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Speaker 1: In this week's episode of the Professional Homegirl podcast, get

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Speaker 1: ready to dive deep into the roller coaster ride of

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Speaker 1: having a parent battling drug addiction. My incredible guest is

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Speaker 1: here to open up and share the nitty greedy details

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Speaker 1: of how it truly impacts not only just her, but

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Speaker 1: her entire family. In addition, we'll also explore how she

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Speaker 1: manages to keep her head held high during the challenges.

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Speaker 1: In this episode, we aim to provide a powerful reminder

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Speaker 1: to all of our listeners that they are not alone

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Speaker 1: in their journey of having a parent who is dealing

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Speaker 1: with addiction. So to my guests, how you doing, how

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Speaker 1: you feeling? You look nervous.

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Speaker 2: I know, like that's so weird, but I'm like, good,

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Speaker 2: thank you for having me.

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Speaker 1: Of course, of course, you know all is cute, you know.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being a guest on the show. Again.

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Speaker 1: When I first started, y'all, she was like one of

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Speaker 1: my very first guests. So thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: coming back and sharing this story. For I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 1: you can attest to the show's growth.

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Speaker 2: Oh. Absolutely, you out here doing the Lord's work.

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Speaker 1: The Lord's work. Come on now now. Prior to this conversation.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever shared or discussed your mother's drug addiction before?

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Speaker 2: No, Probably one of my closest friends knows about it,

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Speaker 2: but that's not really something that I openly speak out about.

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Speaker 1: Are you embarrassed about it or Shane.

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Speaker 2: I'm embarrassed. I just think, you know, sometimes I'm learning

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Speaker 2: to be very careful about what I tell people, especially

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Speaker 2: with things like addiction, because I feel like people can

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Speaker 2: use it as a weapon against you or your family.

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Speaker 2: So I just I just don't really speak on it.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: That's so funny because my next question is, are there

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Speaker 1: any misconceptions or stigmas about addiction that you wish people

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Speaker 1: would understand?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just from like the outside looking in

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Speaker 2: and like just watching someone who has an addiction, it

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Speaker 2: really is a sickness, which, you know, me seeing it

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Speaker 2: is different because I remember prior to all this, when

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Speaker 2: I was younger. You know, you're in like health class

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Speaker 2: and you're learning about like drugs and all this stuff,

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Speaker 2: and at that time, I was very you know, ignorant

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Speaker 2: to what addiction is. And at first I thought it

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Speaker 2: was just like, oh, you know, like you know, if

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Speaker 2: someone really wanted to stop doing something, they would and

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Speaker 2: I just had all these like negative thoughts surrounding it, right.

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Speaker 1: I think we all did until if it came close

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Speaker 1: to home exactly.

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Speaker 2: So now that I'm actually seeing it, it's, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's a sickness, and it's really really hard for someone

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Speaker 2: to you know, kick whatever addiction that they have. Right.

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Speaker 1: Do you know anyone else who has struggled with drug

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Speaker 1: addiction before in the past, or is this your first

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Speaker 1: personal experience with it?

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Speaker 2: I would say, I'm not sure he was really addicted

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Speaker 2: to it or not. But I've had a partner who

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Speaker 2: felt like he cannot function and if he didn't smoke weed.

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Speaker 1: I don't thinking his nigga was doing crack all.

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Speaker 3: But you know what, yeah, yeah, it's still a substance

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Speaker 3: that like he relies on to get through his day.

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Speaker 3: And I remember like if he like ran out of

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Speaker 3: butt and he couldn't get like, he would be like

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Speaker 3: really aggressive.

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Speaker 2: And like mean, I'm like bro true, so girl, never

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Speaker 2: never again. But you know that situation compared to you know,

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Speaker 2: this one, It's it's very different.

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Speaker 1: Right now, how long has your mom been been addicted

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Speaker 1: to drugs?

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Speaker 2: I would say, well, from the point that I know

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Speaker 2: about it, I had to be like at the thirteen

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Speaker 2: or fourteen.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, And how long do you think it hasn't

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Speaker 1: been longer than that? Because what's that almost fifteen years?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I would say about fifteen years.

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Speaker 1: And do you know what type of drugs does she

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Speaker 1: do or? To my knowledge, it's heron Oh wow? So

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Speaker 1: how have you been coping with the challenges that come

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Speaker 1: with having her being addicted to this? Because I think

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Speaker 1: for me, like I've been very open about my father

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Speaker 1: being addicted to drugs, but I just met my father

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Speaker 1: and technically I didn't really meet him as of yet,

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Speaker 1: but you know, he came into my life and it

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Speaker 1: was disclosed to me that he's been baling drugs for

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Speaker 1: almost three decades. So I can only imagine how difficult

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Speaker 1: it is for you because you actually have a relationship

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Speaker 1: with your mom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's definitely been a battle. Like when

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Speaker 2: I first found out, like I was, you know, I

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Speaker 2: had all the emotions, like I was sad, I was angry,

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Speaker 2: I was you know, just feeling everything Like I just

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Speaker 2: kind of felt like, you know, how could she do that?

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Speaker 2: You know, she's so selfish because she has kids that

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Speaker 2: she has to take care of. My news is like

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Speaker 2: me fourteen, just you know, finding out?

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Speaker 1: How did you find out?

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Speaker 2: I was at my brother's basketball tournament game and my

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Speaker 2: dad he came up to me. I think my grandmother

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Speaker 2: was on the phone and he was just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: like he was talking to my grandmother. Then he was

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Speaker 2: just like, oh, you know, just so you know, like

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Speaker 2: your mother has been missing for a couple of days

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Speaker 2: and they couldn't find her. And then when they did,

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Speaker 2: I think she was like in some type of like

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Speaker 2: I don't know, crackhouse or something like that, and that

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Speaker 2: they had put my mom into rehab. And at that time,

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Speaker 2: like my little sisters were still young, so they were

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Speaker 2: living under her. So they're just like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 2: your sisters have stuff with your grandmother. It was like

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Speaker 2: a big thing. And that's when I was like so

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Speaker 2: upset because my sisters they were still under my mom's

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Speaker 2: care and custody. So you know, that was just like

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Speaker 2: super upsetting to me during that time.

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Speaker 1: M this is hard for you, And this is one

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Speaker 1: of my close friends, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well you know it's crazy because you know, to

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Speaker 2: your point, like I've never really like spoken about it

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Speaker 2: in detail, like you know, with my roommate I'll joke about.

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Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh yeah, my mom's like a crackheads

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Speaker 2: and she'd be like, stop, you can't say But I

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Speaker 2: say it jokingly because I feel like that's how I

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Speaker 2: get over you know, hard things. It's like you know,

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Speaker 2: a comedy, right. So, so yeah, like when I was

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Speaker 2: in middle school and so high school was really tough.

