1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: Blood on the Tracks is a production of I Heart 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: Radio and Double Elvis. John Lennon was a musical genius 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,479 Speaker 1: and one of the most beloved cultural figures of the 4 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: twentieth century. His songs inspired dreamers to imagine, his search 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: for the truth gave power to the people. But some 6 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,639 Speaker 1: thought he dreamed too much. Others thought he was too powerful. 7 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: So he was followed, he was threatened, he was declared 8 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: a danger to the United States, and in night he 9 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: was assassinated. This is his story told by his so 10 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: called friends. This especial agent Jim Steele with the Federal 11 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: Bureau of Investigation work in case number double oh nine 12 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: DA zero eight zero four nine one. Case subject is 13 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: Lennon John Winston oh No. This information pertains to a 14 00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: period ending December. Interview subject because Chapman Mark David interview 15 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: number zero death seven one Dash six nine dash five 16 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: one recail number one December. I knew what I was 17 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: going to shoot him that night. I absolutely did. I 18 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: tried not to. I prayed that it wouldn't happen, but 19 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 1: deep down I knew it would come to that. I 20 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: stood in front of the mirror in my hotel room 21 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: at the Sheraton and thought, look, this is me, probably 22 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: this is the real me, this is my past, and 23 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: I'm I'm going, I'm going to another place. It was 24 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: like I was going through a door, the poet's door, 25 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: William Blake's door, Jim Morrison's door. I was leaving my past. 26 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: I was leaving what I was and going into a 27 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 1: future of uncertainty. There were tremendous feelings of Holden Caulfield 28 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: and The Catcher and the Rye. The paragraphs and sentences 29 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: of that book were flowing through my brain and entering 30 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 1: my blood, influencing my thoughts and actions. My very soul 31 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: was breathing between the pages of The Catcher in the Rye. 32 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,079 Speaker 1: Then I loaded cartridges into the five empty slots on 33 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 1: the cylinder of my charter arms thirty eight pistol, and 34 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,799 Speaker 1: looked into the mirror once again. I held the pistol 35 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 1: up in my right hand, close to the chamber, with 36 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: a flick of my wrist, and I looked dead into 37 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: my own eyes and said out loud, the Catcher and 38 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: the Rye of my generation, Chapter twenty. And I walked 39 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: out the front door of the Sheritan and made my 40 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: way over to the Dakota. John Lennard's songs wouldn't leave 41 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: my head. All I could hear was John le I 42 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,919 Speaker 1: could see the songs. They were on the asphalts of 43 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: in the clouds, and they tumbled down the stairways of 44 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 1: subway stations. The songs were covered in blood. Blood all 45 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: over the songs, blood all the tracks. Chapter nine, John 46 00:03:48,520 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: Lennon and Mark David Chapman. He do you want to 47 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: know what goes on inside my head? Do you really 48 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: want to know? That's why you're here? Isn't it to 49 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: dig through the depths of my mind to determine once 50 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: and for all why I did what I did? Why 51 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: did Mark David Chapman shoot John Lennon in the back 52 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: four times on the evening of December eighth, ninety Why? Why? Oh? 53 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: I've told the headshrinkers everything, already told them over and 54 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: over again. I've probably talked with a dozen of them 55 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: for hundreds of hours, if not thousands. I'm serious. I'm 56 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: just about sick to death of it. Like I told them, 57 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: I was a nobody. Mark David Chapman was a nobody, 58 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: a failure. I couldn't even hold down a job at 59 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 1: the hospital. The same hospital in Hawaii that I was 60 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: rushed to when I tried to take my own life 61 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: at two. That was just three years before I took 62 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:10,720 Speaker 1: someone else's life, John Lennon's life. Anyway, the hospital probably 63 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: took pity on me and gave me a job in 64 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: the print shop. But I failed that, just like I 65 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: failed everything else. Being a nobody, Being a failure, I 66 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: was sick to death of that too, made me angry. 