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Speaker 1: This is Cole Minor John, this is coal Minor Salm,

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Speaker 1: And we have been digging for stories on the Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying, and

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Speaker 1: we've found some diamonds of the rough, how haven't we?

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Speaker 2: John?

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Speaker 1: That's right? But before we do that, we have to

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Speaker 1: wade through two more minutes of incredible ads from our

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Speaker 1: sponsors keeping us finding more great stories on the show.

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Speaker 3: I accidentally discovered my mother in law's affair and I

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Speaker 3: can't keep quiet about it.

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Speaker 2: You know, accidents do you happen?

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Speaker 3: I work at my husband's family business that builds custom homes.

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Speaker 3: I met my mother in law when she came into

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Speaker 3: the design firm I worked at to pick out some

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Speaker 3: options for a client. She and I hit it off,

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Speaker 3: and after she'd come in a few times, she set

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Speaker 3: me up with her son. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Instruction Timely six forty and if you want to

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Speaker 3: smit your own stories, go to our slash Okay Storytime Separated.

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Speaker 3: So fast forward seven years and I coordinate all the

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Speaker 3: builds and consult with clients on design for the fifty

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Speaker 3: plus year old family business. My mother in law is

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Speaker 3: technically my boss, but we operate a lot like equals,

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Speaker 3: and she's been taking some steps back. She and I

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Speaker 3: have always gone along great, and she has felt like

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Speaker 3: the mother I never got to have growing up. So

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Speaker 3: last Friday, I was packing up to go home and

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Speaker 3: was on the phone with my husband before he got

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Speaker 3: a flight for an annual weekend away with friends. I

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Speaker 3: was distracted and accidentally grabbed my mother in law's computer

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Speaker 3: instead of mine.

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Speaker 2: How do you accidentally do that?

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Speaker 3: She was like, I don't know. They looked the same,

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Speaker 3: and then I accidentally hacked into her computer, all pure accident.

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Speaker 3: I didn't realize it until I was home and went

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Speaker 3: to look up some fixtures for a project in our house.

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Speaker 3: Once I knew, I texted her to let her know

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Speaker 3: to what. She said, no worries. She was unplugging this

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Speaker 3: weekend anyway, and told me to do whatever I needed

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Speaker 3: on it. I was just browsing and unintentionally clicked on

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Speaker 3: a linked email on a store's contact page, and as

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Speaker 3: a lot of Apple users know, that will usually pop

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Speaker 3: up to send an email using your default mail app.

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Speaker 3: I closed the draft, and when I went to close

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Speaker 3: her email app, I saw an email from a recently

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Speaker 3: hired apprentice titled are we can get Away Itinerary?

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Speaker 2: I froze.

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Speaker 3: I realized this was her personal email, and I couldn't

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Speaker 3: help myself but to click on it. I found both

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Speaker 3: explicit and romantic messages between this twenty two year old

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Speaker 3: male apprentice and my married forty seven year old mother

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Speaker 3: in law and boss. I slammed the computer shot and

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Speaker 3: just went to bed, staring at the ceiling for quite

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Speaker 3: a while.

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Speaker 2: I mean, what do you do? Just imagine just saying no,

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Speaker 2: what have I done?

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Speaker 3: My husband was gone all weekend and only got home today.

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Speaker 3: I've been spiraling all weekend on how to handle this.

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Speaker 3: I certainly wasn't going to bring it up to my

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Speaker 3: husband while he was gone, but I went to the

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Speaker 3: office and had to see my mother in law yesterday.

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Speaker 3: I could barely keep my composure. I found every excuse

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Speaker 3: to lock myself away in my office and be busy.

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Speaker 3: Now my husband is back, and I'm wondering what to do.

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Speaker 3: Do I tell him? How do I even do that?

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Speaker 3: Do I go to his mom and confront her? Do

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Speaker 3: I go to his dad and tell him help? And

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Speaker 3: there are some comments and an update, But what do

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Speaker 3: you think Gopie should do this?

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Speaker 2: Is between you and your mother in law for now.

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Speaker 2: For now you found you know, you got to confront

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Speaker 2: her and be like, what is this, you know, and

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Speaker 2: then have her come clean ycause this is her mess.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to make things messier than it should.

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Speaker 2: I did see that comment there which I was going

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Speaker 2: to say, anyway, you need proof, Yeah, you need that.

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Speaker 2: That's you can't.

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Speaker 3: Just just got all the emails.

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Speaker 2: I know it's the computer. Well you never know when

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Speaker 2: they can delete it. That she could have deleted it,

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Speaker 2: who knows, or hide it somewhere else. So you yourself

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Speaker 2: need to you know, need to prove that you know,

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Speaker 2: accidentally stumble on the proof again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, or like take pictures, screenshots and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Something like that. Or record yeah, or record I know

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Speaker 2: that's like one of the one of like the stickier ones,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, you know, record you confronting her and if

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Speaker 2: she admits it, here you go. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Comment was says if you're going to tell your husband,

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Speaker 3: bring proof, right, REPLI says, screenshot everything. If you're tech

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Speaker 3: savvy enough, screenshot on the laptop, open a private browser

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Speaker 3: to email them to yourself, Delete the screenshots and delete

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Speaker 3: them from the trash. Otherwise, just use your phone to

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Speaker 3: take tell your husband. He's gonna know something is off

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Speaker 3: with you, and you'll worry yourself sick you don't tell him.

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Speaker 3: Is there a chance your mother in law and father

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Speaker 3: in law have an open relationship. Your options would be

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Speaker 3: to hire a private detective, or inform the mother in

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Speaker 3: law and get her to come clean, or inform the

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Speaker 3: father in law so he can decide how to move forward,

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Speaker 3: or do nothing. Opie says there's no chance they have

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Speaker 3: an open relationship. My father in law was cheated on

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Speaker 3: in a serious relationship with someone he thought he would marry,

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Speaker 3: and it crushed him. He has always preached loyalty and

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Speaker 3: monogamy in relationships to my husband since he was a teen.

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Speaker 3: A reply says, if you admit to seeing it accident

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Speaker 3: or not, she's going to say you snooped and get

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Speaker 3: mad at you.

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Speaker 2: Shut the f up.

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Speaker 3: Act like I know nothing about anything I haven't been

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Speaker 3: told about, and be surprised when someone says something you

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Speaker 3: know nothing, Swallow it like an adult, or risk being

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Speaker 3: the one who blew it all up to I disagree

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Speaker 3: so strong, terrible comment. You didn't their actions did, but

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Speaker 3: they could blame you. I've been in both positions before

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Speaker 3: and trust the truth will come out, but it doesn't

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Speaker 3: have to be through you not saying keep a known secret,

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Speaker 3: but you weren't supposed to have the computer or click

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Speaker 3: on personal stuff accident or not to her, you snooped.

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Speaker 3: I totally would want to do the right thing and

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Speaker 3: let them know. But you can say stuff to her

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Speaker 3: to swear her without letting everyone know you saw what

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Speaker 3: you did, Like, hey, I know he knows you're married,

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Speaker 3: but have you seen.

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Speaker 2: How he looks at you?

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Speaker 3: Is that appropriate or whatever fits If you notice something

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Speaker 3: inappropriate that maybe before you chalked it up to being

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Speaker 3: a small business or whatever. That's a tough choice, though,

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Speaker 3: good luck in whichever way you choose. And another reply

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Speaker 3: that says, frankly, I would ignore it. It's none of

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Speaker 3: your business, even if she is your mother.

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Speaker 2: These these people, you guys are supporting cheating. It seems

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Speaker 2: like you guys support cheating. This is crazy.

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Speaker 3: It does seem like that. I mean, like, yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: not Ope's fault or anything, but it's her mother in

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Speaker 3: law who she has like a really close relationship to,

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Speaker 3: and also her husband.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, her mom, Like, yeah, this is something you don't

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Speaker 2: keep under wraps for very long.

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Speaker 3: That's also how you know betrayed? What the like the

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Speaker 3: husband feel if you found out that she knew? You say,

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Speaker 3: there's no way they have an open relationship, But you

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Speaker 3: can't know what goes on between them, so ignore it.

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Speaker 3: It's not your responsibility to tell anyone. I so strongly disagree.

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Speaker 3: Compartmentalize work from family and forget you even saw it?

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Speaker 2: How do you even how do you do that? How

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Speaker 2: do you realiz? Do you just have like a forget switch?

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Speaker 2: Did you not hear what Opie said? Like I can

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Speaker 2: barely like look at her?

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Speaker 3: That's insane. That's a terrible comment.

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Speaker 2: Everyone knows I'm going to be off. Two back to

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Speaker 2: back bad comments. Oo.

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Speaker 3: Also, what if your positions were reversed and you were

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Speaker 3: in her position? Again, none of your business?

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Speaker 2: What is that comment? Those are stupid comments. Those are

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Speaker 2: stupid comments. Those people definitely support cheating.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yikes, yikes, I wow, there is an update.

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Speaker 2: Usually we don't get many stupid comments.

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Speaker 3: But those were like three back to back stupid comments.

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Speaker 3: Uh that I just wholeheartedly disagree with.

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Speaker 2: Ah, you snooped, it's your fault? Yeah? What Sorry that

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Speaker 2: someone got caught cheating. That's sorry that I called them cheating. What.

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Speaker 3: No, Honestly, I feel like, in my opinion, your your

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Speaker 3: choices are either talk to your husband or talk to

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Speaker 3: your mother in law.

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Speaker 2: Go to the source, talk to your mother in law

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Speaker 2: and be like you come out with this like you

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Speaker 2: know I yeah, yeah, like I know what's going on.

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Speaker 2: Tell me what's going on, and then we go from there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I shouldn't have been surprised by the amount of

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Speaker 3: people who told me to keep it to myself and

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Speaker 3: that I was in the wrong for snooping.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I shouldn't have opened the email, but I did.

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Speaker 3: So here we are, and here's an update. My husband

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Speaker 3: knew something was wrong after he got home. He can

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Speaker 3: read me like a book. I mean, you know, like,

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Speaker 3: how do you even keep.

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Speaker 2: That a secret? Yeah, everyone's like keep it a secret.

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Speaker 3: I told him I found out something I shouldn't have

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Speaker 3: and told him everything. He was mortified, but as someone said,

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Speaker 3: he's glad I told him because keeping it from him

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Speaker 3: would have been worse. He knew more about that apprentice

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Speaker 3: than I did. He was the son of a family

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Speaker 3: friend and she's known him since he was a teenager. Oh, weirdo,

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Speaker 3: really bad. That sounds like grooming. That's messed up.

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Speaker 2: We don't like groom.

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Speaker 3: Hiring him was a favor to said friend. My husband

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Speaker 3: said he wanted to take him from there, which he did.

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Speaker 3: He went stooping on his own. The computer is company

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Speaker 3: property and he has ownership in it as well, and

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Speaker 3: can log in remotely at any time. He took screenshots

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Speaker 3: of emails going back with the apprentice over a year

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Speaker 3: before he worked here. Then he found ones with someone

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Speaker 3: else that were two years old. He also found records

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Speaker 3: of a second phone and hotel reservations. With all that,

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Speaker 3: he took it to his dad. I don't know how

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Speaker 3: that conversation went, but I do know that they went

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Speaker 3: to get him tested. To add insult to his injury.

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Speaker 2: He tested positive. To all those people who said, oh,

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Speaker 2: don't tell, Yeah, like this.

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Speaker 3: Is why you do tell. I loved to people can

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Speaker 3: get STDs. There are so many different things, like health concerns.

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Speaker 2: I want to know your reasonings, like don't tell, it's

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Speaker 2: not your business.

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Speaker 3: I think it's absolutely ridiculous to not inform people about

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Speaker 3: cheating when you know about it. Yeah, because like things

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Speaker 3: like this, things like this where people can get it, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, diseases not just an affection. Yeah, the emotional hurt,

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Speaker 2: but the actual physical, the.

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Speaker 3: Physical problems that can happen. My father in law joined

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Speaker 3: us for dinner instead of going home, and we talked

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Speaker 3: for quite a while. He was like a heartbroken teenager.

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Speaker 3: He had no idea what was happening. But years ago

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Speaker 3: he had suspicions of her talking to other men. He

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Speaker 3: didn't have any proof, though, and they dropped it after

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Speaker 3: a brief fight. But now with undeniable proof of multiple affairs,

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Speaker 3: he said it's over. He also has a pretty airtight

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Speaker 3: prenup that should make it a pretty easy divorce on paper.

