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Speaker 1: Swine Down with Janet Kramer and I heard radio podcast.

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Speaker 1: You're so excited right now. I'm really excited. I am excited.

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Speaker 1: I got I didn't get drug into this. I got

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Speaker 1: asked nicely, like you said, drugged. I woke up and

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Speaker 1: I was here. Um no, but we're on a zoom

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Speaker 1: chat right now with four of your high school girlfriends

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Speaker 1: and not just like girlfriends like best friends. Right Originally

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Speaker 1: you're like, hey, I just have a zoom date with

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Speaker 1: my girlfriends. And then you're like, you know what, Actually

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Speaker 1: I think I wanna record it and put on the podcast,

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Speaker 1: And actually I think I want you to be on

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Speaker 1: there and debate all the wives as the lone man. Well, well,

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Speaker 1: what happened was is last well what happened was when

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Speaker 1: we were zooming because my my girlfriends were supposed to

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Speaker 1: come into Nashville, but obviously the whole quarantine stuff happened.

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Speaker 1: So we decided to have a zoom date and be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: the quarantine is not going to bring us down. So

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Speaker 1: we did a zoom date in the entire time, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like my business this mind, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this is so good, Like this is what all moms

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Speaker 1: think and this is you know what, like what the

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Speaker 1: husbands should hear or that the wife should hear. And

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Speaker 1: it was just like you guys, save all of this

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Speaker 1: and can we please to a zoom. And then when

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Speaker 1: I told you about it, You're like, oh, I want

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Speaker 1: to be on this. You know, I love the challenge.

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Speaker 1: I love the challenge. Should welcome that. I think you

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Speaker 1: should introduce everybody. Okay, please welcome to the Wine Down Podcast.

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Speaker 1: We've got Rachel, Lisa, Chelsea, and Andrea. Hello here, gangs,

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Speaker 1: all here, Hi girls. Oh it just feels like home.

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Speaker 1: You know. Hey, honestly, I think the only person that

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Speaker 1: has the really strong accent is Rachel. No, come on, Rachel,

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Speaker 1: give us your best Michigan line. I don't hear that Migan. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So we were talking last week and I think what

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Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to start with because a similar

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Speaker 1: situation had happened again last week. Um where it's frustrating

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Speaker 1: because we're jumping right into it now that I have

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Speaker 1: me and for my best girlfriends and you're the only

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Speaker 1: husbandman here. Let's just get right. No, no, no, I'm not.

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Speaker 1: This is not to be like a husband basher, like

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Speaker 1: we just want to all talk about it, right for sure.

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Speaker 1: So ladies, so I'm gonna take it from you and

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Speaker 1: four other wives. Great, exactly. No, but I don't know

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Speaker 1: about you, and I don't know if I'm alone in

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Speaker 1: this situation. But I think one of the things that

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Speaker 1: has been frustrating during the quarantine is I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm constantly picking up stuff and doing the dishes and

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Speaker 1: doing the kids laundry and folding him and putting him

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Speaker 1: away like a steep freezing. And then you know, after

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Speaker 1: a long day, I go up to the playroom where

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Speaker 1: you had just left and it's destroyed, and you know,

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Speaker 1: like for me, when I go in there, I'm cleaning

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Speaker 1: as I go. I'm sure the kids love that. Hey

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Speaker 1: kids when they get older and they can really understand

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Speaker 1: what's going on. Hey, kids go to the playroom. No, Mom,

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Speaker 1: we don't want to go with you clean. Let us

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Speaker 1: play in the playroom. I know, I know, and we

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Speaker 1: we've talked about that, like the guy the dad is

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Speaker 1: like always the fun one, and you know, as moms

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Speaker 1: were like, gosh, like, why aren't we the fun ones?

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Speaker 1: Because I think we're like, because we have to clean

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Speaker 1: up this mess eventually, so we're just gonna clean it

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Speaker 1: up now, and you know it's so hard, and we

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Speaker 1: got it and we love that you guys play and

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Speaker 1: you play, and Ryan, it's like we had dad playtime,

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Speaker 1: which means like every toy is out and then boom

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Speaker 1: throughout to the next place, and I'm like, can you

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Speaker 1: pick up one toy after the next one? And it's

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Speaker 1: a struggle. Okay, it's not even the clean up for me,

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Speaker 1: like tonight, Okay, it's the hime management of Sometimes I

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Speaker 1: feel like I have three I'm not gonna swear three children,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, by the way, Rachel has two, so

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Speaker 1: I believe she's get into the question your children and

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Speaker 1: a wonderful husband. However, it's like I have to I

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Speaker 1: want think it's in bad like on the early side,

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Speaker 1: because I'm doing this with my girlfriends and Andrew knows that. However,

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Speaker 1: I still feel like I have to micro manage every

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Speaker 1: step of like get their jammis on, get them upstairs.

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Speaker 1: It's like can like can't you know what to do?

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Speaker 1: We do this every night and and the other thing is,

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Speaker 1: I know you guys are gonna be like, we'll just

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Speaker 1: sit back and let him do it. If I just

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Speaker 1: sit there, it's gonna be ten pm. And then I'll

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Speaker 1: like push, push, push to try to, you know, speed

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Speaker 1: things along, and we'll finally get downstairs. He's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: how is it nine ten? I wonder I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe if you have hustled a little more. But there's

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Speaker 1: no concept of like time when it ca to the kids,

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Speaker 1: no concept of time with children. If you have this tonight,

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Speaker 1: so like we had this tonight, and if you if

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Speaker 1: the kids were still up and you're like, okay, it's

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Speaker 1: it's nine o'clock, like, sorry, i gotta go, and the

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Speaker 1: kids were still like running them mock, what would you do? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I would just still peace out and they would probably

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Speaker 1: the kids will be partying really really mad that mom

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Speaker 1: didn't talk them. Man, okay, let me ask you all

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Speaker 1: this and I'm I'm having so much fun already just

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Speaker 1: because my mom's going to questions. Okay, here's the deal,

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Speaker 1: and this happens in our house. Jan is very strict

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Speaker 1: on the schedule as all of you are doing. Time time, time,

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Speaker 1: time up defensive already, No, no, no, no, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: not defensive at all. I'm just saying I sleep trained

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Speaker 1: those babies from three months old. Like the reason our

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Speaker 1: babies have napped so well was because I take pride

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Speaker 1: in the fact and I give credit where credits due.

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Speaker 1: There's no question. All of my friends that are having kids,

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Speaker 1: I'm look, have your wife talked to Jane because she's like,

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Speaker 1: unreal at it? And I've always followed the schedule. I'm

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Speaker 1: right there with it. I'm on it, Okay. I never

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Speaker 1: try to bend it or change it or anything like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know exactly where you're going, you know. But then

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Speaker 1: a random day comes and I'm looking at the clock.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, mmm, it's like, uh, you know, six fifteen,

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Speaker 1: weren't bats going? Like, what's going on? Why we're waiting?

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Speaker 1: And Jane's like, they can stay up a little later.

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Speaker 1: We're hanging out, we're doing this, Jason's cuddling on me.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to, and that's fine, Janna. If Janna

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Speaker 1: moves the schedule, it's totally fine. If I moved the schedule. Mike,

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Speaker 1: it's six fifteen. Why are they not in the bath

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Speaker 1: right now? You know they have to go down by

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Speaker 1: six thirty. You should be reading books right now that

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Speaker 1: he should be bath, diaper on, everything done. Why aren't

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Speaker 1: you doing that. But if it's okay, because when it

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Speaker 1: comes to the sleep, I feel like she put all

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Speaker 1: the effort in. It's kind of like it's on her

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Speaker 1: to be able to mess it up. But Mike, you

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Speaker 1: just totally justified what I just said, at least like

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Speaker 1: like waiting for Janna to tell you what he does,

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Speaker 1: and you did. Kids. I love them. You look at

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Speaker 1: your watch and you're like, oh, Janna, like they don't

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Speaker 1: like it's six fifteen, Joey, Jason, let's go. We're getting like,

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Speaker 1: why do you why does Janna have to be banned?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, yes, no, but it's so true. Why

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Speaker 1: does the wife have to be the one like, Okay, no,

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Speaker 1: you don't have it's it's the only time because Janna knows.

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Speaker 1: I'm very on with everything else. He's an incredible dad.

