker 3: think that is what inspired our next episode. So episode

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Speaker 3: two talked about play deprivation, so what to do when

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Speaker 3: fun is not your ministry? And so one of the

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Speaker 3: things that I think about in terms of our timing

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Speaker 3: in the episodes or our choices in when we air

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Speaker 3: certain episodes. I think for us, it was intentional that

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Speaker 3: we followed such an emotionally heavy episode with an episode

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Speaker 3: that focused on play, something that appears to be the

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Speaker 3: complete opposite, but it's still connected, right, So what that

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Speaker 3: episode talked about was the importance of and the healing

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Speaker 3: that can happen for us when we add a little

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Speaker 3: fun into our life, when we make sure that we

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Speaker 3: make time to laugh.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And if I remember correctly, around the time we

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Speaker 2: released that episode, that was around the time Nipsey Hustle

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Speaker 2: had died, and I know we were debating on if

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Speaker 2: we wanted to dive into the topic of death and

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Speaker 2: if we wanted to talk about his murder, and I

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Speaker 2: know that was that was so like, that was so

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Speaker 2: heavy for me, and I was really happy that we

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Speaker 2: decided to go with the lighter route because it was

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Speaker 2: a even though I didn't know him personally, for a

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Speaker 2: lot of people, I felt like it just it touched

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Speaker 2: us like it hit different. It was just it was

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Speaker 2: just so heavy, and so I was really happy that

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Speaker 2: we had a chance to dive into something fun, something playful,

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Speaker 2: and talk about how you know, oftentimes as adults we

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Speaker 2: don't make enough time for play. And I think a

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Speaker 2: lot of other people did a lot of great content

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Speaker 2: or a lot of other people created a lot of

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Speaker 2: great content around Nipsey and celebrating him. And I know

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Speaker 2: I posted some stuff on my social media channel, So yeah,

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Speaker 2: it felt good to do something like heart. And I

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Speaker 2: know for me personally, I'm still working on intentionally adding

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Speaker 2: play because it gets hard when you're paying bills and

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Speaker 2: you're trying to be an adults and go grocery shopping

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Speaker 2: and do all these things. It's like you need to

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Speaker 2: have some fun in your life. So yeah, still working prowress.

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Speaker 3: On that, yes, And I remember from that episode I

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Speaker 3: talked about my own experience with allowing myself to like

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Speaker 3: have some fun, and I remember after that episode aired,

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Speaker 3: like I try to make a commitment to myself to

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Speaker 3: really own making fun my ministry, even though I know

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Speaker 3: that it hasn't been and in all transparency, fund stealing

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Speaker 3: my ministry, y'all.

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Speaker 2: It ain't hard.

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Speaker 3: It is hard, but I will say that I am

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Speaker 3: more conscious of it, and I am trying to identify

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Speaker 3: the things that are truly fun for me. They might

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Speaker 3: not be fun for everybody else, but the things that

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Speaker 3: are fun for me, and also making sure that I

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Speaker 3: am intentional about what I take in. So you know,

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Speaker 3: this month of June has been you know, there's a

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Speaker 3: lot of documentaries that have been released and a lot

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Speaker 3: of good movies that have been put out related to

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Speaker 3: trauma and criminalization and tragedy in the black community there,

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Speaker 3: and I have had to be intentional on when I

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Speaker 3: choose to consume it, because even if I'm not making

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Speaker 3: fun a priority, I don't want to experience by carrious trauma.

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Speaker 2: At the same time, you better preach, you set that down.

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Speaker 2: I'm with you there. I am as much as I

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Speaker 2: see it trending on social media, as bad as I

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Speaker 2: want to see these documentaries because of it, I think

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Speaker 2: it is important to see these stories right, especially for

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Speaker 2: non life people, because we know this shit, we live

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Speaker 2: it every d M day. But I think it's important

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Speaker 2: for other people to see. I need I think I

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Speaker 2: might need it a little bit of time before I dive,

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Speaker 2: before I dive in, before I watch it, because I

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Speaker 2: know that it will probably be traumatic. So moving on

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Speaker 2: to like a Lighter not Tier. Episode three from season

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Speaker 2: two is all about confidence and this episode was why

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Speaker 2: you might be struggling with confidence and right now this

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Speaker 2: is currently our most popular episode, so we may have

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Speaker 2: to do a confidence session when we have our live

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Speaker 2: retreat in twenty twenty, so be sure to give Domini

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Speaker 2: feedback because again, we ain't never plann O retreat before,

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Speaker 2: we ain't never done half the stuff that we're doing.

