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Speaker 1: Motherfucking many years, so many motherfucking many years. Yep, yep,

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Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome

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Speaker 1: to another spectacular mini episode of My Mama Told Me,

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Speaker 1: the podcast where we done deep, deeper into the pockets

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Speaker 1: of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove

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Speaker 1: the theories that you the listeners have at home. It's

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Speaker 1: your time, baby. It ain't about me no more. This

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Speaker 1: is about you, You rascals, You you wrap scallions. Is

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Speaker 1: that how you say that word? Never? Actually, I don't

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Speaker 1: know that I've seen rap scallions written out. I might

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Speaker 1: be saying it our own rap scallions. That seems weird, scalions, rappid.

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Speaker 1: I can feel myself getting into some sort of weird

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Speaker 1: honey space, and I'll kill myself. I'll kill myself on

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Speaker 1: the podcast. If that's the person that I'm becoming. I'm

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Speaker 1: your host Lengths and Kerman. It's weird to introduce myself

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Speaker 1: this far into it after I've threatened suicide, but that's

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Speaker 1: that's the way the cookie crumbled this time. I'm excited

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Speaker 1: this week because I got a fun theory, of very

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Speaker 1: exciting theory that I've never I think I had heard

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Speaker 1: it before, but I never really took it seriously before.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't a theory that I gave any real consideration

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Speaker 1: until a person named Jonathan, I daresay, a gentleman. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go so far as to call Jonathan a gentleman,

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Speaker 1: but j But Jonathan from Austin sent me a conspiracy

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Speaker 1: theory basically where and you know, he goes into a long,

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Speaker 1: uh the thing in his email, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to step on too many things, so I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: read the entire email, but the long and short of

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Speaker 1: it is, Jonathan says, So I heard this conspiracy theory

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Speaker 1: about a year ago. It blew my mind. I'm curious

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Speaker 1: if you happen to come across it as well. I

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Speaker 1: already said I have Jonathan, just shut the funk up

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Speaker 1: and tell us what the conspiracy is. And he said,

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Speaker 1: the conspiracy is that Diana Ross and Smokey Robinson are

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Speaker 1: the actual parents of Michael Jackson. This is some ship

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Speaker 1: Jonathan sent to my inbox. Jonathan wants me to dig

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Speaker 1: into this seemingly very absurd, very nonsensical conspiracy theory. And again,

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Speaker 1: on its head, this sounds like a pretty absurd thing, right,

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Speaker 1: largely in that so much of the theory that Jonathan

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Speaker 1: presents is based on Michael Jackson quote unquote looking like

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Speaker 1: both Diana Ross and Smokey Robinson, which we know is

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Speaker 1: is insane because Michael Jackson doesn't look like anything. Michael Jackson,

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Speaker 1: before he died, looked more like Katherine Zada Jones than

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Speaker 1: either Diana Ross or Smokey Robinson. And no one is

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Speaker 1: accusing the lady who gave Michael Douglas throat cancer of

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Speaker 1: being Michael's move you know what I mean, Her pussy

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Speaker 1: is poisoned, but but it didn't. That doesn't make her

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Speaker 1: Michael's mama. That just makes her. It doesn't matter. There is, however,

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Speaker 1: this crazy conspiracy theory. Immediately I go, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you're out of your mind, Jonathan. But Jonathan pointed me

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Speaker 1: to a Reddit thread that gathered a pretty wild amount

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Speaker 1: of evidence to support this theory, which I'm gonna run

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Speaker 1: through some of the highlights. It's a super long thread

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Speaker 1: that I can't read on the podcast. I'll feel like

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Speaker 1: an idiot. I'm not a good enough reader to go

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Speaker 1: through this thing in front of all of you. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna do it, but I will go through some

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Speaker 1: of the big hits that sort of came out of it. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's start from the beginning. Diana Ross apparently first met

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Speaker 1: Michael Jackson. I'm using met real lightly here because in

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Speaker 1: theory she met him when when he came out of

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Speaker 1: that vagina, you know what I mean, when he came

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Speaker 1: out that canal. Now some would say, well, maybe it

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Speaker 1: was a C section baby, but no, we saw her dummy,

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Speaker 1: no scars he came, not real births, no epidural. She

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Speaker 1: just took it with Michael. I don't know why I

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Speaker 1: would go down this train either. My brain ain't good,

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Speaker 1: and oh boy, when I'm alone, it gets even worse.

