1 00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Hurdlers. Emily Abody here with a brand new hurdle Moment 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: for the smaller obstacles we're all facing on the regular 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,880 Speaker 1: each and every day. I am fresh off the plane 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: from London, and I've got to be honest, I am exhausted. 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: This is the first trip in a really long time 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 1: that has absolutely nothing to do with work and just 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: a lot of touristing and marathon spectating and a lot 8 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: of eating. And it was a blast. But I am 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: ready to be back in the New York groove. This 10 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: week for Hurdle Moment, I'm chatting about habits for happiness. 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: These are just some practices that I've adopted over the 12 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: past couple of years that help me keep a positive 13 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: outlook even on the days where I'm not exactly feeling 14 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: like my best self. If you have some strategies of 15 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: your own, I'd love to hear about them. You know 16 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: the drill at Hurdle podcasts on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, 17 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: and don't forget to keep those Hurdle Moment topic suggestions 18 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: come in my way. You can always reach me over email. 19 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: It's Emily at hurdle dot com US. And with that, 20 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: let's get this week's hurtle moment. Bad days happen something 21 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: as simple as tripping on your way to the bathroom 22 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: in the morning, or forgetting your coffee tumble on the 23 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,759 Speaker 1: kitchen counter when you're leaving to go to the office. 24 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: They can totally throw off your vibe for the rest 25 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 1: of the day. Over the last few years, though, I've 26 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: managed to home in on some ways to keep smiling 27 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: even when I feel frustrated or tired, or whatever the 28 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: case may be. Granted, these are strategies that work for me, 29 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 1: but hopefully they can work for you too, all right. 30 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: Habit Number one, be your authentic self. We say this 31 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: time and time again. Social media can really be toxic. 32 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: I mean, depending on what your rules are for keeping 33 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: your phone near or around your bedroom. Pretty much from 34 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: the second we wake up in the morning, we are 35 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: bombarded with images of what other people are doing, and 36 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: it becomes super easy to compare yourself to others people. 37 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 1: What I've come to realize is that both on social 38 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: media and off social media, the best thing that you 39 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: can do is be you be your authentic self. There's 40 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: no point in wasting your energy trying to be someone 41 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: or something that you're not. Now. Granted, I think there 42 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: are a couple of different exercises that I've done personally 43 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: over the last couple of years that have helped me 44 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:24,079 Speaker 1: figure out who I am, at least to an extent. Right. 45 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: I talked about this in the first Hurtle Moment, writing 46 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: down the things that bring me joy in my life, 47 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 1: or narrowing in on what my values are. It wasn't 48 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: something that I sat down one morning and I was like, 49 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 1: these are my values. But instead what I did was 50 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: I really thought about the things that are important to me, 51 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: and by writing these things down, by taking the time 52 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: to put in the work, I learned about me. Every 53 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: day we're learning something new about ourselves, but doing small 54 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,959 Speaker 1: exercises like this help me identify what's important to me 55 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: and give me a nudge to stay on that path. 56 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: When you're your most authentic self, you attract the people 57 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: that you're meant to attract, which actually brings me to 58 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,920 Speaker 1: my next important habit, surround yourself with good people. I 59 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: honestly think that this has been one of the biggest 60 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 1: lessons I've learned in my adult life, is that people 61 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: come and go. Everyone that comes into your life at 62 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: one point or another, they have a different role to 63 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: play and each of these people can teach you something, 64 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: and sometimes in relationships just feel like too much effort. 65 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,119 Speaker 1: It's okay to let them go. We are constantly evolving 66 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: and with that, so do our relationships. It takes a 67 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 1: really big person to let someone play a certain role 68 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: in their life when they might have hoped that they 69 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: would play a different one. But we hear it all 70 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: the time. Right, you are a combination of the five 71 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: people that you surround yourself with the most. That means 72 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: that every single day you have the opportunity to cultivate 73 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: your squad to make sure that the people that you're 74 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: spending the most time with actually are lifting you up, 75 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: that they're faucets not drains. If you're hanging out with 76 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: someone that might be a little bit toxic, ask yourself, 77 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: why what is it that you're looking for from that 78 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: relationship and is it really serving a purpose? Think of 79 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: it this way. If you're constantly surrounding yourself with someone 80 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: who eats a lot, then you're probably going to eat 81 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: a lot. If you are surrounding yourself with someone who's 82 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: a go getter, someone that has the same values that 83 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: you do. These are shared qualities. These are things that 84 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: are going to make you both better. The next habit, 85 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: get enough sleep. Plain and simple, happy people make sleep 86 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: a priority. No one that is living their best life 87 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: is running on three hours of sleep. And anyone who's 88 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: promoting that constant hustle, no rest situation, I don't know. 89 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: It just doesn't scream happy vibes to me. I truly 90 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 1: believe that your energy, attention, memory, all of these things 91 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: are drastically impacted when you're not getting enough shut eye. 92 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: And something I really swear by relating to this is 93 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: that I really try to get up around the same 94 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: time every day, and of course I wake up at 95 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 1: around five point forty five during the weekend. On the 96 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: weekend it's a little bit closer to seven. I find 97 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: that it's easier to wake up overall, no matter what 98 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: the day is, I'm less irritable, and of course I'm 99 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: just plain happier. My next haabit let go of the past. 100 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: Living in the past doesn't do us any favors period. 