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Speaker 2: And I actually, you know, just thinking back on it

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Speaker 2: now because I have been thinking about this recently, Like

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Speaker 2: I think it was a reason for like a lot

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Speaker 2: of my like depressive episodes, because like you know, when

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Speaker 2: you're in high school, like you're already you know, coming

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Speaker 2: up age, so you have like all these hormones as

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Speaker 2: a young woman that you're.

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Speaker 1: Battling and discovering yourself, right.

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Speaker 2: And then for me going through this, I just remember

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Speaker 2: I was very very emotional a lot, like I would

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Speaker 2: just start crying for no reason. I was super sad.

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Speaker 2: I felt like I had anxiety, Like I was always

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Speaker 2: nervous about something. M So that was happening to me

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Speaker 2: like middle school and high school. And then as I

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Speaker 2: got older, you know, I was able to deal with

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Speaker 2: it more. And then there was like a period where

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Speaker 2: I just cut communication with her because I was just

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Speaker 2: over it, and then fast forwarding to now, I'm a

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Speaker 2: little bit more understanding and I'm just trying to be

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Speaker 2: there for her as best as I can.

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Speaker 1: Right, No two questions, I'm be saying cracke too right?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Why are we both started?

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Speaker 2: Lisa? Wait?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, we both got parents. There's crack kids, right.

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Speaker 1: But does that bother you when people say that?

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Speaker 2: Though?

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Speaker 1: Because I know you would never say that to your mother,

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Speaker 1: and I know you would never say that around other

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Speaker 1: people that know your mother, and I wouldn't even though

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Speaker 1: I don't have a relationship with this nigga, I would

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Speaker 1: never be disrespectful and say that to him or around

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Speaker 1: people that know him. So it doesn't bother you.

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Speaker 2: No, it doesn't. I don't know, like I feel like, no,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Right. And then the second question that I just thought

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Speaker 1: about was do you think your dad could have handled

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Speaker 1: it a little bit differently when it came to telling you.

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Speaker 2: My dads are very He's he's a straight shooter, Like,

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Speaker 2: he doesn't coddle, he doesn't beat around the bush or

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Speaker 2: sugarcoat anything. And he's just gonna tell you as it is, right,

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Speaker 2: So and he's always been like that with me, Like

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Speaker 2: I know, when we were younger. So, like I said,

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Speaker 2: my parents got divorced when I was younger. I just

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Speaker 2: remember my dad telling me all these things about my

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Speaker 2: mom that were so negative. And for the longest time,

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Speaker 2: I always thought, like, yo, why is he being a hater?

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Speaker 2: Like that's my mom.

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Speaker 1: Right respectfully for real.

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Speaker 2: But you know, he would always tell me like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know whatever, you don't believe me, she's your mother family,

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Speaker 2: he was like, and like he would always tell me.

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Speaker 2: He was be like, you know what, I'm gonna let

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Speaker 2: you see it for yourself. And I did eventually, And

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Speaker 2: you know, not to say that my mom's a bad person,

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Speaker 2: but she's just you know, dealing with her demons. I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, Like sometimes I think like she just

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Speaker 2: never like grew up, and that makes me, Yeah, it

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Speaker 2: makes me, you know. So what was you was always

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Speaker 2: just straightforward?

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Speaker 1: What was your relationship like with your mother before you

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Speaker 1: found out? Like did you notice anything or did you

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Speaker 1: have a good relationship?

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Speaker 2: No, we always had a good relationship. I my dad

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Speaker 2: too liked me to visit her on the weekends. I mean,

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Speaker 2: she was always like, you know, she you know, she

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Speaker 2: would like smoke cigarettes and drink and I remember one time,

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Speaker 2: like excuse me, that her cousin came over and like

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Speaker 2: they smoked weed in like the bedroom and they had

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Speaker 2: like closed the door or something things like that.

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Speaker 1: But it was.

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Speaker 2: Listen cool, She's super cool, you know, mm hmm. But no,

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Speaker 2: like in early childhood, I never noticed that she like

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Speaker 2: had a habit.

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Speaker 1: So y'all you had a pretty good relationship with her then, yeah, yeah, mmm,

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Speaker 1: So in what ways did your mother's addiction impacted dynamics

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Speaker 1: and their interactions within your relationship? Like do you feel

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Speaker 1: like once you found out, things just like totally shifted

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Speaker 1: And did she know that you knew at fourteen?

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Speaker 2: I don't. And you know what, that was something I

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Speaker 2: was thinking about because I feel like she knows that

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Speaker 2: we know, and we know we know that she has addiction,

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Speaker 2: but we don't I think so. But it's crazy because

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Speaker 2: like we don't speak about it to each other, you know,

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Speaker 2: like meaning like she won't talk to me about her

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Speaker 2: addiction and I won't talk to her about her addiction.

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Speaker 2: It's always like something that we just like talk around.

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Speaker 1: But how is it possible.

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Speaker 2: We just don't mention it. I don't know, Like she'll

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Speaker 2: be like, oh, yeah, I went to the spot. That's

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Speaker 2: what they call, like the spot where like the drug dealers,

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Speaker 2: you know, deal and she'll be like, oh yeah, I

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Speaker 2: went to the spot and this, this and that, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, hold on, holdo, almost said Jenne.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 1: First of all, ye'all her mother lives in a different country.

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Speaker 1: So and so in Puerto Rico, they call in the

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Speaker 1: trap house, spats.

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Speaker 2: Spot a spot spot, Yeah s pot, Like I'm going

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Speaker 2: to the spot.

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Speaker 1: Oh I thought you said it's a bitially you're gonna

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Speaker 1: fall it.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, wait what no, no.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So she'll tell you that she's going to the

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Speaker 1: spot and what.

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Speaker 2: Like, I don't know, it's just hard to explain. Like

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Speaker 2: she'll just you know, talk about, oh yeah, I'm going

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Speaker 2: with my friends here we're going you know, she'll just

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Speaker 2: name like random, Oh I'm hanging out with my friend.

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Speaker 2: But we all knew that, like it was like her

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Speaker 2: drug friend. So either she was about to cop or

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Speaker 2: she was about to get high. Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: So at this point she's pretty functional.

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Speaker 2: Yeah she is.

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Speaker 1: M I feel like that's how my the man who

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Speaker 1: gave me birth. He's very functional. I feel like at

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Speaker 1: this point he needs it because you know, after a

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Speaker 1: certain period of time, if you try to detox, that

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Speaker 1: can hurt you worse than you actually being on it, unfortunately.

