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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, welcome back to the next episode of Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls University. I'm your host, doctor joy Hard

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Speaker 1: and Bradford, and we'll get right into our conversation after

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Speaker 1: word from our sponsors, Sis, you did it. We have

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Speaker 1: arrived at graduation season, and whether you've already crossed the stage,

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Speaker 1: or powering through your finals, or are eagerly awaiting to

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Speaker 1: hold your diploma, I want to invite you to pause

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Speaker 1: and take a moment to ground yourself, not in what's next,

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Speaker 1: but in what is now. So here are a few

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Speaker 1: affirmations that might be helpful to carry with you during

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Speaker 1: this time of transition. You can repeat them alive, save

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Speaker 1: them in your head, or simply sit with them as truth.

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Speaker 1: I am allowed to grow slowly. I release the pressure

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Speaker 1: to have all the answers. My path is unfolding in

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Speaker 1: its own time. I honor every version of myself. Even

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Speaker 1: when I feel unsure, I am still moving forward. I

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Speaker 1: trust that clarity will come step by step. I deserve joy, rest,

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Speaker 1: and ease. Right here, right now, I am becoming Even now.

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Speaker 1: Wherever you are on your journey, you are enough. And

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Speaker 1: here at Therapy for Black Girls, we are so so

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Speaker 1: proud of you and want to celerate you and honor

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Speaker 1: you at this very important part of your life. After

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Speaker 1: you sit with the affirmations, I want you to check

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Speaker 1: in and let me know how are you really feeling

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Speaker 1: right now? I'm sure there's a lot going on. The

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Speaker 1: graduation season can bring up so many different feelings, so

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Speaker 1: you're likely feeling a mix of excitement, but maybe also

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Speaker 1: some confusion, maybe some relief, maybe even some grief about

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Speaker 1: this chapter of your life closing. Lots of different things happening.

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Speaker 1: You're probably very relieved to be done with school and

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Speaker 1: feeling like you're ready to move on to your next steps,

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Speaker 1: but also maybe a little sad about leaving behind friendships,

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Speaker 1: really leaving behind the idea of things that are very structured.

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Speaker 1: And even if you're ready to be done, there is

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Speaker 1: a lot of comfort that comes with us to build

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Speaker 1: that college offers right, so you can pick your classes,

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Speaker 1: you hang out with friends, you do some things in

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Speaker 1: the evenings, do things on the weekends, visit home, do

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Speaker 1: other things right like it's a very predictable routine, and

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Speaker 1: so even if you are excited for it to be done,

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Speaker 1: there may be some sadness related to leaving the stability

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Speaker 1: of what was very predictable and maybe stepping into some

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Speaker 1: times that are a little uncertain. And so whatever it

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Speaker 1: is that you're feeling, I want you to know that

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Speaker 1: it is okay. All of your feelings are valid about

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Speaker 1: this experience, even if they are very different than what

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Speaker 1: other people are feeling. I want you to know that

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Speaker 1: your experiences are valid. And so if you're feeling both

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Speaker 1: excited and a little sad or maybe a little anxious,

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Speaker 1: all of it is totally okay. And it could be

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Speaker 1: really helpful for you to talk with your peers about

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Speaker 1: what you're feeling right so, as you are doing this celebrating,

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Speaker 1: I'd also love for you to spend some time talking

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Speaker 1: with some close friends about how y'all are processing this

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Speaker 1: moment and how are you making sense of what's happening

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Speaker 1: right now? Right like allow people to share what's actually

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Speaker 1: happening with them. This season can be, like I said,

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Speaker 1: both very celebratory and exciting, but it also can feel

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Speaker 1: a little lonely. It can feel a little confusing, especially

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Speaker 1: if you're not sure what happens next postgraduation. That definitely

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Speaker 1: is where I was postgraduating. So I graduated from Zaba

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Speaker 1: University of Louisiana with my bachelor's degree in psychology in

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Speaker 1: two thousand and did not know what I was doing postgraduation.

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Speaker 1: Immediately after so, I had applied to several different clinical

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Speaker 1: psychology programs and was not accepted to any of them,

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Speaker 1: and for the first time in my life, it was

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Speaker 1: this real period of not knowing what happens next and

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Speaker 1: feeling like I had followed all of the rules and

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Speaker 1: checked all of the boxes and school really was the

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Speaker 1: only thing I knew was the only thing like that

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Speaker 1: had been a steady and a steadfast in my life,

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Speaker 1: and so not being accepted to graduate school to the

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Speaker 1: PhD programs was I think the first time where I

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Speaker 1: had worked really hard and not been successful. I think

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Speaker 1: that there was some questioning of worthiness and like, am

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Speaker 1: I actually smart enough to do this? Thankfully I was

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Speaker 1: able to go to a master's program in rehabilitation counseling

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Speaker 1: and actually was a perfect fit for me. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: even a feel that I knew existed before I was

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Speaker 1: not accepted to the clinical psychology programs. And so I

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Speaker 1: offer that to you in case you were also feeling

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Speaker 1: unsure of your next steps or thought that your next

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Speaker 1: steps would be one thing, and now are sitting with

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Speaker 1: the idea that it may not be what you thought

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Speaker 1: it was. And it is totally okay to not know.

