Speaker 1: Just because you take the road let's traveled, don't mean
Speaker 1: it's the wrong road.
Speaker 2: And also listen to your big sister.
Speaker 3: Just because it took you a little bit longer doesn't
Speaker 3: necessarily mean you failed.
Speaker 2: Okay, now, baby dead ass.
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 4: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.
Speaker 5: Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 2: Wait, I make you need therapy most days.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 5: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 6: Yes, sir, we are.
Speaker 4: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 4: li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 5: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 6: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 6: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 6: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 6: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 6: We about to take philos off to our whole new level.
Speaker 5: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 2: All right, story time? See what I did? Was I
Speaker 2: tell her the story time?
Speaker 1: I was going to tell the ahead of time. I
Speaker 1: should have just shocked you with it. But this one
Speaker 1: is a story that we tell fairly often when we
Speaker 1: just reminisce with Sakaria and I say, we meeting de
Speaker 1: Val and I we just reminisce about how far she's come.
Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know, Sakari is ten
Speaker 1: years younger than me. So in many ways, of course, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm her older sister, but it's also giving daughters. I
Speaker 1: raised her, it's giving My parents just placed her in
Speaker 1: my care and here we are, right, so I will
Speaker 1: never forget this. One particular night, I am in our
Speaker 1: apartment in Brooklyn with Deval. We are asleep in bed
Speaker 1: and then my phone rings and it's about two thirty
Speaker 1: in the morning. So you know when your phone rings,
Speaker 1: it like those hours of the morning. It's something's wrong,
Speaker 1: somebody's dead, something happened, like you go into it's an
Speaker 1: instant state of panic. Right, So my heart is like
Speaker 1: pumping because I see Sakari is calling me at two
Speaker 1: thirty in the morning, and I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I answer the phone and I'm like, hey, is
Speaker 1: everything okay. All I hear on the other end of
Speaker 1: the phone is I'm like, oh my god, Sakari, are
Speaker 1: you okay? Zakari Zakari and Daval jumps up and he's like,
Speaker 1: is everything okay, what's the matter. So I put her
Speaker 1: on speakerphone and all we hear is sniffling and crying,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Sakari, where are you?
Speaker 2: Are you okay? It's two thirty in the morning. You're
Speaker 2: making me nervous.
Speaker 1: And she's like, I have nothing. And we were like,
Speaker 1: what what do you mean you have nothing? And she's like,
Speaker 1: I have nothing.
Speaker 2: I have nothing. I didn't get into these schools. I
Speaker 2: don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know what
Speaker 2: we're gonna tell mom.
Speaker 1: I have nothing, and she just starts bawling on the phone.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So Deval and I are like, okay, at least she breathing.
Speaker 1: At least she's safe, you know, nothing happened. And We're
Speaker 1: like and at this point now I'm like, Sakari, like
Speaker 1: get a hold of yourself, get it together.
Speaker 2: So like stern, mom kicks in and I'm like, get
Speaker 2: it together. Not coming about that conversation.
Speaker 1: I said, get it together, stop crying. I said, You're
Speaker 1: gonna be fine. But it's also two thirty in the morning, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to call you back as long as
Speaker 1: I know you're okay, we can discuss this and we
Speaker 1: can hash this out tomorrow.
Speaker 2: So she's like, okay, and then she hangs up the phone.
Speaker 1: So I'm sitting there looking at the van, Devals looking
Speaker 1: at me, and my heart is raising because of course
Speaker 1: it's the adrenaline of the moment, like thinking something's wrong.
Speaker 2: And Devall's like, what the fuck is she talking about?
Speaker 2: And that's a devil.
Speaker 1: I have no idea, I said, but she's gonna come
Speaker 1: by tomorrow and we're gonna figure out what's going on.
Speaker 1: So so said, so done. Sakari comes back over the
Speaker 1: next day. I think you're Ri Tristan as well to
Speaker 1: our brother. Yeah, so the four of us got to
Speaker 1: sit and chat. At this point, you were how old?
Speaker 3: I was sixteen sixteen, almost seventeen seventeen.
Speaker 1: So right, so she was seventeen years old at the time,
Speaker 1: and she pretty much you were confused about what you
Speaker 1: were going to do with your life, where you were
Speaker 1: gonna be, what was gonna happen. So Deval and I
Speaker 1: took the time to just sit with her, calm her down,
Speaker 1: and just devise a plan. Because one thing y'all know
Speaker 1: about Dvalini and you know too, we're going to try
Speaker 1: to devise a plan. So we're gonna we're gonna just
Speaker 1: get Sakari's perspective of where her mind was when we
Speaker 1: talk about this story time, being seventeen, feeling confused, not
Speaker 1: knowing what she was going to do next in life,
Speaker 1: that intimidating feeling of being you know what's next? Right, So, uh,
Speaker 1: we're going to get into it after karaoke time.
Speaker 5: All right, karaoke time.
Speaker 1: I was so looking forward to this one because y'all know,
Speaker 1: typically with karaoke time, I'll do something with Deval that
Speaker 1: has to do with the show, or then sometimes we'll
Speaker 1: just do whatever our favorite song is at the time. However,
Speaker 1: to know us, meaning to know Tristan Sakari and I
Speaker 1: Tristan is our brother, is to know that this is
Speaker 1: our actual theme song like them. When this comes on,
Speaker 1: it's an anthem like when, and it's been this way
Speaker 1: for years now, I think since.
Speaker 2: The song came out. So you're ready for Sari, it's ready?
Speaker 2: All right? Hey, Hey, parton my shup again?
Speaker 3: Hey, Hey, geal them babbling, Hey, Hey, bring all your
Speaker 3: friend then, hey, hey, everybody drinking?
Speaker 2: Hey, Hey, who cares what they thinking? Hey, hey, bear vibes,
Speaker 2: bear vibes, bear vies, bear vibes, beer vibes. Everybody's singing
Speaker 2: what we don't have?
Speaker 7: No behavior? Don't tell this atta, don't cross the bata,
Speaker 7: don't cross the bat with adas your pant poda. Everybody
Speaker 7: time we go with lin, I told you we weren't
Speaker 7: gonna know the words sweet.
Speaker 1: So every time we touched on his printice, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: So y'all already know that's the vincy side coming through.
Speaker 1: Shout out to h who sings that song again, Sew Marshall. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So if you ever want to do like a remake
Speaker 1: of the song, you want to update a music video,
Speaker 1: listen me, trist And and Sakari, we would be front and
Speaker 1: center with the finger on the head doing our dance
Speaker 1: because if you know, you know, you know for sure,
Speaker 1: all right, let's go ahead.
Speaker 5: And pay some bills.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna catch my breath, child, because I don't know singing.
Speaker 1: I was dancing inside and everything. So we're gonna come
Speaker 1: back and we're gonna get back into story time and
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk with my sister about her journey to
Speaker 1: where she is now, nurse practitioner, baby, stick around, Let's
Speaker 1: go pay some bills. She might be able to help
Speaker 1: me pay some bills too. Shit, nurse practition how much
Speaker 1: y'all make? Now we'll talk about when.
Speaker 2: We get back.
Speaker 1: All right, So we're back, So let's go to story time.
Speaker 1: What were you thinking in that moment? Because I know
Speaker 1: Deval and I that caught a soft guard. I know
Speaker 1: we had always said to you if you ever needed
Speaker 1: help with anything. Of course it went without saying that
Speaker 1: you should just not to thirty in the morning, but
Speaker 1: just not to thirty in the morning.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 1: But you said you were seventeen at the time and
Speaker 1: you felt like you were lost. And I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: so many people probably listening or parents of kids who
Speaker 1: were maybe about that age that can relate to how
Speaker 1: you felt.
Speaker 3: Well for me, I think I got to go back
Speaker 3: a little bit. I went to boarding school. I don't
Speaker 3: think anybody knows that really about me. I went to
Speaker 3: a boarding high school. It was predominantly white. I was
Speaker 3: one of about six black kids in my graduating class.
Speaker 3: I'm also a scholarship kid. I wasn't there with the
Speaker 3: money that everybody else had, so applying to colleges. Now,
Speaker 3: I applied to the good schools right all the Temples,
Speaker 3: the Upenns, the Penn States, all of these things got in,
Speaker 3: but didn't apply for financially because I had no idea
Speaker 3: what fast forwards. I had no idea what I had
Speaker 3: to do for that. So graduating college, I literally had nothing.
