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Speaker 1: Hey there, folks.

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Speaker 2: Is Thursday, July tenth, we are four days away from

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Speaker 2: the finale of a Love Island. There will be a

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Speaker 2: new episode tonight in this show, which is a phenomenon,

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Speaker 2: no doubt, is a guilty pleasure to some, but it's

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Speaker 2: a relationship therapy to others. And if you get beyond

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Speaker 2: the hot bodies, the kissing gangs, and the show controversy,

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Speaker 2: these Islanders are teaching us all relationship lessons and showing

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Speaker 2: us the relationship mistakes. They're pretty much every single one

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Speaker 2: of us has made or is currently making in our

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Speaker 2: own relationship. And with that, welcome to this edition, Love Edition,

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Speaker 2: Love Island Edition of Amy and TJ Robes for real.

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Speaker 2: You got me on this show a couple of years ago,

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Speaker 2: and I was completely turned off by it. Initially it

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Speaker 2: was silly. I started paying attention and we started having

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Speaker 2: substantive conversations about relationships.

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Speaker 3: It's absolutely true, and at first maybe a little embare

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Speaker 3: to admit. But now that everyone seems to be jumping

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Speaker 3: on the Love Island bandwagon, I don't feel so ashamed

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Speaker 3: about saying that actually, yes it is a guilty pleasure,

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Speaker 3: Yes it is entertaining.

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Speaker 4: But there really are deeper.

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Speaker 3: Messages, deeper takeaways you can get from these folks who,

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Speaker 3: whether or not you believe they're actually looking for love,

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Speaker 3: are attempting to couple up, are attempting to be in

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Speaker 3: a relationship, if nothing else, to win the prize money

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Speaker 3: and maybe win a boyfriend or girlfriend in the process.

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Speaker 4: But real life issues.

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Speaker 3: Are taking place on this villa that mimic real life

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Speaker 3: issues in all of our lives, so real in all

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Speaker 3: of our relationships full time.

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Speaker 2: So it really I said at the top, if you

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Speaker 2: look past the hot bods and some of the stuff

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Speaker 2: going on, we have the show kind of on in

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Speaker 2: the background some previous episodes. As we're doing this, everything

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Speaker 2: looks so bright and everybody looks so hot, and it's

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Speaker 2: a nice villa and gorgeous. There is some realness and

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Speaker 2: some underlying ugliness that people deal with in their relationships

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Speaker 2: that if you step back out of your own and

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Speaker 2: you watch somebody else, you can go, oh, my god,

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Speaker 2: he shouldn't have said that, Oh she shouldn't have put

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Speaker 2: it that way.

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Speaker 1: Oh why are they you see it when it's.

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Speaker 3: Somebody else, Yes, And then maybe if you really can

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Speaker 3: get honest with yourself, you can say Ooh, I might

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Speaker 3: have done that before. Ooh, that might have been what

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Speaker 3: I said last time, and I shouldn't have.

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Speaker 4: You really can start to.

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Speaker 3: Put yourself in their roles, and a lot of this

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Speaker 3: is insecurity.

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Speaker 4: It's jealousy, it's ego.

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Speaker 3: And youth and inexperience, a lot of oh yeah, and

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Speaker 3: sometimes some of those young inexperienced for sikes, I'm still

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Speaker 3: making at the age of fifty two.

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Speaker 4: So it's really fascinating.

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Speaker 1: So watch this thing.

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Speaker 2: So yes, the last episode, episode thirty two. Of course,

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Speaker 2: everybody talks so much about it because controversy. Somebody else

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Speaker 2: got kicked off the show recently, Sierra Otega. A lot

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Speaker 2: of you all know that. We won't dive back into

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Speaker 2: that right now, but it was a big deal because

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Speaker 2: a couple got sent home. So Taylor and Clark are gone.

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Speaker 2: We're getting down to the last few couples now. But

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Speaker 2: in the last episode, so thirty two, there were four

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Speaker 2: we noticed four huge relationship scenarios that will cause problems

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Speaker 2: if you don't address them quickly. We're gonna go through

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Speaker 2: the four, but one PDA, what do you do if

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Speaker 2: one partner likes to be affectionate in public and the

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Speaker 2: other doesn't Another issue cutting someone off during conversation. Does

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Speaker 2: it suck when your partner won't let you finish a sentence?