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Speaker 1: I don't sway from the schedule. I'm on it. So

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Speaker 1: if it's six fifteen and we haven't discussed who's getting

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Speaker 1: here or whatever, I just take the kids and I

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Speaker 1: start going okay. And that's how you take the initiative,

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Speaker 1: the initiative. No, no, no, no, I take the initiative

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Speaker 1: equally with Jenna. Yeah, I'm just talking about if we're

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Speaker 1: separate or whatever, and just the schedule happens to to

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Speaker 1: leak into something because maybe I'm I'm working or doing

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Speaker 1: something that I have to work on in Janna has

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Speaker 1: the kids and I come out, it's past the time

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Speaker 1: that they should be in their bath. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if I were to do this and Janna was doing

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Speaker 1: some work and she comes out and the kids weren't

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Speaker 1: you know in bass yet, that she would be like

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Speaker 1: and it's it's so interesting because it's true and I

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Speaker 1: and I don't know why it's why. Maybe it's just

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Speaker 1: me that I make an exception, like because I like,

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Speaker 1: how can I bend the rules but he can't? Now

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Speaker 1: it's I'm more lenient. But when the babies, it was

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Speaker 1: I was so strict on it. So but then if

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Speaker 1: he didn't, But if I been it and you know,

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Speaker 1: then he would be like, well I don't, and he

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Speaker 1: would get so upset with me about it. And I

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Speaker 1: get it, Like I can look back now and say

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Speaker 1: you're right, Like, I like, how is it fair for

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Speaker 1: me to bend it and you not to bend it?

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Speaker 1: So I don't know, Like I mean, double standards exist.

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Speaker 1: I am totally getting this right, now too. I never

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Speaker 1: realized that I do that too, But it's the same thing.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's because we wake up well,

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Speaker 1: I know you guys have a different schedule, but like

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Speaker 1: typically the mom's getting up with the kids in the morning,

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Speaker 1: we're getting like we're thinking so far ahead, and I

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Speaker 1: think to that point is what it is is it's

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Speaker 1: like the husbands aren't thinking okay, like Jen, if you're

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Speaker 1: sitting there watching TV and you're like, all right, you

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Speaker 1: know what, the kids can watch three more minutes of

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Speaker 1: TV whatever. One We don't want to be the bad

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Speaker 1: guy again to say, hey, guys, wrap it up, let's

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Speaker 1: go upstairs, like dad, you'll be a bad guy. But also,

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Speaker 1: since we slept trained them, don't we get to just

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Speaker 1: kind of make the rolls up so then tomorrow the

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Speaker 1: kids will think we're fun. Mom and dad. You can

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Speaker 1: crack the whip on them if we've like I feel like,

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Speaker 1: if we're with the kids a lot of the day

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Speaker 1: now now obviously it's different because everybody's schedules are at

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Speaker 1: home or whatever, like and also kind of read like, okay,

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Speaker 1: like are the kids overly tired? Are they not? Or

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Speaker 1: like the next day you know, like if you have

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Speaker 1: a lot going on, Like for me, it's more like

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Speaker 1: if you have a lot going on the next day,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, get to bed. But if not, then

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, you know, I don't know, like

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Speaker 1: and I agree though it is such a double standard

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Speaker 1: in a negative way, kind of like for the moms,

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Speaker 1: because I agree. I think sometimes we give too much,

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Speaker 1: like oh, you guys can't do it, when no, you can.

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Speaker 1: And if we did it, we wouldn't say anything. Even

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Speaker 1: if you judge the husband's judged us, then we all

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Speaker 1: know we would lose our minds because that's just what

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Speaker 1: we do, which is not good either. But I kind

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Speaker 1: of want to ask because I feel like we have

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Speaker 1: some interesting dynamics here in different situations within the home

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Speaker 1: as far as like two working parents or stay at

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Speaker 1: home mom or whatever. Isn't there just a primary parent though,

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Speaker 1: like even if you have, like I guess it's it's

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Speaker 1: more of a question, but I feel like the answer

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Speaker 1: is kind of yes, there's there's one parent. That's just

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Speaker 1: more on it just takes more ownership of I disagree

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Speaker 1: that my situation, even in our situation, who were essentially

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Speaker 1: like to stay at home parents and do a lot

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Speaker 1: of things fairly equally. There there are things that I

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Speaker 1: admittedly Janna just steps up and and does and I

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Speaker 1: think most of moms are that way right. If it

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Speaker 1: wasn't for Janna, you know, Jolly wouldn't be enrolled in

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Speaker 1: the ballet class and this and that and whatever. Now,

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Speaker 1: if I was a single dad, of God forbid, we're

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Speaker 1: divorced and I had to do things, I would step

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Speaker 1: up and do it. But you guys tend to do

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Speaker 1: that before us, because you do do ten things at once,

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Speaker 1: and you can do that, where for us we'd have

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Speaker 1: to sit down. Okay, I'm going to search for dance

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Speaker 1: ballet studios. Let's go by that time, you guys would

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Speaker 1: already have have them scheduled three times a week and

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Speaker 1: what time. So, yes, I do believe that there's a

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Speaker 1: primary parent, but I do think that people have ee

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Speaker 1: month appointment that came. But it's I think you divvy

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Speaker 1: up responsibilities. Now. I kind of give into some crap

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Speaker 1: around that sometimes because she'll complain, you know, when we're

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Speaker 1: at in a bad space about doing the kids laundries

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Speaker 1: or doing this or doing that. I'm like, okay, well

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Speaker 1: if you do that and you complain about it, And

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Speaker 1: if I did that, then what would you do? If

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Speaker 1: you complain about everything that you do, and because I

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Speaker 1: don't do it, then all of a sudden, I'm doing

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Speaker 1: all of it and you're not doing anything. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: there there's a balance. There's a balance there. Like I

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Speaker 1: know Janna takes the reins on the kids laundry. She

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Speaker 1: just she just owns it. And you know what, I

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Speaker 1: could probably do more of it. I think maybe it

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Speaker 1: comes down to, like, maybe not primary parent, but who's

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Speaker 1: like the manager, right, because there can still be a

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Speaker 1: balance of tasks, but who at the end of the

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Speaker 1: day is really like the manager of it. Because so

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Speaker 1: we have an interesting dynamic in that I had a

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Speaker 1: career obviously before I had my daughter, before we had

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Speaker 1: her daughter, and then I stayed at home with her

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Speaker 1: for two years and then I went back to work

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Speaker 1: hard time, like thirty hours a week. So we kind

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Speaker 1: of went through the transition of like stay at home

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Speaker 1: mom for two years and working mostly part time mom

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Speaker 1: and now for a load mom. But I think what

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Speaker 1: was interesting is like even through all of that, sure

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Speaker 1: some of the responsibilities shifted slightly, but I would say

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Speaker 1: I still held the role of manager for like the

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Speaker 1: family and like our team, right which is fine. It's

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Speaker 1: like to your point, Mike, like I'm happy doing a

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Speaker 1: lot of it and my husband appreciates it, and I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, like we're in a good place there. But

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Speaker 1: I just think it defaults to that, and I think

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Speaker 1: that's kind of what it comes down to in this conversation,

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Speaker 1: Like you look to the manager and it's like okay

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Speaker 1: for the manager to say, Hey, we're gonna stay up

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes later tonight. And that's not to say that

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Speaker 1: like that doesn't happen with my husband some nights where

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Speaker 1: he makes that call, because again, we're kind of more

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Speaker 1: in a balanced place right now, just because I was

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Speaker 1: working now again, So I just I think it's I

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Speaker 1: don't mind it as much, and I think every family

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Speaker 1: is unique, but I do think that you almost need

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Speaker 1: that role of man manager because you do kind of

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Speaker 1: need somebody to to really make sure that things aren't

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Speaker 1: falling through the craps. And I love that. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: and honestly I love that because that's almost like if

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Speaker 1: you had that mindset, you could I could be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: Jason's up, you know I've changed it because whatever, and

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Speaker 1: you can be like okay and not take it as

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Speaker 1: well if I did that, it's more like the manager

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Speaker 1: because mostly managing the situation that you then respect that

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Speaker 1: and you don't you don't challenge it. I guess right,

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Speaker 1: So I feel like we don't challenge it. Well, you know,

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Speaker 1: you get really upset though, if if it's only because

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Speaker 1: after times of you giving me crap, I'm like, well

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Speaker 1: but again, but you're not the manager. So that's that's

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Speaker 1: where it comes into play. Like because you're not the manager,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, you have to follow the manager's schedule. Manager.

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Speaker 1: But no, I mean it's a good point. I love

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Speaker 1: that point. Rachel, would you got I'm falling. I like

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Speaker 1: want to put like make myself a sign that's just

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Speaker 1: like Rachel house manager. That's like, that is your role, right,

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Speaker 1: You've always been I have a title that has been

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Speaker 1: you don't know, and I'm like manager, we can get promotions, right,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell I get a promotion. I'm going outline

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Speaker 1: rate you like that though you you've managed, that's like you,

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Speaker 1: that's like you've been that friend since forever. You would

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Speaker 1: be like going out tonight girls where your dresses, like

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Speaker 1: group manager, that's time you can't come out. Let me

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Speaker 1: all right, let me take that analogy that you're saying

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Speaker 1: the manager and use it in another situation. Say someone's

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Speaker 1: a primary breadwinner. Okay, and what you're talking about with

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Speaker 1: like the being the house manager. Right, so if the

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Speaker 1: kids are seeing that twenty minutes later, I'm the house manager.

