1 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 1: Parks Talk, Parts Talk, Punks Talk, Punks Talk. Oh my god, 2 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: episode four already. Wow? Wow, it really makes you think, 3 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: you know, time passes, the sun rises, the sunsets, We're 4 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: all just humans on this rock. Kinachs insignificant. You start 5 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 1: a podcast episode one, and then all of a sudden 6 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: it's episode four, you know, And and pretty soon I'm 7 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 1: just gonna be in the ground, and my hair is 8 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: gonna be real long, and bugs are gonna be eating 9 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: my fingernails, And it just really makes you think, Okay, 10 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: should we start now? Oh, you've been recording the whole time. Hello, viewers, 11 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: this is Parts Talk with me, Doctor Nancy Pitts O B. 12 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 1: G Y N and Classic Belaware Lady. How's my week been? Well? 13 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: My husband Patrick got an air friar, so you tell 14 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: me now. He's there frying everything. I mean, I had 15 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: fried miso soup the other day. You want their soup 16 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: to be crunchy? Okay, that's just tofu this man. I 17 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: gotta give him poised to entertain himself like the air friar, 18 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: otherwise he'll be barking up my tree for you know what. 19 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: Qu A l I T y Tim Quality Time The 20 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: other day He was asking me to go on a 21 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: nature walk with him, and I says, Patrick, why don't 22 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: you just jack off into the toilet like the other 23 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: husband's okay, we're better get get drunk and sleep on 24 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 1: the lazy boys like a real man. All the men 25 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: in my family fell asleep in chairs. It's just what 26 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: you do. It's not his faulty as board. He's my 27 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: ass husband, or as I guess they call him now, 28 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: a himbo. But he wasn't always an unemployed you know, 29 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: you sto own an edible soap store, and he went 30 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 1: on Shark's tank. Thought he was going to be a millionaire, 31 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: but then he ended up boofing all all over Laura 32 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: grand Year or whatever her name is. Does biff mean Barford? 33 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: Doesn't mean fart? Why are you barkst on her? So 34 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: since then I've retired my husband because I said, just 35 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: do what he liked to do at home. He's been 36 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,359 Speaker 1: really needi lately, so I took him to breakfast over 37 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: the weekend, which brings me do Biden spotty? Does anyone 38 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: know if the Biden granddaughters waitress at Perkins? I thought 39 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: I saw one of them there. You know, they're beautiful girls, 40 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 1: the granddaughters beautiful saw them at the inauguration. They look 41 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 1: like an ad for the King of Prussia. Mall. I mean, 42 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: I was impressed they got James Ens. Let me tell 43 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: you bike. You know, we had to leave the Perkins 44 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 1: before it could get and good look at the waitress 45 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: because Patrick brought our dog Amtrack and Amtrak was barking 46 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 1: like there was a dupot chemical fire. I mean, I 47 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 1: swear to God, it's our fault. It's our fault. We 48 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: got Amtrak from the same breeder that the Bidens got 49 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 1: their last dog. You remember Major, Yeah, the one that 50 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: was a threat to national security. This dog tried to 51 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: take the old guy out and now jos All went 52 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: around like he slipped in the shower. It's not good 53 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: for the country the dog Major. And I can say 54 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 1: this because I'm an abgyn. The dog was undercooked. Okay, 55 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: that's what you get for going to a breeder. The 56 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: DNA is too close together. Maybe we should just do 57 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,239 Speaker 1: to Amtrak what the White House did a Major. I mean, 58 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: they sent Major to a farm. And you can't see 59 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: on the podcast, but I'm doing air quotes when I 60 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: talk about send them to a farm, and good Witance. 61 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: You know, I hope they killed him. I really do. Anyway, 62 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: talking about my husband, and I guess my dog brings 63 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: us to the real meat and potatoes of the episode. 64 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: Today's topic is bobbing years six. Unfortunately, old people have 65 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: sex too. And when my mom went into her assistant 66 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: living facility, I mean the clap spread like wildfire crotch, 67 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: so much clap. I thought when am I at a 68 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: production of Hamilton and I wish I was because I 69 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: saw a tour of Hamilton and Philly a couple of 70 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: years ago, and my best girlfriend, her name's also Nancy. 