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Speaker 1: Disabled wife and Harris over one hundred thousand dollars. But

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Speaker 1: I refuse to let her spend a dime on herself.

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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't need a wheelchair, doesn't need a I don't know,

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Speaker 2: pain meds, whatever, whatever the disability is, you don't need a.

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Speaker 1: Blind cane who deserves to spend money on themselves? Now

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Speaker 1: they all they have, especially if they inherit it. Hey, Sam,

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Speaker 1: I have a news flash for you. All that money

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Speaker 1: in your bank account, you can't use it. Can't use it,

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Speaker 1: You're not allowed. I won't. How dare you think just

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Speaker 1: because it's in your bank account then you deserve to

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Speaker 1: spend that money. Hey.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if we've learned anything from the global financial crisis,

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Speaker 2: it's that your money is not really your money exactly.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to FDIC. All right, So before the birth

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Speaker 1: of our daughter, my wife and I both worked full

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Speaker 1: time in low middle earning jobs, with my wife earning

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Speaker 1: a bit more than I did, but not by much. Okay,

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Speaker 1: sounds like it's a little bit of a competition, sound yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know. I Like he's like, oh, you didn't that

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Speaker 1: much more? A little bit more, But don't worry. I'm

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Speaker 1: still big man. Yeah, it was only a little bit more.

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Speaker 1: Her dick's just a little.

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Speaker 2: Bit longer than one inch, bitch, just the smedge my

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Speaker 2: centimeters here.

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Speaker 1: My wife returned to work out of necessity when our

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Speaker 1: daughter was three months old. Her mental health became pretty

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Speaker 1: bad and she has a minor disability that makes work

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Speaker 1: life a little hard, and she found it a bit

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Speaker 1: worse after having our daughter.

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Speaker 2: But we had to do what we had to do. Hey,

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Speaker 2: you know, gotta go to work. I also like, I

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Speaker 2: don't like how in these Reddit stories and never say

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Speaker 2: what the disability is. They always keep us guessing. I'm

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Speaker 2: always guessing, ADHD. I think it's funny.

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Speaker 1: I mean I guess I guess, which is funny because

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Speaker 1: they're already sharing like such insanely personal details. But they're like,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe we'll keep this one personal detail to ourselves,

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Speaker 1: Like out of all the personal details we have, we'll

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Speaker 1: keep this one too.

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Speaker 2: It's so I feel like it's it's important to like

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Speaker 2: for me to know that the context of the story,

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Speaker 2: you would think, right, but yeah, like are we like

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Speaker 2: are we talking like you know, like, is it wheelchair?

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Speaker 2: Is she blind? Is it a mental disability? Is it

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Speaker 2: a physical disability. Is it a financial disability?

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Speaker 1: I want to know. We we don't know. We don't know.

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Speaker 1: So my wife's grandma, who sort of raised her and

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Speaker 1: was her only family, passed away sadly when our daughter

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Speaker 1: was six months old.

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Speaker 2: I can't think of only family any any like. I

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Speaker 2: can't think of only family in the same terms anymore.

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Speaker 2: Because of only family.

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Speaker 1: I was about to say, like, when you say only family,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like it sounds like an offshoot. Oh god, yeah,

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Speaker 1: And you know what the sad part is, It would

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Speaker 1: be a big hit. It would incess for the wind

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Speaker 1: sas man. But my wife inherited everything she owned, so

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Speaker 1: oh from the aunt dying, Yes, from the grandma, big windfall. Dang, dang.

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Speaker 1: Now it was a big inheritance. Not enough for both

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Speaker 1: of us to immediately retire, but a lot. So we're

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Speaker 1: talking like multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars. Well, here's

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Speaker 1: what we're talking. We're talking enough for us to buy

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Speaker 1: a decent house outright, a new car each, and to

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Speaker 1: put some away for a comfortable retirement. Wait, house outright,

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Speaker 1: house outright in cash. That's two new cars and enough

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Speaker 1: to build towards a retirement.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Like I'm thinking like even like a cheap car, ish,

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Speaker 2: like a cheap new car, like thirty k each, so

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Speaker 2: sixty k right there, at least four hundred k for

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Speaker 2: the house. So we're talking like they probably and then

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Speaker 2: maybe one hundred thousand leftover.

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Speaker 1: We're talking like six hundred grand. We could be we

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Speaker 1: could be even almost breaching a million here for sure.

