Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. You may know
Speaker 1: us from posting funny videos with our boys and reading
Speaker 1: each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll
Speaker 1: make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one more
Speaker 1: important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created
Speaker 1: this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most
Speaker 1: taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about
Speaker 1: through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead adds
Speaker 1: is the term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,
Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about
Speaker 1: to take Phillow Talk to a whole new level. Dead
Speaker 1: ass starts right now. Yeah, what's up, y'all? Y'all look good,
Speaker 1: I can't see ship. I'm lying. Everybody come out on
Speaker 1: the stage. The first thing they said, Yeah, look good, Right,
Speaker 1: I can't see nothing. We outside though I haven't been
Speaker 1: on stage since two thousand and nineteen. I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I'm nervous. I just got done filming. Yes, who watch
Speaker 1: your sisters? Yeah? Yeah, y'all, my sisters PU your favorite character. Hey,
Speaker 1: so I know, I know, I know I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm know y'all want to know when's the team is
Speaker 1: coming out? Right? I can't tell y'all, but I will
Speaker 1: tell you all this. We just got done finished rapping
Speaker 1: season two. Yes, so we already filmed two seasons as
Speaker 1: a team of shout out Tyler Perry Studios BT for
Speaker 1: doing all that good stuff, but without any further ado. Hey, hey, hey, y'all,
Speaker 1: don't be capt calling my wife. I know that's why
Speaker 1: y'are here. She's a real star. She is a real star.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna need you to get on y'all feet
Speaker 1: because coming to the stage, the queen be wife of
Speaker 1: not one, not two, not three, but four whole boys,
Speaker 1: the baddest being all of Brooklyn can't care. Damn you
Speaker 1: know what was hand me crying back there? I'm not
Speaker 1: supposed to. I cried enough for the past week, y'all
Speaker 1: with this tooth when I tell y'all debilitating pain like
Speaker 1: I had four whole boys, as you know, two of
Speaker 1: them at home, no pain meds. But that too took
Speaker 1: me out. But I'm here. I'm here to see I
Speaker 1: eat you everyone, y'all. How you feeling about this pony tail?
Speaker 1: So Janelle my hair stylish shout out to Janelle. I
Speaker 1: was like, girl, what are we gonna do about this here?
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm thinking we're doing nice, slick ponytail. Let's
Speaker 1: go with this dress, you know, because I was thinking
Speaker 1: New York City cabaret, feel close to Broadway back home,
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, give me a braid,
Speaker 1: but make it long and dutty. So, Senior, this is
Speaker 1: the best part of the Brave right here. Why do
Speaker 1: you just added this to the Brave? God, I love you.
Speaker 1: Just a little razzle dazzle, you know, a little function.
Speaker 1: So as you all know who here listens to the
Speaker 1: to the podcast? Anybody here listen to the Boggle A
Speaker 1: So on the podcast, we have two different jobs. Okay,
Speaker 1: she does all the work. I don't prepare at all.
Speaker 1: I'll just be talking. She keeps me like on schedule.
Speaker 1: So what's next? I don't know. So we're back home, y'all,
Speaker 1: So everybody knows that we're down in Atlanta. Now anybody
Speaker 1: from Atlanta area? Okay, okay, how about Queens the Bronx
Speaker 1: oh le Brons head deep that's cut Harlem uh Staten Island.
Speaker 1: Who I guess I guess anybody from I guess Manhattan,
Speaker 1: New York City. Okay, at you Oh Jersey okay, Jersey, Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: anybody traveled from the New England area, like Connecticut or
Speaker 1: anything Connecticut. Okay, now time for the thoroughist borrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: boo your way. Yes. I love that. I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that, I love I love of being from Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: From being from Brooklyn, what are the things that you
Speaker 1: miss about Brooklyn now that we're down in Atlanta? Because
Speaker 1: I don't claim Atlanta, people be like, oh where you from?
Speaker 1: Even now, I'm still like, I'm from Brooklyn. I live
Speaker 1: in Atlanta. But um, I think the best way to
Speaker 1: put it is that I am now like, I guess,
Speaker 1: a Georgia peach, but I have an Apple Core. You know,
Speaker 1: My core is Apple Baby all day, every day Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: I'm a big it up wherever I go. So where
Speaker 1: do you miss the most? Bacon, egg and cheese? Bacon,
Speaker 1: egg and cheese. And I missed the fact that you
Speaker 1: can always find a Jamaican spot to get some curry
Speaker 1: ox tails extray it. They don't ever have gravy though Jamaicans,
Speaker 1: and they charge you two dollars, tell gravyes, after charge
Speaker 1: you candy dollars for a large and you get beer rice? Right,
Speaker 1: beer rice? Yeah, I would say that. Um. What do
Speaker 1: I miss the most out here? Our family, because you know,
Speaker 1: our families all still here. Um. But I like that
Speaker 1: we're in Atlanta now versus Callie because it gives us
Speaker 1: a little bit more accessibility. I kind of feel like
Speaker 1: we're at this midway point between getting took and then
Speaker 1: accessing accessing l a if we have to. So, I
Speaker 1: mean that's a good thing. I do miss my corner store, bodega,
Speaker 1: you know, hero things like that, Um, and just how
Speaker 1: convenient things are because in Georgia stick closed early and
Speaker 1: you can't find what you want when you needed wow early,
Speaker 1: wow early wild. So what's that what you want to
Speaker 1: talk about today? You know what I don't miss? What
Speaker 1: don't you miss? Alternate side of the street park Yo?
Speaker 1: Every morning my long ago got a circle and were
Speaker 1: the crowd heights. Yeah, so we had alternate side of
Speaker 1: the street parking Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Yo, and the
Speaker 1: streets still be. I don't miss that. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't miss that at all. That is a fact It's
Speaker 1: funny because when I come back now, I feel like
Speaker 1: Brooklyn is almost like unrecognizable. Yeah, gentrification is real. What
Speaker 1: was the first sign that you knew that things were
Speaker 1: taking the turn white? Were my white people? That any
Speaker 1: white people are here? Any white people so dead? Ass?
Speaker 1: Ain't where we go gentrification? No, I'm not gonna blame you.
Speaker 1: She pushing her stroller with her baby, or maybe it's
Speaker 1: the jamaking nanny pushing her stroller. Let me, let me,
Speaker 1: let me explain something to y'all. Thought. So white people
Speaker 1: claim to be afraid of black people until they got
Speaker 1: to move into black neighborhoods or everything. So where we
Speaker 1: moved to Crown Heights, I'll never forget it. Son. We
Speaker 1: came back from Detroit, which is also placed as got
Speaker 1: a lot of black people should be sucked up. So
Speaker 1: we moved back. I was playing ball. We was broke, right,
Speaker 1: we was broke. We moved back to an apartment. Conine
Speaker 1: is a house baby, so she grew up in a
Speaker 1: private house. Her parents coddled her. She never really got
Speaker 1: on the train. I'm just speaking fast. That's like I
Speaker 1: have no situational awareness or anything. I did. You did,
Speaker 1: you didn't do you want me to tell stories about that?
