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Speaker 1: Thank you for You're coming back. Part two is underway.

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Speaker 2: You win to housing as a freshman, you come back

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Speaker 2: your sophomore year, and you have some issues. We start

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Speaker 2: the season off with, well, it's reported that Johnny Manziel

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Speaker 2: signed five four thousand items and this and that allegedly

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Speaker 2: allegedly allegedly Johnny side four thousand items for free. So

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Speaker 2: John here, you got you? Why put yourself in that

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Speaker 2: situation where it can be allegedly.

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Speaker 3: I gotta head on my shoulders. Man, I'm smart enough

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Speaker 3: to know what's going around me. I'm seeing the money

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Speaker 3: fly around me like I'm not walking through that same bookstore,

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Speaker 3: watching those number two jerseys fly off the shelf, break

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Speaker 3: me off.

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Speaker 4: Where I cut.

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Speaker 3: It's everywhere else for everybody else. Yes, I got seven

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Speaker 3: hundred dollars a month coming in on stipend. That ain't

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Speaker 3: enough for me.

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Speaker 4: To do it? You mean selling bands of money company?

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Speaker 3: I needs seventy bands, seven seventy How the hell I am?

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Speaker 3: I travel to Miami with seven bands? What are we

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Speaker 3: doing with seven bands?

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Speaker 4: Here? I need seventy? Wow? Let me ask you this.

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Speaker 2: Let's just say, for the sake of argument, when Johnny

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Speaker 2: Manziel his Heisman Trophy season and the season after the nil.

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Speaker 4: Isn't existence how much Johnny how much Johnny Football.

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Speaker 3: Get Probably ten million a year, I could have done

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Speaker 3: five on my own with the Instagram. I could have

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Speaker 3: done five million a year on my own just to

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Speaker 3: the people and connections I had on my phone. That's

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Speaker 3: what a lot of people don't understand is during this

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Speaker 3: time and during this rise, and a lot of where

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Speaker 3: my downfall probably came from is you know, I get

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Speaker 3: on my phone and get on Twitter and be like, yo,

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Speaker 3: Shannon Sharp, just follow me, Come on, James Harden Drake

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Speaker 3: Lebron and you partied with him. I'm a I'm a

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Speaker 3: DM away from being Rockets courtsided. I'll be there in

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Speaker 3: an hour and a half. My access that I had

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Speaker 3: to the world and people that I wanted to be

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Speaker 3: around was limitless, or just my cell phone in a

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Speaker 3: house and college station.

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Speaker 2: Had Johnny Manziel been a little bit more discreet, you

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Speaker 2: probably still could have gotten that ten But because ig

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Speaker 2: and you posted it, you ad lib and you all

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Speaker 2: these places with the star.

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Speaker 1: They're like, man ain't nowhere here.

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Speaker 2: No college athlete have that kind of access unless he getting.

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Speaker 4: Broke off my family's rich.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so is that. And see you played to

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Speaker 2: it because you could use that. You know Johnny doing that. Man,

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Speaker 2: Johnny wouldn't take no money. His family rich, Well, little

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Speaker 2: did they know Johnny ain't worth fifty million dollars like

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Speaker 2: being reported.

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Speaker 4: Correct.

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Speaker 3: So I wasn't discreet at that point in my life.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't calculated. I wasn't precise in how I was moving.

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Speaker 3: I was nineteen years old. I don't know nothing about

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Speaker 3: the real way of the world. I don't know nothing

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Speaker 3: about that happens in Miami. I'm a young naive kid

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Speaker 3: out here trying to get a bag on my own, right.

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Speaker 3: I don't know nothing, and I can't tell my parents,

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Speaker 3: can't tell my coaches, don't got nobody to bounce this

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Speaker 3: information off of. And this is the point where I

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Speaker 3: start like reclusing to myself and like a big problem

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Speaker 3: in my life, Shannon has been. I wake up every

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Speaker 3: day for the last ten twelve years and do exactly

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Speaker 3: as I please and exactly as I want every single day.

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Speaker 3: And as I'm moving forward in my life right now,

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Speaker 3: I believe that as a man in life, to humble

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Speaker 3: yourself and to be able to get to where you

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Speaker 3: want to go. You have to do things that you

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Speaker 3: don't want to do right, You have to do things

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Speaker 3: that make you uncomformfortable. You can't just wake up and

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Speaker 3: go down this path of Lottie Da. I'm gonna do

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Speaker 3: everything as I please in that moment of time. That's

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Speaker 3: gonna make you soft, that's gonna make you you got

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Speaker 3: all these things that come with that. In my opinion,

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Speaker 3: if you go out and put yourself in uncomfortable situations,

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Speaker 3: if you go out and work hard for what you want,

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Speaker 3: which isn't the most glorified way all the time. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's not fun to go work hard and put your

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Speaker 3: time and your effort into something, especially something you may

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Speaker 3: not really love truly deep down to your core. So

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Speaker 3: you know what I've learned in life is, you know,

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Speaker 3: make yourself uncomfortable, two things that you don't want to

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Speaker 3: do to help others, you know, be selfless, find a

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Speaker 3: way to give back more than just thinking about yourself.

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Speaker 3: And I'm sitting here today saying, at nineteen years old,

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Speaker 3: I was only about self. You know that first year

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Speaker 3: as my heisman year, there was a lot less of that.

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Speaker 3: I have my camaraderie with the team, and I was

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Speaker 3: a leader. I was there for my dogs. And then as

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Speaker 3: that shifts, I became a bad teammate, I became a

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Speaker 3: bad role model. I became a bad example for what

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Speaker 3: a Texas A and M University football player should be

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Speaker 3: and an ambassador for my school at that point in time.

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Speaker 3: And I still to this day hold a lot of

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Speaker 3: shame about things that I did from nineteen to twenty seven,

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Speaker 3: twenty eight years old, shame shannon to where I couldn't

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Speaker 3: sleep at night, to where I went into the LA

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Speaker 3: and the Hollywood Hills and I hid hid from everybody

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Speaker 3: except the TMZ cameras in the middle of the night.

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Speaker 3: And that for me is taking a decade to come

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Speaker 3: to terms what happened in my life and what I

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Speaker 3: did to myself, because at the end of the day,

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Speaker 3: I don't have anybody to blame but myself. My mom

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Speaker 3: and dad didn't raise me to be that, and I

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Speaker 3: coached someone to coach Kingsbury or any of those guys

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Speaker 3: at Texas A and M didn't raise me to be

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Speaker 3: that way. My teammate sure as hell didn't push me

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Speaker 3: down that path of being there.

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Speaker 4: So why did it happen?

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Speaker 3: You know that was the question that have taken me

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Speaker 3: a decade to find out what makes me who I

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Speaker 3: am and coming to terms and accepting who I am

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Speaker 3: the good Okay, great, that's awesome, that's unequivocally me the bad. Okay,

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Speaker 3: Let's find out and identify what that is and be

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Speaker 3: better bit by bit, day by day to ensure that what.

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Speaker 4: Happened in the past it ain't gonna happen again moving forward.

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Speaker 2: If Johnny Football persona had never been created, do you

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Speaker 2: still go down that path?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I do without a doubt, from that day in Kerrville,

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Speaker 3: you know, from getting to there and being that guy

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Speaker 3: and like getting a rise out of it and getting

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Speaker 3: notoriety and people coming around you.

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Speaker 4: It's fame is a it's a drug.

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Speaker 1: It's addictive.

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Speaker 4: Oh, it's a high. It's just chase the dragon of fame.

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Speaker 3: Man, you chase the dragon a clout and it is very,

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Speaker 3: very addictive.

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Speaker 4: And it is a problem that I dealt with in

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Speaker 4: my life.

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Speaker 3: And if you would have asked me in twenty fourteen

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Speaker 3: or fifteen, I'd have been like, nah, because for a

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Speaker 3: long time I didn't see myself as the true level

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Speaker 3: of fame of what I really was who damned you.

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Speaker 1: Out for those autograph signing.

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Speaker 3: Somebody damned jobs when they got stuck with a lot

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Speaker 3: of merch a lot of stuff that they couldn't sell.

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Speaker 3: And then from there they got stuck with maybe like

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Speaker 3: twenty thousand dollars worth of product, and the compliance department

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Speaker 3: was cracking down on indie autographs to run eBay and

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Speaker 3: this and that, so they lost their avenue of how

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Speaker 3: to get rid of their product right, and they got stuck.

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Speaker 3: And the guy went to the University of Texas was

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Speaker 3: in Houston. He blew the whistle and then it all

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Speaker 3: started to crumble down.

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Speaker 4: And it happened quick.

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Speaker 2: If you'd have had somebody behind the scenes working because

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Speaker 2: Texas say and them is those boosters. They want what

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Speaker 2: you gave them. You gave them a Hidsman Trophy. You

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Speaker 2: almost led them to a national, you know, a national championship.

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Speaker 2: If you'd have had somebody working behind the scenes, he said, look,

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Speaker 2: let's keep this kid happy. This is all it's going

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Speaker 2: to take. Because you mentioned your dad, you said told

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Speaker 2: Kevin something. You didn't know anything about this. For three

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Speaker 2: mil that's a drop of the bucket considering that you

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Speaker 2: could have made ten so I'll say, like, for five million,

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Speaker 2: he'll stay, won't ever say a word about this, And

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Speaker 2: you say, Kevin something looked at him like, bro, we're

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Speaker 2: gonna keep this train rolling Without Johnny.

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Speaker 3: I needed Cliff. I needed Kingsbury for that situation to

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Speaker 3: go in a perfect way.

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Speaker 1: So you need a Cliff to be your offensive coordinator.

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Speaker 3: Because he left, I needed Cliff to be my offensive coordinator,

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Speaker 3: and I needed a Cliff to be that role model

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Speaker 3: in my life. And when I got to out of

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Speaker 3: whack because that first year, my freshman red shirt, my

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Speaker 3: heisman year, I was skirting the line. But every time

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Speaker 3: I started to get here, he would pull you back,

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Speaker 3: every time focus and I looked him from that day

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Speaker 3: he came on the high school field to come look

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Speaker 3: at me and tell me he couldn't offer me. I

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Speaker 3: had a trust with him and a bomb with him,

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Speaker 3: and I still have to this day. And when he left,

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Speaker 3: the fuck sucked.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at this.

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Speaker 2: They said they sold forty five million, number two Texas

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Speaker 2: A and m.

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Speaker 3: Adidas church maybe forty five million in revenue, forty five million,

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Speaker 3: a lot of jerseys.

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Speaker 2: Texas well, okay forty five And so if Dady gave you.

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Speaker 2: Say here, Johnny, were gonna get you five percent, I'll

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Speaker 2: take ten, Damn, Johnny, could five percent is morech better

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Speaker 2: than what you get.

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Speaker 4: You're right, You're right, You're right. Okay, five five.

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Speaker 2: But when you see when you see Texas ad them

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Speaker 2: making forty five million in Jersey sales and Johnny Manziel

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Speaker 2: is getting seven seven hundred dollars in a stipend, that

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Speaker 2: doesn't say it right with you?

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Speaker 4: Does It didn't?

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Speaker 2: So you start concocting the way how you can get

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Speaker 2: you how you can get some of that pie.

