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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: first minute morning show. Well around the fifteen minute morning show,

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Speaker 1: penis shaped, Desk is Gandhi, and then there's Scary, and

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Speaker 1: there's uh Brody Hello, and there's Garrett in danielle in

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Speaker 1: straighten a in a special guest today. I don't think

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Speaker 1: he's ever been on a podcast. I don't think the

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Speaker 1: one and only Uncle Johnny, Yeah, Uncle Johnny. Now, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got scared because this morning we were talking about

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Speaker 1: the time we went to Palm Springs and you started

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Speaker 1: in the in the liquor store in your in your

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Speaker 1: white pants. I asked you, I said, don't say anything,

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Speaker 1: and you turned around. In the minute I told you,

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Speaker 1: you said okay, and you turned around and made an announcement.

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Speaker 1: Attention everyone, Attention everyone, in the Palm Springs liquor store.

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Speaker 1: Uncle Johnny just sharted his white pants. Yeah, we were

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Speaker 1: talking about it this morning, so we tried to call

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Speaker 1: you and you didn't answer the phone. Where were you?

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Speaker 1: I was on the toilet. What were you doing? I

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Speaker 1: was to do it? Shotting in the toilet. You shouted

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Speaker 1: in the toilet, shouted in the toilets to start Daniel

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Speaker 1: Daniel's bleeding. I think guy Daniel. Daniel cut herself on

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Speaker 1: the knife this morning. No, you're really bleeding, you're not clotting.

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Speaker 1: You need to go probably catch up. She's the catch

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Speaker 1: up from the potatoes. No, no, no, she's you're really bleeding.

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Speaker 1: You can go to like a walking clinic for this,

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Speaker 1: the hospital. Now you can go down to the dock

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Speaker 1: in the box as they call it. Are you okay? No,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. How else do you trust me? I

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Speaker 1: have faith in stitching up a finger. Gandhi her families

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Speaker 1: from India. They're all doctors, so Gandhi could probably stitch

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Speaker 1: you up. Uncle Johnny, we gonna let you go because

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Speaker 1: Daniel was spurting like a blood. Okay, love you guys.

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Speaker 1: I'll see you Friday. Are we here Friday? We'll see you.

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Speaker 1: Then there you go, Uncle Johnny. Everyone get extra best

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Speaker 1: of show just in case you know. We're here Friday.

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Speaker 1: We're working, we're all for two weeks. I love the

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Speaker 1: effort that everyone continues to put into it. It's so good. Daniel. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: another band aid on it, and then I'm going to

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Speaker 1: go to get a check. Just put pressure on it.

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Speaker 1: There's been pressure on it for half an hour already voting.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, stop playing stupid thing. Where's the closest not

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Speaker 1: too far walking? You can find a doctor in Chinatown,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure, and is gonna give you a fake Louis

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Speaker 1: while I'm not it. Isn't there a thing where after

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Speaker 1: a certain amount of time you can't get a stitch anymore? No,

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Speaker 1: you can't get an aesthesia anymore. You can still get this.

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Speaker 1: You're bleeding all over the place. Hey, don't let Scotty

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Speaker 1: be see that, Dandy? Can you google Gangarine? You're actually

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Speaker 1: bleeding out. You need don't show Scotty and can I

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Speaker 1: record it while you do it? Scotty gets really really

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Speaker 1: go home and do it. I don't want come look

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Speaker 1: at Danielle. She's bleeding all over the place. I can't

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Speaker 1: do a serial. I have to go to the hospital.

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Speaker 1: She need tomorrow. No, no, we have to do it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Well then sorry, he saw a blood he saw a

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Speaker 1: bloody tissue. Can you put this? Children? I know, but

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Speaker 1: you need you need. We're going to go. I have

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Speaker 1: to go shopping today. We're three and a half minutes

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Speaker 1: into the podcast and we've done absolutely. I'm very hand

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Speaker 1: to fresh. You're so brave, I would be the one.

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Speaker 1: I'd be the one freaking out right now because I

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Speaker 1: can't stand inside of blood either. And how are you

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Speaker 1: tolerating my friend Dr free Park. He's walking me through it.