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Speaker 2: Also kissing and telling do you go back and tell

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Speaker 2: your friends' details about the bedroom? And then passive aggressive?

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Speaker 2: Do you or your partner have a problem expressing yourself

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Speaker 2: when you're actually upset and end up just acting out

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Speaker 2: in a way? So those are the four major issues rollups.

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Speaker 2: Let's go with PDA first a scenario. This had to

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Speaker 2: do with Chris the basketball player and Hudo.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and so Chris was questioning why Hudo was all

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Speaker 3: about getting intimate in bed at night when the lights

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Speaker 3: were off. Granted, all the other islanders are in bed

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Speaker 3: right next to them making out as well, correct, But

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Speaker 3: when it came to like the daylight or just walking around,

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Speaker 3: she wouldn't even She was uncomfortable with him even giving

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Speaker 3: her him a small peck, And so he questioned her.

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Speaker 3: He said, why is it that you're all ready to

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Speaker 3: get intimate in bed, but in front of all the

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Speaker 3: other islanders you're looking around to see who's looking. You

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Speaker 3: don't want to be showing affection towards me in front

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Speaker 3: of everyone else.

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Speaker 4: And the cameras. Why is that okay?

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Speaker 2: So let's take her at her word. First of all,

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Speaker 2: is what she said, she was trying to move a

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Speaker 2: little slower. She wasn't as comfortable in public. She didn't

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Speaker 2: want to make some of the mistakes that she made

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Speaker 2: previously in her other relationships. Her reasons for it are

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Speaker 2: her reasons. The issue there being do they both have

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Speaker 2: have you dealt with this? And we can all answer.

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Speaker 2: There's a certain degree of discomfort I have had in

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Speaker 2: relationships with public displays of affection because sometimes I don't

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Speaker 2: find it's authentic. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, sometimes it's not wanted

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Speaker 2: by me. It's usually not a matter of just all,

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Speaker 2: I'm in public, so I don't want to hold hands

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Speaker 2: or I don't want to kiss. It has everything to

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Speaker 2: do with who you're with, is what I find.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't agree more with you.

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Speaker 3: Yes, So I have also thought of myself as someone

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Speaker 3: who doesn't like PDA. In fact, I've said it openly

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Speaker 3: all the time. You and I used to joke I'm

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Speaker 3: not a big handholder. I don't really like turns out.

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Speaker 4: It turns out it depends on the.

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Speaker 5: Partner, because I would say, maybe, well, we both are.

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Speaker 4: We're not over the top.

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Speaker 3: We might have been accused of such things, but I

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Speaker 3: think we've just expressed ourselves and felt comfortable expressing ourselves

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Speaker 3: physically if we're in public or we're in private, holding hands, hugging,

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Speaker 3: even a kiss. I don't really enjoy watching people or

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Speaker 3: being participating in making out in front of people.

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Speaker 4: I think that's a lot.

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Speaker 3: And that's when people usually scream get a room, and

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Speaker 3: I would agree, I don't like that.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, a peck, a small kiss.

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Speaker 2: We should be clear, this is what we're talking about

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Speaker 2: on the show. It wasn't so major makeout session. So

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Speaker 2: what do partners do? So now, let's solve that issue.

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Speaker 2: If you are in a relationship in which you aren't

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Speaker 2: comfortable with public displays of affection, we're not talking about

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Speaker 2: the makeout stuff, simple hand holding, arm around.

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Speaker 1: You, a kiss, you get up from the table at the.

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Speaker 2: Rest of those kinds of things. What does one do?

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Speaker 2: How does a couple resolve such an issue? Because we

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Speaker 2: can love each other plenty and just one person isn't

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Speaker 2: as into that, but it's going to feel like a

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Speaker 2: rejection by the from the other person.

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Speaker 1: So what do you do it?

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Speaker 4: One hundred percent would feel like a rejection.

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Speaker 1: Look, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I have been in this situation where now I can

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Speaker 3: be reflective in having had several relationships that for me,

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Speaker 3: it actually was the person I was with, and it

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Speaker 3: was perhaps a symptom of a larger problem that maybe

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Speaker 3: there's a reason why you don't want to hold someone's

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Speaker 3: hand in public or even pat them on the butt

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Speaker 3: or give them a hug or a peck.