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Speaker 3: The family business is on his side, and in the

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Speaker 3: case of infidelity, she forfeits all ownership of the business

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Speaker 3: and the house they built together. So I'm sorry to

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Speaker 3: break it to you, but coming clean didn't destroy my

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Speaker 3: marriage or my career.

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Speaker 2: Also great prena, yeah, I told my husband.

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Speaker 3: Mostly because we don't keep secrets from each other. It's

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Speaker 3: a foundation of our marriage. But it's almost like reasonable

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Speaker 3: adults put blame only where it's deserved on the cheater.

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Speaker 3: My father in law is pissed and simultaneously devastated, and

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Speaker 3: plans to get his ducks in a row.

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Speaker 2: Before serving her with papers. And update two.

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Speaker 3: My father in law did end up confronting my mother

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Speaker 3: in law shortly after my post. He brought the proof

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Speaker 3: that my husband found his positive STI results, a copy

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Speaker 3: of their prenup and the divorce papers from what he

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Speaker 3: told us when he came over for dinner after he

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Speaker 3: was calm and just laid it out all on the

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Speaker 3: table literally. She obviously knew she was caught and just

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Speaker 3: asked how he found out. He said it wasn't important

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Speaker 3: and outlined what the next steps would look like. He

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Speaker 3: was willing to make some concessions on their prenup if

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Speaker 3: she would come clean about everything and step down quietly

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Speaker 3: from the family business.

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Speaker 2: Ziba went, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think he was so hurt by it all, and

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Speaker 3: he loved her so much that he just wanted this

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Speaker 3: to be done and over and he did still want

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Speaker 3: to care for her. She fought for a bit, but

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Speaker 3: relented so the divorce should go smoothly. She stepped down

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Speaker 3: willingly from the business and moved out, but he did

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Speaker 3: offer spouse to support and their vacation home which she

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Speaker 3: moved into. Both things that were not included in the prenup,

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Speaker 3: but you know what is included with us full episode?

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Speaker 2: It's just like this.

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Speaker 3: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio and search

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Speaker 3: of Pokey story time Easy. But there is a wee

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Speaker 3: bit left to the story. Do you have any final thoughts?

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Speaker 2: Crazy that with through all the muck and the you know,

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Speaker 2: the vial here, he gave her a vacation home.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like, still still being very kind.

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Speaker 2: Also, he must have a lot of money to just

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Speaker 2: be like, you can have the vacation. I think so.

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Speaker 3: I think they presumably the family business seems like it's

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Speaker 3: pretty successful.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry if I've found someone cheating on me, they're

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Speaker 2: not getting anything, getting nothing.

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Speaker 3: My father in law spent a lot of time at

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Speaker 3: our house or going out with my husband, golfing or hiking.

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Speaker 3: He's heartbroken and worried that it's all going a little

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Speaker 3: too smooth, that you will suddenly change her attitude. But

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Speaker 3: I personally think she knows she got caught and messed up,

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Speaker 3: past any fixing it. I'm struggling to come to terms

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Speaker 3: with that version of her versus the one I got

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Speaker 3: to know and love. But there's nothing I can do

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Speaker 3: but be there for my father in law and husband.

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Speaker 3: The two are really leaning on each other, which is

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Speaker 3: heartwarming for me to see. She reached out to me

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Speaker 3: to apologize for putting me in the position and hopes

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Speaker 3: we can still have a relationship. So at some point

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Speaker 3: she found out that he found out from me. I

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Speaker 3: told her not right now, but I don't know what

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Speaker 3: will happen in the future. My husband is my number

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Speaker 3: one priority right now, and that is the end of

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Speaker 3: that story.

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Speaker 2: My sister scheduled her wedding on my son's birthday and

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Speaker 2: she wants us to choose her.

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Speaker 3: Well, maybe your son shouldn't have been born on that day.

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Speaker 3: Poor planning.

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Speaker 2: My husband's sister got engaged in July twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 2: We got excited for her our only son's birthday. Her

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Speaker 2: nephew's birthday is on the twenty fifth of April twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty five. As it is a Friday, we had planned

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Speaker 2: to do a combined birthday party, christening a naming ceremony

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Speaker 2: on the twenty sixth of April to allow people to

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Speaker 2: attend without taking a day off. However, in November twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty four, my sister in law told my husband and

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Speaker 2: I that she was getting married on the twenty sixth

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Speaker 2: of April. By the way, this comes from user silly

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Speaker 2: scone five five five and if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, submitted to the r slash Okay storytime separated.

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Speaker 2: So we told her that it was tricky because it

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Speaker 2: was around his birthday and we had plans. She told

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Speaker 2: us we were effectively stupid because she only gets married

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Speaker 2: once and her nephew's first birthday meant nothing to her.

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Speaker 2: She said we were effectively stupid because of other family

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Speaker 2: members were born on Christmas Eve and they had no

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Speaker 2: problems with that. She also pointed out that one of

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Speaker 2: her cousins shares a birthday with their son, but that

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Speaker 2: means it's okay for two things to be on the

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Speaker 2: same day. She said, we were crazy because it's not

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Speaker 2: like she's getting married on his actual birthday, as the

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Speaker 2: day she plans to marry was the day after his

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Speaker 2: actual birthday, so she probably maybe even took it into consideration.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, yeah, she's like, I'm not even gonna

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Speaker 3: get married on.

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Speaker 2: His birthday, Like I know whose day was yesterday? And

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Speaker 2: we were at a party in the twenty fifth and

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Speaker 2: then the wedding day is gonna be the party for

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Speaker 2: that day, and then we're all gonna celebrate on the

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Speaker 2: twenty seventh. We explained our reasoning for the Saturday date.

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Speaker 2: She then said she spoke to the venue and they

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Speaker 2: would allow her to move her date to the next weekend.

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Speaker 2: But then she came back and said that actually she

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Speaker 2: wouldn't move it because international guests had already booked their tickets.

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Speaker 2: It turns out she had set a date in June,

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Speaker 2: booked venues, and sorted everything out. Plus guests had booked

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Speaker 2: tickets four months before she told us anything. We told

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Speaker 2: her we wished we could attend her whole wedding, but

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Speaker 2: because it's a milestone birthday, the first birthday following a

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Speaker 2: traumatic birth and pregnancy, I have previous miscarriage, we really

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Speaker 2: wanted to press ahead with our plans. We told her

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Speaker 2: we'd do our event in the morning and join her

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Speaker 2: in the afternoon.

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Speaker 3: I kind of think you're the able here be I

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Speaker 3: don't know, like, I don't know if maybe you guys

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00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,480
Speaker 3: will disagree with us, But I why it's not on

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Speaker 3: his actual birthday.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not the act.

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Speaker 3: Just do it on Sunday.

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Speaker 2: What is one more day.

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Speaker 3: It's your sister in law's wedding. Come on the day.

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Speaker 2: Weddings don't happen like you. Sure you can renew your vows,

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Speaker 2: but weddings only do happen once a last if you

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Speaker 2: get divorced. Yeah, shout out to that. But yeah, birthdays

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Speaker 2: happen more. I mean, this is the first birthday. The

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Speaker 2: one year old's not going to remember this. I know

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Speaker 2: you want to make this moment very cherishable, and you

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Speaker 2: want to remember all of this, and you know, love

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Speaker 2: your son as much as you want. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The problem isn't that you should like you should totally

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Speaker 3: nix the whole idea.

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Speaker 2: It's just push it, Just push it a day. We've

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00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,400
Speaker 2: since found out that One she had planned everything while

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Speaker 2: keeping us in the dark for months. Two we were

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Speaker 2: in the last in her circle to know her only

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Speaker 2: sibling is my husband. Three she's actually getting married on

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Speaker 2: our son's birthday the friday, in a civil ceremony. Four

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Speaker 2: she's having a second service on the next date, on

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Speaker 2: the date we planned on our son's christening and birthday party.

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Speaker 2: Five her bridal shower was scheduled on the same day

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Speaker 2: I had my baby shower last year.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, so she's trying to I hmm, okay, maybe

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Speaker 3: maybe we're having a little bit of a hole reversal here.

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Speaker 2: We'll see one date is a coincidence, but now I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure what to think after she took the three

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Speaker 2: dates we've associated with our son so far. My husband

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Speaker 2: told sister in law we would proceed to celebrate our

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Speaker 2: son at his party as everything was in place, but

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Speaker 2: which joined her later. He feels that his family has

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Speaker 2: been clear about not caring for our son again. His

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Speaker 2: sister took around two months to meet him despite living

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Speaker 2: in the same country, and his mom took four months

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Speaker 2: because she traveled a month before he was due and

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Speaker 2: returned three months after he was born. When she went

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Speaker 2: to travel, she asked my husband to leave me at

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Speaker 2: home when I was eight months pregnant with a difficult pregnancy,

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Speaker 2: and go and stay with his dad in another city

378
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Speaker 2: because his dad was undergoing tests. His sister has since

379
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,040
Speaker 2: been very cold and has sent her parents to guilt us.

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Speaker 2: Her mom had a proper whale and blamed us for

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Speaker 2: everything and tried to pressure us. Sister in law since

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Speaker 2: has said that when she tried to change her date,

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Speaker 2: her mom stopped her. It seems mother in law and

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00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 2: sister in law had planned everything out months before. For

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00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,880
Speaker 2: a bit of a background and context, we had been

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00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 2: no contact with mother in law until a year ago

387
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 2: because of her me been encouraging our community and her

388
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Speaker 2: wider family to shun me and as well. She apologized

389
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 2: for it a year ago, but has displayed very concerning behavior.

390
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
Speaker 2: I've been trying to give her a chance. She teamed

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Speaker 2: up with the family member of mine who mistreated me

392
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Speaker 2: because I have a history of a oh no. She

393
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,359
Speaker 2: then went around telling people, including the person who officiated

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00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,439
Speaker 2: our wedding, to take me having been mistreated with a

395
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,920
Speaker 2: pinch of salt. She said, I was divisive because I

396
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,400
Speaker 2: chose not to be around my or allowed their sister

397
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,720
Speaker 2: to force me to be around them, So she then

398
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,840
Speaker 2: thwarted her chance to play happy families with them.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like your mother in law is pretty sucky.

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00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,119
Speaker 3: I am wondering how this comes back around to the

401
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Speaker 3: sister in law.

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Speaker 2: Sister in law as a golden child.

403
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Speaker 3: Yeah, so maybe like they're always try and like thwart

404
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 3: any of your plans.

405
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 2: Like, oh, you should put it on that date. Yeah,

406
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,400
Speaker 2: I put boundaries with my family to avoid further emotional

407
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,920
Speaker 2: because I still have PTSD, and she then tagged team

408
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,080
Speaker 2: me with them and use that information to hurt me.

409
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Speaker 2: After my husband had warned them about how damaging the

410
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,320
Speaker 2: female member from my family was. My husband had not

411
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,480
Speaker 2: known his mother could be this evil. We were heartbroken.

412
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 2: I've been in therapy for six years now. He warned

413
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,520
Speaker 2: her to be careful how she associated with then, that

414
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 2: she'd understand how vulnerable and sensitive things were, but he

415
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 2: did not know she would take that information to my

416
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 2: to then strategize to then destroy me. Yeah, you need.

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Speaker 3: To maybe we go very limited to no contact with

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Speaker 3: your mother in law.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that is pertinent information. Yeah.

420
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like actively working, like plotting against you.

421
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,479
Speaker 2: She went and gave the villain more power.

422
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's time to maybe limit contact with

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Speaker 3: your mother in law.

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Speaker 2: I'm still heartbroken, but I've had no choice but to

425
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 2: keep moving so I don't break down. My mother in

426
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Speaker 2: law has also been cold to me since she's sent

427
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,120
Speaker 2: me an invitation to the bridle shower before it happened,

428
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,359
Speaker 2: but her messages were really cold. It was just here's

429
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 2: the information for the bridal shower, and this is the

430
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,919
Speaker 2: amount you should pay. I honestly think and feel that

431
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Speaker 2: his family purposely put him in positions to choose between

432
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Speaker 2: his wife and them. But now that our son is born,

433
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Speaker 2: it's now about making him choose between his son and them.