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Speaker 2: But guess what, the same way we do this podcast,

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Speaker 2: I bet you we'll pull a bomb ass retreat together

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Speaker 2: because we're gonna have your help. We're gonna use you

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Speaker 2: and your insight, and we're gonna do our googles and

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Speaker 2: we'll figure it out. But if you like the podcast,

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Speaker 2: just know this retreat about to be lit. It is,

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Speaker 2: it really is.

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Speaker 3: Get ready, get ready pack your bags in twenty twenty

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Speaker 3: because it's all Make sure you get that passport too,

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Speaker 3: because you never know where we might be headed. Oh okay,

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Speaker 3: all right, so episode three where we address confidence. This

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Speaker 3: episode brought up one of my favorite quotes that I

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Speaker 3: have found myself repeating and wanting to share with other

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Speaker 3: people multiple times. Our quote came from It's a piece

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Speaker 3: of a quote I should say from Tracy Ellis Ross,

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Speaker 3: and that quote is I am enough.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: Just to bring us back to that full quote, Tracy says,

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Speaker 3: I need to see my own beauty and to continue

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Speaker 3: to be reminded that I am enough, that I am

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Speaker 3: worthy of love without effort, that I am beautiful, that

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Speaker 3: the texture of my hair and that the shape of

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Speaker 3: my curve, the size of my lips, the color of

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Speaker 3: my skin, and the feelings that I have are all

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Speaker 3: worthy and okay, A men to that.

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Speaker 2: And in this episode we talked a lot about how

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Speaker 2: confidence is really subjective, right, and it's also situational. So

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Speaker 2: if you're trying to figure out, damn, how do I

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Speaker 2: become more confident, it's really about defining what that means

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Speaker 2: to you. And the other thing that I've realized I

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Speaker 2: swear the older I get, I just I just have

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Speaker 2: all these epiphanies and I'm just like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I used to think this when I was younger, and

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Speaker 2: I was dead wrong. And I just posted earlier this month,

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Speaker 2: you have to go on Instagram, I posted this quote

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Speaker 2: that because I was reflecting and I've been in my

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Speaker 2: shit and just in this reflective space, and I posted

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Speaker 2: this quote and it says past insecurities around self esteem

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Speaker 2: and confidence resurfaced. But I thought I graduated from this phase,

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Speaker 2: and then I remember that everything needs to be maintained.

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Speaker 2: Nothing is set in and forget it. So just because

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Speaker 2: you worked on confidence when you were a teenage and

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Speaker 2: when you were in school or when you graduated, doesn't

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Speaker 2: mean that you never have to work on it again.

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Speaker 2: We are constantly evolving, and so it's important to put

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Speaker 2: something in practice. And so the last thing I said

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Speaker 2: and the quote was don't beat yourself up when things resurface.

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Speaker 2: It's coming up because there are new lessons or more

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Speaker 2: lessons that need to be learned. And even for myself,

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Speaker 2: I started doing some affirmations and I'm diving more into

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Speaker 2: meditation and mindfulness, and I was so first, I was

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Speaker 2: like so disappointed, Like girl, you you already did this,

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Speaker 2: Like what the fuck? I thought we were onto something else,

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Speaker 2: something new, but it's like no, the same way we

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Speaker 2: take a shower every day, we have to cleanse ourselves

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Speaker 2: and we have to work on ensuring that our self

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Speaker 2: esteem and confidence is where we want it to be

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Speaker 2: based on where we are in life. Right, as our

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Speaker 2: body changes, as our health changes, as we grow, as

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Speaker 2: we evolve, as we age all that, Right, it's a

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Speaker 2: lifelong process. And that is what I've been learning and

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Speaker 2: constantly reminding myself.

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Speaker 3: I think I look at that as we go through

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Speaker 3: phases in life. Right, And if we think about it

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Speaker 3: like this, think about when you buy a car. Let's

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Speaker 3: say that you bought that car brand new, and I

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Speaker 3: know one of the phrase that I commonly hear is

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna ride that thing to the wheels fall off. Right,

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Speaker 3: So if you're riding that thing to the wheels fall off,

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Speaker 3: what happens when the wheels actually fall.