Speaker 1: We got a car broken into the first night we
Speaker 1: stayed in the Crown Heights. Why because Cadine left her
Speaker 1: product bag on the front seat. Why were they touching
Speaker 1: my ship? That's my face, it's my car, it was
Speaker 1: my bag. Why are you touching my ship? No? No,
Speaker 1: don't touch my ship. Listen. We moved back the first day.
Speaker 1: We've seen the yellow tape. When you see the yellow tape,
Speaker 1: you see the little orange beads on the floor. Was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what do you think happened? I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Just take your liss inside. That's what
Speaker 1: we moved back to. This was two thousand and nine,
Speaker 1: right New York Avenue between Deanenberg and y'all remember the
Speaker 1: apartment right, That's where we shot all the videos with
Speaker 1: the kids. That's where it all started. Y'all. I kid
Speaker 1: you not. I kid you. Not a bunch of dudes
Speaker 1: outside they're chilling doing what they do. Because this is
Speaker 1: the biggest thing about the Hood. People need to understand.
Speaker 1: The hood is safe. It's safe. People just don't like
Speaker 1: being disrespected. That's all it is. Think about it. When
Speaker 1: when I grew up, my dad right. Shout out to
Speaker 1: my pops, Troy Big mentoring Flatbush. We went to sell
Speaker 1: the Missionary Baptist Church. Shout out to my boy just
Speaker 1: we grew up together. That was an album, All Road
Speaker 1: Driveball Don't Stop at All, Arizona, Alabama. Yes, the songs
Speaker 1: about it. It was fucking dangerous to people on the outside, right,
Speaker 1: But all of the guys that people were afraid of.
Speaker 1: You could walk around there and it's just, hey, how
Speaker 1: you doing. What's up? Boss? Oh that's Troy Son. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. When you know your people in
Speaker 1: your neighborhood, they just want to be respected. And you know,
Speaker 1: me and k Wild walk around there. These white people
Speaker 1: were walking there, have they strollers and their dogs, and
Speaker 1: they'd be walking and I'm like, this ain't gonna go
Speaker 1: well because they don't know the protocol. There'd be a
Speaker 1: bunch of guys sitting on the car and they're like, hey, buddy,
Speaker 1: can you get off my hood. I'll be like, come here,
Speaker 1: let me talk to you real quick. Don't don't call
Speaker 1: nobody buddy. That's automatic disrespect, all right, call them chief,
Speaker 1: never call them bro. Okay, don't call him buddy. And
Speaker 1: he was like, this is my property. I can do
Speaker 1: what I want. Fine, go back over there. See see,
Speaker 1: But there wasn't scared. Now they outnumber us, and I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie to you. This is an up pear opinion.
Speaker 1: But I don't have a problem with gentrification. You want
Speaker 1: to know why, I'm gonna tell you why. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you why we as a people got smarter. Right.
Speaker 1: You know who will also getting involved with gentrification? Black people.
Speaker 1: I brought property, did anybody else? Not my property? We
Speaker 1: gotta evolve people. If there's one thing I'll tell you
Speaker 1: about about us as a people, I feel great about
Speaker 1: empowering the people that I grew up with. Right. I
Speaker 1: feel great about working with DJ right partnering. It's not
Speaker 1: my employee. Were partnered together genell power, empower justin empowered
Speaker 1: all the people that work with us, that all our partners.
Speaker 1: We don't employ each other, we partner together. If we
Speaker 1: as a community of people start to do that together,
Speaker 1: we can all come up. That's what I want you
Speaker 1: to think about. There's one thing I want you all
Speaker 1: to remember about Dead Ass Podcast. Yes, we like to
Speaker 1: make jokes, but this is a safe space to grow.
Speaker 1: This is a safe space to think outside of the
Speaker 1: box and say, wait, how can I be better today
Speaker 1: than I was yesterday? And if there's one thing I
Speaker 1: want you all to leave here with, it's that feeling
Speaker 1: of you know what, I want to be better tomorrow.
Speaker 1: So as we get on with the show, I want
Speaker 1: you to think about God, laugh, have a good time,
Speaker 1: drink and eat, but think and ask yourself how can
Speaker 1: I be better tomorrow? So, yes, you keep me on
Speaker 1: track because you know I'll talk all day. Hold that thought.
Speaker 1: We have so much more to say, but not before
Speaker 1: we get into these ads. Will be right back, y'all.
Speaker 1: So how many couples do we have in the house tonight?
Speaker 1: All right? See, I'll made this a cute little date
Speaker 1: night situation. Love that? How about my singles? So based
Speaker 1: on the tone of that that yell, it was what
Speaker 1: the singles ain't playing right now? Hold on, wait, but
Speaker 1: the tone of it. You're the single man, yo, You
Speaker 1: win it right now? Bro? You tried. That's my brother,
Speaker 1: my brother in law, Tristan Brow. Yes, so we have
Speaker 1: one single man in the house to night. You're the
Speaker 1: smartest You're the smartest guy in the world. Listen, if
Speaker 1: I was single I was I was single, I would
Speaker 1: go to places like Essence Best. I would go to
Speaker 1: places like dead Ass Podcast, Live Talk, because you know
Speaker 1: you're gonna see some beaut a full intelligent young women
Speaker 1: or old women, no disrespect people been looking for old
Speaker 1: has now been dubed like Auntie Fest? Is that the
Speaker 1: real that's the t now? Right? Well? I rebuked that
Speaker 1: because I like Essence Fest and I ain't nobody Auntie
Speaker 1: Like am I teetering on Auntie age? I'm nervous. Didn't
Speaker 1: come on sign? Come on sign? We we got four kids?
Speaker 1: So what that mean? Okay? This this is how I
Speaker 1: knew I was getting old, right this song I was
Speaker 1: getting old. I was reading the meme and they said
Speaker 1: thirty years ago, right, and automatically I'm thinking seventies, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And then it was like thirty
Speaker 1: years ago, like that was bro turn on Nights were
Speaker 1: in elementary school. I was the elementary school brod to
Speaker 1: turn on Niken Knight. And you see shows that you
Speaker 1: see when they first came out that day as the
Speaker 1: old school show. Now you're like, I'm oh, I will
Speaker 1: tapen though I'm not even gonna lie. I definitely so
Speaker 1: We're gonna have some fun with y'all tonight, right. You know,
Speaker 1: you love to listen to the podcast and you hear
Speaker 1: Divine Line do a lot of talking. But with the
Speaker 1: shows that are live, we haven't been live since two
Speaker 1: thousand actually, she was having twenty February. We had our
Speaker 1: last live show in Atlanta. So we'd like to be interacted.