Speaker 3: I had no school to go to, I had no plan.
Speaker 3: I didn't even have Qunies and Sunnies in my bag,
Speaker 3: which is like the state colleges of New York. I
Speaker 3: had nothing. So I literally felt lost. And also, as
Speaker 3: a seventeen year old, you don't know what your next
Speaker 3: step is. I always knew I wanted to be a nurse.
Speaker 3: I think that was always something that was really ingrained
Speaker 3: in me. But I just didn't know where I was
Speaker 3: going to go next. Like I know I needed to
Speaker 3: go to school. I had no.
Speaker 2: School to go to. This was this is eighth August.
Speaker 3: School is starting very soon, and I had no plan
Speaker 3: to go anywhere.
Speaker 1: So what made you wait until then to then jump
Speaker 1: into panic mode and say I have nothing?
Speaker 2: Like what stopped you?
Speaker 1: Because I know Mom and Dad would have done everything
Speaker 1: within their power to make sure that financially, whether it
Speaker 1: was with a student loan or they had a plan,
Speaker 1: like they.
Speaker 2: Would have made sure that you were okay.
Speaker 1: So what was the chain of events that got you
Speaker 1: to that point where we were like, damn, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I have nothing right now.
Speaker 3: I think I was mostly like on a high from graduating,
Speaker 3: and I was a little embarrassed, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: like because I didn't have a plan. Like you go
Speaker 3: to this prep school that sounds great, right, but you
Speaker 3: come home and you just like literally have nothing to
Speaker 3: show for it, because it's like, all right, I graduated now.
Speaker 2: But so it's funny.
Speaker 1: Deval and I are actually reclassing Jackson for the next
Speaker 1: school year, which means we're going to be holding him
Speaker 1: back a year to redo seventh grade. And the reason
Speaker 1: for that is because of two things. When it comes
Speaker 1: to sports for children. Seeing that Jackson's birthday falls at
Speaker 1: the end of the school year or earlier in the
Speaker 1: year like yours, the size of a child his age
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the year versus the end of
Speaker 1: the years at a disadvantage, right, So for the sports component,
Speaker 1: we figured it made more sense to hold him back
Speaker 1: so that way he physically can contend with kids that
Speaker 1: are probably also going to be around his age you're
Speaker 1: a little older. Then there's also the social component, right,
Speaker 1: So you start school super early like you and I did,
Speaker 1: three years old, and you graduate high school by seventeen,
Speaker 1: college by twenty one or sixteen for some people, sixteen, seventeen,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one. So how much did you feel like
Speaker 1: there was maybe an immaturity that you had at the
Speaker 1: time that prevented you from like trying to figure things
Speaker 1: out or even to ask the questions to get you
Speaker 1: to that next phase.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. That was exactly it.
Speaker 3: Like I felt like, you know, at seventeen, you feel
Speaker 3: like you have you kind of are grown, but you're
Speaker 3: not really grown. Oh, I think that that's what I
Speaker 3: went through. I went away for school, so I was independent.
Speaker 3: It's one thing I was. I would say, you can
Speaker 3: always pretty take care of myself and that type of stuff,
Speaker 3: but to like not have especially being the youngest two
Speaker 3: of three kids that always had their shit together, and
Speaker 3: it's like shit, I know, so we seemed.
Speaker 2: Well I did. I don't know about your brother, but yeah,
Speaker 2: go ahead.
Speaker 3: But it was just it was really difficult to do
Speaker 3: that and then even to know what you want to
Speaker 3: do in life at seventeen, like nobody knows that, or
Speaker 3: they think they do same, and then they go to
Speaker 3: college and they fail out or they changed their major
Speaker 3: four times because they have no idea.
Speaker 2: What's really going.
Speaker 1: Absolutely that's what you remember I for my entire life,
Speaker 1: or my entire childhood, I should say, I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to be a pediatrician.
Speaker 2: I want to be a patrioary.
Speaker 1: So the minute college came for me, and I kind
Speaker 1: of can relate to you in that moment. Of course,
Speaker 1: at that time, if I'm going into college, you're only seven,
Speaker 1: so you wouldn't have known. But that's the reason why
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, at least I had Brooklyn
Speaker 1: College to go to for a year to figure things out,
Speaker 1: and it was really me buying time before I had
Speaker 1: to tell mom and Dad like I really don't want to.
Speaker 2: Be a pediatrician anymore. I want to be on TV.
Speaker 2: That's what I want to do. And imagine having that
Speaker 2: conversation with them. So thank you to Satari.
Speaker 5: Shout out to my sister.
Speaker 1: Y'all for being the one out of three who decided
Speaker 1: to actually follow in the nursing medical field.
Speaker 2: Fortress Tristan kinda did.
Speaker 1: He kind of put one toe in and he came
Speaker 1: out out that's enough for me exactly.
Speaker 2: So it's interesting because I felt the same way.
Speaker 1: I kind of felt like, damn, I'm in this space
Speaker 1: where I'm not really sure what I want to do.
Speaker 1: But I think we're always fed this high school, four
Speaker 1: year college. When you're done with that four year college,
Speaker 1: decide if you want to go for your masters or
Speaker 1: some people are medical school, you know, some go down
Speaker 1: to law school. Yep. What I want you to talk
Speaker 1: about and encourage people about today is the unconventional route
Speaker 1: that you took to become a nurse, because so many
Speaker 1: times were fed that American dream story of this is
Speaker 1: how you're supposed to do things in order to make
Speaker 1: it work. But I don't think many people know, particularly
Speaker 1: in the nursing field, that there's many different avenues that
Speaker 1: you can take to get there. So now that we
Speaker 1: have the conversation with you, after you know, trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what was next, so having nothing, went.
Speaker 3: To went to you taking me to Brooklyn College about
Speaker 3: the next day and we enrolled. And I enrolled pre
Speaker 3: med right as a seventeen year old.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: Right, definitely, I went through about three semesters at Brooklyn College.
Speaker 3: It was fun time I was back home. Jackson was
Speaker 3: just born, so you know, it was fun. Failed chemistry miserably.
Speaker 3: That same semester. I also overslept from my biology final.
Speaker 3: It was just a really bad I knew that.
Speaker 2: Did I know? You over I told you, am lab bro,
Speaker 2: why would you sign up to that?
Speaker 3: I was late in the semester. I had to take
Speaker 3: what I could get all the courses regard exactly. So yeah,
Speaker 3: that was not a good part of my life. So
Speaker 3: this was semester three, right. I then I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: I can't go into this next. I'm not I'm not
Speaker 3: doing this. My head is not in the game. I
Speaker 3: don't want to waste my parents' money. So I remember
Speaker 3: having a conversation with mom in the room and I
Speaker 3: pretty much broke down.
Speaker 2: Was like, I'm feeling I am failing. I have nothing
Speaker 2: to I'm failing. Yeah, Well, the crier of the bunch.
Speaker 2: If anyone didn't know, Zakari definitely is a crier.
Speaker 1: So for those who don't know, my mom was an
Speaker 1: RN for years, over forty plus years, working in so
Speaker 1: many different facets and nursing so She went from like
Speaker 1: bedside to long term care, home care. She has been
Speaker 1: all over the nursing field, so she did have a
Speaker 1: resource in mom, but there was also like that.
Speaker 2: Fear of coming clean to mom about where you are.
Speaker 1: You're like actual fear fear those of you who have
Speaker 1: Jamaican mothers, you know, the fear when it.
Speaker 2: Comes to your book, when it come to your book.
Speaker 2: Damn all right? Good?
Speaker 3: So I told Mom and she was just kind of like, Okay,
Speaker 3: maybe pre med is not for you. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: maybe it's not glad if somebody else said it, because
Speaker 3: it's really not for me. She said, why don't you
Speaker 3: do LPN And I was like, what is that? You know,
Speaker 3: you think about r N and you think about that,
Speaker 3: go to a four year college, you finish your four
Speaker 3: year college, then you graduate, you work as an aren't
Speaker 3: And that was kind of like what you think nursing
Speaker 3: should be, m h. And she was like, no, you
Speaker 3: can go to LPN school. I have a colleague who
Speaker 3: she went to nursing school with who opened to LPN
Speaker 3: school in Jersey. Tristan at the time also had stopped
Speaker 3: going to his college and was home and had nothing.