67 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: I've been angry for years, mostly at other kids in 68 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: school and at my father. Abusive, neglectful. He really did 69 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: a number on my mother when he left, left us 70 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: with nothing. For years, I focused my anger on him. 71 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: This fantasy played out over and over again in my head. 72 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: I tracked my father down, get him alone, bring a 73 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 1: gun with me, I leave a competition to the part. 74 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: I'd press it to his temple, press it so hard 75 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: that it would leave a mark, and I'd remind him 76 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: about all the awful things he'd done to my mother 77 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: and tell him that he would pay for it. He'd 78 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: pay for her pain, he'd pay for my anger. And 79 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,039 Speaker 1: then I'd ask him if he was scared, if he 80 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: was scared of dying, if he was scared of going 81 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: to hell. I'd say, well, this is it, Dad, and 82 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: then I'd pull the trigger. But I never did, never 83 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: followed through. It was too weak, too scared. There was 84 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: nobody now take John Lennon. John Lennon was somebody. He 85 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: was a somebody. He was the leader of the Beatles. 86 00:06:55,120 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: The Beatles were my favorite band shot But John Lennon 87 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: squandered what he had. I'm not saying that he took 88 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: it for granted. I mean that he turned his back 89 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: on it. He turned his back on who he truly was. 90 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: He was a phony, That's what Holding Caulfield would say, 91 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: a real phony. He was a millionaire who saying imagine 92 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: no possessions. He was a hypocrite. John Lennon saying that 93 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: he didn't believe in God, didn't believe in Beatles. Who 94 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: in the hell does he think he is? That's what 95 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: I would ask myself, Who in the hell does John 96 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 1: Lennon think he is? To say that he's bigger than Jesus? 97 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 1: And that really rubbed me the wrong way. John Lennon 98 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: had walked through a door. He left behind who he 99 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: used to be and became someone different. But the person 100 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: he became, the place he went to Phony. I figured 101 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 1: I could show the world that John Lennon didn't deserve 102 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 1: to be somebody. I could have suppose him for what 103 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: he truly was, and in doing so I could become somebody. 104 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: I could be famous, I could get attention. I didn't 105 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: just come around to this on the fly. All Willy 106 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: Nilly I had practiced. I was a king once. I 107 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: was king of the little people. The little people were 108 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: much smaller than me. They lived inside the walls. I 109 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: wasn't just their king, I was their hero. My face 110 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: was on the front page of the newspapers that they read. 111 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: I was on the televisions that they watched. They even 112 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: worshiped me. I was a god to them. I play 113 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: them my Beatles records. But sometimes the dark clouds came, 114 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: not to the little people, to me, the dark clouds 115 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: in my head. The clouds would come and I would 116 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: start to think about my father, all right, think about 117 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 1: the kids who beat on me on the basketball court 118 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: back in high school. Would happen Where I think about 119 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: John Lennon, the Phony Beatle recovered bod I'd get angry. 