WEBVTT - Life and Death

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<v Speaker 1>This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you today from

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<v Speaker 1>a spectacular location. We couldn't be further from Austin, Texas.

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<v Speaker 2>Literally, I'm looking out at the ocean. I'm feeling blessed, shining,

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<v Speaker 2>shimmer rings splendid, and I'm really happy after having just

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<v Speaker 2>come off of a week about death.

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<v Speaker 1>We are in Maine for a very specific reason. We

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<v Speaker 1>are in specifically Ognquit, Maine. Yes, Ogunquit, Maine, just out

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<v Speaker 1>of Portland, Maine. We're up here because Elz has been

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<v Speaker 1>up here working for a week. Explain to us why

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<v Speaker 1>we're in Maine, why you were in Maine. I talked

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit last week you weren't around, and some

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<v Speaker 1>Mariama Nunos was nice enough to fill in. I was

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<v Speaker 1>explaining to everybody, Oh, you were talking about we were,

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<v Speaker 1>of course, you know, I can't get through a week

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<v Speaker 1>without talking about you, but just how special this week was,

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<v Speaker 1>and I wanted you to tell this story. So I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't fill anybody in. But now we can divulge where

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<v Speaker 1>you have been and why we're in Maine.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, So we have saved this podcast for today, which

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<v Speaker 2>is actually National Grief Awareness Day. It's perfect timing. I've

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<v Speaker 2>just come off of a week of volunteering at a camp,

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<v Speaker 2>a summer camp for children who specifically have experienced a

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<v Speaker 2>major loss in their lives, the loss of a parent,

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<v Speaker 2>or of a sibling, or, if not a parent, their

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<v Speaker 2>primary caregiver. This is a camp an organization, a nonprofit

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<v Speaker 2>called Experience Camps. You will notice my voice is still gone.

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<v Speaker 2>After a week of screaming and yelling and laughing with

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<v Speaker 2>kids NonStop from seven am till midnight every day, the

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<v Speaker 2>voice has failed me again. But Experience Camps was incredible.

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<v Speaker 2>They have multiple locations. I based on our schedules, was

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<v Speaker 2>put at the camp in Maine, camp called Summerset Camp

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<v Speaker 2>for Girls, so this was an all girls camp that

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<v Speaker 2>Experienced Camps does week long camps for girls for boys,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was just incredible. Basically, how the camp works

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<v Speaker 2>is that the idea is kids who have experienced major

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<v Speaker 2>loss are going to be able to come to a

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<v Speaker 2>place with other kids who have experienced major loss, and

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<v Speaker 2>that's very rare for them. Right. I lost my dad

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<v Speaker 2>when I was in college, and I was the first

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<v Speaker 2>person I knew who had experienced loss. So imagine if

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<v Speaker 2>a child is nine years old or twelve years old,

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<v Speaker 2>how few kids they know who have So they're able

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<v Speaker 2>to come to this camp and be around other kids

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<v Speaker 2>who have experienced loss, be comfortable in their grief, talk

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<v Speaker 2>about their grief. Yes, laugh about their grief, because grief

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<v Speaker 2>can't be funny. Can be funny. If we're not laughing,

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<v Speaker 2>we're crying, so it's good to laugh. And then the

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<v Speaker 2>way it works is every single day we do something

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<v Speaker 2>called a sharing circle with a grief specialist with the kids.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a place where for about an hour they can

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<v Speaker 2>talk about their grief, get a little bit of you know,

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<v Speaker 2>counseling on their grief, advice and feedback and help and love.

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<v Speaker 2>And then for the rest of the time it's camp.

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<v Speaker 2>It's fun. It's fun. It's a place for them to escape.

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<v Speaker 2>They do activities. They do soccer and arts and crafts

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<v Speaker 2>and water skiing and.

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<v Speaker 1>That drama as well theater.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, okay, we'll get into it. I did teach

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<v Speaker 2>drama every day. Very excitingly. The camp asked I what

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<v Speaker 2>my experience was, and I said, I got nothing on

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<v Speaker 2>sports on sports, but I do of acting. So they

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<v Speaker 2>let me for the first time teach drama at the camp.

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<v Speaker 1>Every day, can I ask you? And it was wonderful

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<v Speaker 1>before we jump into the nuts and bolts of this camp.

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<v Speaker 1>And there are a many, many reasons why I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>But oh god, I need to explain to everybody how

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<v Speaker 1>this happened, because it is I wish it was more normal,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's not normal what you did and how you

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<v Speaker 1>found this camp. We're going to get involved in supporting

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<v Speaker 1>this camp. And then all of a sudden came to

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<v Speaker 1>me and said, I'm leaving for a week. I'm moving

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<v Speaker 1>to Maine because now I'm a camp counselor. Again, There's

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<v Speaker 1>something that moves me about you is you don't just

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<v Speaker 1>talk about something. You through everything at this Oh wow,

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<v Speaker 1>how did this happen? How did you learn about Experience Camp?

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<v Speaker 3>Well?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it is weird to be in your thirties and

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<v Speaker 2>say to people this summer, I'm going to be a

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<v Speaker 2>camp counselor. So I usually post about my dad. I

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<v Speaker 2>lost my dad when I was in college. My little

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<v Speaker 2>sister was also in college, and my brother was in

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<v Speaker 2>high school. He had been sick, but then he had

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<v Speaker 2>what they call the widow Maker heart attack. That's the

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<v Speaker 2>big one, you're not getting through it. And so it

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<v Speaker 2>was in many ways sudden, and you know, it broke

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<v Speaker 2>my family and we have pulled through. There are so

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<v Speaker 2>many silver linings about grief. I think in many ways,

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<v Speaker 2>grief made me a better person. I look back at

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<v Speaker 2>the kid I was in high school in college and

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<v Speaker 2>like I was kind of worse. It gives you wonderful

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<v Speaker 2>perspective at a young age, and so over the years

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<v Speaker 2>on Instagram, I have usually posted about my dad. On

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<v Speaker 2>the anniversary of his death, I'll try to talk about

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<v Speaker 2>what I've learned about grief this year. A takeaway because

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<v Speaker 2>grief is a process that's life long. It's always with you,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's always changing, and the loss of someone you

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<v Speaker 2>love deeply never leaves you, and that's okay. It also

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<v Speaker 2>gives us wonderful again perspective on life and perspective on joy.

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<v Speaker 2>So I got a message from a follower, and I've

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<v Speaker 2>tried so hard to find this message. So if you

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<v Speaker 2>were this person, please DM me again. A message from

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<v Speaker 2>a follower that said, I know you always post about

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<v Speaker 2>your dad. I feel like you need to know about

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<v Speaker 2>this camp, and they sent me info about Experience Camp. Said, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>my gosh. My first reaction was, I wish I'd known

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<v Speaker 2>about this camp sooner. The first camp was back in

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<v Speaker 2>two thousand and nine, and honestly I would have pushed

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<v Speaker 2>my little brother to go back then because we lost

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<v Speaker 2>my dad in twenty ten, and so I reached out

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<v Speaker 2>to the camp. I think they very gently at first,

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<v Speaker 2>were like, I said, I'd love to be involved in

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<v Speaker 2>some way, and they were like, so, yeah, would you

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<v Speaker 2>like to come see the camp for an afternoon? Would

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<v Speaker 2>you like, like, what would you like to do something

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<v Speaker 2>on zoom? What would you like to do? And I said, well,

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<v Speaker 2>can I come be a counselor for a week? I

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<v Speaker 2>think they were surprised, but very happy and welcoming, and

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<v Speaker 2>they fit me into Maine, and I'm so grateful they did,

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<v Speaker 2>because not only was it I mean I went into it,

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<v Speaker 2>people call it the best week ever. I went into

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<v Speaker 2>it hoping maybe I'll have a positive impact on one kid,

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<v Speaker 2>That's my hope. But instead I walked away thinking that

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<v Speaker 2>was a perfect week. It couldn't have gone better. We laughed,

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<v Speaker 2>we cried. I felt so close to these kids and

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<v Speaker 2>it was wonderful.

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<v Speaker 1>I barely got to talk to you much because phone

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<v Speaker 1>and you're not supposed to have your phone and all that,

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<v Speaker 1>But let me just say when I did get a

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<v Speaker 1>chance to talk to you and I could hear your

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<v Speaker 1>horst voice, I could just tell the impact this camp,

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<v Speaker 1>these kids, the other counselors were having on you. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's almost as if you went to a camp as well.

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<v Speaker 1>You just seem like a changed woman. And the best

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<v Speaker 1>thing I heard from you, I've never been happier, you said.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know that sounds weird. You're at a grief

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<v Speaker 1>camp and.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even remember saying.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, I'm just so happy, and you were kind

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<v Speaker 1>of crying, you were laughing. It just seemed like such

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<v Speaker 1>a beautiful experience. And when I saw you yesterday, because

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<v Speaker 1>we finally just met up again as you were at

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<v Speaker 1>this camp and I flew up here to Maine to

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<v Speaker 1>meet you, you just had this glow about you.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, there's I've always felt there's something first of all,

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<v Speaker 2>really special about all my love to you as my partner,

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<v Speaker 2>but being around other women. So I think it's awesome

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<v Speaker 2>that the camp does girls camps and boys camps. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a very comfortable space and to be around like, look,

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<v Speaker 2>first of all, a group of women gets ish done.

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<v Speaker 2>This camp was so organized. Shout out to Rachel who

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<v Speaker 2>was the director of the camp. So organized, so well

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<v Speaker 2>run set up structurally for support and for joy there.

