Speaker 1: It's this thing on Hi Andrew, Oh, hello, my darling, Scott.
Speaker 1: It's Serial Killers episode.
Speaker 2: Four, six hundred and twenty nine.
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't even actually check to see what
Speaker 1: it is. Was it thirty two thirty three? I thirty something?
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm just here to eat cereal and make comments
Speaker 2: about how old you are.
Speaker 1: That is so messed up. What does that have to
Speaker 1: do with anything?
Speaker 2: What else is my role on this podcast? Let's really
Speaker 2: boil this down.
Speaker 1: But I'm also not that old a whole.
Speaker 2: But you consistently make references to seventies and eighties show,
Speaker 2: isn't it like our shtick? Like you're like, hey, look
Speaker 2: at this commercial from the seventies, And then I go,
Speaker 2: I don't know the commercial from the seventies, and then
Speaker 2: you go, h you're so young.
Speaker 1: Well that's right, But I don't say I'm so old.
Speaker 1: I just say I remember this from the eighties.
Speaker 2: Listen, you are a young forty.
Speaker 1: See here's the thing. I have three different sacks of
Speaker 1: cereal today, so this could have gone anyway, and there
Speaker 1: was one that you really wanted, and now I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that one. Go okay, not fine, Sorry, Now we're
Speaker 1: just gonna do a different one.
Speaker 2: This is now cereal spie. Yes, you're gonna.
Speaker 1: Do something that you wanted, but instead today we're gonna
Speaker 1: do the very vanilla episode. Yeah, because you're so vanilla.
Speaker 1: I am yeah, I am no. Actually, they've been making
Speaker 1: fun of vanilla on the Big Show lately because it
Speaker 1: you know, Gandhi says it's not a flavor, but it is.
Speaker 1: Of course, it's a flavor.
Speaker 2: It annoys me when people say that it's not a
Speaker 2: flavor because like birthday cake, I get it's not a flavor, correct,
Speaker 2: But vanilla, it's a flavor. It's vanilla cake.
Speaker 1: That's right, because there's vanilla beans, it's a spice extract,
Speaker 1: and it's vanilla. So on this episode of Serial Killers,
Speaker 1: it's all vanilla all the time.
Speaker 2: And it's because I called Scottie old.
Speaker 1: That's right, because we were gonna do hmmm mmm. But sorry,
Speaker 1: you can't have that today. You're gonna have to wait
Speaker 1: until the next one. Sorry, can you hum it again?
Speaker 2: M Chocolate eggo sprinkles.
Speaker 1: That never existed, nor will it ever. Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go down into the cereal sack and pick out the
Speaker 1: first very vanilla.
Speaker 2: By I don't like Vanilla Cereal.
Speaker 1: Would you want something old or new? Classic or new?
Speaker 2: Let's go with something new.
Speaker 1: You want the new one?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, then I don't want to say the O
Speaker 2: word anymore around you.
Speaker 1: Uh huh. So I actually have four cereals. There's so
Speaker 1: many Vanilla Cereals who are doing four we're doing. We're
Speaker 1: gonna we'll bang them out. We'll blow through the real
Speaker 1: quick and we'll go from the newest to oldest. I guess. So,
Speaker 1: here's the newest one cool in the cereal sack.
Speaker 2: I don't think we did.
Speaker 1: We did the cousin of this one a couple of
Speaker 1: episodes ago. So I'm gonna give it a quick Scottie shake.
Speaker 1: And it's another Raisin brand crunch creation. This is vanilla Almond.
Speaker 2: Oh. I think I'm gonna like this a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So there's the sun It's made with real fruit
Speaker 1: and how many scoops Andrew? Two scoops of raisin?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I have? Head stuck in my
Speaker 2: head for a while now, Wax? Well, yes, I should
Speaker 2: be you know, cuteipving my ears better, But I'm also
Speaker 2: thinking about the my name's ice cream Jones. It's stuck
Speaker 2: in my head. Yeah, it was a great cereal. Yeah
Speaker 2: it's sad.