Speaker 3: It had nothing as well. So the two of us
Speaker 3: decided to do it together. So five days out the
Speaker 3: week we would drive to Jersey together every morning. Study
Speaker 3: for about a year and a half, graduated as an LPN,
Speaker 3: started working as an LPN in a nursing home and
Speaker 3: at this time, I'm like nineteen, but I'm working in
Speaker 3: a nursing home as an LPN. I did that for
Speaker 3: about about like I don't even know how many years.
Speaker 3: I think about like four years, and then I was like,
Speaker 3: all right, this, I'm very limited in my LPN.
Speaker 1: So, for those who don't know, an LPN is a
Speaker 1: license practical nurse practical nurse.
Speaker 2: So the scope of work for an LPM is very
Speaker 2: different than like a CNA or RN.
Speaker 3: So it's yes levels to it. So a CNA is
Speaker 3: more like a patient text so they take care of
Speaker 3: all the vital signs, all the daily living things, so
Speaker 3: brushing teeth, getting them dressed, changing them, that type of stuff.
Speaker 3: So that was a little up from there. But LPNs
Speaker 3: we administer medications. We don't start ivs, but we pretty
Speaker 3: much are the nurse that ran the floor. We can
Speaker 3: run the nursing home like that's it. In order to
Speaker 3: be in a hospital. You have to be an urn,
Speaker 3: you have to be an RN, and that's ultimately where
Speaker 3: I saw myself.
Speaker 2: So I was that was gonna be my next question
Speaker 2: to you.
Speaker 1: So once you were in the nursing home and you
Speaker 1: were in the field, did you at least feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm coming into my own like this is the path
Speaker 1: that I'm going to potentially stay on, because you were
Speaker 1: still kind of I think at this point before getting
Speaker 1: the LPN on the fence about where you were going
Speaker 1: to go, I was.
Speaker 3: On the tense about nursing in general. To be honest,
Speaker 3: like I always as a nurturer, that's always been my
Speaker 3: nature to take care of people. But being an LPN,
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, this is my calling. Like I
Speaker 3: love people, I love talking to people, I love making
Speaker 3: people feel better. I love finding solutions for things. So
Speaker 3: I was like, this is it for me?
Speaker 2: Okay, good Tristan.
Speaker 3: She didn't feel like it was it, Which is with
Speaker 3: the beauty of nursing, right, you have so many different
Speaker 3: avenues that you can go into. M So after the
Speaker 3: four years of an ELP, I also had no student debt.
Speaker 3: I was working independently making my own money at my
Speaker 3: own insurance, Like I felt like a sense of independence.
Speaker 2: I had got my own car.
Speaker 1: So this is from nineteen to about twenty three, around
Speaker 1: twenty four years of.
Speaker 2: Working as an LPN.
Speaker 1: So that goes to show that there are options for
Speaker 1: people who want to simultaneously work but then also put
Speaker 1: themselves through school and doing things step by step versus
Speaker 1: completely committing to a four year program and then having
Speaker 1: to and crewe a ton of debt because of how
Speaker 1: expensive schools is. Schooling is in a four year program,
Speaker 1: so this is kind of almost like breaking up and
Speaker 1: getting your experience on the job as you go.
Speaker 3: As it goes back to my sound bite, just because
Speaker 3: it took a little bit longer, you failed, it took
Speaker 3: me a little bit longer. But I think also that
Speaker 3: helped me as a nurse. That helped me build a
Speaker 3: rapport with patients. That are to learn to be comfortable
Speaker 3: to talking to patients, talking to family members, talking to providers.
Speaker 3: Those are something that you have to build confidence. I
Speaker 3: know so many nurses who graduate from four year programs
Speaker 3: and have no bedside manner.
Speaker 2: And they are so robots.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they go straight into their masters and their robots
Speaker 3: and a lot of what we do as nurses is
Speaker 3: patient care. We have to build a report, let them
Speaker 3: trust us, you know, I mean educate them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think the benefit that you had also to doing
Speaker 1: it this way is because as you were learning, and
Speaker 1: as you were learning on the job, as you were
Speaker 1: working and you were advancing in your career, you're also
Speaker 1: growing as a person.
Speaker 5: Think about it.
Speaker 1: In society, we are telling children essentially, although at seventeen
Speaker 1: and eighteen, we still feel like we've grown because we've
Speaker 1: all been there that I felt like we were grown
Speaker 1: at eighteen too. But you're essentially asking young men and
Speaker 1: women to decide on what it is they want to do,
Speaker 1: who it is they want to be, what their passion
Speaker 1: is for the rest of their life at the age
Speaker 1: of fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, as they approach college. And that's
Speaker 1: why I'm sure if we probably looked at the stats,
Speaker 1: so many people go into their for year colleges and
Speaker 1: you have to ask them ten, fifteen, twenty years there
Speaker 1: are you still even working in that field. But even
Speaker 1: more importantly for someone like you in the nursing field,
Speaker 1: you just gain life experience. You gain life experience, you
Speaker 1: mature on different levels by seeing things I'm sure that
Speaker 1: you don't take life for granted anymore from seeing things
Speaker 1: like death. How did that impact you when you first,
Speaker 1: you know, worked in the nursing home. You're working in
Speaker 1: the geriatric space, So how hard was that when you
Speaker 1: experienced like maybe your first death with your.
Speaker 2: First so patient.
Speaker 3: It's so funny though it was a little bit of
Speaker 3: bullying my first shift as an LPN.
Speaker 2: I was being trained. In the beginning.
Speaker 3: What they taught me to do was go around and
Speaker 3: take vital signs on all the patients. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: going into the room, not introduce myself, and I go
Speaker 3: to this patient and the patient's dead and they knew
Speaker 3: he was dead? What And they made me take his
Speaker 3: vital signs? So that was my first you get jumped
Speaker 3: into the nursing field. What that was my first and
Speaker 3: they thought it was hilarious and that was scarred. So
Speaker 3: that was my first interaction with the dead patient.
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, But when you went in, what did you
Speaker 2: say like, hey?
Speaker 3: How like yeah, but you say, Hi, I'm Sacchari, I'm
Speaker 3: going to be your nurse for today. I'm gonna take
Speaker 3: your by the signs and you go to touch the
Speaker 3: patient he's cold, and you're like, oh, okay, so he'd
Speaker 3: been shift left that for us, that's the nursing thing.
Speaker 3: You know, we have a little bit, you guys, a
Speaker 3: little a little oh, this is the shifting. You know,
Speaker 3: somebody feels like one it's more lazy than the other.
Speaker 1: But I won't go into that. I know, I know,
Speaker 1: that's a different talk, it's a different topic. So so great.
Speaker 1: So four years I'm doing the LPN work at the
Speaker 1: nursing home. You feel confident enough now to say, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm ready to progress onto the next phase.
Speaker 2: So what was the next phase for you?
Speaker 3: The next phase was an LPN to r N program. Okay,
Speaker 3: so what was that? That was like an accelerated program.
Speaker 3: I had to drive all the way to Harlem twice
Speaker 3: a week and get all this is done. That was
Speaker 3: probably the most intense part of this whole nursing process
Speaker 3: for me. Both not masters with hard but this was
Speaker 3: probably the most intense process because it's a lot of learning.
Speaker 3: Like the scope of practice for a LPN and an
Speaker 3: RN are totally different. And that's what I had to
Speaker 3: learn to stop thinking about me being an LPN and
Speaker 3: I have to think about nursing now in an RN's mindset.
Speaker 2: So leveling up in a say exactly, and not thinking
Speaker 2: about what I've been doing. You know, you've already been practicing, gotcha.
Speaker 2: And that program was how many years?
Speaker 1: That one was about a year and a half, a
Speaker 1: year and a halcause it was an accelerated program. Oh
Speaker 1: accelerated too, Okay, so a year and a half for
Speaker 1: LPN school a year and a half. So we're a
Speaker 1: total of three years now to become an RN.
Speaker 2: Yes, so now I'm an RN with an associates serree. Okay.
Speaker 3: So the thing with that is hospitals don't want associate series.
Speaker 3: Hospitals want bachelor's gotcha. So I'm still at the nursing
Speaker 3: home at this point. I did get the opportunity to
Speaker 3: be a supervisor, so I was a supervisor for the
Speaker 3: three tail eleven shift, and then I also progressed to
Speaker 3: being the associate director of nursing.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, and I was twenty four. I forgot about that. Yes,
Speaker 2: yes you were.