Speaker 1: We'd like to get you actual seats. We'd like it
Speaker 1: to be a different experience than y'all listen to us
Speaker 1: talk whole night, because you can do that typically on
Speaker 1: the podcast. Who've been listening to the season of the podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: anybody have a favorite episode so far? Yesterday's what was
Speaker 1: yesterday's Now, I was in paint Chouse. I don't remember,
Speaker 1: oh wo. He was just talking about that Grannie's house.
Speaker 1: House in Grannie's House, that was talking about finances, making
Speaker 1: those decisions. For the embeddment for those of you who
Speaker 1: don't know what the episode was, it's pretty much based
Speaker 1: on the idea that we as a people don't understand
Speaker 1: our value and our property. So for example, you'll have
Speaker 1: a property that's been passed down from generation to generation
Speaker 1: to generation, and most people would be like this house
Speaker 1: don't got no mortgage. We're gonna live in it til
Speaker 1: we die and pass down to our kids. But you
Speaker 1: don't realize that that property is now an asset. So
Speaker 1: if you inherited this house and there's no mortgage, and
Speaker 1: now the houses in Crown Heights for example, and it's
Speaker 1: seven figures, if you sell that property and you use
Speaker 1: the capital from that property to buy multiple properties, now
Speaker 1: you can turn that one asset into multiple assets. And
Speaker 1: rather than thinking about the the mindset of I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna hold onto this for sentimental value, why not use
Speaker 1: that house and create generational wealth. So that's what the
Speaker 1: whole episode was about. Yeah, that was a good one.
Speaker 1: That was a good one. So lots of good things
Speaker 1: happening this season. Deval and I will let you guys
Speaker 1: in on a little secret. I guess we can tell
Speaker 1: them about what we have coming out February. So we've
Speaker 1: been working diligently on a book. Yes, so you guys
Speaker 1: hear it here. First, we are aiming for release maybe
Speaker 1: around Valentine's there, So yeah, so we're looking for Valentine's
Speaker 1: they release, and um, what would you say is the
Speaker 1: main overarching topic of the book, because we didn't want
Speaker 1: it to be UM too self healthy. We didn't want
Speaker 1: it to be a how to because you guys, know
Speaker 1: one will say it over and over again. Although we
Speaker 1: don't take it lightly that people look at us and
Speaker 1: feel like we're that hashtag relationship goals. We're just sharing
Speaker 1: our experience with you guys, so people can just take
Speaker 1: what they want from it. What you can relate to,
Speaker 1: you can which you can't, you can't UM, And we
Speaker 1: just want to share a little bit more about our story.
Speaker 1: So I know a lot of people feel like they
Speaker 1: know so much about Val and I and our story,
Speaker 1: but there's some stuff that we've never spoken about publicly
Speaker 1: that we are now putting into this book. So I'll say,
Speaker 1: it's a nice recap of a Brooklyn loved story and
Speaker 1: how we evolved over the years. And UM, it's going
Speaker 1: to take you from the very beginning up until about
Speaker 1: when we were married and had our first child. So
Speaker 1: we got to leave room for like a book number
Speaker 1: two or three or you know, so we're excited for
Speaker 1: that coming up in uh February. Yeah, yeah, So we
Speaker 1: want to get y'all up and out your seats, get
Speaker 1: y'all moving and shaking a little bit. Yes, when I
Speaker 1: spoke to Trible, Triple called me like two days ago.
Speaker 1: Our producer shout out to Triple, I had she I
Speaker 1: heard she had, y'all with the pre show talking and talking,
Speaker 1: you always hear about Triple on the podcast. You got
Speaker 1: to actually meet her in the flesh first. The first
Speaker 1: thing I said when I seen your shirt mad gay,
Speaker 1: She was like, say gay on it. So then the
Speaker 1: reason why I said that is because I want people
Speaker 1: to realize that that's podcast Live shows a safe space
Speaker 1: for everybody. We live in the town now where if
Speaker 1: you say the wrong thing or have an opinion, you
Speaker 1: get canceled or you get ridiculed. But we all have
Speaker 1: to start to challenge each other. Right if we all
Speaker 1: think the same way, how can we grow If we're
Speaker 1: all programmed to just believe in one thing, how can
Speaker 1: we have a different person spective and be a better person.
Speaker 1: So the reason why we like to do things this
Speaker 1: way is because we're not experts. I think that we
Speaker 1: can learn from a lot of the people that's out here.
Speaker 1: So we want to invite some of you guys up
Speaker 1: here play some games so we can learn some different perspectives.
Speaker 1: But what I ask is that when people give their
Speaker 1: comments or their answers, let's all shower them with love
Speaker 1: and respect, no judgment. No judgment is allowed at all.
Speaker 1: I don't care how crazy it sound, because sometimes we
Speaker 1: get some crazy answers. Have y'all listened to listening letters, Yes, sometimes,
Speaker 1: no matter what they say, please give them respect. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: So when I spoke to Triple, I said, she she
Speaker 1: called me and She's like, girl, I'm trying to do
Speaker 1: this little game situation. And we have not one single
Speaker 1: man that wrote in to be a part of the game,
Speaker 1: not one in New York. So we'll see what it's
Speaker 1: looking like in Philly and DC. But we figured returned
Speaker 1: New York into something couple style, all right, So to
Speaker 1: be prepared, let me pull out my cards now because
Speaker 1: I got some some information on here. So pretty much
Speaker 1: we have three couples that we've selected. I think you
Speaker 1: guys wrote in submissions to dead as podcast, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to start reading little blurbs about who the couple is,
Speaker 1: so once you hear it, you might know who you are.
Speaker 1: And I will introduce you, guys, and we will want
Speaker 1: you to make your way to the side of the
Speaker 1: stage over here and we'll bring you around back, all right, ready,
Speaker 1: ready to have some fun? Yeah, all right, y'all, here
Speaker 1: we go. Today is our fifth year wedding anniversary. We
Speaker 1: got married on eight eighteen seventeen. That year was a
Speaker 1: roller coaster to say the least. My father passed away
Speaker 1: just fifty eight days before the wedding. Oh wow. And
Speaker 1: my husband really stepped out of his comfort zone as
Speaker 1: a minister to make me smile on that day and
Speaker 1: decided to wrap his vows after we said the ones
Speaker 1: with the pastor and it went by ye roll. The
Speaker 1: things the man will do to make his woman smile
Speaker 1: are priceless. We've been through so much throughout marriage, having
Speaker 1: a stillborn, a baby with a heart defect, all while
Speaker 1: trying to remember why God brought us together in the
Speaker 1: first place the few first years. We're trying. But we're
Speaker 1: so happy today that we'll be eight making it to
Speaker 1: our fifth year, which I hear is an accomplishment in itself,
Speaker 1: sure as hell is. We are so blessed to be
Speaker 1: able to say that we are the one for one another.