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Speaker 2: Off, you go and buy a new car. Right.

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Speaker 3: So, to me, the way I look at it is

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Speaker 3: we start off with this space of confidence and then

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Speaker 3: we keep moving and progressing.

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Speaker 2: And as we move and progress the.

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Speaker 3: Way we're moving and progressing, the things that we're encountering,

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Speaker 3: we may need to make adjustments in who we are.

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Speaker 3: Our old way of functioning might not work anymore, So

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Speaker 3: then we have to try again, start again, And that's okay.

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Speaker 3: We start, we start with something brand new.

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Speaker 2: That sounds good to me done, and I guess that

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Speaker 2: takes us on to episode four, which is the episode

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Speaker 2: where Down I had our first fight. It was a

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Speaker 2: fake fight, but.

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Speaker 3: I was going to say, if you really listened to that,

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Speaker 3: you know that's not if that wasn't like a real, real.

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Speaker 2: Fight, not at all. But what we did dive into

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Speaker 2: there was conflict resolution, and this was a really fun episode.

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Speaker 2: As you know, we are not actresses by any means,

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Speaker 2: so don't mind the acting there, but it was all

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Speaker 2: about giving you techniques and tools so that you can

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Speaker 2: resolve conflict effectively. And if you listen to that episode,

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Speaker 2: you'll hear that I said that I have my master's

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Speaker 2: in conflict analysis and dispute resolution, and so I was

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Speaker 2: able to pull some of the tactics and tools that

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Speaker 2: I learned in school and share them in that episode.

436
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: And that was a really fun episode for us to record.

437
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,159
Speaker 2: I think we had a lot of fun kind of

438
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 2: going over scenarios and doing a little role playing. And

439
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 2: so definitely check out that episode. If you have a

440
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 2: difficult situation in your life and you're like, how can

441
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 2: I have this conversation? How do I adjust this conflict.

442
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 2: This episode is going to equip you with tools so

443
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 2: that you can have a productive conversation where you can

444
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 2: still be friends with the people you were talking to

445
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 2: after the conversation.

446
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 3: And just to reiterate what those some of those tips were,

447
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 3: because I feel like they were so so important. Terry

448
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 3: gave us seven key tips. The first one focus on facts.

449
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 3: Number two, don't get personal. Number three, recognize the good

450
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 3: number four, remember to listen. Number five, use I statements,

451
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 3: number six, know when to move on, and number seven

452
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 3: establish ground rules before an intimate discussion.

453
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 2: I think that if you really are.

454
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 3: Considering and reflecting on how you engage in conflict, how

455
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 3: you communicate with people, I think checking out this episode

456
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 3: is going to be really, really important. So let's say

457
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 3: that you might be having an issue at work and

458
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 3: you're like, oh shit, I got to have this difficult

459
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 3: conversation with my coworker, go back and revisit this episode

460
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 3: so that it can be a reminder to you of

461
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:30,200
Speaker 3: how to have an effective conversation. So then that takes

462
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 3: us to our dynamic duo episodes five and six. What

463
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 3: I appreciate about this episode these two episodes is that

464
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 3: I believe that we modeled conversations that really that happened

465
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 3: in our community all the time that don't get addressed.

466
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 3: And also a he had reinforced how sometimes our episode

467
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 3: lineup may be intentional, but other times the universe works

468
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 3: things out how it's supposed to be worked out. And

469
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 3: you'll hear me say in a later episode to trust

470
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 3: the process. I legit mean trust the process. And in

471
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 3: episodes five and six we really learned to trust the process.