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Speaker 4: Maybe you don't want other people.

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Speaker 3: Seeing you doing that because maybe you're really not that

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Speaker 3: into that person.

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Speaker 4: I think that you have to ask yourself that.

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Speaker 3: I think you have to have an honest conversation and

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Speaker 3: maybe you don't want to admitted, but it could be a.

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Speaker 4: Symptom of a larger problem.

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Speaker 3: And for the person who wants the affection and who

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Speaker 3: feels rejected, I think you have a legitimate claim. I

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Speaker 3: think you can have a conversation about it and maybe

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Speaker 3: just make sure that the other person.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I do think it's a I think it's a warning,

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Speaker 3: a warning sign.

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Speaker 2: So the person being rejected has to listen and have

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Speaker 2: some level of grace that works well when you've got

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Speaker 2: years and experience together, they're on a show where they've

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Speaker 2: been together for weeks, or and someone at the at

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Speaker 2: the beginning seemingly rejecting me as a six' eight fit

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Speaker 2: former professional athlete in this environment where everybody is supposed

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Speaker 2: to be, horny you won't even give me a kiss

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Speaker 2: on the. Cheek that in front of. People, yeah that feels.

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Speaker 2: Different that feels like.

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Speaker 3: It and especially when you're playing a, game you want

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Speaker 3: to maybe people trying to keep their options. Open so

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Speaker 3: it's a little, suspicious AND i do think IT'S i

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Speaker 3: think he should feel validated in feeling slightly. REJECTED i

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Speaker 3: do think that they're is something to.

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Speaker 2: THAT i don't want to break, down and people have

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Speaker 2: their opinions who's right who's wrong in that, scenario but

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Speaker 2: it is a scenario every single one of us at

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Speaker 2: some point has dealt.

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Speaker 4: With how do you feel ABOUT pda in? PARTICULAR i.

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Speaker 1: DON'T i appreciate, it AND i.

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Speaker 2: HAVE i found it sad that anyone thinks it's odd

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Speaker 2: that you AND i are in public. Always we are

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Speaker 2: always physically touching each other in one way or. Another

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Speaker 2: we don't even recognize. It sometimes if you just find

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Speaker 2: a way we're just physically. TOUCHING i think that's, great

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Speaker 2: AND i think it's too bad if someone actually sees

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Speaker 2: that and thinks it's, odd.

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Speaker 1: It thinks it's. Wrong people aren't supposed to. Inappropriate they're

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Speaker 1: into each.

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Speaker 2: OTHER i think it is a way Of, look sometimes

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Speaker 2: we have a struggle SAYING i love you OR i

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Speaker 2: miss you Or i'm. Sorry there's a way to express yourself,

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Speaker 2: physically and she is physically telling him. Something. Right isn't

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Speaker 2: that what love was supposed to. Be it's not just

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Speaker 2: a matter of having love behind the. Scenes you want

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Speaker 2: to be, public want your. Love that's how you express.

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Speaker 1: It, yeah and show you.

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Speaker 2: Out SO i felt sorry for the brother on, that

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Speaker 2: but it led to him being passive. Aggressive we'll get into.

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Speaker 1: That everybody makes.

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Speaker 4: Mistakes right when you feel, rejected you go one.

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Speaker 1: Way all, Right.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna stick the second big issue and this one

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Speaker 2: who is a doozy still with christ And, huda they're

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Speaker 2: the ones that had this issue as. Well cutting somebody

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Speaker 2: off during. Conversation every single one of us has at

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Speaker 2: least one person in our. Lives we're not talking about

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Speaker 2: overtalk in the back and forth of a. Conversation we're,

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Speaker 2: like flat out won't let you finish your sentence and

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Speaker 2: cuts you. Off co, workers family, members, friends. Partners we've

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Speaker 2: all had people who are like. That how do you

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Speaker 2: handle that in a? Relationship because it happened With christ And,

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Speaker 2: Huda he's trying to express himself about this whole. Issue

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Speaker 2: he could not get three words.

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Speaker 3: OUT i don't mean to be totally Team chris, here

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Speaker 3: BUT i thought he handled it really really. Well he

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Speaker 3: did not get, mad he didn't get, loud he didn't

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Speaker 3: cut her, off but he kept telling her you're cutting me,

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Speaker 3: off you're not letting me. Finish and he said it,

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Speaker 3: calmly AND i think he handled it really really well and.