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Speaker 1: I kind of managed the schedule. It's more okay. If

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Speaker 1: the house manager is doing that now with money and

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Speaker 1: there's one person that's the primary, you know, breadwinner, is

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Speaker 1: it their role as the money manager? Then where do

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Speaker 1: they have more right about how money is spent or

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Speaker 1: you know, they can go buy something for themselves. But

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Speaker 1: if the one who doesn't make the money goes and

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Speaker 1: buy something, they give him crap for it, like because

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Speaker 1: that's the area of contention as well, and something that

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Speaker 1: Jan and I've definitely run into. But Chelsea, you you're

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Speaker 1: ready for this, Let's do it. It's a good point though,

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Speaker 1: because it's it's it is a different managing point and

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Speaker 1: I love that, Mike, that's great, go ahead, Chelsea. Personally,

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Speaker 1: I think it's what your agreement is ahead of time,

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Speaker 1: like as a husband and wife or as partners, did

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Speaker 1: you agree ahead of time that I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: the housekeeper. I'm going to take care of our children

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Speaker 1: and raise our children. You're going to be going to

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Speaker 1: work and be the breadwinner. That makes us equal. I'm

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Speaker 1: different planes, but you're bringing money home, but I'm raising

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Speaker 1: our children not getting paid. Right, So I think it's

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Speaker 1: just the difference of are you talking about it ahead

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Speaker 1: of time or is it just all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: you know, someone stops working, someone is working, or someone

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Speaker 1: makes less money than the other person. I think it's

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Speaker 1: if you're going to talk about it, like, my husband works,

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Speaker 1: I'm retired, as I like to say, from a corporate job. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's hard sometimes to be a retiree, and

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Speaker 1: especially climate at a young age, the retired life. It is.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, he is the breadwinner, but we have that

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Speaker 1: mutual respect for each other and understanding that just because

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Speaker 1: he's bringing the money home doesn't mean that it's something

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Speaker 1: like I can't just go and buy things that I want. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: if there's big purchases and stuff like that. You know,

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Speaker 1: every couple has their own dynamic of when they're going

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Speaker 1: to be talking about money and things that they're spending.

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Speaker 1: But in terms of a management role, I don't think

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Speaker 1: they shouldn't have any bearing on it. That if you're

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Speaker 1: if you're the breadwinner, I don't think it should have

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Speaker 1: any bearing. I mean, look, you're the cook manager and

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Speaker 1: I never debate what's for dinner. When you say what's

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Speaker 1: for dinner and I say that's all right, right, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's such a That is such a good point too,

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Speaker 1: because if someone's taking that role on and they're saying, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna make dinner. What if every single night you

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Speaker 1: were like, well I don't like my husband. It's like

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Speaker 1: I'm good, just gonna eat meat every night. You get

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Speaker 1: the thumbs up here that to Mike because you don't

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Speaker 1: want to do it and from and that's just it's

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Speaker 1: like my mom told me my little Rachel, never learn

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Speaker 1: how to use the lat more ever, because if you

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Speaker 1: learn how to do it, then you gotta have to

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Speaker 1: do it. So guess what, I don't know how to

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Speaker 1: use a lot more turn a lot of that garage stuff.

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Speaker 1: On'll never I'll never learn how to do it. No

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Speaker 1: time out, time out, Rachel. I have to call you

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Speaker 1: out because last time we talked on the phone. You

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Speaker 1: were saying that. Andrew was like, how do you not

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Speaker 1: know how many sods for yards or whatever? And I'm like, Rachel,

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Speaker 1: you don't need to know how many yards of sun

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Speaker 1: do you need? But yet he was expecting you to

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Speaker 1: know how much? But I did. Okay, so and I

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Speaker 1: did put a bunch of We were a team. We

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Speaker 1: were a team. Okay. I just have to say, Rachel

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Speaker 1: put that mulch down so once she could burn calories

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Speaker 1: and she could get steps in. Was it sunny that day?

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Speaker 1: If it was, she was getting a tan, got her tan,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, look at I worked out. I I

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Speaker 1: put out all right? Andrew? Oh um, no, it was funny.

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Speaker 1: Rol and I actually my husband I actually had that

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Speaker 1: exact conversation about like, because he is the primary bread winner.

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Speaker 1: And we had that conversation because there was a purchase

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Speaker 1: that came up and that we didn't quite agree with

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Speaker 1: and that he made or that you made that I made.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that I hadn't made it yet, but he

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Speaker 1: didn't agree with me making it. And can we ask

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Speaker 1: what it is? It was just like a gift for somebody.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't like a big thing. I think it's just

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Speaker 1: we have different philosophies and like gifting, like gifts for

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Speaker 1: the family and went to give gifts, and it's because

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Speaker 1: he just came from a slightly like his family is

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Speaker 1: just a little different in that regard, and so it's

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Speaker 1: something that we've always like kind of had a little

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Speaker 1: bit of disagreement with, and so we had a disagreement

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Speaker 1: on that, and it kind of came down to like

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Speaker 1: who has the final say and he's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you have the final say when it comes to everything

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Speaker 1: with Nola or daughter, and then I have the final

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Speaker 1: say kind of on the finances. But it wasn't as

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Speaker 1: like black and white as that. I think what it

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Speaker 1: really came down to is like, yes, I understand that

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Speaker 1: we make these decisions together, and it's really just about

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Speaker 1: kind of respecting the other person's role. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's kind of what it comes down to, is the

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Speaker 1: respect and the communication of it. So it's it's like, sure,

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Speaker 1: I can under I can acknowledge that you are the

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Speaker 1: manager of the finances or that you're the primary breadwinner,

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Speaker 1: and he acknowledges that I'm the manager mostly of like

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Speaker 1: Nola's food and schedule and school and everything else, and

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Speaker 1: and and even the bigger things related to our family

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Speaker 1: and and our lifestyle. But I think it's that we

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Speaker 1: still address it as a team, and it's not so

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Speaker 1: much final say. It's just that at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, we respect that that person is kind of

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Speaker 1: more the authority on those things, because the final say

404
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Speaker 1: is just such a dead end, and it doesn't feel

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Speaker 1: like a very collaborative like word to put to it.

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Speaker 1: But I think we that's just kind of how we

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Speaker 1: approach it, is that like if there really was a

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Speaker 1: big conflict, we would still work it out together. It's

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Speaker 1: not like, well, this is what I'm saying, and like

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Speaker 1: that's it. Like it's it's my way or the highway

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Speaker 1: type thing. So it's not the best phrase to put

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Speaker 1: to it. But I just think that we're okay with

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Speaker 1: like I'm okay that he's the primary redwinner and and

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Speaker 1: but we still make those decisions together and say, well,

415
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Speaker 1: how did that conversation? Is different than like, like that's

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Speaker 1: a much bigger thing. Although it's a good analogy, I

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Speaker 1: think finances are still a much bigger thing than like

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Speaker 1: the schedule for our child or something I would maybe

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Speaker 1: equated more to like how we're disciplining our child, because

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's maybe on the same level of finances, right,

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Speaker 1: like in terms of like importance of the like your

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Speaker 1: beliefs on that topic. Did you give the gift like that?

423
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 1: Andrew was like, you can't send that gift. I don't know.

424
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: It wasn't like that. I think it just more was

425
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,640
Speaker 1: like that conversation that kind of prompted the bigger conversation

426
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 1: of I think that's really earlier on in our marriage

427
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 1: when we kind of discovered like whose role is what?

428
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 1: Because actually at the time, I think that was early

429
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 1: on when we had when we had Nola. But either way,

430
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 1: it was it was more just like that specific situation

431
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,040
Speaker 1: that kind of prompted the bigger conversation of kind of

432
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,919
Speaker 1: how we're working through that type of stuff and how

433
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 1: we're just communicating about it. But I mean, Mike and

434
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 1: I we had a similar recently conversation about it's just

435
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: about having the conversation, conversation and just respecting the other

436
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 1: person and saying, hey, so we we had an amount,

437
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: and now if there's anything over that amount, we say, hey,

438
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 1: you know, I would really like this, you know, because

439
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 1: it's not asking permission. It's about respect. And I think

440
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: I know that you've had a hard time with that

441
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: because you said, like you feel like you're asking permission,

442
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 1: and I kept saying, it's not about I don't you

443
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 1: don't need to ask for my I'm not your mom.

444
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,400
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it's just I would ask

445
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: you just It's just it's just a respect thing, right, Yeah,

446
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 1: And I mean I'm more comfortable with it now than

447
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 1: I had been in the past. Um, but I make

448
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 1: up that that is, uh, it's a little bit more

449
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 1: difficult for men um maybe than it is for women.

450
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: And that's maybe generalizing a little bit, but just in

451
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: my person will experience it. It's felt difficult in all honesty,

452
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 1: even even now with all the work that Jan and

453
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: I've done in general and our couple of ships, and

454
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 1: and on this topic, even now, if I was making

455
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: if I was say the primary breadwinner, like if I

456
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 1: was playing football still and I was making that kind

457
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: of money again, I would have more confidence going and

458
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: buying something and coming home with it. Say, I want

459
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: to go buy a you know, a thousand dollar a gun.