472
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 2: So in episode five, we had our second guest on

473
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,239
Speaker 2: the show, and that was doctor Janina Garrett Walker, and

474
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 2: we talked about what you need to know about being

475
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 2: black and queer and why, And one of my favorite

476
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 2: quotes from that episode was, as a society, we are

477
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 2: stuck in binary thinking about everything male, female, night, day,

478
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 2: everything is binary, but we often forget about everything that

479
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 2: happens in the middle. But so much happens in the middle. Yes,

480
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 2: there's night and day, but what about the afternoon. We

481
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 2: don't spend enough time in the middle section. And that's

482
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 2: a quote by our guest there. And it was a

483
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 2: very informative session, It was eye opening. It was really

484
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 2: a great just a great episode in general, and if

485
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 2: you listen to episode six. You'll notice that we had

486
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 2: Janina back on the show because there were some things

487
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 2: that I said in episode five that were deemed problematic,

488
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 2: and so in episode six we dove into that, but

489
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 2: we dove into it in a way that allows us

490
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 2: allow us to use the tips from episode four conflict resolution.

491
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 2: And it was definitely I would say, but I guess

492
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 2: uncomfortable would be the right word. An uncomfortable sort of

493
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 2: situation for all of us that were involved. We had

494
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 2: a lot of nerves and we talked about it afterwards

495
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 2: and it was like, girl, you were nervous too, because

496
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 2: we were addressing topics that are one sensitive, also topics

497
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 2: that many of us might have behind closed doors that

498
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 2: a lot of people don't talk about in public. And

499
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 2: we also did a good job I thought of modeling

500
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 2: how to have the conversation in a tactful and productive manner.

501
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 2: And so while it wasn't easy by any means, I

502
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 2: think it was necessary and I just feel so honored

503
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 2: to be to have been a part of that process.

504
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 3: Yes, and I would encourage all of you to go

505
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 3: back and check out those episodes if you haven't already,

506
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 3: and to after you check out those episodes to log

507
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 3: into Facebook and the her space sanctuary and let's dive

508
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 3: into a conversation about how do we engage in discussion

509
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 3: as black women, no matter what our sexual orientation is,

510
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:43,719
Speaker 3: what our sexual identity is, how do we engage in

511
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 3: a discussion.

512
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 2: Where we can hear one another out? And that takes

513
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: us two episodes seven. So episode seven was what do

514
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 2: you wish you could tell your younger self? And the

515
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 2: interesting thing about this episode is that Don was here

516
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: in the Bay Area and I was traveling for work

517
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 2: in New York City, So we had to get creative. Okay,

518
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 2: I had to fly to New York City for a

519
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 2: work event and brought my mic with me and we

520
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 2: made a do what to do because we had to

521
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 2: get an episode out to you. And that episode was fun,

522
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: like I think about what I would tell my younger self.

523
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 2: And we talked about all these different things, right like

524
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: master make girl, monetize your passion, your network determines your

525
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 2: net worth then and connecting with people and things we

526
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 2: tell ourselves about relationships and finances and career. We talked

527
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 2: about so much. And that episode I would encourage you

528
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 2: definitely go back listen and think about what would you

529
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 2: tell your younger self, right, I would say, pay special

530
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 2: attention to the ending, because I think we concluded the

531
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: episode in a way that you probably won't expect, but

532
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 2: it might make you feel really good.

533
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 3: I think for that episode, we can give the listener

534
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 3: a kind of inside scoop on like so you already

535
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 3: kind of alluded to some of it, but I think

536
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 3: we should kind of give them a little bit more

537
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 3: right in terms of what happens behind the scenes. So

538
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 3: you mentioned that, Okay, you were in New York for work.

539
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 3: I'm here in the Bay Area, and we decided we

540
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,239
Speaker 3: made that commitment, like we said earlier, we made that

541
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 3: commitment to be consistent, to put out episodes on a

542
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 3: weekly basis for everyone.

543
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 2: And so what time are we working until.

544
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, let's acknowledge that there's a three

545
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 3: hour time difference between New York and San Francisco and so,

546
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 3: and this episode was also recorded at the height of

547
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,959
Speaker 3: the end of the semester work for me, so I

548
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 3: had taken on some extra hours at work.

549
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: Plus I'm teaching two classes. That meant that I'm working

550
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 2: late hours. So I remember I told Terry, like.

551
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 3: Lady, I'm not going to be home until late till

552
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 3: like eight o'clock, nine o'clock my time, which meant Terry

553
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 3: is having to be up at eleven o'clock midnight for

554
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 3: us to record.

555
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 2: Our episodes.

556
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 3: Usually, when we get together to record an episode, we're

557
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 3: committing at least an hour of our time at a minimum,

558
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 3: because we're having discussion beforehand. Then we're recording the episode,

559
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 3: then we're processing, we're debriefing the episode. Not to mention

560
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 3: we're having technical difficulties.