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Speaker 4: Exactly, I got my pie. But you knew, you knew

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Speaker 4: that it was wrong.

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Speaker 2: You knew that you could get yourself in trouble and

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Speaker 2: potentially the university.

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Speaker 3: But at that point in time, what, Yes, I knew

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Speaker 3: that it was against the rules. I know that I'm

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Speaker 3: putting myself in a position that may not work out

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Speaker 3: well for me or my university. But at that time,

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Speaker 3: once again going back to selfish Johnny Manziel, I'm thinking

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Speaker 3: about how they get that. I'm trying how do I

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Speaker 3: get that stipend bumped up? Type of like I'm thinking

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Speaker 3: about the money at this point, Like I don't expect myself,

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Speaker 3: even after winning the Heisman Trophy to be able to

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Speaker 3: go get drafted. I didn't know if that was a

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Speaker 3: sure thing to go to the NFL draft or be

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Speaker 3: able to make any money. So I know what I

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Speaker 3: needed then I needed more money. And you know with

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Speaker 3: that money that I got as well, you know, I

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Speaker 3: took care.

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Speaker 4: Of my dogs in the locker room.

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Speaker 3: You know, in a big college locker room, there's dudes

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Speaker 3: in there that sending half their stipend or all their

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Speaker 3: stiping back home and they're taking six to go boxes

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Speaker 3: out of the athletic facility going to the apartment and

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Speaker 3: there's no lights on, you see, And this is what

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Speaker 3: I see. People come from all different walks of life

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Speaker 3: that walk into these locker rooms. You don't come from Kerville, Texas,

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Speaker 3: from the suburbs all the time. Yeah, they come from

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Speaker 3: the trenches.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 3: And I bond with people that come from nothing. Me

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Speaker 3: and Mike Evans like this. He's from Galveston, Texas, born

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Speaker 3: on the island. It is no joke down there. Where

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Speaker 3: he's from is a different way of life. And like

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Speaker 3: I've seen because of the sport that I played, how

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Speaker 3: all these people come in from different walks of life,

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Speaker 3: and it's not as peachy as you think it may be.

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Speaker 3: It's not all rainbows and butterflies out there for some

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Speaker 3: of these kids that come in and it's tough. And

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Speaker 3: I took care of my dogs. Right now, all this

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Speaker 3: money didn't just go to me. A lot of it did.

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Speaker 3: But if my boys needed something, they got it. And

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Speaker 3: if I wasn't there at that club, that tab at

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Speaker 3: the club.

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Speaker 1: Was picked up.

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Speaker 4: Always did your parents know you was getting this money? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, cause you breaking them off too? Huh? How you

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Speaker 2: lay break mom and dad?

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Speaker 4: Though? Mom and dad are doing fine.

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Speaker 3: Mom and dad are living at the biggest golf course

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Speaker 3: in town. Dad's got his best job he's ever had.

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Speaker 4: Right, what you want? Did you have him get the job? No?

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Speaker 4: My dad's independent on his own to be able to

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Speaker 4: go do that.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure my name and what was going on, of course,

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Speaker 3: might have helped it, but you know, I was finding

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Speaker 3: out and it was like hard to just be like,

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Speaker 3: what do you do with this cash? You know what

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Speaker 3: I can't? Well, you got your book a flight? How

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Speaker 3: are you gonna go somewhere?

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Speaker 4: Like? What do you do with caw? Do you check

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Speaker 4: into a hotel. How you do this? So it was like,

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Speaker 4: do you have any credit cards? You ain't getting no

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Speaker 4: credit card, Johnny.

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Speaker 3: I ain't know nothing out of credit card until I

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Speaker 3: got to Cleveland, Ohio.

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Speaker 4: I know nothing.

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Speaker 3: I would go buy American Express gift cards for a

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Speaker 3: thousand bucks in cash and then have that, and then

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Speaker 3: I got to keep track of how much is on

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Speaker 3: every balance and stuff I'm going through AMEX gift cards

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Speaker 3: like this going out of style. So I didn't know

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Speaker 3: anything about a credit card. I don't know anything about

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Speaker 3: credit nothing thing.

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Speaker 2: Let's all Reggie Reggie Bush, similar situation. I guess his

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Speaker 2: parents took some money over there, were living in a house,

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Speaker 2: and he ended up having his Heisman trophy taken from me.

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Speaker 1: Do you believe Reggie should get a higemotrophy back?

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Speaker 4: Without a doubt? It's legal now.

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Speaker 3: What Reggie did then is legal now that somebody could

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Speaker 3: do it wouldn't make him ineligible now, even though it

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Speaker 3: did at the time, and in the grand scheme of things,

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Speaker 3: I probably did way worse than Reggie. And everybody's gonna

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Speaker 3: sit here and be like, why does he still have

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Speaker 3: his heis member?

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Speaker 4: Reggie doesn't.

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Speaker 3: I can tell you the exact reason why I explained

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Speaker 3: this on Twitter and people didn't really understand it, but

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Speaker 3: the way I was told because the last three four

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Speaker 3: years I've been walking back into the Heisman, I've been

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Speaker 3: rallying the.

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Speaker 4: Boy, talking with the guys.

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Speaker 3: There's chatter, there's chirp going around that nobody in this

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Speaker 3: crew and this Heisman fraternity, it sits right with us

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Speaker 3: that Reggie ain't up there with us every year.

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Speaker 4: It makes every one of.

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Speaker 3: Us sitting there choice myth, all these guys that I

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Speaker 3: sit next to on it. He deserves to be on

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Speaker 3: that stage with us every year, unequivocally, without a doubt,

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Speaker 3: without a question, one of the best college football players

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Speaker 3: to ever lace them up, and a very very good

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Speaker 3: argument toe to be the best ever in college football.

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Speaker 1: Do you believe he'll get his trophy back?

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Speaker 3: What I've been told is that Reggie can't get his

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Speaker 3: Heisman trophy back until the NCAA makes his records and

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Speaker 3: his accolades on the field for that year reinstated. As

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Speaker 3: we know what the NCAAA is now, what do you

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Speaker 3: think the chances.

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Speaker 4: Are that they're going to do the right thing?

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Speaker 3: Not looking likely, not looking likely, And it's sad and

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Speaker 3: from the top down from the NCAA, they've been so

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Speaker 3: wrong with so many things that you would hope that

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Speaker 3: one day they would do the right thing and do this.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to continue to do everything that I can

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Speaker 3: in my power, whatever that may be. I'm just the

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Speaker 3: little guy. I'm just the old first freshman to win it.

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Speaker 3: I don't have no I ain't got the clout like

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Speaker 3: I used to be able to really make that happen.

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Speaker 3: But for what I can in my part, I will

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Speaker 3: always stand on this table right here for Reggie Bush

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Speaker 3: and do anything that I can in my power to

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Speaker 3: make sure that it's possible for him to even get

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Speaker 3: his trophy back.

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Speaker 2: What's your best guess as to why coach Slaban walked

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Speaker 2: away from the game still coaching at the highest level.

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Speaker 3: I think the NIL has changed everything for what he's known,

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Speaker 3: you know. I think it's made it so much more

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Speaker 3: hands on and continually having to stay on these guys

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Speaker 3: because of how many people are in their ear. It's

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Speaker 3: not it's not the firm handshake anymore. It's not the

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Speaker 3: old school ways in the world where your word is

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Speaker 3: your bond and this and that is a very wishy washy,

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Speaker 3: where's the money today?

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Speaker 4: Right? And if it's today, somebody who can now bid you?

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Speaker 4: Where's your loyalty? Just sixteen seventeen year old kids were

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Speaker 4: talking about here, right.

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Speaker 3: So in my opinion, Saban doesn't want to deal with

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Speaker 3: it anymore, and what better way than to go out

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Speaker 3: the way that he did. You know, from what I've

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Speaker 3: seen and what I saw in the media, he's still

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Speaker 3: very involved in the program. I mean, he retires and

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Speaker 3: then goes back into the office. It worked the next day.

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Speaker 3: So Nick Saban is hit. He's him. He is exactly

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Speaker 3: what you expect him to be. And when I met him,

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Speaker 3: you know, in New York that second year of twenty thirteen,

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Speaker 3: when I went back, I remember him walking into the room.

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Speaker 4: Aj mccerrn was a finalist, I think, and I don't think.

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Speaker 4: I think Aj was a finalist.

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Speaker 3: And he walks into the room and it's just like

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Speaker 3: I remember, like this cloud, huge aura of a person

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Speaker 3: walking in. You know, he's not that big, but like

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Speaker 3: the way he carries himself and the aura that he

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Speaker 3: has around him is like nobody you're ever.

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Speaker 4: Going to come in contact with.

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Speaker 3: And I remember him walking into the room and shaking

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Speaker 3: his hand and talking to him for a second, and

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Speaker 3: then that conversation kind of fades and we go on

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Speaker 3: about then and for the rest of my life, I'll

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Speaker 3: never forget that moment and him walking in that guy.

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Speaker 2: Is it a situation now with the nil No matter

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Speaker 2: how great a coach is. You see in basketball, coach

355
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Speaker 2: k walks away, Roy Williams walks away some of the

356
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Speaker 2: pantheon greats. It's like, so, now it's really a level

357
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Speaker 2: playing field because Alabama is like, Okay, we're gonna put

358
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Speaker 2: you in the NFL. But now somebody say, well, they

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Speaker 2: gonna put you in the NFL, but we're gonna give

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Speaker 2: you two million dollars. So now it has it leveled

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Speaker 2: a playing field or has it created an unequal playing field?

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Speaker 3: There was already an unequal playing field. I feel like,

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Speaker 3: so if anything, it's given the littler guys a chance.

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Speaker 3: It gives the Colorado's right, Yeah, get a guy like Prime,

365
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Speaker 3: take your program from here to here.

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Speaker 4: You're getting a little bit more level. You're at the

367
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Speaker 4: transfer portal.

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Speaker 3: You know, Colorado can now take people from Alabama or

369
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Speaker 3: Georgia that don't want to go there, just based off

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Speaker 3: the transfer portal, So I think it's brought it up

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Speaker 3: and made a little even you know, college fotball goes

372
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,480
Speaker 3: in those waves of like you got your Florida Dynasty,

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Speaker 3: your USC one, you have Texas with a little run

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Speaker 3: in there. You know, you got your oh House today,

375
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Speaker 3: you got your Bama's, Bama Georgia, you have your runs

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Speaker 3: of Like I didn't want to go on this whole

377
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Speaker 3: sec tangent all biased, it is what it is. So,

378
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Speaker 3: I mean, there has always been teams every year throughout

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Speaker 3: the year that are a little bit above and below

380
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Speaker 3: the others. You can always have the little guy that

381
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Speaker 3: comes up and has that magical run. But for the

382
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 3: most part, you know, it is a little lopsided. It

383
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Speaker 3: is hard for those acrons or bowling like it is

384
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 3: harder for those D one lower schools to ever really

385
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 3: get in the conversation. And in my opinion, I think

386
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Speaker 3: this is a better way or only way that they

387
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Speaker 3: can really ever even recruit on the same level as

388
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Speaker 3: anybody else, and that'll mostly be through the transfer portal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but do you see these teams now you see it,

390
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,479
Speaker 2: probably Alabama and Ohio State and Michigan and all these teams.