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<v Speaker 2>One of the camp chants was that was awesome and

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<v Speaker 2>we would chant it for We did a talent show one.

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<v Speaker 1>Night and ran you hosted the talent show. Did that's Barbie?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yes, we'll get into that. But but even if

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<v Speaker 2>a bunk's talent, even if a bunks act didn't go

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<v Speaker 2>super great, we chanted that was awesome because it was

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<v Speaker 2>such a supportive place and everything everybody did was great,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was just a place where like the power

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<v Speaker 2>of being able to be comfortable about grief, and these

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<v Speaker 2>kids talked about that that you know normally in their

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<v Speaker 2>lives they even have to comfort adults about grief, like

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<v Speaker 2>a kid will say, oh, my died, and an adult

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<v Speaker 2>tenses up and doesn't know what to say. And so

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<v Speaker 2>for these kids to be able to be comfortable and

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<v Speaker 2>also for the adults like we're often having I remember

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<v Speaker 2>when I first started dating after my dad died. Look,

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<v Speaker 2>it's very normal people. A guy would say on a date,

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<v Speaker 2>So what do your parents do and where do they

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<v Speaker 2>live and then I have to say, well, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>my mom lives in Chicago, and then where's your dad, Well,

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<v Speaker 2>my dad's dead, and then they're like oh, and then

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, no, it's fine, I'm fine, and really you're

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<v Speaker 2>not fine, but you don't want to scare somebody off.

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<v Speaker 2>So just to be comfortable in grief was really powerful.

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<v Speaker 2>And then to like laugh, I got to give a

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<v Speaker 2>shout out to my bunk the colts. They were so special,

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<v Speaker 2>my co counselors Heather and Cat and Carly, and our

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<v Speaker 2>bunk campers. We had the triplets. We had Nellie and

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<v Speaker 2>Ico and Cammy and Kia and Hayden and Daisy and

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<v Speaker 2>Jaden and Judith, and they were so so wonderful. Was

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<v Speaker 2>blessed to have kids who had been to camp before.

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<v Speaker 2>To see the way that they that camp had affected them.

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<v Speaker 3>How.

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<v Speaker 2>Developed they were as eighth graders in their emotional intelligence

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<v Speaker 2>was so wonderful, and like, at the end of the day,

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<v Speaker 2>these are kids at camp. In the morning we would

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes cry and laugh about our uh we had a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of dead dads. Shout out to the Dead Dad's Club.

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<v Speaker 2>And then late at night like they were farting and

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<v Speaker 2>being silly and like practicing their act for the talent

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<v Speaker 2>show and it was wonderful.

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<v Speaker 1>And it is and I want to express something you

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<v Speaker 1>told me, because honestly, when I heard grief camp, I'm like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So they get together for a week and just live

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<v Speaker 1>in their grief and tell you it's like, no, it's

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<v Speaker 1>a camp. Yes they are. Everyone has this shared grief,

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<v Speaker 1>but this is a camp as well. And they're going

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<v Speaker 1>water skiing and they're playing soccer and arts and crafts

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<v Speaker 1>and all the camp things. It's just they have this

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<v Speaker 1>one singular thing that unites them and made it so beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>And honestly, I have tried over the years, like look,

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<v Speaker 2>I did improv comedy for a long time, and that

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<v Speaker 2>was what I taught this week at camp, improv comedy

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<v Speaker 2>for my drama class. Thank you to Experience Camps for

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<v Speaker 2>letting myself. Bays who's a wonderful Broadway star, and Beanie,

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<v Speaker 2>who's an incredible actress. We got to kind of pilot

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<v Speaker 2>the drama program. We each taught drama every single day,

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<v Speaker 2>and I did improv comedy with the kids because improv

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<v Speaker 2>is about support. The one rule of improv is you

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<v Speaker 2>don't say no you say yes, and and that was

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<v Speaker 2>what camp was about too, and look, you gotta laugh

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<v Speaker 2>about it. My bunk cracked me up. We had great

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<v Speaker 2>conversations where like, look the triplets, their dad died of

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<v Speaker 2>a widow maker too. I said, hey, hi, five for

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<v Speaker 2>a widow maker. You know, it happens. And we just

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<v Speaker 2>had some really funny moments like I remember one of

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<v Speaker 2>my campers shared that when she first found out her

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<v Speaker 2>dad died, her mom told her at night, and her

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<v Speaker 2>mom had just come back from a business trip and

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<v Speaker 2>usually her mom would be her a teddy bear, and

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<v Speaker 2>so she thought she was getting like a teddy bear

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<v Speaker 2>from her mom's business trip, and she goes, I thought

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<v Speaker 2>it was teddy bear time. I soon realized it was

0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:11.840
<v Speaker 2>not teddybear time. So these kids are able to laugh

0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.160
<v Speaker 2>about it, and you know, that's what life's about, right,

0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:18.280
<v Speaker 2>is about finding the joy. So I was so impressed

0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:22.199
<v Speaker 2>with that. They were, you know, here to cry, here

0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.960
<v Speaker 2>to laugh, and that's what connects us all, are those

0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:30.120
<v Speaker 2>shared human emotions. So grief camp shouldn't be scary, and

0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:31.440
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't at all.

0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.600
<v Speaker 1>And speaking of joy, as you brought many people joy

0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:39.080
<v Speaker 1>at camp this week. As Barbie how did you get

0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:41.559
<v Speaker 1>the moniker Barbie again?

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:45.160
<v Speaker 2>My colts the bunk I had, so I don't even

0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:47.080
<v Speaker 2>fully remember how it started. I had brought a pink

0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 2>hat to camp, and then another counselor I'd forgotten a

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.800
<v Speaker 2>fanny pack, and fanny packs are big at camp, and

0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:55.120
<v Speaker 2>another counselor, Hannah, had an extra one and she let

0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:58.920
<v Speaker 2>me wear her pink fanny pack. So I was wearing pink.

0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.200
<v Speaker 2>And then I think some the Barbie movie came up,

0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.160
<v Speaker 2>and my voice doesn't sound like it now, but I

0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 2>was able to do a very good Hi Barbie, Hi Barbie,

0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:10.720
<v Speaker 2>Hi Ken and the campers were like, oh my gosh,

0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:14.200
<v Speaker 2>you sound just like her, and so they started calling

0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:18.040
<v Speaker 2>me Barbie. And then I was showing them I really

0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:21.079
<v Speaker 2>can do a very good walk on the tiptoes. How

0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:24.920
<v Speaker 2>Barbie never, you know, flattens her feet. And it grew

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.760
<v Speaker 2>and grew, and then my wonderful co counselor, Beanie, and

0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.839
<v Speaker 2>I got asked to co host the talent show and

0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:34.960
<v Speaker 2>Beanie goes, oh my gosh, what if you're like stereotypical

0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:38.320
<v Speaker 2>Barbie and I'm weird Barbie. We're like yes, And then

0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:41.600
<v Speaker 2>we had our three judges Jesse and Hannah and Bays

0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.120
<v Speaker 2>and we said, what if they're Kens? So they were Kens,

0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.680
<v Speaker 2>and one of them was, I'm Ken and my job

0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.679
<v Speaker 2>is Lake. I'm Ken and my job is bunk. Jesse

0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.320
<v Speaker 2>runs the camp socials, so she was I'm Ken and

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:58.040
<v Speaker 2>my job is phone. And it was so wonderful. We

0:13:58.080 --> 0:13:59.960
<v Speaker 2>got to be Barbie for all of camp. I've put

0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.360
<v Speaker 2>some videos up on my social please check them out.

0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:05.880
<v Speaker 2>And it was just hilarious because you know, listen, this

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.720
<v Speaker 2>talent show, like everything with Grief Camp, it isn't really

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:10.880
<v Speaker 2>about like a winner or a loser. So the Kens

0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:15.160
<v Speaker 2>gave their job their feedback as Kens. I believe Hannah one.

0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.520
<v Speaker 2>At one point one of the skits, the kids just

0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 2>poured water on each other. They were just being silly.

0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:23.440
<v Speaker 2>But late Ken said, I loved all the water and

0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:26.720
<v Speaker 2>it was great. So yeah, I got to be Barbie.

0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:30.480
<v Speaker 2>And I really I should be thanking Experience Camps for

0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.200
<v Speaker 2>letting me just act and be so much.

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.160
<v Speaker 1>I think I feel like I sent you off to camp.

0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:46.480
<v Speaker 2>It was great. What was it like to not talk

0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:47.160
<v Speaker 2>to me for a week?

0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:49.080
<v Speaker 1>Unbearable?

0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:50.240
<v Speaker 2>Wow, thanks for saying that.

0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:52.080
<v Speaker 1>We really didn't get a chance to talk much, and

0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.200
<v Speaker 1>I was I had to go to Well what made

0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:58.160
<v Speaker 1>it even more difficult this week as I went to

0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.880
<v Speaker 1>a friend's birthday that you obviously a mutual friend of ours.

0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 1>You were at camp and so I was the twenty

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:05.280
<v Speaker 1>ninth wheel at this wed.

0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:07.520
<v Speaker 2>It's about sugared.

0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.240
<v Speaker 1>At this birthday. Yeah, because we just talked about this

0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:11.640
<v Speaker 1>on a podcast of you know, I thought those days

0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:12.240
<v Speaker 1>were over.

0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:13.120
<v Speaker 2>Being the single friend.