561
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 2: And let's talk about the fact that I was in

562
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 2: Manhattan in a hotel and it was loud as shit,

563
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: and every five minutes we heard a horn and somebody

564
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 2: yelling outside and we had to keep pausing. It was

565
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 2: so annoying. And you'll notice also that the quality of

566
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 2: that episode isn't the best because we had to make

567
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 2: it do what it did, Okay, but I think the

568
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 2: content is quality. The sound quality, yelo, sis, I'm sorry.

569
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 2: We did our best. We did our best of what

570
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: we have, but that it gives you a little bit

571
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 2: of the behind the scenes, and that kind of leads

572
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 2: into our next episode, because a situation like that can

573
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: be anxiety inducing. Okay, And episode eight it's called is

574
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 2: this what Anxiety looks like? And we dive into the

575
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 2: topic of anxiety.

576
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 3: So one of the things that we talk about in

577
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:35,479
Speaker 3: that episode is recognizing that anxiety is one not only

578
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 3: the most diagnosed mental health condition in the country, but particularly.

579
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 2: For black women.

580
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 3: That is a that is an experience that all of

581
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 3: us will relate to at some point in life, but

582
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:58,719
Speaker 3: also we might tend to ignore because we're taught to

583
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 3: be resilient, we're taught to be strong, and sometimes what

584
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: that made what we take that to mean is ignoring

585
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 3: our feelings, is taking on things that might be too

586
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 3: much for us, and that's what can lead to us

587
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 3: experiencing anxiety.

588
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 2: And that episode, yes, I second everything down says, but

589
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 2: I just kind of get an achy feeling in my

590
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 2: stomach now just because I talked about that police Uh,

591
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,720
Speaker 2: I don't know what to call it. That that inappropriate

592
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: police interaction, police interaction, dis harassment, police harassment, discrimination, driving

593
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 2: while black, all that, And when I listened that to

594
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 2: the episode, I was like, Damn, I sound so lighthearted

595
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 2: and care for you when I speak about that, But

596
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 2: if you could just if you could just hear like,

597
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 2: oh da, let you hear the audio from that night, No,

598
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 2: I should let you hear that. We could even put

599
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 2: it into the show. Yeah that that. I listened back,

600
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 2: and I was just like, damn, I that I communicated

601
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 2: the way that event went well, because just the other night,

602
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,399
Speaker 2: I was lying in bed and I literally thought about

603
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 2: that event and I got my heart started beating fast,

604
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 2: and I was kind of having this experience and I

605
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 2: was just like, Okay, take deep breaths. So far away.

606
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,879
Speaker 2: That was two years ago, but it's still very much traumatizing.

607
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 2: And when I'm driving see a police officer, same experiences.

608
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 2: But the good thing is we did talk about tools

609
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 2: to combat and deal with anxiety and cope with it,

610
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 2: and I still use those on a daily I'm still

611
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 2: taking my deep breaths and meditating, and again, everything needs

612
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 2: to be maintained, and so for me, I think that's

613
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 2: a great way to stay humble. It's like knowing that

614
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,280
Speaker 2: you have to continue to use these tips and tools

615
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 2: that you want to maintain that level of awareness and

616
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 2: comfort and peace within yourself, and that level of awareness

617
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 2: because you just acknowledge that weit.

618
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 3: I was feeling anxious, but my voice might not have

619
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 3: been indicating that I was anxious, which brings me to

620
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 3: that brings me to a point of making sure. And

621
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 3: I've seen this in social media a lot about checking

622
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 3: on your strong friend, and so I think about when

623
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,359
Speaker 3: I hear that, I think about, Yes, let's check in

624
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 3: on not just the strong friend, but check in on

625
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,280
Speaker 3: all of our friends to make sure that we really

626
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 3: are okay. And if someone says I've had this experience

627
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 3: and their body language or their tone of voice doesn't

628
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 3: necessarily match how they're feeling or what they're expressing, make

629
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 3: sure you ask a question about, hey, sis, how are

630
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 3: you really doing? Like what you just shared with me

631
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 3: sounds pretty intense, like what's really going on? And then

632
00:36:52,480 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 3: remind yourself of those tips of how to address your anxiety, exercise, meditatetionation, mindfulness,

633
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:10,399
Speaker 3: grounding and breathing exercises, a healthy diet, asking yourself what

634
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 3: can I control, and most importantly, in my biased opinion, therapy.