71 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was amazing. They got George Washington, 72 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: Thomas Jefferson, they're all rapping. I mean they never would 73 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: have done that. They didn't even have rap back then. 74 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: It is so creative. And the other thing is all 75 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: these Founding Fathers. They're black in the musical. I guess what, 76 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: guys in real life they were actually white. It really 77 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: makes you think, It really makes you think. And also 78 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 1: the songs are real good. Anyway, speaking of my mother 79 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: having sex, I go visit her on Mother's Day and 80 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: I'm giving out penicillin like greeting cards. Okay, this woman 81 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: She says to me, this woman, this woman, and I'm 82 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 1: talking about the woman who brought me into this world, 83 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: my dear mother. She tells me, oh, Nancy, guess what, 84 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: I got a boyfriend. And she keeps telling me her 85 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: boyfriend is her first love, which is write to my pop. Okay, 86 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 1: she said to me the other day, she says, your 87 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 1: father never could satisfy me like I care. My dad 88 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,600 Speaker 1: paid for my college and he scared the shit out 89 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: of all of my boyfriends. As far as I'm concerned, 90 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: he did his duty. His husband, Well, what are you 91 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: gonna do? She's eighty and she's hornier than my Marcus 92 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: when he goes to his sister volleyball games. Relax, he's 93 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: staring at her friends, not his sister, although you know 94 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: I wouldn't put it past him. She's got a body 95 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 1: on her. And I can say that because she's my daughter. 96 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: And Aaron, if you're listening, enjoy a while, alass, because 97 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: he got my same hair, of my same pitts, and 98 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:53,040 Speaker 1: I know where that shit goes south. All that's to say, 99 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: my horny mother really inspired today's episode, which brings us 100 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: to our first segment, Tips for old people who want 101 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: to have sex, even though when we think about it 102 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: it makes us want to spew. Sex is always weird, 103 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: but exactly how weird it is changes as we get older. 104 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: You get older, your joints are stiff, you can't move 105 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,480 Speaker 1: like he used to. The penis is less out than 106 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: paying a little more wet noodle, and of course in 107 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: menopause there's all sorts of dryness that occurs. Now, I'm 108 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: only forty two, but God took away my period as 109 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: a reward for bringing so many of his children into 110 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,040 Speaker 1: the world, and as a result, I've got the early pause. 111 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: And let me tell you, I love it. I'm boiling 112 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: hot about once an hour, but I am about tampons 113 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 1: about four years. So let's go through some of our 114 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: top tips for the elderly who want to get it on. 115 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: Tip number one, poys are your friends as you get older, 116 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: your dexterity lessons. You know how it's taking you a 117 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: little extra time to button that button, Well, you don't 118 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: want that to mean you can't press her button. See 119 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: next Chris miss or Easter. Ask your grandkids to buy 120 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 1: you a vibrator and yeah, it also works as a 121 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: back passager. Tip number two, lots of things are sex. 122 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: Sex doesn't mean in outcome. Sex can be cuddling, watching porn, 123 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: edging side by side, diddle aka mutual masturbation, or maybe 124 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: you just buck parts until one of youse gets tired. 125 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: The point is, don't think of sex as a failure 126 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: if it's not what we traditionally think of as sex. Yeah, 127 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: you want to know what My idea of an orgasm 128 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: is a cleanhouse and I get in a solid couple 129 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,239 Speaker 1: of episodes of yellow Stones before I pass out. Best 130 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: case scenario, no one touches me. Tip number three bring reinforcements. 