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Speaker 1: M And did you have you noticed any changes in

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Speaker 1: her appearance or her demeanor?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, so I remember when you're going to Puerto

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Speaker 2: Rico to visit her, and she just looked so thin,

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Speaker 2: like she had to weigh like ninety five pounds. Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, it was very right thin. She had teeth missing. Yeah,

250
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Speaker 2: it was kind of it was scary.

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Speaker 1: How did it make you feel or did you say something?

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Speaker 2: It was saddening. I didn't say anything to her, but

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Speaker 2: you know, my little sister who you know, was living

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Speaker 2: with her through all this, like we had talked about

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Speaker 2: it and since it was just like, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 2: this is what she does. And I mean, I feel

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Speaker 2: like my sister right now, she's just like over it, right,

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Speaker 2: you know, like nothing surprises her anymore. Like she you know,

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Speaker 2: she's not going out of her way to like try

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Speaker 2: to stop my mom or try to get her help.

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Speaker 2: She was just like she's gonna do what she wants

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Speaker 2: to do because she was already in rehab once before

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Speaker 2: she realized she realized, she realised she was there, she

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Speaker 2: found like her partner.

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Speaker 1: Yo, that's a real thing that a lot of people

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Speaker 1: they get back in drugs while they didn't rehab because

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Speaker 1: people actually act like they addicted. Then they go there

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Speaker 1: to make more money and sell and get people hook again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So she was there, she got out, she met

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Speaker 2: like this woman who became a partner, and then.

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Speaker 1: Her partner like and her girlfriend mm hmm okay, and

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Speaker 1: then like they are just both on it. Wow, that's

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Speaker 1: only my next question. How has your mother's drug addiction

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Speaker 1: affected your family dynamics and the relationships with other family members?

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Speaker 2: I mean, like I said, like, I feel like everyone's

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Speaker 2: kind of not that they gave up on her, but

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Speaker 2: I feel like they've just washed their hands of her

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Speaker 2: because they've already tried.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that's right at some point?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you can lead a horse to water, but

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Speaker 2: you can't force her to drink. Like, how many times

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna put you in rehab or you know, help

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Speaker 2: you out when you're down, give you money? Like how

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Speaker 2: many times do you expect someone to do that? Right?

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Speaker 2: So you know, obviously like, you know, my sister and

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Speaker 2: my grandmother like they love her, but when my mom,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, they've just kind of just like she's

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Speaker 2: gonna do what she wants to do.

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Speaker 1: So, right, how many kids does she have?

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Speaker 2: Four?

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm okay, yeah. Do you know what led her

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Speaker 1: to be on this path? Like did something happen to

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Speaker 1: her or it's crazy?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, because when she was living in New York.

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Speaker 1: Oh, so she was in New York before.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my mother is from Brooklyn, so oh wow. Yeah,

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00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,000
Speaker 2: she was born in New York, lived in Brooklyn, and

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Speaker 2: she went to live in Puerto Rico as a result

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Speaker 2: of like her current boyfriend at the time. She was

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Speaker 2: like finding away from him, and my dad was the

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Speaker 2: one who actually like took her to the airport and stuff.

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Speaker 2: So but I honestly, I don't know. Like one minute

303
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Speaker 2: she was cool, she was in New York, next minute

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Speaker 2: she's in Puerto Rico. And I just hear about being

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Speaker 2: off drugs.

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Speaker 1: Right, Besides your sister, how do you think your other

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Speaker 1: siblings feel.

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Speaker 2: I think it's the same. I think they're all over it,

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Speaker 2: like they don't pay it online.

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Speaker 1: You know, I definitely understand because I feel like. So,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you read it or not, but

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Speaker 1: in the newest love letter that I wrote, it's about

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Speaker 1: my father and it just talks about, you know, like

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Speaker 1: my experience with him. And then you know, I always

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Speaker 1: had like this really like deep empathy for those who

316
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Speaker 1: have always struggled with drugs. And when I used to

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Speaker 1: be a little kid, like I used to like walk

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Speaker 1: up to crackheads and like try to give him money

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Speaker 1: or like I used to feel so bad for them,

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Speaker 1: and you know, now realizing later on when I met

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Speaker 1: my father, like you know, you know, he's a crackhead.

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Speaker 1: So I can see where that sense of connection come from.

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Speaker 1: And fast forward to now, you know, I talk to

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Speaker 1: some of his side of the family and stuff, and

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Speaker 1: I just be like, damn, like like you could, you know,

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Speaker 1: when the family is so frustrated, but it's just like

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Speaker 1: a little piece them just don't want to give up.

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Speaker 1: But it's just like at this point, we thirty years in,

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Speaker 1: like what do we do?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? No, yeah, for sure. Like I was talking to

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Speaker 2: my sister about it the other day because you know,

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Speaker 2: my mom is currently going through something like some guy

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Speaker 2: that you know she used to know and do drugs

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Speaker 2: with like he's just been calling her. Mind you, Like,

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Speaker 2: my mom has tried to, you know, lead a better

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Speaker 2: way of life, like she moved from the projects that

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Speaker 2: she was in unto mind you, it's another project, but

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Speaker 2: it's like nicer.

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Speaker 1: Is there really projects in Puerto Rico? Yeah? Yeah, at

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Speaker 1: the beach Like.

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Speaker 2: No, it's I mean it's different from what you were

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Speaker 2: seeing in New York, but you can just tell because

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Speaker 2: it's like, you know, it's like a bunch of buildings

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Speaker 2: close together, people hanging out right outside, you know, some

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Speaker 2: of the differents. No, but yeah, she is, and she's

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00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 2: trying to get better. But you know, and I was

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00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 2: talking to her last night and I told her, I

348
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 2: was like, you know, you can't expect yourself to have

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00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 2: a better lifestyle if you're still hanging out with the

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00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,919
Speaker 2: same people. So you know, she's going through something with

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Speaker 2: this guy that like he won't leave her alone and

352
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,399
Speaker 2: he's calling her, and mind you, my mom has mental

353
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,920
Speaker 2: health issues on top of the addiction, really, and she's

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Speaker 2: been off her medication for a couple of months so

355
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Speaker 2: now and for her, she had like you know, she

356
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 2: hears voices in her head. She gets very paranoid.

357
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Speaker 1: So if she excisophrenia or bipolar or.

358
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Speaker 2: You know, I would have thought it was a schizophrenia,

359
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 2: but in Puerto Rico they call it psychosis. Honestly, it

360
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 2: is something I would say along the line with like schizophrenia,

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Speaker 2: because like she's always like, oh, like I hear people

362
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,399
Speaker 2: and you know, in her mind, and she's like, you know,

363
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 2: they tell me bad things. So she was on medication

364
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 2: for a while and then she stopped, and like, now

365
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 2: she's having this issue. And I just remember, like for

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Speaker 2: a couple of days straight, she was just calling me

367
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:04,159
Speaker 2: every day talking about, oh, this guy she's talking about me.