434
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Speaker 2: He thinks this too, And because of that, and because

435
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 2: of how important the christening and party was decided to

436
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 2: put a boundary good good. I'm just really sad because

437
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 2: I was so ill when I was pregnant. I was

438
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Speaker 2: bullied at work. They were worried my son was in danger,

439
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 2: and I was hospitalized before he was born, and I

440
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,440
Speaker 2: had pre clampsia and was in and out of the hospital,

441
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,159
Speaker 2: and so was my son. I am therefore just exhausted, vulnerable,

442
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 2: and so very sad. I didn't realize how broken I've

443
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 2: been until I've written this. I try not to think,

444
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 2: because I can't afford to ever break down. Me and

445
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,199
Speaker 2: my husband are all our son has because both our

446
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 2: families show they give zero crap about us. That is

447
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,359
Speaker 2: just background context, But as things stand, my sister in

448
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 2: law has been cold to my husband and myself, even

449
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,960
Speaker 2: at the engagement party she and her parents asked us

450
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,120
Speaker 2: to host for her. We did it because we love her.

451
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 2: Despite everything, she was so cold to us there. When

452
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 2: our son was hospitalized for ten days, she only texted

453
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 2: my husband once and never checked in again. In the

454
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,200
Speaker 2: first four weeks he was born. I used to send

455
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 2: hers updates, but I stopped and she sounded disinterested. He

456
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 2: doesn't check in anymore. He has seen her three times

457
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,360
Speaker 2: in almost a year, and my son doesn't know his aunt.

458
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 2: But I know you, and you and you that you

459
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,399
Speaker 2: can join us by listening to full episodes with stories

460
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 2: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

461
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 2: your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, story time, there's

462
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,120
Speaker 2: a little bit more to the story, but so few.

463
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 3: I mean, this is gonna have to I'm gonna have

464
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,639
Speaker 3: to remove the a whole status that I temporarily placed

465
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,919
Speaker 3: on op Yeah, because with all of the stuff that

466
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 3: has come to light, it seems like it's not just

467
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,439
Speaker 3: this one situation. Yeah, Because again, if it was this

468
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 3: one situation, it would have been like, why can't we

469
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:34,439
Speaker 3: move it?

470
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 2: But I think this is part of agree.

471
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's part of a greater issue where your mother

472
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 3: in law and your sister in law are clearly working

473
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,679
Speaker 3: against you, and I think it's just like you have

474
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 3: to kind of limit contact.

475
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 2: There's no point, there's no point. You don't owe them anything.

476
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 3: I think maybe even no contact with your mother in

477
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,479
Speaker 3: law if she's actively trying to, like, yeah, work with

478
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:56,719
Speaker 3: your abuser.

479
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,400
Speaker 2: I would be no contact immediately if I found out

480
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 2: about that. Yeah, you're just supporting someone who hates me,

481
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 2: has given given me a PTSD. Yeah, and you're willingly

482
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: doing that. Great, that's it's like never talking to you again.

483
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 2: I didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but

484
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 2: I wanted to give a bit of context to explain

485
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 2: why I'm concerned as to whether this was just a

486
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 2: case of bad planning or whether there's an intentive shadiness

487
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: to it. Even if there is, I think we are

488
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 2: compromising by still going to the afternoon of her wedding.

489
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: But her response, which is extreme anger, is making me

490
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 2: wonder if we're being a holes? What do you think?

491
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 2: Are we the a holes?

492
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 4: No?

493
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 3: I think in under normal circumstances you would be. But

494
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,360
Speaker 3: there was no we have a lot of context.

495
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 2: If there was no background context, yes, but since there

496
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 2: is this overlapping boundary of her ruining your son's day

497
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 2: or like just ruining days that you had planned, already

498
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 2: and you know, not giving you that context or giving

499
00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 2: you the time to plant things. Yeah, there there might

500
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 2: be a motive.

501
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 3: I do think that you should have a conversation before

502
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 3: you make any decisions though, with your like, have a

503
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,160
Speaker 3: more in depth conversation with your sister in law.

504
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: You know who should do it, though, husband, Yeah, husband that.

505
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,679
Speaker 3: I'm talking with his sister Kaylee. Have you been planning

506
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:17,440
Speaker 3: this on purpose?

507
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 2: And she might lie?

508
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 3: You know, you don't know if she'll tell the truth,

509
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 3: But it's good to have that conversation before the wedding.

510
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 2: I think we both wholeheartedly agree cut contact with mother

511
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 2: in law. Yeah she was messed up, but that is

512
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 2: the end of that story.

513
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 3: So pretty to jump into the next one.

514
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 2: Right there.

515
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 3: My boyfriend's mother is trying to control us, so I finally.

516
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 2: Spoke my mind, you should control her.

517
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,199
Speaker 3: I twenty four female am in a happy relationship with

518
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,119
Speaker 3: my boyfriend. I put mother in law just because it's easier.

519
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,400
Speaker 3: Todd twenty two. We met in twenty twenty two after

520
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 3: I left a pretty bad relationship. I was in a

521
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 3: physically harmful relationship, and when I broke up with him,

522
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 3: I went straight to a guy in prison not my

523
00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 3: bridest moment. I was twenty one at the time and

524
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 3: felt lost. I broke up with him, then met my

525
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 3: now amazing airplane loving boyfriend, not a pilot, just loves airplanes.

526
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from zealous ideal like eighty

527
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 3: seven seventy three and if you want to spit your

528
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 3: own stories, go to our slash ookay story time separate it.

529
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 3: So when we met, he was in college. He told

530
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 3: me he didn't like college and that he didn't think

531
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 3: he would do well with any kind of degree. He

532
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 3: has never been a classroom type of guy and tried

533
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 3: his best, but even with help, it wasn't working. He

534
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,360
Speaker 3: got so stressed from school he would end up crying.

535
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 3: He told me he was thinking of dropping out and

536
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,679
Speaker 3: just working. He said he always wanted to be a

537
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 3: man that just works constantly. I told him to do

538
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 3: whatever he wants, no matter what. I support you. I

539
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,159
Speaker 3: met his family a few weeks into us dating. His

540
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 3: dad passed away from her when he was about sixteen

541
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 3: years old.

542
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 2: Although I never.

543
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,159
Speaker 3: Met his dad, I always felt close to him with

544
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 3: all the stories he would tell me, plus the pictures

545
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 3: he would share. He lived with his mother and grandmother

546
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 3: and his uncles would come around every week for Sunday dinners.

547
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 3: When I first met them, I thought they were great.

548
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 3: They had me over two to three times a week.

549
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time with his grandmother and

550
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 3: I grew a bond with her. His mother, let's call

551
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 3: her Sydney, raised Todd as a single parent before his

552
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 3: father got and passed away. They divorced. Todd's father struggled

553
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 3: with a heavy drinking problem as well as Sydney. They

554
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 3: both met in AA. Sydney was very judgmental from the start.

555
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 3: I live in an apartment and she owns her own house.

556
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 3: She would make fun of me for not having a job,

557
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 3: as I just moved into the city four weeks before

558
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 3: meeting her son. Don't worry, I'm employed now. She thought

559
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 3: I was stealing her son's money and forcing him to

560
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 3: buy me things. I was happy if we stayed in

561
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 3: my room, cuddling and watching movies all day. The real

562
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 3: problem started after his grandmother passed away. His grandmother got

563
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 3: sick and tried her best to get better, but nothing

564
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 3: was helping. She was in and out of the hospital,

565
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 3: and eventually they had to put her on hospice. It

566
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:51,400
Speaker 3: was extremely hard for Todd. Todd cried day after day.

567
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,439
Speaker 3: His grandmother was truly his best friend. His mother and

568
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 3: him got into a super big fight the day she passed.

569
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 3: We went seven days without seeing each other because he

570
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 3: was taking care of his grandmother. Understandable, he told me

571
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 3: he was going to come pick me up because he

572
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 3: was overwhelmed and needed fresh air just in case anything happened.

573
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 3: We stayed in town, literally a street over. We went

574
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 3: to the park. His mother got mad because we were

575
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 3: gone and she didn't want me in the house. I

576
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 3: didn't step foot in the house. God got upset because

577
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 3: Sydney invited Todd's childhood best friend. She doesn't talk to

578
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 3: him ever. Even when she is in town, they don't speak.

579
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 3: I didn't want to go in because it was a

580
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 3: personal matter, but it felt weird having his childhood friend

581
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 3: being able to go around. His family got mad and

582
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 3: screamed at me and him. Then a few days later

583
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: apologized and had me plan the funeral and the wake. Dang,

584
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 3: they're making you do a lot of work here. Will

585
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 3: also kind of her Yeah.

586
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 2: And you're like, oh, we need you to do all this,

587
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 2: but yeah, own rules.

588
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is just one instance of her being unfair

589
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 3: to me, So I'll make a list. One got mad

590
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 3: that I had work on Christmas. Two got upset that

591
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 3: Todd got me a ring for Valentine's Day, a promise ring.

592
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 3: Three got upset that he wanted to stay the night

593
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 3: or anytime we went on a date, she was mad

594
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 3: she couldn't come.

595
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 2: This is just something like high school.

596
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 3: Every time we hung out with friends, she would call

597
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,879
Speaker 3: him at least four times, called me a moocher, I

598
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 3: had money. We told her that he has cheated on

599
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 3: me asked for picks from another woman, and she blamed me.

600
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 3: I mean, one, that's a separate problem that he's doing that.

601
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 3: But why did you tell.

602
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: Her that this is all this very dysfunctional?

603
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: Right?

604
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 3: He told me, I've never done anything for the family yet,

605
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 3: I cleaned her house when she was out of state,

606
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,239
Speaker 3: cared for her mother when she was sick, took her

607
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 3: son to the hospital three times, and made her son

608
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 3: dinner when he was extremely sick. She felt the need

609
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 3: to hold onto my medicine as well as Todd's and

610
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 3: got mad when we said no, those are just a

611
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 3: few times. Now let's get into why I may be

612
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 3: the a hole I know I am honestly all right.

613
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 2: Spoiler Oh.

614
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 3: For the past few months, Todd and I have been

615
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 3: talking about having a baby. He's twenty two and you're

616
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 3: twenty four, and you're still having problems with his mom.

617
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 2: Some things are not adding up here. Oh, we've ready

618
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 2: for kids. Yeah, I think we need to finish one

619
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 2: obstacle first, and I think that's get on mom's good

620
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 2: side or mom likes you. Yeah.

621
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 3: I have stage four enomitriosis and pcos. Being able to

622
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: conceive a baby is gonna be hard, he told his mom,

623
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 3: and she lost her mind. She started screaming and yelling

624
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 3: and telling us we need a promise to wait until

625
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 3: our thirties. Today I got off work and I've been

626
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 3: thinking about everything that was said. I wasn't happy. So

627
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 3: I sent one last message and this is the message

628
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 3: that OPI sent. I'm gonna send one last message and

629
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 3: then I'm done because this has been heavy on my

630
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 3: mind since last night. You say you don't want Todd

631
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 3: to have a baby for another two years, or until

632
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 3: he's thirty. There are so many health risks waiting. It's

633
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 3: a miracle Todd survived when you got pregnant at forty Okay.

634
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 2: Well she's not gonna like that.

635
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, that's a whole on Opie's that's maybe a

636
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 3: bad excuse. You could say that you just want to

637
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 3: have kids at twenty you know, two and twenty four,

638
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 3: that's fine, But waiting two years is not. Like health

639
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 3: risks developed like around forty, you know, it's not not

640
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 3: gonna develop because.

641
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 2: Of this after two years, maybe because of the pcos

642
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 2: or the end.

643
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 3: Well, but she's saying, but it sounds like her wording

644
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 3: is like literally the longer, like any time.

645
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,479
Speaker 2: As a guest, that's also very true just down the line. Yeah,

646
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 2: it sounds like like like later thirties.

647
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 3: If you're talking about like your own you know, health risks,

648
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 3: that's different. But in general, waiting to you know, waiting

649
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 3: until your twenty six is not gonna.

650
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 2: I think she's trying to get that point across to them.

651
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 2: I think the mother in Lawns is trying to stop

652
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 2: all of that. Yeah, anything she can.

653
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 3: We're not waiting that long. This isn't your choice. Honestly,

654
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 3: it's none of your business what me and Todd decide

655
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 3: to do. He wanted to tell you for your support

656
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 3: of him. I don't need or want your support. Therefore,

657
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 3: if we want to have a baby now, we will

658
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 3: because we don't need your permission to do anything as

659
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 3: we are both adults. Since I've been around this family,

660
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 3: I have realized the type of mother you are to him.

