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Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. My

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Speaker 1: guest today is someone that is using her platform to

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Speaker 1: have insightful conversations in the wellness space, and she is

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Speaker 1: not shying away from opening up about the things that

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Speaker 1: she's overcome. She's the author of one hundred Ways to

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Speaker 1: Change Your Life and is the host of the Liz

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Speaker 1: Moody podcast that I was recently a guest on. So

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Speaker 1: please welcome Liz Moody to the I Choose Meat podcast. Hi, Liz,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to my podcasts. For those of you that don't

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Speaker 1: know and are listening, I was recently on Liz's podcast,

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Speaker 1: the Liz Moody Podcast, and we had such a good

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Speaker 1: time and a great conversation about getting older, finding ourselves, anxiety,

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Speaker 1: and so much more. It was a really good one,

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Speaker 1: So you guys definitely go to check that out Liz

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Speaker 1: Moody Podcast. Did you have fun when I was on

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Speaker 1: your podcast?

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Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh, ed so much fun.

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Speaker 3: You are so open and so honest and so vulnerable

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Speaker 3: and so helpful. I just feel like you're so adept

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Speaker 3: at taking stories from your life and turning it into

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Speaker 3: wisdom to share with other people.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad. Oh my gosh. Let's see for our

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Speaker 1: listeners who might not be familiar, I want to go

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Speaker 1: back to your early years. Want to start there, if

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Speaker 1: that's okay. In your book One Hundred Ways to Change

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Speaker 1: Your Life, you talk about that when you were I

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Speaker 1: think two years old, your mother was in a serious

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Speaker 1: accident and that had sort of this deep ripple effect

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Speaker 1: on your life, and your parents ended up getting divorced,

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Speaker 1: and you said that that accident made you aware that

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Speaker 1: life is precious and unguaranteed. What was it like having

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Speaker 1: that kind of insight at such a young age.

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Speaker 3: It's so interesting because I didn't really have the insight

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Speaker 3: at that age.

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Speaker 2: Of course I was two years old, right.

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Speaker 3: But one day my mother was there, and then the

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Speaker 3: next day she was gone, and she was gone for

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Speaker 3: months and months and months that she spent in a

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Speaker 3: coma in the hospital, and at one point they were

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Speaker 3: going to transfer her to the kind of place where

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Speaker 3: they're like, you're never going to wake up from this,

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Speaker 3: and my dad had to fight to trying to keep

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Speaker 3: her alive and then she went to a rehab facility,

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Speaker 3: and the next time I saw her, she was so

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Speaker 3: different than the person I'd seen last. And I'm only

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Speaker 3: even in the last decade or so of my life

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Speaker 3: unpacking what that has done to my attachment style into

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Speaker 3: how I relate to the world at large. But I

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Speaker 3: do remember from my very earliest years having the sense

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Speaker 3: that the world was unsafe, that these one in a

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Speaker 3: million things that you don't believe will happen to you

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Speaker 3: absolutely can and do happen to you, and happened to

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Speaker 3: my mother, And so I put up those protective barriers

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Speaker 3: and I turned on all of my alarm switches very very.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that you developed like a fear of abandonment,

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Speaker 1: because I know when my dad got sick and I

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Speaker 1: was young, I was like twelve, and he got really sick,

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Speaker 1: and like you just said, he kind of came back

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Speaker 1: from that a different person, and at that point, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I lost something so vital to my life.

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Speaker 1: Did you feel that way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And my relationship with my parents, both of them,

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Speaker 3: was so impacted by that. They got divorced as a

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Speaker 3: result of this accident, And it really was that one

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Speaker 3: pebble that's thrown into the lake, that has this ripple

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Speaker 3: effect that spreads out over your entire life. And I

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Speaker 3: definitely think I still to this day have fears of abandonment,

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Speaker 3: of letting people love me completely, of trusting that people

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Speaker 3: will be there, whether it's by their own volition or

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Speaker 3: something completely out of their control.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it really does impact you for the rest of

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Speaker 1: your life.

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Speaker 2: It really does.

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Speaker 3: And we're learning so much about attachment styles. I actually

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Speaker 3: had doctor Judy ho in my podcast, and she is

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Speaker 3: a psychologist who specializes in attachment styles. And I went

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Speaker 3: into the podcast thinking I was anxiously attached, which I

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Speaker 3: think a lot of people who struggle with anxiety or like,

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Speaker 3: oh I'm anxious, I must be anxiously attached. And the

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Speaker 3: episode is the process of me realizing I'm actually avoidantly attached,

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Speaker 3: which was really interesting for me, and I think a

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Speaker 3: lot of that is rooted in that accident. And the

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Speaker 3: thing that resonated with me the most around that is

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Speaker 3: when you're stressed or sad or having these larger feelings,

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Speaker 3: instead of reaching out to other people, you don't trust

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Speaker 3: that they'll be there for you in those moments, so

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Speaker 3: you retreat into yourself. And whenever I'm feeling stressed, overwhelmed, depressed,

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Speaker 3: and my friends are all texting me and they're like, Liz,

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Speaker 3: are you okay? I love you, I want to be

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Speaker 3: there for you, And I don't answer the text. I

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Speaker 3: retreat into myself. And I always wondered why that was

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Speaker 3: my reaction, Why that was my response.

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Speaker 1: I think I might be avoidantly attached.

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Speaker 2: You should have just taught me something.

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Speaker 3: You'll have the same episode arc is Mine where you're like,

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Speaker 3: you just.

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Speaker 1: Basically described, yeah, what growing up with that kind of

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Speaker 1: when you have that break as a young girl and

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Speaker 1: your mom and dad are left in some capacity or

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Speaker 1: that's how you saw it one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: And I also just internalized so young that the world

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Speaker 3: wasn't safe. So a lot of my process of rebuilding

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Speaker 3: my sense of resilience and my sense of self has

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Speaker 3: been around making myself feel safe in myself, making myself

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Speaker 3: feel like I can take care of myself and I'll

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Speaker 3: be okay no matter what happens. And I really had

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Speaker 3: to actively work to build that perspective.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because we don't know that we can turn

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Speaker 1: to ourselves.

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Speaker 2: No, we don't. It's crazy.

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Speaker 3: I have this tip in my book that's do a

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Speaker 3: resilience practice.

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Speaker 2: Essentially.

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Speaker 3: We've all heard about gratitude practices. There's so much incredible

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Speaker 3: researchund it, but I think a resilience practice is really cool,

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Speaker 3: which is just reminding yourself of all of the times

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Speaker 3: in the past that you've been resilient, that you've been

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Speaker 3: faced with hard things and you've gotten through it and

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Speaker 3: maybe even gotten through it better.

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Speaker 2: I think sometimes when these.