0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.560
<v Speaker 1>But I went to Tucson to celebrate a friend's sixtieth

0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:18.920
<v Speaker 1>birthday and everybody, of course, was couples, families, all that,

0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:21.560
<v Speaker 1>and then there was me, but everybody welcome to me.

0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:25.440
<v Speaker 1>And I tried to bring your energy of Barbie. I

0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:30.200
<v Speaker 1>fell short, of course, But it is National Grief Awareness Day,

0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:33.239
<v Speaker 1>which is why it's so apropos to have this discussion

0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:35.840
<v Speaker 1>and dive into this and to help us out. Today

0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 1>we have a very special guest, Elsie. Why don't you

0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:41.840
<v Speaker 1>introduce to our mystery guest today.

0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:43.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh. For the grand finale, we are going

0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:48.400
<v Speaker 2>right to the source of Experienced Camps. Welcome to Jesse Moss,

0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:52.600
<v Speaker 2>Senior marketing manager at Experience Camps. And after this past week,

0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.440
<v Speaker 2>I would now say my very dear friend, borderline family member.

0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:59.080
<v Speaker 2>It's weird how close you get at grief camp, isn't it. Jesse?

0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:01.440
<v Speaker 3>It's so true.

0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:03.880
<v Speaker 4>I just look at you and I will always see

0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:07.800
<v Speaker 4>you as Barbie, So you are forever ingrained.

0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:08.000
<v Speaker 3>In my head.

0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 1>That's funny because I do the same thing, but for

0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:12.840
<v Speaker 1>very different Porson.

0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:16.000
<v Speaker 4>Was on her tiptoes for the Whole and Dire Talent

0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:18.080
<v Speaker 4>Show and I was judged for it, and I was

0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:18.560
<v Speaker 4>just like.

0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:23.480
<v Speaker 3>This girl is commited to the bit. Was it was incredible?

0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.720
<v Speaker 2>You were well, I should clarify yes, actually, maybe should

0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:28.880
<v Speaker 2>have even introduced Jesse this way. Jesse was one of

0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:31.480
<v Speaker 2>the judges. Jesse was phone Ken.

0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, I've seen videos.

0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.400
<v Speaker 2>By the way, Jesse's job was phone okay, because she

0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:41.720
<v Speaker 2>does all of these social media for experience. Camps has

0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:43.760
<v Speaker 2>grown the TikTok too. I think almost one hundred and

0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:47.880
<v Speaker 2>thirty thousand followers at this point. So incredible. So, Jesse,

0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:49.720
<v Speaker 2>you do such great work. And we wanted to bring

0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:53.160
<v Speaker 2>someone on from camp today because again today is National

0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.160
<v Speaker 2>Grief Awareness Day, and wanted to bring in an expert

0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:58.360
<v Speaker 2>to kind of help our audience with some takeaways on

0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.800
<v Speaker 2>how to be more aware of Greek and also to

0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:03.840
<v Speaker 2>raise the awareness of camp. So first I wanted to

0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:05.679
<v Speaker 2>ask you because I've noticed some of my friends have

0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:10.040
<v Speaker 2>asked me this, Why is experience camps called experience camps?

0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:13.120
<v Speaker 4>It's a really, really great question. It actually started back

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:16.840
<v Speaker 4>in two thousand and nine as one program, a boys

0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:20.800
<v Speaker 4>program in Maine, and it was at our now CEO's

0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:24.600
<v Speaker 4>summer camp that she owned with her husband, and the

0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:26.919
<v Speaker 4>name of the camp was Camp Manito and they just

0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:29.800
<v Speaker 4>named it Manito Experience. They were going to have twenty

0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.840
<v Speaker 4>nine kids there, twenty nine boys for a week. They

0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:35.680
<v Speaker 4>had never done it before. And then at the end

0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.120
<v Speaker 4>of the week, they all looked at each other when

0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:41.520
<v Speaker 4>the kids left and kind of had this like holy

0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:44.640
<v Speaker 4>moment of just like what the hell did we just do?

0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 4>Did we break these children? Like what happened? And I

0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.640
<v Speaker 4>think after that they just received so many messages being

0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:54.600
<v Speaker 4>like this was the best thing that ever happened to me.

0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:58.119
<v Speaker 4>I feel I'm not alone now. You changed my life.

0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:00.439
<v Speaker 4>And then they realized, like we need to keep going,

0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:04.119
<v Speaker 4>and so they took it from Manitou Experience to broaden it.

0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:08.560
<v Speaker 4>Now when they started opening new locations to be Experience Camps,

0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:10.800
<v Speaker 4>because there were so many and this year we had

0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:14.399
<v Speaker 4>twelve hundred kids, so up from twenty nine boys in

0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:16.840
<v Speaker 4>Maine to over twelve hundred kids this summer.

0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:18.800
<v Speaker 3>And there's six states.

0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:22.520
<v Speaker 2>Wow, And are there even more applicants? Can you? Is

0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:24.359
<v Speaker 2>there a max number we can take at this point?

0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:27.960
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we had a big wait list this year for

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:32.600
<v Speaker 4>campers and for volunteers, especially because of TikTok. You know,

0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:35.000
<v Speaker 4>so many people. I think grief is already such an

0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:40.280
<v Speaker 4>isolating experience and so places like you know, social media, TikTok, Instagram,

0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:42.600
<v Speaker 4>all these places that like can do a lot of harm,

0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:45.359
<v Speaker 4>also can do a lot of good for people because

0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:47.320
<v Speaker 4>they can realize they're not alone. And that's what our

0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.120
<v Speaker 4>programs do. Like that is one of our primary goals.

0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:53.280
<v Speaker 4>So when people see it, they jump really quickly to

0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.440
<v Speaker 4>want to be a part of it, because a lot

0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:57.320
<v Speaker 4>of people in the real world aren't talking to them

0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:00.439
<v Speaker 4>about their grief, aren't asking them questions, are aren't you know,

0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:03.119
<v Speaker 4>thoughtful and intentional. So the second they see even if

0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:06.280
<v Speaker 4>it's a dark humor video, which is my favorite kind

0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:09.680
<v Speaker 4>of video to make, or these dark humor grief videos,

0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:11.840
<v Speaker 4>because that's just who I am but you know, a

0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:13.199
<v Speaker 4>lot of people want to be a part of it,

0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.000
<v Speaker 4>and I don't blame them, and we want to bring

0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 4>in as many people as we can, but we do

0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:18.760
<v Speaker 4>have a wait list and we do have a limit

0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:21.520
<v Speaker 4>just because of sizing. We aim to grow every year.

0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:25.280
<v Speaker 4>But luckily we have a lot of digital programs that

0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:28.639
<v Speaker 4>we started sort of a silver lining during COVID. So

0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.879
<v Speaker 4>we have like a grief camp in Minecraft for kids.

0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:33.520
<v Speaker 4>So for all the kids that didn't get to go

0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:37.160
<v Speaker 4>to physical camp, we you know, showed them what camp

0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:39.119
<v Speaker 4>and Minecraft could look like. We have a program on

0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:44.040
<v Speaker 4>roadblocks and really just the stat is and it's it's horrible,

0:19:44.080 --> 0:19:46.640
<v Speaker 4>but the status six million kids will experience the death

0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:49.000
<v Speaker 4>of a parent or sibling by the time they turn eighteen,

0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:52.000
<v Speaker 4>and we served twelve hundred, which we're really excited about.

0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:52.800
<v Speaker 3>But how do we.

0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:54.800
<v Speaker 4>Reach those six million? And that's really the work we're

0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.040
<v Speaker 4>trying to do well.

0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:58.840
<v Speaker 2>And the way you just said it's an isolating experience,

0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:01.600
<v Speaker 2>I think that's where I love it being called Experience Camp,

0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:06.640
<v Speaker 2>because to me, it is the grief experience, and it's complicated,

0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:10.080
<v Speaker 2>it's layered, it's different and yet similar for everybody. And

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:12.439
<v Speaker 2>that was a beautiful thing about camp is that you

0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:16.600
<v Speaker 2>connected with people who understand this experience and also realize

0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:21.440
<v Speaker 2>that everybody's experiences are different too. I wanted to ask

0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:25.240
<v Speaker 2>you about where to donate because you just said, you

0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:28.879
<v Speaker 2>know six million kids. Where can people donate so that

0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:31.040
<v Speaker 2>we can help because they know experience. Camps is also

0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.879
<v Speaker 2>looking to the future and potentially opening more locations if possible.

0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:35.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because eight months ago Lauren and I didn't know

0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:39.040
<v Speaker 1>this thing existed, and so now we are involved, but

0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:40.600
<v Speaker 1>would love to get everybody else involved.

0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:42.960
<v Speaker 3>Yes, please, that would be great.

