Speaker 1: Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Listen if you think you
Speaker 1: just need, you know, a little wisdom, some encouragement, this
Speaker 1: is the episode for you to listen to. We're gonna
Speaker 1: talk about all things trust, the difference between living and
Speaker 1: just existing. I just felt the need to encourage some
Speaker 1: of the listeners out there. Y'all have been rocking with
Speaker 1: me now for three years, and I say it every episode.
Speaker 1: I don't take your listening and you're downloading the episodes
Speaker 1: for granted at all, Maybe tug on a friend and
Speaker 1: tell them, hey, this episode is for you. All right, y'all,
Speaker 1: we are really in the month of May. It really
Speaker 1: is the fifth month of twenty twenty three, y'all. This
Speaker 1: month is moving, This year is moving, and I hope
Speaker 1: you're moving with it. I began to think about the
Speaker 1: difference between living and existing and just trying to gauge
Speaker 1: the areas that I've just been existing in and areas
Speaker 1: that I think I'm thriving in, thriving and living because
Speaker 1: life is going to always present a set of challenges,
Speaker 1: and my desire is for divine strategy and divine wisdom
Speaker 1: on how to navigate the obstacles and challenges that come
Speaker 1: my way, not only divine wisdom and strategies on how
Speaker 1: to overcome those obstacles. It's like, okay, also, Lord place
Speaker 1: divine help around me. But that is going to require trust,
Speaker 1: which I think I've said before, I haven't had an assistant. Ooh,
Speaker 1: I haven't had a real assistant in over ten years
Speaker 1: because of my lack of trust. And I've got to
Speaker 1: get over that. I've got to give people an opportunity
Speaker 1: not to prove themselves, because I wouldn't want anyone to
Speaker 1: work for me and think they have to perform for
Speaker 1: my trust. Now what do I mean perform? Well, let
Speaker 1: me do this to make sure that she no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no. I want you to be you. And I've
Speaker 1: been reading this book. It's a brand new book by
Speaker 1: doctor Henry Cloud called Trust. So y'all know doctor Henry
Speaker 1: Cloud is one of my favorite author of Safe People
Speaker 1: and Boundaries. He's got a few different versions of boundaries.
Speaker 1: He's got a boundaries and dating boundary. I mean just
Speaker 1: so many. He's the bomb, amazing great psychologists, but he
Speaker 1: talks to you in a practical way. He's from Louisiana,
Speaker 1: So he's got a definite down to earth approach. And
Speaker 1: the subtitle of his book Trust is called knowing when
Speaker 1: to give it, when to withhold it, how to earn it,
Speaker 1: and how to fix it when it gets broken. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to dive into some of those excerpts later.
Speaker 1: But I was trying to just figure out areas that
Speaker 1: I'm thriving in and then areas where, man, have I
Speaker 1: just gotten so numb in certain areas, And so I
Speaker 1: just felt led to encourage some folks out there who
Speaker 1: are kind of walking through life a little numb, because
Speaker 1: that's how you've chosen to protect yourself. You know, like
Speaker 1: when you go to the doctor and they have to
Speaker 1: give you a shot, or you're getting some dental work
Speaker 1: done and you gotta get a shot so they'll numb
Speaker 1: the area, and it's kind of like for your protection,
Speaker 1: so that you don't feel the pain. I will never
Speaker 1: forget a couple of years ago, I had a dream
Speaker 1: that I was being rolled into a surgical room and
Speaker 1: I was getting surgery or they were gonna cut a
Speaker 1: leg or something, but they did not want to give
Speaker 1: me anesthesia, And I remember I kept screaming, I don't
Speaker 1: want to feel the pain. I don't want to feel
Speaker 1: the pain. I don't want to feel the pain. Like bro,
Speaker 1: give me medicine, give me anesthesia. Numb the area. So, yes,
Speaker 1: numbing the area that's painful before you put a needle
Speaker 1: lined or do surgery or whatever. Yeah, that's good. It
Speaker 1: is a form of protection so that we're not terrorized
Speaker 1: by pain later, so that we're not terrorized to go
Speaker 1: to the doctor, you know, for surgery or to get
Speaker 1: you know, a shot or medicine, and you got to
Speaker 1: get an IV. I get it, I get it. But
Speaker 1: there are some times where you're gonna actually have to
Speaker 1: feel the pain in order to heal the pain. I
Speaker 1: cannot heal something that I don't feel. You cannot walk
Speaker 1: around numb your entire life, because to me, when you're
Speaker 1: walking around numb, that means there's some areas of healing.
