1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: with our radio. Well, one of our favorites. Somebody that 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: doesn't come around enough on the Almost Famous podcast, I 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: would say, um, especially for someone who actually still watches 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 1: the show continuously every single week. Yeah, and she's married 6 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: to somebody I bet still watch the show anyways. Jade 7 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: is here with us today. Hello Jade, Hello, thank you 8 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: for having me. Well, Jade, we should actually have you 9 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:33,839 Speaker 1: on to recap an episode sometime. Yeah, totally. I Like 10 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: I was telling you, I just finished, um, last night's 11 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,839 Speaker 1: episode or whatever, this week's episode of the Bachelor. So 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: we do still watch it. Yeah, and Tanner still watches too, 13 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: because no one loves reality TV more than Tanner. And 14 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 1: Tanner was a fan of the show. If you guys 15 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: don't know beforehand, and he was called on Ben season 16 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,959 Speaker 1: Caitlin season as the Bachelor encyclopedia, and guys would go 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: to Tanner they wanted to, like foresee what their next 18 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: next move was going to be. Yeah, he would be like, 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: this is week four, guys, so that means this is happening, Ben, 20 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: Do you have any of those memories? I have all 21 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: those memories. In fact, Tanner was a very calming force 22 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: because of his knowledge of the show and his fandom 23 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: of the show, and kind of like we talked about 24 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: on this week's episode, Ashley, I actually have a theory 25 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: about Tanner and I were talking about it. J tell 26 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: me if you think I'm right. After watching the show 27 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 1: and knowing Tanner very well, Um, I actually think Tanner 28 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 1: would be a villain today because I think he spoke 29 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: so much about the show and what would happen next 30 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: and kind of like maybe the strategy of the show. 31 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: I actually think Tanner, even though he's about as least 32 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: villainous of a person as possible, he would have been 33 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: a villain today. I think so he is not afraid 34 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: to do like hot takes. You know, he would give 35 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: the Reducers what they wanted and a t M s 36 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: about people, and he has a sarcastic side that can 37 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: come off a little like direct So I think that 38 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: they could have easily edit edited him into that or 39 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: nowadays people just wouldn't see that as funny anymore, exactly 40 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,679 Speaker 1: like the guys. The guys would have reacted like, oh, 41 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 1: he's here because he's a fan of the show. He's 42 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,839 Speaker 1: not here to actually find somebody, and then Tanner would 43 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: have been the type of guy that you could have 44 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: like honestly sat with him, been like, Tanner, what happens 45 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,680 Speaker 1: to people when they get off this show? Like I 46 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: have no idea like what life looks like. And he'd 47 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: be like, Oh, you're gonna get a ton of Instagram 48 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: followers and you're gonna he would say it, and yeah, nowadays, 49 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: I think somebody would hear that, hear that and be 50 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 1: so sensitive to it. They'd be like, that guy is 51 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: not here for the right reasons. Where when we were there, 52 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: Tanner was a friend all and we just had to 53 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: blast with him. Yeah. I think now like because of 54 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: social media, it definitely changes the whole landscape of that. 55 00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: Because when we were on the only Followers You've got out, 56 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 1: we're Twitter followers and we talked about Twitter followers. I 57 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 1: think there was no this like social media job that existed. 58 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: So I think nowadays he would just be he probably 59 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: would just be very honest and upfront and say, yeah, 60 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: this is probably what would happen for you, and they 61 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: could definitely run people the wrong way. I just have 62 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: that theory now, um, which is kind of funny. If 63 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: you know Tanner because you're like, there's no way this 64 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 1: dude would have been like the villain on a season anyways. Um, yes, 65 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: Uh so you are married the Tanner still happily seven 66 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: seven years happily married. You know what I will say, 67 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: I'm like an honest person to marriage is hard, and 68 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: we've definitely had ebbs and flows. There's been hard years, 69 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: and I think last year was a hard year for us, 70 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: and but I feel like we've kind of we had 71 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: a reset and so things have been really smooth as 72 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: of like I want to say, like November December. But 73 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: there were some hard stuff we went through last year. 74 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: Can I dig into that for just a second, because 75 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: I know Ashley in about five minutes is gonna be 76 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: like question af your question that I really know the 77 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: answer to, but I want to ask for the sake 78 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: of the audience. Yeah, she's and once she starts, she's 79 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: just gonna go. And so I'm gonna try to get 80 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,360 Speaker 1: some in here. Uh, Jade, I've only been married now 81 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:23,160 Speaker 1: for a year, in three months, three months as of 82 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:27,919 Speaker 1: two days ago. Uh, so far marriage has been hard. 83 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: It's hard in its own way for us. Communication, especially 84 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:37,799 Speaker 1: how I communicate, has caused issues. What I don't say, 85 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 1: and I just think and I hold on to and 86 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: UM try to suppress, and then sometimes it doesn't actually suppress, 87 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: and it kind of like bubbles up at some point, 88 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,840 Speaker 1: like those are my issues that I'm dealing with. UM. 89 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: But we're I think Jessica and I are finding a 90 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 1: rhythm to um to get back to like a balance 91 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: and get back to being good. We're trying to figure 92 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,479 Speaker 1: out how to do that quicker than we used to maybe. 93 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: Uh So for you, you've been married for seven years. 