368
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 2: He's saying bad things about me, that his cousin's gonna

369
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 2: come pick me up and all this stuff, which was

370
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 2: alarming to me because you know, obviously, like I want

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Speaker 2: my mom to be safe and feel safe. And there

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00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 2: was a couple of days where like she didn't even

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00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 2: go home because she was afraid, you know. So I

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00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 2: remember just talking to my sister and I was just like,

375
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like should I fly her out to

376
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Speaker 2: New York for a week because she could stay with

377
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 2: me or put her in the hotel. And my sister

378
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,359
Speaker 2: was just like, you can do it if you want to,

379
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,239
Speaker 2: But she was just like, this is something that she

380
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,160
Speaker 2: needs to like figure out on her own.

381
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Speaker 1: You know, Damn, have you spent a lot of money

382
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 1: trying to help her or.

383
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,880
Speaker 2: I learned my lesson one time not to give her money.

384
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 2: And she told me this story about how she got

385
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 2: robbed at like a gas station and they took like

386
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 2: three hundred dollars from her. How she got to think

387
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 2: how I'm saying, I'm like, what do you mean, how do.

388
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: You go you got because you wasn't.

389
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 2: I was just like, but you know, like I said,

390
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 2: I was very very close to mine, like I have

391
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 2: such a soft spot from my mom. No. So yeah,

392
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 2: So I just remember her calling me, like asking for money.

393
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 2: Mind you. I hear her partner in the background, the.

394
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 1: Girl yeah go whatever.

395
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: And Okay, So I'm gonna tell you this whole story.

396
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 2: So basically, I was on a date right and she

397
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 2: calls me, and I felt so bad because I thought

398
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 2: it was gonna be a quick call, but I ended

399
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,400
Speaker 2: up being on the phone with her all throughout the date,

400
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 2: trying to like yeah, yeah, me and my boyfriend at

401
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 2: the time, many years ago, I was on the phone

402
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,199
Speaker 2: with her trying to like wire money through Western Union

403
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 2: like all this stuff. I was pissed at anag lived.

404
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 1: But when you found out she was laying.

405
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 2: The next day because she called me so mind you

406
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 2: during the call initially like she just sounded so frantic, like,

407
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: oh I need money because you know, X, Y and

408
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,879
Speaker 2: Z whatever whatever. The next day she calls me and

409
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 2: she's like she sounds so mellow, so chill.

410
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,360
Speaker 1: I think she was high on Yeah, I might say

411
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:30,400
Speaker 1: she got that good rock.

412
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: Baby. She's like, oh, sweetie, thank you so much. And

413
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 2: I was just like, oh my god, may be sure high.

414
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,439
Speaker 2: And I remember calling my dad and telling him and

415
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 2: he was just like, I told you, did you? I

416
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 2: didn't cry. But that's when I stopped talking to her,

417
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 2: Like I stopped taking calls from her for a couple

418
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 2: of months.

419
00:22:55,080 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 1: So she she gone, yeah that she's yeah, that's that's fun.

420
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 2: That. So that's why I was like husitan about, you know,

421
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 2: flying her to New York because whatever she gets into

422
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 2: Puerto Rico exactly. So I'm like, I don't even think

423
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 2: that's that's gonna work.

424
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gonna be ten times worse here.

425
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I said, you know what, I'm gonna let

426
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 2: her figure this out, and you know, we'll just take

427
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 2: it from there.

428
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 1: So have you talked to her about like getting treatment

429
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 1: or support recently or is that still a challenge.

430
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 2: I haven't talked to her about it because I've never like,

431
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: I've never fully addressed it with her, Like I've never said, mom,

432
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 2: like I know that you're on drugs and you know,

433
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 2: I would like for you to get better, right, I've

434
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 2: never said that. I don't know. I you know what,

435
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 2: I don't like uncomfortable conversations, especially with family, right, So

436
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,479
Speaker 2: I just never I never did end. You know, for

437
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 2: a while, I thought she was getting better, Like she

438
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 2: gained her weight back, you know, she was able to

439
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 2: find a job, She got her own car like I

440
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 2: said earlier, like she had moved. Oh, so I thought

441
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: she was in a better space.

442
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 1: And then what.

443
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 2: Happened, Like I said, she keeps hanging around with the

444
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 2: same people. So I really feel like she's just I

445
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: don't know, she needs new friends right now.

446
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 1: Do you think if you was to ever have that

447
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: conversation with her, she'll be honest.

448
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 2: I think she'll be honest, but I think she'll kind

449
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 2: of like play it off as if it's like not

450
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 2: serious or as if like she's not using as much

451
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 2: as she used to or at all.

452
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: I feel like when I first met my father through

453
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 1: in twenty eleven, he was not he did not mention

454
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 1: it at all. Yeah, I feel like fast forward now

455
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: now I don't. He hasn't mentioned it, but he walks

456
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: around it like we know what we're talking about. And

457
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 1: I think the only reason why is because I think

458
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: he's getting older and I think he needs to start

459
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: righting his wrongs.

460
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 2: M hm.

461
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 1: So, and I also think that his health is declining.

462
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 1: So I think that, you know, in me being his

463
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: quote unquote only child, I think that he's like I

464
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: think he's trying to say it, but he just can't

465
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: say it.

466
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's hard to like, you know, talk

467
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 2: about things like that. Yeah.

468
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: How concerned are you about your mother's safety?

469
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 2: I'm very concerned, just because you know, she lives alone,

470
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 2: and you know, she already disclosed to me that she

471
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 2: got beat up once, so you know, and this is

472
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 2: like a man that we're talking about. We're not talking

473
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 2: about like some other woman, right, you know, want to

474
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 2: pick things with her. So I'm very concerned. But I'm

475
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 2: just not sure. I think I'm just being like really

476
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 2: careful because I don't want to spend all this money

477
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 2: and you know, put her in a hotel for a

478
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 2: week or like try to help her if she's just

479
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 2: gonna go back to what she's used to, which I

480
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:27,120
Speaker 2: feel like she will. I mean, I'm concerned, but honestly,

481
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 2: I think I think she'll be fine. Mhm.

482
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 1: And you don't feel comfortable with her staying with you,

483
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: Like if she wanted to come out and like just

484
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 1: get away, I would be.