Speaker 1: And I think we lessen the quality of life when
Speaker 1: we walk around just so numb and we just want
Speaker 1: to be so disassociated. And actually disassociation is actually a
Speaker 1: trauma response. It's what is happening to you as you
Speaker 1: are being abused or in an unsafe environment. You literally
Speaker 1: mentally disassociate yourself. It's like out of body. I don't
Speaker 1: want to see it. I don't want to hear it,
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel it. I remember back in
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen, I had a moment of disassociation, and I
Speaker 1: don't remember the phone calls made to me. I don't
Speaker 1: remember anything that I even did in that period of time.
Speaker 1: So you can chuckst It could be disassociation, or it
Speaker 1: could even be a psychotic break, like you're so traumatized,
Speaker 1: you just now. This is different to me blacking out
Speaker 1: do harm to somebody else. I'm talking about what happens
Speaker 1: when something has been done to you, or you've gotten
Speaker 1: some news that you just couldn't handle. Have you ever
Speaker 1: seen a love doing or maybe yourself when you got
Speaker 1: news that someone passed away and it was unexpected and
Speaker 1: you you pass out, You black out, You don't remember anything, right.
Speaker 1: But then there's sometimes where we are aware of the moment,
Speaker 1: but for the future, we just do things in our
Speaker 1: life where we're like, you know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: feel the pain. It's because you don't want to feel
Speaker 1: the pain. You won't go over Grandma's house anymore because
Speaker 1: y'all are so close, and when she passed away, you
Speaker 1: just can't. You don't want to feel the pain. You
Speaker 1: don't want to. You don't want to smell fried chicken
Speaker 1: no more because it reminds you of your best friend,
Speaker 1: because y'all used to smoke weed and eat chicken wings
Speaker 1: when you had the munchies, and now they're no longer here,
Speaker 1: or you're even someone who's actually maybe y'all broke up
Speaker 1: and you just want to disassociate yourself from the memories,
Speaker 1: or you want to disassociate yourself from the pain that
Speaker 1: they caused you. I get it, but we got to
Speaker 1: heal that pain so we can be able to feel
Speaker 1: the wind on our cheeks, the sun beat on our face.
Speaker 1: You want to be able to feel the love that
Speaker 1: someone else is trying to give you, but because you're
Speaker 1: so blocked off, you can't feel love. And I know
Speaker 1: you ain't given love. So I just wanted to speak
Speaker 1: into that, you know, and sometimes in order to feel
Speaker 1: the pain to heal it, I would encourage you to
Speaker 1: unpack that pain with someone, a professional or someone that
Speaker 1: you deem safe. Well, what do you mean, Michelle, So
Speaker 1: if you want to unpack your pain with someone and
Speaker 1: process your pain with a friend. Some steps are asked
Speaker 1: friend and be like, hey, I want to process something
Speaker 1: with you, something that's just been weighing me down. But
Speaker 1: before I unload on you emotionally, are you in a
Speaker 1: place to help me right now? Now? You're a safe person,
Speaker 1: And if that person is a safe person, you are
Speaker 1: giving them the choice to say, of course, let's talk.