131 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: The mind baby willing, but the body she's got some 132 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: catching up to do. That's where science comes in. Last Christmas, 133 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: I went to Kinkos and had a hundred copies of 134 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 1: Viagra prescriptions made, and I'm just passing those out of 135 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: the retirement home like Candy and lou Blue Blue. Step 136 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:21,119 Speaker 1: number five talk about sex. Whether you've got a hot 137 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: nursing home boy boy hook up, or it's your huband 138 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: the fifty years, The hottest sex is communicative sex. And 139 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: it might go a little something like this, stimulate my PRUSHTYEP, 140 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: you're what my BRUSHTYEP, you're a right by prusty girl 141 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: up state. No finger in the butt. Okay, I'm growing 142 00:08:53,040 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: like that. Oh okay, Miracle alert, miracle alert. This is 143 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: very important medical information for the public. The older you are, 144 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:13,199 Speaker 1: the more difficult conception is. However, miracles do happen and 145 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: they are gross. Don't let this be you. I had 146 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: a fifty eight year old comment my unit pregnant, and 147 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: I've got sweats to say this, but the baby came 148 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 1: out old. Okay, Benjamin Button style. But only difference is 149 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: I don't think this one's coming out looking like Brad 150 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 1: Pitt in forty years. I think that they're gonna look 151 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 1: more like those dance and raisins you know that come 152 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: on before the movie plays, even though I think those 153 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: raisins are racist. Now, okay, okay, let's get into some questions. 154 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,200 Speaker 1: I'm really excited about this Q and A about sex 155 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: and any age because we got a lot of questions 156 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 1: because I guess old people aren't afraid to write letters. 157 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: Pulled on one second, Oh God, he's calling me. It's 158 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: just Patrick. Okay, I'll call him later. Say. Our first 159 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 1: question comes from Hoho kessin haughty? Who kessin haughty? Says 160 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 1: I'm danged the man in his seventies and want to 161 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: know will I be charged with murder if I fuck 162 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: my partner to death? I need an answer very quickly. 163 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: Please help me. Okay, well, then cassin hatty if you 164 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 1: want my honest opinion, there's a lot worse ways to go. 165 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: Might as well go out having a good time. Also, 166 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: it sounds like you do need to call him nine 167 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: one one right now, so you know, stop listening to 168 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 1: the podcast and go do that question number two ski Boomer. 169 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 1: Ski Boomer says, I was ski in the Pocono Poconess. Nice, 170 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 1: I was ski in a few weeks ago, and I 171 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: hurt myself real bad. Do you recommend any fun sex 172 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: positions for someone with a bad back and a bad 173 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: knee and a new hip and a bad shoulder. And 174 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 1: also I get busy when I stand up too fast? 175 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: Do I have any fun sex positions for you? No? 176 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: Take a hint. God doesn't want you to. You know. 177 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: I had knee surgery a few years ago and went 178 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: on bedrust for six weeks. Patrick, God bless him. He 179 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: tries to get on top of me as delicately as possible, 180 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 1: but it just made it worse. I made him sit 181 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 1: on the floor while I diddled myself. Think about John 182 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: Legend finishing about forty eight seconds. Oh, speak at the devil. Okay, 183 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: he's calling me again. Ignore stop calling me. I am 184 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: at work, all right. This next question, Anomalous says, what 185 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: should I do if I accidentally mix up my VIAGRAA 186 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 1: with my morning vitamins and I have to go to 187 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: work with a Rocky Balboa in my pants. This is 188 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: funny that they asked this because this actually happens to 189 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,959 Speaker 1: my Patrick all the time, and I usually tell him 190 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,679 Speaker 1: to stop at the Duncans. You know, get a couple 191 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: of boxes of donuts, your sprinkle classics, your jelly fills, 192 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: your corollers, maybe a seasonal one, and then carried around 193 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: the office all day, you know, pretending like you're doing 194 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 1: something nice and giving out free donuts, but really like 195 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: the box is kind of covering your pecker, if you 196 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,959 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Plus, people are much more forgiving 197 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: of an accidental bone or when they got a mouthful 198 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: of cruller. Jesus's text to me, are you at work? No, 199 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 1: I'm getting my asshole bleached. I'm always at work. Okay. 200 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:21,679 Speaker 1: Next question, Anonymous says, I can't find my penis. Where 201 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,079 Speaker 1: did it go? Oh God? This happens to Patrick Doo 202 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: And it's actually a very real condition called buried penis, 203 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 1: And don't worry. It's super uncommon. It just means he 204 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,440 Speaker 1: got a lot of foreskin or a lot of ball sack. 205 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: What try rolling it down sort of like a popsicle, 206 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: you know, the wrapper, and just dig around in there. 