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Speaker 1: But that said, Diana Ross first meets Michael Jackson and

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Speaker 1: the rest of the Jackson Five, although she did not

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Speaker 1: seem to care about them very much. But she first

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Speaker 1: meets Michael when they showcased at a Motown barbecue at

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Speaker 1: Barry Gordy's house. They were trying to get signed by Motown.

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Speaker 1: They went up there, they sang their little songs. Joe

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Speaker 1: beat him in the bathroom a little bit, then sent

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Speaker 1: them back out to sing some more songs. They did

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Speaker 1: the whole routine, and afterwards, apparently Diana Ross immediately went

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Speaker 1: up to Michael and expressed that she was going to

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Speaker 1: take a quote unquote special interest in him. She said, look, Tito,

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Speaker 1: fuck him Marlon? Who is that? What does he offer

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Speaker 1: to this group? I know what Jackie does, he's big.

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Speaker 1: What does Marlon do besides be your size and not

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Speaker 1: good at singing? Fuck him? You You're special to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm taking a special interest in you. Now. This oddly

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Speaker 1: parallels a movie that Diana Ross started called Double Platinum.

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Speaker 1: Maybe some of my elderly listeners remember Double Platinum. I

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Speaker 1: do not I am very young, I am spry, I

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Speaker 1: touched my toes all the time. But Double Platinum is

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Speaker 1: about giving up her child for her career and then

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Speaker 1: later revealing to that child that she is her real

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Speaker 1: mother when she discovers that the child has talent, and

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Speaker 1: then she goes on to help that child pursue her

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Speaker 1: own dreams and aspirations as a performer. Now, it's also

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Speaker 1: worth noting that Diana did not tell her real life

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Speaker 1: daughter who her father was, Barry Gordy until she was

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Speaker 1: thirteen years old, So we noticed bitch has a history

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Speaker 1: of keeping secrets. She's a real secretive old bag, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. She hush hush, That's why she's

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Speaker 1: whispering all the time. Trust the motherfucker that whispers as

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Speaker 1: much as her sing the goddamn song Diana Project, stop

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Speaker 1: whispering at me? But what what did you say? What?

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Speaker 1: I can't even hear you because you're you're whispering all

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Speaker 1: the time. Some about I'm coming out no if you're

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Speaker 1: coming out yelling, don't I'm coming no out Project that

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Speaker 1: ship Diana. I'm sorry, I'm getting upset at Diana Ross.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure she's a regular listener. This is also theoretically,

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Speaker 1: and this is where it gets exciting, right, it's theoretically

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Speaker 1: tied or people suggest at least that this is what

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Speaker 1: the song Billy Jean is actually about. Huh, Billy Jean.

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Speaker 1: You know Billy Jean, the one where his feet light

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Speaker 1: up like gokun. He's just running and for some reason

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Speaker 1: the sidewalk lights up and and that's one of the

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Speaker 1: greatest music videos of all time. And now in in

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Speaker 1: modern you know, technology, we realized that was pretty stupid.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't even that cool. But at the time, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure motherfucker's like, Holy ship, this motherfucker made the sidewalk

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Speaker 1: light up. He's got some sort of weird radiation poisoning.

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Speaker 1: That's that's fucking arwesome. Good for you, Michael Jackson. But

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Speaker 1: there are some that argue that this is theoretically what

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Speaker 1: the song Billy Jane has actually about. When Michael sings,

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Speaker 1: she says, I am the one, but the kid is

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Speaker 1: not my son. He's actually singing from the perspective of Diana,

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Speaker 1: who is saying that she is his mother, but he

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Speaker 1: is not her son, as he is a member of

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Speaker 1: the Jackson's Now, whoa mine? Fucking blown now. This also

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Speaker 1: correlates with the fact that when the Jackson Five were

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Speaker 1: originally uh signed by Motown, they did stay with Diana

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Speaker 1: Roster quite some time. I assume Michael got a big

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Speaker 1: her room than Jackie and Germaine and of course Tito,