391
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Speaker 2: They're like they're probably going to their boostools or they

392
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Speaker 2: going to the college. They look, man, we gotta have

393
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Speaker 2: a fund. We gotta have twenty five thirty million dollars

394
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Speaker 2: in order to get these kids. And now you see

395
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Speaker 2: look and talking to coach Prime is like, you know,

396
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Speaker 2: you see guys going into the portal. Because these guys

397
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Speaker 2: have already been in college and so you kind of know, Okay,

398
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 2: they understand the college. They got to go to class,

399
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,679
Speaker 2: they got to go to study hall. They've already played

400
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Speaker 2: college ball and played at a high level.

401
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Speaker 4: So it's a little.

402
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 2: Easier for you to break a guy off that's coming

403
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 2: that's in the portal because you know, look at Addison,

404
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 2: he wins the ballitna call.

405
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Speaker 4: Any changing school. That's unheard of.

406
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Speaker 2: You would have never got a guy that wins the

407
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Speaker 2: buckets or win an award do you award like that,

408
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 2: the girls skill or whatever the case may be.

409
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 4: The Thorpe and transfer school.

410
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Speaker 3: Johnny, what if I told you that after Cliff Kingsbury

411
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Speaker 3: left and I won the Heisman, that I thought about

412
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Speaker 3: maybe going somewhere else too.

413
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Speaker 2: How much it was it gonna take for them to

414
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 2: break you off, for you to even get for you

415
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Speaker 2: to even consider it.

416
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Speaker 3: I don't know at that point in time. You know,

417
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Speaker 3: I was thinking about like, you know, I love d

418
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 3: A and M and I, but this way that like.

419
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Speaker 4: Could you feel the shift? Could I feel the shift?

420
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Speaker 4: I don't know.

421
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 3: I could see that I was getting used a little

422
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,719
Speaker 3: bit into what they needed me to do to have

423
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 3: their master plan right. A and M had their vision

424
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 3: of what they needed with this hype and the success

425
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 3: to get the program as a whole where they needed

426
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Speaker 3: to be. Unfortunately, where they needed to go and where

427
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 3: I needed to go and grow as a human being

428
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 3: and as a football player weren't always step in step.

429
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 3: They weren't always aligned. Do I have hard feelings about

430
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 3: it or do I feel any kind of way about

431
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 3: it right now?

432
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Speaker 4: Absolutely not. I love my school. I love what happened.

433
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Speaker 3: I love walking back into that stadium and feeling like

434
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,400
Speaker 3: I had a piece of putting one of these bricks

435
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 3: in the walls outside and I can carry myself and

436
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 3: say that things. I don't think it's the House of Johnny,

437
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 3: but that's what they call it. They can call it

438
00:20:54,600 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 3: what they want. Like it's disrespectful to Mike Up, that's

439
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 3: disrespectful to Jake Matthews.

440
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 2: Well, Mike Evins. They didn't call Mike Evans the Mike football.

441
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 2: They call you Johnny football. They didn't call Jake Matthew

442
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 2: the Luke Joko. Okay, So I get football.

443
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 3: I get the praise for what we do as a

444
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 3: team because my player is special on the field.

445
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question. When you're a little kid,

446
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,439
Speaker 2: they're like, all right, who want to play online?

447
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 4: Raise your hand? Who want to play dB?

448
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 2: Raise your hand? Who want to play quarterback? Exactly? They

449
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 2: chose the position that.

450
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 4: So it's a positional things you're giving the quarterback. Then, yeah,

451
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 4: it's a rightful piece of the pie.

452
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 2: Which one of those guys was flying private? Probably just okay?

453
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 2: Who is playing jewelry cards?

454
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 4: Probably just me? Yeah?

455
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 2: Well who was hanging with Drake and James Flinton Courts

456
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,440
Speaker 2: out of James Harden. That's definitely yes, here's the half

457
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 2: of Johnny Bill.

458
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 4: Okay, So you put it that way. I mean, you

459
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 4: ain't never gonna get me to admit it too.

460
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: But help me understand this, John.

461
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure out how you get suspended for

462
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 2: half a game.

463
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 1: I mean that, like I almost suspend you from school.

464
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 2: But you don't have to come to first, second to third,

465
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 2: but you get to come fourth, fifth, and sixth.

466
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 4: You know what I asked.

467
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 3: I asked if I could be suspended for the second

468
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 3: half because we'd be up so much in the first right.

469
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 4: They said no.

470
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 2: I mean, so, what was it like knowing that you're

471
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 2: not gonna play the first half and then you got

472
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,119
Speaker 2: to come in?

473
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 1: I mean, you come in cold the second half.

474
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 3: Nerve racking, really, really the height of any nerves that

475
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 3: I've ever had, other than that Bengals game that I

476
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:37,199
Speaker 3: started my first game in the NFL. Crazy nervous, so

477
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 3: much the first play that we drew up this beautiful

478
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 3: bunch formation with the outside motion coming in, and we

479
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 3: knew we were gonna get him in the trail, and

480
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 3: we knew it split. We knew we'd do the scissor

481
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 3: off in quarters. He's gonna take that corner for sure,

482
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 3: and we're gonna bust right down the middle. I catch

483
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 3: the ball, take three steps and I'm seeing red at

484
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 3: this point. I dropped back and the line opens up,

485
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,399
Speaker 3: and I just see this one linebacker and I'm just

486
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 3: looking at him down in the eyes and like I'm.

487
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 4: Not even seeing nothing back here, right me? Man, you

488
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 4: come on.

489
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 3: And that was how I started my games in college.

490
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,360
Speaker 3: And we started with so many running plays because when

491
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 3: I got hit the first time and I got a pop,

492
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 3: it settled me down to the point of where I

493
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 3: could go on about our offensive scheme.

494
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 4: For the first day.

495
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 3: So going into that game, you know, suspending the first half,

496
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 3: coming back out the first play of the second half,

497
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 3: we draw up this beautiful touchdown and it works. But

498
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 3: I'm just like so laser focused and locked in on

499
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,919
Speaker 3: getting hit so I can kind of settle down and

500
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: go and you know, that half went fine. I don't

501
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 3: think we played very good football, because it's hard to

502
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,640
Speaker 3: get that you know, flow going when you're not playing

503
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 3: in the first half and come in in the second.

504
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 3: But really, really the almost the pinnacle of my nerves

505
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 3: of college football in that setting.

506
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 2: But Johnny, you kept signing, you kept signing autographs, you

507
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 2: kept partying. Did you feel those things helped you? I mean,

508
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 2: did you feel that you could that you fun and

509
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,640
Speaker 2: you played better while doing those things.

510
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,640
Speaker 3: That's a great question, That's a really good question, because

511
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,159
Speaker 3: at that point in time in my life, I felt

512
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 3: like the harder I partied the better that I played.

513
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 3: How my freshman year, Tuesdays and Thursdays were Tuesdays were

514
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,439
Speaker 3: beer with the baseball boys the house playing games, and

515
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 3: Thursdays we're hitting North Kate, going to the town trunk

516
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: as you could get with all the dogs. Friday was

517
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 3: the walk through. I go there, we walk through at

518
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 3: ten am in the morning, dying. It's been like a

519
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 3: looking steel, like a liquor store. And then I would

520
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 3: go through that walk through and you can ask anybody

521
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 3: that was on that team and I hit those walk through.

522
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,640
Speaker 4: It's hard handing the fake.

523
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,120
Speaker 3: I'm taking off down the sideline for twenty thirty yards

524
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 3: running back.

525
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:46,479
Speaker 4: I'm sweating it out.

526
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: You try it out.

527
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 4: Oh yeah.

528
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 3: Then we get on the plane, right get to the

529
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 3: hotel meetings. This is the system, and we're winning right now.

530
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 3: We're eleven and two. We'd beat Bama. And this whole

531
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 3: year is Tuesday, Thursday, bang bang all week every time,

532
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 3: like clockwork, every game of.

533
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 4: The season that year. And I'm getting better as it

534
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 4: goes on.

535
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 3: I ain't losing a step until that first offseason in

536
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 3: twenty thirteen. That's when I'm starting to smoke more weed.

537
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,879
Speaker 3: That's when I'm partying a lot more. And then from there,

538
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 3: I'm not taking care of myself in the way that

539
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:23,479
Speaker 3: I did the year before.

540
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 4: To go be special and my number is my second

541
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 4: year totally.

542
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: We're better.

543
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 4: We're better.

544
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 3: That's what I needed to do at that point in time.

545
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,959
Speaker 3: I needed to get you, guys or whoever it was

546
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 3: on first take or this and that talking in the

547
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 3: right direction, that this is these are my you know,

548
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 3: this guy went back and did better than he did

549
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,479
Speaker 3: the year before. So therefore, what is the next step.

550
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 3: The next step is the league, the show, the big thing.

551
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 3: And that's where I was at my life. I felt

552
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 3: like I did enough for me. Okay, I was living

553
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 3: my life at that point in time to appease what

554
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,439
Speaker 3: other people expected from me or wanted from me.

555
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 4: I wasn't living really in the right way.

556
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 3: I mean obviously I wasn't, but like I was there

557
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 3: to like tell people what they wanted to hear, and

558
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 3: like had these people around me. This is how you

559
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 3: need to carry yourself. And in that I lost who

560
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 3: I was. And when you lose who you are, you

561
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 3: resort to other things in your life to numb that

562
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 3: pain or to find yourself. And in that I found

563
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 3: smoking weed in that I found partying, and that kind

564
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 3: of took over from there. Twenty thirteen on you know,

565
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 3: there's no reason. There's no reason other than exactly what

566
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 3: my behavior was. Twenty thirteen on why twenty fourteen and

567
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 3: fifteen in Cleveland didn't work out. There's no secret that

568
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 3: I was doing the same thing on a Thursday night

569
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 3: in Cleveland that I had been doing for the Thursday

570
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 3: night in College Station number one.

571
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 4: Because I'm the backup.

572
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 3: I just got handed all this money and I'm not

573
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 3: taking it seriously enough because I don't know how to

574
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 3: be a profession I had no idea. Now I get

575
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 3: thrown into this organization with the head coach that wants

576
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,199
Speaker 3: nothing to do with me from the day that I

577
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 3: get there, with the defensive staff that our first day

578
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 3: of offensive install, day one, they're running six DB's on

579
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 3: the field. In practice. I can't even point a fucking mike.

580
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 3: I ain't never taking a snap under center, But Jimmy

581
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 3: O'Neill or whatever and Mike Petton are going to come

582
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,159
Speaker 3: out to the field and throw fucking eight dbs on

583
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 3: the field the first day of an install. Talk about

584
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 3: your confidence getting busted quick. Now, I feel like I

585
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 3: can't do what I was great at in Cleveland, and

586
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: I'm partying and doing what I thought made me great.

587
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 3: So you see how all these things are compounding together

588
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 3: to equal a huge disaster.

589
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: You didn't feel you could do in Cleveland what you

590
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: had been great at Texas Lea.

591
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 4: Not at all. I don't know for no confidence.