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Speaker 3: Overwhelming things pop up, were like, oh my gosh, how

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Speaker 3: am I going to survive this? And it's like, well,

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Speaker 3: you've survived before, not one time, not ten times, but

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Speaker 3: hundreds of times before, and that has made you the

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Speaker 3: person that you are today, and sometimes seen it all

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Speaker 3: written out in a list is a really stark reminder

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 1: I love what your message is. I love that you

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Speaker 1: are interested in helping people who have, you know, similar

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Speaker 1: issues that you have. I think that you know you're

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Speaker 1: younger than me, and I did not have any of

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Speaker 1: this figured out when I was your age, so it's

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Speaker 1: so just refreshing and it lights something for me that

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Speaker 1: you are able to glean these messages and these these

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Speaker 1: lessons out of life and share them with other people.

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Speaker 1: So I just think that what you're doing is awesome.

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Speaker 1: You struggle with anxiety and panic attacks and agoraphobia, and

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Speaker 1: for those of that don't know, a goorphobia involves a

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Speaker 1: fear of avoiding places or situations that might cause you

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Speaker 1: to panic or feel like you're trapped or helpless or embarrassed,

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Speaker 1: and you know you just don't go out. I have

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Speaker 1: had my own agoraphobia issues in the years. But when

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Speaker 1: you're in that state of mind, what does it feel

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Speaker 1: like for you? Oh?

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Speaker 3: I felt like at one point, So I went through

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Speaker 3: a multi month period where I was a gorophobic and

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Speaker 3: I would essentially have panic attacks whenever I left the house,

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Speaker 3: and I felt so many different ways. I felt like

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Speaker 3: I could justify my situation. I remember laying there with

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Speaker 3: my computer propped up next to me in bed and

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Speaker 3: being like, well, I have YouTube, I can send emails

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Speaker 3: to people like this could be a nice life, and

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Speaker 3: kind of almost validated that I didn't ever need to

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Speaker 3: go outside again.

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Speaker 2: I also felt horrifically depressed.

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Speaker 3: Also, at times I felt so uncomfortable inside of my

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Speaker 3: skin because of my anxiety that I wasn't sure that

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Speaker 3: I wanted to survive longer.

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Speaker 2: Because that discomfort.

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Speaker 3: The idea of facing that discomfort for the rest of

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Speaker 3: my life felt completely untenable. So it was a real

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Speaker 3: range of things. And it's one of the reasons that

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Speaker 3: I'm so passionate about sharing these things. I think people

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Speaker 3: and I'm sure this happens to you to an even

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Speaker 3: more extreme degree. But people see my books, they see

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Speaker 3: me doing glamorous things because the podcast, they see me

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Speaker 3: on TV and they're.

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Speaker 2: Like, Wow, that's so cool.

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Speaker 3: And I want to be like, this is not where

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Speaker 3: I started. I started unable to get out of bed.

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Speaker 3: And when I was unable to get out of bed,

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Speaker 3: I would look up interviews of celebrities with anxiety and

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, look, if Amanda Seifried can go on

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Speaker 3: Jay Leno and have a panic attack, then I must

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Speaker 3: be able to go to the grocery store someday. So

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Speaker 3: if I can be that story for even one person

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Speaker 3: who is listening to this or who engages with my

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Speaker 3: work in anyway, it will feel worth it.

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Speaker 1: That's beautiful. I want to ask you, what do you

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Speaker 1: think was the tipping point for you? Like, how did

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Speaker 1: you get to not wanting to leave your house and

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Speaker 1: having those feelings?

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Speaker 3: There was a number of different factors. I had a

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Speaker 3: seizure when I was traveling in Brazil by myself, and

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Speaker 3: I think I had a lot of PTSD about what

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Speaker 3: was happening in my body after that. But it was

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Speaker 3: during my party phase of life. I was doing a

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Speaker 3: lot of drugs, I was traveling around a lot, and

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Speaker 3: I didn't attribute it to that. So I would sit down,

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Speaker 3: I remember on the curb a lot, and think I

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Speaker 3: was preventing myself from having a seizure. When I felt

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Speaker 3: kind of weird and spinning in my head, I would

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Speaker 3: sit down and focus really hard and be like, I'm

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Speaker 3: preventing my seizure, And really I was having panic attacks

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Speaker 3: and I was preventing panic attacks, and I didn't make

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Speaker 3: that association for a.

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Speaker 2: Really, really really long time.

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Speaker 3: The seizure was drug induced and anorexia induced. And I

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Speaker 3: also didn't want to admit myself that I was doing

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Speaker 3: enough drugs or had enough of an eating disorder to

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Speaker 3: cause that type of thing. So I had a general

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Speaker 3: sense of lack of safety in my body that I

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Speaker 3: wasn't dealing with in any way, that I was just

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Speaker 3: pushing away, pushing away, pushing away. And then my now

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Speaker 3: husband and I moved to England, he got into a

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Speaker 3: graduate school program, and I was so excited about it.

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Speaker 2: I considered myself a world traveler.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going to be sophisticated and glamorous

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Speaker 3: in living this European life. And I really really struggled

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Speaker 3: almost from.

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Speaker 2: The get go. I had a really hard time.

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Speaker 3: Building community, and my world just became so isolated, and

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Speaker 3: it really underscores the importance of community in our life.

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Speaker 3: Not having that community was the tipping point for me

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Speaker 3: where my world just got smaller and smaller and smaller,

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Speaker 3: and then the outside world got scarier and scarier and scarier.

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Speaker 3: And now there's incredible research to back that up. The

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Speaker 3: world's longest study on health and human happiness. It came

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Speaker 3: out of Harvard from doctor Robert Waldinger. He runs the

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Speaker 3: School of a Dealt Development, and it found that the

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Speaker 3: single greatest predictor of longevity and satisfaction and happiness in

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Speaker 3: our lives is the strength of our relationships, the single greatest,

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Speaker 3: like greater than any other factor. So that's what I

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Speaker 3: was suffering from. I was suffering from not having strong relationships,

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Speaker 3: and it showed up in my life in a.

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Speaker 1: Real way because at that time, you just had that

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Speaker 1: relationship with your now husband.

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Speaker 3: With my now husband, and that was beautiful and wonderful.

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Speaker 3: But he was off at grad school all day. London

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Speaker 3: also is very spread out as a city, so he'd

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Speaker 3: go to grad school almost an hour away, and he'd

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Speaker 3: invite me to come hang out with his grad school friends,

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Speaker 3: but it was over an hour.

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Speaker 2: Away on the tube.

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Speaker 3: And I regret a lot of my choices at the time. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I wish I had understood the importance of community more

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Speaker 3: and spent more time prioritizing that.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't know. I didn't know how huge that was.

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Speaker 1: And how are you feeling today with it all? Like

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Speaker 1: you seem like a completely different person, but maybe you

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Speaker 1: still struggle internally. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I am a completely different person, and I'm so grateful

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Speaker 3: for that. I genuinely cannot overstate that I had panic

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Speaker 3: attacks when I left the house. I tried to go

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Speaker 3: grocery shopping once and I abandoned my basket at the

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Speaker 3: grocery store because I could not handle waiting in the

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Speaker 3: checkout line. And now I fly all over the country.

