Speaker 1: Okay, guys, So on our Embrace Your Sexuality episode of
Speaker 1: the pod, I kind of made fun of melissas saying
Speaker 1: sadomasochism and did rift on the idea of somebody making
Speaker 1: into a beat, which is something that they do on the.
Speaker 2: Dough Boys podcast, which I love.
Speaker 1: If you haven't listened to it, give it a listen.
Speaker 1: But you guys did it, and I'm so tickled by it.
Speaker 1: I just love it so much. We had a couple
Speaker 1: of people do it, and I just think this is
Speaker 1: so funny. And if I think it might be like
Speaker 1: something we continue on the pod, so like, if one
Speaker 1: of us says something really weird and totally deranged and outlandish,
Speaker 1: please feel free to turn it into the newest club beat.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to party. Let's do it. You guys, I
Speaker 1: know you can. You're very talented, all of you. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the first one is from a more better listener
Speaker 1: that call themselves be Temp, which is adorable. I know
Speaker 1: that's not your real name, but adorable, Well, it's your
Speaker 1: DJ name. Can't wait to hear. This one sado masochism.
Speaker 1: And this next one is from a more better listener
Speaker 1: named Ash. Thank you so much, Ash for doing this.
Speaker 1: These are so funny, you guys.
Speaker 3: Thanks More More, More, more better, more and more.
Speaker 1: Better More. Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we
Speaker 1: stop pretending to have it all together and embrace the
Speaker 1: journey of becoming a little more better every day.
Speaker 2: Or at least trying to. I clearly am right now.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's like that one. That's most of the marrow,
Speaker 1: And that's Stephanie Beatrice.
Speaker 2: How are you, friend? I'm okay, you, I'm great.
Speaker 3: Have you been doing anything lately that's a little more
Speaker 3: better Stephanie?
Speaker 1: Honestly, no. Well, I leave for a job pretty soon.
Speaker 1: I have to leave the country, So I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to like relax and enjoy my house and not stressed
Speaker 1: too much. Oh that's good. It's great to have a job,
Speaker 1: but it's hard to leave home.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that is the four months. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 3: long time. I know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a long time, bro. It's a long time, bro.
Speaker 1: How about you. Have you done anything that's more better lately?
Speaker 3: Well, I am fresh off a trip with my family
Speaker 3: and we went to the East coast.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: When we are in Florida, we keep our kids on
Speaker 3: West Coast time, so they go to bed late, and
Speaker 3: then I go to bed when they go to bed,
Speaker 3: and then I stay in bed until they wake up.
Speaker 3: So I got like nine ten hours of sleep almost
Speaker 3: the whole time while I was in Florida, with the
Speaker 3: exception of a few nights in the beginning because bridgest
Speaker 3: In Part two had come out, and so obviously I
Speaker 3: had no choice.
Speaker 1: Don't tell me anything. Oh my god, I don't tell me.
Speaker 3: My god, watch, Oh my god. I'm so excited for
Speaker 3: you to watch it, and please text me and don't
Speaker 3: tell me when you finish. It's so horny this season.
Speaker 1: It's always so horny, incredibly horny. Though it's like it's
Speaker 1: hitting on another level. It is, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. It's great.
Speaker 3: It's great because last last season was like so much
Speaker 3: build up and just basically two people like breathing hot
Speaker 3: air into each other, like very closely for the entire
Speaker 3: season and this season, which it's great, which is great.
Speaker 3: Also listen, love a slow burn, love a slow burn.
Speaker 1: But and it's like grab a boob.
Speaker 3: Get it, get up onto it, skirt, yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1: And yeah, well I like how this evolved into it.
Speaker 1: It did. We are talking about Bridgerton. I'm watching America's
Speaker 1: version of Bridgerton, which is Love Island, USA. It's so good.
Speaker 1: I love it so much. It's so funny. I like,
Speaker 1: my dream would be to do the commentary on it.
Speaker 1: But Ian Sterling, who does the commentary on it, is
Speaker 1: so good that like nobody can nobody can match it
Speaker 1: because because he's got that like great accent and he's
Speaker 1: just ridiculous. But that would be my dream, is to
Speaker 1: do guest commentary on Love Island. I want that for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want it for me too. They should do a season.
Speaker 3: Where it's like celebrity guest commentary.
Speaker 1: If it's bad, then you it would ruin the show
Speaker 1: because it's so stupid and funny. Okay, okay, you guys,
Speaker 1: this week we're not talking about We're not talking about
Speaker 1: any other television. Although listen, you know what we work
Speaker 1: in TV. We like TV. We watched TV. Melissa's taste
Speaker 1: is a little better than mine, like True More. You're
Speaker 1: you know what, You're right because both shows are horny.