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Speaker 1: but apparently not only did she give him a larger

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Speaker 1: room and probably like cool mink coats to sleep underneath,

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Speaker 1: and a private massage from a Swedish woman who was

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Speaker 1: very nervous but also wanted to work real hard to

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Speaker 1: make sure that she didn't get beaten by one of

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Speaker 1: Diana Ross's many many bodyguards, but she gave Michael all

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Speaker 1: of these nice things. But on top of that, she

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Speaker 1: also used to take regular walks with Michael, private walks

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Speaker 1: on almost a daily basis, which some theorized, particularly this

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Speaker 1: Reddit thread. And I didn't credit the reddy thread. And

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Speaker 1: that's not like me. I'm very good at crediting my sources.

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Speaker 1: I am a ClOH I never missed when it comes

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Speaker 1: to crediting sources. But the the thread comes from a

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Speaker 1: person named turban Berry. Turban Berry, and this came uh

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Speaker 1: many many a moon ago. I don't know specifically when

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Speaker 1: I'm not good it reading Reddit, but the point is

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Speaker 1: Urban Barry theorized that these walks that Diana Ross and

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Speaker 1: Michael Jackson used to take would have been the time

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Speaker 1: when she would have revealed to him that she was

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Speaker 1: in fact his mother. There are also some arguments that

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Speaker 1: that is what the song Dirty Diana is about, back

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Speaker 1: when Diana Ross was thirsting over old Smokey Robinson and

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Speaker 1: she was the loose the Dirty Diana trying to to

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Speaker 1: seduce a young Smokey Robinson. Now, the question that I'm

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Speaker 1: sure all of my listeners have is why the Funk

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Speaker 1: is Smokey Robinson in this story? What is Smokey gotta do?

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Speaker 1: What idea this? Smokey is a good man. He ain't

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Speaker 1: never hurt nobody. He made that song about not doing

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Speaker 1: uh drugs and and being in gangs and stuff, which

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Speaker 1: was a train wreck of a music video, but otherwise

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Speaker 1: he's a pretty solid guy. I think he did quite

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Speaker 1: a few drugs of his own, but nothing might Ben

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Speaker 1: would inspire him to do the song. It's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: stop selling me drugs. They're too delicious. I'm hooked, fellas.

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Speaker 1: You gotta quit these games and you're causing terrible things

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Speaker 1: that happened in my life. But that's not the here,

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Speaker 1: no there. The reason that Smokey Robinson is in the

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Speaker 1: story is apparently Smokey and Diana did grow up on

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Speaker 1: the exact same street in Detroit, and Diana on multiple

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Speaker 1: occasions in public spaces, refers to Smokey as her first love.

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Speaker 1: So apparently there was something intimate happening between the two

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Speaker 1: of them, some sort of of love story happened in

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Speaker 1: the background. Now, theoretically, this is where we theorize, right,

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Speaker 1: is that theoretically Smokey and Diana could have hooked up

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Speaker 1: in high school. Smokey would have been eighteen, Diana would

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Speaker 1: have been fourteen. Not the coolest age gap, right and

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Speaker 1: we know better now. Perhaps it's it's legal, but who

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Speaker 1: not the kind of legal you love Anyway, Smokey was

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Speaker 1: a little bit older, but he could have been with Diana,

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Speaker 1: and he didn't use the condom, because come on, dog,

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Speaker 1: you got green eyes using the condom for but you don't.

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Speaker 1: You don't use the condom when you got that you

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Speaker 1: got green eyes. Nah, you you gotta let that ship yetta,

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Speaker 1: let that ship settle and pass out the beauty who

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Speaker 1: you know, it is what it is. But that said

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Speaker 1: Smokey doesn't use the condom, and she he gives Diana

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Speaker 1: Ross a baby, and then they have this love child.

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Speaker 1: And then Barry Gordy, mean old Barry Gordy, who's already

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Speaker 1: deep in the brain of Diana Ross, convinces her to

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Speaker 1: give that baby to a fellow musician he knows, um

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Speaker 1: gentleman named Joseph Jackson, Joseph kitty kat Jackson, Joseph grown

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Speaker 1: ass puma Jackson has to avoid damaging her career, and

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Speaker 1: Smokey naturally was like, ah yeah, cool, get the kid away.