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Speaker 3: I get to host an incredible podcast, I get to

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Speaker 3: write incredible books. I go on live TV, which I

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Speaker 3: still find incredibly nerve wracking. That's like a different type

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Speaker 3: of anxiety right there. But I still do struggle with anxiety.

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Speaker 3: I just now have a very robust toolkit, and I

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Speaker 3: also know how to take care of myself, so when

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Speaker 3: I feel myself tending in a direction, I will be

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Speaker 3: able to pull myself back and I know what helps

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Speaker 3: at this point, and I know how to recognize when

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Speaker 3: things are heading that way.

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Speaker 1: That's good, you've learned what the triggers are. Yes, yep, yeah.

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Speaker 3: But I also think it's important to say, and I

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Speaker 3: think you said this when you're on my podcast as well,

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Speaker 3: that it's not like a oh my gosh, I'm better thing,

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Speaker 3: you know. And I don't want to promise like, oh,

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Speaker 3: your anxiety just will all go in and you won't

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Speaker 3: ever have to think about it again.

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Speaker 2: It's a ongoing.

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Speaker 3: Front of mind thing for me. I have a tip

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Speaker 3: in my book that's called find Your Why, and the

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Speaker 3: idea is that in the health and wellness world, we're

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Speaker 3: often stacking our routines and spending all this money and

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Speaker 3: we don't even know the reason why we're doing that.

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Speaker 3: We're just doing it because some influencer told us to

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Speaker 3: do it, or we read about it in some book,

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Speaker 3: or we sat on TV or something like that. And

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Speaker 3: we always need a reason behind the habits that we're

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Speaker 3: engaging with the things that we're purchasing, so that we

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Speaker 3: don't just have this huge, long list of to dos

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Speaker 3: and we're so overwhelmed and we're not actually engaging in wellness,

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Speaker 3: which is supposed to make our life better. And my

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Speaker 3: why to this day is my mental health. It's my

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Speaker 3: number one why. So if I'm trying a new supplement,

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Speaker 3: if I'm spending my time on something, usually it is

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Speaker 3: around my mental health. And you can see that in

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Speaker 3: the things that I prioritize every single day. For example, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so I work out every single morning, and I have

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Speaker 3: that set in my calendar. I don't have meetings that

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Speaker 3: get in the way of it. I preserve that time

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Speaker 3: because I know that my anxiety on a day that

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Speaker 3: I don't move my body in the morning is so

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Speaker 3: much higher than.

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Speaker 2: My anxiety on a day where I do move my

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Speaker 2: body in the morning.

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Speaker 3: And I've figured that out for myself and now I'm

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Speaker 3: deeply protective of that time.

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Speaker 1: That's such a good thing. What about when you're traveling though, Like,

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Speaker 1: it's when I'm traveling like this last month, I was

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Speaker 1: home maybe five days out of the whole month, and

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Speaker 1: I was so hard for me to stay on my

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Speaker 1: routine of wellness and taking good care of myself and

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Speaker 1: working out in the mornings and doing all the things.

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Speaker 1: Are you able to manage it when you're traveling so much?

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Speaker 3: I have a travel wellness routine and then I have

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Speaker 3: a home.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, you do.

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Speaker 1: I love.

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Speaker 3: So they differ from each other, but it also takes

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Speaker 3: the decision fatigue out of it because I'm not like, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm traveling, what am I going to do? I'm like, no,

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Speaker 3: I'll just go to my travel wellness routine.

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Speaker 1: Wait, what's what's your travel well I need to know.

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Speaker 3: So I have online workouts that I love to do.

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Speaker 3: I like Megan Roup the sculpt Society. She has these

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Speaker 3: workouts that are like fifteen to thirty minutes. You can

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Speaker 3: choose and you can do them in a hotel room

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Speaker 3: and you get a pretty good workout in or in

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Speaker 3: an airbnb. Sometimes I'll go to the hotel gym if

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Speaker 3: it has a nice gym, But I do that first

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Speaker 3: thing in the morning when I wake up. I also

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Speaker 3: always travel with purely Elizabeth oatmeal or what is it

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Speaker 3: called seven spoons or something like that. They have a

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Speaker 3: protein oatmeal. I'll travel with some sort of oatmeal, and

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Speaker 3: I'll travel with a protein powder that I'll mix into

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Speaker 3: that oatmeal so that I know that every single morning

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Speaker 3: I'm getting a fiber and protein rich breakfast, so that

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Speaker 3: my blood sugar is more likely to stay stable throughout

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Speaker 3: the day. That's something else that I've identified as a

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Speaker 3: really big anxiety trigger for me.

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Speaker 2: So if I'm starting the day with a.

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Speaker 3: Croissant, I will never feel as good mentally for the

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Speaker 3: rest of day the croissants for later in the day.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I've had my.

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Speaker 1: Protein bad advice. This is so good. I travel also

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Speaker 1: with my protein items, all my powder, and I always

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Speaker 1: get stopped at the chef airport.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, but.

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Speaker 3: It's dry and you can bring it on. I've never

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Speaker 3: gotten it taken away from me. They'll always just kind

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Speaker 3: of like take it out and look at it.

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Speaker 2: So I'll do that.

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Speaker 3: I also, so we have a cold plunge in our house.

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Speaker 3: That was our big pandemic purchase that I love so much.

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Speaker 3: I actually went away on a trip and my husband

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Speaker 3: had bought it when I got home, and it's like, it's.

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Speaker 2: Like, Wow, this is a big purchase. But I love it.

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Speaker 2: I love it so much.

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Speaker 3: And cold plunging is really helpful for balancing dopamine levels.

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Speaker 3: But in my travel routine, I'll just take a cold shower,

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Speaker 3: which is what I did before I had the cold plunge,

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Speaker 3: and I'll end my shower on a minute or two

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Speaker 3: of cold, and that's really helpful for again keeping those

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Speaker 3: dopamine levels balanced. I always travel with an eyemass so

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Speaker 3: that I can get good sleep. There's really good research

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Speaker 3: around how any light reaching your eyes impacts your quality

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Speaker 3: of your sleep. Even if you're getting the same quantity

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Speaker 3: of sleep. Even if you're like, oh I've slept for

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Speaker 3: eight hours, you haven't gotten as good of sleep if

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Speaker 3: light is reaching your eyes.

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Speaker 2: I do that those are like the big, big ones.

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Speaker 3: I travel with a silk pillowcase, which that's good, that's great,

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Speaker 3: but I like it and I like feeling like my

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Speaker 3: head isn't touching the hotel sheets kind of it gives

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Speaker 3: you that that sense of home a little bit and

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Speaker 3: a little bit less of the grossness of thinking about

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Speaker 3: how many heads have been on those sheets?

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Speaker 1: Totally. Yeah, When anxiety or panic attacks are something that

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Speaker 1: you are feeling and your partner hasn't experienced it, how

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Speaker 1: do you suggest people make their partners aware and like,

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Speaker 1: what should a partner be doing to support someone who

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Speaker 1: is struggling with anxiety.