Speaker 1: It's just different kinds of horn different kinds of horney.
Speaker 3: And I love all the cheesy rom coms and you
Speaker 3: like some really cool anime stuff that I don't watch,
Speaker 3: so you know.
Speaker 1: It's all our tastes are varied. Anyway tastes guys, more Better.
Speaker 1: We've been reading your emails and we've been listening to
Speaker 1: your voice notes, which is really cute. You guys. Thank you,
Speaker 1: and thank you guys for writing. Yeah, and this week's
Speaker 1: topic comes from a listener request. By the way, if
Speaker 1: you have a suggestion for a future episode, please email
Speaker 1: us at Morebetter pod at gmail dot com and you
Speaker 1: can include a voice note to be featured on the pod.
Speaker 1: So let's read the email. It says, hello, Hi to
Speaker 1: how whoever this email may reach, it reached us. It's us,
Speaker 1: it's us, guys. My name is Jay. These episodes have
Speaker 1: really been enjoyable to listen to, especially in my own
Speaker 1: downtime where I can relax and switch off. Oh that's nice, Jay.
Speaker 1: So what I would like to be more better at
Speaker 1: is I find that I struggle with overthinking, or I
Speaker 1: should say, I catch myself overthinking about something, which usually
Speaker 1: just makes it worse. Oh, I understand. I was hoping
Speaker 1: you could talk about how to overcome this I mean,
Speaker 1: and we can try.
Speaker 2: We can try.
Speaker 1: Thank you in advance. Thank you and advance are taking
Speaker 1: the time to read my passage. Oh my god, are
Speaker 1: we in Bridgington? I really appreciate it. Kind regards, Jay,
Speaker 1: Thanks Jay, Jay.
Speaker 3: Can I just say your manners are impeccable. I don't
Speaker 3: remember the last time I write an email where someone
Speaker 3: signed off kind regards and I kind of want my
Speaker 3: God also.
Speaker 1: Like taking my time to read my passage, my passage,
Speaker 1: my passage. So we liked this. We are going to
Speaker 1: talk about overthinking today, Melissa, can you explain what you
Speaker 1: think overthinking means?
Speaker 3: Well, I have my interpretation of overthinking, but definition of
Speaker 3: overthinking that I looked up or that was given to me.
Speaker 3: Overthinking is deep thinking that spirals into unproductive thinking can
Speaker 3: be correlated with anxiety, depression and or OCDYE. So of
Speaker 3: course yes, and the spiral. It's the spiral. That word spiral,
Speaker 3: I think is key when talking about overthinking because that
Speaker 3: is the feeling for me when I've been stuck overthinking.
Speaker 2: And I think when I was younger, I.
Speaker 3: Was it was really bad because, in case you don't know,
Speaker 3: anxiety and I are BFFs, best friends forever. Oh and
Speaker 3: I've learned to live with my bestie a little bit
Speaker 3: more better as I had gotten older, touch and go
Speaker 3: up and down, as we all know that journey is.
Speaker 3: But when I was younger, obviously everything's harder when you're younger,
Speaker 3: and it was I just remember like the spiral being
Speaker 3: such a huge part of my life, with like everything
Speaker 3: getting dressed in the morning, like making choices about the
Speaker 3: order to do things or like what to if I
Speaker 3: was put in charge of planning something. Yeah, what about you,
Speaker 3: How's what's your experience with overthinking?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's an interesting one, right, because like I think, Okay,
Speaker 1: so let me start by saying I did go just
Speaker 1: I did just go see inside out too. Oh and
Speaker 1: have you seen it? I have not. No, I my
Speaker 1: kids saw it, but I couldn't go. It's pretty fantastic,
Speaker 1: And there's a new emotion, a new character, anxiety, And
Speaker 1: like I just thought that was such a smart and
Speaker 1: incredible way to introduce the idea of anxiety to kids,
Speaker 1: or like this idea to like name what they are
Speaker 1: going through. Because every as I've gotten older, I realize
Speaker 1: every single person that I know is dealing with anxiety
Speaker 1: in some kind of way. Some people are better at
Speaker 1: managing it, some people are learning how to manage it,
Speaker 1: and some people don't even know that that's what they're
Speaker 1: struggling with, and it's just like they're normal, which I
Speaker 1: would say is me, It's been a journey to get
Speaker 1: to the place where I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, that's
Speaker 1: what that's what this is. But for me, overthinking kind
Speaker 1: of manifests as like I guess it is a spiral.
Speaker 1: It's less like about it's less about like planning for
Speaker 1: the It's not like a planning thing for me, you know,
Speaker 1: it's not like a it's more like I start kind
Speaker 1: of thinking about how everything is gonna go wrong. Oh
Speaker 1: like I think about what could what could go wrong,
Speaker 1: like as if that's gonna like help me or protect me.