120 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: There was a couch in my living room. The couch 121 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: had a button. I think it was to help the 122 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: couch reclined. But in my mind, the button was directly 123 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 1: wired two explosives in the wall right where the little 124 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 1: people lived. I was the only one who had access 125 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 1: to that button. I had the power. I knew it 126 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: would come to that. The clouds would gather in my 127 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: head and I would get so furious, and my thumb 128 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: would press down hard on that button. My thumb would 129 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 1: ache like it had been stunned. The wall would explode, 130 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: hundreds of little people dead, thousands of little people dead. 131 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: I old off entire families, villages, reports. Then I calm down, 132 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 1: the clouds would break up. I'd regret what I had done. 133 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 1: I'd apologize to the little people, to those who had 134 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: been spared. I would apologize to them, and then they 135 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: would all forgive me. They're king, they're hero, their God, 136 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 1: and then everything would go back to normal. At first, 137 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: I didn't want to tell anyone anything. They charged me 138 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: with second degree murder. They said I was insane, this 139 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: is me that I wasn't fit to stand trial. Probably fine, 140 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: I thought, let them think I'm insane. They were holding 141 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 1: me at Riker's Island. They put me in a bulletproof 142 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: vest and walked me over to court just so my 143 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:29,560 Speaker 1: attorney you could withdraw from my case. People were threatening 144 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 1: his life. I guess he called the trial and albatross, 145 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 1: and people were dying all because he had died. Some 146 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 1: sixteen year old girl in Florida took a handful of 147 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 1: pills took her own life. And then a man in 148 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: Salt Lake City swallowed the barrel of a gun and 149 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: pulled the trigger. People just couldn't live in a world 150 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 1: that didn't include John Lennon. Apparently, fans were flooding Yoko 151 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 1: Ono's mailbox with straw letters, so many letters that she 152 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: had to appear on television simply so that people all 153 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:09,360 Speaker 1: over the world wouldn't lose hope. I don't know if 154 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: you'd call this hope, But it was at this time 155 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: that I got the message, the message from God. I've 156 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: been waiting to hear from God for so long. He 157 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 1: told me to change my plea. I was not insane. 158 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 1: I was a nobody who wanted to be as somebody. 159 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 1: And if I wanted to be as somebody, I had 160 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: to plead guilty. I had to show them all who 161 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:45,319 Speaker 1: I really was, and so I did. I asked the 162 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: judge to change my plea. The new attorney they've given 163 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 1: me an agree with that choice. He thought I was 164 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: alone and argued that I wasn't what do you call it. 165 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 1: I wasn't of sound mind or whatever they say in court. 166 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: But I wasn't capable of making that decision on my own. 167 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 1: But I went out. I convinced the judge did how 168 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 1: was that there was no more trial. I was guilty, 169 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: guilty in the eyes of God and guilty in the 170 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 1: eyes of every Beatles fan in the world. Wouldn't my good? 171 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: And then I wouldn't talk to anyone about anything because 172 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 1: I was angry again. I was still angry at John Lennon, 173 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 1: and now I was angry at God for putting me 174 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 1: in this position. I was angry at my own wife. 175 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:47,079 Speaker 1: My wife flew into New York from Hawaii. I refused 176 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: to see her. She knew this was going to happen, 177 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 1: she did nothing about it. I first came to New 178 00:13:55,720 --> 00:14:00,440 Speaker 1: York in October of I came to kill John Lennon all, 179 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: but I didn't follow through. I've gone back home to 180 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: Hawaii and told my wife all about my plan. I 181 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: showed her my gun. I made her understand what I 182 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: was capable of She could have prevented the whole thing, 183 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 1: could have called the police, could have had me locked up. 184 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:24,240 Speaker 1: But she didn't. So when she came to see me, 185 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: when I changed my plea, I refused to see her. 186 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: I shaved my head, flew into a rage. I smashed 187 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: a TV set and then a radio. I tore the 188 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: pages out of my Bible. The thing was lousy with lies. 189 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 1: I thought of holding Caufield, how he flew into a 190 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: rage when his brother died and broke his hand by 191 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: punching out windows in the garage. He said his hands 192 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: still hurt years after. He couldn't even make a fist 193 00:14:53,440 