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Speaker 2: I mean like in California. Yeah, and Los Angeles go

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Speaker 2: for like a million, like minimums minimum, bare minimum.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So hey, that's a that's a pretty hefty inheritance. Pretty

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Speaker 2: big windfall, pretty big windfall. Shortly after a grandma died,

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Speaker 2: my wife stopped working and became a stay at home mom,

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Speaker 2: partially due to grief and struggles at her job, and

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Speaker 2: a bit because she would have always preferred to stay

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Speaker 2: at home with our daughter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she won the dead Grandma lottery. But come, come on,

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Speaker 1: why why not be what you want to be?

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Speaker 2: In that grandma just died and I inherited half a

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Speaker 2: million dollars, You're winner of dead granny.

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Speaker 1: Hey. You know, like you win some, you win some,

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Speaker 1: you lose some, as long as the outcome is income. Heyo,

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Speaker 1: win some, you lose somebody our new game show with

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Speaker 1: John with John and Sam, Sam and John to.

92
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Speaker 2: Kill so you inherit their wealth, like the Hunger Games

93
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Speaker 2: World version of game shows.

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Speaker 1: This is Billy, Billy, who do you want to murder

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Speaker 1: for your inheritance? I want to murder my mema.

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Speaker 2: Great work, Billy, Mema, come to the stag. Stick your

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Speaker 2: head in this guillotine.

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Speaker 1: Billy. Why were you couldn't give me my ram crash? Grandmama?

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Speaker 2: Shut up?

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Speaker 1: Mema? Take this zu but Sam?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the thing is, though, what's the thing? I would

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Speaker 2: rather not work.

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Speaker 1: And be a stay at home dad too, But I've

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Speaker 1: been sucking it up because we all need an income

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Speaker 1: to get by. Man, he is just putting the hard

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Speaker 1: work out there. He's sacrificing so much.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well maybe you should kill your grandma so you

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Speaker 2: can inherit half a million dollars.

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Speaker 1: It's simple math.

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Speaker 2: It's simple math, you know. Like I think he's not

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Speaker 2: realizing this sack like low key. It's like he's making

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Speaker 2: sacrifice at his end. But his partner had to sacrifice

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Speaker 2: her grandma. So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: What do you think? What do you think? I think?

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Speaker 1: Up into the plate now, my wife spoke to me

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Speaker 1: recently about how to budget so we can live off

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Speaker 1: of my income. She's been dipping into her savings to

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Speaker 1: pull her weight, but now that's all tied up in investments.

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Speaker 1: I said, if I'm the one who has to work

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Speaker 1: and I'd rather not, I don't think that I should

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Speaker 1: have to spend my money funding her hobbies and spending money. Wait.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so your girl just inherited half a billion dollars

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Speaker 2: which you're benefiting from from the house and the car

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Speaker 2: is the investments?

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Speaker 1: Now new car, like specifically just for him, and you're

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Speaker 1: saying I feel like it, I'll pull in your fair shareer.

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Speaker 1: You know that McDonald's.

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Speaker 2: Come on, no that gym membership, it out, get it

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Speaker 2: out of here. Okay, So, like I think I have

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Speaker 2: a sleep. I want to know what everyone else thinks.

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Speaker 2: Please put in the comments what you would do in

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Speaker 2: this situation. Do you think this guy is an a

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Speaker 2: hole from what we've heard so far? But quick solution

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Speaker 2: for the for the lady. Oh babe, babe, I'm so

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Speaker 2: sorry I was taking your money. Won't do that anymore.

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Speaker 2: But starting this month, I want I want a security

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Speaker 2: deposit and first month's.

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Speaker 1: Rent and we'll go ahead and sell your car. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: make things, you know, I'll rent it out to you.

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Speaker 2: I'll rend it. Yeah, rent out the car, rent out

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Speaker 2: the house. Gily discounts. Yeah, but dude, that's like what

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Speaker 2: I mean for a couple of grand maybe a month.

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Speaker 1: For yeah, for the house. Like and and she's probably

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Speaker 1: the value of the stuff. Like if he has like

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Speaker 1: half the house half some time, bro, hundreds of thousands

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Speaker 1: of dollars probably essentially that she's essentially given to him.

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Speaker 1: She charge of red and she can't get a fricking McDonald's.

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Speaker 2: Man, Like this sucks. I think he's insecure and I

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Speaker 2: hate him, and I don't know why she married him.