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Speaker 2: Eventually answered it. Desperately he just, said could you please

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Speaker 2: let me? Finish? Please, like what are you supposed to?

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Speaker 2: Do and that there's a height of frustration if you're

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Speaker 2: trying to make a point and it gets cut off

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Speaker 2: and somebody answers for you and answers a question that

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Speaker 2: you weren't even, asking and he's just a waste of.

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Speaker 3: Time it's so, Frustrating AND i will follow on my sword.

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Speaker 3: HERE i have been completely guilty of being that person

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Speaker 3: and recognizing it through your.

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Speaker 4: Calm you are cutting me. Off you are not letting me.

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Speaker 3: Finish and what when this typically Happens and this is

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Speaker 3: when it happened In Love island is when she was

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Speaker 3: being accused of something where she felt like she had

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Speaker 3: to defend herself instead of listening to.

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Speaker 4: Him and, actually you have said this to me.

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Speaker 3: Before when you start addressing a problem and you're being

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Speaker 3: vulnerable as a man, Especially i'm not trying to say

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Speaker 3: it's a gender, thing but when a man decides to

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Speaker 3: be vulnerable and tell you why he's feeling a certain,

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00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,800
Speaker 3: way us women can't suddenly go into defense mode and

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Speaker 3: start trying to defend ourselves. Instead, wow take a moment to,

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Speaker 3: say my guy is actually opening up his heart and

240
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Speaker 3: explaining why he feels. Hurt and IF i can't listen to, him,

241
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Speaker 3: now what AM i saying to? Him and that is for,

242
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Speaker 3: me that was a wake up call and it could

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Speaker 3: have been a wake up call for. Her didn't happen,

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Speaker 3: though because he was being, vulnerable.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't and for, us and again they're very early,

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Speaker 2: on but you start this pattern of she doesn't, listen

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Speaker 2: or this person doesn't, listen my partner doesn't, Listen my

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Speaker 2: partner doesn't listen we're talking about relationship. Now but your

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Speaker 2: partner's going to go to work and have a bad

250
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Speaker 2: day and not want to come home and try to

251
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Speaker 2: talk to, you but just stick around the office a little,

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Speaker 2: longer or take time getting, home or do something and

253
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Speaker 2: that over, time and yes even over, years you don't

254
00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,760
Speaker 2: even realize it's, happening but you checked, out and now

255
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,680
Speaker 2: you've got a. Problem that thing for a couple that's

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00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,880
Speaker 2: just starting, out folks pay attention to, that because if

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Speaker 2: they potentially are together for a, year two, years three,

258
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Speaker 2: years five, years get, married that what we just saw

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Speaker 2: is going to come.

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Speaker 3: Back, yes if she can't recognize what she's, doing that

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00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:23,320
Speaker 3: she is putting her own defense mechanisms up above the

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Speaker 3: needs of her partner who wants to be heard and listened.

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Speaker 1: To you're.

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Speaker 2: Right he immediately said something that he was hurt about

265
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Speaker 2: something she was. Doing she heard three words and immediately jumped, in, well, no, no, no, No.

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Speaker 3: And here's WHY i did, it BECAUSE i had a

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Speaker 3: hard time And i've been doing. This, LOOK i have

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Speaker 3: absolutely been guilty of, that one hundred. PERCENT i have

269
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Speaker 3: absolutely been recognizing it because it is a shitty thing to.

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Speaker 4: Do and you are you know.

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Speaker 1: What this is the.

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Speaker 3: Truth when it comes to a, relationship you are going

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Speaker 3: to eventually go where your emotional needs are being, met,

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Speaker 3: period and it might mean not staying.

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Speaker 4: In your relationship are not being. MET i can confirm.

276
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Speaker 2: That, yeah we should give him very. Calm all he

277
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,080
Speaker 2: could say was will you please let me finish What i'm?

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00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,960
Speaker 2: Saying and he said it. CALMLY i think she eventually

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Speaker 2: let him. SPEAK i believe she.

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Speaker 4: Did for a, second and then she got up and

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Speaker 4: left because she didn't like what he.