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Speaker 3: It's going to be so different person to person. So

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Speaker 3: I like to do an inventory in my own brain

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Speaker 3: and the times that I've had panic attacks and the

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Speaker 3: times that I felt the most anxious. What have people

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Speaker 3: done that's the most helpful? And that can range from

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Speaker 3: left me completely alone and didn't try to make a

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Speaker 3: conversation with me at all, which is still what I

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Speaker 3: need my husband to do. On planes, I'm a very

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Speaker 3: anxious flyer and he'll like be sitting next to me

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Speaker 3: trying to make jokey comments, and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: I'm holding the plane aloft with my mind.

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Speaker 3: I need you to not mess with my concentration in

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Speaker 3: this moment. But sometimes it can be holding you. Sometimes

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Speaker 3: it can be putting ice in your hands or doing

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Speaker 3: one of those little tools or techniques. Sometimes it can

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Speaker 3: be guiding you through a breathing exercise. I think reflecting

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Speaker 3: on what were the moments that were most helpful that

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Speaker 3: other people did, and then almost writing those down so

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Speaker 3: you can have that as a list to give to

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Speaker 3: somebody that that loves you and that wants to be

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Speaker 3: there for you and experiment with different things. For me,

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Speaker 3: it's either usually be left alone because I don't like

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Speaker 3: being around other people when I feel really anxious, back

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Speaker 3: to the avoidantly attached thing that I just discovered about myself,

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Speaker 3: or I guess on the opposite side, it's really holding

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Speaker 3: me and giving me that physical contact or the other

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Speaker 3: thing that my husband can do and I've asked him

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Speaker 3: to do this at this point, is if I'm in

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Speaker 3: sort of a spiral, if he can get me to

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Speaker 3: take a walk or offer to take a walk with me,

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Speaker 3: getting outside, changing what my vision is taking in literally

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Speaker 3: changing my perspective is really really helpful.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. That's good. Getting some fresh air, I'm sure

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Speaker 1: helps too.

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Speaker 3: What helps you? What do you ask people that love

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Speaker 3: you in your life to do?

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Speaker 1: I well, I don't ask my girls really of much.

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Speaker 1: They they kind of just know when I'm having anxiety

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Speaker 1: or when I'm stressed, and they kind of take care

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Speaker 1: of me a little bit more than a little bit

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Speaker 1: of role reversal. But my husband, I like him to

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Speaker 1: hold my hand and hug me, like just hold me.

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Speaker 1: You know that what you said, like hug me. So

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Speaker 1: it really is like there's something about when my husband

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Speaker 1: touches me. It just calms me down. And I am

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Speaker 1: so thankful for that that it released me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's same with my husband, and I love

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Speaker 3: it so much. But also if you're listening and you

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Speaker 3: don't have a partner, get a lot of those benefits

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Speaker 3: with a pet. I think pets are very underutilized. Oxytocin

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Speaker 3: sources a pet.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I do. I have a picture of right here.

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Speaker 1: What's her name? This is a kitty I'm looking at.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's a cat.

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Speaker 1: I have.

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Speaker 3: My friends got me this when my book came out.

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Speaker 3: It's my cat reading my book, so you know that

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Speaker 3: she's very smart. Her name is Bella, and which is

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Speaker 3: the most basic name. And there was a period my

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Speaker 3: husband kind of looks like Robert Pattinson and so there

431
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Speaker 3: was a period during the Twilight Heyday where people thought

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Speaker 3: I'd name my cat Bella. And I was dating a

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Speaker 3: guy who and I haven't seen the movies, but I

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Speaker 3: was people thought I was really into it.

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Speaker 1: For A that's so funny that you bring up twilight.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. When you're working and you're in your studio,

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Speaker 1: do your lights give you anxiety? Because I'm really affected

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Speaker 1: by LED lights.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting.

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Speaker 3: They don't, And I think that's because of what I

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Speaker 3: am doing in my studio. I think if I was

442
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 3: doing anything else than I was around these lights, I

443
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 3: might feel more sensitive because I am in general sensitive

444
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 3: to lights and noises. One of my top anxiety tips

445
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 3: is to get noise canceling headphones, particularly the Bose noise

446
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 3: canceling headphones. That will completely change your experience of flying,

447
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,400
Speaker 3: walking down busy streets. It just lowers your cortisol level

448
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 3: against all of those inputs. But for me, when I'm

449
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 3: in my studio, I feel so in flow and in purpose.

450
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 3: My podcast is my favorite thing that I do. Getting

451
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 3: to have deep, meaningful conversations with people is my favorite

452
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 3: thing that I do. So I think that maybe distracts

453
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 3: from that a little bit.

454
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're focused on something bigger.

455
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the human connection. For me, the human connection

456
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 3: comes above all else, and I think it's something that

457
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 3: the wellness world gets wrong, is we want to prioritize

458
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 3: the cold plunging and the supplements and all the things

459
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 3: we should be eating, and red light therapy and SNA

460
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 3: and all these different things, and we forget that the

461
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 3: thing that has been studied the most to help our

462
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 3: health is our relationships with other people. And that's the

463
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 3: thing that we should be making sure that there's time

464
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 3: for instead of having it fall to the side so

465
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 3: that we can get all of.

466
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 2: The other things in our routine done.

467
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 1: There are so many other things. I feel like every

468
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: time I turn around, there's somebody else telling me how

469
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 1: to live better.

470
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 2: You know well, and that's why I love to find

471
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 2: your why.

472
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 3: Figure out your why so then you can always be

473
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,679
Speaker 3: running that script in your head. Is that something that

474
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 3: is relevant to me? Is that a why that I'm

475
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,400
Speaker 3: looking for? And it's going to change all the time,

476
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 3: And this moment, maybe you're looking for whys around your

477
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,439
Speaker 3: mental health. In another moment, maybe you're looking for whys

478
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 3: around your gut health, because that's the thing that's dominating

479
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 3: your experience.

480
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 2: Of this world at that time.

481
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: M hmm. That's good. In your book, you have a

482
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 1: chapter titled Think about Your Deaths, And we all know

483
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: that death is part of life. But break this down

484
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: for us, because when you think about death, what do

485
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 1: you envision?

486
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 3: M Yeah, this is one of the very first chapters

487
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 3: in my book which shows how important I think it is.

488
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,120
Speaker 2: I think it's one of the things you should be doing.

489
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 3: The rest of the book is really written in a

490
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 3: poo poo platter style, where you can take what you

491
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 3: need when you have a certain why. You can work

492
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 3: on your relationships, you can work on your longevity, all

493
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 3: these different things. But think about your death as something

494
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 3: I think all of us should be doing to get

495
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 3: a sense of what we want our life to be

496
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 3: at any given moment. And this is just a zoom

497
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 3: out picturing yourself at eighty ninety one hundred years old.

498
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 3: You're looking back on your life and this can be

499
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 3: so helpful in terms of the decisions that we're making.