592
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 2: I hear you mentioned you said on Tuesday night we

593
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: had this with the boat with the baseball team. Thursday night,

594
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,679
Speaker 2: we did this with the other boys. I ain't here

595
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 2: nothing by no school. I was a good student.

596
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 4: How I what.

597
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 3: My dad when I was in high school, in middle

598
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 3: school growing up, if I didn't have a's or b's

599
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 3: on my report card and that first little six week

600
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 3: grade in period comes out of the three week mark,

601
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 3: if I got to C on that thing, I'm grounded

602
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 3: until I can get an A and B on that

603
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 3: next report card.

604
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 4: That was my rules forever. So if I got to.

605
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 3: See you're grounded, you ain't going nowhere, You're doing chores

606
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 3: around the house, I'm gonna show you what your education

607
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 3: is going to mean to you. So when I got

608
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 3: to A and M, I went from a business major

609
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 3: sports management and then when I went to Heisman, I

610
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 3: go to AG Leadership and Development. That's a little bit

611
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 3: different than the Maze Business School.

612
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, so now I can do my classes online. I

613
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 4: can do that like that was. The school was never

614
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 4: the problem for me.

615
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 3: If I applied myself in the slightest bid, I was

616
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 3: smart enough to be able to go in and do college.

617
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 3: I wasn't ever. I wasn't one of those guys that

618
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 3: needed to study hall or the this and that. And

619
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 3: I had a lady that was in our athletic department

620
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 3: named Lee Hood, and Miss Hood saved my life academically,

621
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 3: just keeping me focused on what it was and not

622
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 3: getting too far. And she was like a true mother

623
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 3: to me in that football program. And she is the

624
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 3: reason that I was able to even leave Texas A

625
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 3: and M and have an opportunity to go to the NFL.

626
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: And the thing is, Johnny, though, what I've learned is

627
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 2: that most good athletes, great athletes, can compartmentalize. And it

628
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 2: seems like you really great at compartmentalizing. Okay, party, I'm

629
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 2: a party, get school, get school, party, party, got practice, practice,

630
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 2: play play. You were able to do in each instance,

631
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 2: be it your absolute best or as you say it

632
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: on Thursday to Friday at your absolute worst.

633
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 4: Yep.

634
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: I think I was able to do that with the

635
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 3: people that I had around me, you know, with the

636
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 3: lee Hood, with these coaches and like with the right

637
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 3: people that Texas Ay and them did have around right.

638
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 3: If they weren't there, I wouldn't have had a fighting

639
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 3: chance at all. But because of how special some of

640
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: the people were in that building, it gave me an

641
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 3: opportunity to flourish in the smallest of amounts.

642
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 4: When it comes to that stuff.

643
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 2: I'm looking at, I read this if, like the rumor was,

644
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 2: you came from oil money.

645
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 1: Did you have all money?

646
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 3: My great grandpa when they came over, took from Lebanon.

647
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 3: They founded found you know oil in East Texas, and

648
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 3: it very much was you know, my family.

649
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 4: Was very, very big, so my grandpa, he had like

650
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 4: six brothers and sisters. They hit this huge oil well.

651
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 3: So when I'm growing up, I don't even realize that

652
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,479
Speaker 3: we have a farm and tyler with a runway and

653
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 3: a hangar in the back and all this stuff.

654
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 4: I didn't even really know what it was. My grandpa.

655
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 3: Because of what my great grandpa had done, they had

656
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 3: the opportunity to be boys boys right take the planes.

657
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 3: They were big into bax seen. So like Jack Dempsey

658
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 3: was a huge like family friend of theirs.

659
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 4: You know.

660
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 3: They tell me stories about going on these hunts with

661
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 3: Mickey Mannle and Joe DiMaggio and all these guys, and

662
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 3: I've seen the pictures like it's as raal as it gets.

663
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 3: So you have this like what you saw for me

664
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 3: and the lifestyle that I was living, I think was

665
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 3: like minor le ingrained in me for what I saw

666
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 3: as a kid and what they were doing in the fifties, sixties, seventies.

667
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 2: So it wasn't a far reach for you to like

668
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 2: to have what you have because your family did have money.

669
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 2: So it wasn't a stretch for you to be flying

670
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 2: private and doing all that stuff because your family came

671
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 2: from money, so you could pass it off. My dad

672
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 2: gave me this, So my family gave me this, and

673
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: so the incident wouldn't even battle eye.

674
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 4: How could they prove it?

675
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 1: They couldn't because you had I just hold on.

676
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 2: Your dad said, well in twenty thirteen it said, it's

677
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 2: not garth books money, but it's a lot of money.

678
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 3: And I don't even know the full detail of it, right,

679
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 3: Like I got, you know, from eighteen years old, I'm

680
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 3: thrust onto the spotlight. Now I have my own life

681
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 3: that like I'm living. It's like separate from that. Like

682
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 3: family stuff, it's not as cohesive anymore.

683
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 4: Right.

684
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 3: The fame and everything that comes with what happened to

685
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 3: me will break a family apart very very quick. Who

686
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 3: we go into the game with, who gets these tickets?

687
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 3: It's all about the clout on all this stuff. So

688
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 3: we as a family were tested and tried throughout this

689
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 3: rise as well.

690
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 4: It wasn't just a me thing.

691
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 3: And that's what I didn't realize until I got cut

692
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 3: in Cleveland and I was a couple of years removed

693
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 3: from that, and I remember thinking and hearing from my mom, like,

694
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 3: you don't know how hard it is for us to

695
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 3: walk into a restaurant in East Texas. We're dealing with

696
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 3: the ramifications of your actions that are going on every day.

697
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 3: So when you're going out here acting like an asshole,

698
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 3: I got to walk into my grocery store and get

699
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 3: treated like one. And why is that faarred of your father?

700
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 3: And I hit me like a ton of bricks?

701
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 2: Is that where the change came because because you saw

702
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 2: the told. Not only would I mean, I don't know,

703
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 2: maybe you're the last person to see the toll that

704
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 2: it's taken on you, but when you hear your mom

705
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: tell you the tell the told that it's taken on

706
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 2: them because of your actions, and they shouldn't have to

707
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: suffer for what you're doing to yourself.

708
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 4: It's a start. That was the start of it.

709
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 3: It definitely wasn't definitely wasn't the like final thing that

710
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 3: got me to the point of what I'm being able

711
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 3: to do and sit here with you today.

712
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 4: I think that's a complete.

713
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 3: Understanding and self awareness of oneself. Okay, so I, without

714
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 3: a doubt, wholeheartedly know myself and what I've done good,

715
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 3: what I've done bad. I'm the only one that knows

716
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 3: the truth that I've seen through my eyes about everything.

717
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 3: So when I got to the point where I'm completely

718
00:33:55,400 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 3: detailed and honest about every situation and what went into it,

719
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 3: why I may have done that, that's a continuous like

720
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 3: evolution of a person that takes longer than five years,

721
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,240
Speaker 3: you know. And I don't think I'm a finished product

722
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 3: right now. I just think I'm onto something mentally that

723
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 3: is clicking with me, allowing me to be the person

724
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 3: I think I should have been. Is this all you of?

725
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 3: Was therapy involved a lot of self therapy? I mean

726
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,959
Speaker 3: a lot of times, and I mean twenty fourteen, after

727
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 3: my first season, I went and spent three months in

728
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 3: rehabing reading Pennsylvania, and I didn't have a normal off season.

729
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 3: I didn't get to like I needed to work on

730
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:39,439
Speaker 3: myself and at this time, like I learned a lot

731
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 3: through that, and it continuously learned as I went on.

732
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 3: And this is a you know, collection of ten years

733
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 3: of not therapy every day, not therapy every week, but

734
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 3: a lot of Is it with yourself?

735
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 4: You have to know who you are.

736
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 3: You know who you are, you know you do good,

737
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 3: you know what you do bad. You know what you

738
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 3: need your team for over here to help you with

739
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 3: to make you the best version of yourself. And for

740
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 3: a long time I've been independent in the sense that

741
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 3: I feel like I can do it all by myself,

742
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 3: when in reality I need family, I need friends. I

743
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 3: need my team of people who want nothing from me,

744
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 3: who want nothing but the best in love for me,

745
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 3: and people that I can trust. Because a lot of

746
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: time in the past I didn't have people around me

747
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 3: that I could trust, really genuinely, truly looking out for

748
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 3: my best interests.

749
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 2: Johnny, you mentioned that you partied, you liked to drink alcohol.

750
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 2: Was the heavier drugs involved other than alcohol in marijuana?

751
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, college? No, once you got to the league.

752
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 3: Yes, that's when the real like hiding and reclusing started.

753
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,320
Speaker 3: And man, I've given Cleveland. I've given Cleveland a really,

754
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 3: really hard time. And I think it's all more situation

755
00:35:56,160 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 3: than it is really the city itself. Being in a

756
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 3: fish bowl city like college station ate me up because

757
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 3: I couldn't move, I couldn't park my car the wrong way,

758
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 3: I couldn't do anything.

759
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,320
Speaker 4: I was always spotlight.

760
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 3: And then I go to Cleveland, I signed with Lebron

761
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 3: and math and then and now Lebron comes back and

762
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 3: I'm under Lebron's wing. So now this lamp heat lamp's

763
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 3: even hotter on me. I'm not playing, I don't got

764
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 3: confidence on the field, and now I'm taking out my

765
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 3: anger on my day to day like interaction my team.

766
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 3: I'm struggling but not letting anybody know. Right, So, like

767
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 3: my whole like ripe with Cleveland is not really anything

768
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 3: as what I made it to be. And I think

769
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 3: that's just the bitterness of like how things went and

770
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 3: me not realizing that I did it to myself for

771
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:47,439
Speaker 3: a long point in time.

772
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,720
Speaker 1: Do you remember the first time you tried hard drugs?

773
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,959
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, yeah for sure.

774
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 2: What was it about it that made you try it?

775
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 2: Did you think because I'm Johnny Football, I can handle this.

776
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 2: I can do something that you know what else has

777
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 2: been able to do do a hard drug and be

778
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 2: able to steal function and do everything I need to

779
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 2: do even though I tried this.

780
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,839
Speaker 3: Okay, that persona that I had on the football field

781
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,800
Speaker 3: of being able to have that confidence translated over into

782
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 3: the party scene as well. I'm the guy just like

783
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 3: I am on the field, in the club, in the streets.

784
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 3: So it's all in front of you if you want it,

785
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 3: and you're hanging around the wrong circles. It ain't hard

786
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 3: to find at all. So, you know, you get around

787
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 3: people who you think you look up to or this

788
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 3: or that, and then it just goes. And then it

789
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 3: kind of goes and it's snowballs and it keeps getting worse,

790
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 3: and you go from cocaine to oxy cotton to percocets

791
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 3: to mushrooms. I mean, I look at the mushrooms as

792
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 3: a different thing. Now that's not a good thing to say,

793
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,879
Speaker 3: But like the harder drugs, the drugs that like tear

794
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,839
Speaker 3: you down. I never did anything with needles, never did

795
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 3: anything like that. But the coke and the OxyS and

796
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 3: the percocet were very, very tumultuous in my life. And

797
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 3: like pop their had, especially the days of wandering around

798
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,439
Speaker 3: the Hollywood Hills. And it makes sense why you see

799
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 3: me so sporadic and like I was two hundred and

800
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 3: ten pounds when I left Cleveland. I was one hundred

801
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 3: and seventy pounds sitting in Vegas that August, that September, October.