Speaker 1: So yeah, like that's kind of what happens to me.
Speaker 1: I like from Jay's letter, it sounds like maybe the
Speaker 1: idea is like for Ja, it's like maybe they start
Speaker 1: thinking about something and then they can't stop and then
Speaker 1: it's like a cycle. Like it just like kind of
Speaker 1: like a spiral. R Yeah. Yeah, but I think it's
Speaker 1: different for everybody the way that it kind of happens. So,
Speaker 1: like I thought this was really interesting. Isis our producer
Speaker 1: sent us this article from the Harvard Business Review, and like,
Speaker 1: I just I thought this would be interesting to bring
Speaker 1: up now because there's like kind of what happens in
Speaker 1: the article is this this woman named Melody Wilding, who
Speaker 1: is a licensed what what did I look to is
Speaker 1: a licensed master social worker. There you go, who's like,
Speaker 1: you know, this person knows what they're talking about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we rarely do, but this person does. And what she
Speaker 1: said about overthinking is that there's kind of like you
Speaker 1: can kind of group it into three types. Right, there's rumination,
Speaker 1: which is like a mental loop where you dwell on
Speaker 1: past events, particularly negative or distressing ones.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: There's future tripping, which is me, I'm the future tripper,
Speaker 1: concerned about what lies ahead. Right, future tripping can escalate
Speaker 1: to the point where it like stops you from doing
Speaker 1: stuff right. And then over analyzing. While rumination and future
Speaker 1: tripping are bound by time, one that's looking back and
Speaker 1: the other looking forward, over analyzing is centered on depth.
Speaker 1: It involves diving credibly deep into a topic, thought, or situation,
Speaker 1: often to the point of excess. So it's just like
Speaker 1: getting stuck in the thing. Oh, the over analyzing of
Speaker 1: like this one moment or this one thing and getting
Speaker 1: bogged down in details it might not be particularly relevant.
Speaker 1: So I thought that was really interesting because like it
Speaker 1: does feel like everybody's kind of overthinking is kind of different, right.
Speaker 3: I like this because it I think it's important to
Speaker 3: begin to identify what type of overthinker you may be, right,
Speaker 3: because right, the more specific we can get about, like
Speaker 3: the things that we struggle with, I feel like helps
Speaker 3: us kind of figure out ways to get out of them,
Speaker 3: or manage.
Speaker 2: Them, or just be better at them, don't you.
Speaker 1: Think, right? Yeah, I don't overthink about like what to eat, right,
Speaker 1: Like what happens to me is like like I'm not
Speaker 1: an overthinker about food. For example, I'm I freeze because
Speaker 1: like I'd don't have the capability, so like I'll open
Speaker 1: the fridge and look around and be like this is
Speaker 1: too much. I can't like make myself a sandwich, right,
Speaker 1: forget it, and then I'll close the fridge, So like
Speaker 1: I would call that something else, right, Like that's something else? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Or like my sister, for example, has been helping my
Speaker 1: mom pick furniture for her house, and like getting these
Speaker 1: two to try to pick a couch or a rug
Speaker 1: is like motherfucking bulink deep, Yo, I'm like, what about
Speaker 1: this one? What about this one? What about this one?
Speaker 1: You know, like I have had to I've had I
Speaker 1: can't tell you how my times I've been like, it's
Speaker 1: just a couch, you guys, it's just a couch. Like
Speaker 1: it you know you can return it, but it's also
Speaker 1: you can return it.
Speaker 3: I'm with I identify, I relate with your mom and
Speaker 3: your sister because it's not just a couch. No, You're
Speaker 3: gonna sit on it every day, and then you have
Speaker 3: to think about is it comfortable enough, how will it
Speaker 3: break in, how's it going to look in the room?
Speaker 2: Is it too big? Is it too small?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 3: Like that's where my brain goes and I can have
Speaker 3: paralysis sometimes, like.
Speaker 1: When we've moved and had to go answer to those questions.
Speaker 3: Yes, but sometimes there's multiple answers to them, Stephanie.
Speaker 2: Sometimes there's more than one right answer.