500
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 3: Do I want to move to this city? Do I

501
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 3: want to go on a date with this person? What

502
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 3: is ninety five year old me? Who city there? Think

503
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 3: about the choices that I'm making in this moment. But

504
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 3: it can also really right size our perspective. If you

505
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 3: are on the beach and you're thinking about the way

506
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 3: that your thighs look in your swimsuit.

507
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 2: Is ninety five year.

508
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 3: Old you going to be like, Yes, that was a

509
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 3: great use of your time, or are they going to

510
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 3: be like I would give anything to be back running

511
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 3: on that beach, feeling the sand in my toes, feeling

512
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 3: the sun on my skin. And that can be really

513
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 3: sense making. Will ninety five year old you'd be glad

514
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 3: that you stressed over that work email for two hours

515
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 3: and that you beat yourself up for missing a word.

516
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: I don't think so.

517
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 3: So I find it really really helpful. And there's another

518
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 3: little trick that I learned from doctor Cassie Holmes. We

519
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,439
Speaker 3: did an episode of the podcast around unlocking how to

520
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 3: use our time in ways that will make us happier,

521
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 3: and she has this exercise where it's kind of sad,

522
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 3: but you think about the amount of times that you

523
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 3: have left to do a thing that you love. So,

524
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 3: if you have a dog that you love walking, actually,

525
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 3: how many times do you have left to do walks

526
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 3: with that dog? How many Christmases do you have left?

527
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 3: How many summers do you have left?

528
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 2: Oh?

529
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is sad, it's sad, but it's really beautiful

530
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 3: almost to realize it's so many less than you think,

531
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 3: and then you treat them with the reverence that they deserve.

532
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: This Christmas should matter, because you don't have infinite Christmases.

533
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 3: This dog walk you should be present for it.

534
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 2: You should be appreciating it. She told the story on this.

535
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 3: Podcast of a guy who realized how important his dog

536
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 3: walks were to him, and he started taking his dog

537
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 3: to this beach that she really loved and doing their

538
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 3: walks there. And then a few months later, the dog

539
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 3: got cancer and ultimately passed away, and he was so

540
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 3: glad that he'd done this exercise and that he'd realized

541
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 3: the preciousness of those moments before those moments were gone.

542
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, we get so caught up in doing and thinking

543
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 1: and tasking and that you stop thinking about the preciousness

544
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: of them, and.

545
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 3: We think it's all going to last forever, and it's

546
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 3: really really not. It's really not. And I don't say

547
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 3: that morbidly. I say that because how beautiful does that

548
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 3: make this moment? How beautiful does that make this conversation?

549
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 3: How beautiful does that make it? That you can hold

550
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 3: your pet, that you can write in your journal, that

551
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 3: you can feel the sun on your skin, that you

552
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 3: can drink that delicious glass of water. All of it

553
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 3: is so so beautiful, and unless we have that sense

554
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 3: of perspective, we can just let it pass us by.

555
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,719
Speaker 1: I think it feels like what you're saying, it's just

556
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: tapping into gratitude for what you have left, what you

557
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: have right now.

558
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 2: Gratitude and presence.

559
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 3: I would say, I think I suffer from, and I

560
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 3: know a lot of people that I talk to suffer

561
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,639
Speaker 3: from a real struggle of presence. And there's a lot

562
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 3: of factors working against us being present in our lives

563
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 3: at this moment, and I think we're all all.

564
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 2: Looking for ways to tap into that presence.

565
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: Yeah. So when you say think about your death, you're

566
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 1: not saying like, think about how you're going to die?

567
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 3: Hey, what to But no, No, use it as a

568
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 3: perspective maker, Use it as a way to help you

569
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 3: make decisions. Use it as a way to help you

570
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 3: gauge what's important. Use it as a way to help

571
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 3: you gauge what matters in life.

572
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll think about my death if you insist. Liz Moody,

573
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: did you know that my this is just completely off topic.

574
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: But my husband always when I get like in a mood,

575
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: you know, he'll say, you're being so rudy Giuliani.

576
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: Rudy.

577
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 1: Like he'll say, I'm being rudy. Now it's if I'm

578
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: in a mood. He'll say, you're being so Liz Moody. Wait,

579
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: I say your name all the time in our house.

580
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: I'm feeling Lis Moody right now.

581
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

582
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I just had to tell you that.

583
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 2: Have you ever had to die on screen?

584
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,880
Speaker 1: Die? Completely die?

585
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,359
Speaker 3: I feel like they put you through so much and

586
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 3: all of the stuff that you've been I don't think.

587
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: I've ever really fully died. Yeah, like I've almost died

588
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: a million times.

589
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 2: That's interesting.

590
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 3: I always wonder that for actors, like how dying would

591
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 3: on screen and tapping into all those emotions would impact

592
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 3: how you lived your life.

593
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 2: I've always wondered.

594
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, can let me know if you ever have a

595
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 1: death scene? Okay, I will report back. So you say

596
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: that finding happiness is such a key part of our

597
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 1: mental health. So how do you find your happiness? Like?

598
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,199
Speaker 1: What makes you happy? And how did you find that?

599
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: How do you find that on the daily.

600
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 3: I don't think that happiness is a state. I think

601
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 3: that what I aspire for is peace, contentment, connection, and

602
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 3: I aspire to pepper my days with these little moments.

603
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 3: So I've identified the things that make me feel the

604
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 3: way that I want to feel, that make me perform

605
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: the way that I want to perform, and then I

606
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 3: sprinkle them throughout my days that I'm not spending my

607
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,959
Speaker 3: weekdays waiting for my weekends. I'm not cycling in and

608
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 3: out of my happiness. I'm not waiting for a time

609
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 3: where if I achieve this, if I do this, if

610
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,959
Speaker 3: I get this friend, if I win this project, whatever,

611
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 3: I'll be happy. That's a really interesting neurochemical process where

612
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 3: our dopamine is released by us wanting things. Dopamine is

613
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 3: the chemical of motivation. It makes us want to do things,

614
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 3: and when we get those things, your dopamine is like,

615
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 3: well that doesn't feed me.

616
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: I want you to want more things.

617
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 3: So we end up on this perpetual cycle of desire

618
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 3: without ever feeling satisfaction. And I take a lot of

619
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 3: pains to build that satisfaction into my life. So these

620
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 3: micro moments of joy look like I do my Cirque

621
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 3: walks every single morning. I love that so much. That's

622
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: just going for a walk outside as soon as I

623
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 3: wake up. That's going to help set my circadian rhythm.

624
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 3: But also on those walks, I look for little moments

625
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 3: of AWE.

626
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 2: This is a.

627
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 3: Trick that a professor named Dhaker call Wultner, who studies

628
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 3: the psychology of emotions, taught me. He's researched AWE and

629
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 3: he says his AWE prescription is six minutes a week.

630
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: Not very much, but we.

631
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 3: Need to infuse our lives with six minutes a week

632
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 3: of AWE. It's going to help our inflammation levels, it's

633
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 3: gonna help our happiness, it's going to help our contentment,

634
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 3: it's going.

