WEBVTT - Ready to Rumble with Susie Essman 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.680 Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi. What's going on? Chelsea? Catherine? Chelsea Here, 0:00:05.280 --> 0:00:07.760 Catherine here, Hi, It's nice to meet you. 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:10.640 Well, hello and goodbye because you're off to Spain. 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:17.239 Hey, estado, precticondo mi espanol, toto por semana. I am 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:19.320 in the thick of it. We be in Chelsea. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.400 You have been preparing for this for some time. 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:23.160 A few months. 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:25.480 I feel like I feel like I've been pregnant or 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:29.360 something something like that. Drastic has happened to me. I'm 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:31.920 carrying a lot of weight on my shoulders and I'd 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.159 like to drop it. So that's what I'm going to do. 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:37.599 But I'm having a very Some of my niece and 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:41.400 nephews have arrived and we've already had some really good laughs. 0:00:41.520 --> 0:00:44.320 So we're off to a good start. And my brother 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:47.320 is really a lot more fun without his wife. So 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:49.360 I'd like to make sure I put that out there 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:50.000 on record. 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:50.760 I'll bet. 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:50.960 So. 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:53.440 Have you been up the mountain yet on your e bike? 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:55.959 You know, I have sister, you know what. That's how 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.040 I test for COVID. I take a really long bike 0:00:58.120 --> 0:00:59.560 ride and then if I feel better, it will feel 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:01.080 good after I'm like, all right, I must be I 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:01.720 must not be. 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:04.160 Set exactly a long bike ride and then you come 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:05.800 back and have a little apparel. 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:07.640 Spring surprise, surprise. We ran out of beer on the 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:11.319 very first day with my nephews, so they're clearly going 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.120 to cost me about ten thousand dollars just with alcohol. 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:16.840 I'd rather give that to some charity, you know what 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:17.200 I mean? 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.120 Well, and how long is your drug stash going to 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:21.200 last this time? I mean you got to corrupt your 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:22.440 nieces and nephews somehow. 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:24.640 Oh, I have a supply for a long time, and 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:26.399 I have a drug dealer in Spain, so it's not 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:28.720 a problem. And now my Spanish is so good, I 0:01:28.720 --> 0:01:30.119 can just get um if I need them. 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:33.480 Ooh, that's drug us, Master Goss, Is that what it is? Well, 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:36.000 let's talk about our very exciting guests we have today. 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:38.039 Well always, it's always an exciting guest, and we always 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:40.120 say that because it is exciting, because otherwise they wouldn't 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:40.360 be here. 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:42.440 We wouldn't be talking to people that didn't excite us. 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:46.120 Our guest today stars as the inimitable Susie Green on 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:50.840 Curb Your Enthusiasm. Please welcome actress and comedians Susie es 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:53.880 Men I'm sitting with Susie s Men, this is a 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:55.680 late stage marriage. 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:56.920 That you You got married when you were fifty three 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.720 years old. Yeah, I met him at forty eight. Forty eight, OK, 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.760 I just want to follow this trajectory. Here's what I'll say. Now, 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.480 I don't know you well at all, barely, but I 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:10.040 just know from what I've read, you've choose people that 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:12.880 I would never go out with, like at work, executives, 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:19.720 comedian rapper. Here's my theory. There's it's not my theory. 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:21.880 It's like a known thing. There's the gardener, and there's 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:25.040 the flower. You're a flower. You need a fucking gardener. 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:28.080 I do need a gardener. Yeah. And these high powered 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.320 guys they want to be flowered all the time. Like 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:32.079 most men, they want to deflower. 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:34.000 They want to deflower, and then they want to be 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.800 the flower exactly. But some high powered men are very 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.160 good at gardening because that's why they're in the position 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:41.120 in the first place. Like if they're an executive, they're 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:43.400 used to dealing with talent and they know how to 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:46.119 deal with like personalities a large person. 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:46.919 There's still an ego. 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:51.080 Absolutely, Absolutely every person I've dated was a mistake. 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:53.720 Yeah, so now we have to find you like a guy. Guy. 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:55.679 Okay, I want to know about your guy. I want 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:57.360 to know you met him when you're forty eight. 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:01.280 Break it down. What happens? Okay, he was the brother 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:05.239 of We're good. It was a mosquito? Was it really 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:09.880 a mosquito? Because they love me? Man, they just eat? 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:12.320 What do you think this is on my forehead? Susie's 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:15.480 looking at a boulder. But I've noticed though, there used 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:17.760 to be no mosquitoes in La and now this mosquito. 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:21.480 That's right, they're all be warming. I met him his 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:24.160 gay brother was one of my best friends, so we 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.000 had references. You need references. I don't sleep with his 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:30.000 gay brother ever. No, No, I'm not attracted to gay men. 