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Speaker 1: Said, okay so.

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Speaker 2: You know, what here's a. Lesson he handled that very.

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Speaker 2: Well she in that moment gave us an example of

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Speaker 2: what not to do to your.

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Speaker 3: Partner AND i do think it is highly beneficial to

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Speaker 3: watch these shows with your partner and to, say, OOH

288
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,200
Speaker 3: i can get it.

289
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Speaker 4: Now how hurt you have been WHEN i have done?

290
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Speaker 3: That WHEN i Saw chris And, huda WHEN i wasn't, involved,

291
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:36,080
Speaker 3: right WHEN i didn't have to defend myself or feel

292
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,160
Speaker 3: the need to defend, myself BUT i could actually just

293
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,719
Speaker 3: watch it and, say, wow that's HOW tj felt WHEN

294
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Speaker 3: i did. That, NO i seriously can do.

295
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Speaker 2: That we say the show is a Value we're not.

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Speaker 2: Kidding this is not a stretch in the last. Bit

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Speaker 2: this show is a relationship saver if you actually will

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Speaker 2: pay attention to the lesson to that other there in

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Speaker 2: front of. You all, right, well stay with. Us we've

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00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,000
Speaker 2: got two more things to go over. Here other less

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00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,480
Speaker 2: lessons that we have. Learned one has to do with

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00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:06,800
Speaker 2: kissing and, telling do you go let your friends know

303
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,640
Speaker 2: what just happened in your? Bedroom and then finally passive

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00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,640
Speaker 2: aggressive hop that some of y'all are guilty of doing it.

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00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:26,360
Speaker 3: Today welcome back everyone to this episode Of amy AND,

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00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:31,320
Speaker 3: tj where we are discussing real life love lessons.

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00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 4: That we are learning as we Watch Love ISLAND.

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00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,480
Speaker 3: Usa there's only a couple more episodes, left but, hey

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00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,280
Speaker 3: if you haven't join, in you'll catch up really.

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Speaker 1: QUICKLY i.

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Speaker 4: Promise it's not that.

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00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:46,240
Speaker 5: Complicated but what you will learn if you especially watch

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00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:50,560
Speaker 5: this with your romantic, partner you are gonna actually identify

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00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,880
Speaker 5: things that these couples are, doing even in the early

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00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 5: stages of their fake or real, relationships because they are

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00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,400
Speaker 5: real emotions attached and real motivations along with.

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00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,800
Speaker 2: Them we watch, it you, said watch with your. Partner

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00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 2: it's not going to cause, fights but it will cause.

319
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 2: Conversations we have, absolutely it's taken us two hours to

320
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,280
Speaker 2: get through a fifty minute episode because we keep pausing

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00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,000
Speaker 2: because we've got.

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00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,080
Speaker 1: To go around around about.

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00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,720
Speaker 2: Something yeah like oh, no, no, no, No i'm telling you

324
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 2: what she should have. Done we go back and.

325
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,760
Speaker 3: You, know it's never sparked a. Fight it's never sparked

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00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,120
Speaker 3: any sort of. Conflict it's ACTUALLY i think helped understanding

327
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,680
Speaker 3: in about previous conflicts that maybe weren't fully.

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00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,160
Speaker 4: RESOLVED i have been amazed at.

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00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 3: These shows and so, yes we saw On tuesday nights

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00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,920
Speaker 3: episode and this has happened so much In Love. Island

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00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,320
Speaker 3: you wus, SAY i wonder how people feel about, This

332
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,160
Speaker 3: and we've asked each, other do you go? Back have

333
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,080
Speaker 3: you ever told your? Girlfriends have you ever told your

334
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 3: guy friends about some amazing sex you just, had or

335
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,200
Speaker 3: what it's like in the bedroom with one girl or the.

336
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,760
Speaker 3: Other it seems like it, happens not just, frequently but

337
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:04,640
Speaker 3: it's almost expected in The Love island, villa and Obviously

338
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,320
Speaker 3: america and the world is listening as.

339
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,240
Speaker 2: Well we're talking About amaya And, brian right they got

340
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,640
Speaker 2: a chance to go into the right away that's what

341
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 2: they'll call it the, hightout but.

342
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,640
Speaker 1: For a night as a.