460
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 1: I came home with it and Jan I was like,

461
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 1: why did you buy that? And I was like, well,

462
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: because I wanted to get it, you know, like I

463
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: would be confident if I do that now, I would

464
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 1: be like I'm a dead man. No no, no, no,

465
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: no, no no, no no no no. I only say that

466
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 1: because that's irresponsible. Regardless, it shouldn't matter whether I'm making

467
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: the money, you're making the money, that that would be

468
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: irresponsible to do. I'm just saying it's like my psyche

469
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 1: would would feel more confident. You still don't think you

470
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 1: asked her for like that amount, And I guess I

471
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 1: don't know right, Like it's so tough because I agree,

472
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 1: like if there's like I'm not asking Ryan I every

473
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: time I buy something that Target, because I'll know I'd

474
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 1: be just like seriously, like Target came again, I'm like,

475
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,120
Speaker 1: I must have just bought a couple of things. But

476
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 1: I don't know if like I don't know, I don't

477
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: know if I ever would be like if I bought

478
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 1: like a big item, no matter how much money, I

479
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: feel like I still would ask or he would ask,

480
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think it was a

481
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 1: big turning point from Mike. He went to a gun

482
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 1: store actually with your friend Matt. I don't know if

483
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: you want to tell that story or not. But I

484
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: feel like that it clicked for you in that moment

485
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: before you tell the story if you bought one or not,

486
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: But did you at that point? So I guess I'm

487
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 1: kind of looking Mike in your sense of Gianna. If

488
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 1: he brought one home, you would have already maybe had

489
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 1: an idea that that would be something that he would want, right, Like,

490
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be like an out of the blue whatever

491
00:25:58,480 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 1: it is, right you know what I mean? If it's

492
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 1: like a big purchase item and if somebody I like,

493
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: like I've really been wanting this and you know I have,

494
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: then I'd be like, oh, you know, it wouldn't be

495
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: like a conversation of like boom, I got this like

496
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: Twitter thing. And I think the problem with this is honestly,

497
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 1: like the word ask. It's like it's so like and

498
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 1: my husband Andrew were a married word team, like, doesn't

499
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 1: we need to ask permission? I actually just I hate

500
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: that word. I hate that. I hate that whole thing

501
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 1: like ask, Like we are a team, right, so if

502
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 1: we have a budget, if we have like and you know,

503
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: you're communicating about finances and maybe you want to do

504
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: X Y and Z with the kids, and you want

505
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: to take a trip just for you guys, and you're

506
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,719
Speaker 1: planning on doing maybe like some type of renovation or something.

507
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: I don't think it should even be like I need

508
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: to ask your permission. I think it's like, hey, I'm

509
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,679
Speaker 1: thinking about giving this. I know we want to do X,

510
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: Y and Z, like what's collaborate. I hate that whole,

511
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: like ask right, because it's so so good idea and

512
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,439
Speaker 1: I and I hear you, Yeah, we're one unit. I

513
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: just to me, I just hate that. Yeah and we

514
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: and we hear you on that. I think that's where,

515
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: you know, we've gotten stuck in our situation where for

516
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 1: Mike at least, where he's like I don't want to

517
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: feel like I have to ask you, and it's like

518
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 1: I never want you to feel like you have to ask.

519
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: It's just I personally just would never even buy a

520
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 1: pair of shoes that being like, hey, is it okay

521
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 1: if I get these was I've really wanted them for

522
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: a really long time. And it's just because I just

523
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 1: would feel bad because hey, it's a it's a chunk

524
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: of money and I don't really do it a lot,

525
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,239
Speaker 1: but you know, I will say at least, if I'm

526
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: being honest, I would have been frustrated if he came

527
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 1: home with a new gun, because he had just bought

528
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,360
Speaker 1: a bunch of new guns, and so I'd have been like, man,

529
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: like you needed like a six you know, however many

530
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: guns like, so I wouldn't. I would have felt a

531
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 1: little upset about that. And I think too, it's about

532
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: expectations right where it's almost unspoken expectations where in a

533
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: situation you almost expect your spouse to handle the situation

534
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: the same way you would. So when Janna, like at

535
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 1: sits there and she does come to me and like, hey,

536
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,639
Speaker 1: would you mind if I bought these parachutes, I'm like,

537
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 1: I never give Jane crap about anything, like when it

538
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 1: comes to money or purchasing, I'm just like yeah, like,

539
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 1: and it's it's ultimately because I default to trusting her,

540
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: like she wouldn't do it if it was irresponsible, She

541
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,159
Speaker 1: wouldn't do it if it wasn't something she really wanted

542
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: or just out of the blue, kind of like to

543
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 1: your point, Lisa, where you know, if Ryan's been talking

544
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 1: about golf clubs and he came home with a new set,

545
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 1: you'd be like Okay, yeah, you've been talking about that

546
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: instead of he comes home with a motorcycle one day

547
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: and you're like, wait, what you know? So so I

548
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: definitely get that. I think that's a really great point

549
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: kind of if it's something that they've been talking about

550
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: so unfairly. I must expect Janna in the past more

551
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: so to almost not give me crap, because I never

552
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: give her crap about things, even when she you know,

553
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: Jane is very free real but when it comes on

554
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: like vacations or she wants to take trips with the

555
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 1: kids or this or that, you know, I never give

556
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: a crap about money. And that's ten times more than

557
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about getting. But it's with the family,

558
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 1: it's with the kids and experience of memory and all

559
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 1: that stuff. But still money is green in each scenario,

560
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 1: you know. But she's justifying it probably because she's like,

561
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of the family and I'm thinking of together,

562
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: not like and I just yeah, and I just said

563
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I think it's something

564
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: where it's again like I'm not saying ask at all.

565
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: It's just like, hey, a thousand dollar you know, um gun,

566
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 1: you know, this is something I really want just a conversation.

567
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: Like all I want is just like a conversation, just

568
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 1: like you're in the dark, and you know, like, unfortunately,

569
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: I feel like and I'm not trying to get down,

570
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 1: but I think I have little trigger issues around money

571
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 1: just because of issues of our past, and like, yeah,

572
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: where it's just like, oh man, you know where I

573
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: feel not respected in that in that sense, you know,

574
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: but you've you know obviously, like the communication now has

575
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 1: been incredible, and you know we've been on a on

576
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: a better place together. You know. Well, let's let's take

577
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: a break real quick. We'll wrap this up and move

578
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: on to something. Okay, So, Chelsea, what happened tonight that

579
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: you wanted to talk about? Yeah? Oh yeah, I totally

580
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: forgot about that. Uh. I feel like it's like a

581
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: miscommunication thing or it's just like what the hell are

582
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: you thinking? In terms of the um timing, like of husbands,

583
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 1: it's like this ring, so I like, we're eating dinner

584
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: and it's our son, who's you know, eighteen months. He

585
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 1: goes to sleep at like seven fifteen, pretty much like

586
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 1: before seven thirty. Olivia goes to sleep around eight eat thirty,

587
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, he's like so messy from eating dinner.

588
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, if I were to take him in

589
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: the shower right now, would you get him out and

590
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: put him to bed, because he like clearly needs a

591
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: shower right now, and so I would just do that.

592
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 1: But like for me to put him in the shower

593
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: and get him out of the shower and put him

594
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: to bed, it's like I would be talking to you

595
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: guys at ten o'clock, you know what I mean. It's

596
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 1: just like so much to do along with putting Olivia

597
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 1: to sleep, like everything would have been pushed back. So

598
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah for sure, so yeah, yeah, go ahead,

599
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: because I'm like, you know, I want to be on

600
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: time for the eight thirty thing, and like Olivia has

601
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: to go to sleep. So like he and his poker

602
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 1: was at eight thirties, so like we all had this

603
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: like eight thirty deadline to get everything done. So we're

604
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: I'm like cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, and then

605
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, he disappears, and I'm like where

606
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: is he? And I'm literally looking everywhere for him, and

607
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 1: he's outside and I was like, where are you? And

608
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: he we just got a swing set, so like they

609
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: left the boxes in the back they like packed all

610
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 1: the boxes in a one big box, and our garbage

611
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: comes tomorrow. So he's like bringing this garbage box up

612
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: from our backyard. Like I just ask you if you

613
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: could get the baby out of Like I have like

614
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: six minutes to do this. Okay, it's like shower everything

615
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: off the baby. You take him out of the shower.