661
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:56,479
Speaker 3: You are extremely overbearing and extremely controlling. You would access

662
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 3: to his bank account till he was twenty two, a

663
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 3: grown man's bank account. That's actually insane. And the fact

664
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 3: that you had forced him to promise, are you actually joking?

665
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 3: He's almost twenty three year old. He's almost twenty three

666
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 3: years old. If he wants to have a baby, he's

667
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 3: gonna have a freaking baby. Oh my gosh, you don't

668
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 3: get to control him anymore. I also know you told

669
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 3: him they'll be live in the ghetto. Who the heck

670
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 3: are you to talk about my place that I live in.

671
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 3: You're so materialistic and so judgmental, it's gross. I also

672
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 3: was informed that you talked about my parents. For one,

673
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 3: my dad doesn't agree with me because he says what

674
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 3: I want to hear. He agrees with me because I'm right.

675
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 3: You have no idea what the heck you're talking about.

676
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 3: Leave my parents' names out of your mouth. I know

677
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 3: everything you said. You aren't a good person and you

678
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,239
Speaker 3: aren't a good mother. The amount of trauma tatis from

679
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 3: you alone is unreal. But you don't want to hear

680
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 3: about that because in your eyes you're perfect. News flash,

681
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 3: you aren't perfect. Don't worry, You'll never have to see

682
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 3: me again. I'm so sick and tired of the disrespect

683
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 3: when I've done nothing but love your son, help your son,

684
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 3: and be there for your son. Because you don't support

685
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 3: him in anything he wants. Why would he want to

686
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 3: come to you for anything? I wouldn't when we have

687
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 3: this baby, because we're gonna have a baby and get

688
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 3: married one day. You'll be lucky if they know you

689
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 3: a are let alone you seeing them have a good day.

690
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 3: That was an intense text. I don't know if it

691
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 3: was necessary.

692
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 2: All I gotta say is too long. Don't want to

693
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 2: read that.

694
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 3: You know what, it'll make you have a good day

695
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 3: listening to full episodes of stories just like this. Just

696
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 3: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up

697
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 3: a story time. But there is a little bit left

698
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 3: to the story. It does feel like Ope's I would

699
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 3: have a little bit naive and also the mother is controlling.

700
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 3: I think both of those can exist at the same time.

701
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: We did get the spoiler alert that it's like I

702
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: may be the a hole in Mark, and I was like,

703
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 2: I know, I am.

704
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you you're aware that that was an

705
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 3: intense text that didn't need to be sent. I think

706
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 3: you could all you could have just as easily been

707
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 3: like distancing yourself from the mother without having sent that.

708
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 2: It could have been written a little bit more maturely

709
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: too well.

710
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 3: But also it kind of it shows that OPI is

711
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 3: not you know, mature yet, which is fair.

712
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 2: You're or was taken over by emotion. And it also happens,

713
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 2: but I mean that's that does happen, Yeah, but all

714
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: it happens any It's really the one thing I was

715
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: gonna add is did Opie run this message through Todd? First?

716
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:11,719
Speaker 2: I doubt it? Yeah, Like, yes, this is your this

717
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: is your beef between mother about Todd's mom. But this

718
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 2: is also like you can't be defending your boyfriend's on

719
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 2: her like that, or like speak for your boyfriend like

720
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: that in that way to his mom. This should be

721
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 2: him standing up for himself and for you too.

722
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 3: But there's a little bit left she has talked badly

723
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 3: about the place I live and my parents. She told

724
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 3: Todd we need to wait either two years or until

725
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: we're thirty. His mother has never been nice to me. Well,

726
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 3: she has, but this is what she does. She's nice

727
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 3: to me one day, gifting me things and talking nice,

728
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 3: then says things to Todd. I sent this message, and

729
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 3: Todd gets a call from his uncle. His uncle says,

730
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 3: she's crying, screaming and shaking because of my message. That's

731
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 3: an intense reaction, but also it was you know a lot.

732
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: You know why because Todd. Todd's got a new mommy nice.

733
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 3: He also told us that she had an aneurysm in

734
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 3: her heart and if she passes away, it's my fault.

735
00:31:59,640 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 5: Oh my.

736
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 3: Anytime I try to tell her how I feel, she cries.

737
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 3: But she can be mean and hateful to me, and

738
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 3: I just have to take it.

739
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 2: Am I the A hole?

740
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 3: It's okay if I am, I don't mind. Comment one says,

741
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 3: not the A hole. You just set a boundary and

742
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 3: the only reason she's so upset is because she is

743
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 3: completely used to walking all of her boundaries and making

744
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 3: other people feel terrible to make herself feel better. Good

745
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 3: for you, on your shiny news spine. OPI says. My

746
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 3: boyfriend even said that no one has ever talked to

747
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 3: his mom the way I did. No one has ever

748
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 3: stepped up to her. His past girlfriends went insane with

749
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 3: her because they never stepped up to her. He didn't

750
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 3: know what her reaction would be. After I sent the text,

751
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 3: his family is now calling me a bad person and

752
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 3: cowardly because I did it over text, but she makes

753
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 3: it impossible to do it face to face. Comment two

754
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 3: says drink consumption, especially excessive amounts, can contribute to the

755
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 3: development of aortic aneurysm, which are bulges in the aorta,

756
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 3: the main artery carrying blood from the heart. The fact

757
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 3: that your uncles share the news of her aneurysm with

758
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 3: you after you try to set boundaries is very telling.

759
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 3: Mother in law owes her poor health to a lifetime

760
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 3: of bad choices. It's her fault and no one else

761
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 3: is not the able. Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, like,

762
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 3: they can't blame you for her aneurism.

763
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's weird. That's on her. She's just looking for

764
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: a scapegoat and lo behold, it's you.

765
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

766
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think this should have been a conversation with

767
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 2: Todd because he's like, no one's ever stood up to her.

768
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like he also needs to learn how to stand

769
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 3: up to his mother, like and which is something that

770
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 3: you you know, learn around that age, Like twenty two

771
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 3: is when you start to become more independent and you

772
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 3: realize like, oh, I actually don't need to listen to

773
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 3: everything my parents said because now I'm my own job

774
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 3: or I have my own place, and I'm becoming my

775
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 3: own adults. Uh So I think that, you know, like

776
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 3: he does have to start learning that, Yes, but that

777
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 3: is the end of the story.

778
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 2: He's John Og host.

779
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

780
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

781
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 3: My relatives try to ruin my sister's marriage for their

782
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 3: greedy agenda.

783
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 4: Ah, they're gonna get ya.

784
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 3: They're so greedy. For context, my family is trying to

785
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 3: get my elder sister, Leila, twenty four, married before my

786
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 3: dad retires next year.

787
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 2: Now.

788
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 3: Mom started looking for grooms when she was twenty three. Initially,

789
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: Layla used to refuse to look at the photos on

790
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 3: the matrimonial sites because she didn't want to get married

791
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 3: this young. And me and my sister used to gang

792
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 3: up and try to convince Mom, but the elders were

793
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 3: all with Mom. Dad was playing the middleman, trying to

794
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 3: please both sides. By the way, this comes from Tiny

795
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 3: Curls and if you want to smit your own stories,

796
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 3: go to our slash Okay storytime.

797
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 2: Servered it so.

798
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 3: Our aunt Amy was the one who started pressuring mom.

799
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 3: Our cousin, who is now just twenty one, was getting

800
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 3: proposals according to her, and she told Mom that she

801
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,240
Speaker 3: has been declining, saying Layla is yet to get married,

802
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:42,399
Speaker 3: so they are not marrying her off.

803
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:42,760
Speaker 6: Now.

804
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: This made Mom tense up.

805
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 3: She thought, what if Layla's marriage happens late and it

806
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,240
Speaker 3: affects her cousin's marriage. When I tried to defend Layla,

807
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 3: they would tell.

808
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 2: Me to shut up.

809
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 3: But it's the elder's topic and.

810
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 2: We're doing the right thing.

811
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 5: Ugh.

812
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 2: How much I hated that woman?

813
00:34:59,280 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 4: Then?

814
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 3: What One night our uncles, my dad's elder and younger

815
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 3: brother let's call them John and Nick, called Dad to

816
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 3: their house after ten pm. We were concerned, thinking it

817
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 3: was some kind of emergency. They called Dad to tell

818
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 3: him to start searching for grooms for Laila. Could they

819
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 3: have not waited until the next day. Soon Dad gave

820
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 3: in and they searched for grooms together. There were some

821
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 3: quarrels between Mom and Layla, but soon Laila gave in

822
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 3: when Dad told her that he wanted to see her

823
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 3: get married before he retires. Why The first proposal was

824
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 3: from a family where the man was working on a

825
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,240
Speaker 3: ship as some kind of engineer. But the place where

826
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 3: they lived was so far and isolated and his mother

827
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 3: lived alone, so there was a huge probability that he

828
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 3: would leave Layla with his mother after marriage, which is

829
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 3: not acceptable. She wanted to work and she didn't like

830
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 3: that man, so we declined. Before declining, we had asked

831
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 3: our uncle Nick to check about this family and the person.

832
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 3: At first, he said he was not a good proposal

833
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 3: since his locality was not known for being good and

834
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 3: his friend's circle seemed bad, so we dropped it. But

835
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 3: after we dropped it, Nick came back again and said

836
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 3: that was the best proposal ever. We said we were

837
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 3: not interested, but he is still stuck with that proposal,

838
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 3: saying that if Leayla gets married to that man, she

839
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 3: would take her younger cousins akas sons for jobs abroad.

840
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 2: The audacity bruh.

841
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 3: His sons were not even in high school yet, and

842
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 3: he wanted Layla to get married to a man she

843
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 3: doesn't like, just for his son's sake. Then another proposal came.

844
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 3: He seemed good in photos. His locality was fine, family

845
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 3: was fine, job was fine. Everything looked perfect except for

846
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 3: the age gap. He was thirty one and Layla is

847
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 3: just twenty four. We were not sure about that since

848
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 3: Leyla wanted someone close to her age, but we told

849
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 3: them to come here. When they came, the man was

850
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 3: stoic as stone. He never talked or even smiled. She

851
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 3: did the talking. She felt as if she was interviewing him.

852
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 3: When he asked her if she was planning to keep

853
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 3: her job, she told him that she had a plan

854
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 3: to quit and study.

855
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: More and tried teaching.

856
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 3: That made the family lose interest, and the man seemed

857
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 3: more job oriented and less friendly. Since his family members

858
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 3: were almost babying him. We didn't get a call from

859
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,479
Speaker 3: them again, so we dropped it. But when Layla told

860
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 3: us that she didn't like that man, our auntie, our

861
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,959
Speaker 3: aunt Amy, and her husband, our uncle John never said

862
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:25,439
Speaker 3: anything about dropping the proposal, but kept telling us about

863
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 3: when we should go to that man's house. We didn't

864
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 3: pay attention. Then the current proposal came. Let's say, his

865
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 3: name is Leon. He works in Dubai, in a good

866
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 3: company and in a high position, just thirty minutes away

867
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,400
Speaker 3: from our home, just like us. He is from a

868
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 3: middle class family. His family came to see Layla and

869
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 3: they liked her. They were the same as our parents.

870
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 3: He liked her and Layla liked Leanto. They clicked instantly.

871
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 3: He had a sister too, and so he was friendly

872
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 3: with me as well. Everything seemed perfect. He wanted her

873
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 3: to come with him to Dubui and work, just like

874
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 3: she wanted. The problem our aunt and uncles found was

875
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 3: that Leon's dad ran a cycle workshop, but it never

876
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 3: bothered Layla or our parents. We knew that Leon's dad

877
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 3: worked hard to teach his two children. He built a

878
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 3: house for them, does farming. Leon's sister is now studying

879
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 3: architecture at one of the finest colleges in our states,

880
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 3: and Leon worked too while studying.

881
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:24,720
Speaker 2: So we understood.