343
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,800
Speaker 2: Couple that was in the last. Episode so they came,

344
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,800
Speaker 2: out and of course their Fellow, islanders the girls over

345
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 2: in one, group the guys another, group, Sorry hooton And

346
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 2: holland and welcoming them all back, victorious right like they

347
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,920
Speaker 2: just came back from battle in. It, look we have

348
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,920
Speaker 2: to take it in context of the, show and we

349
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 2: should also should we not take it in context of that? Environment,

350
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,040
Speaker 2: however all of us ask, yourself if you're dating somebody

351
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,360
Speaker 2: now you've been together a, month six, months a, year five,

352
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,920
Speaker 2: years you've been, married do you want that person to

353
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:52,560
Speaker 2: go and gleefully happily give details about you all in the.

354
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,800
Speaker 1: Bedroom, no and it IT i have.

355
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,800
Speaker 3: Happen that's wherever, yes AND i have been extremely upset

356
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,080
Speaker 3: about it because the worst thing could ever happen is

357
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 3: when it comes back to, you and even if it's.

358
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,679
Speaker 4: Good or, praise it still feels like a.

359
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:07,679
Speaker 1: Betrayal AND i.

360
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:13,399
Speaker 3: Have personally experienced that and it is actually for, me

361
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,119
Speaker 3: it felt. Devastating it felt like such a, betrayal LIKE

362
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,840
Speaker 3: i can never trust you, again this is not, Okay

363
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 3: and it felt.

364
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 4: Like a form of.

365
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,879
Speaker 3: Bragging and it just felt LIKE i was a, LIKE

366
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,320
Speaker 3: i don't, know it just felt like maybe this is,

367
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,240
Speaker 3: me Maybe i'm, older maybe young people don't feel the same.

368
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,879
Speaker 3: Way it felt like like you're almost a, transactional like

369
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,840
Speaker 3: you're a piece of, meat that it was something to be.

370
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,919
Speaker 4: Discussed i'm, SORRY i was just so.

371
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,359
Speaker 1: Excited it was NOT.

372
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 4: Tj it was not.

373
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,080
Speaker 1: TJEd you.

374
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 3: Wouldn't AM i crazy to say, this BUT i feel

375
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 3: LIKE i know you well enough you would never.

376
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,080
Speaker 4: Ever you're so.

377
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:52,120
Speaker 1: PRIVATE i am trying to find.

378
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 2: Way and, Again i'm not trying to criticize the guys

379
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,000
Speaker 2: and gals on the show because of the environment there

380
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 2: IN i just ask everybody we say it's relationship, lesson

381
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 2: like look at, that watch what's happening on the, show

382
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 2: and think about you being the one being talked about

383
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 2: in another group like, that and the way they talked to.

384
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 2: Me it's the one thing that is to, say oh my,

385
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,200
Speaker 2: god we had a wonderful. Night he's so sweet and

386
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 2: he was so. Tender and she was not saying.

387
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 1: That i'm saying.

388
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 2: That it was the chant eat that, Kitty eat that.

389
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 1: Kitty the.

390
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,320
Speaker 4: Girl the girl's yelling that they were worse than the.

391
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 4: Guys they were worse than the.

392
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,560
Speaker 1: GUYS i, MEAN i don't know.

393
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,600
Speaker 2: How it's okay if somebody wants, it everybody's. Comfortable maybe

394
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 2: she don't mind being talked about in that. Way and

395
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,000
Speaker 2: again the environment isn't. Expected but the, lesson or at

396
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 2: least the THING i was trying to get folks to point, out,

397
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 2: like how does that look and how does that feel

398
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,440
Speaker 2: if that were you being talked about in such a,

399
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 2: Way it's just it's it's weird to see them so

400
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 2: giddy and talking about just and they've known each other

401
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 2: how long.

402
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:51,960
Speaker 1: Now it's been a?

403
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 2: Month a?

404
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 3: Month, YEAH i, mean it seemed like they were both

405
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 3: okay with, it totally fine with. It maybe they had

406
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,679
Speaker 3: a conversation ahead of, time, saying are you cool IF

407
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 3: i SAY i admit we had. Sex maybe they checked

408
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 3: with one of Their we've seen in other reality shows

409
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 3: where they've denied it and then later, said, WELL i

410
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 3: just didn't want to say it BECAUSE i was respecting,

411
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,680
Speaker 3: her WHICH i. APPRECIATE i don't know that you don't

412
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 3: have to, tell but clearly it looked like both of

413
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,199
Speaker 3: them wanted to, tell you know, What it reminded me

414
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 3: of a much steamier version Of. Grease tell me, More

415
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,000
Speaker 3: tell me? More did she put up a fight like

416
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 3: that kind of?