616
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 1: I get it, Like this is gonna be like a

617
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: six seven minute situation, like quick quick, Then he goes

618
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: to bed, not like I'm waiting forty five minutes for

619
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: you to get garbage from downstairs outside upstairs, and like

620
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 1: what if I And I just think, what if I

621
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: would have just gone in the shower, I would have

622
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: been literally waiting for for forty minutes. What time was

623
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: your trash come? Did he feel like he needed to

624
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: do it first? Thing? Like like Just I have no ideas,

625
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: Like look, we're single minded creatures. Okay, we do one

626
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: thing at time. We're like squirrel. So when we see

627
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: that squirrel, we gotta to go take care of it

628
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 1: right then and there. And I will say this to

629
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: Just and this is just uh, you know again expectations.

630
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: If he didn't get it then and he forgot and

631
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 1: it did go out tomorrow morning and the trash comes

632
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: and you show the trash, would you, Chelsea say, hey, Tad,

633
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: why didn't you take the boxes to the trash? You know,

634
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,959
Speaker 1: the trash comes today, why didn't you take it out there?

635
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: Because it needed to go. It is really interesting about

636
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: guy timing though, because just the other day, you know,

637
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 1: we were having a snow cone thing with Jolie and

638
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, everyone's coming at two thirty, and it's

639
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 1: like he's just sitting there putting together, like you know,

640
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 1: and and it's for the family. Like what he's putting

641
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: together is for the family together. The trampoline that we

642
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: got that morning, right, and I get it and it's

643
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: so great, But like there were so many other things

644
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: that you know, I needed help with and I'm just like, hey,

645
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 1: everyone's coming, and what time do you think he finally

646
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 1: goes to change and get ready when everybody comes changing changing,

647
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: get ready before This isn't the breakup, but I mean

648
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: when when and anger came over, it was like, hey,

649
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like you're getting like you get

650
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: ready right when the doorbell rings and I'm like, oh

651
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: my god, And I mean get ready. I came out front,

652
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 1: but it's just I'm sweating, and I'm like, okay, I'll

653
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: get all of it. Like it's it's the ice and

654
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: the called. You gotta get a little, you know, a

655
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: little Okay that quote where it's like, hey, honey, I'm

656
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: totally ready, the kids are up, the cars, floaded, let's go,

657
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I just kind of get in the shower.

658
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 1: That's my life. And so now I'm like, Okay, if

659
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: I tell me have to leave it for, then will

660
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 1: actually be ready at for to help me. So, oh,

661
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: that's a good idea. I should start doing that to

662
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: Jannah then always for the snow cone party. You know

663
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 1: what you Mike, the snow cone parties at two not

664
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: too thirties. Great, honey, all you gotta do is put

665
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,320
Speaker 1: together this little bench and put a snow cone machine

666
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: on top of it. No, no, no, no, what's what's

667
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 1: the big deal? What's the big deal? It's not that hard.

668
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: It's not that hard to do any like that's what

669
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 1: is just like crazy or Ryan's big thing. I'm gonna

670
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 1: go pack the car, Lisa, what are you packing? Like

671
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 1: what is he packing? But like whatever, And then in

672
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: his defense, then he will say like okay, so and

673
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 1: this is where as Mom's were wrong, So what can

674
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 1: I do to help? And I'm like, what what do

675
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:37,919
Speaker 1: you want me to put the kids in? And it's

676
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 1: almost easier for me to be like, okay, well I'll

677
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 1: just do it, you know, like that. So that's where

678
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, shoot, if I had them more together

679
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 1: and laid everything out, then he could be doing it,

680
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,359
Speaker 1: but you know, or then like well, and he will

681
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 1: help me, like so what should I pack the kids

682
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: for dinner? And it's it's almost like easier for me

683
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 1: to like just do it, but then I'm still stressed out.

684
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 1: But even so I feel again that comes to expectations

685
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 1: because we could pack something for dinner, but then we

686
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 1: pull out what we get brought for dinner? You bought that?

687
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: Why did you bring greats? I told you I wanted

688
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: you bring melon. We need to get rid of that melon. Well,

689
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: who's the manager of who's supposed to be doing so

690
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,840
Speaker 1: whoever is the manager? Like Andrea said, whoever is the

691
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: manager needs to then pack that food because you are

692
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 1: the manager of what they're eating, right, But the thing

693
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: is if you were like, hey, manager when it's convenient

694
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: for you. A good manager. Manager delegates what you're eating.

695
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: That is such a big thing for me because I

696
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: want the kids to eat mostly organic if they can,

697
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 1: I try to get them to eat like this is.

698
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 1: I don't let really let them eat junk food for

699
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 1: the most part, but Jimmy is a big dunk food eater.

700
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 1: So people be like, it's so funny. Olivia always raps

701
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: them out and she'll be like, guess what Danny just

702
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,399
Speaker 1: gave me? What did you guys? What was I think

703
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: she called it the one time I remember that video

704
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 1: I sent you and she was calling Oreo like, oh diarrheo,

705
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I should tell this story on the podcast.

706
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: It is so funny. I mean we are recording. I

707
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: will just say something really fast though. We went to

708
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: the grocery store at the very first time I've ever

709
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: been to the grocery store in a month and a half.

710
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: I mean I went with him. We had them, I

711
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: had the mask on and everything. And again I'm the

712
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: cooking the family. I'm the shopper when it comes to

713
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: grocery store. And I said, by the time we got done,

714
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: I was like, it looked like a twelve year old boy,

715
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,919
Speaker 1: like picked everything out in the shopping cart because every

716
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 1: I we're walking down, I'm with these, I'm with these.

717
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 1: It literally felt like I had a third kid, Like

718
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: Gina put that away. We don't need princess fruit snacks, Yes, dude,

719
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: you always love them. We got the Princess goldfish today.

720
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: I meant quarantine. We spent two dollars because Janna came

721
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: with me today. Mike, I hear you. If I ever

722
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 1: go grocery shopping with my husband, which it's been forever

723
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: since that's happened, but he's literally like the kid that

724
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: is like reaching from there into like the impulse by

725
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 1: section and getting like the candy. I mean, no joke,

726
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: I will you guys would die if you found out

727
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 1: how many Mini Cabale eggs shipments we had some. Yes,

728
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: that's how I mean, starting in January. As soon as

729
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: those things become available for the year, he is like,

730
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 1: they will and apparently my day we live we live

731
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: with my parents right now because our house is being built.

732
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: Apparently my dad is obsessed with these things too, so

733
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 1: they have like these dueling shipments of mini caver eggs

734
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: coming in My husbands Like I got a six pound

735
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: bag coming in? What about you? John, I'm like, that's

736
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: what I'm doing with Okay, let's take a quick break,

737
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 1: and then I want to come back because I want

738
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 1: to bring up something that happened the other day and

739
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: I would love my girl's in pets. So, um, stay tuned. Okay,

740
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: So remember a girl when I talked to you the

741
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 1: other night and I said that Michael and I got

742
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 1: into a little bit of a tiff. Okay, So I

743
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: just kind of want to get some input because I

744
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: want to know how to be a better wife in

745
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: this situation. So I would love y'alls input. Why are

746
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: you looking at me like that? Because I don't know

747
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 1: growing up thing. I want to know how I can

748
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 1: be yeah, like very impressed. No, I just because I

749
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all are like this, but I'm

750
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 1: assuming we're from the same cough. Um so um. About

751
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 1: a week and a half ago, Um, I woke up

752
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 1: with the kids, and most most mornings, Mike has the

753
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 1: kids because he wakes up at six to do his

754
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: meditation and he reads his books and um, and then

755
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 1: you know, he gets Jolie wakes up, and then Jason.

756
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:54,280
Speaker 1: Then I wake up like an hour later and um

757
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: and so. But this morning, I took the kids and

758
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: I'm cleaning and you know, doing the dishes is in

759
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: doing laundry, and in my in my mind, I was

760
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 1: so excited to see Mike. I was so excited to

761
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: say good morning, like I I I really wanted that

762
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: opportunity to say good morning to him. Um and Julie

763
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: kept saying, Mommy, can we make up daddy? And I

764
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: said no, baby, like let him sleep. And I had started,

765
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: you know, folding the laundry, and then I heard Jolie

766
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 1: you know, go into the room and I was just like, oh,

767
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: like I wasn't ready to see Mike yet because I

768
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: was in my mode. And I know when I get

769
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 1: in my frame of mind, I'm very one dimensional and

770
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 1: I and I just go and I know I talked

771
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: about this last podcast, but you know, it's really been

772
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 1: sitting with me because I don't know. And then when

773
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: I saw Mike, I was like, hey, um, hey, just

774
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 1: so you know, can you pick up the clothes because

775
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: you know so and so and this and like it's

776
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: in the corner. And then the maids. I really liked

777
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: the maids to come because they said they with their

778
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: masks and you know, blah blah blah, and we haven't

779
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 1: had them in two months in the house a little

780
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: and I'm having this conversation and he's just like, I

781
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 1: just woke up, you know, but I've already been up

782
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:05,240
Speaker 1: for three hours. So I'm just curious, have you guys

783
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: had that same situation? Because he woke up with sex?