882
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 3: But these three snakes started to call them names and

883
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 3: told my dad that it was a bad proposal that

884
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 3: Leon's dad had the audacity to ask for marriage at

885
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 3: our house, we were like, why are you judging the

886
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 3: family based on the job. Leon is now working in

887
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 3: one of the best companies and has a high salary,

888
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 3: and even though his dad still has the cycle workshop,

889
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 3: why does it matter. What matters is that Leon is

890
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 3: a good person, We'll look after Leila and can support

891
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 3: a family financially. He had all of these capabilities. Everyone,

892
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 3: literally everyone except these three told us why this was

893
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 3: such a good proposal, And from my mom's side too,

894
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 3: they were supporting us. They understood the situation because when

895
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 3: my mom was married off to my dad, the only

896
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 3: thing considered was my dad's job. My dad's family was

897
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 3: the worst compared to my mom's. Dad's parents were just

898
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 3: small farmers, while my mom's parents were government employees. Income wise,

899
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:26,240
Speaker 3: both of them were different. But my mom's parents knew

900
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 3: that they could make a better future together and they did.

901
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 2: They believed in.

902
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 3: Them, and these uncles knew about their family background. They

903
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 3: keep telling that Leon's family is not up to our standards.

904
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 2: They got.

905
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 3: They got really high standards and also really low standards

906
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 3: in other areas. Bro, what standards are you talking about.

907
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 3: We're all middle class families. We're not some business tycoons.

908
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 3: What matters is will she be happy with that man?

909
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 2: That's all that matters.

910
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 3: Leon's proposal was looking into. After rejecting it two times.

911
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 3: Now we find out that Leon's proposal had reached for

912
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 3: our cousin Amy and John's daughter way before it reached us.

913
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 3: But we called them first and are almost okay with

914
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 3: a proposal. Mom thinks that they are posing this proposal

915
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 3: so that they can marry our cousin with him, So

916
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 3: they don't actually have any qualms with him with Leon.

917
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 3: They just want Leon for themselves.

918
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 2: Those snakes, those.

919
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: Snakes in the grass trying to steal your eggs. And

920
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,760
Speaker 3: I don't think it's wrong with Amy's character.

921
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 2: She would do that.

922
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 3: She has the history of being a cunning fox. She

923
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 3: doesn't like when other people find success in their life. Bruh,

924
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 3: mind your business. Amy actually controls johnn Nick. Being the

925
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 3: eldest daughter in law in our dad's family, she thought

926
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,880
Speaker 3: it would give her some power to control everyone's life.

927
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 3: She had made my mom's life a living heck for

928
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 3: some years. Then my mom insisted to our dad that

929
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,760
Speaker 3: they move out. My mom still says that she started

930
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 3: breathing freely after moving away from that, which Nick are

931
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 3: actually scared of.

932
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 2: Amy.

933
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 3: My dad asks John and Nick's opinions before doing anything,

934
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 3: and has been grateful to his elder brother, but they

935
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 3: were never the same to my dad, and my dad

936
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 3: knows it still he asks their opinion about everything. When

937
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 3: Leon's parents came to see Laylah for the first time

938
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 3: this Amy was making up fit in the kitchen as

939
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 3: if Layla was bringing home her boyfriend. The parents are

940
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 3: the boy who our parents found, who our parents called

941
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 3: we're coming to see Layla. Amy tried so hard to

942
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 3: talk crap about a everyone, including our late aunt. She

943
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 3: had a love marriage and divorced. Since it was when

944
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 3: she asked for a second marriage, Amy dragged it off

945
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:42,959
Speaker 3: to the point where our late aunt had to beg

946
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 3: our brothers to find anyone and leave. After finding out

947
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,720
Speaker 3: that my dad is interested in Leon's proposal, Nick didn't

948
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 3: have the balls to confront my dad about it. Instead,

949
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 3: he called my mom's brother and talked crap about Leon's

950
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 3: family and scolded my mom's brother for supporting this proposal.

951
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 3: Mind you, mind you, Nick is a police officer, how

952
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 3: did it even get into it? With his small brain

953
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 3: and confidence, Nick still insists that the first proposal was

954
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 3: the best one. Nick and John have never been loving

955
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 3: uncles to me or Laila, but they are the complete

956
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 3: opposite to our other cousins. We don't actually care about them.

957
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 2: Honestly. Now, my mom.

958
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,839
Speaker 3: Told us another theory. She is too good brow. All

959
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,959
Speaker 3: these theories actually make sense. Our dad had moved away

960
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 3: from his family home with my mom and they had

961
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 3: worked hard together and brought and bought some lands and properties.

962
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:37,360
Speaker 3: When the time comes, it eventually goes to me and Layla.

963
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,479
Speaker 3: Dad also had some property near our family house which

964
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 3: is now currently under three of their names, the Family

965
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 3: House two. When we compare these three families, Dad had

966
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 3: bought some lands and properties more than them, and so

967
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 3: we will get extra properties compared to their children. So

968
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 3: what if we are married off far away so that

969
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 3: we'll never have we'll never come back to look at

970
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 3: these properties. The other extended family members who are against

971
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 3: the Leon stuff, yeah, they're like, what about these matches

972
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 3: where they live super far away, because then they want

973
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 3: they can get the properties.

974
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 4: Oh, I see, everyone is just scheming and scamming over here.

975
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:17,240
Speaker 3: Scheming and scamming snakes in the grass. Honestly, it all

976
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 3: adds up. The first proposal was actually from far away,

977
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 3: two hours from our hometown, an isolated rural area with

978
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 3: much less transportation. It would be so hard for her

979
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 3: to come from there in the future. It was also

980
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 3: one of the main reasons we dropped it. By the way,

981
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 3: you shouldn't drop us, because we got full episodes of

982
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 3: stories just like freaking this.

983
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, just go.

984
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:43,800
Speaker 3: To spot too fi apple poodcasts and I have Readdio

985
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 3: and Search a book a short time. But there's a

986
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 3: little bit tenC weeny bit, did you.

987
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

988
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:54,760
Speaker 4: At first I was kind of like, I don't know why,

989
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 4: but the child and me was like.

990
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 2: Ooh, like this is like a rom com.

991
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 3: Then I saw as a kid.

992
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 2: Where it's like arranged marriages.

993
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 4: I would love to be meeting all these like like

994
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 4: when I was a kid, Like I would love to

995
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,959
Speaker 4: meet all these like eligible suitors, like the a Thermopolis.

996
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 2: I've never seen that one.

997
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 3: You've never seen Princess Diaries too?

998
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 4: Oh oh oh yeah, yeah, I just don't remember the name.

999
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 2: What my man, It's been a while, okay.

1000
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 3: But you know, I mean, realistically, I don't know if

1001
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 3: I would actually.

1002
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 4: Be happy with that, but yeah, I feel like at

1003
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 4: first that's how I kind of felt. But then I'm like, whoa,

1004
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 4: this is a mess, but it maybe kind of feels

1005
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 4: like even more of a rom com with all these

1006
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 4: people scamming.

1007
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 3: This is so sneaky of this family to do. Why

1008
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 3: can't they just get it? Nick has two sons. He's

1009
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 3: the type of person who does all the things according

1010
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 3: to his favor. He insists that during the wedding ceremony,

1011
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 3: when the groom's family stands with us on the stage,

1012
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 3: it will look good in front of others. Remember this

1013
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 3: man refused to go with my dad and mom when

1014
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,720
Speaker 3: there was a robbery and the rented house five hours away.

1015
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,399
Speaker 2: Stanley was busy. WHOA, No, he wasn't. He was home

1016
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:57,919
Speaker 2: all day.

1017
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 3: Amy and John have two daughters who are just like

1018
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 3: me and Layla. Can they not think about how it

1019
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 3: would feel when it's the same for their daughters. This

1020
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 3: is the story till now. Maybe some would find it silly,

1021
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 3: but because of these three people, we have been suffering

1022
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 3: for weeks that have been fights, quarrels, all because of

1023
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,280
Speaker 3: these three people. Oh that's the freaking end of the story.

1024
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 2: Mail.

1025
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 3: Wow wowow wow wow wow, crazy crazy little uh tale

1026
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 3: they got going up?

1027
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1028
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 3: I mean, you guys don't even have to watch TV.

1029
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 3: You just watch your family. You share the share, the well, share,

1030
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 3: the wealth, man share the suitors.

1031
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 4: I insulted my husband's daughter. I don't regret a thing.

1032
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,319
Speaker 3: Maybe she freaking deserved it.

1033
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1034
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 4: So I forty seven female, and my husband, forty seven male,

1035
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 4: got married a year ago, together for two years, so

1036
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 4: it was love at first sight.

1037
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 3: Some backstory. This is my first marriage.

1038
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,720
Speaker 4: I was always in long term relationships but never married

1039
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,839
Speaker 4: and have no children for medical reasons. By the way,

1040
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 4: this comes from hot ad At ninety eight seven, and

1041
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1042
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay story times sup bred at. That

1043
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:10,319
Speaker 4: was until I met my wonderful husband. He has a

1044
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 4: heart of gold. He has been married twice before. He

1045
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 4: is a paramedic and anyone who knows they sometimes have

1046
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 4: the worst job in the world, and that can be

1047
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 4: hard on any relationship. My husband takes his job very seriously.

1048
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 4: He has a way of switching off when he has

1049
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 4: a pretty crappy day, but we're working on that. He

1050
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 4: has three children and he loves them with all his heart.

1051
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:32,920
Speaker 2: The oldest is.

1052
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 3: Twenty four female, let's call her Karen.

1053
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 4: The middle one is twenty male Justin, and then another

1054
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 4: daughter thirteen, Let's call her Emily. She is from his

1055
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,399
Speaker 4: second marriage. All the names have been changed, so now

1056
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 4: you have the dynamics. Let's get into the issue. I

1057
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 4: have had a great relationship with all the kids. Emily

1058
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 4: stayed most days with her mom. She would visit holidays

1059
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 4: and weekends. My husband and Emily's mom really co parent

1060
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 4: great together. We even have a good relationship, especially when

1061
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 4: it comes to Emily. Recently, Emily had to come stay

1062
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 4: by us due to her mom losing her job and

1063
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 4: she could not afford her apartment, so she had to

1064
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 4: downgrade to a single bed place. We have a three

1065
00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 4: bedroom house and her mom is not far from us,

1066
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 4: so it was easy for her to still take Emily

1067
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,919
Speaker 4: to school and Emily could spend more time with her dad.

1068
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 4: When when Justin stayed with us until recently when he

1069
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 4: wanted to get out on his own. He has a

1070
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 4: great job and we helped to where we can to

1071
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 4: get him his own place. I was really sad that

1072
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 4: he moved out. Wee get on great. We would have

1073
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 4: our fights in the beginning, it happens in any family,

1074
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 4: but in the end we would apologize and talk it

1075
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:42,439
Speaker 4: out ad Justin.

1076
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 2: Because Justin and his.

1077
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 4: Dad were always together and his dad raised him as

1078
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 4: a single father. Justin and Kara's mom is not so

1079
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 4: much in the picture. A lot of things happened there

1080
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,879
Speaker 4: that is not my story to tell. So now on

1081
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 4: to Karen. We got on really well when she was

1082
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 4: living with her partner, a single mom to a seven

1083
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 4: year old boy let's call him Oliver, and had a

1084
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 4: four year relationship with a good guy.

1085
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 3: I would pick Oliver.

1086
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,960
Speaker 4: Up from his bus stop and then her partner would

1087
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 4: pick him up after work. If Oliver was sick, I

1088
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 4: would take care of him when his mom was at work.

1089
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 4: I even took days off when they were late for

1090
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 4: the bus and didn't have anyone to look after him

1091
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 4: because he missed the bus.

1092
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 2: This happened a.

1093
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 4: Couple of times, and it was always the partner's fault.

1094
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 4: So recently they broke up when he could not take

1095
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 4: it anymore, being told to be a father figure but

1096
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 4: not having the right to parent him. He was not

1097
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 4: Oliver's father understandable, So in the end she came to

1098
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 4: stay with us so that she could save and eventually

1099
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 4: go on her own. This has been a big mistake.

1100
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 4: My husband said that she does not have to contribute

1101
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 4: to utilities or foods, so she can save all good

1102
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 4: or so we thought. Her boy has some behavior issues.

1103
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 4: He's still what's the bed. We have been to his

1104
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 4: school to speak to teachers and counselors. I have been

1105
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 4: to his school on my own when he was sent home,

1106
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 4: so I have come to know his teachers.

1107
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 3: He even calls me Grandma. Sometimes. He's a really sweet child.

1108
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,399
Speaker 4: When he is alone with my husband and myself, with

1109
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,839
Speaker 4: his mom, it's another story. We have tried to discipline him,

1110
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 4: but we're told that she is his mom and that

1111
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 4: we don't have the right.