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 1: when it rained. Generation. I stopped in the my outburst, 194 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: think if anything hurt my hand that had smashed the 195 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: TV set, or my fingers that had torn so many 196 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:14,760 Speaker 1: pages from that book. I wondered if things that hurt 197 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: now would still hurt years later, Like holding it said, 198 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 1: I figured that they probably would. I took the torn 199 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: pages from the Bible and stuffed them down the toilet 200 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 1: in my cell. Tried to flush it all down, the 201 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: whole crummy thing, but it wouldn't go down, and the 202 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: water backed up flooded the floor of my cell. A 203 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 1: couple of prison guards came in to find out what 204 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 1: the hell was going on. So I dipped my hands 205 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,800 Speaker 1: in the toilet and threw dirty Bible water at them. 206 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: Like ripped the clothes from my body. I screened out loud. 207 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 1: Took six guards to get me under control. Once they 208 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: had me subdued, they drove me out to Bellevue to 209 00:15:55,440 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: the loony bin. This was August, and to think, just 210 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: nine months before that, on December seven night, I was 211 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 1: sitting at the hotel bar at the Sheridan Center Seventh 212 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: Avenue and fifty Street. I was drinking Heineken. I was thinking, 213 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: of course, about John Lennon, but I was also thinking 214 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: about Holden Caufield, about how he had rented a hotel 215 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: room in New York City just like me. He was 216 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: dissatisfied with people, just like me. I thought about holding 217 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 1: some more, and I wondered if I could step through 218 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: a door and step into holden shoes, I could be Holden. 219 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 1: Because I wanted to be Holden, and I think I 220 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: was destined to be Holden, to become him, to live 221 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: out the rest of his life. I decided to start 222 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 1: that very night. I called a prostitute up to my room, 223 00:16:55,440 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: just like Holden had of my generation. She came upstairs, 224 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,320 Speaker 1: we sat on the bed and talked. That was all, 225 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 1: no sex, Just like Holden. I paid her. She left 226 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 1: around three in the morning. I thought about how Holden 227 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 1: had to deal with the elevator operator in the book, 228 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 1: the guy who got him the prostitute in the first place. 229 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 1: Now that guy then tried to extort holding by charging 230 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: him twice the rate they had agreed upon entering my blood. 231 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 1: He insulted Holden, attacked him. Holden wanted revenge, but all 232 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 1: he had was fantasy. He fantasized about having a gun, 233 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,920 Speaker 1: about aiming it at that smarmy elevator operator, making him 234 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 1: beg for his life, and then shooting him in the 235 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: stomach six times. I knew that, unlike Holden, I had 236 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: more than fantasy at my disposal. I knew that I 237 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: could step through a door, I could leave myself behind, 238 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: and I could do all the things that Holden Caulfield 239 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: had wanted to do but couldn't. I could be somebody, 240 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 1: and this is how it happened. We'll be right back 241 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 1: after this word word. I was standing around like a 242 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 1: real idiot, waiting for him to come back. I didn't 243 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: want to be there, but also knew that I had 244 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: to be there. I wanted to step through that door, 245 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: I had to remain right where I was outside the Dakota, 246 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: waiting for John Lennon. It was Dember eighth. I met 247 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: him for the first time earlier in the day, late afternoon, 248 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: maybe almost dinnertime. I've been hanging around the Dakota with 249 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: this guy, Paul Gorrish. People called him Fat Dave, who 250 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 1: was a photographer, though I don't know who. He took 251 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: pictures for. People like Fat Dave hung around outside the Dakota, 252 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: hoping to get a photo, or a handshake or an autograph. 253 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 1: When John emerged from inside, Dale thought I was one 254 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 1: of them, another Fat Dave. But I wasn't anything like them. 255 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:22,440 Speaker 1: I wasn't there to fawn over John Lennon the phony. 