Speaker 1: Or that person might say, hey, let me put my
Speaker 1: kids to bed right quick, let me feed the dogs,
Speaker 1: let me make sure my partner has eaten, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna call you back in an hour. Or that person
Speaker 1: might say I want to give y'all permission to even
Speaker 1: tell that person like, man, I'm in a place right
Speaker 1: now that I can listen, But I just want to
Speaker 1: let you know I'm in a place right now where
Speaker 1: you might not want to hear my advice on a
Speaker 1: situation because I'm going through it too. So I'm just
Speaker 1: giving you variations of how to ask somebody and and
Speaker 1: what a safe person's response can be. An unsafe person
Speaker 1: will be like, man, I hope we ain't finna talk
Speaker 1: about so and so because I told you not to
Speaker 1: date them in the first place. See if you didn't
Speaker 1: date them. You wouldn't be heartbroken if man I told
Speaker 1: you not to move back to so and so. That's
Speaker 1: unsafe a safe person. I've already given you a couple
Speaker 1: variations of how a safe person will respond if you
Speaker 1: decide you want to unpack the pain or unpacked the
Speaker 1: pain with a professional counselor. But I really want you
Speaker 1: to get that weight off of you. I feel like
Speaker 1: the pain you carry is weight. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: imagine if you're trying to walk on a beautiful beach
Speaker 1: and you got buckets in your hand because you're supposed
Speaker 1: to be collecting sand, but it's nothing but stones, and
Speaker 1: each stone represents pain you're carrying. Each stone represents betrayal, disappointment, regret,
Speaker 1: and it seems like it's light to carry at first,
Speaker 1: but the longer you keep walking, it gets heavier. So
Speaker 1: I want you to be able to walk through life
Speaker 1: and unburden yourselves. I want you to lighten your load.
Speaker 1: To my friends that are listening, who listen every week,
Speaker 1: I want to call your name individually, but baby girl,
Speaker 1: unload that pain. That pain is not your identity. It
Speaker 1: is not who you are. The pain that someone inflicted
Speaker 1: on you is not who you are. The disappointment you feel,
Speaker 1: that's not your identity. You have nothing to do with that.
Speaker 1: But you are responsible for your healing. You cannot put
Speaker 1: your healing in the hands of the person that hurt
Speaker 1: you in the first place. Nine times out of ten
Speaker 1: they have moved on with their life. They probably don't
Speaker 1: even know that you hurt. They hurt you because they're
Speaker 1: so toxic, they're so used to living in dysfunction that
Speaker 1: they think it's normal. No, no, no, no, no, it
Speaker 1: is not normal. Just because you survive dysfunction, don't mean
Speaker 1: it's normal, all right. Surviving abuse, being abused is not normal, verbally, physically,
Speaker 1: in any kind of way. It's not cool, all right.
Speaker 1: So that will get you to a place of living
Speaker 1: and not just existing because you chose to numb yourself
Speaker 1: because of all the pain that you're in. And maybe
Speaker 1: maybe you're not the person in pain. Maybe you're in
Speaker 1: relationship with someone who is and it's affecting the quality
Speaker 1: of your relationships. And I'm not just talking about romantic relationships,
Speaker 1: just people. You friends with somebody, How do you cool it?
Speaker 1: They always come into the house down, They always negative
Speaker 1: that they're in pain. Help them, maybe initiate the conversation
Speaker 1: and be like, friend, it's been about four years. I
Speaker 1: don't know whether it's been a year of four years
Speaker 1: and we keep talking about the same thing, or I
Speaker 1: knowice like you just seem so irritable, and irritability is
Speaker 1: often mistake for anger when it's really depression, all right.
Speaker 1: So that person could just be depressed because they haven't
Speaker 1: had an outlet or a safe place to share you
Speaker 1: know what they've been going through, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: My pastor said something on Sunday. He said some people
Speaker 1: want attention, not intervention. So you gonna have those people
Speaker 1: in your life as well, but make sure it's not you,
Speaker 1: all right, And make sure that when a person is
Speaker 1: talking to you, you have permission to say I hear
Speaker 1: what you're saying, and thank you so much for sharing.