485
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 2: But that means I would have to babysitter, Like it

486
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 2: couldn't be. No, she comes out, all she stays in

487
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: my apartment and I can be comfortable and heading to

488
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 2: work and coming back knowing that she's still going to

489
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 2: be in the apartment.

490
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 1: Bitch, if you come home and your shit is gone,

491
00:26:58,720 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 1: I don't think.

492
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: She looks still for me. But I think she just

493
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 2: want to be outside, Like I think she's gonna, like,

494
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: you know, want to walk around, find out, you know,

495
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 2: what's happening.

496
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: And you'll fight your mom if you came home your

497
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: ship was gone.

498
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 2: Nah, I don't think i'd be ta well, you know what,

499
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 2: I would be tight because you know, a roommate. Yeah,

500
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be mad if my stuff was gone, but

501
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: if my roommates stuff was gone, No.

502
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: You have your roommates trying to fight your mom.

503
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 2: Like I would just be like, yeah, damn, my mom

504
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 2: is like never stolen, So I wouldn't be worried about how.

505
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 1: She getting money?

506
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 2: Now, well she, I mean she had a job. M hm.

507
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: M because drums is not drunks is not cheap.

508
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 2: No, they're not.

509
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: So how do you chang that is a great How

510
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,439
Speaker 1: do you think she get drugs?

511
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 2: Because I've never like really questioned it, like, well, you know,

512
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 2: for a while she was working. She just recently stopped.

513
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: Working because a drug habit as expensive. Child. Yeah, I

514
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: can't believe you never thought about that.

515
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 2: No, Well because again, like for the longest time, like

516
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 2: she was working, she had a job, just until like

517
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: I would say, two weeks ago.

518
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: Right, what did your grandma say about all this?

519
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 2: My grandmother has bigar things to worry about, honestly, Like

520
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 2: she has breast cancer that she's battling, so.

521
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: I think she could care.

522
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just like you know whatever, Like she'll let

523
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: my mom stay open and spend the night, which is

524
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 2: what she has been for the past couple of days.

525
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: But eventually my grandmother was just like, when you're going home? Literally,

526
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 2: she's like, oh, you're going home today or right? So yeah,

527
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 2: I don't think not to say like she doesn't care.

528
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 2: But like I said, my grandmother she's you know, she's

529
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 2: baling cancer right now. So she's just like, if you

530
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 2: want to, you know, stay for the day, stay for

531
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 2: the night, fine, but you're not going to be here every.

532
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: Day, right damn. So have you ever experienced a moment

533
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: of fear or concern where you doubt some nothing may

534
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: have happened to her?

535
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. No, not recently, only because my mom has

536
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: been calling me every single day.

537
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. What about in the past.

538
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 2: No, okay, and that's only because, like I know, she

539
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 2: has family out there and my sister she keeps me

540
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: updated with everything, so right, I kind of just felt like, oh,

541
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: she's in good hands kind of right.

542
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: How has this been affecting your mental health or just

543
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: your overall emotional well being?

544
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 2: It's tiring, mm because you know, I have my own

545
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 2: life too, and there are things that like, you know,

546
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 2: I want to accomplish and just do, just like daily stuff.

547
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 2: So just knowing that, Like, you know, she calls me recently,

548
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 2: you know, it's been because of this issue that she's

549
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: been having, So like I just know that, you know,

550
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to be on the phone with her for hours.

551
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 2: She's not going to want to get off the phone.

552
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 2: She's going to be repeating herself and like fencing and

553
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 2: you know, talking about this issue that she has with

554
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 2: this guy. And I just feel like I've been like

555
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 2: super repetitive on what I've been telling her, and like

556
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 2: she doesn't.

557
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: Listen, so she's not coherent.

558
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 2: She's coherent, but you know, my mom is very like emotional,

559
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 2: and she like winds herself up about things, just like

560
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 2: with this situation that she's going through. It's just like

561
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 2: it's like the same story, like over and over again.

562
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 2: And I keep telling her, you know, trying to tell

563
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: like ma, like you know, if he's calling you from

564
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 2: different numbers, why are you picking up the phone? Right?

565
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 2: And she'll still pick up the polle and she'll be like, oh,

566
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 2: I thought it was so much. I'm like why I

567
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: told you? If it's someone important that to leave a message.

568
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: Right, why You've got a lot of patience.

569
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 2: Thank you? Yeah, But I mean it's it's only that really,

570
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 2: it's just like the phone because and then like last

571
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 2: night I got her room, like what six thirty seven,

572
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: She had me on the phone almost like past ten.

573
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: So what else she be talking about? Just the same

574
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: thing over and over.

575
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 2: You Well, last night was different. She just wanted a

576
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 2: company because she was home and she hadn't been home.

577
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 2: She was just scared, and like I said, she lives

578
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 2: by herself, so she just kind of wanted a company,

579
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 2: you know. At first, like we just caught up, like

580
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 2: we talked about her day and things like that. But

581
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 2: then after a while it was just like a lot

582
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 2: of silence and just her checking in to see if

583
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 2: I was just still there and stuff.

584
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's a lot.

585
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can be, but you know, like I'm not

586
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not doing anything else, Like I'm not

587
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 2: financially supporting her. I'm not flying back and forth to

588
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 2: you know. Sure she's good. So I feel like my

589
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 2: time is the least that I can give her if

590
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 2: that gets some sort of comfort.

591
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: Right, mm hmm. That made me happy. How do you

592
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 1: maintain boundaries and take care of yourself while supporting your mother.

593
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 2: If she's calling and I don't have the energy. I

594
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 2: just don't pick up. Honestely, that's so real. Yeah, because yes,

595
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: I did just say that. You know, my find is

596
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 2: all I can give her. But if I am physically

597
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 2: and mentally, I'm sorry, like you can't have that.

598
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: Do you feel bad when you don't pick up?

599
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 2: No? But I will say, like if I don't pick up,

600
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 2: I text her and I'll be like, hey, I don't know,

601
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: I'll like fib and I'll be like, oh, I'm out

602
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,719
Speaker 2: with friends or I'm doing something right, and I'll be like,

603
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 2: you know, I'll talk to you later. But that's about

604
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 2: it because you know, again, she's in Puerto Rican and

605
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: I'm in New York, so it's very easy to establish

606
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 2: like that sort of boundary, like you can't have access

607
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: to me, so right.

608
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: So do you feel like because your mother she has

609
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 1: an addiction, do you feel like it runs through the

610
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 1: family or like, have you ever noticed that you became

611
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: addictive to certain things yourself?

612
00:33:54,920 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, in some ways, I wouldn't say I'm prone to cerse,

613
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 2: but I definitely noticed that I can develop a dependency

614
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 2: on a substance. So for instance, like just dealing with alcohol.