256 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: I wasn't there to usher my way into his life. 257 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:34,120 Speaker 1: I was there to end his. When at long last 258 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 1: John and Yoko came out that afternoon, I almost didn't 259 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:44,640 Speaker 1: say anything. I climbed up, my muscles clenched tight. Fat 260 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 1: Dave pushed me into John's path, said I came here 261 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: all the way from Hawaii. This was my chance like 262 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: I was just like him. I was holding a copy 263 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 1: of John and Yoko's Double Fantasy, along with a red 264 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 1: paperback copy of The Catcher in the Rye. I asked 265 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 1: John to sign the album. He did. He signed the 266 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: album cover right on Yoko's neck, and then he looked 267 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 1: me in the eyes. I've talked about this before, but 268 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 1: I feel that it is important to restate. He looked 269 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 1: me right in the eyes, and I looked dead into 270 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: my own eyes and said, is that all? Do you 271 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:31,959 Speaker 1: want anything else? It was like he looked into my 272 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 1: eyes and knew that I was the person who was 273 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:38,680 Speaker 1: going to take his life, that his life would end 274 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:44,400 Speaker 1: that day. That night, John and Yoko left in a limousine, 275 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: and so I waited again. I told myself I would 276 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,879 Speaker 1: wait until they returned. I killed time talking with the 277 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 1: doorman at the Dakota. I found out he was from Cuba, 278 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,879 Speaker 1: so naturally that made me think of the Bay of Pigs, 279 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 1: and so we talked about Kennedy's assassination. Oh almost man 280 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: asked me for money, so I gave him ten bucks, 281 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:10,879 Speaker 1: and for hours on end, I prayed to God. I 282 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 1: prayed to God to help me find a way out. 283 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: God delivered to me another fan who was hanging around 284 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,199 Speaker 1: the Dakota, a girl named Jude, And if you can 285 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 1: believe it, I asked her out to dinner that night, 286 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: thinking that she could be the reason why I didn't 287 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,360 Speaker 1: go through with it. She could save me. God could 288 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: save me through this woman. But she turned me down. 289 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 1: She said no. And here I thought God was going 290 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: to help, so I prayed to the devil instead. I 291 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 1: asked the devil to give me strength to help me 292 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 1: see through what I knew I had to do. I 293 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 1: told the devil that I had already talked to God 294 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 1: and that God did not answer. That God did not care. 295 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,439 Speaker 1: God didn't care that I was a nobody, But the 296 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 1: Devil cared, and the devil wanted me to be somebody. 297 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,679 Speaker 1: The devil knew who I really was, what I really was. 298 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:22,879 Speaker 1: The devil I knew what I was capable of, and 299 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,919 Speaker 1: the Devil was with me at ten fifty that evening, 300 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 1: when the limousine returned, do it, the devil said to me. 301 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 1: I heard the devil as the rear passenger door of 302 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: the limo opened and Yoko stepped out. John followed shortly behind. 303 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 1: And I heard the devil again. Do it? Yoko walked 304 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: right past me. I mumbled hellow to her, but she 305 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: didn't respond. John got closer to me, and the voice 306 00:22:52,920 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 1: in my head got louder. Do it. As John by me, 307 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: he didn't look at me. I think he registered that 308 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,880 Speaker 1: it was me, that I was still there all these 309 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,399 Speaker 1: hours later. Perhaps he thought I was just like the 310 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 1: rest of them, some desperate fan. Perhaps you remember the 311 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: conversation we had earlier in the day when he had 312 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: asked me, do you want anything else? Perhaps he knew 313 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: that this was the something else, the thing that was 314 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: about to happen, But he just kept walking. If he 315 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,880 Speaker 1: walked right by towards the front gate of the Dakota, 316 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 1: didn't say a goddamn word. I reached in the pocket 317 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 1: of my jacket and felt my shaking hand grab onto 318 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 1: the