Speaker 1: Are you just wanting me to listen? Or do you
Speaker 1: want my advice? Or can I help you with a solution,
Speaker 1: especially if you have a track record of great solutions,
Speaker 1: Especially if you have a great track record like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take advice from somebody who got a life that
Speaker 1: I want to live. Well, I guess you can also
Speaker 1: listen to people who live a life you don't want
Speaker 1: to live because of bad choices that they made. You
Speaker 1: can look at them and be like, Okay, you a
Speaker 1: blueprint and you out of life that I don't want
Speaker 1: to live. But it's a possibility. Like I feel like
Speaker 1: I have the authority to speak on areas of healing depression, anxiety.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've walked through enough. I feel like
Speaker 1: I've overcome enough. I feel like I believe, I hope
Speaker 1: I've been a good witness to y'all about being resilient,
Speaker 1: getting that bounced back, you know, from situations that were
Speaker 1: meant to kill me, humiliate me, embarrass me, or make
Speaker 1: me just want to give up on life. Through the
Speaker 1: grace of God and y'all's prayers and support, oooh, I'm here.
Speaker 1: I'm here, and there are so many other people who've
Speaker 1: got a great track record of living this life that
Speaker 1: you can talk to. And so I really pray that,
Speaker 1: and I hope y'all allow me to say the word pray.
Speaker 1: My prayer is that you get surrounded with safe people
Speaker 1: and people you can trust. So, speaking of trust, I
Speaker 1: have been reading this book called Trust by doctor Henry Cloud. Again.
Speaker 1: The subtitle is Knowing when to give it, when to
Speaker 1: withhold it, how to earn it, and how to fix
Speaker 1: it when it gets broken. Y'all, we gotta trust. Have
Speaker 1: you ever heard people that say, I don't trust nobody,
Speaker 1: but you get on an airplane. You don't know the pilot,
Speaker 1: you don't know the flight attendance, but you on that plane.
Speaker 1: I don't trust nobody, but you get your food delivered.
Speaker 1: I don't trust nobody, but you drive a car hoping
Speaker 1: that everybody obeys the traffic signals and stop signs. Child,
Speaker 1: you ain't got that one person, so ask them if
Speaker 1: you don't trust nobody. You took the subway to work today,
Speaker 1: did you trust the conductor and that the train would
Speaker 1: not derail based on the people that are to ensure
Speaker 1: that the train stays on the rail. So you trust somebody?
Speaker 1: All right? Ain't that funny? So there are some things
Speaker 1: in the book where he says we can become better
Speaker 1: and better at knowing who is trustworthy and who is not,
Speaker 1: and we can get better at deciding when and with
Speaker 1: whom we will put ourselves at risk. Loving someone is
Speaker 1: a risk. Being in relationship with some is a risk.
Speaker 1: Chow some of your coworkers is a risk, but it
Speaker 1: is a risk that majority of the time you will
Speaker 1: find that it was a risk worth taking. There's a
Speaker 1: part in this book that says, possibly everyone reading this book,
Speaker 1: including me, has been victimized by a betrayal, small or
Speaker 1: large that still stings. We all have our stories of
Speaker 1: misplaced trust. We either missed warning signs and moved forward
Speaker 1: when we shouldn't have, or worse, the warning signs were
Speaker 1: not visible, y'all. I definitely moved forward on something when
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have. Before, I moved forward on doing a
Speaker 1: reality show when something in the pit of my stomach
Speaker 1: said do not do it, and we did it anyway,
Speaker 1: And I think we both did it because we were like, no,
Speaker 1: this is just the first time of doing something like this.
Speaker 1: We're just afraid. No, No, God was trying to protect.