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:32.720 I like a man who, like you know, wants to 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.040 be with women's Yeah, you know, you can always tell 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:37.480 when a man is not into a woman's body. I know, 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:39.440 I know it's really disappointing. 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:41.240 And I can also tell when you know how men 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:43.000 are supposed to be like butt men or boob men. 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:45.119 I'm boobs. I don't have a butt. 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.200 So when a man is a buttman with me, I'm 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.200 very confused because I think i'm like giving them this 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:50.000 great present, Like. 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:52.240 Yeah, well you are looking at the gorge and they're. 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:55.160 Real, they're natural, they're up, they're ready to rumble. But 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:59.160 what's more interesting is that you are now a stepmother. Yeah, 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.920 I raised the kids for how long did you raise 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:02.520 those Well. 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:03.760 I mean they were like when I met them, they 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:07.680 were ten, twelve, fourteen, fifteen. You know, now they're adults. 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.960 Now they're thirty thirty three, thirty five, thirty six like that. 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.000 Now you know I had them for all those good 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:16.920 teen years. Oh yeah, I never wanted kids. I don't. 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:19.159 I don't agree with it. I never wanted kids, and 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:22.800 I never you know, I mean I was the thing 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:26.080 about a relationship when you're a comedian, is I think 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:30.200 that men are intimidated by funny women. Yes, so you 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:32.919 need a really secure guy, right, and you need a 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:36.000 guy like my husband. He just loves all the attention 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:40.159 I get, like annoyingly so that he like brags about 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:43.360 me too much. Well, that's adorable. It's very cute. He's 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:46.040 very he's also cute. I'm also you know, I'm only 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:47.400 attracted to good looking guys. 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:50.000 I know, I know I have I have a history 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:52.760 of Yeah, my history is all over the shop. But 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:54.559 I think that's also a good thing because I'm pretty 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:56.560 open minded, like I'll try anything for a. 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:58.960 Little bit and then I'm like, oh no. But but also, Chelsea, 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:01.480 the paper thing, Fuck the paper? What paper? 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:01.800 You know? 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:03.880 What are they good on paper? That bullshit? 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:05.640 Oh no, I don't have attention to it. Yeah, I 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.880 have paying attention to my feelings, my instinct. You have 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.080 to be attracted in the beginning, well, you have to. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.719 You can build attraction to someone. I wasn't attracted to 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:15.280 my last long term boyfriend in the beginning and over 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.479 time when you became friends and it just like hit 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.840 me one day, and that has something that was something 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:21.800 that never happened to me. Because I believe that too, 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:24.840 that you had to be instantly attacked, and I feel 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:26.840 like that can develop when you have a very close 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:30.800 friendship with someone, although I prefer to be instantly Yeah. 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:32.919 Well, but there's got to be attraction when you sleep 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.440 with them, Well, when you have sex with them, yes. 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:37.000 But if you're hanging out with someone as a friend, 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:40.520 it can develop into romantic feelings without having had slept together. 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:42.320 That's probably true. It's never happened. 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:44.640 It never happened to you. Yeah, so when you met 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:46.880 your husband, you knew he had kids. Your your friends, 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.080 I believe, were a little hesitant to even introduce. 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:52.480 His brother was hesitant. But his brother's now husband and 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:55.960 boyfriend was a casting director, and he said, you're gonna 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:57.600 like this guy. And I thought, well, he's in casting, 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:00.719 he knows how to do that, right, that's a good point. 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:02.599 So I listened to him and I made sure to 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:04.080 meet him, and then I thought he was so cute. 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:05.320 And then I thought I was just gonna have a 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:07.640 fling with him because he had four kids and he 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:09.640 lived up state, and it was like, you know, he 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.240 was totally horrible on paper. But I used to have 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:13.400 a bit in my act but I would say, but 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:16.000 you know, you can't fuck paper, so you know. But 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:17.400 so I just thought I was going to have a 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:19.760 fling with him. And then I don't know what happened. 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:21.679 I guess I was time. It was I was ready 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:26.280 for something different. So I raised kids. I know, that's amazing. 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:29.279 I know, teenage where they girls and boys men three 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:31.599 girls that have boren But like now, I really like 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:33.240 having an adult relationship with them. 