handle of the charter Arms thirty eight. It was 319 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: a snub nosed pistol, so it was easy to conceal, 320 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 1: easy to hold, easy to aim. I didn't know if 321 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: the bullets would even work. I'd never shot a gun 322 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 1: at a person before. My hand wouldn't stop shaking as 323 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,880 Speaker 1: I pulled the thirty eight out into the coal December Air. 324 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: Do it? I heard in my head, do it? Do it? 325 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,399 Speaker 1: I aimed right at his back, and I pulled the 326 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 1: trigger twice. Both shots hit John in the back. The 327 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:24,360 Speaker 1: devil got louder. Do it. John turned around and stumbled. 328 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 1: I thought of Holden's fantasy with the elevator operator. I 329 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: was the gangster that Holden wanted so desperately to be. 330 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,240 Speaker 1: I'd play it out for him and was going through. 331 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,360 Speaker 1: I fired three more times. Two of the shots caught 332 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 1: him in the shoulder, the third missed. I heard glass 333 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 1: shadow on the ash, and then everything went blurry for 334 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 1: a few seconds. It was like the film script broke. 335 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 1: I didn't know if I'd made it through the door 336 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,920 Speaker 1: or not, but I felt different than I had ever 337 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 1: felt before. I stood there on the sidewalk. My arm 338 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 1: was hanging at my side. I was holding on to 339 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 1: the thirty eight. The doorman, who I had spoken with earlier, 340 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,920 Speaker 1: ran up to me and knocked the gun from my hand. 341 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 1: Things got clearer. Then I felt the air pinched my face. 342 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 1: I couldn't see John anywhere, wouldn't leave my head. I 343 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: later learned that he had been able to make his 344 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 1: way up the stairs towards the Dakota, where he collapsed. 345 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: I waited for more instruction, to hear the voice of 346 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 1: the devil once more. But the devil was gone, No devil, 347 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: no God. I was alone. I wanted to walk through 348 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 1: that door. The paragraph and sentences of that book were 349 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,439 Speaker 1: flowing through my brain and entering my blood. I wanted 350 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: to live out the life that Holden Caufield had left behind. 351 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 1: I'm again to pace. I paced back and forth in 352 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 1: front of the Dakota. I didn't know what to do 353 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: with myself, so I pulled the paper, a copy of 354 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 1: The Catcher in the Ride from my back pocket, and 355 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: started to reread True. And as I waited for the 356 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 1: police to arrive and for the ambulance to arrive, I 357 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 1: wondered what everyone would think of me now. I wondered 358 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: if they would all look at me and see somebody 359 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 1: having all will let it run down? Well, we're in 360 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:59,120 Speaker 1: finally down. You'll let this second stick off to give 361 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:04,919 Speaker 1: Miamian no offer tunity whatsoever. Donna was called three sockets, 362 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 1: remitting John Smith. Because I'm alive, I don't care what's 363 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,359 Speaker 1: on the line. Howard, you were about to say, but 364 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 1: we go in the book. Yes, we have to say it. 365 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,920 Speaker 1: Remember this is just a football game. I'm out of 366 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:22,719 Speaker 1: who win, saw loses? An unspeakable tragedy conferred to us 367 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 1: by ABC News in New York City. John Lennon outside 368 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: of his apartment building on the West side of New 369 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: York City, the most famous, perhaps of all of the Beatles, 370 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 1: shot twice in the back, rushed the rose, found hospital 371 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 1: dead on arrival, caught to go back to the game 372 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: after that news squash, which in duty found we had 373 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 1: to take right. Indeed it is NYPD. Officers Peter Collin 374 00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 1: and Steve Spear were the first to arrive at the scene, 375 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:08,440 Speaker 1: the Dakota seventy Street in Central Park West, December eighth night. 