Speaker 1: After all. Welcome to the stage, y'all, Keyana and Reggie,
Speaker 1: all right. Next. We met in January of nine, So
Speaker 1: that's about what thirty years ago on his first day
Speaker 1: of middle school in E s L class. We were
Speaker 1: both twelve years old and both from Haiti. Shout out
Speaker 1: to Haiti, all right. I came to the US a
Speaker 1: little earlier than him in August of and I was
Speaker 1: assigned to help him learn English as I was the
Speaker 1: only person that spoke real even though I was still
Speaker 1: learning the language myself. We basically taught each other how
Speaker 1: to speak English. We got to know each other and
Speaker 1: found out we were both born in November same year,
Speaker 1: two weeks apart, and a lot more shocking similarities. So
Speaker 1: we became really close as friends. Right. We were all
Speaker 1: so good friends from then and got involved with each
Speaker 1: other on and off, but never in a relationship due
Speaker 1: to him quote unquote wild in these streets. Those his word.
Speaker 1: He said, it was his words. He was wilding in
Speaker 1: these streets because he would he not want to relive
Speaker 1: those times. You go bring that, but we always said
Speaker 1: maybe later on in life, if time permits, or if
Speaker 1: the streets shut down. Right, covid the reason why he's married, y'all.
Speaker 1: He was at home like this, and we calmed down,
Speaker 1: and we're both still single, then we would date, and
Speaker 1: that's exactly what happened. Covid kidda. We're now thirty four
Speaker 1: years old, married for nine years. On August thirty one,
Speaker 1: seven year old baby girl come to the stage, Eddie
Speaker 1: and Marie. All Right, our love stories started shockingly through
Speaker 1: Twitter millennials, so Twitter's real space. I never believed I
Speaker 1: would meet my future wife on social media. But life
Speaker 1: is crazy. I always look when I get it from
Speaker 1: the meal perspective, I always said on the show. She
Speaker 1: followed me first on Twitter, and then I followed back,
Speaker 1: as we were both in the journalism industry. I'm a
Speaker 1: sports anchor and at the time, she had just started
Speaker 1: her first job as a TV news reporter. Yes, I
Speaker 1: saw her tweet about I saw her tweet about Last
Speaker 1: Chance You, one of my favorite series, and I said
Speaker 1: to myself, Oh, if she likes Last Chance You, then
Speaker 1: she must be dope. That led me to sliding in
Speaker 1: her d. M Oh, they definitely millennial, yo, but on
Speaker 1: some friend mentor type vibes right, let me help you,
Speaker 1: sis um. So we had so much in common just
Speaker 1: wrapping about our careers and families. I wasn't even checking
Speaker 1: for her like that. Lies. I can't wait to see
Speaker 1: this guy? What do you look like? Full story short?
Speaker 1: A few weeks ago, A few weeks go by. A
Speaker 1: few weeks go by, and we stay in contact and
Speaker 1: we're starting to we started talking more and more as friends.
Speaker 1: And then one night we spent more than six hours
Speaker 1: on the phone until six a m. Man. Yes, we
Speaker 1: got out that friends real quick ahead, and it was
Speaker 1: then we knew we were in love. You guys, the
Speaker 1: rest is history. Give it up, y'all for madisone and
Speaker 1: Christ bring Chris in the middle. The middle, Chris said,
Speaker 1: I want to be your friend. I wasn't interested at
Speaker 1: all coming that was the plan? No like adorable? How
Speaker 1: old y'all y'all live like us in college? Literally actually right.
Speaker 1: I never looked at her once and said I wanted
Speaker 1: to be a friend. Not one time in my life
Speaker 1: did I ever say I just want to be a friend.
Speaker 1: That wasn't take your line? You, what do you say
Speaker 1: ahead of the prospects, I won't even check it for
Speaker 1: her like that? What do you say that he was
Speaker 1: checking for me? You're checking for me on the FaceTime
Speaker 1: for six hours? Did your row? Now we get the truth?
Speaker 1: Now you get the bro, I ain't mad at you.
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at you at all. Nobody Now you're
Speaker 1: congratulation engatulations. That's the thing you learned, right, how the
Speaker 1: love story starts. Don't even matter it don't all stuff?
Speaker 1: You happy? That's it? You know you have got the key.
Speaker 1: Could be cousins though, huh, you're and Chris could definitely
Speaker 1: be cousin's. Get out of the friend zone. That's the key, gentlemen.
Speaker 1: If well, there's no single gentleman, Christan, did you learn
Speaker 1: anything today? Be better tomorrow today stay out of the
Speaker 1: friend zone, my brother. All right, So here's how we're
Speaker 1: gonna work it. Maybe we'll tell Josh how he wants
Speaker 1: us to stand. But each couple, we'll be sitting back
Speaker 1: to back with a marker and a note pad. Deval
Speaker 1: and Cadeen, that's us triple definitely give it up for trible. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: as a step on my pony too. Devalcanti will ask
Speaker 1: the women and the men questions respectively, allowing them to
Speaker 1: answer for what their spouse would say. Each player will
Speaker 1: write down their answer without consulting with their spouse or
Speaker 1: fiancee in this case, to see who knows their partner best.
Speaker 1: Each player will have fifteen seconds to answer. A timer
Speaker 1: will go off when their time is up. W's where's
Speaker 1: my paper? That's adorable. I feel like it's a photo moment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. Do you want to ask some questions? Well,
Speaker 1: you gotta ask the gentleman, and I'm going to ask
Speaker 1: the women. Okay, sounds good, sounds like a plan. I
Speaker 1: was gonna want to ask the sex questions took ahead?
Speaker 1: How we already know where he'd be at with you
Speaker 1: make it seem like, well, I think about his sex.
Speaker 1: I think about money too than one dimension. All right,
Speaker 1: you want to ask your question first? All right, here's
Speaker 1: the first question. You have ten seconds to give an answer.
Speaker 1: All right. If the answers match, the team gets a point.
Speaker 1: The team with the most point questions score, the team score. Sorry, alright.
Speaker 1: One thing you also learned about marriage? Your wife gonna
Speaker 1: give a shit if you're talking, She's just gonna talk
Speaker 1: over you. That was gonna portant part. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to miss it. How thank you sis. Look my friend
Speaker 1: over and talking to that goddamn trying to help you out.
Speaker 1: So look, let me show you have something on right.
Speaker 1: You know why they think about that who's keeping score? Why?
Speaker 1: Because the team with the most points don't win nothing.
Speaker 1: Y'all worried about the thing. He's know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: all right, it's bragging rights for me, all right. Pressure
Speaker 1: question number one? How many times a week would your
Speaker 1: partners say you have sex? You better write that number bigger.
Speaker 1: You're writing that number mask, You better write that number bigger.