802
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 4: Whatever it was later in that year. How you lose

803
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 4: forty pounds you're on a strict diet A blow.

804
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 2: Oh, I was about to say, only you don't want

805
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 2: either one of them. I mean, you lose forty pounds

806
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 2: in that length of time you on crack or it

807
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:27,720
Speaker 2: z empic.

808
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 4: So that's the new thing.

809
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 2: Now to Shae Toushe, you're right about that, bro.

810
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 3: You At that point in time, man, I would look

811
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 3: in the mirror and I didn't see myself any different

812
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 3: than when I was in Cleveland really until I stepped

813
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 3: on a scale at the Cosmopolitan Hotel in Las Vegas.

814
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 3: I didn't realize I lost forty pounds wow at all

815
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 3: And people were hitting me up like this, and I

816
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 3: remember these pictures came out and I was like, damn,

817
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 3: what am I doing? Whatever, We'll figure that out later.

818
00:38:58,920 --> 00:38:59,799
Speaker 3: Let's go again, Let's go.

819
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 2: So as an athlete, you're very competitive when you when

820
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: you when you do drugs, do you still have that

821
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 2: competitive nature? Like when you with your boys, You're like, man,

822
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 2: I ain't been let you one up me.

823
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 4: You can't.

824
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 3: I'm a tank when it comes to the party. I

825
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 3: mean I could party hang with the best of them.

826
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 3: I ain't saying not to brag. It's not something to

827
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 3: really say, but it's the truth and glorify, but it's true.

828
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 4: You put somebody in.

829
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 3: My and your that you think in your life can

830
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 3: really go that distance with the honey or with them,

831
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,399
Speaker 3: with the drugs or whatever you want.

832
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go twelve rounds with you.

833
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 4: I mean, Johnny, you a small man, bro, I'm a

834
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 4: little thick. I guess.

835
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 2: So you Drake does a song draft day? What was

836
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 2: it like to hear Drake mention mention you in a song.

837
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 2: And what was it like hanging out with Drake. He's

838
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 2: the big, one of the biggest slams in the world,

839
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 2: and here of a college kid and a young college

840
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 2: kid just hanging out with him.

841
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

842
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 3: I remember when I went to Toronto for the first

843
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 3: time and my mom called me and I could hear

844
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 3: the worry in her voice. Where are you Toronto, Canada?

845
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 3: Do you even have a passport?

846
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 4: Yeah? I took him from the safe last week when

847
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 4: I came by the house.

848
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 3: So, like, my relationship with Drake is one that changed

849
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 3: my life for the better forever still to this day,

850
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 3: you know, a pillar of.

851
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 4: My life.

852
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 3: And from the first day I met him, the first

853
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 3: day we talked, our relationship has been pretty constant and

854
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 3: he rides for me as hard as anybody ever has

855
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 3: in my life.

856
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 4: And I'm thankful for him.

857
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 3: I appreciate him, and you know, I try to let

858
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,839
Speaker 3: him know whenever I'm with him, how much his relationship

859
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 3: means to me, how much our friendship means, and like

860
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 3: it's the coolest thing in the world to me. From

861
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 3: that kid in Kerrville, Texas to be able to sit

862
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 3: there and walk out on the draft radio City music

863
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 3: all and there ain't no song playing that you like.

864
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 3: It's my song about the day that's happening now.

865
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:09,920
Speaker 1: Tells right.

866
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 2: But what do you think when people say, Man, Drake

867
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 2: cursed you, because you know, there's this thing that say

868
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 2: that Drake has a curse that anybody is doing well.

869
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,240
Speaker 1: If Drake all of a sudden likes them, they're gonna lose.

870
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,280
Speaker 3: I believes in curses like that. That guy's the most

871
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 3: positive energy, great aura. Maybe he picks wrong sometimes in

872
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 3: the people teams or whatever it is, or his bets.

873
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 4: But that's his life, right. There is no curse. That's

874
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 4: to each his own.

875
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 3: You know, if I handle my business in a proper way,

876
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 3: I make him proud, right, our relationship changes like so

877
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 3: like that's there's a lot of.

878
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 4: People that I let down.

879
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 3: I truly feel like him and Lebron at a point

880
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 3: in time for people that I really really let down.

881
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 2: You mentioned that you that Lebron and MAV you signed

882
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 2: with Lebron and MAP and there are people saying Johnny

883
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 2: Man's will be bigger than Lebron James in Cleveland.

884
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 4: I think that person is skip Bayless.

885
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: He definitely believed in you.

886
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 4: It does.

887
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 2: He believed in you and his thing to his credit,

888
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 2: when he believes in a guy yourself, Tim Tebow Baker, Baker, Yeah, Skip.

889
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 4: I love you, Bro.

890
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 3: I hope you know that it was always love And

891
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 3: I honestly feel like I let him down, right. I

892
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 3: remember watching first Take religiously and being able to see

893
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 3: him come on there and ride for me when everything

894
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 3: was going on. Remember seeing the passion in his voice

895
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,960
Speaker 3: and the way he was animated when he would talk

896
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,320
Speaker 3: about me. So when I signed, I go to Cleveland

897
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 3: and this you know, Johnny Manziel will be bigger than Lebron, Like, Okay,

898
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 3: you got your clickbait, you got your headlines for that

899
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 3: week type of thing, and it was never ever going

900
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 3: to be a reality. But because of me signing with

901
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 3: Lebron and MAV, I had the opportunity to even be

902
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 3: great in my own right right. They gave me the

903
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 3: best fighting chance and built a team around me. And

904
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 3: the thing that I realize now is the reason why

905
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 3: they're probably still pissed at me to this day. They

906
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 3: don't lose, they don't bet on anything that's not a

907
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 3: sure thing. And what I did, and the way I

908
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 3: carried myself and the way that I was and my

909
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 3: time during Cleveland was pure and blatant disrespect to them

910
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 3: for giving me everything that I could have ever needed

911
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 3: to be successful. So something that's still to this day,

912
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 3: I think, now that we're talking about it, I haven't.

913
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 4: Completely truly got over yet.

914
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 3: You know, how I let them down, And I remember,

915
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 3: this is how bad off I was whenever I was

916
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,919
Speaker 3: in Cleveland. You know, Lebron would text me every week

917
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 3: to come over to the house and watch a game

918
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 3: or play poker with the boys and just tried to

919
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 3: be there. And I was so depressed for the first

920
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 3: time in my life that even my biggest role model

921
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: and inspiration in my life couldn't get me out of

922
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 3: bed to come and hang out with them. You know,

923
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 3: when I went to the Cavs games, I went, I

924
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 3: was in, I was out. I didn't really grasp and

925
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 3: latch on to him in a way that I should have,

926
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 3: And he tries to take me under his wing, right,

927
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 3: and I'm just kind of nudging it away because of

928
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 3: where my mental is and being just fully depressed and

929
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,240
Speaker 3: where I was in my life.

930
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 4: Is that an excuse? Absolutely not, because.

931
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, the respect that I

932
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 3: should have for them giving me everything should trump all else.

933
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 2: I say, you got a lot of ink. Do you

934
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 2: remember your first what made you? What do you remember

935
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 2: your first tattoo? And how were you when you got it?

936
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 2: And what made you?

937
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 1: Say?

938
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 4: You know what?

939
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 1: I won't eat all right?

940
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 3: So my mom, as a kid, if you get any tattoos,

941
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 3: I'm gonna disown you.

942
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,760
Speaker 4: They went really hard down that route.

943
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 3: And when I got to a little bit higher place

944
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 3: in life, I'm kind of like, let me test and

945
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 3: see if she's still gonna love me after this. So

946
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 3: I went that first esther and uh college station. I

947
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 3: went and got a tattoo, sat against all odds on

948
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 3: the inside of my arms, and I got a Proverbs

949
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 3: thing on my on my chest. John Bones Jones has

950
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 3: this Philippians far thirteen. I got Proverbs three five through six.

951
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 3: Trust trust, not trusting the Lord with all your heart,

952
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 3: and lean out on your own understanding and all your ways,

953
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 3: submit to him, and he will make your pass straight.

954
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 4: And I got that.

955
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 3: And I remember going to the lake house six months later,

956
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 3: and my mom was like, why are you jumping in

957
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 3: the lake with your shirt on.

958
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:36,240
Speaker 4: Ah, it's nothing, it's nothing.

959
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 3: Finally take your shirt off, and I'm like, all right,

960
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 3: moment of truth. She took it pretty good for what

961
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 3: I expected to be honest, she kind of just went

962
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 3: back in the house and like, now we're at the

963
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 3: point where my dad's starting to get some tattoos, and like.

964
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: Oh, you influenced him.

965
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 3: I think I had a little bit of an input

966
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 3: in that. Like I think I've had an input in

967
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 3: his mind shift just to see that, Like, you know,

968
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 3: for if I can go through what I've been through

969
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 3: and still be sitting here today with the attitude and

970
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 3: the outlook on life that I have, and I truly

971
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,760
Speaker 3: feel that anybody can. And my dad's hat his falls

972
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 3: in life, my mom as well, and we all do

973
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 3: as human beings. But like it's about never giving up,

974
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 3: and it's about keep going. Is the mantra mindset that

975
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 3: I use. Keep going? You know, God only gives the

976
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 3: toughest test in life the people that can truly handle

977
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 3: olers soldiers. So like, yeah, a lot of mind was

978
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 3: self inflicted. But I feel to a point today that

979
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 3: I'm here for a better purpose, for a bigger purpose,

980
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 3: maybe being a hall of fame NFL football player was

981
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 3: not what I was meant to be in life, and

982
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 3: I'm okay with that, right. I'm okay with continuing to

983
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 3: grow as a man and figure out exactly what makes

984
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 3: me tick, what my new passions are in life, and

985
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 3: what my new like goals are and where I want

986
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 3: to go.

987
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 2: Is it true that you were about to fake a

988
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,359
Speaker 2: flunk a drug tests had to come by and your

989
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 2: dad faked a medical emergency.

990
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 3: I don't remember the medical emergency, but I remember having

991
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 3: the greatest training camp leading up to the NFL Combine,

992
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:16,399
Speaker 3: and five six days before the combine, I drove from

993
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 3: San Diego to the Beverly Hills Hotel and I wanted

994
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 3: to go to Graystone, Manor and man West Hollywood.

995
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,720
Speaker 4: I got with some NFL.

996
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 3: Boys and I went to her Mosta Beach and I

997
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 3: got drunk, and then I went to the club, and

998
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 3: I remember, as this whole day progressed on, I was

999
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,399
Speaker 3: a little too lit at the club that night about one,

1000
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 3: and I remember, as I'm kind of like in and

1001
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 3: out of it, somebody handed me at blunt and me

1002
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 3: really being not all there and composed, and I remember

1003
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 3: the blunt coming up right in front of my face,

1004
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 3: and I remember my immediate is like, but I couldn't

1005
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 3: tell my agent or anybody the next day if I

1006
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 3: actually did smoke this or not. So now it's like

1007
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 3: full crisis mode. We're taking tests and we're doing this,

1008
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 3: and like now the next six days are like flush

1009
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 3: plus the system. You fail a drug test, you go

1010
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 3: from being maybe the potential first pick in the draft.