615
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 2: My father he never kept liquor in the house, So

616
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 2: I didn't grow up with that around me, right, But

617
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,399
Speaker 2: when I had moved out and I kind of had

618
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 2: like more of a social life and I was drinking more,

619
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 2: I realized that I relied on alcohol a lot to

620
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 2: make me more social, you know, to deal with bad days,

621
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 2: to deal with good days. And you in my apartment

622
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 2: have a bar card, so whenever, like we brought liquor

623
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 2: to you know, to just have it, would never say

624
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 2: because we always drink it. So I had realized that,

625
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: you know, I was becoming a little bit too dependent

626
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 2: on alcohol. So you know, we stopped buying liquor to

627
00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 2: having a house unless we're like hosting, you know, guess

628
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 2: or anything like that, and.

629
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 1: Oh be sure just with your roommate, yeah, oh wow, Yeah.

630
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,919
Speaker 2: So yeah, we were both like, oh, you know, we're

631
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,439
Speaker 2: trying not to drink so often and keep it more

632
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: social outings and celebrations. So for me personally, you know,

633
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 2: I don't buy liquor to keep in the house anymore.

634
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 2: And then even when I go out, I'm just trying

635
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 2: to be more cognizant of like how many drinks I'm having,

636
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 2: because you know, I feel like I'm in integram. I'm

637
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 2: very very shy, so in social settings, I can be

638
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 2: very awkward. And I realized that I rely I'm like

639
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 2: a lot just to help me get loose and comfortable,

640
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 2: but because I'm relying on it, like I find myself

641
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 2: like where I would drink too much and then I

642
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 2: get like too comfortable with people, and then like the

643
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,439
Speaker 2: next day, I'm like regretting things because I'm like, damn,

644
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 2: I never should have said that, or you know, just

645
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 2: made like really dumb mistakes. So yeah, to answer your question,

646
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, addiction is her hereditary. I'm

647
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 2: not like addicted to alcahol per se. It's not like

648
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: I wake up and I'm like, oh my god, I

649
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 2: need a drink, right, you know, I'm trying to like

650
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: cope with things in other ways. So like before, like

651
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 2: if I had like abrupt aup, like oh my god,

652
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 2: I need a drink, and I would go get like

653
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 2: two three drinks, right, So now I'm trying to just

654
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 2: find other ways to just cope with Like, you know, if.

655
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:40,399
Speaker 1: I have a bad moment right right, That's how I am.

656
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: I definitely feel like addiction is hereditary because you know,

657
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,720
Speaker 1: my mother, she's an alcoholic. My father he's addicted to drugs.

658
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 1: And when I used to be in college, I used

659
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: to drink a lot, obviously going to HBCU and just

660
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 1: you know, just partying stuff, and it would get to

661
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: a point that sometimes I would like not like black out, blackout,

662
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 1: but I damn never be at that point. And like

663
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: even now, like you know, when we go out, like

664
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: you can you can agree to this, Like I don't

665
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: really drink like that. I don't drink at all. Like

666
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 1: for me to drink, I like, yeah, for me to drink,

667
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 1: I have to be like having a really rough day

668
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: like no, am, I'm lying no, no, for real, No,

669
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 1: I have to be like I got to be on

670
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: the brink of tears, like.

671
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 2: Or even what I mean honestly, That's why I be

672
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 2: a little surprised. And sometimes like like if you ask me, like, oh,

673
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 2: do you want to go out for a drink, that's

674
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 2: when I know, like, okay, she's like you know, she's

675
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 2: at her wits end and she needs something to take

676
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 2: that job. That's not even often like as far as

677
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 2: long as I've known you, you've only done that.

678
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 1: Twice, right, Like you can cut on one hand how

679
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: many times I'm like going.

680
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 2: Out no exactly.

681
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: Even for her birthday, we had went out and like

682
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: I was already at the bar, so I got me

683
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: a drink. I think I had like one drink or

684
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: maybe like yeah, one and then like even when we

685
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 1: sat down at the dinner table or whatever, and I

686
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: had enough drink. But for the most part, I'm drinking

687
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 1: water and ginger all.

688
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm trying to get like you. Like I said,

689
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 2: I just want to be at a point where I

690
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 2: can be like, oh, I'm going out for a drink, right,

691
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 2: and it's like one right, But I'm someone like if

692
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:23,839
Speaker 2: I feel good at like.

693
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:28,760
Speaker 1: She'd be drinking y'all, my girl be lit.

694
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 2: Listen.

695
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 1: I feel like I've gotten better.

696
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 2: Like I said, I don't drink in the house anymore,

697
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 2: and if I do, it's like social.

698
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: Did something happen before while you were drinking or.

699
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 2: What do you mean, like as far as like why started.

700
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: Drinking, or just like just in general, like did you

701
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: notice something about yourself when you were drinking? Or did

702
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: did you experience something that made you want to like

703
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 1: just slow down?

704
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 2: Overall, I just feel like I just made a lot

705
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 2: of like dumb stupid mistakes, specially like surrounding men. Yeah, no,

706
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: I would go text that X or text someone that

707
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be texting, or like linking up with people

708
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be linking up with them. And not only that,

709
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 2: it was just like the way that I felt the

710
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,399
Speaker 2: next morning, like I felt like crap, Like who wants

711
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 2: to wake up with the headache stomach issues? Like you

712
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 2: feel me? And that was another thing, like I just

713
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 2: felt like my brain wasn't sharp, like I couldn't. I

714
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:29,919
Speaker 2: don't know, I can't explain it, but I just felt

715
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,280
Speaker 2: like I was living in a fog.

716
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like that feeling. Listen. We went out

717
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: and we ended up getting free shots, and the next

718
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 1: day I felt horrible.

719
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:44,399
Speaker 2: Honestly I felt bad because I was just like, I.

720
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 1: Mean, I ain't turned down the best of the tequila,

721
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: but I was just like, oh my god, I felt

722
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 1: so horrible.

723
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, I don't like so you know, and

724
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 2: for me it's like, you know, I don't know. I

725
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 2: just I feel like I got to a point where

726
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 2: I was like, all right, well, how many times am

727
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: I going to keep like doing this? I'm like drinking

728
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:11,320
Speaker 2: a couple of times a week, I'm making up hungover even.

729
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 1: You, Like, I know, I always knew you like to

730
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: drink and like, but not drink like to a point

731
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: where I think you're trying to escape from something. But

732
00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 1: just you go out. You know that's what you do.

733
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 1: You're a social drinker.

734
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, because you know what I feel like, it's something,

735
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 2: it's I think it depends on who I'm around right now. There.