417
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 4: Thing which that's a terrible line in and of.

418
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 1: Itself why WOULD i go to the rape? Line but,

419
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 1: anyway you, know everybody go look at the look up

420
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 1: the lyrics THAT.

421
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 3: I kept thinking WHEN i was watching this that it

422
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 3: reminded me of an actual version of that scene In

423
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,400
Speaker 3: greece where they're trying to get each one to say

424
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:49,200
Speaker 3: what happened Between danny And olivia And John Sandy, Sandy

425
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,400
Speaker 3: danny And. Sandy, yes but this is a much raunchier,

426
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,879
Speaker 3: version but, yes or is?

427
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 4: It it's?

428
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 2: Really? Everybody, Please i'm. Serious google the lyrics to tell

429
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 2: me more From grease and read through those original. Lyrics

430
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,119
Speaker 2: we will only way like we were smiling and dancing to.

431
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 3: This you think baby Gets Cooled outside as a rape? Song,

432
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 3: okay well you take a listen to tell me?

433
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,360
Speaker 1: More is with the? Highways?

434
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,400
Speaker 2: Sorry lessons From greece as, well that's in our next.

435
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: Episode the last thing here kissing and. Telling but the

436
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,919
Speaker 2: last thing here number four on the, list and we

437
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 2: go back To chris And huda and it's all stems

438
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,120
Speaker 2: from that original conflict they had about THE pda passive.

439
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 2: AGGRESSIVE i think everybody knows exactly what this. Means what

440
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 2: we saw it play out in that his attitude. Changed

441
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 2: he started being, quiet short with his. Answers she kept

442
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 2: asking what's, wrong what's? Wrong what's? Wrong classic passive.

443
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:46,440
Speaker 3: Aggressiveness and that's really hard because on one, hand she's probably, thinking, oh,

444
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 3: NO i did something, wrong but she can't really put

445
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 3: her finger on it because she doesn't know what's upsetting.

446
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:55,000
Speaker 3: Him and he that's his power by not telling her

447
00:20:55,359 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 3: and she's, questioning and he's not admitting that he's actually.

448
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,679
Speaker 4: Upset, look it's hard when you're upset to admit you're,

449
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 4: upset but it's even more.

450
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 3: Difficult it doesn't make things any easier by not admitting

451
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 3: what it is that upset. You and this is this

452
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 3: is a classic response to feeling hurt or. Rejected he

453
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 3: felt rejected by her not wanting to kiss him in

454
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 3: public or give him a peck in, public and so

455
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,119
Speaker 3: this was his way to retaliate without even realizing he was.

456
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 3: Retaliating probably passive aggressiveness is one of those things where

457
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 3: you're maybe not even realizing you're doing, it but you're

458
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 3: feeling some sort of power or strength from doing, it power.

459
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 2: ASTERTING i never thought about it that. Way you think

460
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,479
Speaker 2: he was a form of, PUNISHMENT i say. Him but in,

461
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 2: general when we're talking about passive aggressive, behavior where are

462
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 2: we closing? Off were punishing emotionally? Someone what are we

463
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 2: actually trying to do other than just protect?

464
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 3: OURSELVES i think IT'S i think the number one thing

465
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 3: you're doing is protecting, yourself, yes from because you're hurt

466
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 3: and you're being, vulnerable so you put up a. Wall

467
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 3: but you're also punishing your, partner especially when they're asking

468
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 3: you what's, wrong because you know they want to, know and.

469
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 4: You're, like you know, what they don't get to know right.

470
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 4: NOW i think.

471
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 2: There's a little bit of, both Isn't you're just, pissed all,

472
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 2: right and you can't express being. Angry the THING i

473
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 2: noticed in this scenario coming from a male, PERSPECTIVE i don't. Guess,

474
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: Well i've worked my way out of, this but it

475
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 2: is very difficult for a man to be. Vulnerable it's

476
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 2: difficult to be emotionally. Vulnerable it's difficult to show something

477
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 2: that appears to be, weakness anything less than strength and even,

478
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 2: manhood manly, MANHOOD i mean a to a particular kind of.