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Speaker 2: Take that open or I guess Yeah, yeah, Op is

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Speaker 2: the Op.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say Op's wife, Like, you know, find

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Speaker 2: you someone that treats you read.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, we'll buy you a McDonald's and a

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Speaker 1: gym membership if you give him half of your like

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Speaker 1: six figure Inherritans. Come on, at least you could do

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Speaker 1: at least Sam. You know, we talk about a lot

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Speaker 1: of really hard situations on this podcast. Oh baby, the hardest,

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Speaker 1: And you know, Sam, that's not the only thing that

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Speaker 1: we need hard in this world.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, back to the episode. Now, if she chooses

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Speaker 1: not to work, then she can buy clothes at the

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Speaker 1: charity shop instead of new ones no, and get a

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Speaker 1: friend to cut her hair for free, et cetera. Bro,

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Speaker 1: you won all she's sam. All she has to do

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Speaker 1: is wear a potato sack and cut her own hair

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Speaker 1: and eat crumbs in the corner. Then everything is fair.

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Speaker 2: Yo, I do understand why you want it? Is like

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Speaker 2: like I want my wife looking like a snack. I

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Speaker 2: want her working out, you know, I want her dress

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Speaker 2: to the nines. One would think I want her having

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Speaker 2: a fresh cut.

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Speaker 1: Like why why?

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Speaker 2: I have no idea why you would want your wife

202
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Speaker 2: to like literally live in the sewer. It sounds like

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Speaker 2: you want your wife to be a sewer.

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Speaker 1: Rat, That's what it sounds like.

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Speaker 2: Like this is ridiculous, bro. If you have your wife

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00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,359
Speaker 2: going to the gym, you get Dick gains bro literally

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Speaker 2: like you yeah, you think about how many squats she

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Speaker 2: can do on that thing.

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Speaker 1: Come on, now, she can get a job working a

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Speaker 1: night shift or start an online business or something to

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Speaker 1: fund her spending money. He just keeps going. You gotta

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Speaker 1: love it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, like I understand maybe, like you know, if

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Speaker 2: she feels unfulfilled or something, but if she's if she's

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Speaker 2: a full time parent, especially in the first years where

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Speaker 2: they're not in school, like it's like a lot of

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Speaker 2: a lot.

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Speaker 1: Of work, and she's yeah, and she's already contributed everything,

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Speaker 1: like she's basically it'll take him like almost a lifetime

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Speaker 1: to like give back and spend on her what he

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Speaker 1: hasn't inherited. Let's be equal, bro, Let's actually be equal.

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Speaker 1: Actually be equal. Now, I'm happy to pay for stuff

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Speaker 1: for our daughter, seeing as she's my responsibility. So I

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Speaker 1: don't think I'm being unreasonable here, Oh really, don't think

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Speaker 1: of no reason. So I'm so reasonable. I'm so logical.

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Speaker 1: I'm a reasonable guy. I'm just I'm just a reasonable

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Speaker 1: dude over here. Hey, just just making my reasons a bull.

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Speaker 1: I work thirty six hours a week and I already

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Speaker 1: pay for the bills and food.

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Speaker 2: That's low key, not a lot of hours. It's really

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Speaker 2: it's like that's like a little bit below normal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that you're I think like either right, you're

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Speaker 1: right under or right above full time right at that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like forty hours a week, I think normal standard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah so basically you got a part time job. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: o Brown, she said that that's not fair and if

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Speaker 1: I get to enjoy my gym membership and hobbies like

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Speaker 1: video games, but the difference is I'm paying for them

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Speaker 1: with my money, Like what what where did you think

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Speaker 1: you got this house? In this car?

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Speaker 2: Like I literally like the pea brain on this guy,

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Speaker 2: Like his brain is like that big brain is peeing

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Speaker 2: bro is amygdala or not? As a magdala, his prefuntal

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Speaker 2: cortex is not quite developed.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: They say that men don't develop their prefuntal cortex fully

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Speaker 2: until twenty five. So this guy is either twenty five

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Speaker 2: or maybe there's some kind of mental disability there as well.

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Speaker 1: My man just like doesn't have a forehead. Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: whole space is just like his. He starts like halfway but.

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Speaker 2: Only has a little Have you seen that there's like

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Speaker 2: a dude with like I don't know if you've seen

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Speaker 2: the early Internet pictures, but a dude with like no brain,

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Speaker 2: like like right here, it's just like a calend cave.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm saying something like that.

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Speaker 2: Crazy, it's a really funny picture because like it's a

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Speaker 2: mug shot, and god, you have like the straight on mugshot.

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Speaker 2: It looks like a normal dude. And then he turns

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Speaker 2: to the side. Oh my god, there's nothing there. I'll

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Speaker 2: let me pull up a pice. Well, you finished the story.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna pull a bin now.

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Speaker 1: My wife said her inheritance was worth more than if

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Speaker 1: she spent her whole life working, and without that, both

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Speaker 1: of us will be working anyway and having higher expenses

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Speaker 1: from paying a mortgage and car loans. So I should

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Speaker 1: count that as her contribution and share my money with her. Well,

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Speaker 1: well that's fucking stupid. That's not even like nuts.