Speaker 1: So those are like major accolades that you're accumulating in
Speaker 1: a short period of time. But I guess proving yourself
Speaker 1: that you're worthy and capable of having that kind of responsibility.
Speaker 1: It was just a matter of having the degree title
Speaker 1: that can propel you into other opportunities exactly.
Speaker 3: And that also made me realize that management wasn't for me.
Speaker 3: It made me realize my mom was in management for years,
Speaker 3: and I felt so much like her that I was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: I'm exhausted. This is not for me. This is all paperwork.
Speaker 3: I'm not talking to patients, this is not it. So
Speaker 3: you weren't being able to care for people exactly. So
Speaker 3: that pushed me to go on for my bachelor's right
Speaker 3: covid hit, I was working in the nursing home and
Speaker 3: also online school at MEDGA evers. From my associates to bachelors,
Speaker 3: that was another year and a half online school. We
Speaker 3: were trying to figure that out. It kind of was
Speaker 3: an easier way because they didn't know what.
Speaker 2: They were doing. We didn't know what we were doing,
Speaker 2: and we just kind of like that path. That was
Speaker 2: a learning curve. Everybody it was everybody in school.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was awful. So I finished Medica evers. So
Speaker 3: I graduated with my bachelor's. While I was in school,
Speaker 3: I'm about my last semester, I started applying, so I'm
Speaker 3: like oh, I need this COVID money. Do I see
Speaker 3: the COVID money coming in?
Speaker 2: Then apply.
Speaker 3: I ended up getting a call back from Mount Sinai
Speaker 3: Emergency Department.
Speaker 1: Bruh Emergency Department during during COVID. So that just so
Speaker 1: you went from being in the nursing home to essentially
Speaker 1: being catapulted into the emergency room during COVID.
Speaker 3: The largest emergency department in New York. If you talk
Speaker 3: about getting jumped into.
Speaker 2: Anywhere, I take the cold dead body in the nursing.
Speaker 1: Home over getting thrown into COVID in the emergency room.
Speaker 2: That's insanity. It was.
Speaker 3: That's why you were so stressed. Yeah, it was a lot,
Speaker 3: but I learned a whole bunch, right. I was there
Speaker 3: for about two and a half years. And then during
Speaker 3: this time, you had some kids, right you had h.
Speaker 2: I had a couple of kids.
Speaker 3: I had a couple of kids from that time period.
Speaker 3: But I think the most impactful berths of yours were
Speaker 3: Kaz as well as Dakotas.
Speaker 1: So those who don't know, Sakari was alongside me when
Speaker 1: I did my home births, which was the story a
Speaker 1: ton of times on different platforms with you guys about
Speaker 1: having the home birth, and I made the switch from
Speaker 1: hospital to home and a midwife care versus an obgui
Speaker 1: n care with my births pregnancies. Really for Kaz and Dakota, yep,
Speaker 1: so Zakari was alongside my midwife through majority of the process,
Speaker 1: because Sakari was really at that point teetering on what
Speaker 1: area of nursing you wanted to specialize in?
Speaker 2: Correct, So what was the what was that like for you?
Speaker 1: I guess being in the space because you know, of
Speaker 1: course there's the sentimental attachment me being your sister, but
Speaker 1: thinking with a nurse's hat on in that moment alongside
Speaker 1: someone who's a seasoned midwife.
Speaker 2: What did that?
Speaker 1: What did that spark in you that made you feel like,
Speaker 1: you know what, maybe I want to alter my course
Speaker 1: of studies.
Speaker 3: So I always knew at that point I wanted to
Speaker 3: be a nurse pectitioner, right. I just there's different routes
Speaker 3: in their spectitioner. There's psych, there is family, there is
Speaker 3: adult care and this woman's and I just didn't know
Speaker 3: much about the women's health part of it. But I'm like,
Speaker 3: I've experienced these births with my sister. I've had extensive
Speaker 3: conversations with Taki or her midwife, and she's explained to
Speaker 3: me what she does and the group that she cares for,
Speaker 3: and I was just kind of enamored that this can
Speaker 3: just be your main focus. And you know, at that point,
Speaker 3: we're also hearing about so many things that are happening
Speaker 3: in just women's health, like misdiagnosis, also like birthing stories
Speaker 3: that just go wrong because they're not being heard or
Speaker 3: not being educated either. So like this honestly made me like, Okay,
Speaker 3: women's health is it? But I think it was Dakota's birth.
Speaker 3: I think I tell Takia this. Actually recently, she was
Speaker 3: explaining to me her job as a midwife, and I
Speaker 3: was just like, oh, you're on call twenty four to seven.
Speaker 3: You don't have a life. Yeah, you can't really schedule holidays,
Speaker 3: you can't schedule vacations.
Speaker 2: That's not the life of right, No, because you know
Speaker 2: we'd be outside, we outside. Just so y'all are clear.
Speaker 1: You know, I say, car don't have had tan right now,
Speaker 1: so don't don't hold it against her. Her tan faded
Speaker 1: a little bit from Jamaica. I re up when I
Speaker 1: went to Saint Vincent. It's just giving her thirtieth birthday,
Speaker 1: which is approaching. We're gonna be outside on somebody beach
Speaker 1: buns out.
Speaker 3: But to Kia straight up asked me, what do you
Speaker 3: want your quality of life to be like? And I
Speaker 3: was like, what do you mean? I was like, I
Speaker 3: want a family, I want to be able to clock out,
Speaker 3: go home. I want to enjoy what I do. I
Speaker 3: want to educate patients. I want to be have that
Speaker 3: rapport with patients that like, don't like that's my girl,
Speaker 3: Like I really like, that's my doctor mm hmm.
Speaker 2: And she was just like, I don't think midwill freeze
Speaker 2: for you. Wow. And it was like I don't think
Speaker 2: it is either, yeah, Like thank you so much for
Speaker 2: opening my eyes to that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, okay, it's women's health.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And at the same time I decided that I was
Speaker 3: going into women's health. I also got a job as.
Speaker 1: A fertility nurse uh huh at a fertility sense Yes,
Speaker 1: So that was exciting for me when I heard that
Speaker 1: this was a route you were going, because we know
Speaker 1: people personally who have been struggling with the process of
Speaker 1: pregnancy becoming parents who are just so desperate too and
Speaker 1: would make amazing parents, but just need a little bit
Speaker 1: of help and assistance.
Speaker 2: And I know there's also kind of like a stigma.
Speaker 1: Around the fertility field and debate on like, you know,
Speaker 1: is it right? Is this what's God's plans? What God's
Speaker 1: plan was for you? Like how do you balance faith
Speaker 1: in medicine? So leaving the er, which was again a
Speaker 1: very stressful situation for you, but you learned a lot.
Speaker 1: You got thrown in, so you got to see a
Speaker 1: little bit of everything. And then now you said, okay,
Speaker 1: women's health, Oh, fertility nurse, what does your job encompass
Speaker 1: at your current place of work?
Speaker 3: Okay, So as a fertility nurse, I work at a
Speaker 3: fertility clinic. I work in like a team with a
Speaker 3: doctor and a care coordinator, and we have our own
Speaker 3: patients that we see. I pretty much am introduced to
Speaker 3: the patient after they've spoken with the doctor. They have
Speaker 3: a plan of care, whether it be egg freezing, actual iva,
Speaker 3: there's surrogates. We have so many differ and aspects of
Speaker 3: how you can get pregnant insemination cycles. So I'm the
Speaker 3: one that pretty much educates them on what the cycle
Speaker 3: is going to look like, the communication that we're gonna
Speaker 3: have with you when you get your results, and it
Speaker 3: just made me like, now I understand the period like
Speaker 3: the back of my hand, like you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: Like now I'm like that really just was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: women's health is.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sakari like looks at people sometimes she's like she might
Speaker 1: have be s pcos she might have this, she might
Speaker 1: have that, or I've totally this is gonna be so TMI.
Speaker 1: I am apologizing to y'all in advance, but I send
Speaker 1: Sakari photos of things.
Speaker 2: You're not the only one either.
Speaker 1: Sometimes like that. That's just what happens when you become
Speaker 1: like the nurse and the family and you get all
Speaker 1: the questions, you get all the photos, all the take
Speaker 1: a look at this?
Speaker 2: Should this feel like that? Like Zakari's literally been that
Speaker 2: for everybody. But it's helpful, it's helpful for sure.