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.400 But the teenage thing. And then we had a house 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:37.480 in the suburbs, and I don't know who I was, 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:39.600 but then I was. I was still back and forth 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.000 to LA and doing curb and doing stand up, and 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:44.360 they gave me all new material that. 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:47.720 Was the beautiors of course. Yeah, kids are really they 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.040 give you a lot, they do. I mean, they take 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:53.400 a lot of energy and stamina, you know, when you're 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:55.160 on the road, like I have a lot of friends 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.200 kids that I hang out with, my ex boyfriend's kids 0:06:57.200 --> 0:07:00.480 I'm very close with. Yeah, and when I have them 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:04.120 with me traveling, you are forced to do way more 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:04.760 than you would do. 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.120 On your own life, and pay more attention and get 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:09.039 up out of bed. But I see never sitting on 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:13.000 toddlers and little kids. No, Oh, that's just diper No, No, 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.720 why did you never want to have kids? I have 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:16.880 never had the inclination. 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:19.840 I just too, I love my life, and I just 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.120 always saw myself as like this woman who was never 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:23.920 going to be. 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:26.040 Tethered to a man or to a child. 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.880 Probably just a direct reaction to my own childhood because 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.680 there were so many kids in our family, six and 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:34.840 I was like, either I'm going to do that or 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:35.880 I'm going to do the opposite. 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:37.960 Did you have good parents? Well, I mean. 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.520 They meant well, you know, they weren't terrible, but they 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:41.400 weren't ideal. 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:45.400 Yeah, well ideal, what's ideal? Exactly? There was a lot 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:45.760 of love. 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:48.840 My dad was Jewish, my mom was Mormon, so there 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:51.000 was a lot of nonsense. But we had a pretty 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.240 happy childhood. There was a lot of happiness, a lot 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.800 of love in our family were very close. Speaking of families, though, 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:59.360 I have to ask you about Bruce Springsteen and your 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:02.200 scenes with him, because that was so fucking funny with 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:03.400 Bruce on Curb. 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:07.320 You know, he was amazing. He is he was amazing. 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:11.000 I mean, okay, he does write all his own Bruce 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.040 Springsteam we're talking about. Yeah, he does write all his 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:15.120 own songs, and he did do a one man show 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:18.320 on Broadway. But he's never been in any kind of 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:21.320 TV or film ever. He told me he's never done 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:24.720 something like this before. And he was incredibly relaxing, you know, 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:28.200 as you know, we're all improvisedes. No, he couldn't learn dialogue. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:30.520 He just had to sit there and he just picked 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:33.640 it up so quickly, and it was you know, you 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.199 just never know how somebody It was not a comic 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:38.400 is going to improve, it's going to improvise. And he 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.679 was great. And you know he said to me before 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:43.560 I before I left, he said to me, can I 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:45.959 take a selfie with you? I was like, no, I 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:49.680 don't take selfie. He was so humble. 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:52.400 I know he's so I mean, have you seen him 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:56.320 per formats? And of course he's so fucking awesome to watch. 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.440 I saw him before for the first time last summer, 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:01.440 this past summer in and then again in Hyde Park 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:04.000 like in two weeks apart, and I will Hide Park 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.120 in London, Yes, and I will forever be a Bruce 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:10.040 Springstein family. That guy fucking plays for three hours and 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:13.560 sometimes four hours. He's seven and four youngster. I know 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:16.800 people talking about that who went to the Stones last weekend. 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:19.400 They were saying they were like, you know they what 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:22.080 are they in the nineties now, No, the eighties, but 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:25.280 they said they were like, you know, on stage forever 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:28.520 and just energy and I can't do that. Well, what 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:28.959 is Mick? 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:32.360 Mick Jagger is like a live carcass dancing around on 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:34.720 the stage. I mean, have you ever seen a body 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:36.920 that looks that frail, that is able to move in 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:40.360 such with such volocity, sterity. 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.960 No, I haven't, and not to mention the abuse of 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.760 all those years of abuse. I know they say they 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:47.280 get dryed. 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:49.160 I've heard multiple times that they get some sort of 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.600 blood transfusion, going, oh yeah, all the meds are like, 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:53.400 the medics are there. 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.480 This is when the Eagles play too. There's always like 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:58.400 they're realer doctors just in case something, you know, they 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:00.160 get like they pass out or whatever. 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.920 But stand ups should happen, no kidding, I mean we 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:04.440 need something because we're traveling. 