635
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 3: And that leads us right into episode nine, where we

636
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:30,359
Speaker 3: dive into what does therapy look like? And like I

637
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 3: willingly admit, I am biased in saying that I think

638
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:39,720
Speaker 3: that therapy is important and if someone in my life,

639
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:48,800
Speaker 3: whether it's professionally or personally or socially, is sharing something

640
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 3: with me that lets that gives me some type of

641
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 3: indication that they could benefit from therapy. Trust and believe

642
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 3: I'm going to make that suggestion.

643
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 2: That episode was fun to record for me because we

644
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 2: got a chance to one really see Don like in

645
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 2: her space, like she was just well, look you see

646
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,760
Speaker 2: you see what I did there? See Dom in her space?

647
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 2: Her space? But anyway, see Dom like really in her

648
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 2: element because you just went in down. You were just like, yeah,

649
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 2: so this is just giving all your insight because this

650
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 2: is your world, this is what you do on a

651
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 2: daily And so for me, it was nice to be

652
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: able to share my experiences on like what was therapy?

653
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 2: What has therapy been like for me? And I think

654
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: if you're in a situation or if you're at a

655
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 2: point in your life where you're considering therapy, you see

656
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 2: everybody talking about it, You're like, what's all this? What's

657
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 2: all this talk? Isn't worth it? Listen to that episode first,

658
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 2: because one thing I really loved about it I took

659
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 2: my own damn notes. I love the fact that Dom

660
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 2: talked about questions that you should ask your therapist and

661
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 2: also how you can vet your therapist, how you can

662
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 2: use the tools that you learn in therapy in therapy

663
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 2: to practice them before you go out into the real world.

664
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 2: And so if you're wondering what's therapy like, how can

665
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 2: therapy benefit me? How can I get the most out

666
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 2: of therapy, you need to listen to episode nine. Okay,

667
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: you're gonna thank us for that, I'm telling you, and

668
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,839
Speaker 2: that takes us to episode ten. Episode ten is all

669
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 2: about music. Music. Music is so therapeutic, right, And in

670
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:24,760
Speaker 2: this episode we talk about one we celebrate Black music

671
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 2: months this whole month of June, whole month of June,

672
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 2: and Don and I really just dive into some of

673
00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 2: our favorite songs. Don laughed at me a little bit

674
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 2: because I here she go. John laughed at me a

675
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 2: little bit because I talked about how my first concert

676
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 2: I ever went to was Kirk Franklin because I wasn't

677
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 2: allowed to listen to what is it? I wasn't allowed

678
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: to listen to secular music when I was growing up.

679
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 2: I could only listen to gospel music and I had

680
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 2: to sneak and listen to rap, and my cousins would

681
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 2: tease me. People would tease me. They thought I was corny.

682
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 2: I don't care. I know that there's a listener out there. Girl.

683
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 2: I know you with me, and you were raised the

684
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 2: same way, and so you didn't know any of the

685
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 2: black music. It's all good. I had to sneak and

686
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 2: listen to it, and later I learned about it. But

687
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 2: we talked about so many songs that were just so

688
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 2: instrumental in our lives. And I'll just name a few

689
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 2: that I shared. One is India Ivory just let It Go.

690
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 2: The other was let's see just find Mary J. Blige,

691
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 2: and of course most of Kirk Franklin's music, and Beyonce

692
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 2: and Solange and all that.

693
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 3: I shared a story of a song that I liked

694
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 3: as a kid that Vesta Williams Congratulations.

695
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 2: And I just talked about how.

696
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 3: Just the power of music in the sense that as

697
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:50,240
Speaker 3: a six year old I was feeling empathy for someone

698
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 3: in the situation that my six year old self knew

699
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 3: nothing about, but just the power of music allowed me

700
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 3: to feel empathy for her, allowed me to feel her pain.

701
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 3: And so we talk about how music can be powerful

702
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 3: in that way of like you can listen to it

703
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 3: through a breakup, you can listen to it for inspiration.