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Speaker 1: He's like, how long did you cut it? Well, maybe

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Speaker 1: he should go get around nine a bunch of what's

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Speaker 1: his It's just blood. He bleeds tomato sauce anyway, So

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Speaker 1: I can you know that one time? I um, I

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Speaker 1: was at the doctors and I had to get a

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Speaker 1: I had to get a injection and I saw the

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Speaker 1: the needle pulling blood out and I got so queasy

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Speaker 1: I passed out in the waiting room. Matter, yeah, I said.

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Speaker 1: They were like, I was supposed to drive home after

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Speaker 1: I don't know? And they said no, I think I've

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Speaker 1: been poked and prodded so many times in my life.

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Speaker 1: I just did. It doesn't phase me. No. I had

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Speaker 1: to go laid down. They're like, you want to rest

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Speaker 1: in this next al right? So Andrew just walked in

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Speaker 1: with the first aid kit. So what's in there? We

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Speaker 1: have some gaus? Uh? Yeah, this is Andrew Jeff for

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Speaker 1: two different people. Okay, were beggars. Can't be choosing Andrew?

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Speaker 1: I would think Andrew would do a good job because

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Speaker 1: he's been training for Survivor. I have no doubt he

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Speaker 1: knows how to stitch things you could do and just

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Speaker 1: start a a cauterized her wound. Yeah, you were Survivor guy.

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Speaker 1: Come on, come ahead and tell the word carterized. I

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Speaker 1: thought it was quarter rized. Quartered. I had my nose

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Speaker 1: quarterized when I was young because he had bloody knows

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Speaker 1: is like every week. Let me tell you something. We

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Speaker 1: were in Miami once we're we're having dinner at some

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Speaker 1: fancy restaurant and they were like six of us around

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Speaker 1: the table and my nose started bleeding, so to run

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Speaker 1: to the bathroom. Remember that, And there was like assuming

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Speaker 1: that I'm like doing blow, Alice got a blow problem bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I don't do blow. I wasn't doing blow in the bathroom. No,

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Speaker 1: I just got a bloody nose. It's still gushing. I

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Speaker 1: got a lighter. If you want to give me your

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Speaker 1: finger on burnefit. So Elvis, I just called one of

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Speaker 1: the clinics right by our studio, Solace Health Tribeca, shout

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Speaker 1: out to them because they go, are you a member?

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Speaker 1: And I go, well, no, we're not. They go, well,

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Speaker 1: there's a fifteen hundred dollar Because they don't take insurance,

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Speaker 1: they go, so after Daniel pays fifteen hundred dollars, they

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Speaker 1: can put a stitch in her fingers to the place

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Speaker 1: by me that I always go to, and then it's

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Speaker 1: got to be quality. God, I'm good. You'll never make

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Speaker 1: it die. I'll never make it. Okay, So Nate, what

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Speaker 1: are you doing to her? What are you guys doing

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Speaker 1: right now? Jeff? Someone telling us in the microphone what

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Speaker 1: you're doing. So right now they're wrapping it with gauze

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Speaker 1: and then they're going to tape it down. So this

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Speaker 1: way it's like it's it's stronger than than a band

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Speaker 1: aid would be. So they got the pad to soak

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Speaker 1: up all the blood. Yeah, okay, how does that not

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Speaker 1: make you throw up? Scary has to go scary? Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is why he's never gonna have kids. He could

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Speaker 1: definitely be in the room. Okay, everyone holding scary. Where

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Speaker 1: are you going get a stitch? Isn't because of all

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Speaker 1: the sugar you've eaten today? Maybe he had a platter

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Speaker 1: of cooking. I haven't seen him. I haven't seen him

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Speaker 1: like that. When someone suggested to get married, oh, look,

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Speaker 1: he's in the other room. Scary's like fainting. Like this

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Speaker 1: is really good though. To win is because now we

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Speaker 1: know who can handle things and who cannot. And I

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Speaker 1: would never pick Scottie or Scary to be on my

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Speaker 1: team for something ever. Yeah, or in case of an emergency, Hey,

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Speaker 1: don't they have that glue that you can put on

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Speaker 1: cuts and things? Monkey? Clue? That's not nice. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: talking to the Jeff. You're an engine You're sure you

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Speaker 1: know how microphones work. So I mean this podcasting, do

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Speaker 1: they have blue what? Yes? What? I just told Scary

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Speaker 1: sit down and put your head between your legs. He goes,

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Speaker 1: how do you do that? Putting him in the room

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Speaker 1: with Scotty, who passes out at the sight of blood too,

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Speaker 1: with the guys. I just Scary to come back in,

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Speaker 1: he said, I'd rather go to a gym and workout.