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Speaker 1: You know, honestly, the kids seemed like he was gonna

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Speaker 1: grow up pretty weird. So I'm good, right, really trying

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Speaker 1: to check in on the motherfucker like that. But now

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Speaker 1: the rest of the thread, this is where it sort

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Speaker 1: of loses the trail for me. A lot of the

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Speaker 1: rest of the thread is is sort of like weird

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Speaker 1: photo analysis where Turban Terry, I don't remember the motherfucker's name,

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Speaker 1: but he goes on a bunch of uh He'll pull

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Speaker 1: up old pictures like a photo shoot where Michael's standing

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Speaker 1: with Smokey, with Diana, with Katherine, with Joseph, and it

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Speaker 1: was a weird fact that they did. In fact, all

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Speaker 1: what was that six of five of them take a

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Speaker 1: photo shoot together, just randomly, but in theories pointing out

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Speaker 1: the different features that connect the all of it been

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Speaker 1: it's hard to sell, you know what I mean, because

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Speaker 1: basically him being like Michael's got Diana's eyes and Smokey's

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Speaker 1: smoke I don't know. Look, the point is, the larger

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Speaker 1: point is that if white beauty standards didn't force Michael

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Speaker 1: Jackson to slice off his wide nose and his thick

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Speaker 1: mahogany lips, then perhaps we might have gotten a real

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Speaker 1: look at his adult face and know for sure if

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Speaker 1: he was a Jackson, or if he was a Ross

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Speaker 1: or perhaps even if he was a little bit of smoke.

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Speaker 1: This entire time, we are being tricked away from knowing

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Speaker 1: the truth about Michael Jackson and his real parents because

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Speaker 1: of the white man and his magazines and his beauty standards.

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Speaker 1: They've robbed us of the real truth. So once again,

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Speaker 1: it is your fault, white devil, that this theory will

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Speaker 1: always go un answered. We'll never really know the truth

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Speaker 1: unless Quincy Jones starts snitching. You know, he loves to

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Speaker 1: talk some ship. Right right before Quincy dies, he's gonna

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Speaker 1: be like, you know, Smogy eight Diana Ross House, and

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Speaker 1: then you know they'll turn that into a whole thing.

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Speaker 1: But god damn it. The main thing is is that

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Speaker 1: the white man has once again made us hurt our

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Speaker 1: celebrities and forced them to no longer recognize each other physically.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I'm just blaming

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Speaker 1: white people for problems. I don't know white people did it.

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Speaker 1: Michael Jackson never heard anybody. Don't quote me on that,

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Speaker 1: Don't you dare quote me on that one. Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean it. I was just saying stuff at

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Speaker 1: that point. Don't you don't you dare write that one

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Speaker 1: down and report me for saying Michael never heard anybody.

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Speaker 1: I can't prove that, and honestly, I'm not even a

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Speaker 1: hundred percent sure I believe it. Oh boy. Anyway, I

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Speaker 1: did what I could here, Jonathan. I hope that this

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Speaker 1: was satisfactory and answering your question concerned, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's a wild conspiracy, and frankly, you know, all of

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Speaker 1: these people are so toxic that I don't know that.

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Speaker 1: I'm fully convinced that it's impossible. Anyway, if you want

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Speaker 1: to be like Jonathan and and make me ramble until

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Speaker 1: I'm sweating nervous from having defended a potential child molester,

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Speaker 1: then you can send me your theories at my mama

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Speaker 1: pod at gmail dot com, and I'll read them. I'll

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Speaker 1: read every single one, and I'll try to respond to

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Speaker 1: most of them except the ones that scare me. But

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Speaker 1: send me your theories and then go on Apple Podcasts

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Speaker 1: and rate us and review us and say nice things

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Speaker 1: or main things, but just put something. I just want

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Speaker 1: to I just want you to say something to me,

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Speaker 1: Talk to me, Talk to me, do do do? Just

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Speaker 1: talk to me. You know what I mean to say

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Speaker 1: words to me and I listen. All right, Well that's it,

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Speaker 1: by bitch. Motherfucking many years so, motherfucking many years. So,

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Speaker 1: motherfucking many years so, motherfucking many years so