1112
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 2: Okay, no problem, we won't.

1113
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 4: I had to take Oliver to the bus stop and

1114
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 4: her to work, and we were always late because she

1115
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,880
Speaker 4: over sleeps or something comes up. She works and then

1116
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 4: gets home to help with homework. She's on her phone

1117
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 4: most of the time while he's doing it, though when

1118
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 4: he doesn't do it correctly, she fights with him. She

1119
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 4: doesn't clean or help at all in the house. She

1120
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 4: thinks that she has the right to take on Emily.

1121
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 4: When Emily gets a bit of annoyed with Oliver. He

1122
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,320
Speaker 4: is hyperactive and has been diagnosed. We understand having a

1123
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,279
Speaker 4: teenage girl and a hyperactive boy is not always a

1124
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 4: good combination, but we learned to live together. We had

1125
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 4: a huge fight one night. That's when she told her

1126
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 4: dad that he doesn't have the right to discipline him.

1127
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 4: Told her father that he was never there for her.

1128
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 4: Oh wow, bringing up bringing up deep sel. Oh yeah,

1129
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 4: she's like, I need to get it all off the chest.

1130
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 2: Oh off, it's coming out now. Yeah.

1131
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,839
Speaker 3: When she was twelve, she stole from Emily's mom.

1132
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 4: Justin saw it. Oh, Justin told his dad. Emily's mom

1133
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:26,799
Speaker 4: confirmed it, and he gave her three smacks on the

1134
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,760
Speaker 4: backside with the flip flop. I know it's illegal now,

1135
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 4: but back then it was how we got disciplined. Believe me,

1136
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 4: I can still remember my mom chasing me with one

1137
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,759
Speaker 4: of those flip flops and being smacked on the butt

1138
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 4: with it. I am still here though, but times have changed.

1139
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 4: Any who. The reason why he was not in her

1140
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 4: life was that she went to her mom and told

1141
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,000
Speaker 4: her mom a bunch of stories.

1142
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:50,760
Speaker 2: Justin told his dad.

1143
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:54,239
Speaker 4: This because she had rules at her dad's home and

1144
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 4: that was not going to work for her when she stole.

1145
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 4: That just made her more angry because she could not

1146
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 4: do what she wanted. Mom was a lot more relaxed.

1147
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 4: Her mom and Karen made a case of abuse against

1148
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 4: my husband. There was no evidence, and my brother in

1149
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 4: law husband's brother is a lawyer. The case never went

1150
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 4: anywhere because they said that they would drop it if

1151
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 4: they could get a long sweet and a bunch of

1152
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:18,280
Speaker 4: other stuff.

1153
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 2: All right.

1154
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 4: Case was dropped when brother in law told them that

1155
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 4: that will not happen and that they were going to

1156
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 4: the officer with the statement. In the end, Karen went

1157
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 4: to stay with her mom and Justin stayed with his

1158
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 4: dad because of what Karen and his mom did. Now,

1159
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 4: Karen is not my husband's bio daughter. Ready family tree. Okay,

1160
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 4: think about it. Memorize it. Memorize it. There's gonna be

1161
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:46,799
Speaker 4: a quiz. He adopted her when she was four. My

1162
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 4: husband met her mom when she was a month old.

1163
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah.

1164
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 4: His brother advised him that it would be better to

1165
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 4: stay away, as if they could run to the police

1166
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 4: for this, what would be next. My husband agreed reluctantly

1167
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 4: and was not involved in her life from age twelve.

1168
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:02,320
Speaker 2: To sixteen.

1169
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 4: Ooh, okay, so she started stealing and then they and

1170
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 4: then he backed away. Yeah, he was like I gotta

1171
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 4: go by then she came to live with her dad

1172
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 4: again when she was seventeen. Now where I am the

1173
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:19,319
Speaker 4: step monster. Karen fought with Emily one morning because of

1174
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:20,840
Speaker 4: Oliver being so hyper.

1175
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:23,480
Speaker 3: I kind of lost my crap.

1176
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 4: I told her that she has no right to take

1177
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 4: on Emily in any way. We cannot do that to Oliver,

1178
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 4: so she does not have the right to do that

1179
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 4: to Emily. That's a good point too.

1180
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1181
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 4: I then went off on her that this is a

1182
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 4: household where everyone does housework.

1183
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 3: She doesn't clean her room.

1184
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 4: She thinks that everyone should bend to her win because

1185
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 4: of what you think your dad abandoned you. I just

1186
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 4: went all out and called her a bee and a

1187
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,879
Speaker 4: suit by the way she cheated on the good guy

1188
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:53,320
Speaker 4: as well as that partner.

1189
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 3: Wow, okay, and I called her a bad mom.

1190
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,280
Speaker 4: I know I'm the a hole there, but at that moment,

1191
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,880
Speaker 4: I was just done with the entitlement and her thinking

1192
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,240
Speaker 4: that her living here is the best thing that happened

1193
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 4: to us. Now she wants to move out with her friend.

1194
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:12,240
Speaker 4: This was going to happen this weekend, but it didn't happen.

1195
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,319
Speaker 4: She is staying with her new boyfriend, the guy that

1196
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:19,359
Speaker 4: she thought was Oliver's dad, but he isn't oh the

1197
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 4: trauma A fair partner, I'm guessing. Yeah, he is a

1198
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 4: sweet guy and absolutely so in love with Karen, but

1199
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 4: she cheated on him with Oliver's dad, so now that

1200
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 4: she is single, she has connected with him again. Karen

1201
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 4: is a really beautiful young woman. Unfortunately I have found

1202
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:39,920
Speaker 4: out not so beautiful on the inside. So there it is.

1203
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 4: There is still so much that has happened. By the

1204
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 4: way this has all happened in two months, I'm exhaust months.

1205
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 2: You need a month of vacation for real, skis. So

1206
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 2: let me know.

1207
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 4: Am I the step monster for calling Karen a bee?

1208
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 4: And we do have some comments and quite more to

1209
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 4: the story, But what do we think?

1210
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 3: Maybe she deserved it, but like, I don't know if

1211
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 3: it's your place to do that, you know, yeah, usually

1212
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 3: name calling is not the wid go Yeah you know

1213
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 3: what I mean, But so so sure, I guess, but

1214
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:15,919
Speaker 3: I feel like that doesn't mean that that doesn't mean

1215
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,279
Speaker 3: that she's not in the wrong exactly. Yeah, like that

1216
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,359
Speaker 3: it seems like she is in the wrong for sure,

1217
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,160
Speaker 3: but like maybe this is something that, like your rosmon

1218
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 3: should have handled a little bit more. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1219
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,399
Speaker 4: Comment number one says from the title, I thought you

1220
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 4: called a child a witch. I was going to say,

1221
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 4: we all know the children can meet total a holes,

1222
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:38,399
Speaker 4: but it's generally a bad thing to stay it out loud. Yeah,

1223
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 4: but Karen is an adult who is absolutely being a

1224
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 4: witch and you finally called her on it. Emily probably

1225
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 4: feels like you have her back, though, and since she's

1226
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 4: the miner in your care, that's a really good thing.

1227
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 4: I know it's his daughter and grandson, but your husband

1228
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 4: went above and beyond letting her stay rent free to

1229
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 4: get on her feet after she falsely accused him of

1230
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 4: abuse and she repaid him by treating the rest of

1231
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:06,360
Speaker 4: the family like rap. Yeah yeah, OPI responds. Our concern

1232
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,400
Speaker 4: is for Oliver if she does come back, and I

1233
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:10,720
Speaker 4: have a feeling it's going to happen.

1234
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 3: We would take them in again because of him. But

1235
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 3: we do have an update.

1236
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 4: Day, so Karen will be back tonight. She phoned her

1237
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 4: dad and so that they will be back today. I

1238
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 4: don't know whether to pick up the rest of their

1239
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 4: stuff or to stay. I didn't add that they still

1240
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 4: have a lot of their things here, mostly personal belongings,

1241
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 4: and when she and her previous partner broke up, she

1242
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 4: only got to keep her her and Oliver's things. She

1243
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,440
Speaker 4: didn't pay for anything in their home, as she told

1244
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:39,480
Speaker 4: her that he would pay for her for their place,

1245
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 4: utilities and such as she needs the money to pay

1246
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 4: for Oliver's school bus and what he needs. Emily is

1247
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 4: staying with her mom for the week until we get

1248
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 4: Karen sorted out or know what's going to happen now

1249
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 4: on for tonight, we came up with a plan going

1250
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 4: forward if she decides to stay. Her dad has told

1251
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 4: her that she needs to apply for a since from

1252
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:02,640
Speaker 4: the school as a single mother to cover the school fees.

1253
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 4: She will pay towards her room and the board. It's

1254
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 4: a lot less than what she will pay if she

1255
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,239
Speaker 4: has to move into her own place, but she will

1256
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 4: feel it. She will contribute to Oliver's fuel to get

1257
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:15,319
Speaker 4: him to the bus and pick him up, but we

1258
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 4: hardly drive except for the shops. My husband has the

1259
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 4: company car when working, so he will pick up Oliver

1260
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 4: in the afternoons when he can when he can with

1261
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 4: the company car, and I will do it if he

1262
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 4: has to be called to a patient. As I mentioned,

1263
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 4: he's a paramedic, and in our country, the paramedics have

1264
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 4: their own four wheel drive vehicle to get to assistance,

1265
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 4: to get to accidents or patients before the ambulance. She

1266
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 4: will still need to contribute to the fuel. She will

1267
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 4: buy her own laundry stuff to wash aliver things, Oliver's

1268
00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 4: things when he wets the bed. We have been covering

1269
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,240
Speaker 4: that in our water and laundry detergent has gone through

1270
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 4: the roof. She will cook three times a week. I

1271
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 4: know she is to help Oliver with her homework, but

1272
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 4: when I picked him up, I would start dinner and

1273
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 4: he would sit by the kitchen tape. I would make

1274
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,280
Speaker 4: food and help him with homework.

1275
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:04,319
Speaker 2: It can be done.

1276
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,839
Speaker 3: You can do things at once. You can multitask.

1277
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 4: If she is not going to be home to cook

1278
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 4: dinner on her night, it will fall on the next day.

1279
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:15,720
Speaker 4: No getting out of it, Gotta take your turn, Gotta

1280
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 4: do it. The new boyfriend does not spend the night.

1281
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 4: There is a thirteen year old here and she has

1282
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 4: a little boy. He can visit until ten, but no exceptions.

1283
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's a very valid thing, very reasonable.

1284
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 4: She will let us know at a reasonable time if

1285
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 4: she will not be home on her days to cook,

1286
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 4: not thirty minutes before she gets home. I start at

1287
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 4: three pm. My husband works from six to six some

1288
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 4: days and some nights. A lot of times he does

1289
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 4: forty eight and seventy two hour ships.

1290
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 3: That's crazy to me. Gosh, man, it works in healthcare.

1291
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 2: He's a paramedic. Yeaheah, that should not be legal.

1292
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 4: Luckily he can sleep at home until he is called

1293
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 4: out as we live two kilometers.

1294
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 2: From his base.

1295
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, but he cannot cook as he doesn't know

1296
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 4: when a call will come in in that time. I

1297
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 4: let him get as much sleep as he can. It

1298
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 4: can get pretty hectic sometimes. We will see tonight what

1299
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 4: will happen? Will she stay, will she move? Does she

1300
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 4: stay or will she go?

1301
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 3: But the terms are there, no changing them.

1302
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 4: I still think it's fair, not just for our house

1303
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 4: to have peace again, but maybe she will learn to

1304
00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 4: grow up and not everyone is always going to be there.

1305
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 2: To cover her when she messes up.

1306
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 3: But you know who will always be there for you?

1307
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 3: Us us Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast or iHeartRadio

1308
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 3: one of those. We've got full episodes with more stories.

1309
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 4: Just like this one. Just sort how many okay, story time,

1310
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 4: search it up. We'll always be there. Okay, Wow, so

1311
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 4: we've got a little bit more to the story. But

1312
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 4: what do we think about this master plan?

1313
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 3: I think the boundaries are good. I think I think

1314
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 3: putting all those boundaries up, putting that schedule up, I

1315
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:49,479
Speaker 3: think it's good.

1316
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1317
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:51,959
Speaker 4: Are we gonna guess that she is going to stay?

1318
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 4: Or are we gonna guess? I think she's gonna go.