Speaker 1: We're you gonna start with the couple number one. I
Speaker 1: ain't trying to sleep on the couch. You ain't trying speaking,
Speaker 1: all right, tread lightly number one, Turn around and show
Speaker 1: the audience your answer. Now the times. Hey, you're a
Speaker 1: smart man because you're trying to get something tonight, he
Speaker 1: says every day, Josh, I can't stand up here, Josh.
Speaker 1: Couple number two, number two, we got Eddie and Marie
Speaker 1: two times a week. Let me explain something to y'all.
Speaker 1: They learned how to speak English together. They two weeks apart.
Speaker 1: He is, motherfucker's know how many times they having sex?
Speaker 1: It's like telepathy. You look at her and now whispering
Speaker 1: and creole over here. Neither I'm listening for cheating, okay.
Speaker 1: Couple number three zero, he's still the friends on guys,
Speaker 1: he was lying, he was lies. Or maybe her parents
Speaker 1: might be watching, like your parents are here and she's
Speaker 1: waiting for marriage. How about that? You know what, Maybe
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Alright, I'm getting points. You can
Speaker 1: rip that off, all right, Go ahead and rip that
Speaker 1: page off from you, or just put it behind you.
Speaker 1: There you go, So couple number one, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: raise the stinks everybody up here. A drink, drink, drink, drink.
Speaker 1: You only have one drink. Whoever wins drinks on me
Speaker 1: for the rest of the night. Okay, that's fair, that's fair.
Speaker 1: We went from nothing to drinks. That works, all right.
Speaker 1: You want me to ask a question from here? That's
Speaker 1: a question, all right, we'll change it up. A bab
Speaker 1: will change the speed. If you were riding in a
Speaker 1: car with your spouse and their mother, who would your
Speaker 1: spouse want to sit in the front? And I guess
Speaker 1: this is a question for the guys, right, isn't your
Speaker 1: wife or your mom for the guys? Or your mom?
Speaker 1: Is your wife or your mom sitting in the front?
Speaker 1: Couple number one, turn your answer around and three two one?
Speaker 1: Mother sick in her feet like she has a lot
Speaker 1: of things okay, let me, let me, let me just
Speaker 1: because I hear the cloud, shut it off. This is
Speaker 1: the point of the game. If both of them agree,
Speaker 1: it don't matter what y'all think. That's a relationship in
Speaker 1: marriage for you as long as they agree. Who are
Speaker 1: we right, oh, wife and my brother. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you a funny story. Let me tell you all the
Speaker 1: funny story about my mom. All right, my mom, you
Speaker 1: should sit in the front of my car. Because both
Speaker 1: my mom and my wife are very similar. They both
Speaker 1: like to be of service. They don't want to be
Speaker 1: any problems. When Cadine became my fiance, I kid you not.
Speaker 1: My mom went to the back and said to me,
Speaker 1: you always put your wife in the front, and my lion, sure,
Speaker 1: I did one thing to that also, will never let
Speaker 1: me do as per His mom is walking on the
Speaker 1: outside of the decided by the street. So yes, couple three. Okay,
Speaker 1: you said wife before mom? Yeah, so his wife. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a very complicated I'm starting to like the Strada defense. No,
Speaker 1: you get a point, you get a point, Yes, good job,
Speaker 1: good job. Won't point here at one point. At one
Speaker 1: point from Madison and christ All right, go ahead, baby,
Speaker 1: all right? If your spouse had to give you a
Speaker 1: report card? What sex position? Would she give you? An
Speaker 1: A plus four? We're talking about the tricks, all right.
Speaker 1: I'm interested to see what Madison gonna say. See she
Speaker 1: have sex zero times a week, so I'm interested to
Speaker 1: see what they asked. Are gonna be over there, says
Speaker 1: mother Mary over here. Okay, I smell cap now, I
Speaker 1: smell somebody capping over there, because I see her face.
Speaker 1: When I asked the question, she was like, whoa, all right?
Speaker 1: Got you Keana and Reggie? What we got? Number one? Oh?
Speaker 1: Don't you stass? He put two questions, though he put
Speaker 1: two answers, Babe giving head and back shots. Kay, look
Speaker 1: who we go? We wo Yeah, we'll take that. Give
Speaker 1: him two points couple number two bagshots. But her laying flat,
Speaker 1: it's like they down. That's that's the one. Is that
Speaker 1: the one that's gotta be flat. She gotta be flat down.
Speaker 1: She gotta be flat down. But with the ass respects?
Speaker 1: Got you? Okay, well two respects. That's because that's your wife.
Speaker 1: But I get it. I understand you engage. We've been
Speaker 1: there as well. We've been there. Sure give him two
Speaker 1: points two over here with the friend zone zero over here?
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, Madison, what you say? Ready? Turn?
Speaker 1: Madison said, this is hypothetical. Guys, she's gonna lie and
Speaker 1: talking about a hypothetical hypothetical doggie style. It's your mom
Speaker 1: here too? Where is her mom? She's definitely here? All right,
Speaker 1: So everyone gets a point. Everyone gets a point. Very nice, nasty,
Speaker 1: nobody said, missionary? Al right? Next question, Next question, where
Speaker 1: twist the lizard luck? Who remembers that video the wheel
Speaker 1: barrow twists the lizard luck? That was a good one,
Speaker 1: all right. If you gave your spouse a whole pass,
Speaker 1: what celebrity or who were? Which celebrity would they use
Speaker 1: it for? So women were I'm asking you this, ladies,
Speaker 1: if you were to give your guy a hall pass
Speaker 1: to be with a celebrity, who would he pick? Yo?
Speaker 1: Tom out? Tom out? Let me explain something to you
Speaker 1: about this guy right here? Hold on. When when Kay
Speaker 1: asked the question, he said, he's sweating over here. Poor Reggie,
Speaker 1: you were vet in this fucking game. You're gonna laugh,
Speaker 1: all right. Reggie's He's like, this is my fifth wedding anniversary.
Speaker 1: Y'all got me underpression. Poor Reggie's over here, sweating, y'all.
Speaker 1: Al Right, Reggie, that baldy shining, shining, all right, all right,
Speaker 1: all right, I take Rihanna any day anybody else? Baby
Speaker 1: baby one. All right, Reggie, you're gonna get you. That's
Speaker 1: the only way she gets the hall pass if it's Jesus.
Speaker 1: I like the way you think, Reggie. I like the
Speaker 1: way you think. Couple number two, I canna say real quick? Oh,
Speaker 1: Tracy Alice Ross, Okay, wait, how do we do it?
Speaker 1: Was it he he would pick or who she would pick?
Speaker 1: He would pick? Right? Yeah, yeah, I got you ready?
Speaker 1: All right? Sheila Marie's wife's wife. They know Sheila Marie.