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's what I do in that case. This
Speaker 1: is what I did with my mother. Okay, I was like,
Speaker 1: write down the things that you want, right, like you
Speaker 1: want she wants the couch to be soft. She wants
Speaker 1: because like for me and I'm not a journaler, but
Speaker 1: when it comes to like this stuff that's like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I'm spinning out about some you know, they're spinning out
Speaker 1: about a couch, right yeah, Well, then just like write
Speaker 1: down what you actually want out of that couch. You
Speaker 1: wanted to not be too big for the space. You
Speaker 1: want it to be soft enough to be able to
Speaker 1: cuddle your granddaughter and read books. You wanted to look
Speaker 1: French country chic. You wanted to you know, be stain resistant.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is that you specifically need out of that couch,
Speaker 1: like the non negotiables, right yeah, the non negotiables. Like
Speaker 1: for you guys, it would be like, this couch has
Speaker 1: to be kid friendly because like we've got two it's
Speaker 1: in a dog, yeah right, yeah, so we've got to
Speaker 1: have something that feels like it'll survive that. And then
Speaker 1: once you have some of that stuff written down, then
Speaker 1: you get then you get into the nitty gritty of like, okay,
Speaker 1: well how much space do we have, let's measure it. Okay,
Speaker 1: well what's the return policy on this couch? Can we
Speaker 1: send it back if we hate it? You know, like okay,
Speaker 1: how much time do we have before we have to
Speaker 1: make a final decision? You know, like there's like I
Speaker 1: think that there's ways too, and also sometimes you just
Speaker 1: gotta bite the bullet, like bite the motherfucker bullets.
Speaker 2: Got to bite the motherfucker bullet. I know, I know,
Speaker 2: but you have to.
Speaker 1: You have to choose.
Speaker 3: Literally, this conversation is the reason why I have had
Speaker 3: the same furniture for like over a decade.
Speaker 1: Let me in there, Melissa leak there.
Speaker 3: Every time I think about switching something out, I get paralyzed.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: You know that like little ottoman in my living room.
Speaker 3: It's like too big and I want to put like
Speaker 3: a couch there the ottoman on the side.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's fantastic, it's fantastic. There's room for the
Speaker 1: art above on the wall. Yeah, you already have that
Speaker 1: big leather couch. You guys are now you're getting a
Speaker 1: lot of personal information about Melissa Rover Merrill's living room,
Speaker 1: but it's been.
Speaker 2: Featured on the IG.
Speaker 1: It's not a secret you have that great leather couch.
Speaker 1: It's a very hefty piece of furniture. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: need another couch in there. You don't need another couch,
Speaker 1: you don't. This is not an advert anything, But see
Speaker 1: what am I overthinking? You're a commercial for Waiver.
Speaker 3: My own overthinking about my living room has a spiral,
Speaker 3: does into a conversation about all the living room furniture
Speaker 3: and what are the problems about it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's how direct I am about it. You are,
Speaker 1: You're so concisive, do it? I am? I am about
Speaker 1: that stuff.
Speaker 3: I think that there is something about being decisive making
Speaker 3: choices that for me can help with overthinking and especially
Speaker 3: like the overanalyzing thing I was thinking this morning, particularly
Speaker 3: about when I started directing and oh yeah, that first
Speaker 3: that episode on Brooklyn where I first started directing. First
Speaker 3: couple times I would spiral so much because I was
Speaker 3: overloaded with like the choices of like how I could
Speaker 3: do the scene, you know, Like I would kind of
Speaker 3: figure out the blocking pretty quickly, because I think that
Speaker 3: part comes easier to actors. But then I would I
Speaker 3: would be like, well, but what if they're I think
Speaker 3: because also I was insecure about you know, because I
Speaker 3: was just starting out and I was just learning. So
Speaker 3: then I think part of the overanalyzing was like what
Speaker 3: if there's a better way to block this, or what
Speaker 3: if there's like a thing I'm not thinking of that
Speaker 3: I could do with the camera to highlight a joke,
Speaker 3: and I would just spiral into all these possible routes
Speaker 3: I could go. And then I realized at a certain
Speaker 3: point that I was just like self sabotaging, and I
Speaker 3: also wasn't getting any.
Speaker 2: Work done, because like three hours would go.
Speaker 3: By and I'd be like, oh shit, I'm still on
Speaker 3: this one scene and.
Speaker 2: I have thirty more at a block.
Speaker 3: And then it was this moment of just being like,
Speaker 3: I just have to make a decision. I just have
Speaker 3: to pick a thing, commit to that, make the plan,
Speaker 3: do the thing, and I can come back to it later.
Speaker 3: If I at three in the morning come up with
Speaker 3: a better idea, I can write it down on my
Speaker 3: phone real quick, which that has happened.