Speaker 1: He was trying to protect so much in that season
Speaker 1: of my life, but I did not heed to that warning,
Speaker 1: missing warning signs. This book says everything about the situation
Speaker 1: looked good on the surface, and maybe it was, but
Speaker 1: we got burned. Anyway, when we look back, we say
Speaker 1: to ourselves, I just didn't see that coming, or how
Speaker 1: could they have done that to me? We were such
Speaker 1: good friends or lovers or partners. How could they have
Speaker 1: treated me that way? And sometimes it is not even
Speaker 1: an actual betrayal, but someone's honest inability to do what
Speaker 1: we need. We don't have good answers, but we do
Speaker 1: have scars. I promise you that you will never be
Speaker 1: betrayed or let down again after reading this book. Okay.
Speaker 1: One of the goals of the book is to equip
Speaker 1: you to know how to read between the lines of
Speaker 1: what someone tells you, tries to sell you, or promises you,
Speaker 1: and to be able to see what is trustworthy and
Speaker 1: what is not. Listen, I got to have him on
Speaker 1: the podcast. But this blessed me so much and blessed
Speaker 1: me so much, especially when you are in a situation
Speaker 1: where you're like, Okay, I don't trust, but I want
Speaker 1: to trust. This book even says that trust muscles can
Speaker 1: be repaired. Isn't that encouraging because maybe you were the
Speaker 1: person that inflicted pain, right, and so you are working
Speaker 1: to establish trust in a relationship again, And so I
Speaker 1: was encouraged. You know when he said in the book
Speaker 1: that trust muscles can be repaired. You gotta heal first,
Speaker 1: get past the anger and need for revenge and forgive,
Speaker 1: ponder and determine its reconciliation possible, and then a new
Speaker 1: track record being built. So while you're building those trust muscles,
Speaker 1: somebody should be able to look back and say, ma'am,
Speaker 1: you really hurt me, or you really disappointed me, but
Speaker 1: your track record these past six months or this past
Speaker 1: year has helped me rebuild my trust in you. Listen,
Speaker 1: you ain't perfect. I'm not perfect. I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: need someone to trust me again. And I have been
Speaker 1: in that place where I needed someone to trust me again.
Speaker 1: And I love I love love, love, love, love love.
Speaker 1: The five essentials of trust, He says that you can
Speaker 1: trust someone when you feel your needs or understood, felt
Speaker 1: and cared about. So that's understanding. The second essential love
Speaker 1: trust is motive, when he says you can trust someone
Speaker 1: when you feel their motive is for you, not just
Speaker 1: for themselves. I have been in situations where I've been
Speaker 1: asked to do something and I be like, now, how
Speaker 1: that's gonna work out for me? What's in it for me? Now?
Speaker 1: There are moments where you do do things for people
Speaker 1: because you're like, God's been so good to me. I
Speaker 1: don't need nothing out of this. I'm gonna show up,
Speaker 1: I'm there, let's go. But then there are some people
Speaker 1: you're like, they kind of got an opportuneist spirit on them, right,
Speaker 1: So you can trust someone when you feel that even
Speaker 1: when they ask of you to do something, you still
Speaker 1: feel like their motive is for you and not just
Speaker 1: for themselves. A thirty central love trust is ability. You
Speaker 1: can trust someone when you feel they have the ability
Speaker 1: or capacity to guard and deliver results for what you
Speaker 1: have and trusted to them. Okay, some of y'all are
Speaker 1: in partnership with a friend loved one, y'all are opening
Speaker 1: up a business. Uh, y'all decided, Hey, we gonna do
Speaker 1: a food truck, or we gonna have a dance group,
Speaker 1: or we're gonna design clothes together. And they keep missing deadlines,
Speaker 1: your trust is eventually waning or they barely meet the deadline,
Speaker 1: and you're like, I don't trust that you're gonna deliver.
Speaker 1: I don't trust that you can do this work. So
Speaker 1: another essential trust is the ability do they have the
Speaker 1: ability to deliver results for what you've been trusted them
Speaker 1: to do. Maybe you have a company and you've hired
Speaker 1: someone and they keep dropping the ball. The amazing thing
Speaker 1: about this book is just not trust as it relates
Speaker 1: to romantic partners or family. It's also for leaders. It's
Speaker 1: also for business owners. It's you know, you're like, Yo,
Speaker 1: I got employees and do what keep dropping the ball?