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Speaker 2: I mean, all right, first, I want to know what

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Speaker 2: everyone else thinks, like please put it in the comments.

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Speaker 2: But I think this guy's being completely unreasonable. He's not

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Speaker 2: taking into account that his wife, with the inheritance she got,

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Speaker 2: invested in their life hundreds of thousands of dollars that

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Speaker 2: he's benefiting from, and so like maybe I honestly think

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Speaker 2: like a solution might be to have her charge him rent.

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Speaker 2: So he feels like they're like, like if you want

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Speaker 2: to keep the finances separate or something, or he's like

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Speaker 2: feeling insecurity about that, like all right, she owned this

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Speaker 2: charge him rent. You know, if you're really trying to

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Speaker 2: split hairs about finances.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think the best thing to split is them. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: this guy sounds like like why would she continue to

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Speaker 1: say the kid? The kid makes it more complicated? It does,

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Speaker 1: it does, but yeah, this is just such a crazy

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Speaker 1: thing to say.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to hear her side of the story,

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Speaker 2: you know, I want her to write a.

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Speaker 1: Bus yes, because it's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Like what is crazy usually is like when people write

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Speaker 2: these Reddit stories, they're writing from their perspective, yes, right,

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Speaker 2: and so they're already biased and selecting information. Yes, And

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Speaker 2: when someone looks so obviously like an asshole from their

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Speaker 2: own point of view, cherry's picking, cherry picking the information

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Speaker 2: that that day wanted the story that makes it looks best.

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Speaker 1: Like this guy's probably even shittier. Yes, Yeah, that's what

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Speaker 1: baffles me. He's probably like, Babe, you can never spend

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Speaker 1: your own money on yourself. How dare you get this

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Speaker 1: McDonald's come an asshole? Also? Uh uh?

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Speaker 2: I think that's a wrap. But I do want to

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Speaker 2: show you this picture of the smugshot.

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Speaker 1: I saw it a little bit. Okay, so you got

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Speaker 1: so you got?

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Speaker 2: Oh like this is just kind of like it's kind

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Speaker 2: of like a normal dude, right, Oh my god, my

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Speaker 2: poor guy. I feel like it's like like a lobotomy

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Speaker 2: or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. But yeah, anyway, than well on.

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Speaker 2: That note, Uh, my roommate left out rotting food all summer,

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Speaker 2: trying to destroy his family heirloom or ruin his beautiful garden. Okayop,

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Speaker 2: this is Okayop, I'm saying with honor, and we tell

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Speaker 2: the it's the reas on the internet. John, Yes, uh,

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Speaker 2: you got a green thumb up your bum.

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Speaker 1: Uh. I wish everything I touch kind of dies, to be.

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Speaker 2: Honest, don't touch me, man, I'll get those got those

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Speaker 2: grubby paws out of my filthy drought.

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Speaker 1: Trying to plant that scene the only.

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Speaker 2: John's plant, that's right, and his lady just getting just kiddy.

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Speaker 2: He pulls out.

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Speaker 1: So keeping a g rted this morning, gentleman. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: not much of a not much of a.

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Speaker 2: Non to summarize, well, I got a story about someone

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Speaker 2: who is anti planting.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we'll see.

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Speaker 2: Okay, my roommate left out rotting food all summer, trying

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Speaker 2: to destroy his family heirloom or ruin his beautiful garden.

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Speaker 1: Why not both destroy all of his possessions, destroy himself

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Speaker 1: and his self esteem. Yeah, you know thing, that's another

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Speaker 1: thing we could take out.

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Speaker 2: In college, leasa was up on our apartment I shared

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Speaker 2: with another student. I had a vacation the second week

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Speaker 2: before move out, and he was going on vacation and

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Speaker 2: moving out before I got back from vacation.

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Speaker 1: A lot of vacations. It's a little lot of muications.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's taking vacations, no one's there. Goodness.

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Speaker 2: So we planned and agreed to what each of us

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Speaker 2: was responsible for cleaning before I left on my vaca. Okay, vaka, okay, okay, okay. However,

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Speaker 2: when I got home and he was already gone, I

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Speaker 2: saw he had used my dishes to cook and to eat.