Speaker 1: How do you, or I guess where you work now,
Speaker 1: kind of dispel the myths and the stigmas around just
Speaker 1: women's health in general, because as we know right now,
Speaker 1: the women's body is under attack, just with the government
Speaker 1: in general and the autonomy that they're trying to take
Speaker 1: away from us. So how do you in the space
Speaker 1: that you're in alongside your colleagues kind of ensure that
Speaker 1: women's health is protected as much as possible according to
Speaker 1: how you guys work well.
Speaker 3: I think for that is also making sure that the
Speaker 3: women feel like it's a safe space to talk, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, and having that rapport with them,
Speaker 3: because I feel like what happens a lot in women's
Speaker 3: health is that people don't feel heard or they don't
Speaker 3: feel validated, they don't feel like their feelings make sense.
Speaker 3: And you really have to take a step back and
Speaker 3: be like these people all they want to do is
Speaker 3: be mothers.
Speaker 2: That's all they want to do.
Speaker 3: And we really even though you go through the cycle
Speaker 3: of like, oh my god, I have fifty patients to
Speaker 3: email today and it just gets like redundant, you have
Speaker 3: to really feel like they're urgently wanting this, and every
Speaker 3: cycle they go through and they get their period, they
Speaker 3: are upset, their whole world is ending. They're paying thousands
Speaker 3: upon thousands of dollars. So I think the most important
Speaker 3: part for me is maybe if I don't email them today,
Speaker 3: let me give them a call, let me just talk
Speaker 3: to them.
Speaker 2: You know, see how.
Speaker 1: They're doing that humane like human connection to and it's
Speaker 1: not just business exactly.
Speaker 3: It's not just like email after email after email after email.
Speaker 3: So I think that that women's health in general, that's
Speaker 3: like the main part of it. People just want to
Speaker 3: be heard, they want to feel educated, they want to
Speaker 3: know that their provider is actually caring for them as
Speaker 3: a person, and I think that that's something that I
Speaker 3: want to especially bring into my practice. It's like we're
Speaker 3: just girls, Like I can just sit like this and
Speaker 3: have a conversation with you.
Speaker 2: Yes, business.
Speaker 3: Cervix and everything, but after that we can just sit
Speaker 3: as girls. Like you can talk to me and I
Speaker 3: can educate you, and then you can educate other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: That level of comfort I think is very necessary, and
Speaker 1: I think that's what people look for when they're looking
Speaker 1: for again the bedside manner that's attached to wherever they
Speaker 1: choose to receive any kind of medical care, regardless of intimate.
Speaker 3: Like you know, there's such an intimate part, like people
Speaker 3: are so scared, Like I've seen patients that are like shaking,
Speaker 3: not giving me eye contact, and that's when I know
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do the path right now.
Speaker 2: Let me just sit and talk.
Speaker 1: Right It's just one of your wildest stories that you've
Speaker 1: like throughout your nursing journeys and like a crazy story,
Speaker 1: and it could be something fertility related, it could be
Speaker 1: something like just in the er, was there any like
Speaker 1: wild story that made you think, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: might have chosen the wrong field or oh my god,
Speaker 1: this was so insane.
Speaker 2: That I love it here and I can't wait to
Speaker 2: see more of this. And of course you don't have
Speaker 2: to give names of stuff because hip and percent.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I guess one of my most traumatic
Speaker 3: things was in the nursing home. Actually, oh yeah, hm,
Speaker 3: it was. I was working by myself on day shift,
Speaker 3: which is the most busiest shift. I have forty patients,
Speaker 3: three CNAs, which is usually about five, okay, and we
Speaker 3: had to get through it, and I remember I went
Speaker 3: into the bedroom and I just started bawling. I started bawling.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is not fair. I was like,
Speaker 3: how are they doing this to me? I had to
Speaker 3: do forty med passes, treatments everything from seven to three
Speaker 3: and get them up, make sure they had breakfast, make
Speaker 3: sure they had dinner, talk like it was so much
Speaker 3: different things. And I remember the oncoming nurse came in
Speaker 3: never met her day in my life, went up to her,
Speaker 3: gave for a hug.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming in today was the
Speaker 2: littlest seventy three ever.
Speaker 3: I was like, I did not think I would make it.
Speaker 3: I did not think I would make it. So I
Speaker 3: think that even though my experience in as an LPN,
Speaker 3: I feel like was the most impactful in my nursing career.
Speaker 3: It brought me so much resilience. It made me resilient,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, I can handle anything. To
Speaker 3: r was a breeze, to be honest, because I can
Speaker 3: handle forty patients and just me like, okay, I have
Speaker 3: ten patients.
Speaker 1: That's absolutely and especially to knowing being in the field,
Speaker 1: like the deficit that sometimes they're was like getting staff
Speaker 1: on and having people working and you know, retention of the.
Speaker 2: Worket and management right.
Speaker 1: And then also having so many options in nursing, do
Speaker 1: you feel like there's a lot of turnover sometimes like
Speaker 1: people are just like, oh, I don't have to stay here,
Speaker 1: I can go somewhere else so I can do something else.
Speaker 3: A culture, now, I think is that I think that
Speaker 3: I was raised in the mind like Mom, you stay
Speaker 3: in one job, You're loyal to this job. You know,
Speaker 3: have you build your pension, you do all these type
Speaker 3: of things. Yeah, and I think now the culture is different.
Speaker 3: Mental health is so much more important. No, physical health
Speaker 3: is important. If it's not serving you, you don't need
Speaker 3: to be there. So I feel like that's why the
Speaker 3: turnover is more crazy now, right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Also, people are going where the money goes.
Speaker 3: True, people are not just staying there because they want
Speaker 3: to be loyal, because at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: they're not going to be loyal for you.
Speaker 1: I was happy to see a you're graduating class. So
Speaker 1: Sakari just graduated like two weeks ago with her master's
Speaker 1: in nursing.
Speaker 2: Insert the round of applause button. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud to have witnessed your commitment, your dedication.
Speaker 1: I don't know how you actually do it because you
Speaker 1: are essentially working full time, you're also doing clinicals, you're
Speaker 1: in school full time, and then you're still finding ways
Speaker 1: to be present for me, my family, the entire family
Speaker 1: where you don't miss a beat. So my hat's off
Speaker 1: to you, insists, then you give your flowers now, because.
Speaker 5: I don't know how you do it.
Speaker 1: But you do it so well, and you do it
Speaker 1: so gracefully and with such poise. And I was happy
Speaker 1: to be at your graduation and just see the diversity
Speaker 1: amongst the graduating class, because from what we know and
Speaker 1: understand that there is, particularly in women's health or just
Speaker 1: within that scope of work, there is a deficit of
Speaker 1: representation of black and brown nurses who are in the
Speaker 1: obgyn clinics, who are in the women's health field, who
Speaker 1: are in the fertility clinics. And as we know, if
Speaker 1: we go into some facts and SAT's real quick just
Speaker 1: to kind of let everyone know and bring into perspective
Speaker 1: that black women are more likely than any other race
Speaker 1: to die from I think it's like three or four
Speaker 1: times more likely than their white counterparts during childbirth or after.
Speaker 1: So I was happy to see the diversity in the
Speaker 1: graduating class.
Speaker 2: Though may everyone may not have been women's health.
Speaker 1: But how do you feel like just you being a face,
Speaker 1: a familiar face, meaning a black and brown woman in
Speaker 1: that space, what do you look forward to being able
Speaker 1: to provide to your patients whenever you're in your new
Speaker 1: work setting, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 3: Well, I think working as in my clinicals, I was
Speaker 3: working with a black provider as well, young female provider,
Speaker 3: And I think that going into those rooms and like
Speaker 3: we've had comments of patients being like like a deep breath, like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm going to be heard today, to
Speaker 3: be believed today, you know what I mean, I'm not
Speaker 3: going to be rushed through my visit. I think that,
Speaker 3: and also just bringing facts to the light, like vitamin
Speaker 3: D helping with fibroids, because it's more common in black
Speaker 3: people for us to have a vitamin D deficiency. That's
Speaker 3: why fibroids are more common amongst the black community. So
Speaker 3: maybe having some supplementation for that, But like as a
Speaker 3: Black woman, you seek out more holistic ways or just
Speaker 3: like in general treatments for our race because we feel
Speaker 3: like we're not heard, not saying that we're not going
Speaker 3: to give care, excellent care to everyone. Right, It's not
Speaker 3: explored enough in terms of Black women. Yeah, So I
Speaker 3: think that at least me having that insight is more
Speaker 3: so like I'm gonna listen to them more. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: make sure those warning signs are more prevalent, especially for
Speaker 3: like preeclampsia and stuff like that. Like our warning signs
Speaker 3: are a little bit different breast cancer, doing breast exams,
Speaker 3: teaching age patient to do those breast exams because it
Speaker 3: can be prevented or it can be treated.