1319
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 4: That's too many boundaries, hie, We'll see, let's see. I'm

1320
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 4: also going to add that if she goes and she

1321
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 4: does miss the best for Oliver at any time, because

1322
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 4: she cannot get her time management right, she needs to

1323
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 4: make a plan. We cannot look after him for the day.

1324
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 4: I have always been her backup and she knows it.

1325
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 4: Maybe then she will get herself ready before they are late.

1326
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 4: We all get a butt five. Oliver takes twenty minutes

1327
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 4: tops to get him ready. I don't help with that,

1328
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 4: as it should be her responsibility.

1329
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 2: He is her son.

1330
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 3: He is the happiest child in.

1331
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 4: The morning, already chatting at lightning speed, Emily and I

1332
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 4: are not mourning people, so we take time to thow

1333
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 4: out and grunt at each other to take good morning.

1334
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 4: That's our thing. So having a motormouth so early has

1335
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 4: been an adjustment for both of us. If they do go,

1336
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,440
Speaker 4: I am going to miss chatting in the morning, to

1337
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 4: be honest. And that's the end of the story. So

1338
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 4: we actually don't get an answer.

1339
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 2: The freakingy frick. I want an answer.

1340
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 3: I want an answer, Give me an answer. But wow, yeah,

1341
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:52,440
Speaker 3: she's got it.

1342
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 2: She's got under control.

1343
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. Ope, he knows what what she's doing. Yeah, she's like,

1344
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 3: these are our problems. She's how to fix it, all right,

1345
00:59:58,640 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 3: you get.

1346
00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 2: Your in or your app. Hey, yeah, you can do it.

1347
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 3: Highway, it's the highway exactly.

1348
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 2: Wow, Wow, websy, that's the end of it. Hey, it's Sam.

1349
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

1350
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:13,960
Speaker 2: minutes bads from our sponsors.

1351
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 5: I refuse to grant my grandmother's wish, even if.

1352
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 2: It's her last. Can't wish upon this star.

1353
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you're or whatever. I don't know, let's find out. Hey, everyone,

1354
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 5: I female thirty five have a bit of a dilemma.

1355
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 5: I recently found out my grand has brain tumors and

1356
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 5: doesn't have long to live. Her last wish and all

1357
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 5: she will talk about to everyone is that I forgive

1358
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 5: my mother and we talk again. By the way, this

1359
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,600
Speaker 5: comes from user misplaced mar And if you want to

1360
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

1361
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 5: story times Subburdy.

1362
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 2: The background.

1363
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 5: I went no contact with my mother almost five years ago.

1364
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 5: As the oldest of three, I was parentified from a

1365
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 5: young age. She fully took advantage of my autistic need

1366
01:00:56,880 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 5: to organize and my mature mentality. She was also extremely

1367
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 5: emotionally absive, which presented as either blaming me for literally

1368
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 5: everything that went wrong, including things that happened when I

1369
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 5: wasn't even home, or constantly criticizing my weight. Looking back

1370
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 5: at old photos, I realize I was at most a

1371
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 5: little chubby, not the quote unquote wail she made me

1372
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:23,160
Speaker 5: feel like, yikes, yikes. Sadly, I still don't have a

1373
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 5: healthy relationship with food because of this. My kids and

1374
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 5: the breaking point fast forward to me having kids. I

1375
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 5: stupidly thought that since she loved babies, she might be

1376
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 5: one of those terrible mothers but great grandparents. For my

1377
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 5: eldest John male ten. This was somewhat true. However, she

1378
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:45,439
Speaker 5: did hamper some development, like utensil use, because she liked

1379
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:48,320
Speaker 5: things to be clean and couldn't possibly let food get

1380
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:51,800
Speaker 5: on the easily wipeable floor. I think it's like, because

1381
01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 5: they're learning how to use the utensils, like the food

1382
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 5: will end up like, oh yeah, all around little babes. Yes,

1383
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 5: And so I think it's like no, no, no, no, no

1384
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 5: utensils just shovel it in there, this old school.

1385
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:07,800
Speaker 2: Style that sounds good.

1386
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:11,800
Speaker 5: But with my second child, Nate Ate, it quickly became

1387
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 5: clear that the opposite was true. She wasn't happy that

1388
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 5: I hadn't given her a granddaughter to fawn over. Nate

1389
01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 5: also showed signs of ADHD at a much younger age

1390
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 5: than John had shown signs of autism. Both were diagnosed

1391
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:29,120
Speaker 5: after we went no contact. Soon the excuses started as

1392
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,840
Speaker 5: to why she could only take John. I always made

1393
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 5: sure to take Nate to do fun things whenever John

1394
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 5: was with her. I thought things were fine until one

1395
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:40,600
Speaker 5: of the rare occasions when she and my father took

1396
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 5: both boys on holiday. Nate came back saying that both

1397
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 5: my parents kept blaming him for everything and my dad

1398
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:50,840
Speaker 5: told him, if it was up to me, I wouldn't

1399
01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 5: have even brought you.

1400
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:56,040
Speaker 3: That is so sad. Here's a little kid say that.

1401
01:02:56,160 --> 01:03:01,320
Speaker 5: As a grandfather to the children, that is so sad.

1402
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 5: I stupidly, not wanting to cause drama, assumed it was

1403
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 5: said in a if you don't behave you won't come back.

1404
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:10,040
Speaker 2: Kind of way.

1405
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,320
Speaker 5: So I texted my father saying he needed to watch

1406
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:16,440
Speaker 5: how he worded things, because Nate had come back really upset.

1407
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 5: This resulted in my father completely cutting off contact with me.

1408
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 2: You're gonna tell me how I should talk to an

1409
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 2: eight year old child that's yours? Yeah, come on.

1410
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:33,680
Speaker 5: Immediately canceled the final straw. Not long after that, my

1411
01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 5: then husband asked for a divorce for once. Well, I

1412
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:42,480
Speaker 5: just needed a mom. So I called her crying, needing support,

1413
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 5: and all I got was, so, what's happening with the house,

1414
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 5: because you're not moving in with us, girl.

1415
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 2: We just need support right now.

1416
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:53,360
Speaker 3: This is the opposite of support.

1417
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 5: At the time, my parents' house had two empty bedrooms,

1418
01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:59,640
Speaker 5: one big enough to put up a divider and make

1419
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 5: it a living space. That was the final straw. She

1420
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 5: would rather see her grandkids struggle to find a roof

1421
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:10,200
Speaker 5: over their heads than actually help. Now, I didn't handle

1422
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 5: it correctly. I'll admit that I just stopped talking to her,

1423
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 5: no warning.

1424
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 2: I just stopped.

1425
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:19,760
Speaker 5: I didn't have the mental capacity at the time to

1426
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 5: worry about her.

1427
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 2: I mean, like, honestly makes sense. That's kind of.

1428
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 5: One of those messages you get that just makes you stop.

1429
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 5: That's understandable.

1430
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:30,680
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, very understandable.

1431
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:34,880
Speaker 5: After a couple months of me completely not replying, she

1432
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:37,320
Speaker 5: sent a message to both me and my ex husband

1433
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:40,080
Speaker 5: saying that if we didn't reply and let her see

1434
01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 5: her grandkids, she'd be getting a lawyer in CPS involved.

1435
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 2: What a great way to communicate.

1436
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 5: What Let me see the grandkids that I mistreat and

1437
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:54,000
Speaker 5: threatened to leave homeless, or I'll call CPS.

1438
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:57,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're the one that's not taking care of the kids.

1439
01:04:57,400 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 5: I immediately called my aunt her or sister, who I

1440
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:03,560
Speaker 5: get along with, and she tore my mother a new one,

1441
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:07,800
Speaker 5: telling her to apologize sincerely. The response I got was

1442
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 5: I think what I said came across not how I intended.

1443
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 5: Since then, the only contact I have had with my

1444
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:20,360
Speaker 5: mother was at my grandparents' fiftieth wedding anniversary where she

1445
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 5: ambushed me when I was alone, and at the hospital

1446
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:28,080
Speaker 5: when visiting my grandma, here's my grand's final wish. While

1447
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 5: in the hospital, my grand begged me to forgive my

1448
01:05:30,040 --> 01:05:33,960
Speaker 5: mother and make up. I explained that I couldn't. I

1449
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,160
Speaker 5: told her that it wouldn't stop me from going to

1450
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 5: family events and that I would be civil to my mother.

1451
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 5: But since then, my aunt has told me that all

1452
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:45,160
Speaker 5: my grand talks about is me needing to forgive my mother.

1453
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:48,320
Speaker 5: My aunt begged me to at least a lie to

1454
01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:51,720
Speaker 5: my grand and say I'll try, but I can't. I

1455
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 5: can't lie to her, and even if I did, I

1456
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:55,960
Speaker 5: know my mother would use that as an excuse to

1457
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:57,880
Speaker 5: just come to my house to talk, citing it's your

1458
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,320
Speaker 5: grand's final wish.

1459
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:01,160
Speaker 2: Would I be the a.

1460
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 5: Whole if I don't forgive my mother or lie about

1461
01:06:04,320 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 5: it just to make my grand feel better. I certainly

1462
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 5: have thoughts about that, But Angie, I don't think you would.

1463
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:14,720
Speaker 4: Be the a hole for not wanting to, like, you know,

1464
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 4: do that with your mom. Honestly, I don't think you'd

1465
01:06:18,360 --> 01:06:20,120
Speaker 4: be the ale for lying to your grandma either.

1466
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:22,760
Speaker 5: Well, that's the thing they're saying, Am I the a

1467
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:25,760
Speaker 5: hole for not lying, oh, for not lying.

1468
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:32,120
Speaker 2: A And that's when I say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I

1469
01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 2: think so.

1470
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:37,920
Speaker 5: It's you know, it's like I mean, lying is you know,

1471
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:39,560
Speaker 5: never like it's never like it's like.

1472
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:41,600
Speaker 2: Oh, go ahead and lie, like lying all the time.

1473
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:46,120
Speaker 5: Lying is great, but sometimes in the nuance of human interaction,

1474
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:52,360
Speaker 5: like you need to lie, yeah, and deathbed wish please

1475
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:55,960
Speaker 5: just make up with your mom. My brain has tumors.

1476
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:59,840
Speaker 5: Please love your mom and you just go all right, grandma,

1477
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 5: I promise I'll try right right, And you know that

1478
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 5: the you know, the amount of just like oh, she

1479
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:09,680
Speaker 5: might pass away right then just from the amount of relief.

1480
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:11,560
Speaker 5: Her whole body might just be like all right, And

1481
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:13,440
Speaker 5: that's all I needed to hear turning off.

1482
01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:14,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you don't want.

1483
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:17,600
Speaker 4: To give her like sadness in her last moment.

1484
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, she's just like, can suck it up and

1485
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:20,160
Speaker 2: lie to your grandma?

1486
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, if this is something that she's asking for

1487
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:26,800
Speaker 4: on her passing away bed, then it's like obviously something

1488
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:28,800
Speaker 4: that has been weighing on her that she hasn't really

1489
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:31,480
Speaker 4: talked about that much, Like I think she mentioned it

1490
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:35,480
Speaker 4: here and there, but like that's something that's just always

1491
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:38,240
Speaker 4: made her feel so bad, and so it's like, how

1492
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 4: sad is that going to be for the grandma to

1493
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:42,520
Speaker 4: hear that in her final wish?

1494
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 5: Dude, Like, if you don't give her the piece when

1495
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 5: she passes, she could come back and haunt you as

1496
01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:48,440
Speaker 5: a ghost.