101 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 1: In fact, when you're so focused on what happened yesterday 102 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: or a month ago or a year ago, it just 103 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: gets in the way of you being in the present 104 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: and learning from that. There are definitely going to be 105 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: times that this is easier said than done. I've gone 106 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 1: through plenty of things where I feel absolutely incapable of 107 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 1: living in the moment, case in point, a breakup. In 108 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: that scenario, it's pretty status quo to have some sort 109 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 1: of morning period that involves your bed and too much 110 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 1: alcohol and not enough food and some quality time with 111 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 1: your friends. The truth is, though, is that everything in 112 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 1: life happens to teach us something, even the hard stuff 113 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: like those breakups that make you want to scream and 114 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 1: ugly cry, there's a purpose. And when you're able to 115 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: truly live in the moment, your moment, you're able to 116 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: get the most out of every single day. You know, 117 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,479 Speaker 1: more often than not, we take the bat and we 118 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: let it hold us back, and it just doesn't have 119 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: to be that way. Happy people are truly happy, not 120 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 1: because they don't fail, but because that they've learned to 121 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: take their failures in stride. In fact, I find that 122 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: the happiest people have come to understand that failures are 123 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: not something that need to be a setback, but instead 124 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 1: they can always be a lesson. All Right, the next 125 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: habit set aside time to be alone. I remember how 126 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: scared I was to live alone. I thought that I'd 127 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,919 Speaker 1: just be super lonely all the time, despite having all 128 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,359 Speaker 1: of this newfound freedom in a place to decorate and 129 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: call my own. What ended up happening is that my 130 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: apartment it became my sanctuary. I came to understand that 131 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 1: if I don't take time just to be alone with 132 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: me and my thoughts, then I don't have time to 133 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: decompress or process. Spending time alone gives you the opportunity 134 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 1: to evaluate how things are going. Of course, what you 135 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,600 Speaker 1: do during this time is completely up to you. Maybe 136 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: you journal, or maybe you don't. Maybe you watch crappy 137 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: reality television that requires absolutely no brain cells whatsoever. Regardless 138 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 1: of what you do, the alone time is your time. 139 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: There's a lot of science on this too, you know. 140 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: I was reading a Forbes article the other day that 141 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: pointed out that spending time solo actually increases empathy and productivity, 142 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: and it can also really help you get to know yourself. 143 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: Last year, I went on a trip to Italy alone, 144 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: and I was really scared. I remember getting in the 145 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: uber to the airport and without any thought, I just 146 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: felt tears well up in my eyes. I was so 147 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: frightened of just tackling the unknown without a right hand. 148 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: The reality was that the second I got to Italy, 149 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,559 Speaker 1: those tears were non existent. I felt confident and proud 150 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: of myself and excited for whatever was about to meet 151 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: me in this like truly special place. It taught me 152 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: that sometimes doing things on your own, by yourself can 153 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: be empowering. It taught me that I, emily, I'm good 154 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: just as I am, and I don't need someone else 155 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: to validate that. And the last habit work actively every 156 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: day to create your own happiness. You have the opportunity 157 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: every single day to do things that bring you joy. Period. 158 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: Of course, some days there might be stuff that you 159 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: don't want to do or you don't feel like doing, 160 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: like going into the office or running errands or whatever 161 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: the case may be. Every second you spend waiting for 162 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: happiness to find you is a second wasted. Of course, 163 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: some things do happen by chance. But I think it's 164 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: important to point out that I don't think the happiest 165 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 1: people in the world are always the wealthiest or the 166 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: best looking. I think that happy people are people that 167 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,680 Speaker 1: put in the effort to be happy, that are willing 168 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: to put in the work again. When you make yourself 169 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 1: a priority, the rest of the things just fall into place. 170 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: All right, Hurdlers, Tell me what are the things that 171 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: you are doing every single day that make you happy. 172 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: Make sure to tag me with your strategies on Instagram 173 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: and share this episode before the end of today. Do 174 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,079 Speaker 1: it right now with a friend. As always, I appreciate 175 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 1: you and I just want to let you know you 176 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 1: guys make me the ha happiest. Another hurdle moment conquered. 177 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.