Speaker 1: I have woken up in the middle of the night
Speaker 1: and been like, yeah, this is what I should do
Speaker 1: with the camera. That's a gonna deal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I grab my phone and I like
Speaker 3: write it down really quick and like go back to sleep.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's it's And I think I have over
Speaker 3: the years trained myself where I feel like people sometimes
Speaker 3: will comment about how decisive I can be, and part
Speaker 3: of it is like a little bit of training of
Speaker 3: just like not if I know, if I think about
Speaker 3: it for more than five minutes, I'm gonna I might
Speaker 3: go into a spiral. And so I'm gonna cut myself
Speaker 3: off before I even go into the spiral and just
Speaker 3: make the goddamn decision and commit to it that's really good,
Speaker 3: and say this is what I'm doing, it's really good,
Speaker 3: and move on. That's a really good tip for a
Speaker 3: real light Like that's an application that we can use
Speaker 3: in real life, right, like, because you can actually set
Speaker 3: a timer for yourself, like a brain timer or an
Speaker 3: actual phone timer and be like, I'm gonna think about
Speaker 3: this for ten minutes, and if I don't have a decision,
Speaker 3: then I'm just gonna like do something like something pick
Speaker 3: just pick the first Yeah, even if I don't like it,
Speaker 3: pick something, Just pick something. And then oftentimes, like when
Speaker 3: you let go and you move on from that decision,
Speaker 3: sometimes there is a better answer that comes, like naturally,
Speaker 3: I think organically, like yeah, in a in a random moment,
Speaker 3: you go, oh, that's what it was, but like you don't,
Speaker 3: I don't getting dressed and putting on the wrong shoe,
Speaker 3: me getting dressed and being like and then I'm like
Speaker 3: I have.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, just get dressed, put it on. And
Speaker 1: then I put it on, I'm like, oh no, it's
Speaker 1: not the shoe at all. It's that shoe.
Speaker 2: It's that shoe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it happens to me. Yeah, I know. I do
Speaker 1: try to give myself a timer about getting dressed, but
Speaker 1: it rarely happens. It's not. But this isn't overthinking for me.
Speaker 1: This is like a joy. I really enjoy right dressed
Speaker 1: and like putting stuff together. Although it doesn't look like it.
Speaker 1: You guys, I'm usually in jeans and a T shirt.
Speaker 2: It's fine.
Speaker 3: I Getting dressed for me is a similar process without
Speaker 3: the joy.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's shocking to me. Doesn't it shocking
Speaker 1: to learn things about like people? I mean, I know
Speaker 1: that about you, but it's also just like why why?
Speaker 1: Why is oh my god?
Speaker 3: But always I've always, for some reason, getting dressed has
Speaker 3: always like given me some level of anxiety. It's gotten
Speaker 3: better over the years, and I feel like I've got
Speaker 3: better at it and I've let go of a lot
Speaker 3: of but oh my god, so many mornings before school
Speaker 3: in tears, just be like I don't know what to
Speaker 3: just overcome with the anxiety.
Speaker 2: Of like what to.
Speaker 1: Wear that day because you're afraid of what people were
Speaker 1: thinking of you.
Speaker 3: I think, so people are gonna Yeah, I was like
Speaker 3: really insecure and just yeah, like I don't know, I
Speaker 3: was a very anxious teenager.
Speaker 1: Do you guys hear that though? Like, whoever's listening to this,
Speaker 1: this is one of the most beautiful people in the world,
Speaker 1: and she's saying she's insecure. So like, if you feel insecure,
Speaker 1: you just have to remember that, Like most of the time,
Speaker 1: it's just your brain feeding you absolutely bullshit, absolutely sit
Speaker 1: to try to protect you, you know, yeah, to try
Speaker 1: to protect you. But that's what my brain does, like
Speaker 1: with overthinking, Like I don't I do the future negative.
Speaker 1: My friend Lena my life Lena. My friend Lena calls
Speaker 1: it negative future fantasy, So like my imagination goes and
Speaker 1: goes to what could happen in the future, which is
Speaker 1: gnarly and awful, and that's where I overthink. I go,
Speaker 1: it's going to be bad. I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: good at it. I'm you know, it's true about you.
Speaker 1: I'm remembering some freakouts you had during the strike. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to work again, Yes, is it?
Speaker 1: I had momentum, and now that's it, or industry collapse,
Speaker 1: there's going to be non l Ai. We're going to
Speaker 1: have to become some other kind of like maybe I'll
Speaker 1: be a postal worker, which you know, would very cool job,
Speaker 1: but it's.
Speaker 3: Not to those who are listening. And she's not even embellishing.
Speaker 3: Like these were the conversations we were having during the strike,
Speaker 3: and I was like, I think it's going.
Speaker 1: To be okay, And then like I start thinking, like
Speaker 1: my family depends on me, like my mom and my history,
Speaker 1: Like I just have like so many people that are
Speaker 1: depending on me, and like what if I can't provide
Speaker 1: and what if there's an earthquake and what if we
Speaker 1: don't have insurance and what if this? And what if that?
Speaker 1: And what if my kid hates me when she grows
Speaker 1: up constantly?
Speaker 2: Well that's every parent.
Speaker 1: To spin out, But do you think about it at
Speaker 1: three in the morning when you wake up to go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom and yeah, for three hours, I do, okay,
Speaker 1: Well maybe I'm not alone.