Speaker 1: Wherever you are, Eddie, about the bis is if he
Speaker 1: gets a hall task, just so you know, sis alright?
Speaker 1: One point over here, Couple of number three, Megan, Megan, goodgod,
Speaker 1: that neither I'm either all right happy looking at points?
Speaker 1: Do we need to leave treble the soul mates? It's
Speaker 1: a three way time, two way time. Alright, alright, let's
Speaker 1: keep going and let's keep going. All right, let's keep going.
Speaker 1: How would your spouse rate your sex drive on a
Speaker 1: scale from one to ten? Y'all laughing? Let me be
Speaker 1: honest with y'all right, listen, listen, listen, niggas be tired.
Speaker 1: Time I was in college, a pile drive. Kay, Now
Speaker 1: we got four kids. Okay, you get six minutes tops
Speaker 1: if you If you don't get yours in six minutes,
Speaker 1: don't even look at me if you know what it is.
Speaker 1: I'm about to turn forty soon. Okay, I have nothing
Speaker 1: to prove anymore. I'll be honest. I ain't being honest. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't care the ship you're still on TV, Zach
Speaker 1: Zach can do all that ship in the blue shower
Speaker 1: by the time I get home from doing that. Say,
Speaker 1: y'all know that blue light and the shower scene is
Speaker 1: how Dakota got here. Dakota I sold out blue lights
Speaker 1: on Amazon. Everybody was buying them up. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know when art imitates life? Alright, Couple number one
Speaker 1: three two one go low three, low three. They're on
Speaker 1: the same, They on the same. I respected that's honest. Yes,
Speaker 1: I ain't mad at it. Couple number two, well, I'm
Speaker 1: hearing I'm here in judgment out in the streets, I'm
Speaker 1: hearing that's my talking about y'all. Look at my man
Speaker 1: with my missing and he said, he's at eight with
Speaker 1: y'all think I'm still thoroughbread out here with something chilly
Speaker 1: with something couple number three low two. They knew you
Speaker 1: could tell they new in the game. They they don't know.
Speaker 1: They ain't listening to the questions. Wait, so what did
Speaker 1: y'all think was gonna they arguing already y'all don't get
Speaker 1: no points. So what did they think? You thought that
Speaker 1: your sex drive you were writing down or his? So
Speaker 1: he's a five and yours is hers is a two? Oh,
Speaker 1: and y'all are't married yet. Damn y'all starting off on
Speaker 1: the low end. Man, leave the judgment at home. It's
Speaker 1: not judgment. Don't. Don't. Just speaking from experience. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you, gentlemen, where where my gentlemen? Listen? Listen to
Speaker 1: me right When when I was in college, I used
Speaker 1: to be trying to go forever right and Kail used
Speaker 1: to be like, stop, okay, nobody want to be doing
Speaker 1: this ship all night? Are you done? I thought this
Speaker 1: is what she wanted and she was like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: And then tho some kids into the mix. Forget it,
Speaker 1: forget it. I all got no judgment for nobody. Make
Speaker 1: sure you get yours man and he get his last question.
Speaker 1: All right, last question, and then we'll see how we
Speaker 1: are with tides and whatnot, and then we'll have a
Speaker 1: tide break around. Okay, let's see. Let's pick a good
Speaker 1: one here. Let me see why the questions you have left?
Speaker 1: If you have a better question history questions here? Oh,
Speaker 1: this is the one? Which one the first one? Yes? Oh,
Speaker 1: a matter of fact, we're gonna do this isn't for
Speaker 1: any gender and specific? Who said I love you first?
Speaker 1: And where? And where? Don't be nervous, girl, don't be nervous.
Speaker 1: Couple number one, who's in the lead, Trouble one? Two
Speaker 1: or three? One is in the league? These two tables
Speaker 1: down here, be on everything, y'all be on everything. One
Speaker 1: is on the least. So pretty much just for the game.
Speaker 1: If they get it right, they win the game. All right.
Speaker 1: If not, we'll tide break around it. Come on, redge
Speaker 1: go who she said me via text and he said
Speaker 1: me my birthday at the next game? Who's right? Who
Speaker 1: was right? You don't remember? She don't remember? Broken? What
Speaker 1: would you do that? No? No, she was drunk a
Speaker 1: lot in the beginning of the relationship. Puble Number two
Speaker 1: all right, I understand you under It was a good time,
Speaker 1: wasn't it. Yeah? Number two, both of them said, And
Speaker 1: so when they getta half a point, they're gonna have
Speaker 1: a point. So they're gonna have a point. Okay, half
Speaker 1: a point for Marie and Eddie. Couple number three. Chris, Wait,
Speaker 1: wait a second, come for rd Come forward, come for
Speaker 1: Chris said, for y'all in the back. You can't see it.
Speaker 1: Chris said, me on the side of the bed. After
Speaker 1: we had sex, No, no, no, before before girl, I
Speaker 1: love you. Yeah, so I said, I love you. I
Speaker 1: did this poem and everything, and then it was on
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Well, I ain't gonna say
Speaker 1: what I did, but you know it's not either pussy
Speaker 1: and everything and everything. She said, no, she said, nobody
Speaker 1: did it like you this before. That's how you got
Speaker 1: off THET zone. That's how you got off the first zone.
Speaker 1: But he said, sitting on the side of her bed.
Speaker 1: Then we had bad sex, or then we had sex. Okay,
Speaker 1: I said bad sex. They don't sound like that sext
Speaker 1: to me. Can we give all about couples around them? Aploys?
Speaker 1: So who was in the lead? Because I feel like
Speaker 1: we should have a dance off for the person who
Speaker 1: if there's a tie, there's no ties, there's no ties.
Speaker 1: There's no ties to everybody one everybody, So triple, what
Speaker 1: are they getting? Come? Come, Triplet? She just gave him
Speaker 1: something that ran away. They got tickets to Um Dougie
Speaker 1: Fresh tomorrow here at Sony Hall, back to back date nights,
Speaker 1: y'all got. Y'all got participation gifts, So thank you just
Speaker 1: for participating, because it's not easy to get up here
Speaker 1: and be this honest with a group of people to
Speaker 1: give him a round of the floor. All right, before
Speaker 1: you keep going, let's stop for a quick second. We're
Speaker 1: gonna go pay some bills. We're gonna be right back,
Speaker 1: so hold that thought. We're gonna get to our favorite
Speaker 1: part of the show, which is listener letters. This is
Speaker 1: where we're gonna let you guys ask the questions and
Speaker 1: we're going to discuss what you guys want to discuss.
Speaker 1: How y'all feeling so far? Yeah, I'm really enjoying this
Speaker 1: time with y'all, Like I really really am. This is
Speaker 1: it's it's so good to be back on stage. I mean,
Speaker 1: Nika took my water to you can have some of mine.
Speaker 1: There you go, Brian, Brian brother, get his asked, Brian.