94 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: You said last year was a hard year. If you 95 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 1: don't mind me asking, uh, as much as you can 96 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 1: share what caused it to be a difficult year for 97 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: the two of you, and then how do you work 98 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: to a place of health again in your relationship? Yeah, 99 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: that's hard, right, UM. I think it's hard because two 100 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: people come into a marriage with all of their baggage 101 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,159 Speaker 1: packed at the door. Right. You know, we each have 102 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: our own childhood upbringings, We've each had our own life 103 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: experiences and those have really shaped us as people. And 104 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 1: then we bring them in and we try to make 105 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: them work with somebody else who may not completely ever 106 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: understand whatever you've been through as much as they try to, 107 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: and we all require different needs and things to feel loved, 108 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 1: and I think that's hard sometimes. And so I think 109 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: like for us last year, I went through, um some 110 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: like job changes that were really hard. I switched agencies, 111 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,919 Speaker 1: which was really hard for me, UM because of like 112 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 1: personal reasons, and UM, I question a lot of like 113 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: my identity, and I think that I just was kind 114 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: of searching for that. And Sannar he really went on 115 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,479 Speaker 1: like his own growth journey with some stuff that he 116 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: was going through with his family. And sometimes when you're 117 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: like going through that stuff, you may like make mistakes 118 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: or do like we have reactions that aren't necessarily healthy 119 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: because they're coming from a hurt place. And so for us, 120 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: I think it was just coming to the point of like, 121 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: if you're still in this willing to grow, and I'm 122 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 1: willing to grow, then like that's all you can ask for, right, 123 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 1: So I think it was kind of like as long 124 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 1: as we're still growing and you're gonna start, you know, 125 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: you have your stuff you want to heal on, and 126 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 1: I have my stuff I'm gonna heal on. We're gonna 127 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: give each other compassion through this. And I think that's 128 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: kind know what got us through it. UM, but therapy 129 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: therapy helps, UM, couples therapy or individual therapy individual individual. 130 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: I think, UM, we eventually would do couples therapy just 131 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: because I think therapy is so healthy, but we did 132 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: more individual and I think that that this like past 133 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: year hitting your six in our marriage, it was just 134 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: it was just something that we both were kind of 135 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: going through individually and and so it was hard to 136 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: understand each other and how to show up for each other. UM. 137 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: But the individual therapy, we would come back to each 138 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: other and share, and we learned things about each other, 139 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: UM that we never knew, And I think there was 140 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: so much deeper understanding about each other and how to 141 00:07:49,280 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 1: kind of heal together. There's this meme going on meme. 142 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: It's a trend going around and Amanda Stanton and Becca 143 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: Martinez they comment on commented on it, and I feel 144 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: like you probably saw it too. So the trend goes 145 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: like this, it's a couple before they had kids, like 146 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: back in their camera role. They found like a cute 147 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: clip of them, and then it fast forwards to when 148 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: they have kids and they're like walking ships in the night. 149 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: Did you see it, Jade? I did, Yeah, and I 150 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: saw it and I laughed because of like accuracy, right, 151 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: And then I see Becca and Amanda's take on it, 152 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 1: and they're both like, this is not something we should 153 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 1: really be laughing at. Kids don't ruin marriages. Kids tests marriages, 154 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: They like challenge them and make two people grow together 155 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:50,959 Speaker 1: in certain ways. And any um relationship that fails after 156 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 1: kids would have failed either way with or without kids. 157 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: And you know, they have great points. They're totally I 158 00:08:57,679 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: was looking at it on more of a surface level, 159 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: and they also or like, never blame kids for a 160 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: marriage coming apart, but you have to laugh at the 161 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 1: fundamental trend, which is just like marriage doesn't. I mean, 162 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: kids makes marriage a whole different thing. It's the first 163 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 1: time that it has felt like work seems like a 164 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 1: heavy word for me with Jared right now and us together, 165 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: but it's definitely been the most challenging year of our 166 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 1: marriage because you know how we've always been. It's always 167 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: been like so easy, breezy for us, but then with 168 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: a kid, there are just like a whole bunch of 169 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: new responsibilities and then you have to decide together how 170 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: to share these responsibilities and the life change it is jarring, 171 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: so I would say that, I would say from our opinion, 172 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: Like I know, people say like the harder super of 173 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 1: marriage is either um, your first year or it's like 174 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: the year you have kids. For me, i'm very team 175 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: when you have kids. What's your take on all of this? 176 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: Sorry for the straight up ramble, No, no, no, no, 177 00:09:55,720 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: I love it. I did see the meame and I 178 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 1: know you're I do remember I didn't see Becca's comments, 179 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: but I did see Amanda commenting about Becca's comments. And 180 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: I'm sort of on your side because there is an 181 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: accuracy to it, and I don't all everybody has their 182 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: own experiences. Some people may have, you know, the newborn 183 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 1: stage is easy and they thrive and their marriage has 184 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: never been better, and and then the toddler years are 185 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: harder or