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Speaker 1: That's how bad. Alright, So, Scary, you're doing better. Okay,

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Speaker 1: the blood isn't gushing anymore for you, Okay, okay, can

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Speaker 1: we just much By the way, By the way, this

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Speaker 1: is a podcast. We haven't had one conversation other than

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Speaker 1: Uncle Johnny Sharting. I mean, so Scary you really get

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Speaker 1: queasy when you see blood, and like Daniel's bleeding over here,

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Speaker 1: faint when I see too much blood. Yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: a lot for me. Don't have a baby. No. When

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Speaker 1: I see things like that and I see blood on

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Speaker 1: gauze and things like that, I get lightheaded and I

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Speaker 1: started getting a shortness of breath. So I, like I said,

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Speaker 1: ways ago put a cold can on my head and

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Speaker 1: told me, I put my head. Where do you get

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Speaker 1: a cold can? Scotty's refrigerator can on? What was a

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Speaker 1: can of pold spring something that sounds good? Well, it

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Speaker 1: was just against my forehead. Um, but I'm okay now,

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Speaker 1: thank god, you're okay. I can't believe you don't know

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Speaker 1: how to put your head between your legs. I can't

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Speaker 1: believe you said forehead. By the way, hold on, hold on,

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Speaker 1: hold on, hold on. What's a forehead? Put my forehead? Forehead,

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Speaker 1: my forehead. I pronounced it forehead, I do. Did you

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Speaker 1: see It's like it's the same as people calling it Florida.

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Speaker 1: It's not Floria Florida. It's flat. Noticed. He came back

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Speaker 1: in and those guys, I'm okay. Nothing like Hey, Danielle,

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Speaker 1: you okay, bleeding out. Okay, don't worry about it. Don't

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Speaker 1: worry about me. I'm fine. The one over there wrapping

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Speaker 1: her up is Nate, who we have specific instructions should

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Speaker 1: something happen in fixing other people walking wounded, helping the

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Speaker 1: other one? Can I just tell you, as I changed

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Speaker 1: the subject, I think we had a great show today.

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Speaker 1: It was awesome. And the reason why it's because I

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Speaker 1: don't know about you. I came in with it. I

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Speaker 1: don't give a funk attitude. It was great. I left

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Speaker 1: my phone at home. I still don't have a phone.

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Speaker 1: Fuck it. We can have one or two people have

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Speaker 1: that mentality. We all can't have that mentality. What's that scary?

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Speaker 1: It's very liberating if you think about it, not having

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Speaker 1: a phone, not just not giving a flying Now I've

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Speaker 1: been grabbing for my phone all day and I need

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Speaker 1: to google something. I think that's what I missed most

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Speaker 1: about not having a phone. I need to google something.

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Speaker 1: But I just tell Gandhi, she's my googler. She was

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Speaker 1: googling quarter rised earlier. Is a quarterized? How do you

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Speaker 1: say it? It's cauterized. I thought it was cauterized. It

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Speaker 1: is cauterized, it's snown I've always said quarterized. Okay, then

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Speaker 1: by all means continue anyway. I don't even know what

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Speaker 1: the Presese procedure was what they did to me, but

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Speaker 1: I had it done when I was a kid. Yeah, cauterizing, cauterized, caterizing,

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Speaker 1: it's not it's not cart it's caught cauterizing. It's actually

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Speaker 1: they kind of burn your ship. Yeah, it makes it

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Speaker 1: all go back together. I had my lighter ready for Danielle.

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Speaker 1: She didn't seem to want. It's like, it's like soldering

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Speaker 1: your solder, your wound. Is that what that is here

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Speaker 1: is it's cauterized. It's forehead and cauterized. It's forehead. Florida

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Speaker 1: and cauterize and orange orange. This is the worst podcast.

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Speaker 1: This one will get the most listens, guaranteed. I have

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Speaker 1: a couple of spots to cup is you've already cut

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Speaker 1: your hand to that. The more provocative the title, that's

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Speaker 1: what's going to get the listens and not the actual Okay,

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Speaker 1: so the title of today's podcast is I don't give

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Speaker 1: a fuck. There you go, I don't give two funks,

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Speaker 1: and then label it N S F W because that

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Speaker 1: always gets them to can I say fucking the title? Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know, star star kakay oh. I should tell my husband.