Speaker 1: I'm bringing the kids my ice cream cones. How broach
Speaker 1: your new cereal for breakfast with the great taste of
Speaker 1: ice cream cones. Whoa, that's when he almost fell off
Speaker 1: his bike.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Okay, that's not the one with the sexy
Speaker 2: marshmallow though.
Speaker 1: No, that's Rocky Road. That's Marsha and van and Choco.
Speaker 1: I think the guy's name was all Right, So here
Speaker 1: we go up.
Speaker 2: I'm excited for this one because this one vanilla, I
Speaker 2: feel will add to the taste.
Speaker 1: It smells like maple. Again though everything smells like maple.
Speaker 1: Why maybe you have an issue smell it? Have you
Speaker 1: thought about going to a doctor? I went to a
Speaker 1: doctor again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this smells a lot like maple.
Speaker 1: Right, you know what I think those are the clusters?
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, I forgot.
Speaker 1: To give your milk, get it back? Thanks. Hell So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go down to the fridge.
Speaker 2: And today seventeen percent milk from Fair Life, one percent
Speaker 2: low fat with calcium extra calcium.
Speaker 1: Is delicious because I'm thinking about my old bones, you know,
Speaker 1: so I don't want to like just collapse here on
Speaker 1: the floor.
Speaker 2: Listen. When I said old, I meant it in an
Speaker 2: in dering way. I don't think that you're actually old. Okay,
Speaker 2: that is mean to.
Speaker 1: Say, thanks buddy, fair Life milk.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, just ignore it.
Speaker 1: When you want milk, you want fair Life.
Speaker 2: No, this is not an ad. We still don't have
Speaker 2: a sponsorshopow.
Speaker 1: And it's lactose free too, so you're not gonna poop
Speaker 1: on the wall.
Speaker 2: Oh that's great, all right.
Speaker 1: So Kellogg's Raisin Brand Crunch Vanilla Almond it's new. It's
Speaker 1: the newest one in the Raisin Brand Crunch family. You're ready.
Speaker 2: I will say the raisins look nasty because they have
Speaker 2: vanilla things on them. All right, once you they go.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm pour bowls. That's pleasant. I like it, mm hmmmmm.
Speaker 2: They're delicious. I'm a fam I like the little granilla pieces. Yep,
Speaker 2: there's a great cereal pretty good. And the thing is
Speaker 2: I feel healthy eating it. I know it's probably not healthy,
Speaker 2: but I'm feeling like I am.
Speaker 1: I don't taste a fake vanilla flavor, you know, it's
Speaker 1: just a soft hint of real vanilla. Did you just spit?
Speaker 1: What's so funny?
Speaker 2: Your choice of words, Oh, Mike, A soft hint of vanilla.
Speaker 1: Raiss glazed with a touch of golden honey fiber like
Speaker 1: grand fiber. I can't even speak.
Speaker 2: I'm not pooping from the milk, but I am gonna
Speaker 2: poop from the fiber. Raisin bram.
Speaker 1: Fiber like grand fiber plays a very important part and
Speaker 1: your digestive health and overwhelmed and overall well being. That
Speaker 1: means poop.
Speaker 2: No, it's weird. What so, I know you hate them,
Speaker 2: but grape os, grape nuts, grape nuts, rapeos, I don't know.
Speaker 2: They taste a little bit like raisin bram. No, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: sod and just ignore what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Sugars podcast. So, sugar is the third ingredient we found one.
Speaker 2: We found many of them.
Speaker 1: I know, but this one actually has some taste, and
Speaker 1: sugar is not the second ingredient of first. I will also,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna give it four balls too,
Speaker 1: because I would eat this for breakfast. This is a
Speaker 1: pretty good cereal delicious. Thank you, mister Kellogg. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: come hang out at your sanitarium. That's how Kellogg started
Speaker 1: what J. W. Kellogg, whatever the hell his name was.