207 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: Don't worry, your penis don't disappear. Okay, We've got another 208 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: question from anonymous and I'm missending in a lot of questions, 209 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: says my partner only wants to have sex if we 210 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: turn on an episode of yellow Stones at full volume 211 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: while we're doing it. Is this normal? Okay? You know 212 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 1: what these questions are all from? Patrick? What the heck 213 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: is he doing? Let me give him a call. Patrick. 214 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: You know, if I had known that, it would have 215 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: taken me twenty questions. I'm playing twenty questions with these 216 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,719 Speaker 1: over here on the phone. Patrick, I pulled us. I 217 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 1: was at work and I'm recording my radio show podcast Nance. 218 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: I know the day to day, Okay, I'm putting together 219 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: your schedule. I'm looking at Google Cow. I'm basically your 220 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,959 Speaker 1: assistant at this point, I just come home. Okay, Nance, 221 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: I'm missus Patrick. I am looking at the cow right now. Yeah, 222 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,319 Speaker 1: what's it's down the cow? What's it's and the cow? 223 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: NaN's take a close d do a close read to 224 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: the cow. Okay, And that's gonna be a mea culpo 225 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 1: on Nance's part because I am seeing that it's our anniversary. 226 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: It's our anniversary. I feel so bad at our anniversary. 227 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 1: And that's why you've been paxt then that's why I've 228 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: been texting. I'm not trying to make you feel any 229 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: type of way, but I just but but I'm just saying, 230 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,079 Speaker 1: this is the big this is the ghost tour anniversary. 231 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,760 Speaker 1: This is the first date was the ghost tour and 232 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 1: Bethany Beach. Oh my god, now you're taking me back. Okay, folks. 233 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 1: So Patrick and I, as you know, we met at 234 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 1: ud that's University at the Delaware and uh yeah, on 235 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: our first date, he took me on a ghost tour 236 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: of Bethany Beach. But um, because Bethany Beach is actually 237 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 1: such a Christian town, it was a pretty boring ghost 238 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: tour is a boring ghost tour, and they said everyone's 239 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: gone to heaven. You're not going to see the ghosts 240 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: here because you know they don't believe in the purgatory 241 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 1: or some such. We go, you know, we Christian ghost tour, Okay, 242 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 1: And I'm really excited because I'm thinking, Oh, I'm with 243 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: this guy, Patrick, my husband currently. Back then, when we 244 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 1: you know, we were we were young, and uh, you know, Patrick, 245 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 1: I hope I'm not speaking out of school. You do 246 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,320 Speaker 1: with a little different back then, Yeah, I had I had, 247 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 1: I had the gutters. Yeah, and I had a I mean, 248 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: I mean Trice tricep And I remember telling my mom 249 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: about shoes and being like, I met this guy. I 250 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 1: think he's the one. He's got gutters. Then I had 251 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 1: midlife scoliosis spine kind of you knows say that. Yeah, 252 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: that was terrible. And he had a herniated disk and 253 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: he was on bed rest for six months. I had 254 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: to hire a nanny for him. And this is the thing. 255 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: Nance can do nothing to help me. Nancy's like, I'm 256 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: I don't I don't go down there. I'm on the 257 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: other side of the body. You know, it's not I 258 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: don't do the back stuff. I don't do the back 259 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: stuff at all. And always asking me to do the back, 260 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: and you tell me that you look to look from 261 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: the front. I like to do it from the front. 262 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: I think if you're married, you should do it from 263 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 1: the front. Nancy, you didn't even put me in the 264 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: damn stirrups. All I wanted was like one little ride 265 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: on the stirrups. He wouldn't even do that for me, 266 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 1: you know, I you know this is actually I'm getting 267 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: upset because I'm reminiscent a little too hard, and it's 268 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: just a lot of it's just a lot of moments 269 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: where you weren't there for me, Nance and I'm older. 270 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 1: You're cooking. I'm cooking meals for you with the air 271 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: fryer every day. Patrick. How many times I have to 272 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 1: tell you this, Okay, I'm there for you financially. Here's 273 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,479 Speaker 1: paying for that air friar? Okay, Who's panned for Marcus's 274 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 1: hockey go equipment? Who's paying for Aaron's uggs? Okay? Nancy 275 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: is so yeah, your role is the air friar. Your 276 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: role is taking care of the dogs. You kind of 277 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: make the house a home while I'm out, you know, 278 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 1: bringing babies into the world and a pan or mortgage. 