1497
01:07:48,560 --> 01:07:49,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

1498
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 5: So if you want to be selfish about it, do

1499
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:52,640
Speaker 5: it be out of that reason, right, You don't want

1500
01:07:52,640 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 5: your grandma to be a ghost and that haunts you. Yeah,

1501
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 5: on a real level, that's not funny. Just lie to

1502
01:07:57,760 --> 01:07:59,880
Speaker 5: her because it'll make her feel good in her final moments,

1503
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:03,800
Speaker 5: for God's sake. Just because some have said forgiving doesn't

1504
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:06,160
Speaker 5: mean letting my mother back into my life, Sadly, my

1505
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 5: grand doesn't see it that way. To her, forgiveness means

1506
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:12,040
Speaker 5: playing happy families, fully letting my mother back into mine

1507
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:14,800
Speaker 5: in my kids' lives, and there is zero chance of

1508
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:18,799
Speaker 5: that happening. Also, my mother or father has never offered

1509
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,720
Speaker 5: any form of apology because she doesn't believe she's done

1510
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:27,000
Speaker 5: anything wrong. And we have some comments here. Comment one,

1511
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:29,280
Speaker 5: you would not be the a hole if your mom

1512
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:33,479
Speaker 5: takes no responsibility, how can you forgive? There needs to

1513
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 5: be some remorse and a desire to be forgiven and

1514
01:08:36,080 --> 01:08:39,599
Speaker 5: improve or all this is is pretend anyways, what she's

1515
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:43,160
Speaker 5: really asking is for you to tamp down yourself and

1516
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 5: your needs and let your mother and father run rough

1517
01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:49,519
Speaker 5: shot over you. Op says, Oh, definitely, no accountability has

1518
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:52,120
Speaker 5: ever been taken by her. She sent both her sisters

1519
01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:54,760
Speaker 5: when I first went no contact over to try and

1520
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:55,439
Speaker 5: convince me.

1521
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:57,600
Speaker 2: Thankfully, one aunt listened.

1522
01:08:57,320 --> 01:08:59,559
Speaker 5: To my side and was horrified when I went into

1523
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:01,760
Speaker 5: all the things as my mother has said. The other

1524
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 5: happily admitted that it was her idea to threaten me

1525
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:07,800
Speaker 5: with CPS and a lawyer. And yeah, my father isn't

1526
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,439
Speaker 5: great with him. I'm still working out how I feel.

1527
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 5: I spent a lot of childhood thinking he was the

1528
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:14,800
Speaker 5: good parent, but realizing once I hit my teens and

1529
01:09:14,800 --> 01:09:17,519
Speaker 5: didn't want to do the things he envisioned for me,

1530
01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:20,200
Speaker 5: he dropped from the good parent to a guy that

1531
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 5: lived in the same house as me. Comment Too says,

1532
01:09:23,880 --> 01:09:26,679
Speaker 5: your mom is probably whining constantly to your grandmother about

1533
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 5: you being no contact. She's using your grandmother to try

1534
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:32,680
Speaker 5: and guilt you into a relationship with her. Forgiveness is

1535
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:36,240
Speaker 5: up to you. Ignore the flying family monkeys. Don't be

1536
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,559
Speaker 5: guilted or bullied into allowing her back into your life

1537
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:41,120
Speaker 5: if that's not what you want or are comfortable with.

1538
01:09:41,360 --> 01:09:45,240
Speaker 5: They don't understand your hurt, pain and anger. Protect your

1539
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:48,679
Speaker 5: mental and emotional well being and your peace. Consider going

1540
01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:51,160
Speaker 5: low contact with them after your grandmother passes.

1541
01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:52,280
Speaker 2: Take care.

1542
01:09:52,720 --> 01:09:55,000
Speaker 5: I really I want to briefly touch on something in

1543
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:58,160
Speaker 5: that comment. It says they don't understand your hurt, pain

1544
01:09:58,200 --> 01:09:59,960
Speaker 5: and anger, which is true. It's like those are sometimes

1545
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:02,599
Speaker 5: when we go through that, it's like it's really hard.

1546
01:10:02,680 --> 01:10:04,559
Speaker 5: But then the next sentence is protect your mental and

1547
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:08,280
Speaker 5: emotional well being and your peace. But by identifying that

1548
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:11,280
Speaker 5: you have hurt, pain and anger that others can't understand

1549
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:13,320
Speaker 5: and that you have to just like hold on to yeh,

1550
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,639
Speaker 5: that's not good for your mental health well being. It's

1551
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,519
Speaker 5: like when we experience negativity and like negative emotions and

1552
01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:22,439
Speaker 5: you know, like hurt, pain and anger, It's like the

1553
01:10:22,640 --> 01:10:25,519
Speaker 5: ideal situation is to process it and move through it

1554
01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:27,840
Speaker 5: and then have it be in your like let go

1555
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:31,160
Speaker 5: of it where it's now. It's your every waking moment

1556
01:10:31,200 --> 01:10:33,479
Speaker 5: isn't informed by the fact that you're no contact with

1557
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:35,559
Speaker 5: your mom and you don't like her, and that she

1558
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:37,799
Speaker 5: hurt you and that you had you have a painful

1559
01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:40,559
Speaker 5: childhood and you're angry about it. You gotta work through

1560
01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:42,320
Speaker 5: that and then let go of it or else to

1561
01:10:42,479 --> 01:10:45,800
Speaker 5: pay that all that stuff is a detriment to your

1562
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:46,360
Speaker 5: mental health.

1563
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 4: Right maybe they're just focusing on the like working through

1564
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:51,559
Speaker 4: it part and just like that's what to do next

1565
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:52,760
Speaker 4: and right now, just needed.

1566
01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:56,360
Speaker 5: I felt that there was a conflict of interest there.

1567
01:10:56,880 --> 01:11:00,519
Speaker 5: Comment three says this is going to sound cold. Oh boy,

1568
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,720
Speaker 5: it's your grandmother's brain tumors talking. In the end, your

1569
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:07,080
Speaker 5: grandmother won't know the difference. She'll be passed away. Keep

1570
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 5: your peace of mind. You're not the a hole. There

1571
01:11:10,120 --> 01:11:10,839
Speaker 5: is an update.

1572
01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:11,639
Speaker 2: Oh boy.

1573
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:14,800
Speaker 5: Firstly, I want to thank everyone for your messages. They

1574
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:16,519
Speaker 5: have made me feel a lot better at my decision

1575
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:17,280
Speaker 5: not to lie.

1576
01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:18,000
Speaker 2: Dah.

1577
01:11:18,080 --> 01:11:21,800
Speaker 5: Interesting last night, my youngest cousin, Sarah, from the aunt

1578
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:24,479
Speaker 5: I do talk with, surprise me with a visit at

1579
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:27,559
Speaker 5: around eight thirty. She had just come from visiting our

1580
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 5: grand Along with asking when I was next visiting, she

1581
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:33,439
Speaker 5: again brought up the idea of me lying to my

1582
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:36,880
Speaker 5: grand I won't lie. I ended up in tears, saying

1583
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:40,160
Speaker 5: this felt very much like emotional blackmail. She insisted that

1584
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:42,880
Speaker 5: wasn't the intention, and that they all just hated seeing

1585
01:11:42,920 --> 01:11:46,040
Speaker 5: my grand so focused and upset about this. I explained

1586
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:48,160
Speaker 5: that I wouldn't be lying to her, not only because

1587
01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:50,240
Speaker 5: I didn't think it was right, but also because I

1588
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:52,040
Speaker 5: knew my mother would take advantage of it.

1589
01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:53,679
Speaker 2: I don't want to see her again.

1590
01:11:53,800 --> 01:11:55,920
Speaker 5: I told Sarah how I've spent the majority of my

1591
01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:58,759
Speaker 5: life bottling up emotions to be there for everyone else,

1592
01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:01,840
Speaker 5: but I just can't do it anymore. Having them show

1593
01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:05,040
Speaker 5: up unannounced, especially so close to my kids' bedtime, just

1594
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:07,240
Speaker 5: to pressure me into lying, was making me not want

1595
01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:09,559
Speaker 5: to visit my gran at all. They weren't letting me

1596
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:13,960
Speaker 5: grieve and process my grand's impending passing. Her response was

1597
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,320
Speaker 5: to tell me that if I didn't visit, my granddad

1598
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,880
Speaker 5: would hate me. She knows I'm closest to him. Then

1599
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:20,920
Speaker 5: she pointed at my house and said, you have two

1600
01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:23,320
Speaker 5: kids in there, and we're the only part of the

1601
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:25,920
Speaker 5: family they talked to. We wouldn't be there if you

1602
01:12:26,080 --> 01:12:29,280
Speaker 5: don't go. I immediately told you to leave and called

1603
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:32,320
Speaker 5: her out for that statement. And by the way, I'm

1604
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:35,559
Speaker 5: calling out this statement as true. You can listen to

1605
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:40,640
Speaker 5: full episodes with stories just like this on Spotify. iHeartRadio,

1606
01:12:40,680 --> 01:12:44,360
Speaker 5: Apple podcasts wherever you listen to podcasts, just search okay, storytime.

1607
01:12:44,600 --> 01:12:47,519
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's all you gotta do. He's busy. You

1608
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:51,080
Speaker 2: can listen to your ears pop off your head exactly,

1609
01:12:51,280 --> 01:12:53,880
Speaker 2: you know, which has not happened anytime soon.

1610
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:56,840
Speaker 5: I hope we have a little more story left, Angie,

1611
01:12:56,880 --> 01:12:58,720
Speaker 5: are you lying to Grandma?

1612
01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:00,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm lying to Grandma.

1613
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:03,800
Speaker 4: I'm pro lying, and then, just like you know, being

1614
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,559
Speaker 4: honest with everyone else, play it up as the Grandma

1615
01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:08,800
Speaker 4: is like still alive, and then once once she goes,

1616
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:11,960
Speaker 4: be like yes, psike everyone Zike, don't want to see you,

1617
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:13,640
Speaker 4: don't like your relationship.

1618
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,559
Speaker 2: I just wanted her to feel better.

1619
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:21,880
Speaker 5: Right, I was just looking out for a passing elders'

1620
01:13:22,640 --> 01:13:23,560
Speaker 5: final wishes.

1621
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:25,920
Speaker 3: I'm just doing that for Grandma and Grandma only, not

1622
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:27,639
Speaker 3: for any of you, just her.

1623
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:30,200
Speaker 2: Let's get into the end of the story. Despite how

1624
01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 2: that made me feel, I'm planning to.

1625
01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:34,280
Speaker 5: Go tomorrow on my own to see my grand I'm

1626
01:13:34,320 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 5: hoping that because of what happened, they won't plan on

1627
01:13:37,200 --> 01:13:38,000
Speaker 5: ganging up on me.

1628
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:38,719
Speaker 2: While I'm there.

1629
01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:41,240
Speaker 5: My plan is to just tell my grand how much

1630
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:43,479
Speaker 5: the kids and I love her and distract her with

1631
01:13:43,560 --> 01:13:46,519
Speaker 5: more cheerful talk. If the subject of my mother has

1632
01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:49,040
Speaker 5: brought up, I plan to simply say that I can't

1633
01:13:49,160 --> 01:13:54,640
Speaker 5: forgive somebody who has never apologized or taken accountability, and

1634
01:13:54,680 --> 01:13:55,120
Speaker 5: that is.

1635
01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:56,120
Speaker 2: The end of that story.

1636
01:13:56,160 --> 01:13:58,519
Speaker 5: And I wish I could shout at the top of

1637
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:03,400
Speaker 5: my freaking lungs, Wow, that feels like the wrong place

1638
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:07,120
Speaker 5: to make your last stand. My guy, anything to give

1639
01:14:07,160 --> 01:14:09,519
Speaker 5: her some semblance of peace or relief.

1640
01:14:09,720 --> 01:14:13,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll think about it. You know, we'll see how

1641
01:14:13,360 --> 01:14:15,519
Speaker 4: that's gonna go. You know what I mean, Like, you

1642
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:18,000
Speaker 4: don't have to be like, yes, I'll do that. You're welcome,

1643
01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:19,600
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like you can find a

1644
01:14:19,640 --> 01:14:20,479
Speaker 4: happy medium.

1645
01:14:20,680 --> 01:14:23,479
Speaker 2: I feel with that. Yeah, I don't agree that distraught

1646
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:24,720
Speaker 2: about it. If she was like, I.

1647
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:26,720
Speaker 6: Need you to come and sit in front of me

1648
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:30,320
Speaker 6: and talk for five hours, yeah, about everything, then it'd

1649
01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:32,000
Speaker 6: be like, well, Grandma, I can't do that, but I

1650
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:35,680
Speaker 6: can try. I can try to be okay with her, Yeah.

1651
01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:38,679
Speaker 2: And we'll move forward. We'll try to move forward starting

1652
01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:40,959
Speaker 2: over at zero. Yeah, Yeah, exactly.

1653
01:14:41,240 --> 01:14:44,000
Speaker 5: I mean honestly, like again, not speaking to his situation,

1654
01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:46,720
Speaker 5: but in most cases that's usually a good way to

1655
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:47,200
Speaker 5: go about it.

1656
01:14:47,439 --> 01:14:49,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I agree,