Speaker 1: Thanks all right. So I feel like we have a
Speaker 1: wordless mike like ours that we can probably pass through
Speaker 1: to you guys if someone has a question, Oh, trouble, trouble,
Speaker 1: there's trouble right there with the mic. All right, So
Speaker 1: let's dive in. Anybody got a question, don't be shot.
Speaker 1: Don't be shot like anybody, don't be had so much
Speaker 1: to say when the couple was up in here, you'll
Speaker 1: be writing in to that at gmail dot com. We
Speaker 1: promise we're not going to judge, y'all. Hello, you know,
Speaker 1: help me, help me? Oh god, girl. So I haven't
Speaker 1: been on the dating scene in a minute, you know,
Speaker 1: but from what I'm here, it's trash. Yeah, it's trash.
Speaker 1: Access pool, oh a pissie pool, time out, time out,
Speaker 1: flying in traveling. There's no men in here to to
Speaker 1: give their opinion because all the women are saying is trash.
Speaker 1: But I can't even argue because they ain't even know
Speaker 1: men in here. So I get it. Act. This is
Speaker 1: me and Kay actually talked about this, right. It's funny
Speaker 1: the dynamic in life that happens like throughout ages right.
Speaker 1: For example, remember when you were in high school, the
Speaker 1: popular girls went after who the older guys, Right, They
Speaker 1: went after the older guys, and then the guys who
Speaker 1: are their age, they kind of looked down on them. Right.
Speaker 1: The older guys dragged the popular girl through the mud
Speaker 1: through all that time. Right, the same thing happens in
Speaker 1: your twenties. The popular girl in your twenties, what do
Speaker 1: they do? They go after the ball players, the entertainers.
Speaker 1: They want, you know, they want to go on trips
Speaker 1: and do all this other stuff to do that is broken,
Speaker 1: ain't got no money. He's kind of left on the
Speaker 1: side until he builds his resume to be able to
Speaker 1: do the same things. Right, and then when he gets
Speaker 1: the chance to do that in his thirties, what does
Speaker 1: he do? Goes back to the twenties. And it's a cycle.
Speaker 1: It's a perpetuating cycle that's happening because I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of people are looking for instant gratification and
Speaker 1: not looking to build. K and I built everything together.
Speaker 1: I was broke. He didn't have nothing either, and we
Speaker 1: dealt with each other and all of our bullshit and
Speaker 1: trauma together, like seriously. And the rea the reason why
Speaker 1: I say that is because you may think the dating
Speaker 1: pool is trash because the guy you're talking to is trash.
Speaker 1: But if we're being honest, we probably would have considered
Speaker 1: our situations while we were dating to be trash if
Speaker 1: we listened to everybody else during that time. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I wasn't perfect, She wasn't perfect. We
Speaker 1: were trying to figure it out. I just think you
Speaker 1: have to learn how to give people grace and uh
Speaker 1: ask yourself, who are you choosing to date? Because if
Speaker 1: you keep dating the same person over and over and
Speaker 1: over again, at some point it ain't that person or
Speaker 1: those people, is you? You know what I'm saying. And
Speaker 1: that's that's men and women. That's not just one thing,
Speaker 1: you know. But I think for us, the advantage that
Speaker 1: we had because guy said, we haven't been in this
Speaker 1: dating scene in a long time. But the advantage that
Speaker 1: the val and I had is that when we met
Speaker 1: and started dating, Like, of course, we knew each other
Speaker 1: since elementary school, but when it came down to actually dating,
Speaker 1: we didn't do that until college. And we were eighteen
Speaker 1: and nineteen years old. We were babies, and we thought
Speaker 1: we knew it all. We had it all figured out,
Speaker 1: and we thought we were grown and um, I remember
Speaker 1: my mom de Vos mom being like, slow down, who
Speaker 1: were you as a person? Who are you as an individual? Um?
Speaker 1: But the advantage that we had at the time was
Speaker 1: that there wasn't much social media. We were young, and
Speaker 1: there weren't much egos. I think you have that eighteen
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty year old invincibility where you're just like, well, whatever,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do whatever, We're gonna see how it goes.
Speaker 1: We're gonna see how And we talked about a lot
Speaker 1: of this too in our book that's coming out, because
Speaker 1: it was a way for us to really grow together.
Speaker 1: And we came from a place where we were kind
Speaker 1: of a learning life at the same time simultaneously and
Speaker 1: at the same time giving each other grace, So we
Speaker 1: weren't really we didn't have too many life experiences separately
Speaker 1: or together to really judge each other by. We didn't have,
Speaker 1: um a lot of outside noise like, for example, social
Speaker 1: media now and all of the distractions that are out there.
Speaker 1: We really just were organically and authentically growing together almost
Speaker 1: as babies. So I think that's the advantage that we
Speaker 1: did have, and that I think that's something missing with
Speaker 1: this particular generation with dating is because people are showing
Speaker 1: up not as themselves but as representatives of who they are.
Speaker 1: And if more people were showing up as their true,
Speaker 1: authentic selves and being honest from jump and being transparent
Speaker 1: about what they're looking for about who they are, then
Speaker 1: it will be a little bit easier to connect with
Speaker 1: someone who genuinely likes you as a person. So we
Speaker 1: could put down the facades, we can put down who
Speaker 1: we think this person wants us to be, who we
Speaker 1: think society needs us to be, and really connect with
Speaker 1: someone without that um. So that's important. I think that's
Speaker 1: what's missing from the generation. So to answer your questions,
Speaker 1: this um, show up as who you are, and your
Speaker 1: person is going to find you. It may not be
Speaker 1: in your time, it's gonna be in God's time, and
Speaker 1: it'll happen. It'll happen. It'll happen. You know you you
Speaker 1: find and ship. But sometimes I get lost just listening
Speaker 1: you talk like you're kind of smart. Sometimes sometimes you
Speaker 1: know you. I agree with you, though, Like, don't just
Speaker 1: go to one place, go different places, try church, try
Speaker 1: sports ball, go on vacation, don't get stuck in the
Speaker 1: same spot, because if you're finding the same people in
Speaker 1: the same spot, then you're going to keep doing the
Speaker 1: same thing over and over again. Just travel, travel, Just
Speaker 1: do as much as you can to be the best
Speaker 1: version of yourself, and you're gonna find the right person
Speaker 1: when you do that. Yeah, I feel like mutual friends, too,
Speaker 1: is a good way. Like if you have a friend
Speaker 1: that kind of knows a friend that says me, she
Speaker 1: might are you someone saying no, no, I was. I
Speaker 1: think it could work potentially if you see that's it's
Speaker 1: to get on you. I get like, such a such
Speaker 1: would be so cute together. And then yeah, I tried
Speaker 1: that one time. They're calling me, you know what's wrong
Speaker 1: with your nigga, bro? I'm like, what you made? I
Speaker 1: thought y'all was nice. You said that happens all the time.