1011
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 4: So we'll see you in the third round.

1012
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,479
Speaker 3: And that's a five year deal turned to a four

1013
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 3: turn to guarantee money and nothing like everything is riding

1014
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 3: on this. So I did go into Indy with a

1015
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 3: very very question mark on if I was going to

1016
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 3: pass my drug test for smoking weed.

1017
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: And so so you.

1018
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 4: Passed, I guess I didn't smoke it.

1019
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 2: Wow okay, so wow, Yeah, because concerned the way you've

1020
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:33,240
Speaker 2: been partying.

1021
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 3: Bro, I just remember that that going to grab it. Yeah,

1022
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:38,839
Speaker 3: I remember that, and I remember, for some reason just

1023
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 3: still locked in even if I was out of it.

1024
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:45,800
Speaker 2: When you were coming out, there was a comparison because

1025
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 2: of your ability to duel, threat to run and throw

1026
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 2: the football you got compared to a little bit of

1027
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 2: RG three, a little bit of Russell Wilson did you

1028
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 2: like those comparisons.

1029
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 3: I like the Brett fav of comparisons the most, I

1030
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 3: think because Brett shit like shaped a way of what

1031
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 3: I wanted to be as a quarterback. You know, I

1032
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 3: didn't know at the time, back then really until I

1033
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 3: got out of Cleveland, of what Brett's story was in Atlanta, right,

1034
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,760
Speaker 3: you know, I had this Brett Varba Atlanta Falcons jersey

1035
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 3: that I wore religiously when I was in college station

1036
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 3: and I didn't know that he was there, and like

1037
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 3: what happened and him getting to Green Bay and what

1038
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 3: a like huge turning point and pivot it was for

1039
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 3: him in his life. But that's you know, that's the

1040
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 3: one that I liked the most and that I appreciated

1041
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 3: the most because he was the man.

1042
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 2: Did you really text a Brown's coach during the draft

1043
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 2: and say, hey, let's wreck the league.

1044
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 3: So me and Dal Loggins, who's my quarterback coach, we

1045
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: had a good relationship, and he was texting me throughout

1046
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 3: the draft like be patient, bro, be patient, We're coming

1047
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,799
Speaker 3: to get you. And this was a very personal conversation

1048
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,800
Speaker 3: between me and him that he told to a friend

1049
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 3: that then got spun into what it is today, So

1050
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 3: there was no you know, I'm still walking across the

1051
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 3: stage doing all this. I'm doing my thing, like I'm

1052
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 3: more excited to go to Avenue in New York and

1053
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:06,279
Speaker 3: party with Drake and the boys after to celebrate than

1054
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 3: I am really thinking about football. At this time, everything

1055
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 3: to me was like getting drafted in the first and

1056
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 3: going to this party afterwards, and like it was the.

1057
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 4: Cherry on top of the whole thing was what it

1058
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 4: was for me.

1059
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 3: So you know, that was a very personal text that

1060
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:25,360
Speaker 3: I sent that was internally supposed to motivate us to

1061
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 3: be and get to where we wanted to go. That

1062
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 3: then was then spun as to me being this cocky,

1063
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 3: full headed, you know, egotistical little shit that doesn't know

1064
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 3: anything about the NFL. And I don't think that's necessarily

1065
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 3: how I was. Now, you can ask Andrew Hawkins or

1066
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 3: Joe Thomas or Joe Hayden, or you know, the legends

1067
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:48,400
Speaker 3: in the building that we had with us, and they

1068
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 3: would probably tell you that I was carrying myself like that.

1069
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 3: From my perspective of things, that was never my intention,

1070
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 3: nor did I want to carry myself like that. It

1071
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,839
Speaker 3: was against everything that I was raised and grained to beat.

1072
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 1: Did you want to go to Cleveland? Where did you

1073
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 1: want to get drafted? Mm?

1074
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 4: Where did I want to get drafted? Probably Dallas.

1075
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 1: Better.

1076
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 4: I love Jerry.

1077
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 3: I loved getting a chance to go to sporting events

1078
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 3: in that stadium and cross and circles with him.

1079
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 4: I love getting the.

1080
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 3: Opportunity as a college Texas A and M kid to

1081
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:30,360
Speaker 3: walk into that box and like rub shoulders with the

1082
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 3: haunt joke. Yeah the guy. Yeah, So like I love that.

1083
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 3: And sixteenth pick of that draft was Dallas. And I

1084
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 3: remember the anticipation in Radio City when that pick was

1085
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 3: coming up, and I had my fingers crossed under that

1086
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 3: table the entire time. Please let me go put that

1087
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 3: star on my helmet. Looking back now, thank God that

1088
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,720
Speaker 3: it didn't happen, because I wouldn't be sitting here today.

1089
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 2: You're saying that you wanted to go to Dallas, you

1090
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 2: hoping Dallas draft you, but you said you're glad you

1091
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 2: did and go to Dallas because.

1092
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 3: I think, knowing what I was doing in Cleveland, how

1093
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 3: hard it was for me to party and move and

1094
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,359
Speaker 3: do these kind of things. If you would have put

1095
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 3: me in a landscape that was my backyard, that I knew,

1096
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 3: you know, I had been driving from College Station up

1097
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 3: to Dallas when name one, nothing going on in College Station, right,

1098
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 3: so it was something I was familiar with. I know

1099
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 3: who I was hanging around at that point in my life,

1100
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 3: and I think it would have been just an absolute disaster,

1101
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 3: to the point of it wouldn't have been suicide. That

1102
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 3: would have been the issue. It would have been drinking

1103
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 3: and driving. It would have been taking a bag from

1104
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 3: somebody you shouldn't take it from, and just boom, could

1105
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:44,400
Speaker 3: have been over in an instant. So I think I

1106
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 3: know myself well enough to be able to say that

1107
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 3: it would have been bad in its own right, and luckily, thankfully,

1108
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:52,879
Speaker 3: you know, it didn't happen, even though at that time

1109
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:53,720
Speaker 3: it's what I wanted.

1110
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,800
Speaker 2: What would you study habits like? In Cleveland? How often

1111
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: did you study? Did you watch Tate? Did you study

1112
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,759
Speaker 2: the game? When you're meetings? Did you were you attendive?

1113
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 2: What was Johnny's study habits? Practice habits like?

1114
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:11,720
Speaker 3: I would say, you know, Kyle Shanahan was the most

1115
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 3: detailed person that I had ever seen in my life.

1116
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 3: And I thought Cliff Kingsbury was really really good, but

1117
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 3: Shanahan took it to a different level. He could coach

1118
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 3: eleven twelve positions on the offense, detail, hat placement, hand placement,

1119
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 3: every single thing. So our meetings and things were incredibly detailed.

1120
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 3: My quarterback room was not a home for me because

1121
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 3: of Brian Hoyer. Brian Hoyer had been waiting on opportunity

1122
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 3: to be able to go really provide for his family,

1123
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 3: get an opportunity, and he saw how much of an

1124
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,359
Speaker 3: upper hand he had on me, and he didn't hold

1125
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 3: back when it came to that. So there was instances

1126
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,919
Speaker 3: in the quarterback room early on where I would ask

1127
00:53:57,960 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 3: the same question a couple times and he'd be at

1128
00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 3: the head of the table and go again, we're doing

1129
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 3: this again. Wow, keep him out of it, right, let's

1130
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 3: just cut that off. And I don't have a bad

1131
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 3: word to say about Brian Hoyer. That is just fact

1132
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 3: of what happened in that room. So when that happened, well,

1133
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 3: we were to ask another quarterback this in that room.

1134
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 3: Go ask Connorshaw. Go ask Connorshaw, who played at South

1135
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 3: Carolina and was with us in Cleveland. Go ask him

1136
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,399
Speaker 3: how Brian Hoyer was in that room. Go ask dal

1137
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:30,080
Speaker 3: Logins how he was in that room and it's okay.

1138
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 3: But at that point in time of where I was

1139
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 3: and I'm the franchise guy, I could have used a

1140
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,399
Speaker 3: little help, especially when they knew what I was doing.

1141
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 3: And I've said this before in the past, and people

1142
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 3: have said, why don't you take self accountability for what

1143
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 3: it was and you not putting in the work.

1144
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 4: I didn't know what work like that was.

1145
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 3: I didn't know what the grind was because I was

1146
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 3: great at Texas A and M without it. So a

1147
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 3: sentim entitlement comes in that I can do it the

1148
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,399
Speaker 3: same way because I don't know any better. So when

1149
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 3: you have that going on in the quarterback room, then

1150
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 3: I just do this.

1151
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 4: I ain't speaking. If I question something I'm asking.

1152
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 3: I'm embarrassed right I'm getting dogged by a guy who's

1153
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 3: supposed to be my teammate when I don't know. I'm

1154
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:17,719
Speaker 3: trying to figure it out. I don't know what cover

1155
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,880
Speaker 3: three is. You know what we did at A and M.

1156
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 3: If that linebacker's tucked in and swoops faster than him, bang,

1157
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 3: I'm throwing the bubble and he's down the sideline. I

1158
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 3: wasn't looking at safeties. I'm not looking at one high

1159
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 3: two high rotation. My mind didn't work that way from

1160
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,839
Speaker 3: a football player perspective. And then when I'm going into

1161
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 3: my safe space quarterback room, I'm getting so I'm not

1162
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 3: saying a word. Now, I'm struggling. Now, I'm getting behind.

1163
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:45,959
Speaker 3: Now i don't know the detail of the plays because

1164
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,359
Speaker 3: I'm not going home and dialing it in even more.

1165
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 3: In the building, I studied film. I wanted to watch

1166
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 3: these Rex Grossman clips of Washington and Shanahan. I wanted

1167
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 3: to watch RG three twenty twelve season. I wanted to

1168
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 3: see how you do this stuff, and I watched it

1169
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 3: that I grind it the way that Peyton Manning does.

1170
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:08,319
Speaker 4: Absolutely not.

1171
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 3: I didn't even know that was a thing until Josh

1172
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 3: McCown got in the building the next year. And when

1173
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:17,959
Speaker 3: Josh McCown came in, the shift in that room went

1174
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 3: through the roof of positivity. When I got there, he

1175
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 3: comes up to me and he goes, you.

1176
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 4: Want to be a great quarterback.

1177
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 3: I go yeah, he goes, tie a string to the

1178
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 3: end of my backpack and you can follow me around

1179
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,800
Speaker 3: wherever you want, and I'll show you what it takes

1180
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 3: to really be a quarterback in the NFL. Now when

1181
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 3: that goes to the practice field and we're out there

1182
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:41,760
Speaker 3: and we're dialing in these bang eights, we're throwing the comeback.