279 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: That's it. That's tale. Is all this time. Patrick, Okay, 280 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: I understand, I understand and listen. I don't have no 281 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: qualms about the gender roles being what they are. I 282 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: knowed you then you're very well Patrick. I always say 283 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: that about you. I always send it to the nurses 284 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: on my unit. I say, you know, say what you 285 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: want a boy, my husband, Patrick piece extremely wet well 286 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 1: pray twenty twelve. We'll say you would even say worked 287 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: because I because I you know, my You've I've undiagnosed 288 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,119 Speaker 1: what's it called? What's it called when you can't sleep? 289 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 1: I'm not the medical expert. You this is what it's 290 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 1: called insomnia? Well, I don't know. I don't know the 291 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: word because I'm awake every freaking hour. Every waking hour 292 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: for me is twenty four I've got I'm awake the 293 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 1: whole time. No, so you're kind of a zombie. I'm zombie. Fine. Also, 294 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,439 Speaker 1: all I'm gonna say is, ever since you started to 295 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 1: listen to a stair Perell girl, you're going, oh, oh, 296 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: I'm the financial You know, you and I are financial partners. 297 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 1: We're financial soul maids. I bankroll all your stuff at home. 298 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,479 Speaker 1: As long as you looks at the Google Californy, and 299 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 1: I go, I don't want that nance. I want you 300 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,199 Speaker 1: to look at my potential and grown hairs. I'm shaving 301 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 1: with a single razor with a single blade down there, 302 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: and you won't even look at my damns grow. Oh. Patrick, 303 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:07,159 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I really am sorry. And I know and 304 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,280 Speaker 1: I know everything you do for me, and I do 305 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: notice your ingram heres. I just don't want to say 306 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,919 Speaker 1: nothing about it because I don't want to embarrass you. 307 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: But I do notice. And I love it when I 308 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: get my aired Peeban jay in the morning and it's 309 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,879 Speaker 1: it's in the fridge with my Chinese chicken salad. I 310 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,719 Speaker 1: love them. You do that, I really do. Do you 311 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: like it when I air fried the lettuce? I like 312 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 1: it when you air fried the lettuce. I like it 313 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:39,440 Speaker 1: when you air fried soup. I like it. What was 314 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,439 Speaker 1: that thing you meet the other day? It was like 315 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: a vegan corn dog began corn dog with this sloppy 316 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 1: joe filling. It wasn't a weener. Well, Patrick, I don't 317 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 1: want to air out our dirty laundry on my radio 318 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,479 Speaker 1: podcast show, but um, I guess it's too late. Uh. 319 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: I'll just be honest with you, you know, the successive parts. 320 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,199 Speaker 1: Dog's really gone to my head, and I'm kind of 321 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: looking in the mirror and I'm seeing myself differently, and 322 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,120 Speaker 1: I'm walking a little taller, and you know, maybe it's 323 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 1: a classic case if I forgot the people who brought 324 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,920 Speaker 1: me here. Yeah, and I don't want you to think 325 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 1: that your husband of nineteen years is one of the 326 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,720 Speaker 1: little people. Okay, and look, what's the topic this episode? 327 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:27,239 Speaker 1: Old people? The topic is elderly sex. Old people just 328 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: say old people. Okay, Well, I'm trying to make it 329 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,360 Speaker 1: pec but uh, you know, yeah, I mean it's old 330 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: people slapping parts. But I don't really want to think 331 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: about that with us, you know, like, yeah, you had 332 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 1: your scolios, this whole thing, and you know, I tore 333 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,639 Speaker 1: a lot with Marcus and so that was a whole journey, 334 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: you know. But I guess I don't really want to 335 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 1: think about us having sex from the world or really 336 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: us having sex now, to be honest, I don't say 337 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 1: that nance you and I watched and just like that 338 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: together and he said, oh, fifties and you thirty, and 339 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: you're not even there yet. You're not even fifty yet. 340 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: We're both in our late forties. Over her love and life. 341 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 1: I'm going crazy with the air Friar home, setting up 342 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 1: the Google cow, putting trumpets in the cases for Marcus 343 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,639 Speaker 1: and Aaron. We're raising two trumpets. What are we doing? 344 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: Raising care trumpet? Okay, this is something that I need 345 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: to talk about. Actually, I'm glad you brought this up. Patrick, 346 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:35,360 Speaker 1: Marcus starts playing the trumpet at eleven. Okay, that actually 347 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: has a lot of sense. Boy playing trumpet, Boy play trumpet. 