635
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 2: To help our sense of being part of the universe.

636
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 3: So on these cirqualks, I'll look for these tiny little

637
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 3: things like, oh, that flower is blooming over there, and

638
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 3: I didn't notice that yesterday. I've been noticing around my

639
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 3: neighborhood we're starting to get some fall colors, which is

640
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 3: really exciting and cool, And it's just having that real

641
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 3: sense of presence of looking around, looking at the clouds,

642
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 3: looking at the neighbor walking their dog. So you're taking

643
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 3: this thing that's already physiologically and psychologically good for you,

644
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 3: a walk in the sun, and then you're adding to that,

645
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 3: these little moments of awe that are going to begin

646
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 3: to rewire my brain and make me feel happier throughout

647
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 3: the rest of my day.

648
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 2: I also like to pepper.

649
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 3: In micro movement throughout the day, which really helps keep

650
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 3: my mental health feeling good. And I also like to

651
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 3: do micro connections throughout the day. I have literally time

652
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 3: put into my calendar where it's like call a friend

653
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 3: for ten minutes, go hang out with Zach for ten minutes,

654
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 3: so that I just have these little breaks.

655
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: It's my husband, he works for You're.

656
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 1: So smart, Liz.

657
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 2: How'd you get so smart?

658
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: I have so much knowledge.

659
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 2: I study it. It's been over the course.

660
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 3: I mean, we have two hundred fifty six podcast episodes

661
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 3: with the world's leading experts. So I feel like I've

662
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 3: gotten so lucky to be able to interview these people

663
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 3: and assimilate all of their knowledge and also help people

664
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: make it actionable.

665
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 2: I think that's a big thing for me.

666
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: Is like one thing to have the research, it's another

667
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 3: thing to put that into your life other little tricks.

668
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 2: Do you know?

669
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 3: Reading reduces stressed by sixty eight percent in so minutes.

670
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 3: That's a big number, sixty eight percent, six minutes. So

671
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 3: I love reading, and sometimes if I'm feeling really overwhelmed,

672
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 3: I'll just take a fifteen minute break and read some

673
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 3: fiction and it feels so completely decadent and it's just

674
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes, and then I can get back to the

675
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 3: rest of my workday.

676
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite favorite things. I need you

677
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: to design my daily calendar.

678
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 2: Send it to me every fifteen minutes. What to do.

679
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, by the end of the day, I'm gonna be

680
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: like floating on a cloud.

681
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 2: I do think.

682
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 3: I think calendars are also important, and we don't talk

683
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,920
Speaker 3: about that enough because we put our meetings, our tasks,

684
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 3: are to dos on our calendars, but we don't put

685
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: the things that are gonna make us feel our best.

686
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,239
Speaker 3: And so then we're cramming in the things that are

687
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 3: going to make us feel our best in the leftover time,

688
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 3: and we're sending this signal to our brains that the

689
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 3: thing that it's a priority is all the to dos

690
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 3: and meetings and tasks and feeling the way we want

691
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 3: to feel and being present and connecting to other people

692
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 3: in our one life on this planet is something we

693
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 3: should be squeezing into these little leftover moments.

694
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: If they are still there.

695
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you're so stressed out by all the to doos.

696
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: There's not a lot of room left for those moments.

697
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm a huge fan.

698
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 3: Put on your calendar, put your meditation on your calendar,

699
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 3: put your work out on your calendar, put a phone

700
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 3: call to your mom on your calendar. And if you

701
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 3: can fit in more than that, great. I'm not saying

702
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 3: you have to be so rigid about it, but if

703
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 3: you don't carve out the time in the first place,

704
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 3: it will likely take last priority and not happen.

705
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: I think that's a great thing for people to try.

706
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: And I know my daughter Luca has talked to me

707
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: about this too, and help me with this before actually

708
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: is writing down how I want my day to go,

709
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: like moment to moment and what I want to do,

710
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: and just following that for a day or following that

711
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: for a week and seeing how it changes things, and

712
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: then thinking, well, I love feeling this good. I'm going

713
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 1: to keep doing that, you know, and like I'm going

714
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: to keep that in my schedule.

715
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 2: Did what did you learn from that time?

716
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,719
Speaker 1: I learned that it's better for me to have like

717
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: a scope of what I want to achieve in a day,

718
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 1: and not just the toa dooo's, because I have plenty

719
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 1: of those. But yeah, like take a little walk, stretch,

720
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: go to the kitchen and have a glass of water,

721
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 1: like I'm going to add in fifteen minutes of reading

722
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: because I get for sixty eight percent.

723
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 2: Isn't that wild?

724
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 3: I love that sat so much because reading is also incredible,

725
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 3: But it's essentially a meditative exercise. Your attention will drift away,

726
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,399
Speaker 3: you'll bring it back to the words on the page.

727
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 3: Your attention will drift away, You'll bring it back to

728
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 3: the words on the page, which is a mindfulness meditation.

729
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 3: But you're getting to do it with like a juicy

730
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 3: rom com.

731
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: I love this. It's so good.

732
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 2: It's amazing.

733
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 1: I mean along that line, sticking to habits is really hard.

734
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: You also cover that in your book. You say that

735
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: sometimes if you can't get a habit to stick, you

736
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 1: might have to focus on the how might You might

737
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: be focusing on the how more than the why what

738
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: you talked about before, So explain that, because I'm sure

739
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 1: that we are all we've all experienced like giving up

740
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: on a new habit and then feeling like such a

741
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: loser when you are like you want something and you try,

742
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,399
Speaker 1: like reading fifteen minutes a day, Like if I don't

743
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: do that now but feel mad at.

744
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 2: Myself one hundred percent.

745
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 3: I mean, I can use the example that I talked about,

746
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 3: which was I exercise now for my mental health to

747
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,800
Speaker 3: illustrate this point. I tried to stick to a workout

748
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 3: routine for years and years and years. Everybody told me

749
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 3: I should do it, But the reason that I was

750
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 3: doing it was because I wanted my body to look

751
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 3: a certain way. So I would go to the gym,

752
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 3: I would do my workout, I'd lift up my shirt,

753
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 3: look at my abs. My abs looked the same, and

754
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 3: I was like, what this is bullshit? Like why am

755
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 3: I spending my time doing this? And it wasn't until

756
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 3: I was able to connect my workout with a why

757
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 3: that actually resonated with me, which is not conform my

758
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 3: body to society's arbitrary beauty standards, but feel the way

759
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 3: that I want to feel in my brain every single day,

760
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,240
Speaker 3: have the energy to do the things that are important

761
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 3: to me every single day. That I was actually able

762
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,879
Speaker 3: to wake up and make that workout stick. So this

763
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:54,919
Speaker 3: is from the tip in the book is from Daniel pink,

764
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 3: and he says that often we are over indexing on

765
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 3: fitting it into our schedule, which Jim should I go

766
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 3: to and what are the exact logistics, instead of stepping

767
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 3: back and saying, what is the reason that I'm trying

768
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 3: to incorporate that, because when we can tap into that

769
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 3: intrinsic motivation, the rest will fall into place, and asking

770
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 3: yourself what are the roadblocks? So for me, the roadblock

771
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 3: around working out to have my body look a certain

772
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 3: way tapped into my anger that my body was expected

773
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 3: to look a certain way and that this was part

774
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 3: of my value in society. So of course I was

775
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 3: subconsciously pushing back on that versus I deserve to feel good,

776
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 3: I deserve to feel calm, I deserve to feel energized.