whatever. You know, you never know it. It's 186 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: all different. But when you invite a baby into the 187 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: picture that requires so much of you, it does affect 188 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: your marriage, you know. And there are sometimes where you 189 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 1: are two ships in the night and you may not 190 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: be connecting because you are just surviving. Sometimes you're to 191 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: send that survival mode, especially those first couple of years, 192 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: and so I think that's something you kind of need 193 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: to be aware of two is like if your marriage 194 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 1: is hard during that time, it's like you and I 195 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: really have to give each other grace because you both 196 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: are surviving. You really are this whole new experience. You 197 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: told me when I was pregnant. You're like, you're just 198 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,200 Speaker 1: in survival mode. You'll be fine, you just have to 199 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: like hunker down. And now I'm in another zone that 200 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: you've been in, and now you're telling me to do 201 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: the same thing as somebody with no kids. When does 202 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: it start feeling different? Mm hmmm. I don't know, because 203 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: Tanner I talk all the time about having a fourth baby. 204 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: And Tanner's like, we're almost at the the light at 205 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: the end of the tunnel because my youngest is too, 206 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,719 Speaker 1: and so he's like, we're almost there, you know, Like 207 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: are you sure you want to start all over again? 208 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: And I'm like, are you sure we're almost at the 209 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 1: light of the end of the tunnel, because all I 210 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: see in our future is a sprinter van full of 211 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: children go into baseball games, soccer games, piano recitals. Like 212 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 1: we're not going to just be like back to you 213 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: and me, like life is great now our kids are 214 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: a little bit older, Like it's a full long term 215 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 1: responsibility to take care of these children, and so I think, 216 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I think maybe it changes in certain ways 217 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: because maybe it's not as physically demanding of you. You know. 218 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 1: I feel like, actually, like babies are so physically demanding 219 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: of their mother's right, I'm thinking, Yeah, there's that, and 220 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 1: there's the phase where it's like all they want is you. 221 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 1: He's great wan Jared when like he closes the door 222 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: and he's with Jared, but like if he has both 223 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: of us in front of him, he's going to reach 224 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: over to me. I think the thing that Tanner might 225 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 1: be alluding to is like communication. It's like, okay, they 226 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,559 Speaker 1: they all know how to talk to us, and that 227 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: feels like a big leap, But they also all know 228 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:47,079 Speaker 1: how to talk to us Ben, It's like, okay, So 229 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 1: when am like, like, should I have kids, That's what 230 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: Ben's probably thinking. It's a yeah, it's a question I 231 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:58,439 Speaker 1: have often, Jade, as you're talking there um and kind 232 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: of explaining the light at the end of the tunnel, 233 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: a question pot in mind that I'm just curious about 234 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,559 Speaker 1: and it could be very inappropriate, but I hope you 235 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: know where I'm trying to go with it. Uh, you 236 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 1: mentioned that last year you did a lot of like 237 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: growth yourself and that you I think what you said 238 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 1: was like kind of an identity crisis. I think that's 239 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,960 Speaker 1: how you explained it, which Ashley and I both talked 240 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: about many times on the show before. How you know, 241 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you blink and you're having to 242 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,719 Speaker 1: switch you know, your career or how people view you, 243 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,719 Speaker 1: or how little they think of you or how much 244 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 1: they think of you. Like those things happen, especially coming 245 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,960 Speaker 1: off of reality television, where that happens so fast and 246 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 1: you kind of, you know, blow up, and then you 247 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: kind of blow out pretty quickly too. It seems like, um, 248 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,320 Speaker 1: you know I I also have been open about my 249 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: identity crisis getting married, even you know, I've been known 250 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: as the single guy for so long that was kind 251 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 1: of like what I got paid to do. Uh, it 252 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: was how people viewed me the bachelor. And so then 253 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 1: I was getting married and very excited to get married 254 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 1: and very ready to get married, but also be like, 255 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: what is life going to look like now that I'm married, 256 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: Like I'm no longer ever going to be single again? 257 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: God willing uh so for as a mother when I'm 258 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,079 Speaker 1: going here is as a mother? Has it been an 259 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,839 Speaker 1: identity crisis? Do you ever find yourself waking up one 260 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 1: morning and being like, wow, seven years ago I was 261 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: on national television as a single person with all opportunities 262 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: in front of me in the world, and now I'm 263 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: a mom and that takes a lot out of me 264 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 1: and they need me often and I am there to 265 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: care for them. Does that ever hit you? Does it 266 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: ever like kind of shock you? Because I feel like 267 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 1: it's mostly asking. I feel like it's really gonna shock 268 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: me when you become a parent. Yeah, it is. It's 269 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 1: such a right of passage that we go through, you know, 270 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: like it is you, you're one person, and then as 271 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: soon as the baby is born, you have completely transformed 272 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 1: over to a new role that you have forever. So 273 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 1: I think it's like the heaviness of its too, and 274 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: it is it's you are responsible for someone else's well being, 275 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 1: someone else's safety, someone else's you know, feeling of being 276 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: loved and growing up and so it's like it's it's 277 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: it isn't it's this whole new identity that you take 278 