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:06.840 Just what's the longest show you've ever done? Probably like 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:09.960 an hour and forty minutes. That's long, but that's the longest. 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:14.040 That's long. The difference is you're up there all by yourself. 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:17.760 I mean, they got musicians, and you know, it's very 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:20.200 different being a musician than a comic. But I also, 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:23.880 we're not dancing. We're not singing, and we're not Some 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.360 comics are dancing, well, I wish I. 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.840 Wish they would stop as well, but dancing singing like, 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:33.480 it's definitely easier to do stand up. 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.720 You're just I don't think so, Chelsea, Really, I don't 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.360 think so. I think you're yees yes, physically you're up 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.480 there standing with the mic in your hand. You know, 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:44.960 I've never been one of these physical, you know, comics. 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:48.280 But I just think stand up is so much harder 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:50.439 than doing music because you got to get that laugh 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:53.640 and you're by yourself. When you go to like a 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:56.520 cafe or something, you see a combo, people are talking 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:58.760 and they're just singing. They're all playing. They don't care 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:01.240 if that was up on stage and they're all talking. 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.360 We can't handle that. No, No, you're absolutely right, and 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.120 you got to get that left what every fifteen twenty seconds? 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.080 I was. I was on stage the other night at 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.960 a show, and I remember thinking, I can't believe I'm 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.560 supposed to be I'm the only one here to entertain 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.960 this exactly, like it's completely on my shoulders. If this 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:21.400 doesn't go, well, I don't do it anymore. You don't know, 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:25.120 you don't do stand up anymore. I didn't know that. Yeah, Oh, 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.840 why are you over it? Yeah? Really, it just stopped. 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:30.760 You know a lot of things. I think that I 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:35.400 was too addicted to the killing, and I got stale, 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:37.960 and then I just wasn't that interested. It wasn't that 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:41.319 creatively interesting, And it's just you know, I suffer from 0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:43.560 stage fright, and it was just so hard and if it 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:47.840 wasn't creatively interesting. You know, my manager hates it because 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:49.199 he's like, you can make a lot of money now, 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:49.520 you know. 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:51.520 I once quit stand up and all they did, I 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:53.400 mean I took a break for like six years, and 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.160 all they did was my reps, like you need to 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:56.760 go back. 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:58.280 You're leaving money on the table. 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:00.400 It's so much money to leave on the table, exactly, 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:01.960 And I was like, I don't have anything to say. 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.280 I felt very sad. That's how I were saying right now. 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.360 Maybe it'll change, but that's how I feel right now. 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.200 I think creative stuff comes in bursts, you know. I 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:11.840 think we all have bursts of creativity when we feel 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.280 really like passionate about doing stuff, and then there's a retreat. 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:17.160 You know a lot of times I'm retreated right now. 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:20.560 I get it, and I feel I feel sad about 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:22.600 it a little bit because there is something so great 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:23.120 about it. 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:27.280 Well, you're providing joy, yeah, and the most nicest way 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.520 to describe it as you are providing a joy and 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:32.440 a reprieve for other people. And I feel like for 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:34.360 me when I went back to stand up, it was 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:37.760 because I felt like I was helping, you know what 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:38.120 I mean. 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.040 I used to think that, you know, all those nights 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:42.200 when you don't want to go on and I remember 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.320 standing backstage and I'm just like, all right, I'm gonna 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:46.920 go unclog some arteries now, you know. That would like 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.360 get me going. But the thought of having not done 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:51.320 it for like five six years, the thought of getting back, 0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:53.840 how did you get back? I did a book I 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.360 did I wrote like my last book, and I did 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.760 a speaking engagement tour, yeah, where I had different celebrities 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.880 and all author's interview me on stage. Yeah. And then 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:05.199 if you have a podium, it's a thing of yes yes. 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:09.760 And while I did that, I just collected the material 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:12.640 through the conversation for my stand up, you know what 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:12.920 I mean. 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:14.680 That's just smart, that's really smart. 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.720 It was actually really a good way for me to 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:19.800 get back in because I also was scared to get 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:20.480 back on stage. 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:22.200 Of course, if you haven't been on stage for rights, 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:25.360 I'll do the evening with thing where somebody's in I 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:27.440 like that. Yeah, of course, you know it takes it's 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:29.720 the onus is off you exactly. Yeah. 