0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:46.960
<v Speaker 4>So we every child that comes through our doors pays

0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:50.159
<v Speaker 4>zero dollars to attend our programs, every single program, and

0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:52.640
<v Speaker 4>we will forever keep it that way. It is so

0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:55.720
<v Speaker 4>important to us because kids are already dealing with so

0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:58.000
<v Speaker 4>much after the death of someone in their life. We

0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:01.320
<v Speaker 4>never ever ever want money to be the reason someone

0:21:01.440 --> 0:21:04.719
<v Speaker 4>does not have access to our resources. But because it

0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:07.080
<v Speaker 4>is free, we do a lot of fundraising. So it

0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.359
<v Speaker 4>actually cost us around twenty five hundred dollars per kid

0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:12.639
<v Speaker 4>to send them to camp and then to have the

0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:14.720
<v Speaker 4>programs that we offer throughout the year, which are like

0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:17.560
<v Speaker 4>Camper reunions. We send them like a birthday postcard, we

0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:20.560
<v Speaker 4>send them a holiday postcard, and we do like game

0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:23.760
<v Speaker 4>show nights and things like that. You could donate on

0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:27.880
<v Speaker 4>our website. It's Experience Caamps dot org slash donate. All

0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:30.439
<v Speaker 4>the money goes, you know, to serving our kids and

0:21:30.480 --> 0:21:33.919
<v Speaker 4>making sure our programs are running and we're growing. Like

0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:36.520
<v Speaker 4>I said, we started with you know, twenty something kids

0:21:36.560 --> 0:21:39.240
<v Speaker 4>in Maine in two thousand and nine, twelve hundred kids

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:42.199
<v Speaker 4>this year, and we have no plans to stop growing.

0:21:42.760 --> 0:21:44.879
<v Speaker 4>We're hoping to open more camps in the future and

0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:47.760
<v Speaker 4>do more digital programs to reach those six million kids.

0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:51.359
<v Speaker 2>So, Jesse, we brought you on as an expert on

0:21:51.400 --> 0:21:53.959
<v Speaker 2>many things from TikTok to grief. At this point, can

0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:55.600
<v Speaker 2>you talk a little bit about your story how you

0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:58.720
<v Speaker 2>got involved in Experienced Camps, because actually Jesse has an

0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:01.480
<v Speaker 2>entertainment media like us. You even worked at EVE for

0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:02.040
<v Speaker 2>a little while.

0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:03.919
<v Speaker 3>I did.

0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:06.720
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I've been all over the place in my career.

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:09.199
<v Speaker 4>I always say I've lived like nine lives. But I

0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:11.480
<v Speaker 4>came to Experience Camps after the death of my brother.

0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:14.040
<v Speaker 4>His name was Jordan, and he died in twenty twelve

0:22:14.119 --> 0:22:17.520
<v Speaker 4>by suicide and for so long, I didn't do anything.

0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 3>I didn't talk to anyone. No one talked to me.

0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:22.080
<v Speaker 4>I didn't even really have a therapist, Like I just

0:22:22.119 --> 0:22:23.760
<v Speaker 4>didn't know what to do, and the world told me

0:22:23.840 --> 0:22:26.359
<v Speaker 4>I should be moving on, so I did. And it

0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:29.040
<v Speaker 4>wasn't until twenty eighteen when someone told me about Experience

0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:31.480
<v Speaker 4>Camps and I came as a volunteer that like my

0:22:31.520 --> 0:22:33.760
<v Speaker 4>world was turned upside down. It was like some of

0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:36.880
<v Speaker 4>the first moments where I said, you know, my brother died,

0:22:36.880 --> 0:22:38.639
<v Speaker 4>this is how he died, this is who he was.

0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:40.000
<v Speaker 3>And people didn't give me that.

0:22:39.920 --> 0:22:43.159
<v Speaker 4>Like ooh, look that you usually get when somebody you

0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:46.280
<v Speaker 4>know offers up information like that, and I just I

0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:49.320
<v Speaker 4>sat there thinking like I need to live here forever,

0:22:50.240 --> 0:22:54.399
<v Speaker 4>like I'm not leaving so hard to leave, and it's

0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:57.560
<v Speaker 4>such a beautiful space and all of the people are amazing,

0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:00.000
<v Speaker 4>and so I ended up applying for a full time job.

0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:02.960
<v Speaker 4>This was in twenty eighteen, got hired as our national

0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:06.800
<v Speaker 4>program manager, and it was it was incredible to sort

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:08.880
<v Speaker 4>of like flip the script on my life, not only

0:23:08.920 --> 0:23:11.600
<v Speaker 4>like in my career, but with my grief too. I

0:23:11.640 --> 0:23:15.040
<v Speaker 4>went from being surrounded by nobody who had experienced grief

0:23:15.080 --> 0:23:18.400
<v Speaker 4>to being around everybody who had experience grief, and that

0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:22.840
<v Speaker 4>is like earth shattering an amazing way. It's hard and

0:23:22.880 --> 0:23:26.160
<v Speaker 4>it's sad, and there's so much grief, but like there's

0:23:26.160 --> 0:23:28.720
<v Speaker 4>so much beauty in it too. And then in twenty

0:23:28.760 --> 0:23:31.960
<v Speaker 4>twenty one, my mom died from a seizure, and having

0:23:32.000 --> 0:23:35.960
<v Speaker 4>that experience was there are no words to explain the

0:23:35.960 --> 0:23:38.440
<v Speaker 4>pain that came with that, but I will say being

0:23:38.480 --> 0:23:42.080
<v Speaker 4>in this community, having experience camps, people around me like

0:23:43.359 --> 0:23:46.920
<v Speaker 4>it was just different. It was just different. I felt seen,

0:23:47.000 --> 0:23:50.240
<v Speaker 4>I felt supportive. People asked me questions. You know, there's

0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 4>no like right thing to say or right thing to do,

0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:55.240
<v Speaker 4>but it felt like people were doing the right things

0:23:55.520 --> 0:23:56.520
<v Speaker 4>and that was huge for me.

0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:01.680
<v Speaker 1>It definitely seem like the counselors got as much, if

0:24:01.680 --> 0:24:03.479
<v Speaker 1>not more, out of these camps than the kids dead.

0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:06.399
<v Speaker 1>I know Lauren came back a changed woman, which almost

0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:07.000
<v Speaker 1>so wonderful.

0:24:07.160 --> 0:24:12.000
<v Speaker 2>You almost feel selfish saying it, but I mean, yeah,

0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:15.000
<v Speaker 2>it is a two way street because you go there

0:24:15.080 --> 0:24:18.399
<v Speaker 2>as a counselor and many not all, but I would

0:24:18.400 --> 0:24:21.560
<v Speaker 2>say do you know this to SUGGESSI I percent of

0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:24.240
<v Speaker 2>counselors had experienced a loss as well. So see she's

0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:26.720
<v Speaker 2>on it, she knows. This is why we needed an expert.

0:24:27.600 --> 0:24:32.560
<v Speaker 2>But you go there and people had different amounts of

0:24:32.560 --> 0:24:34.520
<v Speaker 2>time that had been since their loss. Maybe they had

0:24:34.560 --> 0:24:39.160
<v Speaker 2>different levels of therapy or help. But you, I think,

0:24:39.440 --> 0:24:43.640
<v Speaker 2>just the the simple thing of being surrounded by other

0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:47.680
<v Speaker 2>people who had experienced loss too. Like you said, I mean,

0:24:48.600 --> 0:24:50.880
<v Speaker 2>I was in college when my dad died, so none

0:24:50.920 --> 0:24:52.560
<v Speaker 2>of my but just none of my friends had had

0:24:52.560 --> 0:24:55.359
<v Speaker 2>a loss at that point, and it was the first time. Still,

0:24:55.400 --> 0:24:57.240
<v Speaker 2>at this point in my thirties, most people I know

0:24:57.359 --> 0:25:00.320
<v Speaker 2>still have both their parents. So to be around other

0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:04.040
<v Speaker 2>people who'd experienced significant loss for the first time is

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:07.640
<v Speaker 2>going to make you feel seen for the first time.

0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:10.960
<v Speaker 2>And I yeah, I almost felt selfish in that way.

0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:14.040
<v Speaker 2>So I just kept trying to give as much as

0:25:14.040 --> 0:25:16.240
<v Speaker 2>I could and left camp exhausted because I thought, I

0:25:16.280 --> 0:25:18.040
<v Speaker 2>have to give more than I'm taking from this.

0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:20.520
<v Speaker 3>You're not selfish at all.

0:25:20.600 --> 0:25:24.040
<v Speaker 4>It's so common to hear people say that, Like I

0:25:24.160 --> 0:25:26.440
<v Speaker 4>used to part of my job, you know, a few

0:25:26.480 --> 0:25:29.040
<v Speaker 4>years ago at experience camps, was interviewing all the volunteers,

0:25:29.080 --> 0:25:30.399
<v Speaker 4>and I'd be like, why do you want.

0:25:30.280 --> 0:25:31.880
<v Speaker 3>To do this time?

0:25:31.920 --> 0:25:34.000
<v Speaker 4>After time after time. I want to transform the lives

0:25:34.000 --> 0:25:35.879
<v Speaker 4>of kids. I want to transform the lives of kids,

0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:38.000
<v Speaker 4>and I would I would just sort of laugh to

0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:40.600
<v Speaker 4>myself and like, they don't know, they don't know that

0:25:40.600 --> 0:25:42.399
<v Speaker 4>they're going to leave and they're going to be the

0:25:42.400 --> 0:25:44.879
<v Speaker 4>ones that are transformed. And then you know exactly what

0:25:44.920 --> 0:25:47.520
<v Speaker 4>you're saying. People come home and they're like, I'm different,

0:25:48.040 --> 0:25:50.840
<v Speaker 4>and I feel seen, I feel hurt. You're just on

0:25:50.880 --> 0:25:53.200
<v Speaker 4>a different wavelength when you've experienced the death of someone

0:25:53.280 --> 0:25:55.600
<v Speaker 4>in your life, when you can be around people who

0:25:55.600 --> 0:25:59.399
<v Speaker 4>are on that wavelength, it's just I got the chills

0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:02.440
<v Speaker 4>thinking about it. It's just really incredible. So first pain

0:26:02.560 --> 0:26:03.600
<v Speaker 4>and to purpose.