784
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 1: So turn half actually question, I had the timer on

785
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 1: the morning, but who are you a morning person? I'm

786
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: a total morning person, but it's my morning person. I

787
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: am now. He is now, but he doesn't like to

788
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 1: be in his It's a gradual process. Jenna wakes up.

789
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: It's like I'm up, Like I wake up and I'm like, hey,

790
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: good morning, and he's like like and so I so

791
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: you know when I was doing all those things and

792
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 1: he wakes up and he's he feels and totally rightfully

793
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: so and I'm so sorry, Like I had every intention

794
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: of being like good morning, day, but I couldn't meet

795
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 1: him there because I was just already in my work

796
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 1: mode and I wasn't there and I had already skipped

797
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 1: that place. So I'm like, have you guys dealt with

798
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 1: that before? And yes, go yeah, So guilty. I have

799
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 1: totally done that. And then Ryan will even call me

800
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 1: out and he'll be like, hi, honey, how are you,

801
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: And I'm like oh, and then I do feel guilty

802
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my gosh, you're right. I just

803
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 1: and it wasn't like I was coming at I'm like

804
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: annoyed or anything like that. I was just like, hey,

805
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 1: like this is what I'm trying to get done today.

806
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, I should take a step back,

807
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: and like that's on me, like you know that I

808
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: should have been like, hey, how are you and then

809
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 1: taking a breather, but instead it's like the first thing

810
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: is like, well, I need you to fix this. I

811
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: need to do that. And it's not because I, like

812
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 1: I said, I'm annoyed that I was up doing something first,

813
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 1: like that's just where my frame of mind is. And

814
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 1: he's kind of almost like almost like head to like

815
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 1: be like hey, like check yourself that, like hey, how

816
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 1: are you? And I'm like, oh, you're right, Like I

817
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:51,480
Speaker 1: think that's that like slow down, that printer is still

818
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: going to be there in the next ten minutes. After

819
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 1: I have met cup of coffee and you say good

820
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 1: morning to me, and in my head. I'm like when

821
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm trying to put this off, and I'm like and

822
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: it's like and it's so and it's on me and

823
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 1: I know it, and I'm like, oh, and then I

824
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 1: feel guilty. And then I tried to backtrack for that.

825
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, that's the thing. I kept backtracking and

826
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: then I was keeping making it worse. I'm sorry, but

827
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 1: I totally hiddacted and like that, and then like and

828
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 1: then we got into a worse argument after that, Rachel

829
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 1: what he got. I think it goes back to, like

830
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: it's we're in COVID, we're in shelter and place or

831
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: social distancing, right, and like we are trying to keep

832
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: up with our normal routines, right, our normals. And you

833
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:31,839
Speaker 1: deal with anxiety, Jana, be Lisa, you do too, And

834
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of us control and manage

835
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: our anxiety by like having a plan and getting things

836
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,839
Speaker 1: done and staying organized. And it's really hard to know

837
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 1: when to like pull back and soften. And it's like

838
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: in general, like when you look at for myself personally,

839
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 1: like the transition to being at home and having your

840
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: whole routine just like blow up and and having your

841
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: husband home all the time and like having me kids

842
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:03,240
Speaker 1: there and then have going to like be like sexy

843
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 1: and romantic and loving and like all this stuff. When

844
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: everything just blow up, I think it's just really about

845
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 1: trying to soften. And I would say, like the first

846
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 1: couple of weeks of going through this, it was hard,

847
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 1: and then just like being able to pull back and

848
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: let some of the stuff go and let yourself like

849
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 1: soften and say certain things just don't matter, so you

850
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:29,280
Speaker 1: have that time to kind of connect more with your spouse.

851
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 1: Like today, I'm I know, I've like thirty minutes before

852
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: the kids wake up from nap, and Andrew's just got

853
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 1: a conference call on the beastment and he texts me.

854
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, baby, like what you're doing? Oh my gosh,

855
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 1: like mess like and I literally have I literally have

856
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 1: the cleaning supplies out, and I'm like, I have a

857
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 1: half hour, you know all this stuff. I can get

858
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 1: this half hour right, Like that's my plan. I'm gonna

859
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 1: get all clean. And he's like, hey, baby, can I

860
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 1: come up? You want to hang out? And in my head,

861
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:04,479
Speaker 1: I'm like the first thing I wanted to respond because

862
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: he's in the basement and I'm the second level and

863
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: I and I want to respond like, oh my gosh,

864
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of the cleaning like now, but

865
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: that was like, hold back, it's really important right now, right,

866
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, sure, come on, but it's hard,

867
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: like I feel like that takes time, right. I just

868
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 1: think it's a couple of things. I think to your

869
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: point rage, we're all looking for some sense of control

870
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: right now, especially like in this world right now that

871
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: the future is a little uncertain right so we don't

872
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 1: know what it's gonna look like. So I think what

873
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: I've tried to keep in mind is I'm trying to

874
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 1: empathize with people in in trying to be conscious of

875
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 1: the ways in which that may come out for them.

876
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 1: Like my mom who is like obsessing over like oh,

877
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 1: I have to find geese because I have to make bread,

878
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 1: and I'm like wanting to freak out on her, like

879
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 1: like Mom, it's like who cares about bread? But then

880
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 1: I'm realizing this is her outlet, like that's what she

881
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 1: needs right now to create some sense of control. And

882
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 1: I think that's one silly example, but I think it's important,

883
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: I guess not lose sight of that and just be

884
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: a little more forgiving and give people a little more

885
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,479
Speaker 1: leeway during this time. And so I think that's one

886
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 1: piece of it. But I guess so I think my

887
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,800
Speaker 1: husband's pretty understanding of that because I think I'm looking

888
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 1: for that control too, because I am a pretty type

889
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:28,839
Speaker 1: a person. But I think outside of quarantine, it's about

890
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 1: meeting in the middle. I think to the whole example, Janna,

891
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: like the fight and everything like we do that, I

892
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:36,919
Speaker 1: am totally like very similar to you, and I think

893
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 1: the rest of us like go go go, Like I

894
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 1: have my checklist, I want to get things done. I

895
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's all about kind of the work

896
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 1: ahead of me. And my husband has said to me

897
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: a few times like hey, like I'm here, hello, Like

898
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 1: can you slow down? Can you like pause for a minute,

899
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,360
Speaker 1: Can you give me a kiss? Can you like hold

900
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 1: my hand? And so I appreciate that he calls that

901
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: out to me, and so I try to be more

902
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 1: conscious of that, I think day to day. And I

903
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 1: think I've also tried to let him into like what's

904
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 1: going on in my brain too, so that he kind

905
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 1: of understands why I'm maybe not slowing down as much

906
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: and all the things I need to get done, and

907
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: not just what I need to get done, but what

908
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 1: is actually required to get each thing done, because I

909
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 1: think sometimes it's a lot more than he thinks. But

910
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: then the other piece of it is, like again, I

911
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: think it's really just meeting in the middle because I'm

912
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 1: the type of person and he knows me that, like

913
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: when I get on a particular task, this is not

914
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 1: every task, but when I get on a particular task,

915
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 1: I get my mindset on it and like nothing else matters,

916
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 1: I need to finish it. And so I think he

917
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 1: respects that in certain tasks and maybe not in everything,

918
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: but I think he respects that and and kind of

919
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 1: gives gives me that moment at times. But then again

920
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 1: I'm trying to also meet him in the middle and

921
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 1: remember that it's okay to slow down and not be

922
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 1: like ships passing in the night all the time, and

923
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,720
Speaker 1: like shows him affection or just like pause and enjoy

924
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 1: the little moments rather than just like checking and chipping

925
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 1: away at my to do list because it's still going

926
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: to be there tomorrow. That's good. I like that. Um,

927
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 1: before we take another break and then go to emails, Mike,

928
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: do you have anything for the ladies? Like you know,

929
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: how to how to deal with your wife for you

930
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 1: know questions. I mean, that's just really driving you crazy

931
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 1: that you just want to know. Not really not right now.

932
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 1: But I will say and this is just and Janna

933
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 1: can attest to this, just my personality. And I don't

934
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 1: know if it comes from a place of defensiveness or well,

935
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: where it really comes from is you know, take these

936
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: scenarios that we're talking about right now, you know, and

937
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: if I was that way to Joanna the way she

938
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 1: was to me that morning, like how would that make

939
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 1: her feel? So it's and that's where I feel, you

940
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 1: know again just like the manager of the house and

941
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 1: this and that where the double standards come into play.

942
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 1: Where it is that that grey area for a lot

943
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: of these topics that even if you have great communication,

944
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,879
Speaker 1: even if you try to stay ahead of this, those

945
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: are inevitable situations and just to be able to have

946
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: grace with one another that you know, we don't need

947
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 1: to escalate it. But just understand why that morning I

948
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 1: would be upset, you know, we're frustrated because it to me,

949
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: it validated my fears of the one morning in the

950
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: last ten days that you got the kids and I

951
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 1: met with, Hey, hey, we need to do this. You

952
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: need to pick up your clothes. I'm like, now, all

953
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 1: of a sudden, literally, I even said to Gain at

954
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 1: one point when I felt bombard, I was like, you

955
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 1: know what, I should have just gotten up, sorry, I

956
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: shouldn't have slept in And I was like, oh my god, no,

957
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, and like I was like being apologetic.