348 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:44,120 Speaker 1: Aaron at sixty, she's a sophomore in high school. She 349 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 1: starts playing the trumpet. Okay, I part a daughter no 350 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:53,439 Speaker 1: matter what, but not everything needs to be supported. Nance 351 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,679 Speaker 1: This is the thing. I don't think the podcast changed it. 352 00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,679 Speaker 1: I think You've always been this person who's, you know, 353 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,400 Speaker 1: been a little hesitant to be there for people. That's why, 354 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: that's why as you didn't know that this was our 355 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: anniversary today, I kinda think it's almost like burthen Babies. 356 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: Every single day. I feel like I'm there for people 357 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,240 Speaker 1: on the first day, most important day of their life, 358 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 1: and then after that I kind of get a free pass. 359 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 1: And I'm realizing, Patrick, baby, that's a big issue for me. Yeah, 360 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 1: and maybe we should get on us there, Parrel's podcast 361 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 1: and exams that together dance. I think we're doing all 362 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 1: the work here, no mediator needed. I think we can 363 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 1: work this out right now on Parts Talk, and I 364 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 1: think the listeners are really gonna love it. I think 365 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 1: you're gonna get even more listeners. I'm looking at the 366 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,760 Speaker 1: analytics every week. I'm going, Wow, month over month of 367 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: growth is hockey sticks. Baby, you're looking at the analytics. 368 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 1: He never tell me you're looking at my radio podcast analytics. 369 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: I read podcast statistics for dommies in one sitting for you, Babe, Patrick, 370 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,160 Speaker 1: you are the wind beneath my wings. I just don't 371 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: even know what you're doing. I mean, you're like, what's 372 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: that thing? Like Jesus in the sand? I only saw 373 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 1: one set of footprints. Babe, you're cheering me like Jesus 374 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: saw at the beach. And I don't even know. It's 375 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 1: not my job to tell you. I'm just over here 376 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: saying every day I want to try to recreate something 377 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,160 Speaker 1: with you. That's the same thing as me going, Hey, 378 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,399 Speaker 1: let's drive from Newark down to Bethany Beach. It's only 379 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 1: two hours because we're not going to because we're leaving 380 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: world early in the morning and it's date number one. 381 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 1: And we went to a Christian ghost tour that was 382 00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 1: extremely short, fifteen minutes. And the whole time I was spoofing, 383 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,639 Speaker 1: I would get really spooked, so what could chop into 384 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,199 Speaker 1: your arms? But the only time they had was eleven 385 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: Aya and so it was bright daylight out kind of 386 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 1: like midsommer before they did midsommer, you know, like scary daylight. 387 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 1: But it wasn't even scary. It was it daylight. And 388 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,679 Speaker 1: then I'll never forget it turned to me at eleven 389 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 1: fifteen when the ghost tour is over, and you said, 390 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: let's go down to the floor walking get a cone 391 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,400 Speaker 1: from course, can I remember that cone? And you got 392 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 1: oh cherry dip a cone and I got a chocolate 393 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: dip cone. Do you remember that? I remember that. I 394 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 1: try to make a cherry joke. But I knew you 395 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 1: were in school that you wanted to, you know, look 396 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: at vaginas someday, and you know, I thought would be 397 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,199 Speaker 1: in poor taste. Yeah, But then I was eating that 398 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,120 Speaker 1: chocolate dip scone and I meet sure you saw all 399 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:56,360 Speaker 1: the play down light throat, because I said, this man's 400 00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:00,639 Speaker 1: gotta know the skills that Nancy has. Oh my god, 401 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: Patrick reminiscent about Bethany Beach is getting me a kind 402 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: of hot in my seat. Yeah. Yeah. And the funniest 403 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: part is you and I didn't even do nothing until 404 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: the seventh day. Well, no, because I'm a good Catholic girl. No, no, right, yeah, 405 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 1: and you were going to respect me because I'm no whore. No, 406 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,959 Speaker 1: You're not a whore, I know, no, of course, no. No. 407 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: I mean, like, this podcast is about sexual health, and 408 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 1: this podcast is a no slut shaming zone. But I'll 409 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,920 Speaker 1: just say to slut shame myself, which I could never 410 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: because I'm no whore. You know you're not. There's no slut. 411 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,920 Speaker 1: I'm not a dirty girl. No, you're not doing any 412 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 1: sort of auto slut shaming because you know you were 413 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: never a whole Like on the first day. If I 414 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,160 Speaker 1: don't care about you is yeah, I'll sucking fuck anything. 