Speaker 1: I'm starting to lose trust in them. Baby, Listen, they
Speaker 1: gotta know honey, you lose and trust in them and
Speaker 1: they finna lose what they say you about to lose
Speaker 1: your job. Uh. The fourthy center of trust is character.
Speaker 1: You can trust someone who has the character or personal
Speaker 1: makeup needed for what you and trust them with Trusting
Speaker 1: someone who has the character. Ooh. Character is so important
Speaker 1: because it's not it's not what you do really on stage,
Speaker 1: it's how are you off the stage? It's not what
Speaker 1: you do in front of everybody? What are you like
Speaker 1: behind closed doors? Hey? I know for me, that's something
Speaker 1: you gotta work on every day because I don't want
Speaker 1: to be the person where it's like the world adores me,
Speaker 1: but my kids one day or my husband one day
Speaker 1: is live. But she was a witch at home? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, no, no, no, you will
Speaker 1: all of that to match. No, it's all gotta make sense.
Speaker 1: Character the fifth essentials of trust is you can trust
Speaker 1: someone who has a track record of performing in the
Speaker 1: ways you need them to perform. Track record, all right,
Speaker 1: you can trust someone who has the track record of
Speaker 1: just showing up when people say they're gonna do something.
Speaker 1: They're there, you're getting ready to move, and someone says, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm a beat, I may help you pack it all up,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna let you use my truck and we
Speaker 1: and then they don't show up, they don't call, and
Speaker 1: they've done this like twice on you. Mm hmmm. Y'all.
Speaker 1: It blessed me so much. And the five essentials of
Speaker 1: trust again, those five essentials are under standing, motive, ability, character,
Speaker 1: and track record. But y'all, it made me ask two
Speaker 1: questions of myself. It made me ask who is in
Speaker 1: my life that has these five essentials? Who is in
Speaker 1: your life that has those five essentials? And then the
Speaker 1: other question I had was do I carry these essentials
Speaker 1: in me? Can people say that I have those five
Speaker 1: essentials of trust? I've been big on talking about setting boundaries, right,
Speaker 1: but like, how many people have maybe had to set
Speaker 1: a boundary with me? Say I'm setting boundaries? I don't
Speaker 1: trust nobody. Well, do people trust you? Do you carry
Speaker 1: those five trust essentials? Can people say your motive is pure?
Speaker 1: Can people say that you show up? Can people say
Speaker 1: you know what so and so is a hot mess?
Speaker 1: But they are consistent, they got my back. I'm so grateful.
Speaker 1: I know I got at least one hand of people
Speaker 1: that I can name right now that are consistent. We
Speaker 1: might not talk every day every week, but they are
Speaker 1: consistent in showing up. They are consistent in how they
Speaker 1: move towards me and with me. I'm thankful, I'm super thankful.
Speaker 1: But I always got to make sure that that level
Speaker 1: of trust and how I need people to show up
Speaker 1: for me. I gotta make sure that I show up
Speaker 1: for them and don't just show up when it's convenient.
Speaker 1: Isn't it something where you're like, you know, I got
Speaker 1: a call off work, but I'm gonna be there for
Speaker 1: you in your time need. I'm gonna take a vacation
Speaker 1: day and I'm gonna be there. Somebody might lost their parents,
Speaker 1: lost a loved one, or lost a job and they're
Speaker 1: going through depression. Can you show up for somebody? Can
Speaker 1: you instacart them some some groceries? Child? I don't never
Speaker 1: forget during COVID, if folks that I knew were sick,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, well, at least let me send you
Speaker 1: some ginger rell because I ain't coming to your house.