958
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry. I was like, I just

959
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 1: like I just was doing dishes and laundry. I'm so sorry.

960
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 1: Like I was being for sure apologetic in that moment,

961
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: and I was frustrated that it happened like that, Mike,

962
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 1: when she apologizes to like that and you see that

963
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 1: she genuinely wasn't trying to hurt your feelings or like

964
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 1: just did it unknowingly? Do you guys just like give

965
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 1: each other hugging, like all right, like let's start over

966
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 1: or okay, you know when you would just say I

967
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 1: understand or is it something where you kind of hold

968
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,840
Speaker 1: a grudge on it and then you guys have a

969
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 1: chip on the rest of the day. By the way,

970
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 1: I wasn't like hey, I was like, hey, good morning.

971
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,760
Speaker 1: Like I wasn't like super friendly, but I wasn't super

972
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: bitchy either, you know. I was like, I was like

973
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 1: in the middle. So I was like it made me

974
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 1: sound really bitchy. And then I was like, oh, I

975
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: don't like that. Like you know, I was like I

976
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,280
Speaker 1: would never say hey, Like you know, I was like, hey,

977
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 1: great question, like the perfect pitch for you, just to

978
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: wonder how mad she kissed me? Right, and yes, exact

979
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 1: great question. And we both we've done both. We've had

980
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 1: those moments where we've apologized, Hey, I'm sorry, I was

981
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:47,320
Speaker 1: just annoyed. All right, love you, We're good. Um that morning,

982
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: I think again, when it's depending on the situation, like

983
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: I said, for me, underneath of it was validated the fear.

984
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 1: It's like the one morning I chose to sleep in,

985
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 1: you know, regardless of all the other mornings that I

986
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,320
Speaker 1: get up for or and get the kids, it's already

987
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 1: held against me. I make up this story that she's

988
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: that way because of me, because she had to get up,

989
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 1: and and then when she adds on top of it,

990
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 1: you know, going straight and I this goes back to

991
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 1: my childhood. I hate being bombarded. Like even when my

992
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 1: parents give me chores, I'm like, look, give me one

993
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:18,799
Speaker 1: at a time. Don't tell me, hey, do this after that,

994
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 1: you need to do this, after that, you need to

995
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 1: do this, and so on top of that, Jana has

996
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:26,240
Speaker 1: given me like two three things on top of what's

997
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: going on, and I'm just like shutting down for sure.

998
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:32,800
Speaker 1: And I totally see that, and I like, I super

999
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 1: apologize for that because I can see that, and I

1000
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 1: remember being like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. But

1001
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: I feel like by that point, it's like the first

1002
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 1: thing I said, it was already out the window. I

1003
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: had that I had, and I kept apologizing, and I

1004
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: was just like and I almost kept digging because I

1005
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 1: was apologizing more. And I think it made him because

1006
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 1: maybe from Mike's point of view, he's like, well, you

1007
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 1: said it, so there was some truth story. You said

1008
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 1: it in that tone, so you must have had something,

1009
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 1: you know, and there wasn't. I was just like right.

1010
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,719
Speaker 1: And the fact that, like she said, even though she

1011
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 1: was apologizing, she was taking deeper because because then she

1012
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 1: was saying things like, well, Jolie hijack the morning. I

1013
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 1: was like, even if Julie came in, okay, be frustrated

1014
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 1: with Jolie, don't take that out on me like I

1015
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 1: wouldn't take that out on you, you know, So it's

1016
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 1: like I felt like it was just defensive excuses that

1017
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, why can't you just say I'm really sorry?

1018
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: I came in that way I was frustrated with Jolie,

1019
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: But can we start the day over? And I think

1020
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:33,399
Speaker 1: that's and I think that's where we can do better

1021
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 1: as a couple to where we you know, we both

1022
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 1: can say I can say that, and then also like

1023
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: if I if I can't meet me there, then you

1024
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 1: can say, hey, I'm sorry that really frustrated me, and

1025
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 1: like to speak your feelings too, because like I didn't

1026
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 1: know that you were because I ended up saying I'm sorry,

1027
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: and you know, you didn't tell me that you were upset,

1028
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 1: so it was just like then you didn't express your feelings.

1029
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 1: So I think it's just about like staying on top

1030
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:00,040
Speaker 1: of your feelings well. And I think it's also of

1031
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: the perfect example of you let out your frustrations on

1032
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 1: no matter who it's with, with the person you're closest to,

1033
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 1: right like something's going wrong, Like you know, Ryan will

1034
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 1: come home from work and he's just like, oh hey,

1035
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, like, oh hey, but it's because he's

1036
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: been talking and like all day and it's not right.

1037
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:21,279
Speaker 1: It's not towards me. So then I'm like okay. But

1038
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 1: then I'm like, but that's like when I was working,

1039
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 1: I like I can I can see it, like you

1040
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:28,359
Speaker 1: kind of like put down your wall and your frustration.

1041
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:30,920
Speaker 1: And I just think everybody takes it personally because we

1042
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 1: all want, you know, But I know I've been guilty

1043
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 1: of it the other way. I've been like being like, oh, yeah,

1044
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 1: well I'm doing X, Y and Z, you know. So

1045
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: I think that's a tough thing to we take out,

1046
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:41,959
Speaker 1: you know, how mad we are, or like if the kids,

1047
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: like you said, munturely hijacked it, like I know when

1048
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm frustrated with the kids, and then Ryan says something,

1049
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 1: I'm like yeah, and he kind of like laughs at

1050
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 1: me almost because he's just like wait a minute, Like

1051
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 1: I totally was not the one that was just in

1052
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,359
Speaker 1: trouble right now. I'm like, Okay, you're right, you know,

1053
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 1: but I mean I just think that's anything, right, like

1054
00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:59,360
Speaker 1: your kids crying in front of you more than anyone

1055
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 1: because it's like safe zone. I just think you nood

1056
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 1: question you wanna take one more break and then get

1057
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 1: to some of these. Okay, alright, so have a good

1058
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: DM that just came to the Wine Down podcast Instagram.

1059
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 1: How do you handle when you have different parenting views

1060
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 1: with your spouse? I e. My husband and I disagree

1061
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 1: on what our toildler can and cannot eat in the

1062
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 1: size of the bites. However, my husband never feeds him

1063
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: but always puts his two cents in or thinks he's

1064
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:41,240
Speaker 1: choking every time he coughs when eating. Honestly, this sounds

1065
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 1: so dumb as I type it, but it drives me crazy.

1066
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 1: And yes, I've told my husband he can eat certain

1067
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:49,280
Speaker 1: things um or fine, you feed him, but we always

1068
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: are in this cycle. So how do you guys deal

1069
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,359
Speaker 1: with different parenting views with your spouse. Let me just

1070
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,960
Speaker 1: say this in response, I can't defend this guy. He

1071
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 1: needs to shut the hell up if he's not if

1072
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 1: he's not the one being or picking the foods, like,

1073
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: shut up. You don't know how manager and that and

1074
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 1: that's just again from from our relationship, from us doing

1075
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 1: a lot of things equally. I just if it's something

1076
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 1: that Janna slowly does, I trust her to do that. Now,

1077
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 1: if it's something I solely do. Jenna is inquisitive and

1078
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:24,560
Speaker 1: still wants to ask questions and challenge at times, but

1079
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 1: that respectfully. If you disagree to it, respectfully, don't do

1080
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 1: it in a way not collaborative or counterproductive, or especially

1081
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 1: in front of the child in a hole. Do you

1082
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 1: guys have any issues with y'all's husbands at all about

1083
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:44,360
Speaker 1: just parenting differently? Well, I know we were talking earlier

1084
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 1: about Yeah, I think I know what she weirds she's

1085
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:50,800
Speaker 1: coming from. It's a little different. I totally agree with

1086
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 1: with Mike and you guys what you're saying if you're

1087
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 1: not going to participate in it, like but out of

1088
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 1: having an opinion on it. But in terms of different parents,

1089
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 1: it's the same thing. Like my husband loves junk food

1090
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: and I just didn't grow up with junk food. Like

1091
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 1: we never had um pop in our house. We never

1092
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 1: had junk food in our house. It was just something

1093
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 1: that I like never grew up with. And we never

1094
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 1: really had candy in our house. Like we definitely had

1095
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,319
Speaker 1: like pastries and things like that, which is probably why

1096
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:21,879
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to cake. But like it's just something that

1097
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 1: I don't see is valuable for the kids in their lifestyle,

1098
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 1: especially when they're babies, Like they just don't need sugar,

1099
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 1: they don't need inflammatory foods, you know, when they're diet So,

1100
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 1: like I was telling you guys earlier, you know, my

1101
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 1: husband will secretly give our kids oreos or something like that,

1102
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:46,800
Speaker 1: and like, like Mike, you just gave a judging parents.