0:26:04.280 --> 0:26:06.480
<v Speaker 1>So many people are hearing about this for the first time,

0:26:07.480 --> 0:26:11.199
<v Speaker 1>and if they have suffered through this loss themselves and

0:26:11.200 --> 0:26:14.440
<v Speaker 1>they're listening to this, or they have a child, talk

0:26:14.440 --> 0:26:17.120
<v Speaker 1>about the age group, how they can get involved when

0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:20.000
<v Speaker 1>these camps start. Are they throughout the year? As you said,

0:26:20.040 --> 0:26:23.040
<v Speaker 1>they're in six different states now, so kind of give

0:26:23.480 --> 0:26:25.920
<v Speaker 1>folks hearing about this for the first time details.

0:26:26.600 --> 0:26:27.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, absolutely so.

0:26:28.720 --> 0:26:32.199
<v Speaker 4>Our application process for twenty twenty four will open on

0:26:32.240 --> 0:26:36.120
<v Speaker 4>November first on our website Experience Camps dot Org. So

0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:38.760
<v Speaker 4>the kids that we take are going into fourth grade

0:26:38.840 --> 0:26:42.520
<v Speaker 4>in the summer through going into twelfth grade in the summer,

0:26:42.600 --> 0:26:45.520
<v Speaker 4>So that comes out to like nine to seventeen ish.

0:26:46.040 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 4>For volunteers, you just have to be nineteen. You don't

0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:51.399
<v Speaker 4>have to have experienced the depth of anyone in your

0:26:51.440 --> 0:26:52.879
<v Speaker 4>life like you can come and just be a good

0:26:52.920 --> 0:26:56.800
<v Speaker 4>person who wants to help. Those also open on November first,

0:26:56.840 --> 0:26:59.360
<v Speaker 4>and then all of our camps are basically in August

0:27:00.160 --> 0:27:03.360
<v Speaker 4>because we're using other camp facilities. We basically when their

0:27:03.440 --> 0:27:05.720
<v Speaker 4>kids leave, we come in, so they all happen to

0:27:05.720 --> 0:27:07.720
<v Speaker 4>be in August. So if you've got you know, a

0:27:07.760 --> 0:27:10.840
<v Speaker 4>free week in August or this speaks to you definitely,

0:27:10.880 --> 0:27:13.640
<v Speaker 4>you know, sign up for our newsletter, get your name

0:27:13.680 --> 0:27:16.680
<v Speaker 4>in there on November first, because we fill it fast.

0:27:16.760 --> 0:27:19.639
<v Speaker 2>Now, Jesse, I'm gonna throw a big question at you.

0:27:19.720 --> 0:27:23.000
<v Speaker 2>But having gone through loss yourself and also working at

0:27:23.040 --> 0:27:26.439
<v Speaker 2>experienced camps and around loss for years now, today is

0:27:26.640 --> 0:27:29.840
<v Speaker 2>National Grief Awareness Day, what do you wish people were

0:27:29.880 --> 0:27:34.879
<v Speaker 2>more aware of about grief? How long do you have

0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:39.119
<v Speaker 2>that turns out, it turns out our entire lives because

0:27:39.119 --> 0:27:40.480
<v Speaker 2>the grief process is never over.

0:27:40.560 --> 0:27:43.280
<v Speaker 4>So but I'm ching that was gonna be one of

0:27:43.280 --> 0:27:46.280
<v Speaker 4>my answers actually is you know a lot of people say,

0:27:47.320 --> 0:27:50.720
<v Speaker 4>you know, a year later, like shouldn't you be moved

0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:52.040
<v Speaker 4>on by now, like.

0:27:52.119 --> 0:27:54.120
<v Speaker 3>That was a year ago, or even like.

0:27:54.160 --> 0:27:57.159
<v Speaker 4>My brother died eleven years ago, and people are like,

0:27:57.320 --> 0:27:59.959
<v Speaker 4>that's still effects you. That's something that like you deal with,

0:28:00.240 --> 0:28:02.840
<v Speaker 4>that's a long time. A lot can happen in eleven years.

0:28:03.200 --> 0:28:06.160
<v Speaker 4>But you're absolutely right, the grief process never ends. It's

0:28:06.160 --> 0:28:11.000
<v Speaker 4>with us for life. And sometimes I've heard people say,

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:13.680
<v Speaker 4>like it gets worse as time goes on because you're

0:28:13.680 --> 0:28:16.080
<v Speaker 4>missing them more or things are happening in your life

0:28:16.160 --> 0:28:20.440
<v Speaker 4>where they're not present for And I think another thing

0:28:21.040 --> 0:28:23.359
<v Speaker 4>that I would love to share with with your audiences

0:28:23.440 --> 0:28:26.760
<v Speaker 4>is like, while there's no right way to show up

0:28:26.760 --> 0:28:29.400
<v Speaker 4>for someone after someone dies in their life, and there's

0:28:29.400 --> 0:28:32.400
<v Speaker 4>no perfect thing to say, there are things better than

0:28:32.400 --> 0:28:35.439
<v Speaker 4>what you're probably currently going with. Like many of our

0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:38.400
<v Speaker 4>kids say I'm sorry for your loss just doesn't work

0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:40.760
<v Speaker 4>for them, you know, the classic like oh, I'm sorry

0:28:40.800 --> 0:28:42.320
<v Speaker 4>for your loss, and then the kid has to be

0:28:42.400 --> 0:28:45.960
<v Speaker 4>like it's okay or thanks, and they don't. They don't

0:28:45.960 --> 0:28:48.640
<v Speaker 4>feel comfortable with that and even if you genuinely mean it,

0:28:48.680 --> 0:28:51.880
<v Speaker 4>there's just some there are better things to say. You know,

0:28:51.920 --> 0:28:53.720
<v Speaker 4>a lot of people will say something like let me

0:28:53.760 --> 0:28:55.880
<v Speaker 4>know if there's anything I could do for you. But

0:28:55.960 --> 0:28:57.960
<v Speaker 4>after my mom died, I got that like ten times

0:28:57.960 --> 0:29:00.320
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like, okay, Paul from high school. Oh, I'll

0:29:00.360 --> 0:29:01.280
<v Speaker 4>be sure to call you if.

0:29:01.160 --> 0:29:01.720
<v Speaker 2>I need eggs.

0:29:02.120 --> 0:29:04.920
<v Speaker 3>There's no you know, like what am I going to

0:29:05.000 --> 0:29:05.400
<v Speaker 3>do with that?

0:29:05.600 --> 0:29:08.400
<v Speaker 4>So I always tell people like, concrete things that you

0:29:08.440 --> 0:29:11.160
<v Speaker 4>can do for someone are so important, Like you know

0:29:11.200 --> 0:29:12.880
<v Speaker 4>you can ask them when you're ready. I would love

0:29:12.880 --> 0:29:15.440
<v Speaker 4>to hear a story about your mom or I remember

0:29:15.520 --> 0:29:17.560
<v Speaker 4>when you know we were kids, your mom did this,

0:29:18.200 --> 0:29:20.239
<v Speaker 4>or as simple as hey, I'm going to go to

0:29:20.240 --> 0:29:22.960
<v Speaker 4>the grocery store today. I'm going to get you eggs, milk,

0:29:23.000 --> 0:29:24.520
<v Speaker 4>and butter, and if I don't care from you by

0:29:24.520 --> 0:29:26.440
<v Speaker 4>three o'clock, I'll be at your house at three thirty.

0:29:26.840 --> 0:29:29.280
<v Speaker 4>Just really concrete things that you can do for people

0:29:29.720 --> 0:29:31.760
<v Speaker 4>really go a long way and make the person who's

0:29:31.760 --> 0:29:35.959
<v Speaker 4>grieving feel seen and understood rather than sort of isolated

0:29:36.000 --> 0:29:36.560
<v Speaker 4>and confused.

0:29:36.680 --> 0:29:37.520
<v Speaker 1>Be proactive.

0:29:37.840 --> 0:29:39.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think a lot of what you're saying is

0:29:40.200 --> 0:29:43.080
<v Speaker 2>a lot of response that people automatically go with like

0:29:43.120 --> 0:29:45.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry for your loss or what can I do

0:29:45.840 --> 0:29:48.240
<v Speaker 2>to help? Puts the onus back on the grieving person.

0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:50.760
<v Speaker 2>Like you said, then they have to comfort them and

0:29:50.760 --> 0:29:53.440
<v Speaker 2>say oh, it's okay when it's not, or try it.

0:29:53.480 --> 0:29:55.040
<v Speaker 2>They have to try to think of something or just

0:29:55.040 --> 0:29:56.880
<v Speaker 2>say no, I don't need anything, when really they do.

0:29:57.240 --> 0:29:57.640
<v Speaker 3>Totally.

0:30:08.160 --> 0:30:10.440
<v Speaker 1>What about the timing of it, because Lorna and I

0:30:10.440 --> 0:30:12.040
<v Speaker 1>were laughing, and I know some of the kids talked

0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:15.200
<v Speaker 1>about this at camp. Look, locks and bagels are great

0:30:15.240 --> 0:30:18.000
<v Speaker 1>that first week, the castle roles are wonderful.