479
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 2: Machismo this guy is six foot, eight he's, black former professional,

480
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 2: athlete good looking on this. Show girl won't kiss. Him

481
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:46,679
Speaker 2: that's a type of rejection in that whole packaging and

482
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 2: context that what is he supposed to do with. THAT

483
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 2: i can't sit here AND i can't sit up and admit, That,

484
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 2: Hey i'm upset because you won't kiss. Me that sounds

485
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 2: batter makes so much. Sense would he didn't say it

486
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,639
Speaker 2: that ultimately when they got to, It BUT i, mean

487
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 2: he's he's. Stuff you've talked about. This we react differently

488
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,879
Speaker 2: when we're hurt or when we're. Vulnerable some people lash,

489
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 2: out some people get, loud some people get. Quiet some

490
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 2: people the, passive aggressive people do their. Things some people

491
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 2: cut you off in. Conversation we do it. Differently that

492
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 2: was HIS i saw. Him it's hard for a six

493
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 2: eight brother to, say, Yeah i'm weak and my feelings

494
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 2: were hurt because you wouldn't give me. Affection that's a tough.

495
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 3: Nuh you can see it when someone else is experiencing,

496
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 3: it and then remind yourself when i'm, Again i'm not

497
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 3: in this mind sound Like i'm, Overreaching but then when

498
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 3: you are experiencing, THAT i can actually remember what other

499
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 3: people did and, say.

500
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:40,239
Speaker 4: See that's what you're doing right.

501
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 3: Now like if you can take your own emotions and

502
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 3: barriers in all the walls we put up to protect,

503
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 3: ourselves and if you can actually look at it because

504
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 3: you've seen someone else do it and you can see

505
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 3: how ugly that is and how hurtful it is and

506
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 3: how it makes things worse not, better you can.

507
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 4: Get yourself out of.

508
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 3: It LIKE i have absolutely used scenarios THAT i have

509
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: in these. Shows just tell, myself see what you're, doing recognize,

510
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 3: it get yourself out of.

511
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:10,959
Speaker 2: It so thank you to The Love. Islanders i'm we

512
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 2: didn't do this as A. Joe we actually would. Have

513
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 2: we wanted to be doing this the entire, season but

514
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,400
Speaker 2: we were actually going Through we were following The ditty

515
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 2: case every single, day and we were putting up two

516
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: episodes a day with updates About, Didty and that really

517
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 2: is the reason why we haven't been doing these. Updates

518
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 2: so we're going to do this kind of final countdown here.

519
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 2: NOW i don't guess anybody else is gonna be kicked

520
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 2: Off the show waded through the season with only two

521
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 2: getting kicked off for racial type. Incidents Sierra ortago was the.

522
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,120
Speaker 2: Last she did. Apologize you wal can catch. That that's another,

523
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 2: update but she had a long apology video that was

524
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 2: online went a couple of, minutes but she talked for

525
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,639
Speaker 2: quite a. Bit but beyond the controversy, ropes there's a

526
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 2: lot of good stuff in this.

527
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 4: Show, YES i cannot wait to watch.

528
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 3: Tonight and, yes now we have an episode this Is thursday,

529
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 3: night every night until the finale On sunday. Night so

530
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 3: we're going to go ahead and put up an episode

531
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 3: everyd talking about the love lessons and life lessons we

532
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 3: are learning from each and every episode Of Love ISLAND.

533
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 4: Usa we have no.

534
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 2: Intention Of we're not going to come over here and

535
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,640
Speaker 2: criticize anybody's move Who america should have picked. That we're

536
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 2: team this person to team that. Person there is really

537
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 2: real relationship value we're plucking out of there and enjoying

538
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,159
Speaker 2: talking about because we have done every single one of

539
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:22,959
Speaker 2: these things before.

540
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 3: Recently, yes, yes all, right so thank you all for

541
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 3: listening to. Us please check this out every day Through.

542
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 3: Sunday we'll be on top of. Everything Love, ISLAND, usa

543
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 3: and how you can use it in your own.

544
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 4: Life