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Speaker 2: Excuse me, but he did not even wash them. He

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Speaker 2: cleaned his part of the apartment and took his own dishes,

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Speaker 2: but he left my gross mess of rotting food on

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Speaker 2: my dishes, disgusting. No note, no apology, no nothing, just

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Speaker 2: a little fu on his way out the door. The

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Speaker 2: incredible thing was he didn't even finish moving his own stuff,

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Speaker 2: but we had to be out before he would return

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Speaker 2: from his vacation. It was pretty incredible because he left

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Speaker 2: the two things most valuable to him. One was an

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Speaker 2: heirloom painting from his grandma, and the other was a

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Speaker 2: collection of herbs he'd been growing for years.

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Speaker 1: Herbs, herbs, herbs.

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Speaker 2: We talk in plaze for twenty herbs, or we talk

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Speaker 2: in oregano baby. Looking at all the containers that comprise

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Speaker 2: his garden, I realized I had a few choices. Here

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Speaker 2: are those choices, in order of least work to the

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Speaker 2: most work.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we need like a game show theme

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Speaker 1: song on the side.

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Speaker 2: On this season of I Am a Dick roommates. What

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Speaker 2: should I destroy of my roommate's possessions?

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Speaker 1: Hey? Kill them? It is hey, I will murdery dollars

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Speaker 1: all right.

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Speaker 2: Number one, take them to the next door neighbor who

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Speaker 2: we were friends with, for that friend to keep for

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Speaker 2: a week. Make multiple trips down the hall, down the stairs,

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Speaker 2: past the parking area, past the next building, and then

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Speaker 2: toss them one by one in a commercial garbage bin. Okay,

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Speaker 2: make a special moving trip or two, just for those herbs,

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Speaker 2: to carefully transport them to my new place and then

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Speaker 2: load them and care for them for another week until

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Speaker 2: he got back.

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Speaker 1: I'm an asshole, So number three was out of the question.

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Speaker 1: We're just we're just getting straight to the point.

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Speaker 2: Number two was a lot more work over number one.

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Speaker 2: But this is petty revenge, so I'm gonna do. Number

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Speaker 2: two is when he returned and heard from mutual friends

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Speaker 2: that I dumped his prize garden. He apparently got quite upset.

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Speaker 1: Oopsie, oopops did I do that?

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Speaker 2: I didn't give a flying frick. I wasn't afraid of

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Speaker 2: him to begin with, and I still had his grandma's painting,

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Speaker 2: so if he did anything, that painting is being burned

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Speaker 2: to the ground.

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Speaker 1: Or use it as a shield. Yeah, if you want

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Speaker 1: to hit me, you gotta get your grandma.

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Speaker 2: Anyways, he comes over and starts yelling at me about

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Speaker 2: how much his our garden is where blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: I said, that's his problem, now, ooh.

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Speaker 1: He should have cleaned up his shit.

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Speaker 2: He should have cleaned up my dishes after using them,

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Speaker 2: and should have not left food out in the summer

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Speaker 2: when he knew I wouldn't return for a few days.

390
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 2: He was a little embarrassed when our friends looked at him, like, Bro,

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Speaker 2: what a dick move, leaving your dishes out. You deserve

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Speaker 2: your whole herb garden being destroyed, your grandma's family heirloom

393
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:23,120
Speaker 2: being mutilated, which is a bit extreme. Be a little extreme. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: It's still mad, but more whining than yelling. I told

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Speaker 2: him to wait a moment. I went back to the

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Speaker 2: room and brought out his grandma's painting. Everyone knew about

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Speaker 2: the painting, so they were shocked that one he pulled

398
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 2: a dick move, and two left his whole garden, and

399
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Speaker 2: three left that painting giving him the painting. I told

400
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Speaker 2: him he's lucky I save the painting and the loss

401
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: of her and the loss of herbs was a good

402
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Speaker 2: lesson for him. He was ticked off again, triple loopsie.

403
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Speaker 2: We went to the same college in a small towns

404
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 2: So although I never hung out with him again, I

405
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 2: heard about him from friends every now and then.

406
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Speaker 1: For the next two years.

407
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Speaker 2: I heard every once in a while that he was

408
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 2: still pissed up off because it cost him hundreds of

409
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Speaker 2: dollars and many months to replace that garden.

410
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Speaker 1: Well, you know, I think his whole friend group was

411
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Speaker 1: a little extreme.

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Speaker 2: Dude, I mean like he was only there, Like he

413
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Speaker 2: was only gone a few more days.

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Speaker 1: What would what would you have done if you were

415
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Speaker 1: in that scenario. I would have moved the herbs. Yeah,

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00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,119
Speaker 1: he could have. He could have at least like just

417
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: been like, hey, your stuff is here, and like yeah,

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Speaker 1: what do you want me to do with Yeah, just

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Speaker 1: I would I move the herbs. Yeah, it's not that

420
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Speaker 1: big of a deal.