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Speaker 1: I know that there's a lot of pressure, and maybe

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Speaker 1: you've taken out a lot of loans and there's been

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Speaker 1: a lot of investment in your college career, and that

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Speaker 1: investment still will be really important. That investment still will

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Speaker 1: come to pass, But it is okay to not know

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Speaker 1: and to give yourself some time to figure out what

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Speaker 1: these next steps will be even if you don't know

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Speaker 1: right now. So one thing, and if you've listened to

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Speaker 1: the podcast anytime, you know that I'm a huge fan

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Speaker 1: of journaling, and I think that if journaling has not

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Speaker 1: been a practice for you before, it is something that

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Speaker 1: will likely serve you very well as you continue throughout

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Speaker 1: your life. And so I'd like to invite you to

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Speaker 1: start with a journaling practice in the near future so

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Speaker 1: that you can keep track of how you're feeling, what

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Speaker 1: kinds of things are coming up for you as you

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Speaker 1: continue throughout your life. It will be really helpful for

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Speaker 1: you to be able to track any patterns and really

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Speaker 1: to just have a place where you can record your

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Speaker 1: thoughts like you owe yourself and you are deserving of

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Speaker 1: the time sitting with your thoughts, recording your thoughts, and

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Speaker 1: then being able to reflect back on them. So a

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Speaker 1: journaling problem that may be helpful for you in the

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Speaker 1: near future is what do I need today? Not forever,

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Speaker 1: but what do I feel like I need today? So

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of times we get in our

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Speaker 1: own way, we are so busy thinking about the next

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Speaker 1: steps that we are just passing by what we actually

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Speaker 1: need in this moment. And so, in this moment today,

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Speaker 1: what is it that you feel like you need and

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Speaker 1: take that to your journal. I also think that in

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Speaker 1: this period of maybe uncertainty or confusion, or just not

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Speaker 1: quite sure whether turn, it could be really helpful for

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Speaker 1: you to seek out resources that are available to you,

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Speaker 1: either through parents, other loved ones, church groups, alumni networks,

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Speaker 1: sorority chapters other community organizations. There are lots of people

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Speaker 1: who have been in the seat that you are in

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Speaker 1: now who would love nothing more than to offer you suggestions, feedback,

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Speaker 1: maybe even resources about what are the next steps in

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Speaker 1: your life if you are only willing to ask, and

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Speaker 1: so don't be afraid or feel ashamed because you don't

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Speaker 1: have it all figured out. Very few of us actually

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Speaker 1: had it all figured out immediately post college graduation, and

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Speaker 1: so it tapp into your networks. Allow people to pour

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Speaker 1: into you, allow them to brag, and to introduce you

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Speaker 1: to other people who may be of great resource to you,

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Speaker 1: because this is the time to do that. When you

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Speaker 1: are unsure and have lots of questions, it's really important

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Speaker 1: to lean into the networks that you've created, that your

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Speaker 1: family and your organizations have created so that you can

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Speaker 1: get some support. So if you're feeling uncertain, not sure

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Speaker 1: of next steps, make sure that you're actually using all

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Speaker 1: of your resources and your alumni. You are a new

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Speaker 1: member of your alumni association, and so make sure that

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Speaker 1: you are looking into people who are doing things that

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Speaker 1: you're interested in and ask questions and see if they

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Speaker 1: can connect you with different opportunities or or their workshops

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Speaker 1: or other things that you can get involved with to

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Speaker 1: help you get a little bit more clarity about your

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Speaker 1: next steps. But again, I do want you to know

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Speaker 1: that it is completely okay to not know at this stage.

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Speaker 1: At any point, I really want you to go back

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Speaker 1: to the affirmations that I shared in the beginning, because

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Speaker 1: when we are feeling a little unsettled, a little unsure,

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Speaker 1: affirmations can be really helpful to help to ground us.

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Speaker 1: And so go back to the ones that I've offered,

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Speaker 1: but I also invite you to create your own affirmations

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Speaker 1: that can be helpful to you and grounding in this moment.

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Speaker 1: A couple of years ago, we actually recorded a tbgu

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Speaker 1: A Therapy for Black Girls University episode called the Growing

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Speaker 1: Pains of Graduation, where two recent graduates talked all about

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Speaker 1: this transition in their lives. And I think that that

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Speaker 1: would be a great listen for you as well. Again,

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Speaker 1: you know that you are not alone in any of

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Speaker 1: the things that you are feeling, and you are still

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Speaker 1: worthy of all the care and consideration and compassion, especially

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Speaker 1: at this transition in your life. I hope that this

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Speaker 1: summer is one where you lean fully into playing in

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Speaker 1: continuing to build connections that will serve you well throughout

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Speaker 1: the rest of your life. And I hope that you

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Speaker 1: are actually able to enjoy and celebrate in this moment,

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Speaker 1: because even if you don't know the next steps, it's

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Speaker 1: still a big deal that you have arrived here, and

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Speaker 1: so do make sure that you are taking some time

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Speaker 1: to celebrate yourself right now, to celebrate with the people

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Speaker 1: who got there with you, and then know that it

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Speaker 1: is okay that even if you don't know, the next

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Speaker 1: steps will fall into place exactly as they should. So,

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Speaker 1: if you are a recent graduate, we'd love to hear

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Speaker 1: a little bit about your experiences. Please share them with

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Speaker 1: us in the comments section or tag us at TVGUS University.

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Speaker 1: We'd love to hear about your experiences, the experiences of

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Speaker 1: you and your friends as you are navigating this graduation

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Speaker 1: season and this transition in your life. This episode was

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Speaker 1: produced by Elise Ellis, Inde Chubu and Tyree Rush. Editing

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Speaker 1: was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for

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Speaker 1: joining me for this conversation. We'll check in with you

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Speaker 1: again next month. Take good care,