Speaker 3: Then oh yeah, three in the morning, what if what
Speaker 3: if I die young?
Speaker 1: Like oh yeah, it's the worst.
Speaker 3: Three in the morning. Overthinking is the worst. So that's
Speaker 3: when it happens to me. Yeah, most of the.
Speaker 1: Time when it happens to me, four four better.
Speaker 2: And then how do you get out of it?
Speaker 1: Do you just stay a week or do you I
Speaker 1: don't know what I try to do, Okay, So I
Speaker 1: have some practical tips that my therapist gave me, which
Speaker 1: is like get up out of bed and get up
Speaker 1: out of bed. Don't pick up your phone. Yeah, get
Speaker 1: up out of bed, like try to sleep for like
Speaker 1: a few minutes, right, Like, but if your brain's really going,
Speaker 1: get up out of bed, go to the living room
Speaker 1: or go to another room and get something to read
Speaker 1: that's not like that great. So like you can't be
Speaker 1: reading like, you know, a court of whatever. You can't
Speaker 1: be like reading your a guitar books, you know, like
Speaker 1: if you don't know what that is, gulay alone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't don't be picking up your favorite thriller. Don't and
Speaker 1: pick up some kind of like something kind of boring
Speaker 1: to read, Like, you know, I don't know what you
Speaker 1: have in your house. It's boring, Like maybe it's a
Speaker 1: book that you've been trying to read for a while,
Speaker 1: it's not that exciting, or like look at a magazine
Speaker 1: or do something that's like sort of mellow's quiet, and
Speaker 1: then try to get your brain going on that and
Speaker 1: then try to go back to sleep. But the minute
Speaker 1: that you pick up your phone, it's over. It's literally
Speaker 1: what my therapist said to me. So yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I trust her, don't pick up the phone. And then
Speaker 1: the other thing that I think about a lot is
Speaker 1: like is that true? Like hmm, meaning that you know,
Speaker 1: for example, when I think about Ras hating me in
Speaker 1: the future, like, is that true? Well, I don't know,
Speaker 1: because it hasn't happened yet, So like I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And no amount of me spinning out about it in
Speaker 1: this moment at three o'clock in the morning is going
Speaker 1: to give me the answer that's going to either avoid
Speaker 1: it or fix it because none of it has happened yet.
Speaker 1: So like that's the thing that I go back to
Speaker 1: a lot. I'm like, is that true? Is our Is
Speaker 1: our industry completely over? Is it? You know?
Speaker 2: All? AI?
Speaker 1: Like? Is that true? I don't know? So I have
Speaker 1: to keep moving forward mentally in a place of like
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true. I could try to
Speaker 1: find out like whatever I can find out, but I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's true. So because I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's true, why am I sitting here spinning out
Speaker 1: on it? You know, there's this thing called what is
Speaker 1: it called short term temporal distancing, like, which is like
Speaker 1: your brain kind of like puts it away, Like you
Speaker 1: just kind of like.
Speaker 3: Put it in a little baggy and tie it up,
Speaker 3: put it in a little bit in a little baggy,
Speaker 3: tie up the baggie, and put it on the way
Speaker 3: to the back of your brain closet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just because you don't need to like dig in
Speaker 1: there right now. No, that's the thing that I kind
Speaker 1: of like have to. That's the other thing about overthinking
Speaker 1: is that sometimes what happens is you overthink the overthinking
Speaker 1: and you go like why can't I?
Speaker 2: Why can't Then you start judging it.
Speaker 1: Why can't I? And then you judge it And that's
Speaker 1: the other thing that gets you really like spinning out too,
Speaker 1: which I think is what Jay was getting out in
Speaker 1: that letter, which is like, then I I don't know
Speaker 1: how to stop, which is like it's okay that you
Speaker 1: don't know how to stop. You're not you don't like
Speaker 1: the problem is the brain. We own it. It's ours, right,
Speaker 1: but we're also not like the expert on it. We
Speaker 1: think we're the expert because it's our brain, but like
Speaker 1: we're not.
Speaker 2: We're not.
Speaker 1: We're just not. And I think people would go to
Speaker 1: school for a long long time to figure it out,
Speaker 1: and like even they don't know.
Speaker 3: I think it's yeah, but I like this idea of
Speaker 3: it's essentially how do you pull yourself back into the present? Right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: because like what you were saying, and I can also
Speaker 3: the times that I've talked to Lena about my anxiety.
Speaker 3: I remember one time she told me that anxiety is
Speaker 3: fear of the unknown, and that really resonated with me because.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, I'm just a lot of.
Speaker 3: What I'm tripping about is stuff that I can't control.