Speaker 1: He had a sanitarium like for people to lose weight
Speaker 1: and get healthy. And that's where all the cereals started
Speaker 1: back in the late eighteen hundreds. What yeah, and then
Speaker 1: Kellogg he had a brother too, and they fought with
Speaker 1: each other. You don't know anything about this what you
Speaker 1: know what? This episode's gonna run loong. So next time around,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a history lesson. Great, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna do a book report and it's gonna be fantastic
Speaker 1: about the Kellogg family.
Speaker 2: Great. Okay, So that's where a podcast is going. It's
Speaker 2: a history podcast with Cereal.
Speaker 1: It's a very educational podcast. I want children to listen
Speaker 1: and bring their smarts to school and listen.
Speaker 2: I think this is a great new direction.
Speaker 1: Okay, going down to the cereal sack for number two.
Speaker 1: I think this might be the next newest. I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is from two thousand and fifteen or sixteen or so. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's Vanilla Life.
Speaker 2: I'm so excited. Okay, Life, as you know, is one
Speaker 2: of my favorite.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm aware now this one shows peaches in it.
Speaker 1: If I've ever put fresh peaches in a cereal, but
Speaker 1: it could be delicious. There must be a flavor combination
Speaker 1: that Quaker knows about that I do not.
Speaker 2: Or Biff the interurn got into the box design. Again,
Speaker 2: this is true. I like peaches and milk. I thought
Speaker 2: it was cream. It's milk.
Speaker 1: Yes, they recommend that you eat heavy cream with this
Speaker 1: cereal and peaches.
Speaker 2: Yeah again, peaches and cream is a thing both sexually
Speaker 2: it is and in actual things sexually. The song by
Speaker 2: you don't remember.
Speaker 1: Peaches and cream? Yes, Prince, no what peaches? You know
Speaker 1: that I did it because I'm a feed getting freaky
Speaker 1: in it. You don't know peaches and cream? Is it
Speaker 1: is dirty? I don't know.
Speaker 2: You really don't remember that song Peaches and cream?
Speaker 1: Yes, it was like one twelve or something. Who says, yes.
Speaker 2: What I mean? Cream?
Speaker 1: You're you're so young? I mean I don't remember that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it must be because you're old. So anyway, why'd
Speaker 2: you spit in my cup?
Speaker 1: The next a very similar cereal would be Vanilla checks,
Speaker 1: which is far superior. I love Vanilla Chick.
Speaker 2: You also don't like Life by itself.
Speaker 1: It's okay because I like the little sugar granules in
Speaker 1: the middle.
Speaker 2: I love Life's new logo good job.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, this might be old it's probably been sitting
Speaker 1: in my cabinet for a while.
Speaker 2: Cool. All right, you just did this whole episode to
Speaker 2: sabotage being did I didn't even mean to call you old.
Speaker 2: I apologize.
Speaker 1: Now. This box is good till February twenty twenty, so
Speaker 1: it's not old. All right.
Speaker 2: Wow, did you get a paper cut? No?
Speaker 1: I knocked over the raisin bran. All right, So why
Speaker 1: did that hurt you? I have no idea. All right,
Speaker 1: So here you go our one percent fair life with
Speaker 1: your Vanilla Life.
Speaker 2: Let's do a practice ad for fair Life. The taste
Speaker 2: of my cereal tastes better with fair Life. Did that
Speaker 2: sound good? No, I'll try a different approach. Wow, the
Speaker 2: milk is really making the cereal look even tastier. Thanks,
Speaker 2: fair Life.
Speaker 1: Look, at the end of the day, milk is milk.
Speaker 1: But you know, if someone will pay us to drink it,
Speaker 1: we'll do it. All right. Hey, here we go Vanilla Life.
Speaker 2: Here that potential sponsors.
Speaker 1: Huh huh, there's not it's not vombit necessary. You're kidding.
Speaker 2: I don't like it.
Speaker 1: Why did you get a shard of something in your throat? No,
Speaker 1: what's the problem.