0:30:18.360 --> 0:30:21.600
<v Speaker 2>But this I had one camper say, gosh, that first

0:30:21.640 --> 0:30:26.400
<v Speaker 2>week we ate like kings because and then another iconic

0:30:26.480 --> 0:30:29.600
<v Speaker 2>quote from our bunk, a camper goes man, people really

0:30:29.600 --> 0:30:33.120
<v Speaker 2>thought edible arrangements were going to cure my grief, but

0:30:33.680 --> 0:30:35.680
<v Speaker 2>to dark humor, Jesse, dark humor.

0:30:35.760 --> 0:30:38.280
<v Speaker 1>But to that joke, to that joke, is there something

0:30:38.400 --> 0:30:41.320
<v Speaker 1>that we and I say we people that haven't experienced

0:30:41.320 --> 0:30:45.120
<v Speaker 1>this and working with people who just lost somebody, is

0:30:45.160 --> 0:30:47.960
<v Speaker 1>there a timing thing of week two, week three, week four,

0:30:48.000 --> 0:30:50.800
<v Speaker 1>when the circus moves out of town and you are

0:30:50.840 --> 0:30:52.120
<v Speaker 1>still sitting there with your grief.

0:30:53.320 --> 0:30:56.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, It's an amazing question. And I actually saw stat

0:30:56.160 --> 0:31:01.160
<v Speaker 4>recently that four kids specifically who are grieving, after three months,

0:31:01.200 --> 0:31:05.320
<v Speaker 4>pretty much everyone disappears from their life. And there's a

0:31:05.360 --> 0:31:07.520
<v Speaker 4>couple of things you can do. I think we go

0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:09.800
<v Speaker 4>back to what we had just been talking about. Grief

0:31:09.840 --> 0:31:12.880
<v Speaker 4>never ends, and so what can you do knowing grief

0:31:12.920 --> 0:31:15.280
<v Speaker 4>never ends? So here are some things that I'll tell people.

0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:19.520
<v Speaker 4>Is one, put that person's birthday and the day that

0:31:19.560 --> 0:31:22.080
<v Speaker 4>they died in your calendar. Put it in your calendar

0:31:22.120 --> 0:31:25.720
<v Speaker 4>and set it as a reoccurring calendar invite. So every

0:31:25.800 --> 0:31:28.160
<v Speaker 4>year when that comes up, you know, I'm going to

0:31:28.160 --> 0:31:30.160
<v Speaker 4>this person. Our lives get so busy, we're going to

0:31:30.240 --> 0:31:33.160
<v Speaker 4>forget those days. Put it in your calendar, super important.

0:31:33.600 --> 0:31:37.040
<v Speaker 4>And then the other thing is like a random Tuesday

0:31:37.960 --> 0:31:40.400
<v Speaker 4>or a Sunday night, when like nothing is going on,

0:31:41.120 --> 0:31:44.240
<v Speaker 4>reach out to that person, say something, ask for a story,

0:31:44.280 --> 0:31:47.960
<v Speaker 4>tell them a story, interact with them, because those days,

0:31:48.240 --> 0:31:50.600
<v Speaker 4>while the birthdays and the death ofversaries and three months

0:31:50.600 --> 0:31:53.239
<v Speaker 4>in and one month in, those are excruciating. So it

0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:55.560
<v Speaker 4>was like a Sunday three years in, Like I have

0:31:55.600 --> 0:31:58.000
<v Speaker 4>a friend who still texts me asking me for stories

0:31:58.040 --> 0:31:59.960
<v Speaker 4>about my mom my mom died over two years ago.

0:32:00.000 --> 0:32:01.360
<v Speaker 3>So I think it's those.

0:32:01.280 --> 0:32:06.840
<v Speaker 4>Random days check in consistently, the birthday, the death of versary.

0:32:06.920 --> 0:32:09.600
<v Speaker 4>And then we've heard that holidays are really hard for people,

0:32:09.800 --> 0:32:12.880
<v Speaker 4>you know, especially if someone's missing at the table or

0:32:12.920 --> 0:32:14.840
<v Speaker 4>they used to go to this person's house that died.

0:32:15.160 --> 0:32:17.360
<v Speaker 4>Those days can be really hard. And then of course

0:32:17.360 --> 0:32:20.240
<v Speaker 4>Mother's Day, Father's Day. I always used to joke like

0:32:20.680 --> 0:32:23.160
<v Speaker 4>National Siblings Day seems to be every month or is

0:32:23.200 --> 0:32:26.440
<v Speaker 4>it just me watching all these people post pictures of

0:32:26.440 --> 0:32:29.240
<v Speaker 4>their siblings, And I'm like, well, I know that, so

0:32:29.600 --> 0:32:32.080
<v Speaker 4>there's days, but also it's like all the time.

0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:35.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think that's the griefs. Yeah, that's probably one

0:32:35.520 --> 0:32:37.760
<v Speaker 2>of the biggest things for me. Is and I actually

0:32:37.800 --> 0:32:41.120
<v Speaker 2>remember telling you this, babe in our relationship is I

0:32:41.200 --> 0:32:43.400
<v Speaker 2>like actively told you I want to talk about my

0:32:43.480 --> 0:32:48.680
<v Speaker 2>dad because I think people assume, you know, even if

0:32:48.720 --> 0:32:50.320
<v Speaker 2>even if they know you've had a loss, and I

0:32:50.400 --> 0:32:52.680
<v Speaker 2>know they're coming from a place of trying to be sensitive,

0:32:52.760 --> 0:32:55.440
<v Speaker 2>but if I bring up my dad, I've noticed friends

0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:58.800
<v Speaker 2>will sort of you can physically see them tends up

0:32:58.800 --> 0:33:00.920
<v Speaker 2>a little bit, get on edge, and then they don't

0:33:00.960 --> 0:33:03.480
<v Speaker 2>know what to say, and and then you almost have

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:05.240
<v Speaker 2>to say, look, I'm not trying to bring the mood down,

0:33:05.480 --> 0:33:07.240
<v Speaker 2>like I want to talk about my dad. I want

0:33:07.240 --> 0:33:09.680
<v Speaker 2>to still tell stories about him. If he was here,

0:33:09.760 --> 0:33:12.080
<v Speaker 2>I would still be, you know, saying, oh, Dad, remember

0:33:12.120 --> 0:33:13.600
<v Speaker 2>when you did this, So you don't want to lose

0:33:13.640 --> 0:33:16.640
<v Speaker 2>those memories. I love that people still text you asking

0:33:16.680 --> 0:33:19.040
<v Speaker 2>for stories about your mom. I would love it if

0:33:19.040 --> 0:33:21.680
<v Speaker 2>somebody thought about my dad and my family, like send

0:33:21.680 --> 0:33:23.720
<v Speaker 2>that textile, let's keep his memory alive.

0:33:24.720 --> 0:33:27.040
<v Speaker 1>And people are worried you're going to kind of, you know,

0:33:27.520 --> 0:33:28.240
<v Speaker 1>rip that scabble.

0:33:28.280 --> 0:33:31.320
<v Speaker 2>They're worried they're going to upset you. Yeah, I think, Yeah.

0:33:31.160 --> 0:33:33.120
<v Speaker 4>It's interesting that you say that, and I've gotten that

0:33:33.160 --> 0:33:35.000
<v Speaker 4>a lot, Like I don't want to make you sad.

0:33:35.120 --> 0:33:38.120
<v Speaker 4>And my reaction is like I'm already yeah, you.

0:33:38.040 --> 0:33:39.160
<v Speaker 1>Know, my mom died.

0:33:39.240 --> 0:33:43.920
<v Speaker 4>I'm ready said, my mom literally died. I'm sorry, random friend, Like,

0:33:43.920 --> 0:33:46.440
<v Speaker 4>you're not going to be more sad, and it exists

0:33:46.480 --> 0:33:48.840
<v Speaker 4>in me. My grief is me. I am my grief,

0:33:48.920 --> 0:33:51.000
<v Speaker 4>so like if that is a part of me, Like

0:33:51.360 --> 0:33:53.960
<v Speaker 4>I can't get more sad than I already am. Like sure,

0:33:54.000 --> 0:33:56.040
<v Speaker 4>maybe I'm having the best day ever. But if you

0:33:56.840 --> 0:33:59.360
<v Speaker 4>text me asking me about my mom, it actually makes

0:33:59.400 --> 0:34:02.480
<v Speaker 4>me happy because it feels like her memory is living

0:34:02.520 --> 0:34:04.760
<v Speaker 4>on rather than people just ignoring it. So I think

0:34:04.800 --> 0:34:08.959
<v Speaker 4>that's really important. It's like we're already sad, don't worry

0:34:09.000 --> 0:34:10.320
<v Speaker 4>about it.

0:34:10.320 --> 0:34:12.560
<v Speaker 2>It was interesting to hear some of the kids talk

0:34:12.600 --> 0:34:15.719
<v Speaker 2>about the way that they talk about their parents. Some

0:34:15.760 --> 0:34:17.719
<v Speaker 2>of them said that when they meet people, and I

0:34:17.840 --> 0:34:20.080
<v Speaker 2>used to do this too, when they meet people for

0:34:20.120 --> 0:34:22.800
<v Speaker 2>the first time, they actually pretend their parents is alive

0:34:22.960 --> 0:34:25.480
<v Speaker 2>because they don't want to get into the complexity of

0:34:25.520 --> 0:34:27.719
<v Speaker 2>explaining it to a new person, and then they'll just

0:34:27.800 --> 0:34:31.200
<v Speaker 2>end up comforting that new person. So yeah, I think

0:34:31.200 --> 0:34:33.720
<v Speaker 2>one of the biggest takeaways too, is just that initial reaction,

0:34:33.880 --> 0:34:36.239
<v Speaker 2>like you said, maybe instead of tensing up and saying, oh,

0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:38.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry for your loss, if someone tells you that,

0:34:38.160 --> 0:34:40.839
<v Speaker 2>say hey, thanks for sharing that. Gosh, you know what

0:34:40.880 --> 0:34:43.920
<v Speaker 2>was your dad's name or you know what was he like,

0:34:44.640 --> 0:34:48.360
<v Speaker 2>and it really can just totally change not just the conversation,

0:34:48.520 --> 0:34:50.120
<v Speaker 2>but a person's whole perception of you.