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: on and you aren't the same person, Like I will 279 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 1: never go back to that person, right, that I was 280 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: seven years ago before my daughter was born. Um, there's 281 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: still pieces of that person in me, but I am 282 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 1: I feel like I have transformed. I always talk about 283 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 1: if I look at my life, all the people who 284 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: I've been and who I've died and been reborn into. 285 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: And I really do believe you get reborn with your baby, 286 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 1: and so it it's it's it's hard because you kind 287 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: of grieve that person you were before, but yet you're 288 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 1: looking at this baby that's just like magic, you know, 289 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 1: and so it's it's a wonderful transformation. But I think 290 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: it's kind of normal to grieve some of the past 291 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: of who you were, because we do kind of as humans, 292 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: ground ourselves into an identity, right, So I think that's 293 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: hard for me. Is what I went through last year 294 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: was just struggling with my purpose and so much of 295 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: my Instagram and like my job was taking was like 296 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: sharing about being pregnant and having a baby and what 297 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: it's like to be a new mom, and I am 298 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,240 Speaker 1: growing out of that. So I was kind of struggling 299 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: and like, well, what's my purpose now? Like why are 300 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: people wanting to connect with me? And I think that 301 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: that was kind of like what I went through last 302 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 1: year speaking of Instagram business and the strategy that Tanner 303 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: happens to sort of have in like every aspect of 304 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: his life. You guys are kind of well known as 305 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: being one of the bachelor couples that really have dominated 306 00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: the Instagram um like influencers. You know, Like when you 307 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: think of bachelor influencers, I think you guys really come 308 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 1: to mind. I think it's probably because you guys are 309 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: a successful couple right off the bat, and like you 310 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,920 Speaker 1: got married so quickly, you know, because like I think 311 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,919 Speaker 1: that with the leads, of course, the leads are going 312 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 1: to get lots of followers, but you guys were non 313 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 1: leads and you've got lots of followers, and then you 314 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 1: had a baby and like everything and it just kept 315 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 1: staying really interesting. What kind of strategy? And you guys 316 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 1: have been insanely successful with it? Um? Did Tanner have 317 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 1: a plan right off the bat when he saw these 318 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 1: followers keep ticking up? Like he would, I know, you 319 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 1: would get in trouble for this on the show today? Um, 320 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,160 Speaker 1: you know when he had no idea, Like he went 321 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: back to his card dealership job right right after the show. 322 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: He he went on the show just because he was 323 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 1: curious about it was like to be on reality TV 324 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: because he was such a super fan of reality TV. UM. 325 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,399 Speaker 1: And then once we got followers and we got our 326 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 1: first sponsorship, he was like, you can make what on 327 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,679 Speaker 1: just by posting a picture on an app Like he 328 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 1: didn't even he didn't even have Instagram I think at 329 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 1: the time, and so we he downloaded Instagram. I guess 330 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: right before the show, right, I guess that's when he 331 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 1: downloaded it. Um. But we were just we were able 332 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:18,400 Speaker 1: to tap in at the right time. I think timing 333 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: was truly everything for what created our success, because like 334 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 1: Instagram had just become a thing, people were getting lots 335 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: of followers. I think Crystal season truly was like the 336 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: first you know where people blew up. I don't think 337 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,719 Speaker 1: Handy season, no, No, there is a huge difference in 338 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: these seasons, and so he was definitely like, we have 339 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: to take advantage of those, you know, and we did. 340 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,719 Speaker 1: We went full force, like threw ourselves into it. So 341 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 1: he was working sixty hours a week at the dealership 342 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:53,080 Speaker 1: and then on Sundays we would film all of our ads. UM. 343 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: But I mean his strategy was always, you know, go 344 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: until it burns out. But what's funny is he pretty 345 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: much like he announced like Instagram retirement, but he did 346 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 1: he announced to you Instagram retirement. Yeah, I mean he 347 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,960 Speaker 1: doesn't post anymore. What would Tanner say if you wanted 348 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,920 Speaker 1: to retire from Instagram? Would he be cool with that? Oh? 349 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,880 Speaker 1: I joke all the time. I'm like, well, I'm retiring too, 350 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: and you're not. Well, he goes, well, then we just 351 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: have to move out to California. So okay, So that 352 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: was my next question. You're both still in California. Um, 353 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: what part of California. We're in Orange County. We're like 354 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,119 Speaker 1: it's called Trabuco Canyon. It's right up against um, the 355 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 1: Santa Ana Mountains. It's really pretty. Okay. Has that been 356 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 1: a big change for you all? I mean, because you're 357 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: both Midwesterners? Right yeah? Um, definitely more for him. So 358 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,200 Speaker 1: I lived in l A for like four years before 359 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 1: I went on The Bachelor. So I was living in 360 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: l A when I went on the show. Um, but 361 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 1: he grew up in Kansas City. He like live there 362 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: his whole life, Like all of his friends are still 363 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: from elementary and middle school. And so when we moved 364 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 1: out here, I think he uh, he had a hard transition, 365 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: like a hard time adjusting because he didn't have any 366 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 1: friends here and so except for me and Jared, Yeah, 367 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 1: it's in the new move and then we moved. Yes, 368 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: so yeah, I think it definitely was harder for for him. Um, hey, Jed, 369 