376 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: There have been reports of loud noises, five bangs in 377 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 1: quick succession, gunshots. Maybe Colin and Spiro thought the more 378 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 1: likely explanation was fireworks. It was the Chinese New Year, 379 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,399 Speaker 1: and even at eleven o'clock at night in the city 380 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: that never slept, someone was always out celebrating something. But 381 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: there was no celebration at the Dakota, no fireworks. When 382 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,920 Speaker 1: Colin and Spiro pulled up in their police cruiser, they 383 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 1: unknowingly walked into an unforgettable tragedy. The Dakota, it's late 384 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 1: nineteenth century goth expires, turrets and gargoyles cast in erie. 385 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 1: Paul Colin and Spiro could feel the building's hulking gray 386 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 1: frame looking down on them, and on the small but 387 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: gathering crowd, and on two men in particular, one standing 388 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 1: still on the sidewalk in an overcoat, his hands raised 389 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,720 Speaker 1: over his head, a red paperback clenched between his fingers, 390 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: the other on the floor of the Dakota's vestibule, bleeding 391 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: from his mouth and chest. Colin was surprised to find 392 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 1: that the man still had a pulse. He was even 393 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 1: more surprised, as he searched for a face behind the 394 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: bloodstained eyeglasses, that he realized exactly who the man was, 395 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: New York's most famous resident, one of America's best loved 396 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:32,720 Speaker 1: adopted sons. Colin couldn't believe it. John Lennon was dying 397 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 1: right there fast. Meanwhile, Spiro tended to the man in 398 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,600 Speaker 1: the overcoat with the red paperback above his head. The 399 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: Dakota's doorman, Jose Perdomo, made the man mark David Chapman 400 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: as the one who fired the fatal shots. Spirow pushed 401 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 1: Chapman up against the wall of the Dakota, read him 402 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 1: his rights, cuffed him. John Lennon was bleeding out in 403 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 1: front of Colin's eyes. Colin radio dispatch for an ambulance. 404 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 1: Ten that's out. They didn't have ten minutes. John would 405 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 1: be dead in ten minutes. More officers arrived from the 406 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,959 Speaker 1: scene in another squad car, and Colin helped carry John's 407 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 1: body to the car's back seat. John was barely conscious. 408 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,280 Speaker 1: The officers asked him some basic questions, and he silently 409 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 1: nodded his head in response. Colin told the officers to 410 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 1: take John to Roosevelt Hospital, thirteen blocks away. Radio it in, 411 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 1: he said, but don't say that you have John Lennon 412 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 1: in the back seat. The place will be a zoo 413 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:36,480 Speaker 1: by the time you get there. Minutes later, at Roosevelt, 414 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 1: Dr David haller At, a twenty nine year old general 415 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 1: surgeon in his third year, held John Lennon's heart in 416 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: his hands. The team of doctors and nurses had rushed 417 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 1: John from the back of the squad car, cut away 418 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: John's fur lined leather jacket, his shirt, his jeans. John 419 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 1: had lost so much blood that his pulse had faded, 420 00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 1: so Dr Hallarin opened John's chest and he prefer warm 421 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 1: cardiac massage, hands directly on John Lennon's heart. Hallarin continued 422 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 1: to perform cardiac massage for forty five minutes, and John 423 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 1: Lennon was declared dead that night. Back at the Dakota, 424 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,480 Speaker 1: officers Cullen and Spireau got Mark David Chapman into the 425 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: back of their police cruiser and headed towards the station. 426 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: Colin tried to keep his anger at bay. He clenched 427 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 1: his fists, he shook his head. He wanted to throw 428 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,080 Speaker 1: Chapman on the fucking window and into oncoming traffic. He 429 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,040 Speaker 1: attempted to refrain from saying something he would regret, but 430 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 1: he just couldn't hold back. Are you fucking crazy? Colin 431 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 1: shouted back and Chapman from the front seat, he just 432 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: threw your whole life away. Chapman looked at Colin through 433 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 1: the rear view mirror. He blinked his eyes and responded calmly. 434 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 1: There was a little person and a big person inside 435 00:31:55,240 --> 00:32:00,320 Speaker 1: of me, and tonight the little person one. Colin didn't 436 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: know what the funk Chapman was going on about, or 437 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 1: what was going on in his head. Colin just wanted 438 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 1: to book the asshole and get him out of his 439 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 1: face before he did something he really couldn't come back from. 440 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,680 Speaker 1: At the police station, other officers followed Collin's lead. They 441 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 1: couldn't believe what had happened. I couldn't understand, and their anger, 442 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:25,120 Speaker 1: their frustration, it all bubbled up and then burst through 443 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 1: the surface and words that couldn't do their disbelief justice. 