736
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,760
Speaker 2: I feel like there are moments where I was around

737
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 2: people who were enabling me and not to put them

738
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 2: because obviously, like I'm grown and I can make my

739
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 2: own decisions.

740
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 1: But but your friends will do that.

741
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. So if I'm around people that are just like, oh, shots, shots,

742
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 2: and it's like another round of shots, another round of drinks,

743
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 2: and they're like, oh why are you babies, and like

744
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: you feel that pressure to keep going, and.

745
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: I can call out right now.

746
00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 2: Stop it.

747
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 1: I already know who'll be enabling you.

748
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 4: But we aint gonna go there, no share, no tea.

749
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 2: So you know, after a while, I was just like, yo,

750
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 2: I'm tired of this, Like I'm tired of feeling I'm tired.

751
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 2: And I think what really did it for me was

752
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 2: that I did it in front of my manager one time.

753
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember you told me about that night, and

754
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 1: I could tell I really bother you.

755
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 2: It really really bothered me, and I was just like

756
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 2: and that was a moment where I really had to

757
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 2: sit and think and like have a conversation with myself saying,

758
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 2: like why do I feel like I need a drink

759
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 2: all the time in social settings? You know? But I

760
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: know it's because like I'm uncomfortable and like I just

761
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 2: want to feel good? Right, So right, yeah, that's my

762
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 2: own little I wouldn't call it a struggle because it

763
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 2: you know, for me, I'm very like self aware. So

764
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 2: once I realized like, hey, this is an issue, I

765
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 2: fixed it. So I think now I'm in like a

766
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 2: better space with that. Right.

767
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: What are some positive moments of progress that you witness

768
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 1: doing her recovery journey?

769
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the big thing for me was that

770
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 2: she she was able to gain her weight back. So,

771
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 2: like I said in the beginning, like the last time

772
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 2: I saw her, well, most recently, I saw her last year,

773
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 2: and she looked really good. She looked healthy good, you know,

774
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 2: as opposed to being ninety five pounds. So I would

775
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 2: say like two years, two or three years ago. You know,

776
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 2: she was able to have a job at one point,

777
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 2: so she was doing that, like she had her you know,

778
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 2: she got her own car. You know, I felt like,

779
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 2: you know, she was you know, she was on the

780
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 2: come up. She was talking about like going back to

781
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 2: school and she was taking like these little classes here

782
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 2: and there. I was like super happy for her. Yeah,

783
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 2: so I felt like she was, you know, doing better.

784
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 2: But like I said, that relapsed when you you have

785
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 2: like one for night, it just kind of clos downhill

786
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 2: from there. So but I have faith in her, Like,

787
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 2: you know, I do tell her often that, like, you know,

788
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,919
Speaker 2: I'm proud of you, because I you know, I feel

789
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,320
Speaker 2: like sometimes you know, people need to hear that someone

790
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 2: has their back and that they're proud of them. So,

791
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 2: you know, I'll tell her, like, you know, how you're

792
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 2: doing so good. I'm proud of you, and that's really good.

793
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 2: I hope that she takes that into consideration.

794
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

795
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

796
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: For her to be doing hair on that's whoof Yeah,

797
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 1: that's not no easy drug to kick. M So, what

798
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: are your hopes or aspers for your mother's future and

799
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:03,839
Speaker 1: how do you see yourself playing a role in her

800
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 1: recovery journey. If at all, I just.

801
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 2: Want my mom to be in a good space, Like

802
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 2: I just want her to continue doing well, just as

803
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 2: far as like having a job. M hmmm. Honestly, I

804
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 2: just want her to like not be around seeing people

805
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 2: that she was around before. Like if she can just

806
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 2: focus on finding like a new group of people or

807
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 2: just being like with family more, I would love that.

808
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 1: Have you seen these people before? Have you met them before.

809
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: I've never met them before. Mm hmm.

810
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: They're like roaches. They only come out at night. They

811
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: don't never come out and when niggas is outside.

812
00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 2: No. But yeah, and I just you know, I don't

813
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 2: want her to have that, you know, to have that

814
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 2: habit and for her to feel like she needs it.

815
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: M And then as far as just like my role,

816
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 2: and I'm still gonna continue to be there as much

817
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 2: as I can. I make it a point to go

818
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 2: to Puerto Rico every year. It's kind of like my

819
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 2: my check in with the family. Like I go and

820
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 2: I get the gossip and I'm like, all right, who's

821
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 2: miss bathing?

822
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: I gotta go with you.

823
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 3: One year.

824
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 2: You do the girl has met her?

825
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 1: You have to yeah, behay, mommy A lot comes and.

826
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 2: I know she's gonna call you her second daughter as well. Yes, yeah,

827
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 2: she's sweet, but you know, like I said, she's a

828
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 2: good person, but you know, and she has some things

829
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: that she needs handle.

830
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 1: Do you think she's gonna ever get off drugs? It's

831
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: hard to get that monkey off you man.

832
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 2: It's hard. I think maybe if she just didn't do

833
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 2: it so often.

834
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: Do you think she gets hirt a lot?

835
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 2: I don't think she gets hired a lot, honestly. I

836
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 2: think it might be I don't know, maybe once a

837
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 2: week or once every other week. Her birthday was in January,

838
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 2: and I know before that, I don't think she was

839
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 2: doing that. But for her birthday she had gone out

840
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 2: and I remember texting and calling her just to see

841
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 2: how her night went, and she wasn't picking up. So

842
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 2: then I called my sister and I was just like, oh,

843
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,799
Speaker 2: have you heard from mom? And she was just like,

844
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 2: I think she slipped up. Damn yeah, because she was

845
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 2: just like, you know, I was supposed to take her

846
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 2: out for dinner and she didn't.

847
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 1: Like answer, yeah, damn, that's what up?

848
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's hard.

849
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 1: Yeah it is.

850
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 2: You know.

851
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 1: I am interested in having a relationship with my father.

852
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 1: But I only want one if it's gonna be an

853
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 1: a honest one. Yeah, because I feel like through this

854
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 1: whole journey of like us, like quote unquote unquote meeting,

855
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 1: I feel like he is one of the things that

856
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 1: I have learned. He has taught me grace that situation,

857
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 1: amongst other things. So and I feel like, you know,

858
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 1: I feel like he will be honest with me. I

859
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 1: feel like as he gets older and like, I mean,

860
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: some shit you just can't deny, right, especially when it

861
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 1: comes to your children, you know.

862
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.

863
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 1: So at last, but not least, are there any lessons

864
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 1: or insights you have gained from your mother's addiction that

865
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 1: you believe will positively impact your own life or the

866
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 1: lives of others like your siblings.