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break here. When we come back, 370 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: I want to ask you if it's appropriate for me 371 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 1: to talk to you. I know you did during um 372 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 1: a couple of other shows about sex in marriage. Is 373 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 1: that okay? Yeah, let's talk about when we come back 374 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 1: and we're back, and I can't wait for Ben to 375 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: ask this question because Ben doesn't really talk about this 376 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 1: a lot. I don't, well I don't, nor do I. Um, 377 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:08,120 Speaker 1: you know the uh, Jade, you you have been um 378 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: now married for seven years. You do have three kids, 379 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,560 Speaker 1: as we've talked about. I think it is such a 380 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,719 Speaker 1: incredible thing when couples, especially married couples who have been 381 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: in it for a while, continue to share, you know, 382 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,920 Speaker 1: how they keep the intimacy alive because, uh, if it's 383 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: not finance, it's you know, the physical connection that oftentimes 384 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: moves couples apart. And we just spent the first half 385 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,159 Speaker 1: of this podcast talking about how kids can so quickly 386 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: or life can so quickly start to make you guys 387 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: ships in the night. As Ashley said, yeah, I mean 388 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 1: I've been vocal about this publicly before, but and I 389 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: know some people disagree with it, but it's just the 390 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,479 Speaker 1: way that our relationship works is we we schedule sex. 391 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: It's something that is hard to have spontaneous. Just like 392 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna look at my husband and be like i 393 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: wanna jump his bones right now. That doesn't happen any 394 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: It doesn't happen. No, like not at all. Sorry, Ben, 395 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:07,159 Speaker 1: I don't know. We we can't speak for jess but 396 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 1: I would say that is very similar to Jade. I 397 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,920 Speaker 1: will maybe we don't discuss it, but I will plan 398 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: it in my head. Oh. We we definitely have a Yeah, 399 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,919 Speaker 1: she as a schedule. You have a schedule. Okay, technically 400 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 1: it's flexible, like it's not like if I if I'm 401 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 1: sick or something or yeah, um well, I mean you 402 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: know obviously, like my relationship is a little different like Jessica. Uh, 403 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: and I like stayed absinent through our whole dating for 404 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 1: I mean three years, right, and so when we got married, 405 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: that was a whole new chapter for us and a 406 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 1: whole new thing for us to look forward to. And um, 407 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: but you're still, I think very quickly into that stage 408 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: where you are, you're with one person, you're trying to 409 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: figure each other out. Um, And so how you know 410 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,440 Speaker 1: the scheduling I guess my concern there My question would 411 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,200 Speaker 1: be does it keep things interesting? Like is there spontaneity 412 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 1: still to the relationship or uh? And do you feel 413 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,959 Speaker 1: like you get um out of those scheduled evenings what 414 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: you need for intimacy and for connection? Yeah, I mean 415 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 1: the scheduling doesn't have to be just like seven o'clock 416 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: at night, eight minutes long, missionary boom or done. You know, 417 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:27,480 Speaker 1: honestly here, I'm glad we need it and this is healthy. 418 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: I mean it doesn't yeah, I mean it doesn't it 419 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 1: can you know? You can still in that time try 420 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: to just I call it like my mom had I 421 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,679 Speaker 1: wear my mom hat all day. Take the mom hat off, 422 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 1: which is really hard. But be in the moment, be 423 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: in my body, be thinking about my husband, our connection, 424 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 1: you know, and and just making the most of it 425 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 1: because it is we do it once a week and 426 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,719 Speaker 1: so it's like that one time, once a week I 427 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,280 Speaker 1: know that he looks forward to, so I might as 428 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,120 Speaker 1: well just like show him that, Like, you know, even 429 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,159 Speaker 1: if like fives before, I'm like, oh my god, do 430 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: I really have to go do this right now? You know, 431 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: I still want to show him that, Like I am 432 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 1: putting forth effort into our marriage because I think it's 433 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 1: worth it and we always end up having a great 434 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 1: time anyway. So do you do you have any advice? 435 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: I mean, that's what you and Tanna have been able 436 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 1: to figure out, uh and and that works for the 437 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 1: two of you overall, Like holistically, do you have any 438 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 1: advice for couples who are sitting there, you know, one year, 439 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,879 Speaker 1: in ten years, in fifteen years in still trying to 440 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 1: keep that spark alive. I think just which is hard 441 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 1: is it's just the communication, and I think it's we've 442 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 1: really worked on that too. It's so vulnerable to sit 443 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: down and talk about sex right like this makes me 444 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 1: feel wanted. This makes me feel completely unwanted when you 445 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,440 Speaker 1: do this like this, When when I want to touch 446 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 1: you like this and I feel like you're shut shivering 447 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: or shuttering me or whatever you know that makes me 448 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: feel this way, or I like when you do this 449 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: this makes me feel turned on or whatever. It's it's 450 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,639 Speaker 1: hard to work and it's sometimes canna be exhausting, but 451 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,920 Speaker 1: I really think it's worth the effort. And I think 452 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: there's so many more ways to be intimate that's not 453 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,680 Speaker 1: sexual that makes the sexual intimacy better. And I think 454 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,720 Speaker 1: that's just finding out what else intimacy means to you 455 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 1: to me, like having like meaningful conversations that aren't about 456 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 1: our children and just like my dreams or you know, 457 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 1: like something about like did you ever know this about me? 458 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 1: Or or something like. Um. The other day, I was 459 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: talking to Tanner about something. Oh, I've been taking this 460 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 1: supplement that's that's been stopping nightmares that I've been having 461 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 1: because I've been having nightmares every night for like the 462 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: past like ten months. And he's like, you never told 463 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 1: me you were having nightmares every night, and I was like, 464 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I didn't think about that, 465 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 1: And so we started talking about it, and I felt 466 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,640 Speaker 1: so much closer to him, which just makes me feel 467 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 1: closer to him when it comes to like his needs. 