415 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 1: But when it comes to my husband, Patrick, yeah, I'm 416 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,199 Speaker 1: not sleeping with you until the seventh eighth day. You 417 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 1: got to meet my father first, because you're my husband, 418 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: and I ain't a dirty girl. Now before yous, I 419 00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 1: was this and that and traps and all over town. 420 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 1: As I know, you were as well, Patrick, because I 421 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,359 Speaker 1: had in my mind a couple of gals that I 422 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 1: know around the University of the Dolaware campus that I 423 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,360 Speaker 1: knows he's what's fooling around with. But guess what a 424 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,160 Speaker 1: man's going to be A man's people don't know about 425 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:24,399 Speaker 1: my medical peculiarity there? Do they have you told anybody's what? What? What? 426 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:28,160 Speaker 1: What's wrong? What's what's wrong? Darling hippo, that's not I'm 427 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,639 Speaker 1: I'm to disclose. I'm gonna say it disclosed, babe, disclose 428 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: tell the people might asked deference a shot. I'm over 429 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 1: here horny is hell every day waiting for my wife 430 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 1: to come home. I'm horny, but I got nothing off. Okay. 431 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 1: It's like when someone you know, making working class weightes 432 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 1: want to be philanthropist, you know, don't really work out. 433 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 1: But you're talking about your brother, talking about my brother, 434 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: and I'm talking about my dick. Yeah, anytime I climax, 435 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: nothing comes out. It's what us in the medical community 436 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,920 Speaker 1: call a ghost nut. Yeah, it's a ghost super Patrick 437 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: is Uh. He's as hot for me as a and 438 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,480 Speaker 1: basically all you know, I wear shorts around the house 439 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,639 Speaker 1: and he's at full mast and the kids and the 440 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,920 Speaker 1: dogs can see. I mean he doesn't care. No, there's 441 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 1: no there's no like hazard or anything. No. I mean 442 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 1: every time I hear the dog's bark and I'm like, oh, 443 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,959 Speaker 1: Patrick's walking around a full mast again. I know, I know, 444 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 1: you know, and you know not to get too graphic. 445 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,159 Speaker 1: But we hop and we pump, you know, once a 446 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 1: month because we're married, and I made a vow, and 447 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,800 Speaker 1: we hop and we pump, and it gets to that 448 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: magic moment and pumping. There's no final moment. Okay, you 449 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 1: start to realize that the water fountain is out of order. 450 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: Instead of an old faithful you're kind of getting just 451 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: like a balloon that pomps. What's it feel like, Patrick, 452 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 1: Because it looks like it's that feels good. I do 453 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: feel the cartilage sort of move in a little bit. 454 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:09,160 Speaker 1: Oh the blood's flowing, for sure. Yeah, it feels nice. 455 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:13,199 Speaker 1: But there's nothing, um, there's nothing coming out. And you know, 456 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,200 Speaker 1: it works out for us because there's no cleanup. There's 457 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: no cleanup. And you know what I say, when this 458 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,160 Speaker 1: little problem came up, thank god, we had our two children, 459 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 1: oh my god, before this came up, and our little 460 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:31,160 Speaker 1: miracles because imagine no and my vast deference not being functional. 461 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 1: No more is I think God giving me a gift. 462 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:38,399 Speaker 1: It's a blessing because I bless the world with Sorry 463 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: Marcus Merit Hey, good God. Marcus and Aaron are two 464 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 1: beautiful children, and the world needs two more trumpet plays. 465 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: Are two little trumpet leaders. God, he know. I just 466 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: s think about Marcus, her son at Powis sheets, at 467 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:01,360 Speaker 1: everything in this room, and honestly the base with absolutely 468 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 1: covered in cold. Then Eric got she's had a bristed 469 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 1: she was seven years old, because she's her mother's door. 470 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,680 Speaker 1: Then I just look at her and I think die. 471 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: And my daughter is that they might cost me. I 472 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: just want you then, fine, blood the wrist, that's the 473 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:32,600 Speaker 1: one hive you. I am so happy he need. I 474 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 1: want to die in your arms. I want to die. 475 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: I want to I want someone to kill you while 476 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 1: I'm bolding you. I didn't remember the last taking the 477 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 1: note fock patch. That's how I want to go. Listen. No, no, no, 478 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: not on our anniversary. We can't do this, baby. I've 479 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,959 Speaker 1: turned it over for a new week. I'm gonna renew 480 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 1: my vows right now. Let's renew our vows. Right now 481 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 1: on the podcast house on parts Talk Okay, over the fat. 482 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 1: It's exactly how we should be doing it, exactly. I'll go. 483 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: I'll go first. Thank you, okay, I pinky promise too, 484 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 1: never complain about the podcast growth, especially since I'm the 485 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 1: one basically behind the scenes. Check in the megaphone dot 486 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: fm site looking at the numbers every day. Don't my god, 487 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 1: look at the Look at the line on this raft. 488 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: It looks like a damn hockey stick. It's going up, up, up, 489 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 1: with a sharp upward turn. I promise to give you 490 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: the space to succeed in this, in this space, in 491 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 1: the digital podcast space. I promise to air Frau, a 492 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: PB and J a Chinese chicken salad every morning waiting 493 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 1: for you in the fridge. I promise to make sure 494 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,959 Speaker 1: Marcus don't have no ghost now when he grows up, 495 00:29:54,440 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: and that Aaron keeps her huge, huge breasts proportional to 496 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 1: her body size and wait for the rest of her life. 497 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,479 Speaker 1: She needs to get a reductionable support her that's what 498 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,240 Speaker 1: she wants, if that's what she wants. But Patrick, that 499 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 1: was so beautiful. Thank you Nan. Those were the most 500 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: beautiful vows. Those were more beautiful than the vows that 501 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: even did it our wedding day, and honestly don't really 502 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: remember them because I was hammered. That was I, but 503 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,200 Speaker 1: not as beautiful as the way you looked at the 504 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 1: Christian ghosts. Okay, let me think I were so beautiful 505 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 1: that day? Was that beautiful you were? You were ravishing 506 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 1: and beautiful. I'm gonna cry cry nice, I'm not. I 507 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: got it. I'm good. I'm good. I can't beat my Browns. Patrick, 508 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: to you, my hubband, my house huband of nineteen years, 509 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: Patrick Pitts. By the way, baby, thanks for taking my 510 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 1: last name. I found to be more emotionally vulnerable and 511 00:30:53,960 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 1: emotionally available, if not physically available, to you. To not 512 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: let the massive success on my podcast parts talk, to 513 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 1: go to my head and to remember my roots, my foundation, 514 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 1: my core as OBGYN mother and wife and dog mom. 515 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: And also I make the best sangria on our block. 516 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: You do you put Parson everyone's too afraid to put Parson. 517 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: I vow dull apples. Sorry, I vow to jack you 518 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: off at least once a week, penetration once a month 519 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 1: for the rest of my life, until your boner does 520 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 1: whatever it does. I don't know if the viewers really 521 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 1: got this from the ghost nut part when we talked 522 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 1: about that. But there is a release. The boner is there, 523 00:31:57,080 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 1: and then the boner is gone. There is just no nut. 524 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 1: There's just no nut. And the reason it's called a 525 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: ghost nut is partially I think I'm getting the etymology 526 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 1: right is that it is possessed. Oh, I think, I 527 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,000 Speaker 1: do think. I think that the theory is all the 528 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: medical professionals and my wife notwithstanding, say that I have 529 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:21,719 Speaker 1: a ghost living in my penile connection. And my final 530 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: vow to you, Patrick Pitts is that I will forever 531 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:32,360 Speaker 1: take a ghost tour of your ghost haunted penis for 532 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 1: the rest of my life and never look at another man, 533 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:42,080 Speaker 1: whether he be Joe Biden or anybody in the Biden 534 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 1: family who I secretly find extremely attractive, no matter the gender. 535 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 1: Speaking of Joe, I got something waiting on the sons 536 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,680 Speaker 1: for you. You want me to play it? Give me 537 00:32:55,680 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 1: a little sneak peek, babe, Alexa, play our special song 538 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 1: of your baby. Um Baby, I'm coming here right now. 539 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 1: He's better be wet now, baby baby, I'm about to 540 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 1: slip off this dang podcasting chair. I'm gonna go right now. 541 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 1: Well fits. This has been Patrick Pitts, my Bolts schooldiosist, 542 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,760 Speaker 1: thought of a husband, father of my two kids. God, 543 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: I love him. I'm gonna go home and write him 544 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,720 Speaker 1: until his dick falls off. Thank you so much for 545 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: listening to Parks Podcast.