Speaker 2: It tastes like I'm just eating your butter like buttery.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Now that you said that
Speaker 1: it does taste like butter.
Speaker 2: And I hate it. I give this two bowls. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna the only reason why it's a bowl is because
Speaker 2: it is a Life cereal, and I feel bad for Jimmy,
Speaker 2: Timmy what was his name, Bobby?
Speaker 1: Right, So you don't like it, I don't like it, right, No,
Speaker 1: I don't shut up, child. Try it dry. It's a
Speaker 1: little different. It's a little different without the milk.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, I mean I don't like it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I'll give it two balls. It's not great again.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna go for the square multi grain cereal,
Speaker 1: go for checks, vanilla checks far superior.
Speaker 2: Did you bring vanilla checks?
Speaker 1: I didn't because it was the expensive and I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm not paying five ninety nine for box of checks.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say that I like it.
Speaker 2: Cool.
Speaker 1: Goole coo coo coo coo coogle. All right, you know what,
Speaker 1: Checks doesn't go on sale very frequently, so great. The
Speaker 1: peanut butter one that we did way back was like
Speaker 1: ninety nine cents, so woo. Yeah. I bought like ten
Speaker 1: of those boxes.
Speaker 2: So all of a sudden, vanilla checks is just gonna
Speaker 2: come out of nowhere one day.
Speaker 1: And it might be like great, Yeah, when it's all right,
Speaker 1: back down to the cereal sack, just what it'll be better?
Speaker 2: I hope raising brand crunch is the highlight of this episode.
Speaker 1: This is post honey Bunches of Oats with vanilla bunches.
Speaker 2: Oh, I like this. Now.
Speaker 1: That's been kind of been around for maybe ten years
Speaker 1: or so. It started off with some other name and
Speaker 1: then it morphed into this honey you just don't forget
Speaker 1: honey bunches of oats.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Was also the like cereal that the chicken and waffles
Speaker 1: and the maple baked donut, well you remember that. No,
Speaker 1: but those are gone, thankfully.
Speaker 2: No, that was so bad.
Speaker 1: I don't smell any vanilla.
Speaker 2: I'm happy that I don't smell the vanilla because it
Speaker 2: seems like I don't maybe like the actual vanilla taste.
Speaker 1: By the way, you know, mister Post and mister Kellogg
Speaker 1: were around at the same time, and they they had
Speaker 1: big cereal fights back in the eighteen hundreds.
Speaker 2: See when you say that, like, I'm either picturing a
Speaker 2: civil war type of fights where it's like muskets or
Speaker 2: I'm picturing like actual fights, like food fights, just with
Speaker 2: cereal being thrown.
Speaker 1: I just pictured them in those big long bathing suits
Speaker 1: that like go all the way down to their ankles,
Speaker 1: and the and the bathing cap. I don't know why the.
Speaker 2: Big mustache is in like a top hat like you
Speaker 2: see here. This is my property. You can't have a
Speaker 2: cereal factory over hair.
Speaker 1: That's pretty much how it was.
Speaker 2: Great.
Speaker 1: So post honey bunches of oats with vanilla bunches. It's
Speaker 1: cereal number three and are where very vanilla right here?
Speaker 2: Oh? I almost had the life again.
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go, tyog dog food. It's not good
Speaker 1: at all. Where's the vanilla? Where's the bunches?
Speaker 2: I will say? The only highlight to it.
Speaker 1: I don't like this at all.
Speaker 2: Okay, no, it's not a highlight anymore. They bam and
Speaker 2: boozled me because I was like, wow, this kind of
Speaker 2: tastes like a waffle comb. No, then you know what happened.
Speaker 2: It turned into marinara sauce on a pizza. And now
Speaker 2: I have to give this a ball and a spoon.
Speaker 1: Where do you get these weird analogies.
Speaker 2: From because when I eat things, I try and identify
Speaker 2: the flavors.
Speaker 1: Well again, third ingredient sugar which is not bad, but
Speaker 1: still whole grain wheat rice, and then sugar.