Speaker 2: Early early early decission.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the main thing that I want to like
Speaker 3: help man.
Speaker 2: Listen.
Speaker 1: When Sakari left me after I had Dakota, so my
Speaker 1: midwife was here for a week after. Sakaria was also
Speaker 1: here for a week after, and you guys departed like
Speaker 1: maybe a day or two apart. And it was literally
Speaker 1: on that like ninth day that I had an excruciating headache.
Speaker 1: My hands and feet were swollen, and I'm just attributing
Speaker 1: it to lack of sleep, just had a baby up
Speaker 1: at night nursing great. And I remember my midwife calling
Speaker 1: to check on me that day and I told her.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I have this like massive headache.
Speaker 1: I just need to kind of sleep it off. And
Speaker 1: she's like, ye, I don't.
Speaker 2: Think we're going to do that. What's your blood pressure?
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I don't know what my blood pressure is.
Speaker 1: So Mom gets the electric cuff, puts it on. It
Speaker 1: was like one ninety eight over like one hundred and something,
Speaker 1: and my mom was like, oh, this is wrong. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, mom looks at my dad and she's like,
Speaker 1: where did she get this blood pressure?
Speaker 2: Comes? Something's wrong with it. Let me go get the
Speaker 2: manual one.
Speaker 1: So she takes my blood pressure and it's legitimately one
Speaker 1: ninety something over like one oh eight. And Tekia was like,
Speaker 1: I think you need to go to the emergency room.
Speaker 2: Just nice and caution.
Speaker 3: I was just about to say that her bedside better
Speaker 3: is super caught.
Speaker 2: That's her voice every time. So card, we're not going
Speaker 2: to panic.
Speaker 1: We're not going to panic. But I think you should
Speaker 1: go to the emergency room. And I'm like, girl, I
Speaker 1: had this new born baby here. I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to leave him and go to the
Speaker 1: emergency for what. So I called Sakari because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I have to forget that. Of course the family nurse co
Speaker 1: sign and Sakari is like, Takia is never adamant about
Speaker 1: you doing anything really, so if she's adamant about you
Speaker 1: going to the er, go to the R. I was
Speaker 1: like a damn So I said, Takia said it.
Speaker 2: Sakari co signed it. I said, I gotta go to
Speaker 2: the er, and.
Speaker 1: That that relationship that access that you guys foreseeing what
Speaker 1: was happening to me when I didn't even think it
Speaker 1: was anything. I'm writing it off as you know, exhaustion
Speaker 1: and lack of sleep, and literally saved my life. When
Speaker 1: I got to the emergency room and they took my
Speaker 1: blood pressure it was one ninety seven over one twelve,
Speaker 1: and they in damn their close to a seizure and
Speaker 1: they instantly grabbed me. And it's like you know the
Speaker 1: scene in a movie where everyone starts moving fast and
Speaker 1: they're not really saying much to you, but then you
Speaker 1: do have the one nurse that's just like, everything's gonna
Speaker 1: be fine.
Speaker 2: I'm like, the hell, yeah, it's gonna be fine. What
Speaker 2: you mean?
Speaker 1: I got my husband sitting out there, my newborn baby nine.
Speaker 2: Days all at home, and his three brothers.
Speaker 1: Everything has to be fine, sis, And they just jumped
Speaker 1: into action and got into magnesium and was in the
Speaker 1: hospital for three consecutive days after having a completely sexual,
Speaker 1: sex festful home birth. So I say that to say
Speaker 1: it's so helpful when you have people you can lean on,
Speaker 1: or if you have that relationship with your provider. And
Speaker 1: I'm just excited for you to be that person because
Speaker 1: I know who you are as a human being. I
Speaker 1: know who you are as a sister, Sade, our kind
Speaker 1: of daughter.
Speaker 5: You're like the one daughter where you.
Speaker 1: Never had I never will and just the way you
Speaker 1: are as an aunt and as a person. Just I'm
Speaker 1: excited for your future patients to really get to experience
Speaker 1: you because I know how much this feel and this
Speaker 1: course of work means to you. Your heart is so huge,
Speaker 1: your heart is in it. You're a nurturer by nature,
Speaker 1: So I'm just super proud of you. Again, I want
Speaker 1: to give my sister her flowers, say the first time
Speaker 1: she's on a day with k And we have literally
Speaker 1: so many things that Zakari and I can like talk about,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to bring light to this topic right
Speaker 1: now just because of the state of the country. You know,
Speaker 1: elections are coming up, you just graduating women's health in
Speaker 1: gener role of our reproductive health and the reproductive system
Speaker 1: in which we're existing in just being under fire. So
Speaker 1: I feel like it was timely for us to talk
Speaker 1: about this here. When as we close out this particular
Speaker 1: portion of the conversation, what do you encourage any woman
Speaker 1: going into.
Speaker 2: Well, I guess it's maybe two part.
Speaker 1: First off, anyone that is going to look for a
Speaker 1: provider in women's health. What are some things that you
Speaker 1: think women should look for when they're trying to find
Speaker 1: a place to.
Speaker 2: Coexist with a doctor to receive that care.
Speaker 3: Honestly, I am biased, but I think that nurse practitioners
Speaker 3: are way better than doctors. Okay, reason being, we have
Speaker 3: bedside manner, we know how to talk to people, we
Speaker 3: know how to educate people, we have a different decorum.
Speaker 3: Like you know, we actually take the time to speak
Speaker 3: to our patients. Not saying that every OBGI in doesn't,
Speaker 3: but I just feel like sometimes people are caught up
Speaker 3: on a doctor and having that name associated with it,
Speaker 3: and they just don't trust nurse practitioners that we don't know.
Speaker 3: But I think it's the total opposite. We have so
Speaker 3: much more insight, We have so much more actual experience
Speaker 3: that can attribute to all the things that we can
Speaker 3: tell you or treat you with, or you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. They might give you the holistic route rather
Speaker 3: than the doctor giving you the pills, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. Like it just I think that I would
Speaker 3: implore you to do your research on not only providers
Speaker 3: meaning doctors, but also nurse practitioners.
Speaker 2: NBAS.
Speaker 5: That's good.
Speaker 1: That's good because I definitely when I was pregnant with Jackson,
Speaker 1: I remember leaving a particular doctor. It was actually a
Speaker 1: male obgyn, and I kept seeing the nurse practitioner instead
Speaker 1: of him, and I was just like, why did I
Speaker 1: feel like I just kept getting pushed off? She actually
Speaker 1: ended up being really sweet, but also too, I never
Speaker 1: went through his care because I also felt like he
Speaker 1: was kind of dismissive and didn't have bedside manner where
Speaker 1: she did.
Speaker 2: So interesting and just that they go.
Speaker 3: To school for what eight plus years and then are
Speaker 3: jumped into bedside right versus an where we've been bedside
Speaker 3: for so long.
Speaker 1: And with your journey, you worked in school kind of simultaneously,
Speaker 1: so it's interesting to see how you kind of wove
Speaker 1: in experience learning together while you were on your course.
Speaker 1: So it took you a total of how many years?
Speaker 1: I think that from nineteen from nineteen to twenty nine
Speaker 1: to twenty nine, so years, ten years that you just
Speaker 1: slowly built it up. You have no debt, I have
Speaker 1: no debt, she has no debt. So for the person
Speaker 1: who is looking for that route, particularly a nursing or
Speaker 1: maybe in another field, what is your encouragement if they're
Speaker 1: trying to decide. You know what, I don't really have
Speaker 1: the funds to do it now, but I want.
Speaker 2: To get started. I need to at least start.
Speaker 1: I think that was what was the positive part with
Speaker 1: you is that you started it started. So what would
Speaker 1: be your advice moving forward for anyone who's like looking
Speaker 1: to do a similar journey to you?
Speaker 3: So I think for me, LPN was the best route
Speaker 3: for me, meaning I was okay with working in a
Speaker 3: nursing home. And I think that that's what you also
Speaker 3: have to realize for yourself. Maybe start doing some volunteer work.