Speaker 3: So it's like this idea that you're talking about of
Speaker 3: like how do we pull ourselves like just back into
Speaker 3: the present, like whatever that is, whether it's movement or
Speaker 3: journaling or reading something boring or yeah, it's like how
Speaker 3: do we just get out of our heads and just
Speaker 3: put all that shit in a little bag, put it
Speaker 3: to the side, get back to the present and be like,
Speaker 3: all right, what's in front of me?
Speaker 1: What can I control? And what can I like do yeah. Well.
Speaker 1: The other thing I do sometimes is like I go, well,
Speaker 1: if I don't think about this right now, then like
Speaker 1: when am I going to think about it? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: really bad. That's a bad movie.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to schedule some time later to stress
Speaker 3: out about this.
Speaker 1: And like, honestly, yes you can, Like you can actually,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not a journaler, but I am like
Speaker 1: a list maker, and I will straight up like write down,
Speaker 1: like think about how you're going to like you know xyz,
Speaker 1: like how do I whatever whatever it is the thing
Speaker 1: that you're stressing about, Like how am I going to
Speaker 1: blah afford to make this like car payment or to
Speaker 1: happen for my family, like pay off the student loan.
Speaker 1: It's like you don't have to think about that at
Speaker 1: three in the morning. You don't need to, Like you
Speaker 1: can write it down on a piece of paper and
Speaker 1: then like schedule some time for yourself this week, like okay, Wednesday,
Speaker 1: I have a couple hours to kind of brainstorm about
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do about this, Like you don't have
Speaker 1: to think about it right in that second, which is
Speaker 1: like sometimes I see Brad do that, Like sometimes he'll
Speaker 1: be like I have to think about it right now.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you don't. Can set that aside and
Speaker 1: like wait for a second, you know, you can put
Speaker 1: it on the counter and like take care of it
Speaker 1: in a minute, try not to forget about it, because
Speaker 1: I think that's the fear, right. It is like, well
Speaker 1: then don't take care of this in the second. Like
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be able to figure it out.
Speaker 1: It's like, well are you sure? Like is that true?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: You know? Is that true? I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: think it is more better.
Speaker 3: I feel like we got some good takeaways and tips
Speaker 3: today with overthinking, but I also feel sweaty and stressed
Speaker 3: out just talking about thinking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a big it's a big thought. Yeah, overthinking
Speaker 1: is a really big thing. It's not just one thing
Speaker 1: or another, and it's like connected to all these other
Speaker 1: little bits. It's very complex, the future anxiety.
Speaker 3: And we didn't even get into like freaking overthinking about
Speaker 3: some stupid shit you said ten years ago, because I'll
Speaker 3: do that too.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I went to an event the other
Speaker 1: night just say this really quick, and I was like
Speaker 1: we were talking about Celine Dion and someone was saying they
Speaker 1: are going to watch the documentary because they really want to,
Speaker 1: you know, they feel so bad for her about like
Speaker 1: what you know she's going through right now, or like
Speaker 1: physical problems, and you know, she's worked her whole life
Speaker 1: to be able to sing and now she can't. Really
Speaker 1: she's not gonna be able to do the thing that
Speaker 1: she's wanted to do forever. And I like made some
Speaker 1: I don't even remember what I said. I made some
Speaker 1: like dumb joke, you know, and listen, we shouldn't joke
Speaker 1: about people's health problems, and I don't think I did
Speaker 1: in that moment, but I made some dumb joke and
Speaker 1: everybody in this circle just stared at me, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh no. And but at an event and
Speaker 1: a party, and it was like kind of loud, so
Speaker 1: like I don't know if they were waiting for me
Speaker 1: to say something. I don't know, but I was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, they hate me, like all of these women
Speaker 1: hate me. And then you know, something happened, like some
Speaker 1: part of the event started moving along and like there
Speaker 1: was like a performance or something, so I didn't have
Speaker 1: time to be like that's not what I meant, or
Speaker 1: we take that the wrong way. And that was it.
Speaker 1: That was just the end of that conversation, multiple writers
Speaker 1: who I think are really cool, like you know, people
Speaker 1: that I'd love to work with, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, they that's it they hate me for that's no.
Speaker 1: They might, they might, they might, but like what you know,
Speaker 1: part of me is like, oh no, And then another
Speaker 1: part of me is like, you know, there's plenty efficiency
Speaker 1: Like those writers don't.
Speaker 4: Like me, then maybe some others will. You know, there's
Speaker 4: so many writers. But first yeah, but secondly, I bet
Speaker 4: that it was not as bad as you think or
Speaker 4: it might have been. But also I have had those moments.
Speaker 1: Man oh man Celine Dion, beloved iconic singer, and I
Speaker 1: said some dumb shit and everyone was like, excuse him, wah?