704
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 3: You can listen to it just for fun, you just

705
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 3: want to have a dance party. And we talk about

706
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 3: a couple of other situations in which music may be

707
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 3: helpful for you. And then in our next episode, episode eleven,

708
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 3: we move on to.

709
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: Talk about the controversial.

710
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 3: Topic of hair not just an hair though, and of

711
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 3: course we share one of my favorite quotes from a

712
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 3: song from Ndiri, I Am not my hair because we

713
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 3: really aren't our hair or are we?

714
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 2: Or are we? That is the question. And so you

715
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 2: really want to tune into that episode if you just

716
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 2: want to hear a fresh perspective on hair. To also

717
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 2: give backalid in our experience with our hair. We talk

718
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 2: about some of the nonsense we go through with our

719
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,359
Speaker 2: hair growing up. And I know for me a few

720
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,399
Speaker 2: things that I spoke about there that my natural hair

721
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,839
Speaker 2: journey and also the things that my family said when

722
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 2: I cut my hair and had almost the baldy. And

723
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 2: you know, if you are struggling with edges, right, if

724
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 2: you have thinning edges and maybe you have traction alopecia

725
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 2: like I had, I talk about my hair transplant there.

726
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: I also have some YouTube videos up, so if you

727
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 2: just search for my name, and type in hair transplant

728
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 2: and YouTube you can find those. It's very informative for

729
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 2: anyone that's considering the process. But we just really dove

730
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 2: into what is it like for us to have black

731
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 2: hair and live in this world? And you know, what

732
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 2: does that mean for society and how they interact with us?

733
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 3: Right?

734
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,919
Speaker 2: We talked about what the fuck is good hair? Right?

735
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,359
Speaker 2: If anything going on in your head that's good hair, Like,

736
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 2: the texture doesn't matter, right, Textures are all unique and beautiful,

737
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 2: and so there's a lot that I think stemmed from racism, slavery,

738
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 2: all that, and so we talked a bit about that

739
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 2: and us some really good quotes. So I would check

740
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 2: that out about you.

741
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 3: I would just to also give you an update that

742
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 3: since that episode aired, we were also made aware of

743
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 3: the California's Bill one eighty eight. It was introduced by

744
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 3: Senator Holly J. Mitchell from Los Angeles, and it's known

745
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:36,320
Speaker 3: as the Crown Act. That act basically ensures that trades

746
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 3: such as hair texture and hair style, which we acknowledge,

747
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 3: which we point out have historically been associated with race

748
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 3: and which have a lot of racist connotations with it,

749
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 3: a lot of racist negative repercussions with it.

750
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 2: That bill basically ensures.

751
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 3: That our hair, texture, our hairstyles will be protected from

752
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 3: discrimination in the workplace and in school. So what that

753
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:13,720
Speaker 3: means is that if this bill in fact does become

754
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 3: law in our school setting, in our workplace setting, in

755
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:22,760
Speaker 3: the state of California, we will be allowed to rock.

756
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 2: Our froze, rock our locks, rock.

757
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 3: Our braids, rock whatever style we want without fear of

758
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 3: negative consequences because if someone comes for us, now that's illegal.

759
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 2: That's amazing.

760
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 3: And so hopefully we'll keep you updated on if this

761
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,720
Speaker 3: in fact does become law.

762
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: We're hoping that it does. And that takes us to

763
00:44:55,320 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 2: the last official episode of the season, episode twelve, which

764
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 2: is Oh you bougie? Huh? All about being boogie right?

765
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 2: What does it mean to be bougie? We dive into

766
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 2: what does it mean to be bougie, the negative connotations

767
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 2: associated with being bougie, and we even talk a bit

768
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 2: about you know, when you outgrow people, right, Maybe you're

769
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 2: from a certain area, you moved away from home, you've evolved,

770
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 2: you have new experiences now, and maybe the people that

771
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 2: you used to hang with they just don't fit anymore.

772
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 2: Maybe you all don't have the same values and you

773
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 2: don't have the same interest in sort of how to

774
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 2: navigate those conversations and interactions when you do outgrow people.