444 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,600 Speaker 1: You know what you just did? Do you know who 445 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 1: you just shot? Chapman blinked some more. His eyes started 446 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: from one officer to another. He tried to play back 447 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 1: what had happened in his mind, but the film strip 448 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 1: was still broken. He couldn't go back, He could only 449 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 1: go forward. I am John Lennon, Chapman answered, and I 450 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 1: killed myself. Of course, Mark David Chapman was not John Lennon, 451 00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:00,040 Speaker 1: far from it. Mark David Chapman would never be on 452 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,640 Speaker 1: on it. He would never be that brave, never be 453 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: that smart or that magnetic. He would never be that talented, 454 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: and he would never capture the world with his songs 455 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 1: or inspire a generation with his vision. Mark David Chapman 456 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: only inspired contempt and disgusted from his fellow man as 457 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: he sat alone at the police station, waiting, waiting in 458 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,240 Speaker 1: vain for a door to open that would never open, 459 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 1: waiting for a transfiguration that was clearly as fantastical as 460 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: the sentences and paragraphs and a work of fiction. Mark 461 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: David Chapman was not John Lennon. He did not become 462 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:42,640 Speaker 1: Holden Caufield. He remained unchanged. But the rest of the 463 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,400 Speaker 1: world would never be the same again. Where once there 464 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 1: was hope, now there was despair. And where once there 465 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 1: was beautiful music, now there was just Blood on the Tracks. 466 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 1: All right, everybody, Thanks for listening to Blood on the Tracks. 467 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,399 Speaker 1: If you like what you hear, be sure to find 468 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,360 Speaker 1: and follow Blood on the Tracks on Apple podcast, I 469 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,920 Speaker 1: Heart Radio, app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. 470 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,719 Speaker 1: On this season two of Blood on the Tracks, we'll 471 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: be releasing ten episodes on the incredible life of John Lennon, 472 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,320 Speaker 1: with a new episode every Thursday. You can also binge 473 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 1: all ten episodes of season one on the insane story 474 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 1: of the notorious record producer Phil Spector right now. It's 475 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,359 Speaker 1: available wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Blood 476 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,760 Speaker 1: on the Tracks was written by Zeth Lundie and hosted 477 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,720 Speaker 1: an executive produced by me Jake Brennan, also executive produced 478 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:50,000 Speaker 1: by Brady sad Story and copy editing by Pat Healy. 479 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,520 Speaker 1: This episode was mixed by Colin Fleming. Additional music and 480 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:57,840 Speaker 1: score elements by Ryan Spreaker. This episode featured Alan Adams 481 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,320 Speaker 1: as Mark David Chapman. Blood on the Track Acts is 482 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,360 Speaker 1: produced by Double Elvis and partnership with I Heart Radio. 483 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 1: Sources for this episode are available at Double Elvis dot 484 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 1: com on the Blood on the Tracks series page. If 485 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 1: you want to chat about this show or hear more 486 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,239 Speaker 1: about the other shows, we're making a Double Elvis tap 487 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,400 Speaker 1: in on Instagram at double Elvis, on Twitter at Double 488 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,719 Speaker 1: Elvis FM, and now on Twitch, where we're streaming three 489 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,640 Speaker 1: days a week at Twitch dot tv slash Double Elvis podcast. 490 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,360 Speaker 1: And finally, be sure to check out disgrace Land, the 491 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,640 Speaker 1: award winning music and true crime podcast that I also host. 492 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,520 Speaker 1: Disgraceland is available only on the free Amazon Music. To 493 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,600 Speaker 1: hear tons of insane stories about your favorite musicians getting 494 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 1: away with murder and behaving very badly, go to Amazon 495 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,200 Speaker 1: dot com slash disgrace lamb, or if you have an 496 00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: Echo device, just say Alexa play the disgrace Land podcast 497 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:59,240 Speaker 1: Rock Alone, Dad,