1183
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,359
Speaker 3: McCown's sitting there like, you can't fucking do this. I

1184
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:48,600
Speaker 3: can't make that throw, But you can't. What do you

1185
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 3: think that does for a second year of player's confidence

1186
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 3: through the roof. Now, our team as a whole is

1187
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 3: not the same, our organization in a sense inside the building,

1188
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:05,480
Speaker 3: it's still incredibly dysfunctional. But for those first like you know,

1189
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 3: ten twelve weeks of the season in twenty fifteen, we're

1190
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 3: not winning.

1191
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 4: No, we only win two games that year.

1192
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 3: Like me as a football player, I'm growing John de Filippo,

1193
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 3: who's our offensive coordinator, like we're growing together.

1194
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 4: His energy in the room and what it is.

1195
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 3: Is like positive and it's me, Josh, McCown and Connorshaw again.

1196
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 3: And there is a huge shift in that quarterback room

1197
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 3: that next year, and I start to get confidence and

1198
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 3: I start to do this, and then life happens to

1199
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 3: me again to where I'm not taking care of myself

1200
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 3: and I'm frustrated in the building and I'll never forget

1201
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 3: probably about week thirteen or fourteen of the season. I'm

1202
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 3: walking out of coach Petton's office or I'm upstairs in

1203
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 3: the where the coach's offices are in Cleveland, and I

1204
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 3: walked by Jimmy O'Neal's office and he's like, hey, Johnny,

1205
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:00,960
Speaker 3: come in here for a sec. I'm like, oh, it's

1206
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 3: our defensive coordinator. I'm like, what's up, coach? And I'm

1207
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 3: chill with everybody like I'm a that's just how I am.

1208
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:12,520
Speaker 3: And he's like sitting back at his desk and I

1209
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: got his foot up and he goes, you know, we'd

1210
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 3: be really good football player if you got your head

1211
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 3: out of your ass, and I'm like so caught off guard.

1212
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 3: Now this confidence that I'm building is immediately just now.

1213
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 3: I don't know if he meant in a way or

1214
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 3: just like, you know, you're two and two and twelve

1215
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 3: and your team is struggling and you're like, you know,

1216
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 3: looking to wage the vent or whatever it was.

1217
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 4: But this happened.

1218
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:40,800
Speaker 3: And when I left that that office and I went

1219
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 3: back down to the quarterback room, I was white as

1220
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 3: a ghost, so white that Josh McCown looked.

1221
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:47,680
Speaker 4: At me just like you are and was like, what happened?

1222
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 3: And I'm like stuttering through this story, and Josh McCown

1223
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 3: gets up out of his seat and walks straight up

1224
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 3: to that to that fucking office. Now what was said,

1225
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 3: I don't exactly know what it is, But when he

1226
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 3: came back in that room, he was pissed. He said,

1227
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 3: you don't do that in this league with a young guy,

1228
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 3: and somebody like you just don't. You can't break it, Gump,

1229
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 3: break me in half. And from there I was broken.

1230
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 3: I ain't give a fuck, I ain't care about that team.

1231
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 3: I didn't care about that what my role was, and

1232
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 3: there's no excuse. All of these things led up to

1233
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 3: be the perfect failure, and at the end of the day,

1234
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 3: it's on my shoulders. But when you're starting to get

1235
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 3: a little momentum and you get broken like that, that's

1236
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 3: when the running to Vegas happened, and me missing the

1237
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,920
Speaker 3: last game of the season, that's when the Whig story

1238
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 3: comes out. And when I'm really like running two three

1239
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 3: weeks after this, when this happened, I go straight home.

1240
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 3: I go straight to my basement. I get the biggest

1241
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 3: bottle of Hennessy out of the bottom of the drawer,

1242
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 3: and now I'm sitting in the basement. I'm listening to

1243
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 3: the future every second. Every day, I'm partying by myself

1244
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 3: just to.

1245
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 4: Try and like.

1246
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 3: Get out of this reality of a situation that I'm

1247
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 3: living with, a head coach that wants nothing to do

1248
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 3: with me, with the DC who's saying if I get

1249
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 3: my head out of my ass, we'll have a chance,

1250
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 3: just this whole perfect storm, and just like fuck this.

1251
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 3: And when that happened, I was done.

1252
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 2: What was your relationship we like with Josh Gordon? You

1253
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,240
Speaker 2: have a guy and here we know he's had his issues,

1254
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 2: his struggles, very similar to what you're sharing with us

1255
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 2: right now.

1256
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 1: What was your relationship with Josh Great?

1257
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 3: I saw a side of Josh that the rest of

1258
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 3: the world didn't get to see. I saw a guy

1259
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 3: that was from that trap, that from that bad neighborhood

1260
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 3: growing up, who would beat the odds to be able

1261
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 3: to get there. One of the most physically talented specimens

1262
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:43,960
Speaker 3: that you'll ever see on the football field. He struggled

1263
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 3: with a lot of the same things that I struggle with,

1264
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:48,800
Speaker 3: and I tried my best throughout those times to be

1265
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:53,120
Speaker 3: a better influence around Josh than a lot of other

1266
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 3: people were. Because a lot of his boys didn't give

1267
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 3: a shit at that point in time. And you know,

1268
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:04,280
Speaker 3: should I have done things differently in our relationship to

1269
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:08,600
Speaker 3: not you know, sway him certain ways, because I think

1270
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 3: I definitely had to do this.

1271
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:10,560
Speaker 4: We didn't do drugs together.

1272
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:11,200
Speaker 1: Didn't do drugs.

1273
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 4: We didn't do drugs together.

1274
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 3: He loved the weed, man, he loved it, and when

1275
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 3: he would come over to my apartment, all he ever

1276
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 3: wanted to do was roll it and put it on

1277
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 3: the counter. He just wanted to be included on the

1278
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 3: whole thing, which is the way his mind kind of worked.

1279
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 3: But he never smoked around me.

1280
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 4: He never.

1281
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:30,240
Speaker 3: I mean, we went on trips together. We went to Aspen,

1282
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 3: we went everywhere. Like JG was my dog to the core.

1283
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 3: And funny you asked and just spoke to him yesterday

1284
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 3: and he sounds like he's in the best place that

1285
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 3: I've seen him in years. And it takes time and

1286
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 3: getting away from it and for me and him, we're

1287
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 3: talking about golf now, and golf is kind of like

1288
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:49,400
Speaker 3: an avenue that I never thought me and me and

1289
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 3: JG would be able to talk about golf, go play,

1290
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 3: and like golf is really shifted my mindset and being

1291
01:01:56,600 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 3: able to still continuously give me competitions as much as

1292
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 3: it is against other people. When you're playing golf is

1293
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 3: always about yourself and battling yourself six inches between your

1294
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 3: ears and then you know, getting in a good headspace

1295
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 3: to go up and hit a good shot.

1296
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 1: John I want to get you out on here.

1297
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 2: You mentioned that once you left Cleveland that you contemplated

1298
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 2: suicide and you spent all your money. Clearly that's the

1299
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 2: lowest point of your life, whether it a culmination of

1300
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 2: I'm not where I thought it would be. As far

1301
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 2: as in the NFL. You're in the NFL, but you're

1302
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 2: not playing, and you're not you feel you're not getting

1303
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 2: the support that you need or deserves in order for

1304
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:43,120
Speaker 2: Johnny to be Johnny, because you just sometimes you need somebody,

1305
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 2: just a little support. You need somebody to say, Johnny, hey, bro,

1306
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 2: you can do this. Pat you on the back instead

1307
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 2: of kicking.

1308
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 1: The butt all the time. When did you know?

1309
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 2: So what happened when you're contemplating taking your own life.

1310
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 4: It's different.

1311
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,440
Speaker 3: It's not that I don't have the support. It's not

1312
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 3: that I don't have the team, because at that point

1313
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 3: in time, I had every single person you could ever

1314
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 3: think trying to reach out and I'm just blocking people

1315
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:12,760
Speaker 3: at every single turn. And I think for me, it

1316
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:15,720
Speaker 3: was something I didn't find out until I went to

1317
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 3: play in Canada again. I remember having this feeling in

1318
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 3: Cleveland that I didn't love football. Okay, but it was

1319
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,640
Speaker 3: a feeling. And when I didn't play for a while

1320
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 3: and I'm out of the league and I'm trying to

1321
01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 3: get back in, I end up going to Canada, and

1322
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 3: when I walked into that locker room for the first

1323
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 3: time and walked out on a practice football field, every

1324
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:36,840
Speaker 3: single feeling that I had felt in that Cleveland locker

1325
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 3: room came back to me in that Canadian locker room,

1326
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 3: and I knew right then and there that I didn't

1327
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 3: truly truly love this game to the point of where

1328
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:47,280
Speaker 3: I need to do what I need to.

1329
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 4: Do to be successful. So the suicide thing comes in

1330
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:55,240
Speaker 4: when you look at life and you say.

1331
01:03:57,320 --> 01:04:00,600
Speaker 3: I fucked up the biggest golden opportunity that you could

1332
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 3: ever imagined. And this is where I think whenever you

1333
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 3: said what you said about the Fan Control Football League,

1334
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 3: it is sad, Shannon. What you said on that day

1335
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:11,560
Speaker 3: is exactly right.

1336
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 4: It is sad.

1337
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 3: To watch a guy who had all the potential in

1338
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 3: the world, all the opportunity, all the resources and team

1339
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 3: around him, and he still goes fuck that. But what

1340
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 3: if I told you today that I don't think that

1341
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:29,000
Speaker 3: I loved what I was doing enough to ever get

1342
01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 3: into the mix of doing it the right way.

1343
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 4: I went through that.

1344
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: Period with Josh McCowan where we did it, but like

1345
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 3: it never was like over the tip and I'm not

1346
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:40,640
Speaker 3: in the gym, I'm not grinding. I'm not doing the

1347
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 3: things that I did back in the day that made

1348
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 3: me great. So now I realize that I didn't love

1349
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:47,720
Speaker 3: the game of football like that. I just happened to

1350
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:49,440
Speaker 3: be immensely talented at it.

1351
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:51,240
Speaker 4: I happen to have.

1352
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:56,160
Speaker 3: Great teammates around me, great coaches, great perfect storm to

1353
01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:58,240
Speaker 3: be able to get me to walk across that hall

1354
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:02,600
Speaker 3: at Radio City Music Hall, across that stage. So that

1355
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 3: feeling came back in Canada.

1356
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 4: I realize I don't love the game.

1357
01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 3: And then when the game's gone from you, here's a

1358
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 3: huge transition. And every guy will tell you what the

1359
01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:15,760
Speaker 3: transition is to figuring out your identity and who you

1360
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:18,080
Speaker 3: are as a person. And I truly feel like from

1361
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 3: two thousand and seventeen on. That's seven years that That's

1362
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 3: what I've been doing. And my mission has been to

1363
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 3: try and stay away, get a little bit of this

1364
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:31,400
Speaker 3: hype off me, and just live and find out about life.

1365
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 3: To be a great uncle, to be a great brother,

1366
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 3: to be a great son, to be a great role

1367
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 3: model for Texas A and M. To be a great alumni,

1368
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 3: you know, a leader, To be a great resource for

1369
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:47,000
Speaker 3: my guys who play at Texas A and M. And

1370
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:48,920
Speaker 3: these are all things and I'm trying to do and

1371
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 3: moving forward that I've completely neglected in the past.