Speaker 2: But no, ma'am.
Speaker 1: It says ground vanilla beans. And I do see them,
Speaker 1: they're on those little rice chunks, but I don't taste them. Nope,
Speaker 1: there's no overwhelming vanilla taste in this cereal whatsoever. It
Speaker 1: says with yummy vanilla bunches, But I guess there's nothing
Speaker 1: yummy about this for me, so I'm giving it a bawl.
Speaker 2: Are you happy that inspiting me? You're now torturing yourself?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am. I'm sorry, Andrew, I love you, and
Speaker 1: I apologize because this is not very good.
Speaker 2: And I apologize to you. To Scott.
Speaker 1: Thanks, But so far, the raisin ray crunch has been delicious. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm into it.
Speaker 2: Maybe the highlight of an episode of Cereal Killers is
Speaker 2: raisin bran.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is this really a good episode?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, we're going to sandwich the episode.
Speaker 1: Now we started with the Kellogg's, We're gonna end with
Speaker 1: the Kelloggs. There's another vanilla, sir.
Speaker 2: You literally didn't have to like make it seem like
Speaker 2: I would know that, so.
Speaker 1: Bookend, should I say that?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, meaning like that they're both Kellogg's.
Speaker 1: Oh well, you don't know anything.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know Raisin brand was kel Shut the
Speaker 2: hell up? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Can you just get off this podcast? Go hire somebody else.
Speaker 1: I'm going to who I don't know? Well, then again,
Speaker 1: I'm the guy that knows things and you're the guy
Speaker 1: that just eats. So that's cool.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so my role in this podcast is to
Speaker 2: be a slob and eat food.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's got something on your chin, I do. Yeah.
Speaker 2: All right, back to the is it gone?
Speaker 1: For the final serial? Number four? In the Vanilla episode,
Speaker 1: is it gone? Yes, it's Kellogg's Special K vanilla and Almond.
Speaker 2: I love special Okay, vanilla and almond?
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I've had it before you,
Speaker 1: even though it was Kellogg's.
Speaker 2: Well, I've had special.
Speaker 1: What do you think that giant K is four? What
Speaker 1: do you think that is for?
Speaker 2: I gotta go.
Speaker 1: It's the Kelloggs. That's the Kellogg's K.
Speaker 2: Did you not know that?
Speaker 1: Did you not know that? Okay?
Speaker 2: This is embarrassing.
Speaker 1: You really need to go back to cereal school.
Speaker 2: There's no such thing.
Speaker 1: Yes there is.
Speaker 2: I teach a class at the university. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 2: forgot your doctor. B how's how's your thesis.
Speaker 1: Going, by the way, Oh it's done.
Speaker 2: You to present.
Speaker 1: Hm, this bag is a tough open. I don't want
Speaker 1: to rip it.
Speaker 2: Wait, damn it. Can I tell you a really embarrassing story.
Speaker 2: It's okay, the cereal still tastes great. Can I tell
Speaker 2: you a really embarrassing story that has nothing to do
Speaker 2: with cereal?
Speaker 1: But go ahead?
Speaker 2: As I was saying, go ahead, Andrew, so Elvis got
Speaker 2: a furbo. Right, what's a furbo?
Speaker 1: It's like the expensive car.
Speaker 2: No, can you imagine? So it was like a ferbo.
Speaker 1: It's okay, this just smells like cardboard. There's no smell whatsoever.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, it taste delicious. He got a Furbo during
Speaker 2: the holiday season. He's like, oh, you could take the furbo?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So I gave it to my friends and I'm like,
Speaker 2: just let you guys know. It's inscribed. It says Max
Speaker 2: on the inside. My sister just got a Ferbo the
Speaker 2: other day. It's the Max fill line. It wasn't actually
Speaker 2: personalized to Max like I thought it was.
Speaker 1: That's embarrassing.
Speaker 2: It's very embarrassing.