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:31.760 I want to go back to kurb because it's my 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.720 one of my favorite shows, and it's so fucking funny 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.520 and I love I remember auditioning for Larry once when 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:40.040 I was like twenty five, and I was so excited 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:41.520 because improv is all I want to do. 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.040 I love improv. I hate scripts. 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.320 I hate you know, it's so much easier just to 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.080 fucking like what you do on the show, which is 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:48.480 go off on whatever. 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:50.520 It is that you don't have to. You don't have 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:52.320 to lie in bed the night before and go over 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:54.240 your lines and be nervous that you're not going to 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.360 remember them, because I'm horrible about that. And it's not 0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:59.160 just that you don't have to learn a line, it's 0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:01.480 that you get to you get to be part of 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:04.280 the creative process. I mean, you get to write your 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:08.160 own material, right, which is what we do exactly. And 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:11.080 you've called Larry a genius. Yeah, you think he's a genius. 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.040 I do. I do because when I read, you know, 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:15.959 we have an outline, as you know, there's like a 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.720 very detailed outline. You know, every paragraph correlates to a scene, 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:22.000 and so you know what the scene is about. And 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:24.960 when I read the outlines, I can't figure out how 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.640 he did it. It's transcendent. And I have a comic 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.360 brain and I can't figure out how he did it. 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:34.280 And it's just he's a genius at story. He's a genius. 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:36.720 It's pretty interesting to talk to anytime I see him 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:40.360 in public. He's always just very interesting to listen to, 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:42.600 you know, to ask questions too well. 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:44.880 His brain works in a different way, and that's what 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.680 I think is genius. And you've been on the show 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:50.760 for twenty plus years? How many? Four years? Twenty four years? 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:51.520 Twelve seasons? 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:54.760 WHOA, yeah, and you were a day player when you started. 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.160 So when did you start? When did you get a contract? 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:58.000 Season eight? 0:14:58.680 --> 0:14:58.880 Oh? 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:02.520 Godb yeah? But you know what I was. I mean, 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:05.920 I was guest star. I was like day scale for 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:07.880 like the first three seats. I made no money on 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:10.680 that show for like the very beginning. But they made 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:12.520 up for it. It's fine. Oh they did it because 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.400 we can always sue them. No, no, no, it's fine. 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:18.080 They love to say they've been very good. HBO is 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:20.720 a great place. The HBO treats their talent really well. 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:25.120 And they've treated me in the in this last incarnation beautifully. 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:25.960 I have no complaints. 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:27.680 And so you guys just must sit on set and 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:28.840 laugh your fucking at you. 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:31.800 You show up on set and there's all the people 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:33.800 that I came up with and stand up, you know, 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.840 I mean Larry and John Hayman and Carol Leafer and 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:40.080 you know, everybody's on set. I've been working with these 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.880 people for twenty four years or whatever, and we just laugh. 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:46.560 And Larry loves to laugh, and he just you know, 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.520 whenever he gets yelled at, he just gets the giggles. 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.640 We just laugh all day. We laugh and we eat. 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.560 It's the greatest. And for me, I show up and 0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.120 I tell everybody to go fuck themselves, and then they 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:00.840 love me for it, and then they give me money 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:02.880 and I go home and you get to yell at, Yes, 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:05.200 you get to yell at Jeff Garlic. Yea yell at 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:07.720 It would be a pleasure for me as well. I'm 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:10.760 very invidious of your situation. Yeah, that's exactly the kind 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:13.320 of gig I would respect. You would love it. 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:18.080 No script, outline, improvise, yell at people and go home. 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:20.840 But also it's like more than just yelling at people. 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:24.160 There's there's story. You have to push forward. And what 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:27.200 Larry sets up with Jeff Schaeffer who's are the ep 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:29.760 who writes all the outlines with Larry and he directs 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.040 almost all the episodes. It's a true situation comedy in 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:36.320 the sense that they set up these situations that like 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.120 in the beginning of the season, I read the outlines 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.240 that I'm just like, I can't believe what they have 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:42.000 me doing this season. Oh I have I have to 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.800 have vaginal rejuvenation surgery this season. It's like the ship 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:48.560 that they get. They give me the funniest shit to do, 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:51.400 and I just it's like, I can't wait to get 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:55.320 to set and and act out these scenarios. You know. 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.680