Speaker 1: Insist this, but I don't think necessarily playing matchmaker. But
Speaker 1: I'm saying, for example, I'm having to cook out at
Speaker 1: my house, a couple of friends get together, a couple
Speaker 1: of friends together, and people organically just kind of hit
Speaker 1: it off, and it's like, Okay, if my like minded
Speaker 1: groups of friends get together in the same comple space,
Speaker 1: then maybe somebody might connect, you know, so not necessarily matchmaker,
Speaker 1: but more like that. So good luck to you sis
Speaker 1: on your search. Us question, what's up? Brother? I want
Speaker 1: to know how y'all like everything like constant conversation, like
Speaker 1: no real talk. People think that in order for you
Speaker 1: to have longevity with someone, you just have to have
Speaker 1: a soul mate with everything y'all agree on everything, all
Speaker 1: your ideologies online. That's not the case. We tend to
Speaker 1: disagree on a lot of things. But what makes us
Speaker 1: work is that I feel safe being open about what
Speaker 1: I need and what I want, and I try to
Speaker 1: create a safe space for her to do the same
Speaker 1: thing because what I don't want her to do is
Speaker 1: to ever feel like she has to say what I
Speaker 1: want to hear and in order for us to work,
Speaker 1: because ultimately actually gets exhausting, and then you're like, man,
Speaker 1: I'm tired of doing this, no more. No, I don't
Speaker 1: like popcorn. You know what I'm saying. You know, it'd
Speaker 1: be it'd be simple things. When you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: with somebody for a long time and you're trying to
Speaker 1: be something that you're not because you want to appease
Speaker 1: that person, It'll be something that just breaks the Campmel's back.
Speaker 1: I remember one of the first arguments we had that
Speaker 1: was like like like really like like big deal. When
Speaker 1: we moved to Detroit. This is the first time we
Speaker 1: had our own house and you could set the furnace
Speaker 1: to make it how a cold and she leaves that
Speaker 1: motherfucking man eighty degrees. I like my thermostat on Kingston, Jamaica,
Speaker 1: and period, you come to the house, it's gonna be hot.
Speaker 1: It's always hot. And I remember I was just frustrated
Speaker 1: trying to jump through these hoops to be like the
Speaker 1: perfect man or ideal man of what she wants. And
Speaker 1: I'm jumping through the hoopsman. And I walked in the
Speaker 1: house one day and I was just wearing bullets and
Speaker 1: I was like, enough, turn the heat down, what's your problem?
Speaker 1: And then I didn't realize she was doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: and she like, did nobody wanted that cold in here?
Speaker 1: I'll come here every day. You want me with my
Speaker 1: ass out, you want me wearing this stuff. I can't
Speaker 1: be coldhead. And we arguing about the thermostat, bro the thermostat.
Speaker 1: We arguing, screaming, cursing at each other, talking about each other,
Speaker 1: families opened the thermostat bro. I didn't say anything about you,
Speaker 1: my scoop, Brian, I said nothing about you. Guys, have
Speaker 1: nothing but love in respect for all of you. She's
Speaker 1: like you like, get colder. He's just like your father.
Speaker 1: You're sitting down, Just watch the teeth like your father.
Speaker 1: Old your hand back just like dude. But no, seriously,
Speaker 1: like we have. Do you remember the clip that went
Speaker 1: viral of us. The people were trying to like pretty
Speaker 1: much bash us, and we were talking about sex openly
Speaker 1: and talking about monogamy in all honesty. That has been
Speaker 1: the key to our relationship. We have hard conversations all
Speaker 1: the time, just hard conversations about anything. Why Why do
Speaker 1: you not know how to manage money? Where where did
Speaker 1: that come from? Let's talk about your family history with finances.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Devout, Why do you like
Speaker 1: sex so much? What? What? What is it about it?
Speaker 1: And we sit down and have these conversations, and then
Speaker 1: once you have those conversations, you start to realize, like, wait,
Speaker 1: we can work our way through these things. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Oh, if if that's what you need
Speaker 1: in order to feel comfortable, I'm willing to bend for that.
Speaker 1: And if that's what you need, I'm willing to bend
Speaker 1: for that. But a lot of people don't want to
Speaker 1: have those conversations, you know, So he said, a lot
Speaker 1: of people are not blunt. They are they want to
Speaker 1: spare other people's feelings. What's the name of this podcast,
Speaker 1: dead ass? It's dead ass for a reason because a
Speaker 1: lot of our arguments would end in you really said
Speaker 1: that and dead ass? You feel that way? Dead ass?
Speaker 1: If this is gonna be my soul, many like I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to spend the rest of my life with this woman,
Speaker 1: I have to know how she feels. And I have
Speaker 1: to as a man because a lot of times it
Speaker 1: would be us who feel like And I'll be honest,
Speaker 1: we're taught. We're taught. Somebody talk about it a vow
Speaker 1: say it again, No understand understand what it's like to
Speaker 1: be a black man in this country for for a minute, right.
Speaker 1: You're taught that when you go out in the world,
Speaker 1: you have to be strong. You have to hold your
Speaker 1: feelings aside, and you have to keep this facade of strength.
Speaker 1: That's what you're taught from young Like if you just
Speaker 1: put a young black man in the room. He doesn't
Speaker 1: come up with that himself. He's been taught that. So
Speaker 1: now that he's a man, and that's how you asked,
Speaker 1: you can't say or you got problems, I'm leaving you alone.
Speaker 1: We gotta work through that together. That was a large
Speaker 1: part of my problem. I didn't want to be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: I had to be tough. I had to be strong.
Speaker 1: My father taught me that. My father taught me that
Speaker 1: because his father, who was in the nave, he taught
Speaker 1: him that. You understand what I'm saying. When you get older,
Speaker 1: you start to learn that these are the things that
Speaker 1: you can break down. And when you can be vulnerable
Speaker 1: with the person that you love, that toughness comes from
Speaker 1: you sharing. You know what I'm saying. What I'm saying
Speaker 1: are on This is some best friendship. Like he and
Speaker 1: I literally best friends. And when you think about the
Speaker 1: relationship of a friend, it's a relationship that you generally
Speaker 1: have by choice, right, It's not like a family type joint.
Speaker 1: And I choose to want to understand him, I choose
Speaker 1: to want to respect him. I choose to want to
Speaker 1: not make him happy because I don't think that I
Speaker 1: can make him happy happy. This is something that he
Speaker 1: has to find within. But however, I can contribute to
Speaker 1: making his workload lighter. If he has to fight his
Speaker 1: way through the world, He's not gonna have to fight
Speaker 1: his way with me at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast
Speaker 1: network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow the
Speaker 1: podcast on social media at dead as the podcasts and
Speaker 1: Never miss a Thing