1372
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,680
Speaker 2: If I can say, Johnny, you could go back, what

1373
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 2: would probably be one of the two things that you

1374
01:05:57,560 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 2: wish you could do.

1375
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:00,919
Speaker 3: If I could go back to a certain point in time,

1376
01:06:00,960 --> 01:06:04,520
Speaker 3: I would drop myself right after that in the locker

1377
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:08,240
Speaker 3: room of the Oklahoma came in the Cotton Bowl. Knowing

1378
01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 3: what I know now, I would have known how to

1379
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 3: handle myself. I would have known how important and imperative

1380
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:18,440
Speaker 3: it is to be a better teammate than just numbers

1381
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 3: on a field on Saturday.

1382
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:21,640
Speaker 4: There's something to be said.

1383
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:24,439
Speaker 3: About how your guys ride for you when you're doing

1384
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:28,160
Speaker 3: the right things in the building, and that twenty thirteen

1385
01:06:28,240 --> 01:06:30,600
Speaker 3: year for US at Texas A and M, a lot

1386
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:35,480
Speaker 3: of internal problems were happening because their leader is distracted.

1387
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 3: Their horse that makes this whole carriage go is fucked up.

1388
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:46,959
Speaker 3: And the shame that I have for letting guys down

1389
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:51,200
Speaker 3: like Cedric a Boy and like Jake Matthews and Mike

1390
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,680
Speaker 3: Evans is the same shame that I carried with me

1391
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 3: to this day about letting down Joe Thomas is a

1392
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:58,960
Speaker 3: guy who's in the end of his Hall of Fame

1393
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:03,160
Speaker 3: career and is looking for somebody to come in and

1394
01:07:03,280 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 3: lead this team, and then you get me. It's tough,

1395
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:14,960
Speaker 3: you know, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing to have been the

1396
01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:18,440
Speaker 3: guy that have let down some overall really great athletes

1397
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:22,240
Speaker 3: of my time and of my generation. Something I carry

1398
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 3: hopefully with my head high right now. But at the

1399
01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:28,040
Speaker 3: same time, internally, I know it eats me alive because

1400
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:30,200
Speaker 3: they did more for me than I gave.

1401
01:07:30,040 --> 01:07:31,560
Speaker 4: In returned to them.

1402
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:35,240
Speaker 3: And what a shallow kind of selfish way of life

1403
01:07:35,280 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 3: that I was living at that point in time. And

1404
01:07:36,840 --> 01:07:40,040
Speaker 3: I have a lot of regret, like I regret wasting

1405
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 3: a couple of Joe Thomas's last year is in Cleveland.

1406
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:46,960
Speaker 4: I regret disrespecting Lebron and not making it.

1407
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:51,760
Speaker 3: That's making sure what it meant to me, showing him

1408
01:07:51,760 --> 01:07:55,040
Speaker 3: that I give a fuck enough to just do what's right,

1409
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:57,480
Speaker 3: to listen to mav and listen to.

1410
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:58,680
Speaker 4: The team they built around me.

1411
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:02,400
Speaker 3: Me up that I'd messed up our second year at

1412
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:05,000
Speaker 3: Texas A and M and we went seven and four

1413
01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 3: or whatever, because that was our chance to win a

1414
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:09,160
Speaker 3: national tride.

1415
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:09,960
Speaker 1: Him off the game against Duke.

1416
01:08:10,240 --> 01:08:11,040
Speaker 4: Had a cool.

1417
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:13,880
Speaker 3: Game against Dude one that was like a legendary kind

1418
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:16,519
Speaker 3: of tail on it. But like I almost wish to

1419
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:18,599
Speaker 3: this day that we lost that game because I would

1420
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:22,160
Speaker 3: have came back so us having that legendary run against

1421
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:22,800
Speaker 3: a bowl game.

1422
01:08:22,840 --> 01:08:23,719
Speaker 4: That's kind of like.

1423
01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:27,240
Speaker 3: Kind of wish we would have lost, because then I

1424
01:08:27,240 --> 01:08:29,280
Speaker 3: would have came back with a vengeance. And I probably

1425
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:31,880
Speaker 3: wouldn't have got drafted because I would have gotten in trouble. Right,

1426
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:35,320
Speaker 3: But it doesn't sit right with me certain things, And

1427
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:38,639
Speaker 3: those are three things how I wasted my twenty thirteen season.

1428
01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:42,200
Speaker 3: How I treated the legends in that building in Cleveland,

1429
01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:47,040
Speaker 3: and how I treated Lebron in math and you know

1430
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,719
Speaker 3: from there. I can even take it a step further

1431
01:08:48,760 --> 01:08:50,920
Speaker 3: and say, in twenty sixteen, I don't think I treated

1432
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,559
Speaker 3: Drake the way that I should have with representing the

1433
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:56,200
Speaker 3: clothes that I was wearing and his OVO brand and

1434
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 3: his label and everything. You know, at that point in time,

1435
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:01,360
Speaker 3: I was so selfish that was dragging everybody that was

1436
01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 3: tied to me through the mud. Now it's regret. I'm

1437
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:07,960
Speaker 3: not harboring on this in this in any kind of way.

1438
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:10,640
Speaker 3: I'm just calling it exactly what it is in the

1439
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,880
Speaker 3: way that I feel about it, And you know, I

1440
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:15,960
Speaker 3: owe those people apology, and hopefully one day down the line,

1441
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,559
Speaker 3: I'll be able to have the opportunity as a man

1442
01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:19,880
Speaker 3: to be able to look him in the eye and

1443
01:09:19,880 --> 01:09:20,599
Speaker 3: be able to do that.

1444
01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:23,559
Speaker 1: I understand. This is my last question for you.

1445
01:09:23,680 --> 01:09:27,080
Speaker 2: I understand what that win in Tuscle Looser did for

1446
01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:30,080
Speaker 2: your career, but it seems to me it was that

1447
01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:34,000
Speaker 2: win against Oklahoma and the Cotton Bowl that really changed

1448
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,639
Speaker 2: it for you.

1449
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 3: You know, they're coming down from Norman, We're coming up

1450
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,959
Speaker 3: from College Station. It's a clash in the biggest stadium

1451
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:47,120
Speaker 3: in the state of Texas. The spectacle for US in Texas.

1452
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:50,760
Speaker 3: This is the granddaddy of them all. Not what goes

1453
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:52,880
Speaker 3: on out in the Rose Bowl out West for a

1454
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:56,439
Speaker 3: Texas kid, for a Kyler Murray, for these guys we

1455
01:09:56,439 --> 01:09:59,280
Speaker 3: were talking about. To play in that stadium and do

1456
01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:03,720
Speaker 3: what we did day was like, you can't tell me

1457
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:07,639
Speaker 3: shit from there on out. And what a shallow mindset

1458
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:11,679
Speaker 3: to have, What a selfish mindset to have. But being

1459
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:13,760
Speaker 3: a Texas kid, it's almost feeling like one of those

1460
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,440
Speaker 3: real big dreams and pillars of your life has been accomplished.

1461
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,640
Speaker 4: And I didn't treat people the right way after that,

1462
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:19,160
Speaker 4: and it's.

1463
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:22,200
Speaker 1: Unfortunate as we see it here today. How is Johnny

1464
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:22,880
Speaker 1: Manseil doing?

1465
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,559
Speaker 3: Probably the happiest I've ever been in my life. And

1466
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:27,559
Speaker 3: I think I went through a period of time after

1467
01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:30,320
Speaker 3: the documentary came out where I maybe acted a little

1468
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:32,479
Speaker 3: bit like I did in the past, and it's easy

1469
01:10:32,920 --> 01:10:36,240
Speaker 3: to let ego and fame and stuff kind of creep

1470
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:40,040
Speaker 3: back in. And what I've done now since really, you know,

1471
01:10:40,439 --> 01:10:45,280
Speaker 3: December ish, you know, it's new three months, but I've

1472
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:48,280
Speaker 3: insulated myself in a way with a team that I

1473
01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:51,519
Speaker 3: can trust, people that I love that are doing nothing

1474
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:54,960
Speaker 3: but looking out for my best wishes, best regards. They

1475
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:58,480
Speaker 3: know me, They're not letting me cheat, They're holding me accountable,

1476
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:01,320
Speaker 3: and it's not going to happen. It is going to

1477
01:11:01,320 --> 01:11:04,080
Speaker 3: be a slow, gradual process to get to who.

1478
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 4: I want to be as a man.

1479
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:07,400
Speaker 3: But in my opinion, sitting here today with you and

1480
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:10,240
Speaker 3: join the hell out of this conversation, I feel like

1481
01:11:10,280 --> 01:11:12,080
Speaker 3: I'm on the right path to where I need to go.

1482
01:11:12,439 --> 01:11:14,960
Speaker 3: And as Johnny Manziel, not as Johnny Football.

1483
01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:17,080
Speaker 2: You were once married and this is the last one

1484
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:19,599
Speaker 2: you were once married. Could you see yourself being married again?

1485
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:21,920
Speaker 2: Or is there someone in Johnny Manzil's life that's keeping

1486
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:23,160
Speaker 2: Johnny grounded?

1487
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:26,920
Speaker 4: Nope. It is my friends right now, my family, you know.

1488
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,760
Speaker 3: It is my two nieces with a third one on

1489
01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:32,680
Speaker 3: the way that I talk to every single day on FaceTime.

1490
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:35,880
Speaker 3: That are really my reason why I'm still here right

1491
01:11:36,760 --> 01:11:40,000
Speaker 3: and a huge reason of my success is based off

1492
01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:42,960
Speaker 3: my sister and my mother and my father and my

1493
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:45,439
Speaker 3: true core friends and my team I have around me.

1494
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:50,080
Speaker 3: So love will come when it comes, But for right now,

1495
01:11:50,120 --> 01:11:52,840
Speaker 3: I'm focused on getting a bag, taking care of my money,

1496
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 3: and getting back to where I need to be, being

1497
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,080
Speaker 3: the best brother, being the best uncle, and being there

1498
01:11:57,080 --> 01:11:59,920
Speaker 3: for my family and my university in a way I

1499
01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:02,720
Speaker 3: need to be to make people proud that I.

1500
01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:03,439
Speaker 4: Want to make proud.

1501
01:12:03,479 --> 01:12:06,519
Speaker 3: I don't want to continuously keep letting people down when

1502
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm destined for bigger, greater things than

1503
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:09,599
Speaker 3: that in life.

1504
01:12:09,960 --> 01:12:12,400
Speaker 2: I am so proud that you're sitting here today and

1505
01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:17,400
Speaker 2: you found your reason to live, Johnny Minzail, Ladies and gentlemen,

1506
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:22,080
Speaker 2: all my life, grunning all my life, sacrifice, hustle plared

1507
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:22,639
Speaker 2: to pricing.

1508
01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:26,479
Speaker 4: Want a slice? Got the brother of all my life.

1509
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 4: I'll be grounding all my life, all my life and

1510
01:12:29,560 --> 01:12:30,280
Speaker 4: grunning all.

1511
01:12:30,120 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 3: My life sacrifice Hustle plaed to price it. Want a slice?

1512
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:37,160
Speaker 3: Got the bron of why all my life?

1513
01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:40,960
Speaker 2: I'll be grunting all my life