867
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,319
Speaker 2: I don't know, Just like being involved in all this

868
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 2: is just learning patients and to what you mentioned earlier,

869
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:14,320
Speaker 2: just having like greats for other people. Yeah. I know

870
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,399
Speaker 2: it's hard to say because like I'm still I'm still

871
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 2: in it. Yeah, not myself, but yeah, and just to

872
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 2: you know, just I think my main thing is that

873
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 2: I try to tell that, you know, as much as

874
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 2: I can, Like I'll be there for her right now

875
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 2: if I have it in me to deal with it

876
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 2: on that specific day.

877
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: So I mean, I think you do a great job

878
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,720
Speaker 1: because I mean you got to be a favorite child

879
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 1: because you're the only one that's like really like trying

880
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 1: regardless of what the situation is.

881
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, but you know what it is. I

882
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 2: kind of think that I'm like her last like resort

883
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,960
Speaker 2: because you know, my sister is im Porto Rico and

884
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 2: she lives close to my mom. So I know for

885
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 2: a fact, like my sister has done like she's been

886
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 2: like way more present and you know she's she's also

887
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,240
Speaker 2: done a lot, but you know, when you've been doing

888
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 2: that from such a young ag, Yeah, it's like, you know,

889
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 2: I know my sister's tired, Like I know my you know,

890
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,800
Speaker 2: she used to you know, call her all hours of

891
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 2: the night asking my sister to come pick her up

892
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,680
Speaker 2: because you know, she doesn't feel safe, and you know

893
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:28,879
Speaker 2: my sister would do it.

894
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: So but that's putting her in a very unsafe situation.

895
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, my sister, she's she's tough. You know. She

896
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 2: like she went up to like one of the I

897
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 2: don't know how drug dealers and she was just like

898
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 2: it was going on with my mom like is she

899
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 2: is she call causing problems? Like what's happening? And they'd

900
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 2: be like, oh, no, she's.

901
00:49:53,400 --> 00:50:03,319
Speaker 1: Fine, really causing problems. We're in the greakhouse. Damn what

902
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: she call out some pro right?

903
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 2: I think? So? Like I don't really know, like why,

904
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,919
Speaker 2: like so this issue that like she's having with this guy,

905
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 2: like spreading rumors about her or whatever?

906
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:17,120
Speaker 1: What is he saying?

907
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 2: I don't know that. My mom's like a bitch and

908
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 2: you know how he gives her money and for her

909
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 2: to since sustain herself. And my mother was like, no,

910
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 2: he's lying, but apparently like people are like believing him

911
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 2: according to her story. But they used to date, you

912
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 2: would think, right, But she said no, but that was

913
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,359
Speaker 2: like her friend. Like I think that was like her

914
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 2: little crack friend. Like they just used to do ducks together.

915
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 1: They ain't never dated.

916
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 2: What happened?

917
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 1: They ain't never dated?

918
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:49,760
Speaker 2: I don't think.

919
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 1: So why is she letting this get to her? Or

920
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: do you believe her story?

921
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think there's something more that she's

922
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 2: not telling me, right, But I don't know. When I

923
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 2: talked to my sister about her, she was just like

924
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 2: they're both drug addicts. So and you know, and you've

925
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 2: seen like t crackheads and go at it, so she

926
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 2: was just like one of their you know things that

927
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 2: they're just fighting over what. But I really do think,

928
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:21,240
Speaker 2: you know, my mom would do better because she thinks

929
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 2: he's mad because she didn't let him into like her

930
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 2: new apartment, and I think like he just felt away

931
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 2: about it.

932
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 1: Why that's a homeboy. You know, it's weird when a

933
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 1: crack ain't going another crackhead it.

934
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 2: Well, exactly right. So that's how I know, like my

935
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 2: mom is really trying to change. But the fact that

936
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 2: he's like, I don't know, salty about it and just

937
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,800
Speaker 2: talking about her, she's it's making her like upset.

938
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: Yo, they gotta be a head of a hell of

939
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 1: a battle where you are and where you want to be.

940
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 1: Because the fact that she's trying to change and she

941
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 1: for some reason where she is, got that tight grip

942
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: on her, they gotta be that's that's that's that's heartbreaking.

943
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:05,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

944
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: And then she probably everybody knows who she is. She's

945
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:08,839
Speaker 1: been in Puerto Rico for how long now?

946
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

947
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fucked up, and he must be real salted

948
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 1: and she don't want to be his friend no more.

949
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 2: Literally, And you know what, It's funny because last night

950
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 2: when we were on the phone, she kept telling me,

951
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 2: She's like, oh my god, he's calling me. He's calling me,

952
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 2: He's calling me. What should I do? I was like,

953
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 2: what's his number? I'll call him. You speak English?

954
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 1: Well, what she was gonna say.

955
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, listen, mister, leave my mother alone. Please, I

956
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,359
Speaker 2: don't want nothing to do with you. But then it's

957
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 2: hard because you know, I'm not I'm not there, so

958
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:48,840
Speaker 2: I don't want to make him even more right, But

959
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:52,759
Speaker 2: I told her, I told her yesterday. I said that

960
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 2: if you do decide to pick up when he calls you,

961
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 2: I told her, I said, don't be rude, don't be

962
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 2: nasty about it, and just be like hey, or just

963
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 2: don't pick it up. That's why I said this, and

964
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 2: a bunch of he's gonna get tired, right, I don't

965
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 2: know my mother's stubborn. M oh who knows. Well.

966
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 1: You know, I appreciate you for coming on the show

967
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 1: and sharing your story. I think that almost every listener

968
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 1: can will be able to relate to this because unfortunately,

969
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 1: drugs has did a number within our community. So I

970
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 1: know this episode's gonna resonate with at least one or

971
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 1: ten or one hundred, so and I'm glad you feel

972
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable and knowing at beginning you was a

973
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: little nervous.

974
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 2: I was. I don't know why, but I was just like,

975
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I don't why you're.

976
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:48,919
Speaker 1: So nervous either. But if you would love to read

977
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 1: my story about my father, please go to my website

978
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 1: my love letters at dayalldone dot com. And to my guests,

979
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on the show. And

980
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:04,880
Speaker 1: to the listeners, whether you're seeking comfort, guidance, or a

981
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 1: sense of connection, this episode serves as a beacon of hope,

982
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: reminding you that there is support available in a community

983
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 1: that understands what you're going through. Until next time, listeners Later,

984
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:23,800
Speaker 1: bank y'all ye. The Professional Homegirl podcast is a production

985
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 1: of the Black Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

986
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:31,319
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, app, a podcasts, or wherever you

987
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and

988
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 1: rate the show, and you can connect with me on

989
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 1: social media at the PHG podcast