468 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: So I think it's just finding what the other intimate 469 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: parts are, even if it's just like soft touches like 470 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 1: I like. I like hugs. You know, I want you 471 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 1: to hug me, and it doesn't feel sexual. I want 472 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:14,200 Speaker 1: to feel like that, that that closeness, that connection. I 473 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: think it all kind of like ties in together. It's 474 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: interesting that you say that, because you know, when I'm 475 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: upset or stressed out, I've had a long day at work, 476 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,640 Speaker 1: or something's happened in my life and I'm just feeling down, Um, 477 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 1: when Jessica reaches over and rubs my back without me asking, 478 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,879 Speaker 1: but just like knowing, that's like what I need, Like 479 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:37,440 Speaker 1: I feel that same closeness to her. Then then I 480 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 1: do no you know, any other time in our life 481 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,359 Speaker 1: like there are and that's like for me kind of 482 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: the surprise and also a really exciting thing about marriage 483 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,200 Speaker 1: is you have your partner now, they get to know 484 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,160 Speaker 1: you really well, and when they do something to bring 485 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,159 Speaker 1: like to support you, or to bring you closer to them, 486 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,399 Speaker 1: and hopefully you're doing something to bring them closer to you. 487 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 1: It can be done in so many different ways now, 488 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,919 Speaker 1: which for me has been really fun to figure out. Um, 489 00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: and she's doing such a good job at it, I'd 490 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,360 Speaker 1: have to ask her if I'm doing a good job 491 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: at it. Yeah, I mean that's super sweet. Yeah, I 492 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: would love to kind of close this whole thing out 493 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,440 Speaker 1: with talking about what's next in your life, Like what 494 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,400 Speaker 1: are you now looking forward to? What did you learn 495 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 1: last year? As you said, you went through this kind 496 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: of um growing process. Not that you're stopped growing now 497 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 1: you're still growing, but what what is next for you? 498 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,600 Speaker 1: What what is on the horizon. Yeah, I think that's 499 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 1: what's exciting about life still Sometimes when I feel like 500 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 1: maybe I'm stuck, like last year I felt like I 501 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 1: was creatively stuck. Is that you can always change and 502 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 1: evolve and grow and become who you want to become. 503 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 1: And so I think it's it's just for myself personally, 504 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,399 Speaker 1: I'm just searching for, like what's my next purpose? And 505 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,399 Speaker 1: I like, I love being a mom and I know 506 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: that's like one of my deeply rooted purposes. But I 507 00:27:55,840 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 1: also just I want something that makes me feel like 508 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 1: I'm making a difference. And so and Instagram, I've always 509 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 1: felt like that was like for work, like I could 510 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 1: make a difference by sharing like my raw parts of motherhood. Um, 511 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,440 Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm moving on to another chapter 512 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 1: and I just don't know what that is. Yet you're 513 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,640 Speaker 1: so wonderful in that space, um, whether it's talking about 514 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 1: motherhood or kids, and I know that you just love 515 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 1: like you are a special person. You like love the 516 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,280 Speaker 1: birthing process like you find beauty in it. And I 517 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,240 Speaker 1: was like, can we skip this part of my life? 518 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: And honestly wasn't bad. But you thought about like being 519 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,920 Speaker 1: a doula or something like that. Is that still on 520 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 1: the goals list? I have no idea. I really don't, 521 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: And I think that's maybe like i feel kind of 522 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 1: like floating, falling ish, like I'm just trying to figure 523 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 1: out what it is and maybe a sign will smack 524 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 1: me in the face or maybe I'm still just gonna 525 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 1: take a while to figure it out. I think this year, 526 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 1: I really I feel like I've missed out, like putting 527 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: so much of myself into my kids. I've missed out 528 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:10,200 Speaker 1: on like friendships, and I'm really craving like soulful sisterhood. 529 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,280 Speaker 1: I've never had a sister, and I always wanted a sister, 530 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 1: and so I think, like I'm just I don't know. 531 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: I want to just cultivate good women around me that 532 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 1: support me. I feel like that's what I'm kind of 533 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 1: looking for right now, I don't know, but like other 534 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 1: life parts of my life, I don't know. I don't 535 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: know what's happening. It's no, I mean, it's it's interesting. 536 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: There was a period of my life and then still 537 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 1: probably to this day, if you ask me this, um, 538 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,880 Speaker 1: somebody will you know, always ask like what are you 539 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 1: up to? What's next? Kind of like I just asked 540 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: you and there would just be this like gut this 541 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: like gut like punch almost in me. It's not as 542 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 1: much anymore, but there was a season where, um, I 543 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: got really low and every time somebody asked me that, 544 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,600 Speaker 1: I just pretty much like caved, like my my shoulder shrank. 