1103
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:51,840
Speaker 1: It was like, because I mean, I like some junk food,

1104
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 1: but still I'm not like giving it, sneaking it to

1105
00:56:55,719 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 1: the kids. I just feel if it's going to be

1106
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 1: healthy for them, I mean I'm not I'm not crazy

1107
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:06,919
Speaker 1: about it. Obviously, they eat ice cream, they eat cake,

1108
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,920
Speaker 1: they eat other things. But it's just like it can

1109
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 1: be a treat, you know, if she does something great,

1110
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 1: if our kids do something great, it can be like

1111
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:16,439
Speaker 1: that's a great treat to give her an oreo, give

1112
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: her Eminem's or something like that. But she doesn't need

1113
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: to just at in the morning have an oreo for

1114
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: you know. So you guys are laughing, okay. A confession

1115
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: of a time when you think you were a bad mom,

1116
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 1: or a funny mistake you did as a parent. A

1117
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 1: confession of a time when you think you are a

1118
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:45,840
Speaker 1: bad mom. What day of the week, honestly, it's like

1119
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 1: I try so hard not to ye like my that's

1120
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: just me in my in my house with my children,

1121
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 1: and I know what works for my for my children,

1122
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:59,440
Speaker 1: right is like at least my son who's four and half,

1123
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,480
Speaker 1: is that if he sees any inflection if I raised

1124
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 1: my voice, it's over like I just made it worse.

1125
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 1: Like if there's like I blew it up. Right. So

1126
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 1: I remember telling this to the girls a while ago,

1127
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: and he was it was he was probably like it

1128
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:17,240
Speaker 1: was probably a year ago, and it was when eight

1129
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 1: my daughters too now, but it was when she was

1130
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 1: a baby and I'm trying to get hurt a nap

1131
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 1: and he's like not napping, coming out of his room

1132
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 1: like and I literally ended up literally like jumping in

1133
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 1: his room like or like screaming, like jumping up. And

1134
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:39,000
Speaker 1: now I'm being like, you test me to go to bed?

1135
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:44,520
Speaker 1: I mean, is four jumping like a crazy person? Like

1136
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 1: that is not the mom I want to be. I

1137
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 1: do a lot of yoga. I do a lot of yoga.

1138
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: Yoga is a big part of my wife. Like Mike,

1139
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 1: you Janna said you do meditation or whatever like that.

1140
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to be that person and oh was

1141
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: I that person? And I felt so bad about it,

1142
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 1: But part of it was like that release, like you

1143
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 1: try so hard to be so good and then I'm

1144
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 1: a mom like jumping on the floor of my chuck

1145
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 1: my hands and you're like, any thank you, Rachel. That

1146
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 1: was perfect. Maybe he needed it, Maybe he needed that,

1147
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 1: like he needed to know that mommy needed a break.

1148
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 1: And you know, yeah, I can picture doing it. I

1149
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 1: do not make my child wash her hands every time

1150
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 1: she goes through the bathroom because she doesn't even touch anything. Confession.

1151
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 1: I mean same with us. I think for sure. We

1152
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 1: never Jually is like I'm going to the bathroom. We're like, okay,

1153
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 1: she comes out, Oh my god, I'm dying. You know,

1154
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 1: it's tough. It's tough. There's the soap shortest. We told

1155
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 1: our kids couch it's twenty So every time our son

1156
00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 1: is like one to three, I walk in, he's just

1157
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: standing there comfy. I'm like, you have to actually wash her,

1158
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 1: roll that in and then he's like, I'm doing such

1159
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 1: a good job. What do you have to scrub? You

1160
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 1: have to scrub. We have done a really bad job

1161
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 1: of brushing Jolie's teeth in the morning. Oh same, we don't.

1162
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:14,680
Speaker 1: We just gred to each other, were like, we need

1163
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 1: to start morning because we do really well at night,

1164
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 1: all night, all the time, but the morning. I mean,

1165
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 1: I don't know if I brush my teeth in the morning.

1166
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: So the best is when we're in bed at night

1167
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 1: and I get have to brush my teeth. And I'm

1168
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 1: so crazy about brushing teeth. I do it multiple times

1169
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 1: a day. Jane, I'll hear gen Si that means I

1170
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:39,520
Speaker 1: have to brush my teeth. Well, why we're growing adults.

1171
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:43,440
Speaker 1: Why are you sign about you don't want to brush

1172
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 1: my teeth with your parents? All right? I have one.

1173
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 1: This was just last week. Oh no, I told I

1174
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 1: think I told you about it. So um Julie. Julie

1175
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 1: was taking or Julie and I were taking a shower,

1176
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 1: which just another topic like what age do you stop

1177
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 1: taking a shower with your anyways? Well, well up, time out,

1178
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:05,920
Speaker 1: time out about showers, Jolie, Um, Jolie has called you

1179
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 1: all threeams. Michael was changing Jason's diaper and he's like,

1180
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: j C. Penis penus pani is really small and he goes,

1181
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: daddy perdus purus. I was like, and then Julie started

1182
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 1: doing it. Yeah, and then then then Julie starts walking

1183
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:26,800
Speaker 1: around going, daddy, Penis, I was a call. Wait, do

1184
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 1: get that call from pre school? Do you get that

1185
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 1: call from pre school? I guess I got two parent faws. Okay,

1186
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 1: So last week, so Janna is given Jason bath upstairs. Um,

1187
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 1: Julie likes to take a shower in our shower sometimes,

1188
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 1: so I'm like, all right, Daddy, take a shower with you.

1189
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 1: I gotta shower anyway. And she was just having a fit.

1190
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 1: She did not want to wash her hair. She'd not

1191
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 1: want to soaps. You don't want to listen. So Julie

1192
01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 1: has this thing right now where when she's upset with us,

1193
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 1: she goes like I want Nana, Papa, Machelle, every person

1194
01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 1: in her life, every other person in her life but us,

1195
01:01:57,760 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 1: And even she says, ain't my angel, which is our

1196
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:02,640
Speaker 1: friends who has a farm and a horse, and she

1197
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:04,720
Speaker 1: just took over a horse. She's like, I want my angel.

1198
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 1: So she's screaming this. So instead of the like Jolie like,

1199
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 1: just take a shower, I start mocking her and seeing

1200
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 1: it back to her, I'm like She's like, i I'm like, no,

1201
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 1: She's just screaming at the top of her lungs, just

1202
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: echoing in the shower, killing our ear drums, and I'm

1203
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,919
Speaker 1: just giving it right back to her. I mean it

1204
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,440
Speaker 1: was hilarious. But afterwards, I was like, man, I probably

1205
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 1: wasn't the right thing to do, but it was fun

1206
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,280
Speaker 1: join them. I was like, we're both about to have

1207
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 1: a fit right now, let's do this, guys. Well, this

1208
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 1: has been so much fun, and honestly, there's so much

1209
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:45,640
Speaker 1: more that I want to talk about from you know,

1210
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 1: how Jason is becoming a monster eighteen months and breaking

1211
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 1: my heart and like it's just a real sad day

1212
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 1: in the house. Um, can we part part two this later?

1213
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:57,600
Speaker 1: I would love to part two, that the part three

1214
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 1: and part for it. I really hope that you guys

1215
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 1: loved this. Oh wait, there was one last question. Did

1216
01:03:03,800 --> 01:03:06,640
Speaker 1: I just want to ask the person goes, what was

1217
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:12,280
Speaker 1: Janna like in high school? You would leave this to

1218
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:18,520
Speaker 1: the end? Okay? I just got arow whole newspaper, remember, yeah,

1219
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 1: we had the one page. It was like, remember remember

1220
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 1: when Janna cried because Anthew would always break my heart always?

1221
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 1: But then Jane's was remember when I cried and I

1222
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:36,840
Speaker 1: cried linked them. I was an emotional being. It was

1223
01:03:36,880 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 1: an emotional We've all evolved for the better. But no,

1224
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:47,640
Speaker 1: no I saying bad. I'm just saying, you know, we've

1225
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 1: kept some things, am I emotional? All Right? Well that

1226
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: was fun, Um, Rachel, Lisa, Chelsea, Andrea. I would love

1227
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 1: to do this again. Um, I hope you guys love

1228
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 1: this again. D M s at the wind Down Podcast

1229
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:07,400
Speaker 1: Instagram and um, this was a lot of fun. Seriously,

1230
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:09,880
Speaker 1: I've I've written down a few more things in my

1231
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 1: phone that I'd love to talk about, just about parenting

1232
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 1: in general. And yeah, I think this is great. I

1233
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 1: think the listeners will really enjoy this. Alright. Alright, um,

1234
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 1: stay tuned. Bye ladies, than you. Bye,