Speaker 1: But also, why are we telling dog stories on a
Speaker 1: Cereal podcast?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Why do we talk about your digestive
Speaker 2: issues all the time? Why do we talk about anything
Speaker 2: on this podcast outside of Cereal? Here you go, Andrew, Oh, okay,
Speaker 2: quickly avoid the topic of conversations.
Speaker 1: Your special k vanilla almond. But that is very funny.
Speaker 1: I have a pet cube and I believe it says
Speaker 1: the same thing, So I think I have Max's camera
Speaker 1: as well. You could have a back if you'd like.
Speaker 2: Here we go, poor ballmer Boom really m to me.
Speaker 2: It has hints of like drinking a cappuccino.
Speaker 1: It's like cranberry. I don't know what. I don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on.
Speaker 2: It takes like cranberry to you.
Speaker 1: I don't like it.
Speaker 2: Are you smelling burnt toast too?
Speaker 1: So far, the only thing I've liked is raisin bran crunch. Nothing.
Speaker 1: Nothing's really like overwhelmed me with vanilla, and I'm happy
Speaker 1: about that. No, I want vanilla. I want hardcore vanilla.
Speaker 1: Hold on a second, I'm gonna read back and head
Speaker 1: on back here to the Vault. The Vault a Cereal
Speaker 1: Vault A Cereal vault, and I'm just going to grab
Speaker 1: the drumstick Cereal that we had quite a number of
Speaker 1: episodes back. I'm gonna take one of these vanilla pieces. No,
Speaker 1: no Cereal tastes like vanilla.
Speaker 2: I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1: There's nothing very vanilla about this very vanilla episode except
Speaker 1: you and you. Yeah, that's true. All right? Did I
Speaker 1: rate it?
Speaker 2: No? I didn't rate it.
Speaker 1: I give it a ball.
Speaker 2: I don't like it. Can you give me the box
Speaker 2: a special K really quick? I just want to read
Speaker 2: the back.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna throw it at me? No?
Speaker 2: I gotta hurt.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you just did that. Another's k is
Speaker 1: all over the floor. Oh man, my arm really hurts,
Speaker 1: and you just made it worse. How sorry? I hate
Speaker 1: you so much.
Speaker 2: You're the one who started this episode off by being
Speaker 2: a sour sally.
Speaker 1: Alright, well, I tell you what we're gonna go now.
Speaker 1: Please follow us on Twitter at Serial Killer's PC. That's
Speaker 1: Cereal with the C. I'm at Zi Scotti B and
Speaker 1: he's at Andrew Pug And I'm just gonna just follow
Speaker 1: us and like us and subscribe and do all those things.
Speaker 2: Oh God's mad. I'm gonna get beat down after this episode.
Speaker 1: There's no beating. But what's gonna happen is we're gonna
Speaker 1: end this episode right now, and we're gonna go on
Speaker 1: ahead and record the next one. And it's gonna be
Speaker 1: with what you like, okay, because I just want you
Speaker 1: to be happy and not throw things at me.
Speaker 2: You're making it seem like I am a monster right now.
Speaker 1: You are. Wow, I'm hurt. You're hurt physically and emotionally.
Speaker 2: Okay, show me your physical injuries.
Speaker 1: Well it's internal, okay, so it's an internal I have
Speaker 1: internal bleeding. Now for oh, you have internal bleeding. I
Speaker 1: smell a lawsuit.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna suit I okay. Fine. When we're in
Speaker 2: the news, serial podcasters sue each other.
Speaker 1: All Right, we gotta go. We're gonna get to the
Speaker 1: next one now. And Andrew's gonna love it, and he's
Speaker 1: gonna have a big smile on his face.
Speaker 2: I always have a big smile on my face.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna break out the mm ready.
Speaker 2: Chocolate eggo, marshmallow, fun time, your cereal.
Speaker 1: Stupid Until we meet again, which will be in what
Speaker 1: did you just say just a few days say Crunch Andrew, Crunch,
Speaker 1: cruy lunch, crunch. We can't end it until you say crunch.
Speaker 1: Just say it, Crunch, your bastard,