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Speaker 1: By the way, how does Danielle commutely figure out a

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Speaker 1: way to bandage up our middle finger? So she's just

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Speaker 1: showing everybody a cute you know it hurts like it's throbbing,

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Speaker 1: is it really? Yeah? But that mean that means you

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Speaker 1: can feel you'll probably give you a tennis shot or

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Speaker 1: are you watching the yeah? Yeah, Well Nate had mentioned

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Speaker 1: earlier if you are looking to go back to what

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Speaker 1: we started the podcast with that he never got to

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Speaker 1: tell his himself story. It's so anti climacting. Now that

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Speaker 1: daniel is almost do you guys mind? Can we listen

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Speaker 1: to Nate tells his ship himself story? Please? I was

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Speaker 1: on it, okay. I was on a date and it

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Speaker 1: was a breakfast date that we have breakfast like, uh no,

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Speaker 1: it was someplace in the West Village. I think you

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Speaker 1: shut yourself while working here myself. Yes, actually I shipped

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Speaker 1: myself during the last six years, but I duked myself

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Speaker 1: that Gandhi said, So, who was it was some I

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Speaker 1: can't remember the name of the girl, but we had

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Speaker 1: this date and it was brunch, and I was really

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Speaker 1: trying to rush things along because my stomach was doing

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Speaker 1: that oh yeah thing, and I knew. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I just really need to farst. So I was in

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Speaker 1: the restaurant and I was like, where's the bathroom And

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Speaker 1: the guy points at the door and it's four feet

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Speaker 1: away from where I'm sitting. Like, I can't go in

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Speaker 1: there to fart, She's gonna hear it, no way. So

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Speaker 1: I held it the whole time, and my stomach just

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Speaker 1: keeps doing. So we finally finished. I'm like wrapping, thinking

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Speaker 1: like asking for the check when he just brings the food.

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Speaker 1: It was bad. We finally get outside, I kissed her goodbye.

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Speaker 1: She walks one way and I pretend to walk the other,

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Speaker 1: even though I had to go to the right other,

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Speaker 1: you know, direction she was going. And I stopped and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I can finally fart. I ship my

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Speaker 1: pants straight up my pants and so I was about

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Speaker 1: six blocks from my my apartment and six flights down,

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Speaker 1: so I had to watch six blocks in six flights. God,

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Speaker 1: I was wearing a brown jacket which covered my butt.

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Speaker 1: But I get upstairs and immediately just this robe finished

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Speaker 1: douking in the toilet and then jumped into more. I

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Speaker 1: don't know the last time you gambled and lost on

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Speaker 1: a fart, but that was I cannot recall ever pooping

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Speaker 1: my pants. Ever. You've never even started. I've never started. See.

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Speaker 1: We got into an argument at a party once because

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Speaker 1: there are a few people who were saying that they

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Speaker 1: had never started, and I was like, I don't even

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Speaker 1: believe that that's a lie. But if you're saying it too,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's not. Daniel, I don't I don't remember the

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Speaker 1: last time I have. I told you my problem is

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Speaker 1: just throwing up and peeing at the same time because

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Speaker 1: I have not a lot of muscles down there with

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Speaker 1: how to having kids. So after the kids come out,

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Speaker 1: you can't hold your ear. I can laugh a little

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Speaker 1: bit and a little pea will come out. I mean

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Speaker 1: if I like, yeah, if I do too much, it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: But if I'm throwing up, I'm paying the other end,

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Speaker 1: do you tell your kids, look what she did to mommy.

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Speaker 1: Mommy has no keys, Mommy screwed up? All right? This

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Speaker 1: has been Actually I'm starting to like this podcast. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I miscalculated a pe in my pants once I was

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Speaker 1: playing Little League, and I had a white uniform on

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Speaker 1: when I was on first space in a very long inning,

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Speaker 1: and I had to pee and I couldn't help it,

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Speaker 1: and so I pee it a little bit, you know,

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Speaker 1: So you get a little, a little off color white

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Speaker 1: jersey in the pe area and then it kind of

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Speaker 1: went down your legs, a little stream down. I was

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Speaker 1: like nine years old, so I'm like, here's what I'll do.

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Speaker 1: I'll cover myself in dirts so it looks like I slid,

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Speaker 1: but the dirt only attached itself to where the PA was.

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Speaker 1: I had a big brown area and a big brown

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Speaker 1: racing strikes. Don't do that. Fifteen minute morning show