0:34:51.320 --> 0:34:53.920
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, well, you too have given people a lot

0:34:53.960 --> 0:34:57.359
<v Speaker 1>of tools. So it is National Grief Day. So if

0:34:57.440 --> 0:35:00.000
<v Speaker 1>you are listening to this podcast, and you know somebody

0:35:00.080 --> 0:35:03.360
<v Speaker 1>who has lost somebody, reach out today, ask them for

0:35:03.400 --> 0:35:05.360
<v Speaker 1>a story, ask them to tell you something about the

0:35:05.360 --> 0:35:07.279
<v Speaker 1>person they lost, or you tell a story like we

0:35:07.320 --> 0:35:10.279
<v Speaker 1>have given you the tools, do something today, make that

0:35:10.360 --> 0:35:13.400
<v Speaker 1>a point and being National Grief Day before we let

0:35:13.480 --> 0:35:15.960
<v Speaker 1>you go. Is there something you want to say to

0:35:16.000 --> 0:35:20.000
<v Speaker 1>the masses and everybody listening today?

0:35:20.200 --> 0:35:21.520
<v Speaker 3>So much, Chris, so much.

0:35:21.600 --> 0:35:26.840
<v Speaker 4>But you know, I think grief is I know, grief

0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:29.000
<v Speaker 4>is something that is going to happen to one hundred

0:35:29.000 --> 0:35:32.200
<v Speaker 4>percent of us, one hundred percent. Not one person on

0:35:32.239 --> 0:35:35.200
<v Speaker 4>this earth will be spared. So the sooner we start

0:35:35.239 --> 0:35:37.960
<v Speaker 4>talking about it and making it less taboo and showing

0:35:38.080 --> 0:35:41.400
<v Speaker 4>up for the people in our lives, the more comfortable

0:35:41.480 --> 0:35:44.200
<v Speaker 4>will feel. It'll still be excruciating when it happens. It

0:35:44.200 --> 0:35:46.719
<v Speaker 4>will still be the worst experience like you may ever

0:35:46.760 --> 0:35:49.480
<v Speaker 4>have in your life. But if we stop making grief

0:35:49.560 --> 0:35:52.200
<v Speaker 4>so taboo and we can have those conversations and we

0:35:52.239 --> 0:35:55.319
<v Speaker 4>can stop making those like ooh faces when someone tells

0:35:55.400 --> 0:35:57.799
<v Speaker 4>us that, the better prepared we are for when it

0:35:57.840 --> 0:36:00.200
<v Speaker 4>happens to us. So I think, like Chris said, like

0:36:00.280 --> 0:36:03.960
<v Speaker 4>it's simple, It's really really simple. Like one step today

0:36:04.040 --> 0:36:06.640
<v Speaker 4>take one step today. Send out a text, even if

0:36:06.640 --> 0:36:09.319
<v Speaker 4>it's just a heart I'm thinking of you. Send send

0:36:09.400 --> 0:36:12.439
<v Speaker 4>that one tiny, tiny moment, and the sooner we're able

0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:14.400
<v Speaker 4>to talk about it and make it less taboo, the

0:36:14.440 --> 0:36:16.200
<v Speaker 4>better our world will really be.

0:36:16.719 --> 0:36:19.279
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much, Jesse, thanks for your time. Again.

0:36:19.320 --> 0:36:21.959
<v Speaker 2>It's experience camps dot org. You can learn more about

0:36:21.960 --> 0:36:25.560
<v Speaker 2>the camps there. You can donate their follow Experience Camps

0:36:25.600 --> 0:36:28.640
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram and TikTok and Jesse, in honor of you,

0:36:29.360 --> 0:36:31.040
<v Speaker 2>I think we're just going to end this interview with

0:36:31.680 --> 0:36:33.920
<v Speaker 2>one of your wonderfully dark humored tiktoks. We're going to

0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:38.880
<v Speaker 2>play out you with the slogans that this summer you

0:36:39.000 --> 0:36:41.960
<v Speaker 2>had kids come up with new slogans for grief camp.

0:36:42.040 --> 0:36:44.279
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Jesse, You're so welcome here.

0:36:44.320 --> 0:36:48.880
<v Speaker 4>They are asking kids new grief camp slogans Peep dying,

0:36:49.400 --> 0:36:50.400
<v Speaker 4>wee vibe in.

0:36:51.160 --> 0:36:56.400
<v Speaker 1>Let's family, more friends die, laugh and love be all

0:36:56.640 --> 0:36:58.440
<v Speaker 1>smiles for grieving child.

0:36:59.280 --> 0:37:03.840
<v Speaker 2>Damn it, years and overcoming fears came to grief, didn't

0:37:03.840 --> 0:37:08.400
<v Speaker 2>want to leave, weeping sorrows, happy tomorrows obsessed. I think

0:37:08.480 --> 0:37:17.680
<v Speaker 2>my favorite one was less family, more friends, looks.

0:37:17.120 --> 0:37:19.200
<v Speaker 1>That surprised me as someone who has not dealt with

0:37:19.360 --> 0:37:23.120
<v Speaker 1>this like you have the laughter and the jokes and

0:37:23.239 --> 0:37:25.319
<v Speaker 1>all that, because it's for for us, it's something that's

0:37:25.360 --> 0:37:27.000
<v Speaker 1>so taboo we would not want to, you know, it'd

0:37:27.040 --> 0:37:28.160
<v Speaker 1>be like tiptoeing on glass.

0:37:28.400 --> 0:37:30.600
<v Speaker 2>Well, one thing we all talked about at camp is

0:37:31.040 --> 0:37:35.640
<v Speaker 2>how wild is it that grief is a guaranteed experience

0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:39.560
<v Speaker 2>in every human being on this planet's life, and yet

0:37:40.040 --> 0:37:42.960
<v Speaker 2>we are not educated about it in school. We are

0:37:43.080 --> 0:37:47.400
<v Speaker 2>not not only not educated about how to experience grief ourselves,

0:37:47.440 --> 0:37:50.759
<v Speaker 2>but how to talk to someone who's experienced grief. There

0:37:50.920 --> 0:37:54.160
<v Speaker 2>is no real discussion of grief in school, like you

0:37:54.320 --> 0:37:56.960
<v Speaker 2>learn sex said, but you don't learn death ed and

0:37:57.200 --> 0:38:02.920
<v Speaker 2>so experience CAM just bringing that awareness through their social

0:38:03.000 --> 0:38:05.920
<v Speaker 2>through the camps itself, is really doing work that we

0:38:06.040 --> 0:38:11.239
<v Speaker 2>should all be getting. And it was interesting for me

0:38:12.040 --> 0:38:16.840
<v Speaker 2>because grief is again, it's always with us, and that's okay.

0:38:17.160 --> 0:38:21.000
<v Speaker 2>Like I want to remember my dad, and I think

0:38:21.080 --> 0:38:24.640
<v Speaker 2>a takeaway I had from camp this week was I

0:38:24.840 --> 0:38:30.640
<v Speaker 2>was surprised by how much I cried it in my mind.

0:38:30.800 --> 0:38:32.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, it had been thirteen years since I lost

0:38:32.840 --> 0:38:35.760
<v Speaker 2>my dad, and I have done a lot of healing

0:38:35.800 --> 0:38:37.480
<v Speaker 2>I feel confident in saying that I'm not in the

0:38:37.520 --> 0:38:39.880
<v Speaker 2>same place that I was when he first died, and

0:38:40.160 --> 0:38:44.240
<v Speaker 2>I want to tell people that the phrase time heals

0:38:44.360 --> 0:38:47.560
<v Speaker 2>and this too shall pass, like grief does get better,

0:38:47.680 --> 0:38:50.760
<v Speaker 2>it does get easier. It is not this hopeless, endless

0:38:50.880 --> 0:38:55.239
<v Speaker 2>road of sadness. But I was reminded this week that

0:38:55.360 --> 0:38:58.479
<v Speaker 2>it's important to still kind of think about that pain.

0:39:00.520 --> 0:39:03.719
<v Speaker 2>I thought, I'm very healed and and I don't really

0:39:03.920 --> 0:39:06.120
<v Speaker 2>have those big, deep cries that I used to have.