545 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 1: I felt like something in out of me was empty 546 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 1: because I didn't know um, and it made me feel 547 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 1: really bad about myself. It made me question, you know, 548 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,080 Speaker 1: who I was, and I'm wanting I just wonder if 549 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 1: that is a something that comes from like kind of 550 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 1: this like weird season of life where it lasts for 551 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 1: who knows how long were you? Kind of stuff is 552 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: handed to you. I mean, it's very easy for a while, 553 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: right to have a career and you still have to 554 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: work at it. But like stuff just kind of gets 555 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: handed to you for a while and everybody wants to 556 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 1: pay to see you, and you can kind of like 557 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 1: you know, get any opportunity you want for a period 558 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 1: of time, and that goes away and you have to 559 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: start looking at like what was all this for? Like 560 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 1: what was all what does all this mean? What did 561 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,640 Speaker 1: I just do? And for me that really it put 562 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: me in a deep place, like a dark place for 563 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 1: a while. Um. You know, I don't know if I'm 564 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,719 Speaker 1: still there or not. I don't get asked as much 565 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 1: what are you gonna do next? Because I told so 566 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:52,479 Speaker 1: many people I don't know, um, so maybe they gave up. 567 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,680 Speaker 1: But it is, it's it's it's an interesting time. But 568 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,960 Speaker 1: there's a lot of healing too. There's an I just 569 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 1: want to share this. During that period of my life, 570 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 1: I started to talk about purpose, like what was all 571 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,400 Speaker 1: this for? What did allays do? What can I do 572 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,680 Speaker 1: with any of it? And a really wise person told 573 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: me some advice. He said, well, what angers you the most, 574 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:13,719 Speaker 1: or what's on your mind the most? Maybe what fires 575 00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: you have to talk about? Maybe it is like childbirth. 576 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 1: Maybe like when you somebody ask you about hey, tell 577 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: me more about childbirth, Like you know, you just spew 578 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: like you know, all this information and all this passion 579 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: behind it, and then they said, Okay. For me personally, 580 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 1: my purpose came from a thing that made me angry, poverty, 581 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: um and lack of things for people in this world. 582 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: But you're steak in the ground and either join something 583 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: or start something that's helping work towards the topic that 584 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,240 Speaker 1: you really care about, and you're and for a period 585 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 1: of your life, maybe not forever, but your purpose will 586 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 1: be in that and it kind of has worked. Um 587 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 1: is a really healthy process for me to kind of 588 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,240 Speaker 1: do that and put my stake in the ground and say, no, 589 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 1: this is what this chapter of life is gonna look 590 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,040 Speaker 1: like for me. It's no longer about me being relevant. 591 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,040 Speaker 1: It's about whatever I can do with this platform. And 592 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: that's been handed to me. But I just share that 593 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,239 Speaker 1: because that was not coming. That sound advice I am 594 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: giving here, that's advice that was given to me. No. 595 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,120 Speaker 1: I like it though, because it makes me think of like, 596 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 1: what what does anger me? You know, like what I 597 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,480 Speaker 1: would want to see changed in the world, which does 598 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,800 Speaker 1: have a lot to do around birth because the United 599 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 1: States has one of the highest mortality rates for mothers, 600 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 1: and so that's something I would love to advocate for. 601 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 1: So it is something that like I do see like 602 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,520 Speaker 1: what you're saying. And maybe it's just I haven't given 603 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 1: given myself permission to like say that, maybe this is 604 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 1: more of my life perfect purpose, because now that I'm 605 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,280 Speaker 1: growing out of that, I feel like, oh, I can't 606 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:44,200 Speaker 1: keep talking about babies over and over and over. I don't. 607 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 1: I don't have babies anymore. But maybe it's like if 608 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: I find the right avenue to do that. You know, 609 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: I've always called you mother Nature, so it really does 610 00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: fit for you, and I thought you were mother Nature 611 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 1: even before you had a baby. I will always remember 612 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 1: sitting in St. Lucia this you have been married for 613 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: six months and you're talking about how you wanted a 614 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 1: baby and Tanner was like, I don't know, And this 615 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,960 Speaker 1: is six months before you got pregnant, and you were like, Tanner, 616 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,000 Speaker 1: I just want something to nurture. And I was like, wow, 617 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 1: she's so amazing and special. That's so cute. But but 618 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 1: I just want to say I think that people don't 619 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: like that. I hate that question. I don't think it's 620 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:31,600 Speaker 1: you or I think it's an overall hatred towards the 621 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: what's next question, because then it kind of makes you 622 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: feel like what you're doing now isn't enough, or that 623 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: I have to have something next. Yeah, Like what if 624 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 1: you're so happy with where you're at very content? I 625 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,480 Speaker 1: told you, Like where I'm at right now is I'm 626 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 1: happily content, Like I'm really good, Like I don't want 627 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 1: a lot to change right now. I'm kind of just 628 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: in this like really fun season of marriage and life 629 00:33:55,960 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 1: and slowness. And I don't know, happily content. And I 630 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: said that to somebody, um recently, They're like, I've never 631 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,239 Speaker 1: heard anybody say happily contemned. They were seen those two 632 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,400 Speaker 1: things together. Like, I don't know how I feel. I 633 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 1: don't know if I want something next right now. I 634 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 1: love that. I feel like I feel like that's something 635 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,320 Speaker 1: we all crave but can never give ourselves because of 636 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,720 Speaker 1: society and how we ma we value success, we value productivity, 637 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,520 Speaker 1: Like you can't just rest and enjoy your life and 638 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,760 Speaker 1: enjoy the now, like you have to be constantly doing something. 