Speaker 3: I mean, do you want me to share a really
Speaker 3: embarrassing one that will make you feel better?
Speaker 1: Sure? I love that.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say the name.
Speaker 3: But after we got picked up by NBC rescued, which
Speaker 3: was like that whole for those who don't know, our
Speaker 3: show got canceled and like a day later got rescued
Speaker 3: by NBC and it was this big whirlwind and we
Speaker 3: got flown to New York.
Speaker 2: I was already there, but anyway, and it was like
Speaker 2: all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Two days later, we were like at the upfronts and
Speaker 3: we were at this and the day before we were
Speaker 3: at this like NBC party, and I was so still
Speaker 3: in the whirlwind of everything that had happened, like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, I can't believe we're here. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: I can't believe the show got saved. I can't believe
Speaker 3: we got like my brain was so just overloaded with things.
Speaker 3: And also we were at this NBC party. We're, you know,
Speaker 3: learning new executives. We didn't know his name, blah blah blah. Anyway,
Speaker 3: and this actor who's famous, uh was talking to Andy,
Speaker 3: I think, and I went up and we said hello,
Speaker 3: and then I said something like, oh, we gotta have
Speaker 3: you on the show. And that person had already been
Speaker 3: on the show in a couple episodes.
Speaker 2: I work with them that much.
Speaker 1: And I don't know why it just like flew out
Speaker 1: of my mouth. Oh, because I.
Speaker 2: Don't think I was present.
Speaker 1: I was just like and then he was like, you
Speaker 1: were on another planet. He was like, yeah, I have,
Speaker 1: and I was like, right, I was just kidding.
Speaker 2: Oh, it was so bad.
Speaker 1: No, he wasn't.
Speaker 3: He was a good sport about it, but he definitely
Speaker 3: thinks I'm a fucking idiot. And I just remember walking
Speaker 3: away with Andy and going, oh my god, did you
Speaker 3: hear what I said?
Speaker 2: And he said, yeah, Bud, I.
Speaker 1: Did I heard it? Oh God, yeah, yeah, Budd. I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry.
Speaker 3: I just started sweating more thinking about and I it's bad.
Speaker 3: Well sometimes just randomly think of that memory and dwell
Speaker 3: on it. So really, yeah, thanks, that does make me
Speaker 3: feel better.
Speaker 1: There you go. Not alone, I'm not alone. I am
Speaker 1: here with you. Wow. Geez, Louise girl, I'm literally sweating.
Speaker 1: I'm sweating so bad just telling that story. Oh listen,
Speaker 1: if you think that you have a problem overthinking, don't
Speaker 1: overthink it. You're not alone. Yeah, exactly, so alone. You
Speaker 1: know we're all doing our best. Okay, So my big
Speaker 1: takeaway today is that I'm not alone. I'm great at
Speaker 1: picking furniture, and uh, there's a lot of fish in
Speaker 1: the sy what about you?
Speaker 3: My big takeaway is I am not good at picking furniture,
Speaker 3: and next time I need to, I'm gonna call Stephanie
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna stick to my practice of being decisive
Speaker 3: because that really helps my overanalyzing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and try to be present.
Speaker 3: When I feel like I'm getting lost in my head,
Speaker 3: try to bring myself back to the present moment.
Speaker 1: I like your five minute tip. I think I am
Speaker 1: going to apply that. Sometimes I'm gonna be like, I
Speaker 1: can't make a decision about this thing. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: give myself a little timer, and then when it's over,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna choose, just gonna choose and move on
Speaker 1: to the next thing. Yeah, yeah, mm hmm. I feel
Speaker 1: a little more better about this. I also feel a
Speaker 1: little more better. I'm sweating profusely, but I feel a
Speaker 1: little more better. Don't ever think you're sweat It's fine,
Speaker 1: Thanks girl. Yeah, Okay, see you guys next time. Remember
Speaker 1: if you think of a topic that you want us
Speaker 1: to cover, please don't ever think it. Oh my god, Stephanie,
Speaker 1: stop making that a joke and send it to us. Okay,
Speaker 1: bye bye. Do you have something you'd like to be
Speaker 1: more better at that you want us to talk about
Speaker 1: in a future episode?
Speaker 3: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 3: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at More Better Pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com and include a voice note If
Speaker 1: you want to be featured on the pod Ooh More
Speaker 1: Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from w V
Speaker 1: Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikultura podcast network, hosted by me, Steffanie
Speaker 1: Viatriz and Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid,
Speaker 1: Leo Clem, and Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are
Speaker 1: Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at w V Sound. This
Speaker 1: episode was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean
Speaker 1: Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and Hello Boy.
Speaker 3: Our cover art is by Vincent Remy's and photography by
Speaker 3: David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever.
Speaker 1: You listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 3: See you next week, Sugas Bye,