777
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 3: You can see how those two messages are going to

778
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 3: be perceived differently on a subconscious level and result in

779
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 3: different actions.

780
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean I can relate to that

781
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 1: because I used to work out for how I looked also,

782
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: and I would always get frustrated that I wouldn't look

783
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: the way in my mind I thought I should look

784
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: when what is in my mind, as you said, is

785
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:04,280
Speaker 1: unattainable societally put on us. So now when I work out,

786
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: I to do it for my mental health and I

787
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: do it for my physical health. And those are the

788
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 1: reasons I drag my ass out of bed at six am,

789
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:17,320
Speaker 1: three days a week because it's really important to making

790
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,240
Speaker 1: me feel better. And I don't necessarily notice the difference

791
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 1: in my body, but it makes me feel better.

792
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 2: It makes me feel so much better.

793
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 3: I also have two other little actionable tips for sticking

794
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 3: to habits that I use a lot. One is a

795
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 3: commitment device, So if you have a hard time sticking

796
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,879
Speaker 3: to something, we are better at keeping commitments when they

797
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 3: happen outside of ourselves.

798
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 2: So you can make a.

799
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 3: Wager with a friend where you have to buy them

800
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 3: dinner one night if you don't turn in the manuscript

801
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 3: to the book that you've always wanted to work on.

802
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 2: You can make a workout date with a friend.

803
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 3: You're going to be so much less likely to disappoint

804
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 3: that friend than you are to disappoint yourself. For me,

805
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 3: this was another part of my workout journey. I started

806
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 3: booking non refundable classes in the morning and because I

807
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 3: didn't want to lose that money out of bed, and

808
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:02,919
Speaker 3: I will go to the class, and that was really

809
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 3: the thing that kicked off me being able to do

810
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:08,240
Speaker 3: it on a consistent basis. So commitment devices are really

811
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 3: really lovely. And then also you can tie habits that

812
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 3: you really don't like to things that you really really love.

813
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:18,439
Speaker 3: So watching your favorite reality show but only while you're

814
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 3: doing a workout or folding laundry, eating a little snack

815
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,479
Speaker 3: that you really really like, but only when you're doing

816
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 3: your taxes or answering your emails or whatever. The habit

817
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 3: is that you don't like, save the thing that you

818
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 3: really really love to only do during that time, and

819
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 3: you'll find yourself much more likely to do that habit.

820
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: To stick with it. That's good. Yeah, Okay, well I

821
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: feel like I've learned even more than when I was

822
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 1: reading your book. Did you also give me a box

823
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: a game? Yeah, Conversation Cards, the conversation Cards. I'm loving

824
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: your conversation We've been playing them for the last week

825
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: solid and it's so they're so great.

826
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 2: Thank you.

827
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 3: I am so into conversation. I actually just did an

828
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 3: episode of my podcast that's about small talk and how

829
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 3: we can all be incredible at small talk and we

830
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 3: don't have to be so anxious around it anymore. And

831
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 3: I do feel like there's a lot of anxiety around

832
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 3: that conversation piece. But we all want to connect, so

833
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,359
Speaker 3: I like to empower and enable people to do that.

834
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, small talk, how do you do that?

835
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, there's a lot of interesting research.

836
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 3: And first of all, it's a whole it's a whole episode,

837
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 3: so definitely a listen episode. But I mean, some of

838
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 3: the most interesting research in that episode I found was

839
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 3: that we don't we think that we don't like small

840
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 3: talk because we're afraid of getting rejected. So we're afraid

841
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 3: that we're going to try to talk to somebody and

842
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 3: they're not going to want to talk to us.

843
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 2: And then it's all going to be a flopper.

844
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 3: We're going to start to talk to somebody and they're

845
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 3: not going to have an enjoyable experience. But study a show,

846
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 3: that's not true at all. It's literally true zero percent

847
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 3: of the time. So if you get rid of in

848
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 3: your head the idea that you are going to be

849
00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 3: rejected either for the quality of your conversation or for

850
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,720
Speaker 3: even trying to have a conversation in the first place,

851
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 3: studies show that we actually do really like small talk.

852
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 3: We think we don't like small talk because we're afraid

853
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 3: of being rejected.

854
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 2: But if you remove that element.

855
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,879
Speaker 3: And actually are able to survey people after they set

856
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 3: up this whole thing on the subway where they like

857
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 3: assign certain people to talk to people, it's a really

858
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 3: interesting study. But people actually really enjoy small talk, but

859
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 3: we're just so afraid of getting rejected that we don't

860
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 3: think that we do.

861
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 1: So you're telling me that I like small talk, I

862
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: don't like to find leave.

863
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 2: According to the research you do.

864
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 3: And it's interesting because it's these little moments of human bonding.

865
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,359
Speaker 3: There's a concept of micro connections and that's just like

866
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,480
Speaker 3: the little talk in line at the grocery store, smiling

867
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 3: at your neighbor, and these are the things that they

868
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 3: they're shown to boost our optimism, they're shown to support

869
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 3: our immune system, but they also just remind us that

870
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 3: we're human beings having this experience on the planet with

871
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 3: other human beings, which is such a nice contrast to

872
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 3: the online world of us live in where you're so

873
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 3: able to disconnect from that.

874
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: That's so true.

875
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 3: And then I have a little small talk tip that

876
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 3: I like, tell tell me I share in the episode,

877
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 3: which is okay. So in the Victorian era, if you

878
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 3: were like a fancy lady, one of your jobs was

879
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 3: to show up at social events armed with conversation. So

880
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 3: one of your jobs was to kind of keep abreast

881
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 3: of what was happening in the cultural world, in the

882
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 3: social world, and the arts world, so that you could

883
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 3: have sparkling conversation on hand at any point. And I

884
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 3: have no interest in being a Victorian lady. Like I

885
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 3: love oral hygiene and I love being able to vote.

886
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 3: I think these are wonderful things. But I actually think

887
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 3: this is a really stealable tip.

888
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,280
Speaker 2: So what I'll do before I go to a party

889
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 2: or the hair salon where you have to make conversation

890
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 2: for like.

891
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,800
Speaker 1: Hours, two hours, for so long.

892
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 3: Anytime I'm going somewhere that's going to be a small

893
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 3: talk rich environment, I'll literally listen to a podcast that

894
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 3: would be interesting to talk about.

895
00:41:58,600 --> 00:41:59,720
Speaker 2: I'll read an article.