0:39:07.000 --> 0:39:09.640
<v Speaker 2>But I was shocked in our sharing circles that we

0:39:09.719 --> 0:39:12.680
<v Speaker 2>did every day this week, and in our campfires. We

0:39:12.800 --> 0:39:16.480
<v Speaker 2>had three campfires during the week. We're at campfire, you

0:39:17.080 --> 0:39:19.480
<v Speaker 2>hear letters from some campers that they've written to their

0:39:19.560 --> 0:39:22.839
<v Speaker 2>lost person, or even at the very last campfire, every

0:39:22.920 --> 0:39:25.960
<v Speaker 2>single camper gets up and says who their person was

0:39:26.040 --> 0:39:29.880
<v Speaker 2>that they lost and maybe says something about them. I

0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:32.920
<v Speaker 2>was surprised that I cried every single time when I

0:39:33.000 --> 0:39:40.880
<v Speaker 2>started talking about my dad, and I won't, and it

0:39:41.080 --> 0:39:43.880
<v Speaker 2>really made me realize that I need to make a

0:39:43.920 --> 0:39:49.080
<v Speaker 2>little space to cry about him sometimes, like that's okay

0:39:49.400 --> 0:39:54.279
<v Speaker 2>when someone is that that powerful of a force in

0:39:54.400 --> 0:39:58.399
<v Speaker 2>your life, your parent, like You're still going to feel

0:39:58.440 --> 0:40:01.360
<v Speaker 2>that sadness, and it's important and to feel that sadness.

0:40:02.000 --> 0:40:04.239
<v Speaker 2>And I'm really grateful that Camp reminded me of that

0:40:04.400 --> 0:40:07.440
<v Speaker 2>this week. And loss is complicated.

0:40:07.560 --> 0:40:07.680
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:40:07.800 --> 0:40:12.520
<v Speaker 2>We had people who had lost parents who were abusive,

0:40:13.080 --> 0:40:16.680
<v Speaker 2>so maybe they aren't missing that person. Maybe that loss

0:40:16.880 --> 0:40:19.400
<v Speaker 2>was in some ways a relief, but it's still painful.

0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:22.399
<v Speaker 2>We had people who lost parents they'd never known, maybe

0:40:22.400 --> 0:40:24.880
<v Speaker 2>their parents died before they were ever born. But a

0:40:24.960 --> 0:40:28.640
<v Speaker 2>beautiful thing about Camp was, no matter what your loss is,

0:40:29.160 --> 0:40:33.360
<v Speaker 2>we respect the differences in grief, and we celebrate that

0:40:33.560 --> 0:40:37.279
<v Speaker 2>some of those experiences that think qualities about those experiences

0:40:37.400 --> 0:40:40.400
<v Speaker 2>are similar and bind us all and unite us all

0:40:41.000 --> 0:40:41.520
<v Speaker 2>before we go.

0:40:43.400 --> 0:40:46.560
<v Speaker 1>I think we'd be remiss if you didn't tell us

0:40:46.600 --> 0:40:47.680
<v Speaker 1>a quick story about your dad.

0:40:49.480 --> 0:40:50.960
<v Speaker 2>One story that I shared this week. We had a

0:40:51.040 --> 0:40:53.960
<v Speaker 2>great activity in our sharing circles where the kids got

0:40:54.000 --> 0:40:57.560
<v Speaker 2>given a blank puzzle and they could draw on the puzzle,

0:40:58.200 --> 0:41:02.320
<v Speaker 2>and the idea was, what are the pieces of that

0:41:02.520 --> 0:41:04.960
<v Speaker 2>person that you remember or that matter to you? What

0:41:05.040 --> 0:41:08.160
<v Speaker 2>are pieces of the puzzle of grief interpreted how you want.

0:41:09.800 --> 0:41:13.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm really bad at drawing, but I just drew music

0:41:13.880 --> 0:41:18.880
<v Speaker 2>notes and I tried to draw stage, which was just

0:41:19.000 --> 0:41:23.840
<v Speaker 2>a hater walk. My dad and I, like probably a

0:41:23.880 --> 0:41:26.279
<v Speaker 2>lot of people relate to driving their kids around. I

0:41:26.400 --> 0:41:28.640
<v Speaker 2>know you've talked about how driving the kids, being their

0:41:28.719 --> 0:41:31.280
<v Speaker 2>uber driver before they get their license, is such quality

0:41:31.320 --> 0:41:33.440
<v Speaker 2>important time in the car where you kind of get

0:41:33.480 --> 0:41:35.799
<v Speaker 2>them to yourself and you get to hear about their

0:41:35.880 --> 0:41:38.120
<v Speaker 2>day and they're they're actually listening to you and a

0:41:38.200 --> 0:41:41.759
<v Speaker 2>captive audience. My dad and I used to He would

0:41:41.800 --> 0:41:44.160
<v Speaker 2>pick me up. He was always the picker up er

0:41:44.640 --> 0:41:47.560
<v Speaker 2>after you know, me being at a friend's house and

0:41:48.200 --> 0:41:51.919
<v Speaker 2>we would listen to Frank Sinatra and we would talk,

0:41:52.080 --> 0:41:54.239
<v Speaker 2>and Frank Sinatra was our thing and one of my

0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:57.239
<v Speaker 2>favorite memories. I can't believe I have this memory, but

0:41:58.120 --> 0:42:00.759
<v Speaker 2>when I was four, my dad took me to see

0:42:00.760 --> 0:42:04.320
<v Speaker 2>Frank Sinatra. My first concert was Frank Sinatra, and I

0:42:04.560 --> 0:42:06.520
<v Speaker 2>remember he picked me up and sat me on his

0:42:06.640 --> 0:42:09.400
<v Speaker 2>lap so I could see. And the fact that like

0:42:10.200 --> 0:42:12.759
<v Speaker 2>even that I was four years old and he was

0:42:12.840 --> 0:42:17.120
<v Speaker 2>taking the time to have that experience with me. I'm

0:42:17.520 --> 0:42:19.440
<v Speaker 2>so grateful for it that I had a dad like that.

0:42:19.600 --> 0:42:22.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm so grateful that even for the short amount of

0:42:22.239 --> 0:42:24.440
<v Speaker 2>time I had him that I had a dad who

0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:29.560
<v Speaker 2>showed me love and who taught me love, and you know,

0:42:29.680 --> 0:42:31.399
<v Speaker 2>not everybody has that, and I saw that this week,

0:42:31.520 --> 0:42:32.960
<v Speaker 2>So I'm very grateful.

0:42:33.600 --> 0:42:38.000
<v Speaker 1>A contest that Lauren will never lose to anyone I know.

0:42:38.760 --> 0:42:40.600
<v Speaker 1>And that is when you asked the question what was

0:42:40.640 --> 0:42:43.960
<v Speaker 1>your first concert? And she says, Frank Sinatra, it's pretty dope,

0:42:45.000 --> 0:42:46.520
<v Speaker 1>walk away, you're dode.

0:42:47.440 --> 0:42:49.640
<v Speaker 2>Actually, if I may quote one of our campers to

0:42:49.840 --> 0:42:53.320
<v Speaker 2>end this podcast, because it's relevant to that puzzle, that

0:42:53.680 --> 0:42:57.280
<v Speaker 2>was the activity we made. Again, please donate to Experience

0:42:57.360 --> 0:43:00.319
<v Speaker 2>Camps if you're able, reach out to me if you'd

0:43:00.360 --> 0:43:03.200
<v Speaker 2>like more information about the camp, or to the camp themselves,

0:43:03.600 --> 0:43:05.000
<v Speaker 2>or if you just want to talk about grief. I'd

0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:09.760
<v Speaker 2>love to hear everybody's stories. But we had a camper

0:43:09.880 --> 0:43:15.160
<v Speaker 2>who said, everybody in our bunk is important. You know,

0:43:15.280 --> 0:43:17.120
<v Speaker 2>some of us are more quiet, some of us are louder.

0:43:17.320 --> 0:43:19.520
<v Speaker 2>She said, I'm not calling anybody out. We're different, but

0:43:19.640 --> 0:43:23.880
<v Speaker 2>we are all an important piece of this puzzle, and

0:43:23.960 --> 0:43:27.719
<v Speaker 2>we're perfect as we are, and our counselors are the

0:43:27.800 --> 0:43:32.560
<v Speaker 2>glue that's holding this puzzle together. And she really sent

0:43:32.640 --> 0:43:35.640
<v Speaker 2>me with that one saying that they were all perfect

0:43:35.680 --> 0:43:37.799
<v Speaker 2>as they are. It was so beautiful because I thought

0:43:37.960 --> 0:43:40.560
<v Speaker 2>these kids are learning more about more about grief. They're

0:43:40.640 --> 0:43:45.080
<v Speaker 2>learning to love each other as flawed and as wonderful,

0:43:45.280 --> 0:43:47.360
<v Speaker 2>and to celebrate each other. It was amazing.

0:43:47.840 --> 0:43:51.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, I love you, I'm proud of you. What an

0:43:51.480 --> 0:43:54.839
<v Speaker 1>incredible week and you can go to experience camps dot

0:43:55.000 --> 0:43:58.520
<v Speaker 1>org learn more about it. This is National Grief Awareness Day,

0:43:58.680 --> 0:44:01.000
<v Speaker 1>So as we said while we were talking to Jesse,

0:44:01.680 --> 0:44:04.279
<v Speaker 1>take a moment, reach out to those people today who

0:44:04.360 --> 0:44:09.279
<v Speaker 1>have lost somebody and be proactive and just know that

0:44:09.320 --> 0:44:11.719
<v Speaker 1>we're thinking about you as well. We love you, you

0:44:11.880 --> 0:44:15.399
<v Speaker 1>are loved, and we will talk to you again very

0:44:15.480 --> 0:44:18.000
<v Speaker 1>soon because we have a lot more to talk about.

0:44:18.360 --> 0:44:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most

0:44:21.000 --> 0:44:23.480
<v Speaker 1>Dramatic pod ever and make sure to write us a

0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:26.120
<v Speaker 1>review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you

0:44:26.239 --> 0:44:26.640
<v Speaker 1>next time.