Speaker 3: Maybe work as medical assistant. It's a little bit shorter program.
Speaker 3: Maybe work as a CNA. It might suck for a
Speaker 3: little bit, but at least you can get experience in
Speaker 3: the route and see like, Okay, I see what the
Speaker 3: nurse does ten day to day. I can do that,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? I would say, get your
Speaker 3: toe wet before you jump right into a four year
Speaker 3: program and then end up payting it and wasting money,
Speaker 3: wasting time, you know what I mean? And it's mostly money.
Speaker 3: Everything's expensive. LPN is a shorter route, it's a little
Speaker 3: bit less money. It's a one time thing and you
Speaker 3: can start making money. There are LPNs that are working
Speaker 3: in hospitals. You just really have to find it, okay.
Speaker 3: I think also building a rapport with your peers is
Speaker 3: a big thing because a lot of like the jobs
Speaker 3: that I've gotten or word of mouth and referrals. So
Speaker 3: I think that that's also something like never just kind
Speaker 3: of be to yourself, talk to people, talk to people
Speaker 3: in the field. I have people who were in my
Speaker 3: DMS just asking me questions and I'm like, yeah, this
Speaker 3: is how I did. It not necessarily work for everybody,
Speaker 3: but it's a way for you to at least get
Speaker 3: your foot in the door. Also, as LPNs, you don't
Speaker 3: have to work bashit, beds it.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. You can work in the office. Like Kristin.
Speaker 3: My brother is an LPN. We graduated together. He's working
Speaker 3: as a director of admissions in a nursing home.
Speaker 5: Right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, you talk so many avenue.
Speaker 3: So many As long as you just get your foot
Speaker 3: in the door, you can go anywhere.
Speaker 2: If you're putting the door, yah, you can knock it
Speaker 2: down do like my sister did.
Speaker 5: And I'm so proud of you. Zakari, I love you.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see the waves and the splash
Speaker 1: that you're going to make in your field. I'm excited
Speaker 1: for your future parents who are going to get to
Speaker 1: not parents, your future patients who are going to get
Speaker 1: to experience you and your care. What's next?
Speaker 3: Well, thirty is next month. We're knocking on thirty stor
Speaker 3: in terms of NEXTX. That's what I'm truly trying to
Speaker 3: figure out.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 3: Do I want to stay in fertility? Do I want
Speaker 3: to work in gu yn? You know, just trying to
Speaker 3: figure that out. Be a newly single also, just trying
Speaker 3: to figure out myself. I feel like myself get back
Speaker 3: into the group of things and like go into thirty
Speaker 3: with the bank.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, saw how she slid that in their newly single,
Speaker 1: go into their That's a topic for a whole Another's
Speaker 1: Day A Day with k featuring Sakari Part two standby
Speaker 1: but I love you.
Speaker 5: Let's go take a quick late break. We're gonna pay
Speaker 5: some bills.
Speaker 1: Hopefully you can stick around real quick so we can
Speaker 1: talk to the folks. They write in with listener letters,
Speaker 1: so we have a quick one to go through to
Speaker 1: see if we can give someone some advice.
Speaker 5: All right, So Sakari and now we're gonna give our
Speaker 5: two sins. He's going to be four to and Sue four.
Speaker 2: We'll be back.
Speaker 1: All right, We're back into what Devout always says is
Speaker 1: my favorite part, because i'd like to get in people's
Speaker 1: business show. So today I brought my sister because usually
Speaker 1: if you're tell me something she knows too, just put
Speaker 1: it out there.
Speaker 2: You know how to say.
Speaker 5: It's gonna end up in the group chat.
Speaker 2: So here's a listening letter for today.
Speaker 1: I'm going to start by saying I appreciate both of
Speaker 1: you guys for deciding to share a bit of your life.
Speaker 1: I've been following you guys since my first year of
Speaker 1: high school when DeVoe went viral for getting the kids
Speaker 1: together when Kay was at work. I loved the booking podcasts,
Speaker 1: and I went to the Philly show when the New
Speaker 1: York one was sold out and had a blast. Oh gosh,
Speaker 1: you traveled for us on behalf of Devalini.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: All right, so you know that it oh she said,
Speaker 1: you know that means I'm from New York, Long Island
Speaker 1: to be exact, shout out to New York.
Speaker 2: I've never been more proud of people. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Keep doing what you guys are doing because it's gotten
Speaker 1: me through some tough mental battles.
Speaker 2: We got you this. Thank you for that, all right,
Speaker 2: So we're going to get to the story now.
Speaker 1: Back in twenty nineteen, I want a way to Clark
Speaker 1: Atlanta University for broadcast journalism. I know we have great
Speaker 1: schools in New York, but I really wanted to get
Speaker 1: away from my hometown. I just knew that I was
Speaker 1: going to be the next best thing on Channel seven
Speaker 1: Eyewitness News. Girls.
Speaker 2: That was literally me.
Speaker 1: That was literally me going to half strad after I
Speaker 1: dropped the bomb that I was not going to be
Speaker 1: a nurse or pediatrician. I excelled in my program fast,
Speaker 1: came into a lot of different opportunities, met some great
Speaker 1: mentors along the way, and went from joining the televisions
Speaker 1: station my first semester to overseeing it the second semester.
Speaker 1: I really felt like I was living my purpose. Then
Speaker 1: the pandemic happened and I was set back home. I
Speaker 1: felt like I lost everything during the pandemic. I started
Speaker 1: a podcast, kept up with my YouTube page, doing interviews,
Speaker 1: kept trying to sharpen my skills with Adobe and trying
Speaker 1: to get involved with anything that could allow me to film,
Speaker 1: interview or just whatever I can get my hands on.
Speaker 1: With a global pandemic going on, since we were in quarantine,
Speaker 1: that meant I was no longer around people who shared
Speaker 1: the same passion as I did, so I lost mine.
Speaker 1: I reverted back to working regular jobs just to pay
Speaker 1: bills and having something to do.
Speaker 2: For a while.
Speaker 1: I stayed in that space. I got a job with
Speaker 1: the MTA in twenty twenty two. My whole family was
Speaker 1: so happy for me and told me that I was
Speaker 1: lucky to get this opportunity, that I should hold onto
Speaker 1: this job because it's a great job to retire from.
Speaker 1: I'll never miss a paycheck, I'll have insurance, and I
Speaker 1: won't be young forever, so I need to figure it
Speaker 1: out now. I didn't want to disappoint them, so I
Speaker 1: took the job. Three months did this job, I started
Speaker 1: developing anxiety. My anxiety turned into depression, and eight months in,
Speaker 1: I was crying myself to sleep every night, asking God
Speaker 1: why he took all of my opportunities away and if
Speaker 1: this was all I had to look forward to in life.
Speaker 2: Oh after a.
Speaker 1: While, so After a while, I started therapy. I finally
Speaker 1: took control of my situation and finished my associate's degree.
Speaker 1: I quit the MTA after a year and a half
Speaker 1: to pivot started school for ultrasound. I made a plan
Speaker 1: to put myself back in school for broadcast journalism and
Speaker 1: work towards becoming a voice actor after I graduated snography school.
Speaker 2: I love that she has plans though she not move in,
Speaker 2: which is great. Which is great.
Speaker 1: You guys always talk about time and capital. Yes, I
Speaker 1: was just about to say that, so I picked.
Speaker 2: You really be listening.
Speaker 1: So I picked up a backup career that would give
Speaker 1: me both. I tried to adopt the idea that delay
Speaker 1: does not mean denied and that it's okay to take
Speaker 1: a different route to get to my dream.
Speaker 2: Did Triple know what.
Speaker 5: We were talking about today?
Speaker 2: Because we're talking about different routes? This is great?
Speaker 1: Any life financial advice for a twenty five year old
Speaker 1: girl who still lives at home, rent and kid free,
Speaker 1: thank god, and feels like yeah, and feels like she
Speaker 1: knows what she wants but has to take another route
Speaker 1: to get there, while also feeling like I have.
Speaker 2: To play ketchup because I wasted so much time.
Speaker 1: Side note, I'm the first girl in my family to
Speaker 1: graduate and to go to college and graduate. I don't
Speaker 1: want you guys to think that I've been lazy for
Speaker 1: the past couple of years.
Speaker 2: I did not gather that.
Speaker 1: I just didn't know how to move forward, especially when
Speaker 1: everyone in my family has practical jobs and always played
Speaker 1: it safe.