896
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: I'll arm myself with conversation topics intentionally so that when

897
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 3: I get to the hair salon, I can be like,

898
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I was listening to this really interesting podcast,

899
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 3: what do you think about this? And I go in

900
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 3: with those conversations prepared, and you can also use conversation.

901
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 2: Cards to do this.

902
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 3: It can feel a little weird sometimes to break out

903
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:22,439
Speaker 3: conversation cards with about your cards, but you can say like, oh, hey,

904
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 3: I was doing this conversation card with my husband earlier

905
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 3: and we got this long talk about it. What do

906
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 3: you think about this? And then you just say a

907
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 3: question from a conversation card, and then you're often rolling.

908
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 3: It's just about giving you that little initial push, which.

909
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 2: We all want. We're all rooting for that. So people

910
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 2: are going to be really receptive.

911
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna try just not trapping.

912
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 2: In your pocket, be a Victorian lady.

913
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: Okay, well, yeah, because I kind of can understand what

914
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 1: you're saying, Like when I'm in the grocery store line

915
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: and someone will talk to me and I will connect

916
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,919
Speaker 1: with them and talk back, like it does feel good.

917
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 3: I think it feels so good, and I think we

918
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 3: need it now more than ever, because otherwise we begin

919
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 3: to associate our fellow humans with all of the comments

920
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 3: and the things that we're seeing online, and that is

921
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 3: not an accurate portrayal of human humanity.

922
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, it's so so important to connect.

923
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:24,360
Speaker 1: And I have a tendency to not do that. Like I,

924
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,080
Speaker 1: I don't like to make eye contact when I'm kind

925
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: of out in the world because I feel like if

926
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: I don't make eye contact, there won't be that awkward moment,

927
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,880
Speaker 1: and then maybe it might be a little different. Because

928
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: I was wondering.

929
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 3: With me, we're so young, has impacted your ability to

930
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 3: have those micro connections in a way, And that makes me,

931
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,280
Speaker 3: honestly really sad that it interesting side effect of fame

932
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 3: that I feel like we don't talk about.

933
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: It's true and I but sometimes I break out of

934
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: it and I do it and it feels good. So

935
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: I think I should try doing that more. You're so inspiring,

936
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: Liz Moody.

937
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. You are too.

938
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 1: Okay, before I let you go, Liz Moody, what was

939
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 1: your last I Choose me moment?

940
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 3: A big I Choose me moment in my life is

941
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 3: that I'm an intentional drinker. So I gave up alcohol

942
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 3: almost completely about two years ago, and I choose on

943
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 3: a pretty regular basis to maintain that choice. I call

944
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 3: myself an intentional drinker because I've never struggled with addiction,

945
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 3: and so I still have alcohol on the table for myself,

946
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 3: which I find really helpful as somebody who used to

947
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 3: struggle with eating disorders and restriction and that type of thing.

948
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 3: I like the idea that I can have something if

949
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 3: I want to have something, which usually results in me

950
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 3: drinking like once a year, like a great champagne or

951
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 3: a really delicious cocktail or something like that. But I

952
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 3: used to drink four or five times a week. It

953
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:57,320
Speaker 3: was a real transition for me to change my relationship

954
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 3: with alcohol, and it's made my life so much much

955
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 3: better and I'm really excited about that choice. It feels

956
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 3: like a choice for myself. It was inspired by a

957
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 3: study that showed that alcohol was the second leading cause

958
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:10,360
Speaker 3: of cancer.

959
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 2: It was right after.

960
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 3: Cigarette smoking, which blew my mind because I think in

961
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: my head I was very much like, of course, if

962
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 3: I was going to choose to smoke a cigarette, of

963
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 3: course that would be causing cancer. But when I was

964
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 3: throwing back drinks most nights every week, I wasn't making

965
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 3: any cancer connection there. So once I read that research,

966
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 3: I really reflected on my life and it's been incredible. Honestly,

967
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 3: I get messages from people all of the time who

968
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 3: are so worried about everything that they might be giving

969
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 3: up if they give up alcohol, or if they refine

970
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,879
Speaker 3: their relationship with alcohol a little bit. And I felt

971
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 3: the same way too. And that time when I was

972
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 3: giving it up, I was like, how will I have

973
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 3: a social life? What will I do after work? How

974
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 3: will I destress? And I quite literally could not fathom

975
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 3: how it would work in my mind.

976
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 2: And it's been.

977
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 3: I have felt like I'm giving up anything. I felt

978
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 3: like I have gained so much, and I wish we

979
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 3: could switch the conversation around it to be more about

980
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 3: what are we gaining versus what are we losing. I'm

981
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 3: gaining back a sense of vibrancy on all of the

982
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,919
Speaker 3: days that I was hungover. I'm gaining back a sense

983
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 3: of energy both the nights that I was going out

984
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 3: drinking and the hungover days. I'm gaining so much connection

985
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,759
Speaker 3: because I remember the conversations that I'm having with my

986
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:27,399
Speaker 3: friends and my family. I'm gaining so much more fun

987
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 3: and adventure because I do fun stuff with the people

988
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 3: that I love instead of just going to a bar

989
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:34,839
Speaker 3: and drinking and having that be the go to. I've

990
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 3: gained so so so much, and I wish we could

991
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:39,439
Speaker 3: have that conversation more.

992
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: I love that. That's a really good I choose new moment.

993
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,279
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on the podcast.

994
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me. You're just You're

995
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 3: so lovely and I love talking to you.

996
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 1: Dittoh, right back at you, Liz Moody. I'm gonna always

997
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 1: call you your full name.

998
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 2: By the way, it's a good name. I like it.

999
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, bye bye oh. That was such a great conversation

1000
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: with Liz Moody. I hope you all check out her

1001
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: book and her podcast. Be sure to listen to the

1002
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 1: episode that I was on. We had so many giggles.

1003
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: As we continue to choose ourselves each week, I want

1004
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: you this week to take some advice from Liz Moody.

1005
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 1: I love this. Do a resilience practice. I was really

1006
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: into this when she said in our conversation that a

1007
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 1: lot of us practice gratitude, but so often we forget

1008
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: to remind ourselves about all the hard things we have

1009
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 1: faced and overcome. So this week I want you to

1010
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 1: write down and reflect on some of those difficult times

1011
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 1: you've had over the course of your life. Or even

1012
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,399
Speaker 1: if you just spend some time maybe you're driving, turn

1013
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 1: the radio off and ask yourself you know, look at

1014
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 1: all of those moments and reflect and congress, gratulate yourself

1015
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: for how you got through that dark time. Thanks for

1016
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 1: listening to I Choose Me. You can check out all

1017
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 1: our social links in our show notes, and are you

1018
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,760
Speaker 1: following us on social because that would be so cool.

1019
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 2: We post great.

1020
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: Content, So open up the show notes now and go

1021
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 1: click follow, leave us a review on whatever platform, and

1022
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: make sure to use that hashtag I Choose Me. I

1023
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,360
Speaker 1: will be right here next week. I hope you choose

1024
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: to be here too,