Speaker 1: But let me send you this good old chicken soup
Speaker 1: and some turmeric and ginger probiotic. You know them little
Speaker 1: drinks that you can just shoot them and just swallow
Speaker 1: them in like two seconds. Yeah, that's me. That's me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna send you some groceries in a minute, now,
Speaker 1: that's me. But as you get older, you really value
Speaker 1: and cherish relationships more than ever before. I really value
Speaker 1: and cherish the relationships that I have, and I certainly
Speaker 1: lead value you. I really do. I certainly value the
Speaker 1: relationships that I have with you, guys, and truly truly thankful.
Speaker 1: So let me know. When it comes to trust, it's
Speaker 1: not a game. It says to trust is human. When
Speaker 1: we can't trust, we lose a lot of the human experience.
Speaker 1: He's a psychologist, so he was saying, how you might
Speaker 1: have heard of mirror neurons. They are another example of
Speaker 1: how we are wired for trust. In the most basic terms,
Speaker 1: neurons function as communicators in the body. They receive and
Speaker 1: transmit information and stimuli. I mean he's going really, really,
Speaker 1: really really into it, he says. The brain of the
Speaker 1: person we are talking to forms a connection with us
Speaker 1: and mirrors our feelings and expressions in a deep natural
Speaker 1: bond that call this is the two of us to
Speaker 1: connect even more deeply. Love, growth, faith, physical health, economic success,
Speaker 1: and more. These all run on trust, and without trust,
Speaker 1: things stagnate or even die. When we realize that trust
Speaker 1: is not optional, that all of human life is designed
Speaker 1: and wired to only work when we trust, we begin
Speaker 1: to treat trust with the utmost respect. Listen, trust, It
Speaker 1: sounds like to me, trust is a gift and we
Speaker 1: just got to know when to give it, when to
Speaker 1: withhold it. Trust is a gift, how to earn it,
Speaker 1: and how to fix it when it gets broken. If
Speaker 1: someone you love has broken their trust with you, but
Speaker 1: you want to trust them again, or you want them
Speaker 1: to make sure that they're building that track record of trust,
Speaker 1: I would say get this book. Trust, Doctor HERRYT. Cloud
Speaker 1: is a trusted voice. And so I want to say
Speaker 1: this before I go. I want to apologize to you.
Speaker 1: If you feel like no one has apologized to you
Speaker 1: for the area that you were disappointed in a betrayal
Speaker 1: of trust. I want to apologize to you, and I
Speaker 1: want to encourage you to start working on the healing
Speaker 1: journey on your own. Because some of us are upset
Speaker 1: about apologies. We will never get all right, So I
Speaker 1: want you to thrive. I want you to live. I
Speaker 1: don't want you to just walk around here numb and
Speaker 1: just existing like a zombie. Matter of fact, listen to
Speaker 1: JJ Harriston's song. It's called You're Gonna Live because you're
Speaker 1: gonna live to see it happen. You're gonna live to
Speaker 1: see you trusting again. You're gonna live to see you
Speaker 1: loving again. You're gonna see you thriving again, all right,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna see you picking up that area where
Speaker 1: you had big dreams and you just set it down
Speaker 1: because you don't trust. No, that's not gonna be your portion.
Speaker 1: Because by the end of this year, I pray to
Speaker 1: get one testimony from this episode that you've decided to
Speaker 1: live and trust. I truly, truly, hope and pray that
Speaker 1: this episode touched your heart. Maybe is helping you and
Speaker 1: causing you to think of things in another way as
Speaker 1: it relates to trust, who to trust when to trust,
Speaker 1: should you trust ever again, and that you begin to
Speaker 1: live life. If you are one of the ones who
Speaker 1: have just been kind of walking through life, existing and
Speaker 1: just kind of numb to everything, because that's how you've
Speaker 1: chosen to protect yourself. Always know that I love you.
Speaker 1: You are so loved. If you need any resources, please
Speaker 1: don't hesitate to DM me on Instagram. My instagram is
Speaker 1: at Michelle Williams. All Right. I love y'all so so much,
Speaker 1: and thank you for tuning in to another episode of
Speaker 1: Checking In. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.