Speaker 2: That's us too.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry this letter was so long.
Speaker 1: Sincerely, a girl who won't be on her parents' insurance
Speaker 1: much longer.
Speaker 2: I sup wish I could.
Speaker 1: Meet you and get your hug because this is such
Speaker 1: a candid story and what I want to see is
Speaker 1: this A couple of things that came to mind here.
Speaker 1: First off, Zakari hearing her story, knowing about the different
Speaker 1: route and you know, taking your time and working through
Speaker 1: things to get to your passion. What can you say
Speaker 1: to her? Anything specific to repeat my sound bite?
Speaker 2: Pretty much? Pretty much the episode comes full circle.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, honestly, and I get the
Speaker 3: part of her story I get is feeling like you're
Speaker 3: not doing enough or you wasted time because I felt
Speaker 3: that way. I went through three semesters and felt like
Speaker 3: I waste time and money. But it's like, just because
Speaker 3: it took longer, it doesn't mean you failed, like legit like,
Speaker 3: it doesn't because you have a plan, you see, like
Speaker 3: you have a backup plan as well. So you are
Speaker 3: in a great your ace right now.
Speaker 2: That's so true. You're in a great space.
Speaker 3: And I'm proud of you for figuring that out because
Speaker 3: it takes a lot of people a lot longer.
Speaker 2: It really does.
Speaker 1: And you're saying that you're twenty five, I mean, and
Speaker 1: then the funny thing is, she says, she's twenty five,
Speaker 1: but in reading all of what you did through college
Speaker 1: then the pandemic then and you accomplished a lot twenty five.
Speaker 2: She was about to say, like maybe mid thirties.
Speaker 5: Mid thirties.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I say that to say, I guess what's
Speaker 1: the car? And I are ultimately saying here is that
Speaker 1: just because you're taking an alternate route to get to
Speaker 1: what it is you really want to do, does not
Speaker 1: mean that it's the wrong route. Because a lot of
Speaker 1: times God will want to show you things along the way.
Speaker 1: You may meet somebody in that path that you didn't
Speaker 1: expect to meet that can propel you into something else.
Speaker 1: For example, you never know you might be doing a
Speaker 1: sonogram for somebody you know. In that space, you get
Speaker 1: to chit chatting and talking again bedside manner, having you know,
Speaker 1: really good human interaction and conversations with people.
Speaker 2: Oh what do you do?
Speaker 5: Oh, I work at a new station. Oh you know,
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I work at this.
Speaker 1: You just don't know who you're going to meet along
Speaker 1: the way. And I do understand your family feeling like, oh,
Speaker 1: because that's what we're taught.
Speaker 2: We're taught.
Speaker 1: Oh, get yourself a nice city job, practical, practical, pretty
Speaker 1: job that you can retire from. You got your benefits,
Speaker 1: but again, fulfillment, and you didn't seem like you were
Speaker 1: fulfilled in that space, anxiety turning into depression. I don't
Speaker 1: feel like that's where you had to stay.
Speaker 5: So proud of you.
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you for having the mindset that the
Speaker 1: time and capital. Again, so you work a job so
Speaker 1: that way it can fund and fuel your passion. So
Speaker 1: keep doing what you're doing. Don't worry about the timeline.
Speaker 1: You're twenty five. You have so much life to live.
Speaker 1: People are People are just coming into their own in
Speaker 1: their late thirties forties.
Speaker 2: Trust me, you, Oh you're not late thirties.
Speaker 1: So coming into her own at thirty and then you
Speaker 1: rather set yourself up for a life that you can
Speaker 1: be proud of, that you can be happy with that
Speaker 1: you are nothing filled with fill.
Speaker 3: Cup is filmed like you're happy to go to work every.
Speaker 1: Day, every single day. That's how you know that you're
Speaker 1: in the right space. So some things are going to
Speaker 1: require a sacrifice, Some things are going to require doing
Speaker 1: things you don't necessarily want to do in that moment.
Speaker 1: But just know that in every less every failure or
Speaker 1: what seems like a failure, it really can be the
Speaker 1: lesson that you need. So all the best to you, girl,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for writing Zakaria. Thank you for
Speaker 1: having me here. I know this is this was like
Speaker 1: a really really good one, but yeah, it was spot
Speaker 1: on for the topic today. All right, y'all, if you
Speaker 1: want to be featured as a listener letter for a
Speaker 1: future episode, I can't guarantee Sakaria is going to be
Speaker 1: here to answer a question and might me devour with
Speaker 1: somebody else, but don't let that stop you from email
Speaker 1: emailing us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot dot com.
Speaker 1: That's D E A D A S S A D
Speaker 1: v I. C. E at gmail dot com. Devil normally
Speaker 1: says that part that's so slow, that's cool, all right,
Speaker 1: so Zakari. To wrap up the conversation, we always do
Speaker 1: a moment of truth, and the moment of truth pretty
Speaker 1: much is just like one or two sentences that just
Speaker 1: encompasses what the takeaway is from this episode, or maybe
Speaker 1: a moment of truth of revelation that you had as
Speaker 1: we were talking, or something else that you just want
Speaker 1: to reiterate to people that they can take away from
Speaker 1: this episode today.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I guess for the moment of truth, I'll
Speaker 3: talk my truth mm hmm. And going into this next
Speaker 3: decade of life, and with so many different changes happening
Speaker 3: in my life, I feel like everyone needs to take
Speaker 3: a step back and be grateful for where they are
Speaker 3: and then start planning out the next decade and what
Speaker 3: that's going to look like and work your ass off.
Speaker 2: To get there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you heard it, work your ass off to
Speaker 1: get here. And just because life for you is not
Speaker 1: looking like what you thought it would look like in
Speaker 1: the moment or the next five years, doesn't look like
Speaker 1: what you thought it would look like, it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that greater is not on the other side, So I
Speaker 1: love that my moment of truth kind of wrapped up
Speaker 1: into yours too. I just wanted to again thank you
Speaker 1: for sitting with me today. We have such an incredible bond,
Speaker 1: even just being ten years apart. People are so surprised
Speaker 1: that we are as close as we are. But I'm
Speaker 1: so happy that mom did not send me to boarding
Speaker 1: school for high school because that was on the table too,
Speaker 1: and my mom was like, if I sent Kadeen away
Speaker 1: at the time twelve maybe thirteen, I would have gone
Speaker 1: to boarding school around thirteen years old, and you at
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 2: Were only two three, so.
Speaker 1: We wouldn't have had that time at home together to
Speaker 1: really bond and connect. So shout out to Mimi and
Speaker 1: Papa for taking the opportunity away for me to go
Speaker 1: go away in school, but foresight, but having the foresight
Speaker 1: to know that if she did that, it would make
Speaker 1: our bond that much stronger. So love you, sis, thank
Speaker 1: you for thanks for having me doing a day with
Speaker 1: k and we're going to come back because there's like
Speaker 1: so many, so many different things that we could talk about,
Speaker 1: and I think it was fun. So whenever you're in town,
Speaker 1: we should just jump on and do an episode as
Speaker 1: I continue to roll out more a day with k
Speaker 1: events and you know, chats and all that good stuff.
Speaker 1: All right, be sure to find us on Patreon, y'all.
Speaker 1: You can see us with exclusive dead Ass Podcasts video content.
Speaker 1: You can also find us on social media Deadass Podcasts.
Speaker 1: I'm Kadine, I am of course Devo's pages, I am
Speaker 1: de Val and Sakari.
Speaker 2: If people want to.
Speaker 1: Follow your journey, if you're gonna be posting more about
Speaker 1: women's health, where can they find you?
Speaker 2: On Instagram? Call her nurse Sakari, Call her nurse Sakari,
Speaker 2: but don't actually call her.
Speaker 3: I won't be calling with all the nurse stuff, Okay, No,
Speaker 3: I cannot look at it.
Speaker 2: And no, I do not want to see a picture
Speaker 2: the pictures of like your rash and ship like that.
Speaker 2: She don't want your blood results. I don't know. No,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: She might just invite she might invoice you.
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, please be sure
Speaker 1: to rate, review, and subscribe and tell a friend.
Speaker 2: Dead Ass podcast Baby love, y'all peace.
Speaker 4: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
Speaker 4: is produced by Donorpina and Trible, Follow the podcast on
Speaker 4: social media at dead ass the Podcast, and never miss
Speaker 4: a thing