775
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 2: I think that's a really good episode because I have

776
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 2: a feeling that if you're listening to this episode, you've

777
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 2: probably been called bougie before. If you listen to our podcast,

778
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 2: you've probably been called bougie before. You probably have had

779
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 2: to break up with a friend or you've let a

780
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 2: friendship fizzle out. And so I think you could definitely

781
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 2: benefit from that episode. And we'd love to get your

782
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 2: feedback on have you been called boogie?

783
00:45:57,920 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: Like?

784
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 2: What does it mean to you? What is your experience been?

785
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 2: Is it a bad thing? Is it good? Is it

786
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 2: a compliment? Like? What do you think?

787
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 3: And now that you've been rocking with us for two seasons,

788
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,400
Speaker 3: we can't thank you enough.

789
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 2: We can't tell you how excited.

790
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 3: We are for things coming up. And speaking of things

791
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 3: coming up, see what do our ladies have to look

792
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 3: forward to in season three?

793
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 2: In season three, we're going to have more great guests.

794
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 2: We are also going to be in the Herspace sanctuary

795
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,680
Speaker 2: a lot more. You can also, I mean, here's the thing.

796
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 2: We have a lot of ideas but we really do

797
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 2: need your feedback, like when we ask you to leave reviews,

798
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 2: when we ask you to leave comments, and we read

799
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 2: them all, like we want to know where do you

800
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,839
Speaker 2: want us to go? Because this is her space, this

801
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 2: is our space, and so we would love for you

802
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 2: to click the link in the show notes requests to

803
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 2: join the her Space sanctuary. That'll be our safe space

804
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 2: where we can, you know, Domini can hop on a

805
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 2: live and go, you know, go live in our group

806
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 2: and have a conversation that's intimate, that's just us, and

807
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 2: so we want to meet you. I will tell you.

808
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,399
Speaker 2: Having a podcast is great, but one thing about it

809
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 2: is you see the views. You see thousands of people

810
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 2: tuning in, You see comments sometimes and it's like, okay,

811
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 2: well what do you think? And we want to know

812
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 2: about you. You know almost all our business, you know

813
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 2: what's going on on our end. We want to know

814
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,280
Speaker 2: about you so that we can build this relationship. Because

815
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 2: if you don't comment, if you don't give us feedback,

816
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 2: it's one sided. So we can only guess, like I

817
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 2: think she likes it. I think she enjoys it, Like

818
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 2: we think we're making it in I think we are,

819
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 2: So we really do thrive on your feedback, and also

820
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 2: as we gear up for season three, we want to

821
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 2: get your feedback, like what do you want to hear?

822
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 2: What do you want to tune into, so that we

823
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 2: can add that to our agenda and we can do

824
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 2: our research and present a nice, valuable episode for you.

825
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: So again, we want to thank you for tuning in.

826
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 2: We are here because of you, and we're so humble

827
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 2: to be in this space, to be in her space,

828
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,800
Speaker 2: and we look forward to meeting you in twenty twenty,

829
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 2: so keep that in mind. We're gonna share more details soon,

830
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 2: but we are definitely interested in hosting some kind of

831
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 2: live event, some kind of live retreat where we take

832
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 2: this whole podcast and the topics that we cover to

833
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 2: a whole other level. You have your resident therapist. Of course,

834
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 2: you need to see a mental health provider. You can't

835
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 2: refer Dom for your mental health needs. But Dom is

836
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,359
Speaker 2: a therapist, just saying and I appreciate that. Yeah, two

837
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 2: seasons and now I've always got to correct me, like

838
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 2: wait a second, put the disclaimer out there because I

839
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:40,360
Speaker 2: get too excited. And then you have your resident motivational speaker.

840
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 2: So like between Dom and I, this live event. We

841
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 2: got you. We got you okay, so we hope to

842
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 2: see you soon.

843
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today in her Space. Please note

844
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 3: that our show may contain conversations about self health, advice,

845
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 3: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no need.

846
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,720
Speaker 3: It's meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

847
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 3: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you or

848
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 3: someone you know is in need of mental health care,

849
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:14,760
Speaker 3: please visit the therapyle Black Girls directory Psychology today or

850
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 3: contact your insurance provider.

851
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,839
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

852
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

853
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 2: Twitter at her Space podcast or check out our website

854
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:35,360
Speaker 2: at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

855
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 2: after me, I release what no longer serves me to

856
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 2: manifest what I desire.

857
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next weekly