639 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,240 Speaker 1: So I definitely agree with that. Like that just sounds 640 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,719 Speaker 1: sounds Did you say that? It sounds really nice? Yeah, 641 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,839 Speaker 1: I have such an issue with that that constant productivity 642 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 1: feel like even well, I don't have days off anymore 643 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 1: to just watch TV for like seven hours. It's probably 644 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,319 Speaker 1: what I miss most about motherhood is just waking up 645 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 1: in the morning and you know what, like, you know what, 646 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,880 Speaker 1: I'm just going to binge watch an entire show, Like 647 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:52,680 Speaker 1: I've not been able to that if I want to 648 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,239 Speaker 1: do that after like start nine pm. Anyway, Um, where 649 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,480 Speaker 1: was it going with that? Oh? Yeah, because I used 650 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,120 Speaker 1: to feel like I just need to to constantly be productive. 651 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,240 Speaker 1: Like every time I was like, oh I can relax, 652 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,760 Speaker 1: I'd be like, no, you shouldn't relax. Why should you relax. 653 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,360 Speaker 1: You should get this done and that done. Like you, 654 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,439 Speaker 1: they're on the horizon, but as mine as well. Tackle 655 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,920 Speaker 1: them now. It's a problem and it's definitely been drilled 656 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,360 Speaker 1: into us by society because wearing dizziness is like a 657 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 1: badge of honor, and I think people who are who 658 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: have any sort of platform on social media because if 659 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,479 Speaker 1: you're not posting, then you're not being seen and that's 660 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: your whole job, you know. Curse those who aren't relevant, right, 661 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 1: Curse some terrible people if you don't stay your elevant 662 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:42,880 Speaker 1: um Jade final question that I have for you. You know, 663 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,480 Speaker 1: since your time really on The Bachelor, you have, UM, 664 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,320 Speaker 1: either purposefully or just because of who you are and 665 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,600 Speaker 1: how life has worked out for you've made an impact 666 00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,439 Speaker 1: a lot of people's lives, and you made people feel 667 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 1: less alone and more seen and more cared for. UM. 668 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: I think that's a spectacle, your gift and something to celebrate. 669 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,400 Speaker 1: And maybe the only unsolicited advice I would give is 670 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,719 Speaker 1: maybe sit on how big of an impact you've made 671 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 1: and so many people who are probably feeling alone or 672 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 1: you're gonna make me cry, Well, that's true, UM, and 673 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,600 Speaker 1: you deserve to sit and celebrate that and see and 674 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,680 Speaker 1: and just remember. But UM, you've also made continue to 675 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 1: make a big impact with those who are mothers, new mothers, um, 676 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,520 Speaker 1: as we've talked about so much here during this episode. 677 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,600 Speaker 1: My last question for you is what advice do you 678 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 1: have for somebody listening who is a mother to be, 679 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,160 Speaker 1: somebody who wants kids on the you know, in the future, 680 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 1: already a mother. Do you have any overarching advice on motherhood? UM, 681 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 1: I think it's I mean, my top advice would be 682 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:51,640 Speaker 1: to listen to your own intuition. We live in such 683 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 1: an age where there's just information overload, which I think 684 00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,279 Speaker 1: is great. You know, you can access every sort of 685 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 1: resource out there for every single topic imaginable when it 686 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:04,320 Speaker 1: comes to trying to conceive pregnancy, birth, postpartum, motherhood, and 687 00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:08,160 Speaker 1: and so everything's at your fingertips. But I really think 688 00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: it comes down to you have everything already inside of 689 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:16,000 Speaker 1: you that like the toolbox that you need to be 690 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: the best mom for your baby. And I think that's 691 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,600 Speaker 1: like the most important thing to remember because there will 692 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 1: be so many people telling you what to do, there 693 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,680 Speaker 1: will be so many people judging you, there will be 694 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,400 Speaker 1: so many like people, This needs to happen this way, now, 695 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,239 Speaker 1: this needs to happen that way. And so I think 696 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,960 Speaker 1: just like being even if you feel like you don't 697 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,040 Speaker 1: know what you're doing, you know, you're like holding your 698 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,400 Speaker 1: baby and you're like, I have no idea what I'm 699 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: doing right now, just know that like being there right 700 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 1: then and there is enough. M hm. You truly are 701 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: an inspiration of motherhood. Um. I know that we've talked 702 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 1: a lot about motherhood, but seriously, you are the person 703 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 1: that I think of when I think of it, and 704 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,560 Speaker 1: you're the person that I go to when I have 705 00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 1: questions about it or just need to honestly bent about it. 706 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,279 Speaker 1: So thank you for being you. Yeah. When I think 707 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,800 Speaker 1: of Jade, I just think of her walking down to 708 00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 1: the beach in Paradise and all the guys being like 709 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:13,040 Speaker 1: her her. I want her, That's what I think about. 710 00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:18,960 Speaker 1: Somehow Tanner, somehow, Tanner landed it the upset of the year. Yeah, 711 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:24,239 Speaker 1: it was talked about for decades. Jane, thanks for joining 712 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,640 Speaker 1: us today. Uh, it's always great to catch up with you. Uh. 713 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 1: If you don't mind, please come back and break down 714 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,000 Speaker 1: an episode of the Bachelor with us. It'd be a 715 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 1: lot of fun. I would love to. I'm sure Tanner 716 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,480 Speaker 1: would give some great takes too. If you ever want 717 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 1: both of you together, Yes, I would love to have 718 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,600 Speaker 1: Tanner on so he can say the that we can't. Yeah, 719 00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,680 Speaker 1: let him get in trouble for one, so they're awesome. Jade, 720 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,759 Speaker 1: come back soon. I can't wait to talk to you 721 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:53,279 Speaker 1: um about the show. Thanks for joining us today. Than 722 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 1: bye bye. Followed the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous 723 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:02,920 Speaker 1: podcast on I Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.